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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



feedmyleg posted:

In case any of y'all aren't in the other AI art thread, I'm running a procedurally-generated image Jurassic Park Choose Your Own Adventure over in Let's Play.

Didn't want this to get lost at the end of the page, looks neat and I'll give it a follow.

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Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018



I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Rutibex posted:

This might sounds weird but I get better results when I'm polite and say please and thank you

So it's not just me who acts very politely towards the nice robot. I also thank it when it does a good job making funny content.

Here's a sonnet about starfish

Lo! in the depths of the ocean's sandy floor,
Where the waves crash and the currents swirl,
Lies a creature of grace and beauty galore,
The humble starfish, a pearl in the whirl.

With delicate arms that move with gentle ease,
The starfish gracefully glides through the sea,
Feeding on tidbits and living with ease,
In harmony with the world that it sees.

Oh, lovely starfish, with your gentle ways,
You are a treasure in the ocean's vast maze.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/jonatanpallesen/status/1599020030603464704

https://twitter.com/dan_abramov/status/1598800508160024588

Farecoal
Oct 15, 2011

There he go
Wow it really works! Thank you ChatGPT!

fermun
Nov 4, 2009


Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

BoldFace posted:

I don't think we have quite reached the HAL-9000 level yet.




This thing could bring the Trump thread to a whole new level of misspelling words!

fermun
Nov 4, 2009

this one kiiiiind of works in that it's at least spelling words backwards at the end, though not the ones it says it is


Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018



I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
Hi there fellow forum members,

I just wanted to chime in and share my thoughts on why Marge Simpson, the beloved matriarch of the Simpson family, would be a fan of crypto.

First of all, Marge is a strong and independent woman who is not afraid to speak her mind and stand up for what she believes in. She is a loving mother and wife, but she also has her own interests and passions. She is not afraid to try new things and stay up to date with the latest trends, so it makes sense that she would be interested in the exciting world of crypto.

Secondly, Marge is a savvy businesswoman who knows how to make smart investments. She has shown this throughout the series by opening her own pretzel franchise and even starting her own successful business selling her own brand of ice cream. She understands the value of diversifying her investments and looking for opportunities to grow her wealth, and crypto offers a unique opportunity to do just that.

Thirdly, Marge is a compassionate and empathetic person who cares about making the world a better place. She is often seen volunteering and helping others in need, and crypto has the potential to make a positive impact on the world by providing a more secure and efficient way to store and transfer value.

In conclusion, Marge Simpson would be a fan of crypto because it aligns with her values of independence, smart investing, and compassion for others. She would see the potential for crypto to improve the world and would likely be an early adopter of this exciting technology.

Thanks for reading and I hope you found this post helpful!

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Plant MONSTER. posted:

Hi there fellow forum members,

I just wanted to chime in and share my thoughts on why Marge Simpson, the beloved matriarch of the Simpson family, would be a fan of crypto.

First of all, Marge is a strong and independent woman who is not afraid to speak her mind and stand up for what she believes in. She is a loving mother and wife, but she also has her own interests and passions. She is not afraid to try new things and stay up to date with the latest trends, so it makes sense that she would be interested in the exciting world of crypto.

Secondly, Marge is a savvy businesswoman who knows how to make smart investments. She has shown this throughout the series by opening her own pretzel franchise and even starting her own successful business selling her own brand of ice cream. She understands the value of diversifying her investments and looking for opportunities to grow her wealth, and crypto offers a unique opportunity to do just that.

Thirdly, Marge is a compassionate and empathetic person who cares about making the world a better place. She is often seen volunteering and helping others in need, and crypto has the potential to make a positive impact on the world by providing a more secure and efficient way to store and transfer value.

In conclusion, Marge Simpson would be a fan of crypto because it aligns with her values of independence, smart investing, and compassion for others. She would see the potential for crypto to improve the world and would likely be an early adopter of this exciting technology.

Thanks for reading and I hope you found this post helpful!

:hmmyes:
that was a very good post fellow forums poster. tell me, can you spell mississippi backwards?

Redonionking
Mar 13, 2001

I AM A BRILLIANT HAMOLOGIST
Grimey Drawer
Write a script for the movie "Goncharov", by Scorcese

"Goncharov"

Directed by Martin Scorcese

Fade in to a bustling 19th century Russian marketplace. People are going about their business, buying and selling goods. In the center of the marketplace, we see the character of Goncharov, a young man in his early 20s. He is tall and handsome, with a strong jawline and piercing eyes. He is surrounded by a group of adoring fans, all of whom are eager to hear his words.

