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Jim plays video games on his computer and then Dwight is angry he is doing that at work. 
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Sep 29, 2022 00:38
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| # ? May 30, 2024 11:56 |
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While reaching behind the fax machine one day to remove the silly putty that Jim ran through the rollers, he feels a slight pinch. He never suspects that Jim used the opportunity to draw a quick sample of his blood and use the DNA to clone an exact replica of Dwight. Jim’s plan originally was to grind the Dwight clone up and cook the carcass into burgers, then to serve those burgers to Dwight at the Dunder Mifflin “Adios, Summer! FALL-sale-abration Autumn Foliage Event”. When Dwight took his first bite, Jim was going to say “Hey Balloon Boy, eat your heart out!” But Jim’s plans changed the moment baby clone Dwight first crawled out of the beaker in the science lab portion of the Prankatorium. Something in those innocent little eyes and fragile hands spoke to Jim. He immediately took the baby up in his arms and vowed to raise him as his own. Jim introduced “Dwight Jr.” as a foundling to Pam, who (after Cece and Phillip mysteriously disappeared) was happy to have the pitter-patter of little feet in the home again. Dwight Jr. quickly grew into a tall, lithesome youth of strong sinew and quick of wit. Somehow the lad had a stabilizing effect on Jim, who became a proud father and a better man. But one day, while explaining the density of noble gases, Jim made the mistake of saying “and that is how hot air balloons rise.” Dwight Jr. suddenly looked amazed, excited, and asked “What is a hot air balloon, Papa?” “Nothing!” Shouted Jim, slamming the textbook shut. “You must never ask me again! And never go in one! Now it is time for bed.” But Dwight Jr. couldn’t sleep that night. Now that he knew about them, he had to find one and ride in it himself. He would be a real Balloon Boy.
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Sep 29, 2022 01:04
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Jim replaces the toner in the copying machine with poo poo so that everything Dwight prints smells like poo poo.
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Sep 29, 2022 01:59
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While Dwight is working, Jim reaches under his desk with a hole puncher to give him a Prince Albert.
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Sep 29, 2022 04:02
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Jim creates a plaster cast of Toby's face and uses it to create a prosthetic mask. When Dwight complains about Jim's latest prank to hr, "toby" assures him justice will be served.
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Sep 29, 2022 06:03
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FunkyAl posted:Jim creates a plaster cast of Toby's face and uses it to create a prosthetic mask. When Dwight complains about Jim's latest prank to hr, "toby" assures him justice will be served. When Pam complains about Jim wearing the mask during sex, he insists that “it was part of our deal, ok?”
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Sep 29, 2022 06:23
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Libra posted:Jim pretends to have forgotten how to pee, and spends much of the afternoon begging Dwight to "help him out" in the bathroom. jim claims he "cannot pee unless dwight is looking directly into his eyes"
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Sep 29, 2022 07:32
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jomp
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Sep 29, 2022 09:53
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Jim tricks Dwight into holding two spinning basketballs on his fingertips. Unfortunately for Dwight, Jim has placed two perpetual motion machines in the balls, ensuring that they never, ever stop spinning. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Sep 29, 2022 11:01
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim tricks Dwight into holding two spinning basketballs on his fingertips. Unfortunately for Dwight, Jim has placed two perpetual motion machines in the balls, ensuring that they never, ever stop spinning. Jim follows Dwight around whistling Sweet Georgia Brown for the rest of his (Dwight)'s life.
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Sep 29, 2022 12:14
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Jim's newest song, "Prankster's Paradise", is actually pretty clever and Dwight chuckles politely at the end. Thinking that Jim may have turned over a new leaf, Dwight tells Jim that he appreciates the loving tribute to Coolio. Jim looks at him, utterly flummoxed. "Who the hell is Coolio?"
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Sep 29, 2022 12:45
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Jim starts an anti-bullying campaign that teaches children to "brutally prank" their bullies. When Dwight argues that this just turns those children into bullies of a different kind, an alarm rises from the top of Jim's desk and starts flashing red and blaring a siren. "BULLY ALERT! BULLY ALERT! WE HAVE A BULLY ALERT IN SECTOR A-1!" Jim then pulls a bottle of A-1 steak sauce from his pocket and sprays Dwight with it. Miles away, at Scranton Elementary School, Philip is in gym class. A larger child is taunting him for his floppy hair. "Floppy hair! Whaddaya got in there, a bunch bird eggs?" As the child reaches for Philip's hair, a tiny bird actually does flutter out of Phillip's hair. It looks like a bright-red hummingbird. The bully is so caught off guard that he freezes in place. The hummingbird then flies at the boy's neck and implants its thin, long beak into it. As it does, blood begins to spray forth from the wound. The boy lets out a yelp of pain, only to have it muffled as Philip wraps both of his tiny hands around the child's mouth. "Shhhh. No more screaming, it'll be over the soon." The boy looks at his neck and sees the hummingbird growing fatter and fatter as if it were a tick gorging itself on human blood. The world begins to fade for the 12 year old boy as the hummingbird greedily devours pint after pint, fresh from an artery. When it finishes its wicked meal the bird, which now resembles some sort of bright-red softball with wings, flies back into Philip's unruly hair and disappears. All of this is witnessed by the faculty of Scranton Elementary, who nod to themselves and note that Jim's anti-bullying campaign is working exactly as it was designed to.
