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FYI Clayface gas is literally just radon.
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Jun 4, 2022 10:25
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 16:29 |
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Splicer posted:FYI Clayface gas is literally just radon. Condiment King uses mustard gas... At least the canisters are the lightest out of all the types of villain gases I've had to unload. One time us goons overheard the boss talking with his supplier asking about "boat gas", it sounded like the boss was ordering "butt gas" and we all started laughing like hyenas. Turns out one of the idiots punched a hole in a really old rusted joker gas canisters sitting in the back of the warehouse and it had been leaking for days. Most of us had built up a tolerance thankfully, boss was none too happy though.
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Jun 5, 2022 06:27
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“I wuz down at the docks in the abandoned warehouse,the one with the boxes and skylights you know da one,then all of a sudden superman bursts through the wall,so knuckles starts blastin right? Then Batman jumped through the skylight,i know right?? Like since when did he start doing that? Anyway as soon as knuckles saw bats he threw the gun down and assumed the position”. “Superman might melt you or throw you into space but Batman? Yeesh he scares me”…
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Jun 5, 2022 13:31
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Just a tip I learnt from the old timers. You can shoot at Superman a few times, he kinda thinks it’s funny. Makes you look good in front of the boss. But you see the Bat? Just drop your gun and pretend it ain’t yers.
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Jun 5, 2022 15:53
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Couple more superman tips: Don't be the first guy to shoot. The first guy to shoot's gonna get the metal bar armcuffs but after the first few ricochets it's like he stops caring. Once you're in the free for all stage go straight for the eyes. He really likes the whole getting shot in the eye and not flinching thing. Sometimes he'll even move to help line your shot up better. If you're there with a gang some good eyeball shot showboating might buy you time to slip out the back door. Whatever you do DO NOT throw your gun at him. That starts a whole setpiece deal that really ups the odds of the metal bar thing and by the time the cops get that cut off you you're gonna to have some nerve damage.
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Jun 5, 2022 16:52
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If at all possible, try to fight him over a low bridge or near an open water tank. If you know how to swim you’ve got good odds on getting away Scott free. Do NOT engage Superman anywhere near a walled-in prison yard, unless you like getting dropped right in.
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Jun 5, 2022 16:59
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sure does seem like if supes wanted to eliminate all the crime in the country, he could, like in a week or two. makes you wonder who we're working for. like, it ain't knuckles galmincitti or big herb drigorski
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Jun 5, 2022 18:58
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Dat guy Bruce Wayne could do a lot more good for dis city than some wacko in a bat costume, ya know? Maybe use his billions of dollas to improve da school system so mugs like me don't fall into a life of petty crime. Anyway. Time for my monthly trip to da emergency room because I ain't got health insurance and da Bat broke my femurs again.
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Jun 5, 2022 20:43
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Youse guys talk too much. Now somebody come over here in the shadows under all these gargoyles and help me light my cigarette.
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Jun 5, 2022 23:01
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So I showed up for the gig, right? But no one told me they was only wanting sexy lady thugs for this robbery. But also they was shorthanded, so they took me anyways. I put on the heels and the bikini bottoms and the wig and the question mark bra. Then we went to some fancy party, made all the rich ladies give us their jewels, and write out a riddle for the bat on the ice sculpture. But you know, it felt good. Felt right. Like I didn't need a big muscly man to jump through a skylight and break my body for being wrong.
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Jun 5, 2022 23:23
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Hey Tommy, how come youse ain't never been pinched by da Bat? It's easy. I just do all my robbin' and killin' during the day. Ever since the 60s da Bat only ever comes out at a night.
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Jun 5, 2022 23:44
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So ams I allowed ta punch tha child in da greens and reds, or...? Looks, Ill do a nickel in da klink fer larceny an grands mischief but I aints goin in fer child abuses or nothin
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Jun 6, 2022 00:35
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Who What Now posted:So ams I allowed ta punch tha child in da greens and reds, or...? None of us are really keen to navigate that particular minefield, buddy. Kid's pretty scrappy, but odds are you'll get the drop on him at some point. It's fine to kick him a bit, but then it's best to, y'know, just tie him up but leave him generally unharmed and rescuable. S'not the perfect solution, but we're all in the same boat. Even the bosses do it that way. Well, most of the bosses. The Joker, he, uh, he goes real heavy sometimes, y'know?
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Jun 6, 2022 01:11
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man, why can't the doom patrol be the sworn defenders of gotham city. I don't think they cripple people for pleasure. one time I saw them, they were fighting a gorilla talkin' french. after the fight I lit the doom patrol lady's cigarette and she game me the nicest smile, I mean like one of those everything in the world is alright kinda smiles. good people is what I'm sayin', not like the sadistic psycho we got swoopin' through the dark
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Jun 6, 2022 01:26
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So’s I wuz thinkin. Batman has to be the guy giving Robin his outfit, right? And Batman dresses in all black and grey to hide better, right? So why’s he got this kid in neon colors? Is he usin’ him as a live-fire distraction? So’s he can sneak into position while the kid’s drawing fire? Whatta monster! Hey, just think about it! Anyway, I gotta take a leak. I’m gonna just wander off behind one of these creepy columns and take care of bidness. I know the boss said to stick together but c’mon, what are the odds the Bat’s up on one of those gargoyles? Admiralty Flag fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Jun 6, 2022 |
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Jun 6, 2022 19:49
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Bright neon red tight speedos, too. And they call us “criminals”?
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Jun 6, 2022 19:52
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Let me gets all philomisophical for a sec here... I think the bats just likes hurting people. He could have wiped us all off the map by now if he really wanted. I swear I saw him getting hard when he slowly broke every bone in Limpy's foot.
