r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

limp_cheese posted:

The way he describes the relationship himself screams "emotional affair".

He literally says its that. She just wants to dismiss his own words with "he's neurodivergent and can't possibly mean it!"

# ? Dec 13, 2022 22:53

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:50

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

tater_salad posted:

My I'm not a racist shirt is making people ask a lot of questions answered by my shirt. AITA

Would a racist know both types of Lebanese - muslim and bellydancer??

haveblue posted:

More or less lit than the girl who assigned reception seats by Hogwarts house and split up a bunch of couples in the process?

Please repost this, it sounds amazing.

# ? Dec 13, 2022 22:53

Dr. Video Games 0135: May 20, 2003; That's gonna be a zoinks from me, Scoob

Solkanar512 posted:

AITA for asking my husband to pay for our sons college with his daughters fund?

quote:

(36f) (57m)

I explained that while I love Grace, she isn�t very academically inclined. Average GPA, no extra curricular�s and has even said that she�s going to the community college close by for the first 2 years.

we met 3 years ago, 7 months after his divorce.

my son deserves that money

I can't help but think I may have caused it

We will help Grace pay off any loans she may have to get as soon as we are able and then start a new fund for our baby

my son can go to his dream school

Just cycling through the Vince McMahon faces with every new banger

Grace told us to �screw ourselves� :hmmyes:

# ? Dec 13, 2022 22:55

JosephSkunk: Dec 16, 2003; Yes, evidently you had misperceived it as rain.

FMguru posted:

This story is most notable for the incredibly escalatory power move reaction one of the characters pulls

AITA For Not Allowing my Sisters To Come Spend Christmas With Me And My Family?

The world's pettiest Dad award

# ? Dec 13, 2022 23:16

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

All these paternity fuckups need a Yondu meme.

That dad though. My mistress would never cheat on me!

# ? Dec 13, 2022 23:49

Funktastic: Jul 23, 2013

Larry Cum Free posted:

Would a racist know both types of Lebanese - muslim and bellydancer??

Please repost this, it sounds amazing.

AITA for grouping guests at my wedding by Harry Potter houses?

quote:

I actually got married in Feb, but for some reason people are still upset over this. My husband and I are very into Harry Potter. I am a proud Ravenclaw, he�s a Hufflepuff, so let me start by saying I don�t believe any Harry Potter house is �bad.�

We had a Harry Potter theme wedding. It was small (65 people) so we were close enough with everyone to reasonably know where they�d be at Hogwarts. This was NOT �Jane is a jerk therefore she�s a Slytherin.� We thought long and hard about this and even had a few fights (which I naturally won with logic due to being a Ravenclaw lol)

Anyway, guests were assigned seats based on their Hogwarts houses. We thought this would be fun. Yes. Couples were separated, but only for dinner. We didn�t sort the children because I feel like all children lean Slytherin for a while and you see very few Ravenclaw toddlers tbh it just wasn�t worth doing.

Shockingly though the adults were...offended? Nearly every Slytherin was mad because their asses just think it means �bad guys� and forget to realize that Lenin was a Slytherin, it�s for sure NOT an insult! Even the people who read Harry Potter wanted to argue over how they should have been Gryffindor.

I obviously wouldn�t do it again if I knew everyone would be so mad, but since I was the bride I really didn�t see the big deal? Even if you disagree that you�re a Hufflepuff (not surprisingly tho, they were the most docile) is it so bad to be one for...a day??

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# ? Dec 13, 2022 23:57

Paper Tiger: Jun 17, 2007; 🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

Funktastic posted:

AITA for grouping guests at my wedding by Harry Potter houses?

r/relationships: you see very few Ravenclaw toddlers

e: or,

r/relationships: all children lean Slytherin for a while

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:20

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Paper Tiger posted:

r/relationships: you see very few Ravenclaw toddlers

e: or,

r/relationships: all children lean Slytherin for a while

I�m going to immediately shoot this down, hard no

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:24

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

teen witch posted:

I�m going to immediately shoot this down, hard no

That's a very Hufflepuff thing to say, TW.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:29

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

did you forget to realize that Lenin was a Slytherin

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:30

atomicdream: Oct 4, 2017; shaking my money maker to fund my crippling glamour addiction.

r/relationships: Lenin was a Slytherin

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:30

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

FMguru posted:

That's a very Hufflepuff thing to say, TW.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:31

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Funktastic posted:

AITA for grouping guests at my wedding by Harry Potter houses?

"It's okay to put people into the reject house, my hubby is a reject"

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:36

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

There was a bog standard Am I the Transphobe post (about asking someone who had visible top surgery scars to not take their shirt off in the hot tub) but it was this comment that was the real wtf:

quote:

I had unplanned surgery on my knee to repair damage from a fall snow skiing.

Friends and I were out dancing and drinking, still in a cast with crutches, and a woman told me it was disgusting to be dancing in my condition.

At a grocery store, still in a cast with crutches, and a kid was staring at me so I smiled and winked at the kid. The mother grabbed up the kid and told me I should not be in public in my condition and then told the kid we don't talk to people with crutches.

