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Bored As gently caress posted:Hahahhahahahhahhqhahahhahahhahha I'd much rather you hang out here and get some positive reinforcement, man. Making you take a week off and then ten bucks for the privilege of coming back is not what you need right now, dude.
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May 2, 2022 19:41
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Looking for a job loving sucks dude. I’m in a similar boat, pushing 40 no career and a spotty work history. I feel like giving up sometimes but ya gotta keep trying right?
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May 2, 2022 22:19
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I can’t promise the first job will be a career but I work for a decent company and we are looking for techs and people with clearances. It’s literally just a foot in the door and they seem heavily invested in hiring from within. I’m not a recruiter just felt in the same place as some of you guys very recently.
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May 2, 2022 22:46
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The process of finding a job is a finely tuned engine of despair generation and soul crushing. Don't beat yourself up over how the system is designed.
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May 3, 2022 01:57
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My back is essentially broken and permanently hosed (after 7 procedures 3 loving rear end in a top hat doctors cant figure out whats wrong with it) so I can't do any physical job that would be cool. And I'm too loving dumb to be able to get any government job that will use my intellect and be intellectually stimulating or fulfilling. So I'm stuck in a poo poo job where I'd rather kill myself than do another 20 years of this poo poo to get a pension. I'm always too honest for my own good. I'm so loving stupid. Literally dumber than dog poo poo. I got my hopes up like a loving moron. They're probably right to always reject me. I was born with a broken brain that requires medication every day to somewhat balance the chemicals. Why would they hire me when they probably have tons of well qualified candidates without broken brains and who aren't dumb as gently caress who tell the whole truth during interviews.
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May 3, 2022 02:37
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Bored As gently caress posted:My back is essentially broken and permanently hosed (after 7 procedures 3 loving rear end in a top hat doctors cant figure out whats wrong with it) so I can't do any physical job that would be cool. After I retired I got a job in the private sector in IT project management. 10 months later a state IT recruiter reached out to me to show a position that came open working with the Department of Natural Resources. I submitted my resume and because I am a disabled American war hero, I was able to be appointed non competitively. I still had to sit through the interview but I got a phone call with an offer the following morning. Maybe there are state openings where you are that are looking for token veterans so they can show how diverse their work force is? It worked out that I get paid what I was making in the private sector but also am union and get 6 weeks of paid vacation, 3 weeks sick leave, and another pension.
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May 3, 2022 03:13
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I wish I was a veteran. Too many medical issues and on too many meds to ever make it through MEPS. If I was a vet I'd already have one of the hundreds of jobs I've applied for (and been rejected) on USAJOBS or directly to the agency or department. Most of them give veterans preferenceso vet resumes go to the top of the pile. And most vets applying either have direct experience and or active clearances, both of which I don't have. I wish I got to serve. I never got the chance. Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 03:25 on May 3, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 03:23
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What would you say your field is? For what it's worth, I don't think many of us here are where we wanted to be by 40.
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May 3, 2022 03:47
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My dream job would be intel analyst. So anything from investigative analyst, intelligence analyst, intelligence research specialist, any of that poo poo. If I see one more posting of "entry level" that says "Active Top Secret clearance required" or "2+ years experience required" I'm going to bash my skull into bricks until I'm brain dead. Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 04:03 on May 3, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 03:54
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Ahhh, that's why you're getting overlooked without veteran status. Any vet applying has/had a clearance, which saves private companies money from paying for it, and saves time for the government in filling the position. There are probably gov jobs you can apply for and get, boring ones you'll probably hate, that will get you a clearance. Once you have that clearance, doors open a lot more smoothly. And there are a bunch of poo poo gov jobs that will get someone a clearance. It's not going to be a job most people will want, but it can get you a clearance and mobility for jobs within the system is much easier than from the outside. Not saying it's ideal, just an option. You might even look into gov affiliated nonprofits, depending on how closely they work with the government. Even the retail workers at national parks need to fill out an SF85. E: either way, keep applying, but look at gov ancillary work. loving sucks you didn't have the opportunity to go military, we really need a viable option for service for medically restricted folks, not everyone needs to go overseas. We really need a new Civilian Conservation Corps, which in turn would need it's own computer touchers with clearances because money and whatnot. CRUSTY MINGE fucked around with this message at 04:28 on May 3, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 04:13
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US Berder Patrol fucked around with this message at 17:09 on May 14, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 07:56
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Bored As gently caress posted:Hahahhahahahhahhqhahahhahahhahha I don't know what others have said yet, but you're not dumb, and this poo poo sucks. Job hunting is miserable. I spent early 2018 through essentially april 2021 job hunting in multiple fields with multiple advance degrees. Hours of interviews only to be told they're going with someone younger and more expendable. It is god damned miserable, and I feel for you. You will find something eventually. I've turned attending school into a career since it was the easiest path forward for me. I don't know where you'll end up, but I can say keep your head up.
