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"mommy ate chips in bed!! It was a secret!"
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Dec 21, 2022 05:49
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| # ? May 28, 2024 23:31 |
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Lots of great advice for parent attachment and separation anxiety stuff. One extra thing for me is to repeatedly remind myself to not take it personally and act upon it. Easy to say, but harder to do. It helps me if I say, they are a toddler acting upon their immediate emotions. I am an adult capable of managing how I act when I feel emotions. I am feeling hurt and upset by their actions, which makes sense and is ok, so I will channel that into being productive or helpful in another way. I then proceed to take care of whatever other work, chore, kids, etc needs done. For moments when she's gone, I try to practice similar validation with him. Let him share how he feels and commiserate with him that I too am upset she is gone and that I miss her. I remind him that she always comes back. Then I sort of act like I had a sudden epiphany and say you know what sometimes works for me is to do (insert crimes here) to distract myself until she comes back. Which do you want to try, crime a or crime b? The hardest is when she has to do work from home in the evenings, or is sick and needs rest at home like in the original question. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but consistency and patience is my best advice. He just turned 4 and is still this way, so prepare yourself mentally for it but being a short phase.
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Dec 21, 2022 12:12
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This sounds familiar. In our case, my wife is the stricter, more consistent parent and in spite of facing an uphill battle with more tantrums and battles over getting ready on time/following directions/cleaning up after themselves/facing consequences/etc they definitely favor her. My guess is that it is the consistency that works in her favor (I'm working on this aspect myself). But yeah it can feel a little frustrating at times that I'm trying to be as empathetic as possible with my kids and yet they'll still be all "mommy mommy mommy" to my wife when she's around. And like some others my wife occasionally works from home and it is MUCH harder when she is physically around (but indisposed) than if she is out of the house. You tell each other you aren't going to have "strict parent/nice parent" dynamics but personalities have a way of acting like grooves in a dirt road in terms of your kids settling into.
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Dec 21, 2022 14:11
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What is your daycare’s policy on pinkeye? My son woke up yesterday with pinkeye in his right eye (he had it in the left eye last week ugh) so I called the daycare and let them know I was going to keep him home and start him on the eye drops he got for his other eye last week. To my surprise the daycare said he could come in yesterday, and the pinkeye is treated like a runny nose or cough where it alone isn’t enough to exclude a child but if it comes with other symptoms like a fever or if the kid is just miserable then they will need to be picked up. It really helped me out yesterday but I felt a little guilty sending him knowing that it could spread. Still he had a good day and his eye is already much better today with a full day of eye drops under his belt. Mind_Taker fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Dec 21, 2022 |
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Dec 21, 2022 15:35
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Our last daycare gave us pinkeye twice in one month. This daycare sent us a "very sorry" email about some kid having pink eye in one of our kids classrooms, but no actual pink eye! I loving love this place.
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Dec 21, 2022 15:46
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Mind_Taker posted:What is your daycare’s policy on pinkeye? Ours has the policy to keep them home until any swelling is gone, "there not a lot of pus anymore" and of course, the kid is feeling OK. It does tend to spread like wildfire though so I'm not sure that policy is the best.
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Dec 21, 2022 15:52
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Got over the flu last week and now I have a bad cold. Feeling lovely that the best I can do right now is snuggles and sesame street 
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Dec 21, 2022 15:54
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hallo spacedog posted:Got over the flu last week and now I have a bad cold. Feeling lovely that the best I can do right now is snuggles and sesame street This kicks rear end though. Keep kicking rear end!
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Dec 21, 2022 15:57
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External Organs posted:This kicks rear end though. Keep kicking rear end! Thanks  it's easy to get in your own head as a parent I think
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Dec 21, 2022 16:28
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Mind_Taker posted:What is your daycare’s policy on pinkeye? At our daycare we can send the child back after they have been on eyedrops for 24 hours.