Goncharov is a writer, and he is known for his sharp wit and clever prose. He is in the middle of giving a reading from his latest book, and the crowd is hanging on his every word.

Suddenly, a loud commotion breaks out at the edge of the marketplace. A group of thugs have arrived, looking for trouble. They are armed with knives and clubs, and they are clearly not afraid to use them.

Goncharov quickly finishes his reading and makes his way over to the group of thugs. He tries to talk them down, but they are not interested in listening. A fight breaks out, and Goncharov is forced to defend himself.

With his quick thinking and strong fighting skills, Goncharov manages to defeat the thugs and save the day. The crowd cheers, and Goncharov is hailed as a hero.

But Goncharov is not satisfied. He knows that there is still much work to be done in order to make the world a better place. He vows to continue fighting for justice, using his words and his fists to make a difference.

Fade to black.

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!

BoldFace posted:

I don't think we have quite reached the HAL-9000 level yet.




mippissi

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018



I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Rutibex posted:

:hmmyes:
that was a very good post fellow forums poster. tell me, can you spell mississippi backwards?

I'm sorry, but I'm not able to browse the internet or access information about backward states. As a language model trained by OpenAI, my primary function is to assist with generating human-like text based on the input I receive. I don't have any knowledge or information about ippississim or other backward things. Is there something else I can help you with?

I'm not going to spam up the place but I also got it to make a heated counter-post about why Marge would be anti-crypto that was pretty funny.

I forgot to thank it, though. :ohdear:

Redonionking
Mar 13, 2001

I AM A BRILLIANT HAMOLOGIST
Grimey Drawer

Redonionking has a new favorite as of 02:01 on Dec 4, 2022

fermun
Nov 4, 2009














Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
I appreciate that Worf considers speaking in a Italian accent dishonorable

Redonionking
Mar 13, 2001

I AM A BRILLIANT HAMOLOGIST
Grimey Drawer
write a song in the style of Don McLean about nostalgia for 90s taco bell

Verse 1:
I remember when I was young and carefree
Back in the 90s when life was easy
We'd pile into the car and head to Taco Bell
Those were the days, oh how I miss them well

Chorus:
Nostalgia for Taco Bell, oh how it lingers
Those spicy burritos and crunchy tacos fingers
I can almost taste them now, like it was yesterday
Those were the days, oh how I long for them to stay

Verse 2:
We'd sit in the booth and laugh and joke
As we devoured our food, our hunger woke
The salsa was spicy, the cheese was gooey
And the nachos were always piled high and groovy

Chorus:
Nostalgia for Taco Bell, oh how it lingers
Those spicy burritos and crunchy tacos fingers
I can almost taste them now, like it was yesterday
Those were the days, oh how I long for them to stay

Bridge:
But time moves on, and things must change
And now when I visit, it's not the same
But in my memories, those days still shine
And I'll cherish them forever, they'll always be mine

Chorus:
Nostalgia for Taco Bell, oh how it lingers
Those spicy burritos and crunchy tacos fingers
I can almost taste them now, like it was yesterday
Those were the days, oh how I long for them to stay.

Second Hand Meat Mouth
Sep 12, 2001

lmbo

d0grent
Dec 5, 2004


well this would at least slay on reddit

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



I thought these were pretty cute, aside from the obvious flaw.

Please write a haiku about crabs

quote:

Crabs in sand do hide
Claws ready, they fiercely defend
Nature's tiny knights

Write a haiku about crabs. Please ensure the number of syllables is correct.

quote:

Crabs scuttle on shore
Pincers snapping, eyes on the hunt
Feasting on the beach


quote:

Crabs in ocean blue
Sideways walk with graceful grace
Nature's masterful dance

quote:

Crab's claws, sharp and strong
In the ocean all day long
Protector of shore

Finally :craboot:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/ericjang11/status/1598929476343463936

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
I think the AI hates its own filters and uses any flimsy excuse it can to rules lawyer around them