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May 3, 2022 20:04
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I read your other post, now, and I want to add that you gotta actively be nicer to yourself. Beating yourself up is easy, but it is not productive. Every time you call yourself dumb, broken, or whatever you're reinforcing a negative mental image. We aren't all equal. Everyone gets dealt a different hand. You're not broken - you just have different circumstances. You're not dumb, your mind just works differently. It's very difficult to give yourself positive affirmations when depressed. It's doubly hard if you've spent your whole life beating yourself up instead of pumping yourself up. Like any other skill in life, it takes practice. If you can't say the nice things to yourself in your own voice, let it be someone else's voice telling you that you're alright until it gets easier for you to say it. Either way, try to focus on your upsides as much as you can. They deserve at least as much brain time as your downsides. It isn't easy, because your praise muscle is weak. It will help you feel better, and when you feel better it is easier to achieve your goals. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. I hope things start turning around in your world.
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May 3, 2022 20:10
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Thank you all for the kind words, I appreciate it more than you know.
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May 3, 2022 20:32
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That's really the big thing. Try again. You mentioned the other day that you aren't a veteran, which is fine obviously, being a vet doesn't indicate anything about the caliber of a person except that they're, you know, probably retarded. But one (and probably the only) good thing I took away from my bullshit time in the military is something that you really don't need military service to understand: the only sin is stopping or quitting. Keep working toward what you want. Get drunk and hate yourself for it when it doesn't work out, whatever. But once that's over stand up and go fail some more. Eason the Fifth fucked around with this message at 20:47 on May 3, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 20:40
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Hahahhahahhah Another job, one with the state, is now almost assuredly out of my reach. Went through everything required, almost the entire hiring process, and I get an inside scoop and found out they're probably not hiring externals anytime soon. All of the effort to get the opportunity and it's all for nothing. I dont even know why I keep trying. Either I gently caress up the opportunity, or I get hosed by lovely luck through no fault of my own. I'm so loving stupid I open my dumb loving mouth and ruin an opportunity for myself. Or I just get hosed. Every single time it's one or the other. And that's not even counting the hundreds of applications that go literally nowhere. Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 10:58 on May 20, 2022 |
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May 20, 2022 10:23
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Bored As gently caress posted:Hahahhahahhah Try hitting up the Fed/State contractors. Ignore the direct hire gov jobs, they have some bizarre ways of figuring out if you get the job or not. Contractors are easier to get into and provide a pipeline to the direct hire gov work. Also make sure your resume is set up for gov positions. Look it up/get a pro to look at it, they follow different rules and look completely different from what all of us were told is "normal" and accepted.
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May 20, 2022 12:24
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Nevermind.
Aopeth fucked around with this message at 03:28 on Jun 13, 2022 |
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Jun 13, 2022 01:01
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Aopeth posted:Nevermind. nah gently caress that, what's going on fam talk to us
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Jun 13, 2022 08:08
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Aopeth posted:Nevermind. Hey, I hope you are ok. Please reach out if you need help. There's a Discord server too, if you want to chat
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Jun 13, 2022 14:34
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Aopeth posted:Nevermind. I saw your post, but I'm not exactly the brain you should be picking. Given your circumstances, you would probably benefit from a counselor. Go see someone. I won't air your edited out stuff, but you have first hand evidence that seeking help works. You probably don't need the extreme example you provided personally, but 30 minutes a week of someone talking you through can be a big help. The path you're on is new to you, some guidance isn't a bad thing. You mentioned you're O. You've had to make these kind of recommendations or read announcements and sit through too many hours of training slides at some point. Sometimes the person that needs to really hear that announcement or really read that brief is the one whose desk it lands on to distribute.
