r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Call me crazy but I think a person should be able to wear whatever underwear they�re comfortable with.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 01:32

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# ? May 28, 2024 12:46

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

run on sentience posted:

VICAP, Larry. No need to put up with that poo poo.

Citation needed.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 01:35

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

quote:

I (54M) have two children (23F and 21M) with my wife (52F). When the kids were young, my parents set up education funds for both of them, which was very generous of them.

My wife and I always expected our kids to attend college and then graduate school, as we have done. I have a PhD, my wife has a master's. Because of this, we decided not to use the funds for our kids' undergrad degrees and did not tell them about the money.

My daughter has always been more into the liberal arts, while my son is more of a STEM guy. My wife and I worried about her ability to find a job, but she insisted on studying music and film in college. She was accepted to some top schools and chose to attend a rather expensive one, but she had scholarships to cover almost all of her tuition. Everything else, plus living expenses, was her responsibility. She lived in a very small apartment shared with friends in a not-so-nice area far from campus, but she was fine and learned how to budget effectively. After graduating, she luckily found a job that doesn't pay extremely well but she enjoys, and scrapped the idea of grad school.

My son decided to do engineering, and he also expressed that he had no interest in grad school. My wife and I were disappointed, but accepted it since at this point he is already all set up with a very good job when he completes school. Since he did not receive as many scholarships as his sister, we decided to use his education fund to cover his tuition and living expenses. He was able to get a large and nice apartment of his own close to the school, which is important since his classes are so demanding and he needs a comfortable space to work.

My daughter was confused and asked how he could afford this, and he told her about the education fund. She called us and asked why she didn't have one, and we told her she did, we just didn't use it because we hoped she would attend grad school. She seemed hurt by this and asked if there was any way she could have the money now. We explained that there would be a fee to simply withdraw the money for non-education uses, and if we chose to do that it would belong to her grandparents so they could put it towards their own use. She's been quiet and short when answering our texts, and hasn't answered our calls at all since then. I know that it seems unfair to her, but it's not really her money in the first place and she's no longer in college. Plus, her brother only received it for educational purposes and it wouldn't be right for her to just have it to spend now. AITA?

# ? Jan 20, 2023 01:40

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Call me crazy but I think a person should be able to wear whatever underwear they’re comfortable with.

They should be, but I also reserve the right to laugh if they choose tighty whities, objectively the dumbest looking underwear

# ? Jan 20, 2023 01:41

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Mx. posted:

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

Tell the daughter to contact her grandparents to yell at her parents. That money was meant for her, it's hers.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 01:48

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

CannonFodder posted:

Tell the daughter to contact her grandparents to yell at her parents. That money was meant for her, it's hers.

Comments indicate the grandparents are in on this. Also that the mom fights with the daughter over the daughter not wanting children. Just garbage people.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 01:56

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

Mx. posted:

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

These people are terrible and I hate them. Just unconscionable pricks.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 02:21

NGDBSS: Dec 30, 2009

Mx. posted:

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

I'm curious whether money was a factor in the kids deciding not to go to grad school. :thunk:

If you're going to set up hidden expectations for your kids' lives you can hardly expect them to read minds.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 02:26

AbstractBlacksmith: Mar 26, 2013

Failed Imagineer posted:

How is incel formed

Holy cow that�s perfect

# ? Jan 20, 2023 02:43

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Barudak posted:

The only way my brain can make this make sense is if the yoga retreat and her wedding are being held at the same place and time so shes buying out everyone at once.

Maybe her mother has a yoga retreat that weekend? IE: She's hosting a retreat and has dozens to hundreds of clients already signed up, has the hotel reserved, activities planned, etc...

# ? Jan 20, 2023 02:49

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Call me crazy but I think a person should be able to wear whatever underwear they’re comfortable with.

well a verbal agreement that was made twelve years ago states otherwise, so

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:00

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for giving my MIL a copy of her own house key when she asked to get a copy of mine?

quote:

My hubby and I recemtly bought a new home together. His mom started pestering us for a copy of the key in case of an emergency. I told her about the rule we have and that is "only residents get to have a copy of the key". She kept complaining and even got the family involved.