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Dec 21, 2022 17:37
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Mind_Taker posted:What is your daycare’s policy on pinkeye? Our state has a big PDF table of common childhood diseases and "exclude" criteria https://ncchildcare.ncdhhs.gov/Portals/0/documents/pdf/C/Communicable_Diseases_and_Exclusion.pdf I'm not an epidemiologist but seems like pink eye is not excludable, probably because 1) it's super crazy contagious 2) by the time daycare spots it, they've given it to the whole class twice over This seems to be true for most things that don't cause a long fever The only reason why they wouldn't want you coming in is because dealing with a kid that has goo oozing out of their eyes/nose is really hard to deal with on top of other responsibilities. Once the oozing stops it's fine(ish), probably
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Dec 21, 2022 17:59
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Kiddo had a fever from Saturday - Monday so we kept him home from daycare. Highest temp I saw was 104, but ibuprofen brought it down. No other real symptoms, he chugged a bunch of applesauce and then threw up, but I think that was more from too much applesauce vs the flu. We were worried it was Covid because my wife tested positive but he tested negative. I had a fever two weeks ago and also tested negative, so maybe we just had 3 separate illnesses? Weird. Man I’m exhausted after everyone in the house being sick back to back. It would almost be preferable if we had gotten it simultaneously, now it’s been like a straight month of illness. On the topic of favorites chat - right now I’m the favorite parent as my wife works a more demanding job so I’m typically the one to take a sick day, hang out with him at night, or do extra pickups / drop offs. I also get one day off every two weeks that I typically use to hang out with him more. My wife takes it really hard. She complains to me about it, which just leaves me in a huge bind. It’s like I’m getting penalized for being an attentive father. I will back off a bit and let her take Point more but I’m really sick of her complaining to me about it. I would prefer she just ask “hey can I have more one on one time” or “can you hand me the kid” or something like that. She wants all three of us to hang out but then gets upset if he runs to me or only wants me to hold him. Not totally sure what to do, been talking to her and a therapist about it.
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Dec 21, 2022 18:58
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El Mero Mero posted:Agreed. Also, speaking as a Jewish person Christmas only feels secular/cultural because it's the default. If you're not raised in Christian culture it feels really really put upon you. This. nesbit37 posted:How do you handle the whole Santa thing with mixed faith families? My wife is Jewish and is adamant that we aren’t doing Santa with our kids. Our daughter is a little under 2 this year, so its not a problem right now, but for the holidays every year we go to my parents and celebrate Christmas with them and my sister and her 6 Santa believing kids. How are we going to keep the 3 year old next year from ruining it for the others? To a certain extent this depends on what you are going to do. I'd imagine "Christmas without Santa" when you're going to be spending it amongst "Christmas with Santa" folks is a tightrope. If you're just going to do Chanukah (or maybe even a Chanukah and Christmas combo) you just hype up 8 days of presents. The key though is that you cannot ever let the words "Santa isn't real" come out of your mouth. e: You can also ask your in-laws since they undoubtedly had this conversation with your wife when she was a kid.
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Dec 22, 2022 08:54
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Oh and happy Hannuka, it's say 4 or 5 right?
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Dec 22, 2022 14:02
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I almost hosed up Santa for my nephew this weekend. I was talking about how I didn’t know how to handle it with my toddler. Luckily, his older brother redirected me tho 
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Dec 22, 2022 16:26
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My wife wanted to do the Santa thing which is fine but I'll be happy whenever some kid at school eventually ruins it and we can proceed to no ethical consumption under capitalism. In the meantime I'm more worried about what a disaster this house will be once we add a new xmas' worth of toys in the mix. Gotta start sneaking out the old ones to make room. Unrelated to holidays but I took him to an Occupational Therapy assessment today which didn't really tell us anything his preschool teacher hadn't already, aside from the included vision test but we figured he'd need glasses eventually. He's way behind on fine motor skills for a 3.5yo but most of the stuff they suggest are things we do, but maybe not enough. Feel like it's my fault but I'm just gonna keep grinding away until one day he finally holds a writing utensil properly and shortly thereafter spends the rest of his life just typing on a keyboard or phone with completely illegible handwriting like his old man.