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Jun 13, 2022 15:03
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:I saw your post, but I'm not exactly the brain you should be picking. Similarly I’ve not met a USAF spouse from Michigan that wasn’t down to swing. I’m not even being gender specific, I’m just saying spouses. Every time there was swinger drama when I lived on base, there was folks from Michigan involved. I’m sure it’s a weird coincidence, but the plural of anecdote is evidence so 🤷♂️
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Jun 13, 2022 22:31
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This is a post I saved a couple of weeks ago that I decided not to post.quote:I dont think I'm capable of being happy. Maybe I am, but I'm not happy at all. I think I'm just living my life how I "should." Now I'm crying in my living room with a sleeping fiance in the bedroom. She's the kindest, sweetest, most caring person I've ever met. We've been together for 7 years. But I'm worried that I've wasted both of our times. I was never super attracted to her, but in the last 5 years she completely let herself go. 50-75lbs at least. Every diet attempt fails. Never even attempts going to the gym. I go to PT 2-3x a week and work my rear end off. She won't even take walks. Somehow I thought I could get over it but maybe in the back of my mind I always thought it was going to end. I never wanted marriage. I never would've proposed if she didn't keep pressuring me about a timeline. 2020 was the year she said. Gave me a rough deadline. "I can't wait another three years" she said. 2020 was looking okay, was looking like the year to do it. Then I got injured at work and was close to killing myself for 6 months so that was out. 2021 started off horrible too. Then dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Then he was given 6 to 12 months to live. Then we thought, gently caress, we gotta scramble to get engaged and married before he dies. Then my dad dies 10 days later. Super loving cool that my rear end in a top hat of a sister thought at home care would be better for him than a hospital because he hated hospitals. Well I loving told her so. My dad and fiance got super close when I wasn't talking to my family. She had a special relationship with him. They talked every day. My dad helped her to help me. My dad helped her cope with me being so low every day. She relied on my dad to vent about me too. They're both so similar in being so caring and loving. They were both ones to talk me down. Calm me. Help me through my depression. Maybe I've been holding on for so long because she and dad had that relationship, that special bond. Maybe I wanted my wife to be someone who knew dad. So I proposed and I'm giving her everything she wants because she deserves it. A big wedding my mom is paying for, an amazing romantic proposal. All because I didn't want to lose her. But maybe I should've just let her go. I can't get over feelings of resentment for her. She actually injured my back worse than it already was from my work injury. So not being able to have a physical job makes me resent her. Our sex life is dogshit, mostly due to my depression meds, partly because I'm not as attracted to her anymore. We're more like roommates and friends than partners or lovers. I get angry at things so easily. I'm a bitter, jealous person, angry at my lot in life. Angry that I was born with a broken brain, and now add to that a broken back. Maybe all or some of this is my depression wanting me to distance myself from everyone so it'll be easier to kill myself. I mean, depression is a self defeating disease that makes the person work against their own interest and wellbeing, so much so as to make many people kill themselves. Maybe it is my depression that is making me want to push my loved ones away. But part of me wants to break things off with my fiance. And that makes me sad and depressed even thinking about it. EVERYONE will hate me. Especially her mom and dad. Everyone in her family and all her friends absolutely love me. 95% of "our" friends are hers. And they'd all rightly hate me. I'm a piece of poo poo for even thinking about any of this. But maybe I'd be doing her a favor. She deserves to be with someone who loves her 100%. And someone who can give her everything she deserves. I loving can't with my poo poo job. She's willing to go wherever I go. Move across the country, or anywhere in the state for me. She loves me so much that she'd move away from all her family and friends if I got a good job offer somewhere. That's insane. That's how much she loves me and supports me. I dont loving deserve her. I'm such a piece of poo poo. I can't even believe I possibly wated 7 loving years of my life for loving nothing. I don't know if I'd feel like this if I had a decent job. Or my dream job. But I don't. And every time I try I fail. And I can't do anything physical like join an electricians union or go into being a lineman cuz my back is hosed. I have no clue what I'm doing with my life and now I have to figure out if I'm breaking things off with my fiance who I love. I don't know what to do besides vent here and talk to my therapist. I wish I could talk to my dad. He always had the best advice but he's loving dead and he'll never be able to help me ever again. Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Aug 15, 2022 |
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Aug 15, 2022 05:52