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Sep 29, 2022 13:13
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Suddenly a huge truck tire dressed in a business suit bursts through the window, bounces once off Phyllis's desk and careens into Dwight's chest, knocking Dwight to the ground and breaking six of his ribs. "How's that for proper work ATTIRE, balloon boy?" quips Jim. Jim pauses for a beat and scowls. "poo poo." In a talking head segment, Jim explains he was really expecting Dwight to make a comment about Jim's clown costume that time. "Next time I'll have a 'close shave' joke ready as a backup," says Jim.
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Sep 29, 2022 13:36
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Suddenly a huge truck tire dressed in a business suit bursts through the window, bounces off Phyllis's desk and barrels straight toward Dwight. "Nooooooo!" Jim screeches as he tackles Dwight to the ground just milliseconds before the tire goes sailing over both of their heads. "That thing might have killed me! You saved my life, Jim." says Dwight, astonished. "How's that—" Jim gasps to catch his breath, "for a close—gasp—shave—huhhhhhhhooof!—balloon boy?" Jim rolls over on his back and mugs up at the ceiling camera. Nailed it. Meanwhile, Pam's arms and legs flail from behind either side of the truck tire partially embedded in the wall behind the reception desk.
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Sep 29, 2022 13:49
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Suddenly a huge shaving blade dressed in proper business attire crashes through the window hitting Dwight from head to belly. Dwight collapses in a gory heap, dead. "How's that for a close shave, eh Dwight?", Jim mugs to the camera.
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Sep 29, 2022 14:13
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Suddenly a huge tidal wave crashes down on Dwight from seemingly nowhere, washing him out to see. "I'll show you a huge wave!" Jim cackles. Pam quickly scribbles "Jim needs hearing aids now" on her "TO DO" list.
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Sep 29, 2022 14:16
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Jim, who was up until 4am performing in a nightmare circus set up to terrify Dwight and didn't have time to change before work, glares angrily and spends the rest of the morning in sullen silence. Several other coworkers make cracks about Jim's clown outfit. "You know sometimes I wonder why I even put in the effort," says Jim angrily in a talking head segment.
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Sep 29, 2022 14:25
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Jim bursts into tears, as he’d hoped to make balloon animals for his favorite balloon boy today. Now his kind gesture has been shoved in his face. Jim feels humiliated and unappreciated. We stomps off, with each step of his oversized shoes making a silly clown noise.
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Sep 29, 2022 14:27
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Jim comes to work clean shaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Jim lets out an ear-piercing shriek, "What do you mean?! I did shave! I did everything right this time! What the hell are you talking about?!" Dwight just rolls his eyes and gets back to work as a red-faced Jim squeals and stomps his giant clown shoes, then runs to the bathroom to carefully inspect every inch of his face, searching for any stray follicles, shaking and hyperventilating the whole time. Dwight turns to mug the camera, revealing a full and luxurious beard.
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Sep 29, 2022 14:46
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Jim hijacks a truck hauling Gillette razors while screeching that he'll "FINALLY BE CLEAN SHAVEN ENOUGH FOR DWIGHT!" The truck and its contents are never found but Jim, totally hairless, mugs for the camera.
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Sep 29, 2022 14:56
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Jim comes to work unshaven and dressed in a clown costume. "Christ, Jim, you could have at least shaved," says Dwight. Jim holds up an old poster of Pranko the Clown, who is a creepy old character from a children’s show with floppy hair, three day stubble, and garish clothes. Jim is the perfect likeness. He explains to Dwight that he’s just stopping into work for a moment to get his address book before spending the day at a Children’s Hospital doing Make a Wish appearances for kids with terminal diseases. “Jeez, Dwight. Show a little compassion,” says Michael.
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Sep 29, 2022 15:00
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Jim comes to a clown costume, undressed and shaven in work. Meredith has to be taken to the hospital.
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Sep 29, 2022 15:27
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Jim comes into work, shaved of every hair on his body, and naked except for a pair of red tennis shoes. "It's called aerodynamics," he says. "Watch." He douses himself in peanut oil and blasts down the hall, slipping and sliding around every corner, down the stairs, and out the building. Dwight returns to his work, bored, before Jim slips back in an hour later and knocks him over in his chair.