Last week, she demanded a copy of the key sent to her. I decided to grab the copy of the key to HER HOUSE that my husband was keeping for years and sent it to her with a note saying "only residents get a copy so this copy is for the home YOU reside in". She was beyond livid about it. She told the family and I was called names. Now hubby is complaining about how I escalated and made a mistake by upsetting her further instead of just sticking to "no".

dOnT rOcK tHe BoAt.

I actually have copies of keys to two friends' houses. I housesit for them, and they told me to keep them. gently caress, I still have keys to the house of a family I used to nanny for. Odd that I never asked for them, and they insist I keep them.

AITA for telling my dad I owe him nothing and throwing his words back at him during an argument?

quote:

The gist is this. I lost my mom to a long term health issue when I was 10. The cost of treatment drained my parent's finances and it was just dad and me after mom died. No extended family. Dad started dating when I was 12 and he met Jane. After a few months he told me her son had a form of brain cancer and was very sick and that they were getting married and he would be helping to take care of her son. We went from two in a tiny two bedroom house to four in a tiny two bedroom house and me sharing with a terminally ill toddler I didn't know. We had to make so many changes. No more takeout (which was a once a month treat before that). I had to stop my only extra curricular activity. No friends over because noise bothered him. No space that was just mine. No extra money for celebrating birthdays and Christmas.

When I was 15 dad and I got into a huge argument because I was never home, and was always saying no to helping Jane take care of her son. When I told him how much I hated the situation he looked me in the eye and told me to grow up. He also told me that I was old enough to understand that life wasn't always easy or fun and that a rougher life can build character. He told me we grew our family, which was a good thing, and one of the consequences of that sometimes is having less, but that it was worth it for the extra love. I told him that was bullshit. He told me I was not his whole life and he was not going to stop doing what he wanted to do because of me. Then he told me to never, ever say anything negative around his stepson because he was a kid and didn't need to know I resented him for being sick.

After that talk I was even more distant and left when I was 17, right after graduation, and couch surfed until I went to college (I graduated high school at 17 and turned 18 that October). I didn't stay in touch. When I was 19 I heard that dad's stepson had died. In college I met my wife and we got married this past June. Then in November my dad showed up and told me he wanted to talk. I shut the door in his face. He kept showing up where I was to talk. After getting annoyed with him I agreed to meet him for a coffee. He told me how he'd ended up divorced from Jane and how his stepson had died and he looked disappointed when he learned I knew. He told me how he'd been struggling a lot and how he was hoping I could help him out. I laughed in his face and told him he had some nerve. He mentioned how he'd spent a lot of money on finding me and he wanted us to repair things but he also needed my help. I told him no way. He became angry and told me he was my dad and was always there for me and I owed him. I told him I owed him nothing and I threw most of his words back in his face, including that he needed to grow up and that he was not my whole life and would not stop me doing what I want. It became a bit of a scene. He told me at my age I should have grown more compassion.

Cause dad never needed to show compassion at any age, of course.

AITA for not paying for leaving my daughter and son-in-law on the hook for all the damage their guests caused because of the open bar?

quote:

My daughter recently got married. I helped with the expenses. When we started hashing out the costs for the reception I said that I would pay for two bottles of wine per table but they should have a cash bar.

My daughter said that was tacky and made her look cheap. So I asked her what she wanted instead. She said open bar. So I did the math at 200 guests and I figured 12 drinks each. I gave her enough extra money to purchase that much and told her I did not want to rent the hall. I would write her a check for the costs but I didn't want my name on any contracts. My wife said I was being a dick but ultimately agreed with me just giving them money and not getting involved.

The reception went about like I expected. Inebriated sex in the coat room. The insurance didn't cover intentional damage. And there was one DUI that thankfully was stopped before he got to public roads but not before he damaged multiple cars in the parking lot. That also caused several altercations that involved the police. All in all your average drunken stupidity.

The damages to the hall and other stuff was actually several times more than my cost for the open bar. My daughter and son-in-law ended up having to use a good chunk of their wedding gift money to pay.

