slave to my cravings posted:

Hey I’m happy to be back in Maryland, Maryland though

TwoStepBoog posted:

Oooooh it's a rope Oooooh it's a necktie

ben shapino posted:

she hosed him

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

moist turtleneck posted:

https://twitter.com/AdamFriedland/status/1609803626343727104?t=mknlkVmWHisoDP9jnm8mrQ&s=19

moist turtleneck posted:

And of course he flies virgin

moist turtleneck posted:

https://twitter.com/nycguidovoice/status/1610124729226039297?t=gILBG3b0KNYBsMMWP9Ialw&s=19

Sunk Dunk posted:

adam was actually right and stav was being a bitch

Sunk Dunk posted:

moist turtleneck posted:

https://twitter.com/Shanemgillis/status/1609784034292285442?t=jBehiWAccKHC0gaq9cbdYg&s=19

Deleted but not forgotten

moist turtleneck posted:

https://twitter.com/nycguidovoice/status/1610124729226039297?t=gILBG3b0KNYBsMMWP9Ialw&s=19

Crespolini posted:

stav is the protoform of the fat guy they talked about who'd make the flight attendants wipe his rear end. it's just a matter of time

Coxswain Balls posted:

holefoods posted:

goddamn people read this poo poo?

https://screenrant.com/forrest-gump-book-astronaut-space-orangutan-ape-sue/ posted:

Like in the movie, the book version of Forrest Gump accidentally becomes involved in an anti-war protest, but the consequences for him are a little more dire. Forrest gets sent to a mental hospital for psychiatric observation, whereupon it's discovered that he's an idiot savant with a brain like a computer. This attracts interest from NASA, who make him a deal: if he will fly into space on an experimental mission for them and serve as a backup in case the ship's computer fails, they will make sure he is spared from a prison sentence.

holefoods posted:

goddamn people read this poo poo?

quote:

In 1980, the shrimp market has exploded, and Forrest cannot keep up with the demand. Adding to Forrest's troubles, Lt. Dan sells off his share of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and the company eventually goes under. To make ends meet he gets a job as a janitor in a strip club, where he meets a former college football teammate who gets in a tryout for the New Orleans Saints. Forrest is kicked off the team when he's informed that Jenny has died and leaves town for her funeral. Jenny's mother is in poor health and Forrest resolves to earn money to support his son, Forrest, Jr, who only recently became aware that Forrest is his actual father.

Again unemployed, Forrest sells encyclopedias door-to-door, helps create the infamous New Coke, and operates a pig farm, all of which end in disaster.

Once at Union Station in Washington, Forrest sees a homeless, handicapped man, who says he is Lt. Dan, who had fallen in with those who took advantage of him and absconded with his retirement money, leaving him bankrupt. On top of that, Dan has become half-blind. Forrest, not wishing to see Dan homeless, says they will work something out. Forrest soon meets with a Marine colonel who recruits Forrest into a clandestine mission to Iran. They meet with Ronald Reagan. On the mission itself, they meet Ayatollah Khomeini. The mission is discovered, and everyone disavows responsibility save for Forrest, who is jailed.

Some time later, Forrest and the other prisoners are eligible for a work release program, to which they are put to work under a "religious rehabilitation" at Holy Land, along with John Hinckley Jr., where he accidentally exposes Jim Bakker's affair with his secretary.

Forrest then works with Ivan Boesky and Michael Milken on Wall Street, where he and his son meet Tom Hanks, who does not impress them. Forrest is visited by Jenny's ghost, who is worried about Forrest. Sure enough, he is set up to be the fall guy for their schemes, but his trial is disrupted by news of a crash. He's later met by two MPs, who tell him that due to an error in being medically released while in Vietnam, his enlistment has yet to expire and he is back on active duty. He is taken from New York to a remote post in Alaska, while his son stays behind.

Forrest considers Alaska a nice change of pace from the superficiality of Manhattan, but ends up accidentally wrecking the Exxon Valdez after a drunken night with an old friend. In the environmental hoopla that ensues, the Army spirits Forrest out of the States and decides to quiet his involvement, as court-martialing a Medal of Honor recipient would look bad. Forrest is then assigned to the reputed worst job in the Army: cleaning mud off tank treads in West Germany.

Forrest also meets an attractive blonde woman named Gretchen, who works in a beer hall. Originally from East Germany, Gretchen was spirited to the West, but her family still remains in the Soviet zone. Forrest and Gretchen start dating, but when Forrest suggests buying Little Forrest an oompah horn, Gretchen thinks he cannot afford such a gift on a private's salary and suggests better rapport could be built through writing letters explaining his situation in Germany.

When Forrest's background in pro football is discovered, he gets recruited for the unit's football team. During a game, Forrest punts the ball, which flies over the Berlin Wall, causing another turn of events where people in both East and West Berlin start breaking the wall with sledgehammers.

Forrest is deployed for the Persian Gulf War, where he is reunited with Lt. Dan. His tank crew captures Saddam Hussein. Norman Schwarzkopf is shocked at this, while privately praising such initiative, he remarks they got all of them in trouble with President Bush as it was not in the orders to get Saddam, and orders Hussein returned. They do so, taking Hussein to the outskirts of Baghdad. However, right afterwards they are hit by friendly fire. Forrest flees to safety, but not Lt. Dan, who says his time has come like all his ancestors who died in an American war.

Forrest starts harvesting oysters and builds it into a very successful business with the help of Forrest Jr. and all his old contacts. When thinking about investing the proceeds, he meets Bill and Hillary Clinton at Whitewater. The final chapter deals with Forrest arguing with Forrest Jr., who has taken up to adolescent rebellion by clandestinely drinking beer, and Forrest Sr. laying down the law in an old-fashioned way. Forrest gets one final visit from Jenny saying that he has set their son straight and that she "likes that German girl", implying that she is ready to crossover to Heaven. Forrest marries Gretchen, and his story gets put into film.