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Take some deep breaths, man. My shoes were pretty similar a decade ago. I was in a marriage I wanted no part in anymore. I didn't want what she wanted. Namely kids, but largely, we were just two different people all the way down and could rarely agree. It's not an easy road. I went through the divorce completely unsure of who I was anymore, drunk for a lot of it. Foreclosure eventually came around. I met someone else and again found myself in a situation where we couldn't agree on things, like the idea of kids or where to live. After loving that up, I finally just moved to Colorado on my own and haven't bothered dating. I'm still shaking out who I am. How to contain anger. How to manage without familial support. It all takes time, some can manage it faster or easier, some of us cannot. My opinion might as well be poo poo, but you should probably sit down with her and have that talk. Doesn't mean you have to break it off, if nothing else, at least re-establish where you are, communicate. Can't guarantee it won't hurt, can almost guarantee that it will. Couples counseling might help, but you really have to dance carefully to avoid blame and focus on progress. It might also be a good time to adjust meds. If you're not seeing benefit from them, they need to adjust. Call and schedule a time with your psychiatrist, see if there are other options. Depression loves to just make poo poo not matter. People, jobs, hobbies. Fighting the depression with a change in meds can help, but you have to make that call. I think most everyone here would support you in making that call. For the moment, breathe through it. Deep and slow. Take some time to organize your thoughts coherently for when you talk to her. You can get through this, but it's going to take work. And you can always vent at us when you're angry, she's probably having a hard time with it too. At the very least, don't go throwing away a good friendship. I did. I regret it. It doesn't dictate my life, but I do wish I didn't end things so poorly. E: you didn't have to repost after the edit out, I'm used to replying to blank spaces. Hope you're doing better this morning though. CRUSTY MINGE fucked around with this message at 14:36 on Aug 15, 2022 |
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Aug 15, 2022 06:42
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dunno if this is the right thread for this so apologies if not, but, I figured some people here may be interested: https://twitter.com/JayGlazer/status/1565377149552529410?s=20&t=tsE40Q8TLap_a8XdeObDgw for those unfamiliar with Glazer, he's a well-known NFL reporter
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Sep 1, 2022 17:49
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I’m not sure if it’s actually okay for me to post here but I figure this is the best place on the forums for it. I’m an analyst with the DoD who spent a lot of time working Afghanistan issues, including the pullout. I also volunteered with SIV families in Virginia. Today I got an award at work for the support I gave to the pullout. I very much wasn’t expecting to revisit those memories today and I’ve been having a pretty intense emotional response. I opened up to my partner about it and then started sobbing in my car after I left. I know I’m “just an analyst” but that saga plus seeing how it affected the veterans I work with and know was really rough at the time and it’s obviously had some lasting impact that I apparently have not fully processed. So yeah…it’s been a tough one today.
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Nov 16, 2022 02:56
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CherryCola posted:I’m not sure if it’s actually okay for me to post here but I figure this is the best place on the forums for it. I’m an analyst with the DoD who spent a lot of time working Afghanistan issues, including the pullout. I also volunteered with SIV families in Virginia. I sent you a PM
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Nov 16, 2022 04:43
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I'm a complete loving failure in life and wish I was dead. I don't know how people deal with failure. I honestly don't know what to do with my life now. I'm lost without my dad. My fiance can't help me not be a failure at everything I try. All I do is upset her when I'm depressed like this. She's doing her best and it breaks her heart that she can't help me at all. There's nothing anyone can do. I'm a loving failure. I try and try and try and try and all I do is fail and get rejections or score too low or aren't among the most qualified or my back being hosed keeps me from the job. Or I'd fail the PT test like the lineman job a buddy of mine did. I'm not actively suicidal or anything but I just feel like I'd rather be dead than have a poo poo job with lovely people for poo poo pay for the area I'm in. But I'm loving stuck there. I don't know what else to do when I try to escape but fail to. If I'm at this place in two years I'm either quitting or going insane. I just don't know what the gently caress to do. Everyone always tells me how smart I am but that doesn't mean poo poo if I can't use it in a job. I'd actually like to have an intellectually stimulating job. No offense to janitors but my intelligence doesn't do poo poo for me if I'm the smartest janitor of the bunch. I haven't been this low in a long time. I feel like doing absolutely loving nothing but sitting and rotting in my apartment. I feel like I can't even tell my therapist the truth about how bad I feel. I'm so loving alone without my dad.