So yes these people are everywhere.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:44

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Someone will get drunk enough to poo poo in the sorting hat.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:45

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

teen witch posted:

I�m going to immediately shoot this down, hard no

Hufflepilled post tbh

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:55

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Someone will get drunk enough to poo poo in the sorting hat.

What house does this get the next guy put in

# ? Dec 14, 2022 00:59

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

FMguru posted:

This story is most notable for the incredibly escalatory power move reaction one of the characters pulls

AITA For Not Allowing my Sisters To Come Spend Christmas With Me And My Family?

I would not want OP's dad to have a role in my child's life as a grandfather.

How long until the kid says "I love you grandpa" to the other grandpa and OP's dad responds by telling the kid "no one will ever love you" and burning the house down

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:08

The Bee: Nov 25, 2012; Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

haveblue posted:

What house does this get the next guy put in

The outhouse :haw:

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:10

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

haveblue posted:

What house does this get the next guy put in

the harry potter themed wedding attender house

e: gently caress, beaten

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:18

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Funktastic posted:

AITA for grouping guests at my wedding by Harry Potter houses?

Ban all weddings imo

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:19

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

Husband bought me a sewing machine and then gave me a bunch of expensive clothes that he wants altered

quote:

So as an early Christmas gift this year my husband bought me a very expensive sewing machine. I was thrilled and excited because ive been wanting to try sewing on a machine for a while now.

Well a few days later a package came with five pairs of designer brand men's pants off of eBay. No returns and they are not his size. My husband wants me to alter the pants for him.

I've only been sewing on the machine for three days. And I told him I don't know how to alter the pants and I'm going to ruin them if I try (they are not returnable, and cost quite a bit of money). So he said "well, you don't have to do them right away, watch some YouTube tutorials and get used to the machine. Just get around to it whenever you can."

Honestly I don't want to alter these pants. And now my gift is causing me major stress and I don't know how to go about telling him that I'm probably not gonna get around to it for a solid few years. But if I don't try to alter them, we have a bin of designer pants that can't be returned and don't fit him. Somehow I feel guilty that he bought me such an expensive gift with certain expectations and I can't do what he wants.

Yes I feel stupid for asking for advice on here instead of just talking to him.... But I sincerely want an outside opinion first. Also I'm pmsing right now so I don't know if I'm just having anxiety because of hormones or whatever.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:20

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Propaniac posted:

Husband bought me a sewing machine and then gave me a bunch of expensive clothes that he wants altered

Sew his dick to his thigh

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:24

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Sew his dick to his thigh

but be sure to use a seam ripper

not on the pants

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:24

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for not wanting to help my best friend find my ex�s brother after he left the country to avoid her and their baby?

quote:

My ex�s brother had an affair with my best friend, Emma, for over a year. Once he found out she was pregnant he left the country with his wife and children.

Emma is struggling and has been desperately trying to find him so she can make him support their baby but hasn�t had any luck so far. She asked me if I knew where he was and asked me to find out from my ex. I don�t know where he is but I refused to ask my ex which is causing conflict between us.

She keeps begging me to ask because she thinks I can convince my ex to tell me. I think I could, too, but I share a toddler with him and I don�t want to fight with him and his family again because the last time was bad enough. Emma and our friends keep mentioning how I owe their family no loyalty and that Emma�s been supporting me since things soured with my ex so I owed it to her to help her now in any way I can like she did for me. I really don�t want things to go back to how they were with my ex and I feel like they will if I help her.

Emma and a few friends are refusing to speak to me until I agree to help. I don�t know if I should so AITA?

That's one way to nope outta being a dad.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:28

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

Mx. posted:

My (26m) gf (27f) wanted to be Poly till I brought breakup

Over like twenty pages back, but this hit me hard. My last ex did this exact thing to me, and in the end she slept with two of my then best friends(no contact to any of them since) after we had "agreed" with monogamy. I had a mental breakdown after that and lost trust in people for years.

Nothing wrong with being a poly, as long as you and your partner(s) are on the same page. If you are a poly and you have a thing going with a mono, do you both a favour and :sever:

immediately, because it won't work. Cheaters will always get caught in the end, and the resulting fallout usually gets bad for everyone involved. Also don't think you can "convert" any monogamist to pologamy. That's almost as ignorant as trying to convert someone's sexuality.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 01:53

PiratePrentice: Oct 29, 2022; by Hand Knit

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not wanting to help my best friend find my ex�s brother after he left the country to avoid her and their baby?

That's one way to nope outta being a dad.

lmao

why do people think that when they get pregnant in an affair that the person they're cheating with is suddenly going to settle down with them and raise a family or whatever?

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:10

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

People ignoring the wisdom of 90s R&B star Ginuwine, smdh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8plaDk7M94

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:22

Barudak: May 7, 2007

PiratePrentice posted:

lmao

why do people think that when they get pregnant in an affair that the person they're cheating with is suddenly going to settle down with them and raise a family or whatever?