I feel like an rear end in a top hat for not insisting that they limit drinking. And they are calling me an rear end in a top hat for making them use money they had planned on their honeymoon and setting up their new home.

Sounds like one insane reception?

last one because just drat.

AITA for not taking my daughters when my ex gave birth?

quote:

My ex-wife (Emma) and my wife (Lara) were pregnant around the same time. Lara was about 10 weeks ahead of Emma. In November, Lara gave birth to our son a few days after his due date. Three days after he and Lara came home, I received a panicked call from my SIL asking if I could take my daughters (9F twins) as Emma had been taken to hospital the night before and was being taken for a c-section. SIL and my brother had taken the girls in overnight but weren�t able to take them for long due to lack of space as they have 4 children themselves. SIL said that Emma was looking at a minimum of 5 days in hospital and then the baby would need to stay in hospital for a while � the baby came home just before Christmas.

I told my SIL that we couldn�t take the girls because we had just had our son and we were wanting to spend the time just bonding as a family of three. SIL angrily told me that having my new son didn�t cancel out the fact I already had two daughters. I apologised and told her that I couldn�t take them in right now but I would send her some money to help out while they have the girls. If we hadn�t just brought him home, I would have taken the girls in but Lara and I had already decided that we didn�t want any guests for the first few weeks and I had told Emma this.

While Emma was in the hospital, the girls stayed with SIL and my brother another night before they went to stay with Emma�s husband�s parents. While the baby was in hospital, because Emma and her husband were spending most of their time at the hospital, they were cared for a lot by Emma�s in laws or my SIL and brother. After a week or so, Lara and I offered to take the girls but they told us they didn�t want to stay because we were more focused on our son. It did feel like they were just parroting what they had heard from the adults around them. Though admittedly with the sleepless nights I did forget some things such as the video call with the girls.

After the baby came home and everything settled down with Emma, she sent me a long email in the middle of the night explaining that she was disappointed in my actions and thought that I would see this is a medical emergency and I wouldn�t need to be asked to take them in. I told her that we had just had son and I had to think about his needs as well, especially when there was plenty of people around them to care for them. Emma�s told me that any communication is to now go through the lawyer because she�s fed up of dealing with me and is going to take me to court to get full custody instead of 50/50.

I didn�t think it was unreasonable to not take them in given we had just had a baby. Lara wants me to fix it as we can�t afford my child maintenance more than doubling if Emma gets full custody.

AITA for not taking my daughters in?

Edit: My SIL and brother live in a small three bedroom house, having my daughters there as well meant that they were struggling more than usual for space. I don't blame them for trying for not being able to take them full time. They are saving up for a bigger house.
Don't get me wrong, I love my daughters. I cherish the time I get with them, if I lost custody I know Emma wouldn't allow me to get to see them. She had wanted full custody when we divorced, but I fought for 50/50. She was angry about the divorce.

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 03:27 on Jan 20, 2023

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:15

Boaz MacPhereson: Jul 11, 2006; Day 12045 Ht10hands 180lbs
No Name
No lumps No Bumps Full life Clean
Two good eyes No Busted Limbs
Piss OK Genitals intact
Multiple scars Heals fast
O NEGATIVE HI OCTANE
UNIVERSAL DONOR
Lone Road Warrior Rundown
on the Powder Lakes V8
No guzzoline No supplies
ISOLATE PSYCHOTIC
Keep muzzled...

Yeah that's definitely some above average drunken stupidity.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

hawowanlawow posted:

they also expand funny videos of cats jumping onto people's balls

I think it came up earlier somewhere that door cams are used about 75% for complaining about delivery drivers, 1% winning arguments with your neighbours and 24% seeing animals do funny things.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:43

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Mx. posted:

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

My wife and I always expected our kids to attend college and then graduate school, as we have done. I have a PhD, my wife has a master's. Because of this, we decided not to use the funds for our kids' undergrad degrees and did not tell them about the money.

Don't PhD programs typically pay you (via grants and/or TA/lecturing duties), not the other way around?