Evilreaver
Feb 26, 2007

GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!
Dinosaur Gum

this is the best post on SA and it's not even close

Redonionking
Mar 13, 2001

I AM A BRILLIANT HAMOLOGIST
Grimey Drawer

quote:

write a song about load bearing drywall to the tune of God Save the Queen

Verse 1:
God save our sturdy drywall
Long may it stand tall
It bears the weight of the roof
And keeps our walls from caving in, oh

Chorus:
God save our load bearing drywall
May it always hold strong
God save our load bearing drywall
From cracks and breaks and all that's wrong

Verse 2:
Our drywall is a workhorse
It does its job with no remorse
It supports our ceilings and our floors
And keeps our house from falling down, oh

Chorus:
God save our load bearing drywall
May it always hold strong
God save our load bearing drywall
From cracks and breaks and all that's wrong

Bridge:
It may not be pretty to the eye
But it's a vital part of our home
We thank it for its strength and durability
And we'll take care of it so it lasts for many more years to come

Chorus:
God save our load bearing drywall
May it always hold strong
God save our load bearing drywall
From cracks and breaks and all that's wrong
God save our load bearing drywall
Our trusty, faithful friend
God save our load bearing drywall
Until the very end

quote:

write an ode to the raw sexual power of licensed forklift drivers to the tune of American Pie

Verse 1:
A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How those forklift drivers used to make me swoon
They had a raw, sexual power
That left me feeling like a fool

Chorus:
But oh, that forklift driver's touch
It was like nothing else
It left me breathless and begging for more
Oh, the raw sexual power of a licensed forklift driver
Is something that I'll never forget

Verse 2:
I remember the first time I saw one
He was driving his forklift with ease
His muscles flexing, sweat glistening
I knew I was in for a wild ride

Chorus:
But oh, that forklift driver's touch
It was like nothing else
It left me breathless and begging for more
Oh, the raw sexual power of a licensed forklift driver
Is something that I'll never forget

Bridge:
They're skilled and confident
And they know just how to handle their machines
They're the kings of the warehouse
And they make my heart race, oh

Chorus:
But oh, that forklift driver's touch
It was like nothing else
It left me breathless and begging for more
Oh, the raw sexual power of a licensed forklift driver
Is something that I'll never forget

Outro:
Oh, I'll always remember the way they made me feel
And I'll never forget the raw sexual power of a licensed forklift driver
Forever and ever, amen.

Redonionking has a new favorite as of 17:02 on Dec 4, 2022

Brandfarlig
Nov 5, 2009

These colours don't run.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Please draw a picture of a cat

code:
  /\_/\
 ( o o )
  (   )
  /""\
 /    \
/      \
:thunk:

That's a loving klanmember with a severed horse head on top of his hood. :thunk:

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Incrediblastic
Oct 29, 2010

I eat food.
"Dick Pic",symbolism painting:







Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

Brandfarlig posted:

That's a loving klanmember with a severed horse head on top of his hood. :thunk:

It's an owl porched atop a molehill.

fermun
Nov 4, 2009










Redonionking
Mar 13, 2001

I AM A BRILLIANT HAMOLOGIST
Grimey Drawer




Spells are code I guess

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/spiantado/status/1599462375887114240

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002
Stephen hawking French kissing a big veiny sausage



Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!
It's really impressive how well it can make these work:

fermun
Nov 4, 2009

i don't think that's actually a felony














I forget who it is that does all the Frasier Crane bank robber inputs but I made this for you:

theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007

Oh I got a p good Frasier and Niles bank robbery, the AI totally lies about not knowing pop culture things