Well they look at the stat that many husbands leave their wives for the affair partner without realizing that includes an outlier who is doing it thousands of times, Newt Gingrich

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:27

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

WIBTA if I let my mom get arrested?

quote:

I got a text from my mom last night saying she was shopping at my workplace and didn�t have enough money, so she told them she�d be back with me so she could use my discount. We are not allowed to share our discount with family or friends like that and I do not break rules like that, and she and I are not close, haven�t been in years.

I walked in to work and was confronted by security because �some woman was in here filling a cart and claimed to be your mom, she�s done this a bunch of times and always runs out with the cart without paying.� They show me a picture, yep, that�s my mom. They asked me not to warn her because they�ve been building a case for a few weeks and want to arrest her.

If she hadn�t said I was her kid they wouldn�t have anything to go on, but now they�re checking I don�t steal, share my discount, etc. I�m not worried about that, I have never done anything like that, but I�ve been there for years and now their trust in me is shaken, and for a fair reason.

I could have lost my job, and I know workplace rumors spread faster than wildfire. Would I be the rear end in a top hat if I don�t warn her that she�ll be arrested next time she�s in?

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:34

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

poo poo, I'd call the cops myself.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:36

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not wanting to help my best friend find my ex�s brother after he left the country to avoid her and their baby?
Emma is struggling and has been desperately trying to find him so she can make him support their baby but hasn�t had any luck so far.

Not really sure how this would work even if Emma did get the info. I know there's extradition treaties for major crimes like murder or the like, but does that apply to child support? Is the plan to try to blackmail him maybe? Or is this just dumb wish-casting that she'll be able to talk him into a sudden change of heart?

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:42

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

poo poo, I'd call the cops myself.

Honestly, this. 420 shoplift erryday because gently caress corporations and all that, but the line gets drawn when you start involving other people in it like Mom here just tried to.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:47

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for trying to get my daughter to come back

quote:

Me (40f) and my ex (42m) split up a few years ago. When my ex moved back to Europe my daughter (19F) was heartbroken.

I�ve looked after her all on my own for years ever since he up and left. My daughter was always focused on her grades in school so never payed attention to my relationships since the break up.

My daughter always helped me with my son (9m) since he was born, he is my current boyfriends child. My daughter has never got along with my boyfriend, they constantly fight with each other, I just put it down to her being a teenager. I know she still talked with her father but I never intervened on their conversations.

However, once she turned 18 I had a huge birthday surprise planned for her with my boyfriends help. I went to wake her up that morning as she was never a morning person but she wasn�t there. I started to freak out and began calling her non stop. She never answered, I noticed her documents were missing from the family safe and started freaking out.

I contacted my ex and all he said was that my daughter was on her way over to him. I did get angry at him asking him what he told my daughter in order for her to leave without notice.

He just told me that he told her the truth. I kept questioning him but he never answered after that.

My daughter did text me telling me to never speak to her again after she landed. I asked her what she was talking about, she told me that I already knew the reason why.

I kept begging her to come back and that she made a mistake. That her father was lying to her and the fact I raised her on my own for years without his help. She never responded to my texts.

I follow her on social media and have seen her new posts with her father, they all include some petty caption of how he�s been the only one there for her through thick and thin.

She still won�t speak to me and I just want her back.

Fly free, fly far.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:50

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Barudak posted:

Well they look at the stat that many husbands leave their wives for the affair partner without realizing that includes an outlier who is doing it thousands of times, Newt Gingrich

Affairs Goergrich is an outlier and should be ignored

# ? Dec 14, 2022 02:52

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for trying to get my daughter to come back

Fly free, fly far.

I wonder what 'the truth' was.

I'm assuming that mom cheated and her boyfriend was her affair partner, and one of the things dad said was I love you but couldn't care for you with your mom banging my best friend and seeing him at the house when I went to pick you up. You will be a priority in my life and sure you can comeive with me

Is probably close to it.

Edir: looked at the comments... Yuuuup

He manipulated her into thinking I cheated

She only had to watch her brother when my bf and I were at work

She never had a job so it was her responsibility to take care of him

Etc etc etc

tater_salad fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Dec 14, 2022

# ? Dec 14, 2022 03:03

Cerekk: Sep 24, 2004; Oh my god, JC!

Paper Tiger posted:

r/relationships: you see very few Ravenclaw toddlers

e: or,

r/relationships: all children lean Slytherin for a while

You can't sort children, which you would know if you were a fan of the books where all the characters being sorted are nine years old.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 03:13

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

Don't they also make it clear you can pick your own house if you think the hat hosed up? I haven't watched the movies in a long time, and never read the books, But doesn't Harry pick his own house?

# ? Dec 14, 2022 03:19

atomicdream: Oct 4, 2017; shaking my money maker to fund my crippling glamour addiction.

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Don't they also make it clear you can pick your own house if you think the hat hosed up? I haven't watched the movies in a long time, and never read the books, But doesn't Harry pick his own house?

Sort of. He mostly just says, "No, not Slytherin" and had enough traits to get tossed into Gryffindor.

# ? Dec 14, 2022 03:22

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:50

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

IIRC Hermione makes the hat put her in Gryffindor

# ? Dec 14, 2022 03:24

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