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Dec 22, 2022 19:32
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Survived a week long “vacation” at my moms house in Arizona with my 4 year old and 1.5 year old. We’re not going on vacation until the youngest is at least 4. Had a layover each way (traveling from Connecticut). The first flight each time was fine, but trying to get them to sleep on the next on was impossible. My mom is almost 80 so she can’t physically do much, so my wife and I were constantly “on” for the whole time during the day, trying to figure out activities to take them to. Her house is also 25 minutes from any civilization so every place we went to was at least 40 minutes away. Also my four year old was only happy while doing the activities and then threw a tantrum every time we had to leave or later in the day…absolutely nothing kept him happy. Luckily we got out a few nights for a later dinner, but most the time we came home our four year old refused to fall asleep, so we had to rush to get him down. The day we were leaving, my moms car threw a rod while I was driving with my kids, leaking oil everywhere on the road and stopping abruptly. Luckily my brothers kid was able to drive us to the airport. We got in to CT at midnight which I don’t recommend at all. My four year old decided he wanted to push one of our checked bags across the busy sidewalk in 25 degree weather and freaked the gently caress out when we told him no, so he yelled and cried for the 10 minute walk to the car garage. Finally got home at 1:15 am and had to rush to set up their hatches and their rooms, then put them to bed. We’re still adjusting to the 2 hour time difference. I was so happy to drop them off at preschool the next day around 10:30 just to go to the store and run some errands, but they four year old was pissed off the whole time. I think he’s just about back to normal now, but the next tantrum will likely be soon.
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Dec 22, 2022 22:02
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davebo posted:Gotta start sneaking out the old ones to make room. I have a 3.5 year old as well and had a lot of luck with the "we need to find some of our toys to give to kids who don't have many toys! " route. Also talked about how we need room for all the newwww toyyysss she's gonna get at Christmas, wow how exciting!! She made a pile of stuff that I'm gonna put in the basement for a few months in case of an "OMG I NEED MY FAVORITE TOY" moment but that was a few weeks ago and she hasn't mentioned anything.
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Dec 22, 2022 22:54
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davebo posted:In the meantime I'm more worried about what a disaster this house will be once we add a new xmas' worth of toys in the mix. Gotta start sneaking out the old ones to make room. Oh gently caress me I know right. The toys go into the garage when my kid's not looking, then they go from the garage to the garbage when my wife's not looking. I'm never going to get this garage under control at this rate.
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Dec 22, 2022 23:32
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The worst is how people will come out of nowhere to dump multi-piece plastic stuff on the kids then vanish again until next year. Writing my "thanks for nothing" cards already
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Dec 22, 2022 23:36
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I just had to clear a big trash bag worth of stuffies from my daughter’s room to make room for Christmas toys. I took all the Pokémon plushies she had brought up from my office, as well as most of the old toys that were mine as a kid and the secondhand ones my mom bought for her. I’m just keeping them in the basement for now. They can just be basement toys until she eventually brings them all up again. She does have favourites though. She’s become attached to some of my old Beanie Babies and a little plush bat. I leave her favourites in her room for her.
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Dec 22, 2022 23:48
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It’s so funny how out of all of the stuffies I’ve given my son so far, the only one he loves is the ratty old teddy bear that was my husband’s when he was a kid. And yeah, I have 2 bags full of old toys to take to donate. I can’t keep all of this stuff forever!
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Dec 23, 2022 00:10
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Brawnfire posted:The worst is how people will come out of nowhere to dump multi-piece plastic stuff on the kids then vanish again until next year. Writing my "thanks for nothing" cards already I still prefer this over "What should I get your kids for Christmas?". I stress enough about doing my own shopping, don't make me do yours as well!
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Dec 23, 2022 01:13
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davebo posted:In the meantime I'm more worried about what a disaster this house will be once we add a new xmas' worth of toys in the mix. Gotta start sneaking out the old ones to make room. Post-Christmas is the only time of year our daughter happily gives away her old stuff so you might not need to sneak them out. Say it's a chance for other kids to enjoy what she had and donate the gently caress out of them. Now if we can only break my mom out of her habit of thinking "if one thoughtful gift is perfect then a dumptruck full of cheap crap that isn't thoughtful at all is better". citybeatnik fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Dec 23, 2022 |
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Dec 23, 2022 01:54
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We definitely talk to our son (4yo) about getting rid of toys before we actually do it. We let him help. He knows that they're going to donation or to a friend's kid and he knows that by doing this, he is helping other people. We talk about how he's getting older and that means he might be too old for some of them; they would be more fun for someone else. I set aside everything that I think should go and then I allow him to look at the pile. If he says he wants to keep things, I give him a number of things he is allowed to keep. Like today I pulled off a lot of his board books. He said he wanted to keep some and I told him he could keep four. He chose three and said he was done. I do have to say that my kid is easy to talk to and is very verbal. So this might not work for everyone, but for us it's important to talk about these things so he's not surprised and so he understands that we're doing something that helps us as well as might be a kindness to others. Farquar posted:I still prefer this over "What should I get your kids for Christmas?". I stress enough about doing my own shopping, don't make me do yours as well! I wouldn't tell people exactly what to buy for my kid. But I let them know that he likes dinosaurs or building things or the color blue. And general information like that can lead them toward making their own decisions.