[23M][24M] AITA for �joining the elites�

quote:

I�m 23 M Btw

To begin , I�m not even joining the actual elites like billionaires. I just hang with people like VPs, not even CEOs. Like normal people who went to college , joined a pre-existing company and worked their way up.

When i joined a company , this sounds super odd but I looked up the people in the company on LinkedIn. From that I found the people in high positions and stalked their Facebook and see what their interests are. I then spent a considerable amount of time researching those. Basketball, football , cooking , golfing , tennis , hockey and what not.

my plan is simple , become close with the VPs, join their inner circle and become the �cool new guy who gets along with everyone � and when it comes time for promotions I�ll be on the short list and most likely get it.

My friend had a birthday , that in his defence I said I would go to. We were supposed to go to watch a movie and a dinner. He bought had premium tickets for everyone.

The morning of the birthday one of the VPs called me and said �yo bud, we got tickets to see this hockey game and you�re coming � so I said sure I�ll be there.

This isn�t about having fun, all though the game was fun, this is about me advancing in my career and these guys have connections into place that I can�t even get. We got to go the locker room after the game and meet the players. I don�t even follow hockey but to someone who does , that�s a big deal.

I�m Being called called an rear end for bailing and �joining the elites�

I have done this once before when we had a plan to go to a club and I got invited out for drinks.

AITA ?

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:48

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

quote:

So I did the math at 200 guests and I figured 12 drinks each.

Uhhhh that's a crazy amount of booze to estimate per person for one evening. Heavy drinkers would have no problem taking it down but most people would be wrecked.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:50

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Don't PhD programs typically pay you (via grants and/or TA/lecturing duties), not the other way around?

That's typical from what I've seen in the sciences, but I don't think that's always the case for other areas.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 03:53

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

run on sentience posted:

Uhhhh that's a crazy amount of booze to estimate per person for one evening. Heavy drinkers would have no problem taking it down but most people would be wrecked.

*slams down a 12-pack* alright, drink up! hey, don't look around the table; this is your booze, you have to finish it. i'll be back with everybody else's 12-pack

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:02

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for not adding my SIL to the lease?

quote:

I and my SO rent a house that my dad owns. My brother used to live in the area but he moved out of state over a year ago with his wife. He's currently going through a hard time financially, after he moved his wife didn't work for a year (Idk why) and they racked up close to 200k in debt. My dad agreed to loan him 1/3 of that to help him get his head above water. They both make good money but the move to a high cost of living state and his wife not working put them in a bad spot. I'm concerned for his mental health and that he might hit a breaking point. Two days ago I called him and he said he was coming to visit and I was excited. He rarely makes time to see me when he visits and I thought maybe that changed.. but he wanted something. Apparently my SIL who is a nurse had her contract cancelled and doesn't have a job. In two weeks her license expires unless she renews it but he claims she can't in the state they live in because she'd have to retake tests etc. It would be easier for her to renew in our state but she needs to prove residency. He wanted me to sublet a room to her to prove residency and at first I agreed. But then it started sounding fishy. He wanted me to send my utility bills so he could forge her name on them, send her mail back to her but not forward because that would let them know she moved.

I sent him a text telling him I didn't want to be involved. It sounds like fraud. He claims it isn't because she will actually be renting a room and I could add her to the utilities. I told him no and cut contact because my brother has a history of harassment if he doesn't get what he wants. I told him if my dad wanted to sign a lease for her he was welcome to.

My brother started texting and calling, he went to my dad about it and I started getting texts from my dad saying as my landlord I need to sign the lease. I told him no that's something he needs to do. Then he texted me saying as my landlord he needs to make sure my utilities are on and he's requiring me to send him the utility bills and add my SIL to them. Which is bs, he just doesnt want my SIL to lose her job or her license (my brother didn't tell him about the job). I also don't understand why I'm hearing about this now two weeks before her license expires. She's been a nurse for 10+ years, it's not like this renewal would be a surprise to her. The whole thing is odd.