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Jun 6, 2022 20:22
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I don't get why republican man is sending us out to the pride parade to bust heads and raise hell. I mean, I realize he's a bastard, like it's his m.o., but isn't he, ya know, that way?
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Jun 12, 2022 01:15
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Da henchin community is overwhelmingly's ell gee bee tee and we's says "no supes at pride!"
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Jun 12, 2022 01:38
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The Voice of Labor posted:republican man Weird how da Bat never goes after this guy. Clowns? Scarecrows? Guys on steroids? Da Bat is all over those guys, but he never goes after this rear end in a top hat. Wonder if there's a financial incentive involved.
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Jun 12, 2022 02:43
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Hey boss, you ever think about NOT smiling? Maybe mix things up a bit? Kinda gettin old with the whole smiling ginmick
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Jun 12, 2022 02:53
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So back in my thug days we're fighting the bat in a warehouse (well I say fighting you know how it goes), anyway I look at the crane and see the bat is right under this huge box its carrying. Roscoe sees me looking and, ok the thing you need to know about Roscoe is he's the ambitious type, always looking for promotion, so he jumps into the cab and smashes the release and and I start running for the door because I know what's going to happen next and that's why I'm here typing while Roscoe uses text-to-speech in a special no teeth mode.
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Jun 13, 2022 20:40
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So lately I've been wearin my cat ears afta hours when I'm at home. Now I feel like I undastand da boss lady. I love bein a little kitty 
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Jun 13, 2022 21:34
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man, the bat just sunk to a new level, helpin' to coordinate gotham pd's less than lethal dispersion of all the roe v. wade protestors. they gassed the whole drat crowd, I'm pretty sure they broke that little girl with pink hair's leg when they were clubbin' on her and they tased o'mailey's granma into a heart attack. like I figured he had issues with women, but I think catwoman being there is what really set him off. I heard rumors she had the uh... procedure for a potential batbastard, claimed she wasn't gonna have the kid of a violent anally obsessed psycho sucking at any of her 8 nipples
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Jun 26, 2022 07:57
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Huh! What was that? Probably just the wind.
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Jun 26, 2022 08:40
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wanted: dependable villainous henchmen for upcoming lucrative criminal endeavor. apply unarmed in person at batcorp solutions llc 50 bat lane at the corner of justice way
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Dec 11, 2022 19:59
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The Voice of Labor posted:wanted: dependable villainous henchmen for upcoming lucrative criminal endeavor. apply unarmed in person at batcorp solutions llc 50 bat lane at the corner of justice way I'm not going to fall for such obvious bait. I'll apply for the Wayne Enterprises one.
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Dec 11, 2022 21:15
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poisonpill posted:Just a tip I learnt from the old timers. You can shoot at Superman a few times, he kinda thinks it’s funny. Makes you look good in front of the boss. But you see the Bat? Just drop your gun and pretend it ain’t yers. If the Bat and Superman are around at the same time, just kinda wait it out, it means some league poo poo is goin' down and they won't have time ta tie you up and stuff and if yer real lucky Wonder Woman might tie ya up. Although one time Mikey Two-Shoes got real unlucky and Zatanna and some English guy in a coat showed up and now he sees the devil everytime he looks in tha mirror. Mikey was a Catholic. Couldn't even go to his own ma's funeral, jesus christ.
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Dec 11, 2022 21:21
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heard bats is suing amazon over them producing the boys. heard he thinks tek night is a slanderous thing. heard he don't like that very much
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Dec 11, 2022 21:36
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Say weren't there five of us a moment ago?
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Dec 11, 2022 21:50
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FoolyCharged posted:Say weren't there five of us a moment ago?
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Dec 11, 2022 21:57
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(hears noise) All right, youse! Hold it right dere or I'll -- (sees it's Huntress and Power Girl, proceeds to get mulched due to "male gaze")
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Dec 11, 2022 22:13
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Good news is, hitting the Stairmaster has paid off and I've lost a lot of weight. Bad news is, now we gotta rename the Two-Ton Gang. Sorry, fellas.
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Dec 11, 2022 22:19
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I worked for Stairmaster once. Stand up guy.
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Dec 11, 2022 22:33
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Animal-Mother posted:Good news is, hitting the Stairmaster has paid off and I've lost a lot of weight. Bad news is, now we gotta rename the Two-Ton Gang. Sorry, fellas. Don't worry pal, I tried one of those joker brand pies and now I can't stop eatings them, I gots tons enough for the both of us.
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Dec 11, 2022 22:46
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Animal-Mother posted:Good news is, hitting the Stairmaster has paid off and I've lost a lot of weight. Bad news is, now we gotta rename the Two-Ton Gang. Sorry, fellas. I worked for Stairmaster back in '06! Last I hoid, Harley Quinn dropped him down an elevator shaft.
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Dec 11, 2022 23:05
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Remember when he got really offended by that Mitch Hedberg joke?
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Dec 11, 2022 23:16
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Who threw dis thread into da Lazarus Pit? Boss ain't gonna be happy.
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Dec 11, 2022 23:23
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Animal-Mother posted:Dat guy Bruce Wayne could do a lot more good for dis city than some wacko in a bat costume, ya know? Maybe use his billions of dollas to improve da school system so mugs like me don't fall into a life of petty crime.
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Dec 11, 2022 23:26
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 16:29 |
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So you's telling me da boss name Killer Croc? That like his street name? ...a talking alligator!?
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Dec 11, 2022 23:33
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