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Dec 12, 2022 02:45
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Bored As gently caress posted:I'm a complete loving failure in life and wish I was dead. I don't know how people deal with failure. I honestly don't know what to do with my life now. I'm lost without my dad. My fiance can't help me not be a failure at everything I try. All I do is upset her when I'm depressed like this. She's doing her best and it breaks her heart that she can't help me at all. There's nothing anyone can do. I'm a loving failure. I try and try and try and try and all I do is fail and get rejections or score too low or aren't among the most qualified or my back being hosed keeps me from the job. Or I'd fail the PT test like the lineman job a buddy of mine did. Brother, I'm sorry I can't help you personally, but as a "smart-dumb guy", I can tell you there is always a benefit to being smarter than the average bear, even when you're feeling stuck and depressed. Also you should definitely tell your therapist because they can't help what you don't present to them. Hiding a bad set of depression from them works against both of you.
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Dec 15, 2022 19:19
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Holy poo poo. Flick and Baldomero are dead. There is nothing I can do. What the gently caress. Where are my friends? Why did this happen. Where are my friends.
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Dec 19, 2022 04:34
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Booger Presley posted:Holy poo poo. Flick and Baldomero are dead. There is nothing I can do. What the gently caress. Where are my friends? Why did this happen. Where are my friends. That sucks. It always sucks. But you have to just keep going, you know? They aren't really gone as long as you (and others) remember them. I feel you man, it sucks.
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Dec 19, 2022 04:51
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gently caress, man. I'm sorry to hear it. Are you okay?
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Dec 19, 2022 04:57
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Dude… gently caress  If there’s any way I can be of help to you let me know. I’m free to chat or vent to, just pm me and I’ll send you my contact info. I lost two of my girls in the last 2 years- they both made it to 17. They’re only gone when the last person who remembers them and honors them goes. In my family we talk about the girls all the time. That helps me, maybe it could help you? Just spit ballin’ here. Anyway, here to help and be a friend.
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Dec 19, 2022 05:39
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Wasabi the J posted:Brother, I'm sorry I can't help you personally, but as a "smart-dumb guy", I can tell you there is always a benefit to being smarter than the average bear, even when you're feeling stuck and depressed. Thanks man. I told my therapist how bad I was. My problem is that most of my depression is situational specific - until my job changes, ain't much gonna change. The best I can do is try to lose weight, exercise, and MAYBE I can get to where I can pass a lineman PT test. Or go back for my Masters degree and hope for a job with that bur that's so unlikely it's probably not worth it. Maybe I'll try that #100devs thing and try to learn to code. Idk.
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Dec 19, 2022 17:46
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Hope you're holding it together, boogs.
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Dec 20, 2022 04:09
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Hope you're holding it together, boogs. Yeah I'm alright. Things will go pretty well, then that poo poo hits pretty hard out of nowhere. Lost my cool for bit, apologies. Still difficult to accept though.
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Dec 20, 2022 18:09
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Don't apologize for that. We'd rather hear it from you than have you keep silent.
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Jan 12, 2023 03:24
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VA to pay for all emergency mental health care starting next week https://www.militarytimes.com/news/pentagon-congress/2023/01/13/va-to-pay-for-all-emergency-mental-health-care-starting-next-week/ quote:Starting Jan. 17, all veterans will be able to access emergency mental health care free of charge at any Veterans Affairs medical facility or outside clinic, regardless of whether they are already enrolled in department health care services.
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Jan 16, 2023 02:32
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Bored As gently caress posted:Thanks man. I told my therapist how bad I was. My problem is that most of my depression is situational specific - until my job changes, ain't much gonna change. The best I can do is try to lose weight, exercise, and MAYBE I can get to where I can pass a lineman PT test. Or go back for my Masters degree and hope for a job with that bur that's so unlikely it's probably not worth it. I sent you a PM buddy, hope you're doing okay.
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Feb 13, 2023 12:01
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Hey I know I'm not a regular, but I want to say, the thread title is true and 100% correct. Don't please, god it hurts and we miss you and it hurts so loving bad when your not there. It affects so many and it's not just family you lose this spark that was there and people love you even if you don't love yourself. Goddamnit why
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Feb 25, 2023 11:12
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