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Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

I had to go to the replies, but here is what I believe it’s supposed to mean.

If it’s 4th and 2 - go for it
4th and 5 - maybe go for it
Worse than 4th and 5 - kick a FG

I don’t think I would have figured this out on my own.

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fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Dexo posted:

I can't parse it at all

:same: I have no loving clue what it’s trying to say

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009

Bird in a Blender posted:

I had to go to the replies, but here is what I believe it’s supposed to mean.

If it’s 4th and 2 - go for it
4th and 5 - maybe go for it
Worse than 4th and 5 - kick a FG

I don’t think I would have figured this out on my own.

Why does it say 1d? I don't see anything about 4th down.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
green for 2, so they want Miami to run it back for a safety

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
I wonder what it would take for sportswriters to leave twitter

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
It would need to lose enough users to make it not worthwhile for their jobs.

Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

The X-man cometh posted:

Why does it say 1d? I don't see anything about 4th down.

I have no clue. I think it’s supposed to be like you’re telling the coach what to do in 3 downs. It’s very dumb, but apparently it’s supposed to make total sense according to the a-hole from espn.

harperdc
Jul 24, 2007

Bip Roberts posted:

I wonder what it would take for sportswriters to leave twitter

TV and broadcasters to stop referring to tweets for any breaking news.

Twitter, apparently (and in broad terms) isn’t great for driving readership to articles, the engagement and use of it as a platform for discussion is basically worthless at that scale, and they aren’t looking for the ad dollars.

So here’s watching for ESPN to set up their own Mastodon instance to basically transfer that functionality over to another platform.

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
An ESPN instance would be pretty funny. People barely want to federate with the journalist instance and news is way more acceptable than sports generally is there (there is a really good sports instance although I don't think it's open at the moment). I'd love to see it though.

SporkOfTruth
Sep 1, 2006

this kid walked up to me and was like man schmitty your stache is ghetto and I was like whatever man your 3b look like a dishrag.

he was like damn.

This guy is somehow sub-Tom Tango/Nate Silver in the "arrogant sports analytics prick with bad ideas and worse dataviz" competition. Amazing.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001

Elegance is subjective I suppose, but when you keep insisting that your graphic is, "understandable," when your audience tells you they don't understand it, you are denying objective reality. I think the guy made the thing and fell in love with it and is taking the criticism personally. Which is really loving weird.

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009
His daughter taught him what FITFO means and he's determined to find ways to use it as much as possible in the replies.

Douche4Sale
May 8, 2003

...and then God said, "Let there be douche!"

The X-man cometh posted:

His daughter taught him what FITFO means and he's determined to find ways to use it as much as possible in the replies.

Multiple layers of irony here as I had to go look that abbreviation up too, ha.

Also, the fact that a person in communications is getting direct feedback that they aren't communicating well and just tells their audience to do better rather than improve their own communication is :discourse:

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair
I am not a big football guy but I don't understand how "Go for it on 4th and 2, maybe go for it on 4th and 5, and kick a FG otherwise" is even knowledge worth writing down, much less making an incomprehensible illustration for.

Beef Of Ages
Jan 11, 2003

Your dumb is leaking.
I don't know if everyone gets the daily Defector newsletter, but I thought this gem was a worthy entry to the Ratto Appreciation Station:

Ray Ratto posted:

The NFL knows that international soccer is making its next and biggest play to seize the American audience, and it leapt into action as only it can—by watching the greatest soccer match with the greatest stakes and countering with the inconceivable. And because it's the NFL, where excess is merely the pregame show and halftime entertainment is finally spent as a draw, it went to the place it usually holds inviolable—the actual games.

Lionel Messi and Kylian Mbappe were the most magnificent figures in a match so good that it might have broken the sport because it may never be topped. The stars shone brightest, the game was taut and eventually jaw-dropping, the emotions were razor-sharp without needing razors, Andres Cantor birthed a calf on air, and even the seriously yoked referee, Szymon Marciniak, handled the game firmly, fairly and without making a mess of a masterpiece. It was quite literally the zenith of the sport, and nobody came away feeling cheated except the people in charge of fashioning something better. Not even the French.

So the NFL did its requisite calculations, factoring in the 50-percent bigger 2026 World Cup covering the continent from Baffin Bay to Popocatepetl even before the final, by giving us the preposterous Vikings-Colts game on Saturday, and then the manatee-faced-drunk Raiders and Patriots on Sunday. These two games could not have happened on their own; they had to be fashioned on the fly, first by the Colts and their student production of football, taking a 33-0 lead in Minneapolis and then turning into the TurboColts. Nobody does this; nobody ever has and, at least until they change to old Pro Bowl rules where the team that trails keeps receiving the kickoff after any score, nobody ever will.

Then Argentina and France doubled down, and the NFL said, "What's the dumbest way to lose a game, and who is least likely to be involved?" They even tossed in some official incompetence in Giants-Commanders for those of you who want Satan to speed up construction on the ring of hell that will house Danny Snyder for all the eternities.