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Sep 29, 2022 16:08
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Jim, hairy as an ape and naked as a jay bird, steps into the Prankatorium and rifles through his clown costumes. He pushes hangers aside. Ronald McDonald... no. Clown from IT... no. Joker costume... maybe next time. Finally his gaze settles on his vintage bozo the clown suit. "Yes yes this will do quite nicely" Jim says to himself. Jim, donning his clown costume and now also wearing a red wig and a red squeeky ball on his nose, once again breaks into Dwight's home, this time catching Dwight as he prepares an organic beet salad. Dwight doesn't even flinch when he notices Jim. It must be Thursday already. Dwight doesnt know why Jim is wearing a clown costume and Dwight doesn't care to ask. Jim appears to be free balling, Dwight notes.
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Sep 29, 2022 16:16
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Jim gets his clown costume back from the dry cleaners and realizes too late that he's been given the wrong clown costume. "I can't show up to work in this!" declares Jim, angrily. "I'll look like a fool!"
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Sep 29, 2022 17:20
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Applewhite posted:Jim gets his clown costume back from the dry cleaners and realizes too late that he's been given the wrong clown costume. Jim takes a look at the tag to try and find the original owner. "Heh," Jim laughs, "that figures!" The tag simply reads CONGRESS on it. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Sep 29, 2022 17:24
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Jim shows up to work unshaven and dressed as the pedophile sex trafficking Congressman Matt Gaetz. "Wow you're actually dressed appropriately for work for once," remarks Dwight, who can't differentiate a suit worn by Matt Gaetz from a regular business suit. Jim smirks at the camera and opens the Venmo app on his phone to make some minor purchases.
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Sep 29, 2022 17:30
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Jim shows up to work unshaven and dressed in a crisp business suit. "Christ, Jim, you look ridiculous in that outfit," remarks Dwight, who is dressed in a clown costume. This prank takes place in the timeline where people dress as clowns to go to work and business suits are worn by circus performers. Jim proceeds to hit Dwight with the classic "briefcase to the face" gag. Dwight falls backwards onto his desk, crushing all his carefully arranged work pies. Jim mugs for the camera. Cut to The Office theme rendered in calliope music.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:06
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Clown Dwight opens his desk drawer and finds his stapler, not encased in jello. "Michael!" he yells as he bolts up and stomps to Michael's office. His oversize red shoes squeak with each step.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:31
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Dwight awakens in a darkened hospital. He calls for help but is met with only silence. Becoming increasingly frightened, he bursts out onto the streets... to find them empty. There is no noise but the wind. Jim, from his rooftop sniper post watches Dwight though the scope as Dwight becomes increasing scared about this strange empty dead world. He doesn't plan to shoot him, but he could if he wanted to.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:32
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In the Clown Timeline, the Squeaky Shoe Machine is actually Business Shoe Machine. It annoys people because it doesn't squeak on every step.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:32
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Jim plays loud heavy metal music in the office. Dwight immediately reacts to press the stop button on Jim's boom box and warns Jim of the dangers of exposing oneself to such satanic incantations. Dwight goes to pray in repentance but it is too late. He has been exposed to enough of the devil's music to condemn his immortal soul to hell for eternity.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:38
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Jim turns into one of these: but with Jim eyes instead of Tim Allen eyes.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:42
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Jim creates a new sandwich called The Halpert. It's the stinkiest sandwich imaginable, makes the air around it uncomfortably moist, and the odors lingers almost supernaturally long after it's left the room or been eaten. When Kevin asks what's in the sandwich to make it so disgusting, Jim tries winking at him but just ends up blinking really forcefully, as he's still unable to wink. Jim offers to "roast up a couple of Halperts for everybody" and Dwight, in his infinite kindness, is forced to request one. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Sep 29, 2022 18:51
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In support of LIzzo, Dwight organizes the first-ever All Scranton Flute Concert, which he conducts. As he's conducting, Jim keeps yanking on the tails of his tuxedo, which Dwight has donned special for this occasion. When Dwight quickly turns around and asks him to stop, Jim mouths something (it looks like he's saying "Meatballs about tails from Sanskrit" but Dwight gets the idea) and returns to conducting. As Dwight is about to finish with a huge flourish, Jim stands up and strips nude. Painted on his sunken chest is the simple word "WOKE". Every time the flute concert is discussed, the shadow of Jim looms over it. As Dwight flips through the channels at night, he sees Jim on Tucker Carlson with the chyron "WOKE FLUTE CONCERT SHUT DOWN BY PATRIOT" underneath his mugging face.
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Sep 29, 2022 19:04
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Using the world's tiniest and least effective knife, Jim stabs Dwight to death over a period of 100 years.
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Sep 29, 2022 19:16
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Applewhite posted:minor purchases.
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Sep 29, 2022 19:25
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Jim breaks into Creed's desk and shreds every document he can grab, believing that Creed will be fired for losing his rundown. Creed is grateful that Jim is helping destroy the evidence of his insider trading.
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Sep 29, 2022 19:28
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Jim and Dwight phase out of existence because the television has been turned off.
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Sep 29, 2022 21:13
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| # ? May 30, 2024 11:56 |
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Michael and Andy arrive to the office dressed as tennis players Bobby Riggs and Billy Jean King, so as to remain “topical and current.”
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Sep 29, 2022 21:38
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