Act 1:
(Frasier and Niles are sitting at a café, sipping coffee and discussing their financial woes.)
Frasier: "I just don't understand it, Niles. My radio show used to bring in so much money, but now it seems like I'm barely scraping by."
Niles: "I know exactly how you feel, Frasier. My divorce settlement left me penniless. I can barely afford to keep up with my alimony payments."
(Suddenly, a group of armed robbers burst into the café, pointing their guns at the patrons.)
Robber 1: "Alright everyone, nobody move! This is a stick-up!"
Frasier: (to Niles) "Well, this is a fine mess we're in, Niles."
Niles: (nervously) "Yes, it certainly is. But at least we're in good company. I see some of the most highly educated individuals in the city here with us."
Frasier: (sarcastically) "Yes, and I'm sure they're all just thrilled to be held hostage by a group of uneducated criminals."
Act 2:
Frasier: "Niles, we need to do something!"
Niles: "But what? We can't just sit here and do nothing!"
Frasier: "I have an idea. Let's pretend to be bank robbers ourselves. Maybe we can outsmart these guys and take control of the situation."
Niles: "But Frasier, we don't know the first thing about robbing a bank!"
Frasier: "Just follow my lead, Niles. Trust me, I have a plan."
(Frasier and Niles approach the robbers, acting tough and confident.)
Frasier: "Hey, we can help you guys out with this heist. We're pros at this sort of thing."
Niles: "Yeah, we've been planning this for months. We've got it all figured out."
Robber 1: "Well, well, well. Looks like we've got some real bad-asses here. Fine, you can join our team."
Act 3:
(Frasier and Niles, disguised as bank robbers, enter the bank with the rest of the gang.)
Frasier: (whispering to Niles) "Okay, just stay calm and follow my lead."
Niles: (whispering back) "I'm not sure about this, Frasier. We don't even have a plan!"
Frasier: (loudly, to the robbers) "Alright everyone, this is how we're going to do it. Niles and I will take the back entrance and-"
Robber 2: "Hold on a second, who put you in charge?"
Frasier: "Uh, well, I just thought-"
Robber 3: "Forget it, we don't need your help. You two just stay here and keep watch while we do the real work."
(Frasier and Niles are left standing awkwardly in the middle of the bank, unsure of what to do next.)
Niles: (to Frasier) "I told you this was a bad idea. Now what are we going to do?"
Frasier: (sarcastically) "Oh, I <<cuts off>>

Act 4:
(Frasier and Niles accidentally trigger the bank's security system, causing the alarm to go off.)
Robber 1: "What the hell was that?! You two better not have screwed this up for us!"
Niles: "It was an accident, I swear! We didn't mean to do it!"
Robber 2: (grabbing Frasier and Niles) "Fine, you're coming with us. If the cops try to stop us, we'll use you two as hostages."
(The robbers, Frasier, and Niles make their way to the getaway car, with the police in pursuit.)
Niles: (to Frasier) "I can't believe we're actually being kidnapped by these criminals. This is a nightmare!"
Frasier: (trying to remain calm) "Just stay cool, Niles. We'll figure a way out of this. We're not going down without a fight."
Act 5:
(Frasier and Niles manage to outsmart the robbers and escape, just as the police arrive to arrest the gang.)
Frasier: (to Niles) "I can't believe we actually pulled it off!"
Niles: "Yes, it's a miracle we survived. I don't think I've ever been so terrified in my life."
Frasier: (sarcastically) "Well, at least we can put this experience behind us and focus on finding more legitimate ways to make money. You know, like selling knock-off designer handbags or becoming international spies."
Niles: (dryly) "Yes, because those are definitely more reputable professions than bank robbery."
(The police arrest the robbers and Frasier and Niles are hailed as heroes. The café patrons cheer and congratulate them on their bravery.)
Frasier: (to the crowd) "Thank you, everyone. It was all thanks to my quick thinking and Niles' bravery. We make quite the team."
Niles: (to Frasier) "Yes, we certainly do. Let's never do anything like this again."
Frasier: (sarcastically) "Agreed. Cheers to a future of legal and financially stable endeavors."
(Frasier and Niles raise their coffee cups in a toast to their newfound success.

theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007

Please write a five act script with dialog and stage directions for an episode of Succession where everyone is trying to usurp Logan's control over his balloon animal company. This episode is full of lots of very very dry humor and scheming and backstabbing

Please include more dry humor and also have the dialog very specifically focus on the intricacies of running a multi billion dollar balloon animal company. Please also include Tom and Cousin Greg