I stopped responding to both my dad and my brother and haven't answered their calls. I've gotten nasty texts from my brother about how I don't care about family. And I know I can't ignore my dad forever because he's my landlord. My dad signed the lease for him but I don't want any involvement with the utilities or mail. If it is address fraud I don't want to be connected to it. But simply adding her name to the utilities and sending my dad a copy seems like a small line to draw in the sand over my brother's financial and mental ruin and they both think I'm an AH for it. AITA?

nahhhh doesn't sound dodgy at allllllll

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:03

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Don't PhD programs typically pay you (via grants and/or TA/lecturing duties), not the other way around?

[23M][24M] AITA for �joining the elites�

If he wants to be a patsy, sure, go ahead and burn his bridges. The title did throw me off balance because I was expecting full blown antisemitism and not 'I wanna be an rear end patter in exchange for huffing rich farts straight from the bussy'.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:28

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Mx. posted:

AITA for not adding my SIL to the lease?

nahhhh doesn't sound dodgy at allllllll

so what did they do to rack up $200k of debt in a year, and what sketchy-rear end poo poo are they planning to do to get out from under it?

in any case, OP needs to move out yesterday and call the cops, unless they want to be an accessory to whatever felonious bullshit the family's cooking up

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:29

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not taking my daughters when my ex gave birth?

Soooooooo what would have happened to his daughters if he wasn't divorced and they already lived with him? Would he completely ignore their existence for a week then as well?

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:31

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

run on sentience posted:

Uhhhh that's a crazy amount of booze to estimate per person for one evening. Heavy drinkers would have no problem taking it down but most people would be wrecked.

It's 'only' double what I personally learnt what was normal for a group wherever I worked (~1 bottle per person). Some people will sit on their first glass, others will do the bottle and keep going. If dad knew it was a rowdy drunkard of a crowd he could of just been estimating correctly. Now, should they have catered to such a group, that's a different question.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:32

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Lottery of Babylon posted:

[23M][24M] AITA for �joining the elites�

"yo bud, i need some rear end kissers and hangers-on to roll with me to the game and make me feel important"

"wow, i'm really moving up in the world"

# ? Jan 20, 2023 04:36

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

well, we didn't give you your education fund because we hoped youd go to grad school. And if you did go to grad school, wed have really wished that you had done your post doc. And then, if you did your postdoc it would really help you land a tenure track job, so then hey free money for us, education officially over! but if you don't wanna go to grad school and do what we want you to do feel free to grind out a living in a lovely neighborhood! it's such a burden to have a daughter with dreams....

# ? Jan 20, 2023 05:03

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

run on sentience posted:

Uhhhh that's a crazy amount of booze to estimate per person for one evening. Heavy drinkers would have no problem taking it down but most people would be wrecked.

OP describes public sex, DUI, vehicle damage, property damage, and several police altercations as "about what I expected" and "your average drunken stupidity", like it's totally normal and commonplace...presumably because OP IS a heavy drinker who has no problem taking down 12 drinks per person.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 05:10

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Mx. posted:

AITA for not adding my SIL to the lease?

nahhhh doesn't sound dodgy at allllllll

I'm guessing that OP's brother is trying to steal OP's identity to try to offload the massive debt.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 05:17

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Soooooooo what would have happened to his daughters if he wasn't divorced and they already lived with him? Would he completely ignore their existence for a week then as well?

Also, where was the father of the ex's baby? 'Cause my first thought when I saw "ex and wife are both pregnant" is that they were both his kids. E.g. the divorce was because his ex, while pregnant, found out that his affair partner was also pregnant. But that may just be me projecting based on prior rear end in a top hat OPs.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 05:24

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

WIBTA if I let my friend make a fool of herself at my wedding by letting her wear the exact same dress as me?

quote:

I (25f) am getting married in October 2023 to my fianc� (29m), we got engaged October 2022

Recently I started picking out bridesmaids. I already had my maid of honor (Jaylen, 22f), but hadn�t asked the other two girls I needed, one of them being another friend and then Haylee. And before all this came to light, I was considering Tammy if other friend wasn�t able to.

