Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Eikre posted:

Ketamine is a legit good drug and I have watched a lot of young women spend a shocking amount of time and a surprising amount of money on MDMA, something something, anyway, I gotta hand it to him, and Budweiser executives should wake up to the good business sense of stepping on a product with fentanyl.

# ? Nov 4, 2022 03:17

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:34

drk: Jan 16, 2005

come fight me bro

haters and interpol welcome

(screeshotted for obvious reasons)

# ? Nov 4, 2022 03:50

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

"I'm done hiding, any one that said lies about me I will personally fly out and kill i guess"

(only people @stablekwon mentioned can reply)

# ? Nov 4, 2022 04:55

drk: Jan 16, 2005

Boxturret posted:

"I'm done hiding, any one that said lies about me I will personally fly out and kill i guess"

(only people @stablekwon mentioned can reply)

there is a not so thinly veiled threat to drop his enemies into a tank of venemous snakes inside his bond villan lair, isnt there

"join me for a drink later by the snake pit, mr FUD. your room locks from the outside"

# ? Nov 4, 2022 05:06

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

Pham Nuwen posted:

Occasionally, but it's kind of a pain because I can only use one slurp juice per ape.

Get on my level, I use three slurp juices on an ape and get three new apes

# ? Nov 4, 2022 05:18

GhostofJohnMuir: Aug 14, 2014; anime is not good

from matt levine's newsletter today

quote:

Elsewhere in tweeting through it
Do Kwon�s Twitter account remains really good? Kwon is the founder of Terra, the crypto blockchain that blew up in a stablecoin meltdown in May. He is now wanted by South Korean prosecutors, and depending on who you believe he is either �not on the run� (his view) or �obviously on the run� ( prosecutors� view). In any case he is not in custody and very much tweeting through it. Today he tweeted �Strangely, these last few weeks have been one of the most creative periods of my life.� I suppose it takes a lot of creativity to escape an arrest warrant, an Interpol red notice and some decentralized crypto vigilantes? I am glad he is having fun.

# ? Nov 4, 2022 06:13

Durzel: Nov 15, 2005

Scratch Monkey posted:

I looked into hell and saw there a playable NFT collectible art experience

# ? Nov 4, 2022 14:03

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

Pham Nuwen posted:

Occasionally, but it's kind of a pain because I can only use one slurp juice per ape.

Peaches sez "SLURP THE PAIN AWAY"

# ? Nov 4, 2022 14:14

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

orange juche posted:

Get on my level, I use three slurp juices on an ape and get three new apes

What? Nobody told me you could do that

# ? Nov 4, 2022 15:06

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

VitalSigns posted:

What? Nobody told me you could do that

Some of y'all still don't get it

# ? Nov 4, 2022 16:57

Squiggle: Sep 29, 2002; I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick.

Scratch Monkey posted:

Peaches sez "SLURP THE PAIN AWAY"

the NFTeaches of Peaches

# ? Nov 4, 2022 18:37

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

Squiggle posted:

the NFTeaches of Peaches

hack the apes away

# ? Nov 4, 2022 18:42

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

vortmax posted:

Some of y'all still don't get it

Few understand

# ? Nov 5, 2022 02:06

BoldFace: Feb 28, 2011

https://twitter.com/DrNickA/status/1588836869382754305
https://twitter.com/DrNickA/status/1588838322872676352

# ? Nov 5, 2022 20:43

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

BoldFace posted:

https://twitter.com/DrNickA/status/1588836869382754305
https://twitter.com/DrNickA/status/1588838322872676352

Was this the one with Boris Johnson?

Also, obviously, only a fool would show up, when the main value of this conference comes from receipts for tickets that you can resell later. Attending it would just put you in the red on your investment.

# ? Nov 5, 2022 21:43

Time_pants: Jun 25, 2012; Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

RocketMermaid posted:

Imagine all the buttcoin you could have bought with the money you've spent on burner accounts, dude.

I mean, it's one money pit vs another, but at least then you'd be making less of a fool of yourself.

Sorry, I'm not sure which is which in this comparison.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 02:46

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

It's the most heating efficient and Covid safe conference ever held. Crypto is the tool of choice for dealing with today's issues.

# ? Nov 6, 2022 02:55

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

Strategic Tea posted:

It's the most heating efficient and Covid safe conference ever held. Crypto is the tool of choice for dealing with today's issues.

The converational offgas alone ensures that winter will be warm enough for all!

# ? Nov 6, 2022 02:59

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

BoldFace posted:

https://twitter.com/DrNickA/status/1588836869382754305

Via a friend:

# ? Nov 6, 2022 03:08

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

vortmax posted:

Via a friend:

# ? Nov 6, 2022 03:40

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

vortmax posted:

Via a friend:

# ? Nov 6, 2022 03:45

upsidedown: Dec 30, 2008

vortmax posted:

Via a friend:

bitcoin does not fix this :hmmno:

# ? Nov 6, 2022 04:51

mdxi: Mar 13, 2006; to JERK OFF is to be close to GOD... only with SPURTING

ASIC miners now on Walmart -- at a discount!

https://www.tomshardware.com/news/walmart-sellers-now-listing-dollar6000-bitcoin-mining-machines

# ? Nov 6, 2022 05:29

Bitcoin Magnate: Nov 6, 2022; by Azathoth

I hate Bitcoin! It's awful! I repent in the name of the LORD

Somebody fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Nov 6, 2022

# ? Nov 6, 2022 21:19

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

Bitcoin Magnate posted:

I hate Bitcoin! It's awful! I repent in the name of the LORD

# ? Nov 6, 2022 22:34

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

Bitcoin Magnate posted:

I hate Bitcoin! It's awful! I repent in the name of the LORD

mlord

# ? Nov 7, 2022 01:13

BoldFace: Feb 28, 2011

https://twitter.com/WatcherGuru/status/1589385724276899841
https://twitter.com/ki_young_ju/status/1589398134211612672

# ? Nov 7, 2022 01:28

PITY BONER: Oct 18, 2021

GBS > Bitcoin: We won't pretend to make love after divorce

What does that even mean? Does he mean banging? Or neutral communication?