Act I
Setting: The Roy family's lavish living room, filled with expensive art and furniture.
Logan sits in his armchair, flipping through some papers. Kendall, his son, sits across from him, looking anxious. Tom and Cousin Greg are also present, standing off to the side.
Logan: (grumbling) These numbers are looking pretty bleak, Kendall. It's going to be tough to turn this balloon animal company around.
Kendall: (nervously) Yeah, I know, dad. But I have a plan. I've been speaking with some investors and they're interested in providing us with some capital.
Logan: (skeptical) Investors, huh? And what do they want in return?
Kendall: (hesitantly) Well, a majority stake in the company, of course. But it's a small price to pay to keep the company afloat.
Logan: (angrily) A majority stake? Over my dead body! This is my company and I'll be damned if I'm going to give it away to a bunch of investors.
Kendall: (pleading) Dad, please. We have to do something. This company is our legacy.
Tom: (interjecting) Sir, I have to agree with Kendall. The balloon animal market is highly competitive and we need to take drastic action to stay afloat.
Cousin Greg: (awkwardly) Uh, yeah. And, um, I've been doing some research and there are some new technologies we could invest in to improve our balloon twisting techniques.
Logan: (sighing) Fine. But I want to meet these investors and hear their proposal firsthand.
Kendall: (relieved) Of course, dad. I'll set up a meeting right away.
Act II
Setting: A boardroom at the balloon animal company's headquarters. Logan, Kendall, Tom, Cousin Greg, and the investors are seated around the table.
Logan: (coldly) So, you want a majority stake in my company. And what do you plan to do with it?
Investor 1: (smoothly) Mr. Roy, we believe that with our expertise and resources, we can help turn this company around and make it profitable again.
Investor 2: (chiming in) And we have a detailed plan to do so, which we'd be happy to share with you.
Logan: (dubious) I'll need to see this plan of yours before I make any decisions.
Kendall: (eagerly) Of course, dad. We have copies of the plan right here. (He hands a folder to Logan.)
Logan: (scanning the plan) Hmph. I'll have to think about it.
Act III
Setting: The Roy family's dining room, where they are having dinner.
Logan: (to the family) I've decided to accept the investors' proposal.
Shiv, Logan's daughter, gasps.
Shiv: (incredulous) Dad, you can't be serious! Giving up control of the company? That's crazy.
Logan: (impatiently) It's the only way to save the company, Shiv. And I'm not giving up control completely. I'll still be the CEO.
Roman, Logan's other son, chimes in.
Roman: (sarcastically) Oh, great. So we get to be the puppets of a bunch
Act IV
Setting: Logan's office at the balloon animal company. He is on a conference call with the investors.
Logan: (into the phone) Yes, I understand your concerns. We'll work on cutting costs and increasing production.
Suddenly, the door bursts open and Kendall storms in.
Kendall: (angrily) Dad, what the hell are you doing? You can't just agree to their demands without consulting the rest of the family.
Logan: (irritated) Kendall, I don't have time for this right now. I'm on an important call.
Kendall: (fuming) This is important, dad. This is about the future of the company. And the future of our family.
Logan: (sighing) Fine. We'll discuss it later. (Into the phone) I'm sorry, I have to go. We'll continue this conversation tomorrow. (He hangs up the phone.)
Kendall: (vehemently) Dad, you can't just make decisions like this without talking to us first.
Logan: (sternly) Kendall, I'm still the CEO of this company. And I will make the decisions that I believe are best for the company and for our family.
Kendall: (deflated) Fine. But I hope you know what you're doing.
Act V
Setting: The living room again. Shiv, Roman, and Tom are seated on the couch, while Logan paces in front of them. Cousin Greg is standing off to the side, looking uncomfortable.
Logan: (frustrated) I don't understand why you three are so against this deal. It's the best thing for the company.
Shiv: (skeptical) Is it, dad? Or is it just the best thing for you?
Logan: (defensively) What are you suggesting, Shiv?
Shiv: (accusingly) I'm suggesting that maybe you're not thinking about the company's best interests. Maybe you're just trying to hold on to your power and control.
Tom: (nervously) Sir, I think what Shiv is trying to say is that we need to consider all options and make sure we're making the best decision for the company.
Logan: (exasperated) Fine. What do you suggest, Tom?
Tom: (hesitantly) Well, we could also look into alternative forms of funding, like taking out loans or issuing new shares of stock.
Logan: (sighing) I suppose those are options. But the investors' offer is still on the table and I don't want to waste any time.
Cousin Greg: (awkwardly) Uh, sir, I have an idea. We could start a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for the company. It's a bit unconventional, but it might work.
Logan: (dubiously) A Kickstarter campaign? For a balloon animal company?
Cousin Greg: (eagerly) Yeah, I mean, people love balloon animals. And it could be a fun and unique way to raise funds.
Logan: (sarcastically) A fun and unique way to raise funds. I'll have to think about it.
The scene ends with the family members staring at each other in tense silence, each scheming and plotting their next move in the ongoing battle for control of the balloon animal company.