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Dec 23, 2022 02:02
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We got this empty bean bag type thing on Amazon that you can fill with stuffed animals and used that to turn them all into furniture. Seems comfy enough for a 50lb kid at least. Then they can always get their stuffed animals back out.
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Dec 23, 2022 02:31
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Genuus
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Dec 23, 2022 02:38
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Douche4Sale posted:We got this empty bean bag type thing on Amazon that you can fill with stuffed animals and used that to turn them all into furniture. Seems comfy enough for a 50lb kid at least. Then they can always get their stuffed animals back out. This is genius.
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Dec 23, 2022 03:00
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thunderdome winner
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Oh man, my mom would toss my old stuff and not tell me, then lie when confronted it caused problems between us for years. I'm still mad about it. Took me until my 20s to realize it was just because she was afraid of confrontation. I grew up wondering every time if something went missing my mom threw it away without telling me. Much better to talk it though if you can imo
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Dec 23, 2022 04:18
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My stepmom threw away my Soul Calibur II shirt without telling me, the one I got for preordering the game at GameStop, the one with Ivy on the front in all her S&M glory, so I can relate
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Dec 23, 2022 12:57
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Kids wake up to see snow and are immediately excited to go outside and play in it. I have to crush their dreams because it's -32 wind chill. Hopefully, it calms down later and they can go out.
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Dec 23, 2022 14:46
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Good-Natured Filth posted:Kids wake up to see snow and are immediately excited to go outside and play in it. I have to crush their dreams because it's -32 wind chill. Hopefully, it calms down later and they can go out. Same 
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Dec 23, 2022 17:11
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My favorite part of the fall/winter transition is my balcony dog having less and less patience for keeping watch on the balcony. There's a week where she barks to go outside, then when I open the door she sticks her snoot out, recoils at the cold, and stays inside.
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Dec 23, 2022 17:26
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We told our kids the more stuff they give away, the more stuff they'll probably get for Xmas so they visited themselves filling bags of old toys yesterday. I'm surprised Amazon doesn't have a "troll your sister in law" section of kid's toys-you know, the type with 5000 pieces that you'll be stepping on barefoot for the next six months, which emit obnoxious licensed cartoon songs which cannot easily be silenced and will make your kids crave that hit of consumerism for years to come.
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Dec 23, 2022 17:53
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The December margins for daycare must be off the charts with half the kids consistently out sick and the winter break over the last week. It's a good thing I hate money
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Dec 23, 2022 17:56
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Daycare is closed due to snow. I work from home but still need to, you know, work so there’s going to be a lot of cartoons today. Also the chihuahua is on poop strike. What an exciting day!
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Dec 23, 2022 18:01
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remigious posted:Daycare is closed due to snow. I work from home but still need to, you know, work so there’s going to be a lot of cartoons today. Also the chihuahua is on poop strike. What an exciting day! We are into movie # 2 of the day over here. Lots of wrapping to do.
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Dec 23, 2022 18:08
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nachos posted:It's a good thing I hate money
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Dec 23, 2022 19:30
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I always make my kid help me sort through toys and clothes to get rid of. Hoarding runs in my family so I make them make choices and deal with feelings. When we have to give a gift to a kid for any reason I always get products that are consumed/used and they are gone or experiences. Pre covid my go to birthday present was movie theater gift cards.
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Dec 23, 2022 21:19
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| # ? May 28, 2024 23:31 |
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Panfilo posted:We told our kids the more stuff they give away, the more stuff they'll probably get for Xmas so they visited themselves filling bags of old toys yesterday. We gave my sister in law recorders many years ago before we had kids, she just retaliated by giving our kids some very loud instruments.
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Dec 24, 2022 00:25
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