# ? Nov 7, 2022 02:49

latinotwink1997: Jan 2, 2008; Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!

Bitcoin Magnate posted:

I hate Bitcoin! It's awful! I repent in the name of the LORD

Wait, was this seraph? And he wasn�t banned here first? Lmao

# ? Nov 7, 2022 18:48

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

PITY BONER posted:

GBS > Bitcoin: We won't pretend to make love after divorce

What does that even mean? Does he mean banging? Or neutral communication?

I was a bit surprised but I am guessing it's the FTX Voyager poo poo. Bon Voyage, ftx!

# ? Nov 7, 2022 19:18

Thorgot: Apr 4, 2010

U.S. Attorney Announces Historic $3.36 Billion Cryptocurrency Seizure And Conviction In Connection With Silk Road Dark Web Fraud

quote:

In November 2021, Law Enforcement Seized Over 50,676 Bitcoin Hidden in Devices in Defendant JAMES ZHONG�s Home; ZHONG Has Now Pled Guilty to Unlawfully Obtaining that Bitcoin From the Silk Road Dark Web in 2012
Damian Williams, the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, and Tyler Hatcher, the Special Agent in Charge of the Internal Revenue Service, Criminal Investigation, Los Angeles Field Office (�IRS-CI�), announced today that JAMES ZHONG pled guilty to committing wire fraud in September 2012 when he unlawfully obtained over 50,000 Bitcoin from the Silk Road dark web internet marketplace. ZHONG pled guilty on Friday, November 4, 2022, before United States District Judge Paul G. Gardephe.

On November 9, 2021, pursuant to a judicially authorized premises search warrant of ZHONG�s Gainesville, Georgia, house, law enforcement seized approximately 50,676.17851897 Bitcoin, then valued at over $3.36 billion. This seizure was then the largest cryptocurrency seizure in the history of the U.S. Department of Justice and today remains the Department�s second largest financial seizure ever. The Government is seeking to forfeit, collectively: approximately 51,680.32473733 Bitcoin; ZHONG�s 80% interest in RE&D Investments, LLC, a Memphis-based company with substantial real estate holdings; $661,900 in cash seized from ZHONG�s home; and various metals also seized from ZHONG�s home.

U.S. Attorney Damian Williams said: �James Zhong committed wire fraud over a decade ago when he stole approximately 50,000 Bitcoin from Silk Road. For almost ten years, the whereabouts of this massive chunk of missing Bitcoin had ballooned into an over $3.3 billion mystery. Thanks to state-of-the-art cryptocurrency tracing and good old-fashioned police work, law enforcement located and recovered this impressive cache of crime proceeds. This case shows that we won�t stop following the money, no matter how expertly hidden, even to a circuit board in the bottom of a popcorn tin.�

IRS-CI Special Agent in Charge Tyler Hatcher said: �Mr. Zhong executed a sophisticated scheme designed to steal bitcoin from the notorious Silk Road Marketplace. Once he was successful in his heist, he attempted to hide his spoils through a series of complex transactions which he hoped would be enhanced as he hid behind the mystery of the �darknet.� IRS-CI Special Agents are the best in the world at following the money through cyberspace or wherever our financial investigations lead us. We will continue to work with our partners at the US Attorney�s Office to track down these criminals and bring them to justice.�

# ? Nov 7, 2022 20:07

Waffle House: Oct 27, 2004; You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.

In the bottom of a popcorn tin

e: actually wow, yeah. Wire fraud. That's a little better than Grand Larceny.

Waffle House fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Nov 7, 2022

# ? Nov 7, 2022 21:01

drk: Jan 16, 2005

It should be noted that essentially every fraud in 2022 is wire fraud, and stealing money via the internet is a textbook example

# ? Nov 7, 2022 21:37

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Due to the internet precedents about the series of tubes being wires even when they aren't wires, wirefraud just means being shady on the internet in a way that displeases the feds.

# ? Nov 7, 2022 22:35

RocketMermaid: Mar 30, 2004; My pronouns are She/Heir.

Bitcoin: A circuit board in the bottom of a popcorn tin

# ? Nov 7, 2022 23:26

drk: Jan 16, 2005

edit

context: FTT (FTX's in house token) has been trending down along with the overall crypto market fot the past year. then there's some sort of crypto slapfight between CZ and SBF and look at that volume explosion today

drk fucked around with this message at 04:53 on Nov 8, 2022

# ? Nov 8, 2022 04:37

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

https://twitter.com/LBRYcom/status/1589645453091827712?t=siLgE6ShZiHW5zZ1Zq_p0g&s=19

Lol apparently the case they lost might have broader implications for labeling other shitcoins as securies.

# ? Nov 8, 2022 13:52

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

There Bias Two posted:

https://twitter.com/LBRYcom/status/1589645453091827712?t=siLgE6ShZiHW5zZ1Zq_p0g&s=19

Lol apparently the case they lost might have broader implications for labeling other shitcoins as securies.

gently caress all the grifters.

# ? Nov 8, 2022 14:52

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:34

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

As the court's decision made clear, it wasn't even a close one, something every one who's even glanced at securities law in the last century would have told you.

# ? Nov 8, 2022 15:01

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