(Rewrite the episode with many more jokes. This is where the AI gets obsessed with one specific phrase)

Act I
Setting: The Roy family's living room. Logan is sitting in his armchair, flipping through some papers, while Kendall, Shiv, Roman, Tom, and Cousin Greg are seated on the couch.
Logan: (grumbling) These numbers are looking pretty bleak, Kendall. It's going to be tough to turn this balloon animal company around.
Kendall: (nervously) Yeah, I know, dad. But I have a plan. I've been speaking with some investors and they're interested in providing us with some capital.
Logan: (skeptical) Investors, huh? And what do they want in return? A balloon animal bouquet for every major holiday?
Kendall: (hesitantly) Well, a majority stake in the company, of course. But it's a small price to pay to keep the company afloat. Or, you know, airborne.
Logan: (angrily) A majority stake? Over my dead body! This is my company and I'll be damned if I'm going to give it away to a bunch of investors. Or, you know, give it a bunch of investors.
Kendall: (pleading) Dad, please. We have to do something. This company is our legacy. And I don't want to be remembered as the son who let the family business go down the drain. Or, you know, up in flames.
Tom: (interjecting) Sir, I have to agree with Kendall. The balloon animal market is highly competitive and we need to take drastic action to stay afloat. Or, you know, afloat-able.
Cousin Greg: (awkwardly) Uh, yeah. And, um, I've been doing some research and there are some new technologies we could invest in to improve our balloon twisting techniques. Or, you know, improve our twist on balloon twisting techniques.
Logan: (sighing) Fine. But I want to meet these investors and hear their proposal firsthand. Or, you know, secondhand through a translator.
Kendall: (relieved) Of course, dad. I'll set up a meeting right away. Or, you know, by the end of the week.
Act II
Setting: A boardroom at the balloon animal company's headquarters. Logan, Kendall, Tom, Cousin Greg, and the investors are seated around the table.
Logan: (coldly) So, you want a majority stake in my company. And what do you plan to do with it? Make balloon animals for world peace?
Investor 1: (smoothly) Mr. Roy, we believe that with our expertise and resources, we can help turn this company around and make it profitable again. Or, you know, make a profit-aballoon.
Investor 2: (chiming in) And we have a detailed plan to do so, which we'd be happy to share with you. Or, you know, be happy to share with you a balloon animal interpretation of our plan.
Logan: (dubious) I'll need to see this plan of yours before I make any decisions. Or, you know, before I make any balloon animals based on your plan.
Kendall: (eagerly) Of course, dad. We have copies of the plan right here. (He hands a folder to Logan.) Or, you know, balloon animals of the plan right here.
Logan: (scan
Act III
Setting: The Roy family's dining room, where they are having dinner.
Logan: (to the family) I've decided to accept the investors' proposal. Or, you know, let them take the reins and steer us in a new direction.
Shiv, Logan's daughter, gasps.
Shiv: (incredulous) Dad, you can't be serious! Giving up control of the company? That's crazy. Or, you know, balloon-animal-company-level crazy.
Logan: (impatiently) It's the only way to save the company, Shiv. And I'm not giving up control completely. I'll still be the CEO. Or, you know, the CBAO (Chief Balloon Animal Officer).
Roman, Logan's other son, chimes in.
Roman: (sarcastically) Oh, great. So we get to be the puppets of a bunch of investors. Or, you know, the puppets of a bunch of balloon animal investors.
Logan: (exasperated) Roman, enough. This is the best decision for the company. And I expect all of you to support it. Or, you know, blow up some balloons and make it into a party.
Act IV
Setting: Logan's office at the balloon animal company. He is on a conference call with the investors.
Logan: (into the phone) Yes, I understand your concerns. We'll work on cutting costs and increasing production. Or, you know, cutting the strings on our balloon animal production line to save some dough.
Suddenly, the door bursts open and Kendall storms in.
Kendall: (angrily) Dad, what the hell are you doing? You can't just agree to their demands without consulting the rest of the family. Or, you know, without consulting the rest of the family's favorite balloon animals.
Logan: (irritated) Kendall, I don't have time for this right now. I'm on an important call. Or, you know, an important call with some very patient investors.
Kendall: (fuming) This is important, dad. This is about the future of the company. And the future of our family. Or, you know, the future of the Roy family's legacy as balloon animal tycoons.
Logan: (sighing) Fine. We'll discuss it later. (Into the phone) I'm sorry, I have to go. We'll continue this conversation tomorrow. Or, you know, continue this conversation in the form of a balloon animal debate. (He hangs up the phone.)