The NFL is panicked, you can tell. They don't do poo poo like this without a damned frightening reason. There's going to be some serious doubling, tripling and septupling down in 2026, so try to stay alive four more years. Tape up the doors and windows and strap yourself in for the hurricanes to come. With the world and its primary species heading toward the wormhole to Shitsville Flats, this is the one thing to hang in there for.

"the Colts and their student production of football" absolutely slays me.

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug

Inspector_666 posted:

I am not a big football guy but I don't understand how "Go for it on 4th and 2, maybe go for it on 4th and 5, and kick a FG otherwise" is even knowledge worth writing down, much less making an incomprehensible illustration for.

The thing is, in the past, it was basically a two-tiered system of "maybe go on fourth and 1 or less otherwise kick FG" and nowadays we have math to show that you might have better options

This knowledge is very slowly seeping into football at all levels as younger people get into coaching and teams spin up analytics departments, and expressing that data is valuable. This guy just did it in a bad way.

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009
If this guy is supposed to be in charge of analytics graphics, stuff like this shouldn't be seeping down to him

ABen
Jul 11, 2008

Look - we need to have a stiff upper lip about this Black Death business.

Beef Of Ages posted:

I don't know if everyone gets the daily Defector newsletter, but I thought this gem was a worthy entry to the Ratto Appreciation Station:

"the Colts and their student production of football" absolutely slays me.

Ray Ratto continues to be a treasure. I still go back to the "Rare Rays" column occasionally, and it kills me every time.

I have my quibbles about Defector, but I truely love that you can read a headline on that site and have a 85+% chance of guessing who wrote the article based on that. Every writer really seems to have their own voice, and it's lovely.

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

now it's christmas season

https://twitter.com/DefectorMedia/status/1605602262465781761

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


please tell me this means we're also about to get the "what did we get stuck in our rectums this year?" post

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends

DJExile posted:

please tell me this means we're also about to get the "what did we get stuck in our rectums this year?" post

that article would be this tweet

https://twitter.com/LBC/status/1605585654670295042

harperdc
Jul 24, 2007

DJExile posted:

please tell me this means we're also about to get the "what did we get stuck in our rectums this year?" post

‘Tis the season (to run evergreen content and let people have days off)

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
It's back! It's back!

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-3/

PotatoJudge
May 22, 2004

Tell me about the rabbits, George

The most important piece of sports journalism of the year (to get stuck in your rectum).

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

PotatoJudge posted:

The most important piece of sports journalism of the year (to get stuck in your rectum).
It really is one of my annual reading highlights of the year.

Dr_Strangelove
Dec 16, 2003

Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Crazy Ted posted:

It really is one of my annual reading highlights of the year.

*anal-ual

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

I heard y'all like hot takes so here's a hot goddamn take:

https://twitter.com/JoshNeighbors_/status/1607736355701882880

https://www.bakersfield.com/opinion...e1b2699a63.html

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
It was me, Columbo. I killed the Rose Bowl.

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug

Spaced God
Feb 8, 2014

All torment, trouble, wonder and amazement
Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!



Wait I thought everyone winning and getting a trophy is what was killing sports and also humanity? Now only having one winner is the problem?

Salvor_Hardin
Sep 13, 2005

I want to go protest.
Nap Ghost
He is actually saying the college sports are killing humanity and is correct in that take.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

I know it's real quick but the more I think about it the more we might have to reserve a spot for that in the Sports Wing of the Hot Take Hall of Fame.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
If you wanna talk about the downfall of western civilization, there's the Jimmy Kimmel bowl.

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Holy poo poo, ending the year on a banger

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
Who's still covering the Hockey Canada scandal(s)? I think there are one or two reporters still on that poo poo even though it has predictably left the news cycle and the empty heads of hockey fans everywhere a long time ago.

And have any NHL or other players come out with statements about it? I thought I remembered like... one guy saying something, and that's it.

MikeSevigny
Aug 6, 2002

Habs 2006: Cristobal Persuasion
For what it’s worth, I’ve noticed a distinct lack of excitement for the world juniors while I’ve been home at my parents’ place this week. It’s on, some people are watching, but there’s no big hype. TSN seems mildly embarrassed to be airing it. That seems like maybe the best you could expect from Canadians.

As for the scandal details themselves, after Hockey Canada leadership finally fell on their swords things got a little quieter, but the investigations are still ongoing as far as I know.

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair
I get a lot of notifications about articles in The Athletic about both the Hockey Canada thing and the world juniors.

clean ayers act
Aug 13, 2007

How do I shot puck!?
https://twitter.com/DefectorMedia/status/1608985662895673344?s=20
jesus, how some of these people are full time writers..

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming
At least some of that is probably because agents are feeding him stuff to put out verbatim, though he's clearly got his own style

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Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/jon_bois/status/1609572782760665088

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