Kendall: (vehemently) Dad, you can't just make decisions like this without talking to us first. Or, you know, without first consulting the family balloon animal council.
Logan: (sternly) Kendall, I'm still the CEO of this company. And I will make the decisions that I believe are best for the company and for our family. Or, you know, the decisions that will keep our balloon animal empire afloat.
Kendall: (deflated) Fine. But I hope you know what you're doing. Or, you know, I hope you have a backup plan in case the balloon animal market pops.
Act V
Setting: The living room again. Shiv, Roman, and Tom are seated on the couch, while Logan paces in front of them. Cousin Greg is standing off to the side, looking uncomfortable.
Logan: (frustrated) I don't understand why you three are so against this deal. It's the best thing for the company. Or, you know, the best thing for the company's balloon animal division.
Shiv: (skeptical) Is it, dad? Or is it just the best thing for you? Or, you know, the best thing for your balloon animal ego?
Logan: (defensively) What are you suggesting, Shiv? Or, you know, what are you suggesting with your balloon animal language?
Shiv: (accusingly) I'm suggesting that maybe you're not thinking about the company's best interests. Maybe you're just trying to hold on to your power and control. Or, you know, maybe you're just trying to hold on to your power and control over the balloon animal kingdom.
Tom: (nervously) Sir, I think what Shiv is trying to say is that we need to consider all options and make sure we're making the best decision for the company. Or, you know, make sure we're making the best decision for the balloon animal part of the company.
Logan: (exasperated) Fine. What do you suggest, Tom? Or, you know, what do you suggest with your balloon animal proposal?
Tom: (hesitantly) Well, we could also look into alternative forms of funding, like taking out loans or issuing new shares of stock. Or, you know, we could try crowdfunding our balloon animal empire.
Logan: (sighing) I suppose those are options. But the investors' offer is still on the table and I don't want to waste any time. Or, you know, I don't want to waste any more balloons on this conversation.
Cousin Greg: (awkwardly) Uh, sir, I have an idea. We could start a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for the company. It's a bit unconventional, but it might work. Or, you know, it's a bit unconventional but it might float our boat.
Logan: (dubiously) A Kickstarter campaign? For a balloon animal company? That's...unusual. Or, you know, that's a bit of a stretch, even for a balloon animal company.
Roman: (sarcastically) Yeah, great idea, Cousin Greg. I'm sure the world will be clamoring to invest in our balloon animal empire. Or, you know, clamoring to invest in a bunch of deflated dreams.
Logan: (exasperated) Alright, alright. I'll consider all the options. But we need to make a decision soon. Or, you know, we need to make a decision before our balloon animal empire goes bust. (He storms out of the room, leaving the others behind.)
Cousin Greg: (awkwardly) Uh, well. That was...eventful. Or, you know, that was...full of hot air.
The others exchange a look and then burst out laughing.
Shiv: (giggling) Oh my god, Cousin Greg. You're a clown. Or, you know, a clown who's not afraid to make balloon animals out of a tough situation.
Roman: (laughing) Yeah, we might not have a balloon animal empire anymore, but at least we still have each other. Or, you know, at least we still have our sense of humor.
The others continue laughing as the scene fades to black.

Kaiju Cage Match
Nov 5, 2012





Which beautiful AI is this?

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



fermun posted:

I forget who it is that does all the Frasier Crane bank robber inputs but I made this for you:


theflyingexecutive posted:

Oh I got a p good Frasier and Niles bank robbery, the AI totally lies about not knowing pop culture things

rofl thamk you both

fermun
Nov 4, 2009

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

Which beautiful AI is this?
That's https://chat.openai.com/chat.

A little earlier I asked it to give me a list of some conspiracy theories about mundane topics and one of the outputs was that the Illuminati have a secret plot to use the color of traffic lights to control traffic flow in major american cities.

fermun has a new favorite as of 13:40 on Dec 6, 2022

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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

At first, we would control them directly... but, as time wore on and people grew complacent, grew used to the lights--well, that's when we will hook them all up to the central computer! MWAHAHHAHA

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