Haylee agreed to be my bridesmaid, but when I brought up possibly asking Tammy to be a bridesmaid if other friend couldn�t do it, Haylee told me what Tammy was planning.

The night I got engaged, I FaceTimed my friends, Tammy (27f). Haylee (25f), Amy (25f), and Danni (24f).

Everyone was there minus Danni as she was putting her kids to sleep. Everyone congratulated me and I got off the call to go to dinner with my fianc�.

Haylee got off the call, Tammy and Amy stayed on to bad mouth me and my fianc�. Saying that I was �rubbing it in their faces�. Danni ended up joining the call and heard all this go down and told Haylee what happened.

I�m November, Tammy brought up to Haylee that she�s trying to divorce her husband (they�ve been separated longer than me and my fianc� have known each other), because she plans to get married the same day as me, but earlier in the day.

Keep in mind, I had already had a date picked out since a week after I got engaged. I was very open about that, and about the fact we were planning on having a Halloween wedding.

Haylee recorded the rest of the call, Tammy and Amy tried to justify the date, using the excuse that Tammy deserved to be married first. She wasn�t even first to begin with, Haylee was. In fact I�m the only one who hasn�t been married. IDK why this all matters to her.

Haylee told Tammy wouldn�t attend if it was the same day, and called her an attention seeker.

Not even 24/hr later, Tammy was in the group chat crying that her husband said he�d drag the divorce out in court. She then went crying to Danni saying that it�s not fair I�m getting married before her (which again, is wrong).

She also claimed my relationship wasn�t valid because I haven�t had bad relationships like her and therefore �can�t appreciate� my fianc�. She even made a joke that he�d leave me like my last fianc� (the breakup was mutual)

In the GC Tammy asked what my dress would look like, i sent the link to the website I got the dress from, and sure enough a week later Danni got confirmation that Tammy got the exact dress, and plans to wear it to my wedding.

Fiance, Jaylen, Haylee and Danni think I should block her from attending, if not for me, then to keep her from looking like an idiot wearing my dress.

But personally, and I may be TA here, I want to see her look stupid in front of everyone at my wedding. I know she�ll be berated, which would be fine by me, considering she couldn�t even let me have one day be about me.

So WIBTA if I let her wear my dress?

why the gently caress are you friends with Tammy

quote:

We haven�t actually hung out in a while, and believe it or not Amy is so much worse than Tammy.

why are you friends with Amy

quote:

I do plan to talk to Tammy and Amy, Tammy will be easier to talk to. Amy will probably jus threaten to call immigration on me again (I was born here, she doesn�t believe me) like she�s done before when I confronted her about something (this was back when we were in our early 20�s, this is how long it�s been since I�ve personally had problems with her).

info: what the gently caress

# ? Jan 20, 2023 05:39

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Halloween Jack posted:

Can someone translate this into Latin? I need a coat of arms.

According to Google Translate:

quote:

QUID FUTUO mali apud te?

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:08

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Mx. posted:

WIBTA if I let my friend make a fool of herself at my wedding by letting her wear the exact same dress as me?

why the gently caress are you friends with Tammy

why are you friends with Amy

info: what the gently caress

Fiancé should call the whole thing off, because OP is probably as much of a Mean Girl as the rest of them. She cares more about embarrassing a friend she doesn't even hang out with anymore than creating a positive memory with him. Huge yikes. Disrespect off the charts.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:28

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

WIBTB for asking my kids to search their leavings?

quote:

I made meatloaf for supper today and forgot to take off my rings before hand before mixing it. Since they were dirty anyways I decided to leave them on and wash up after. After preparing supper I washed my hands and vacuumed. My oldest daughter had to leave before my husband arrived so our kids ate supper and I was waiting to eat with him. Before he got home I realized that I was missing my ring so I lost it sometime since preparing supper so I retraced my steps. The ring is too big to fit down the sink, I checked the vacuum and garbage and every room that I was in. The only other place I could think of was that it fell off when I was making the meatloaf so I destroyed the remaining half with no luck. My husband helped me search the house again with no results.

Someone suggested maybe one of our 4 kids ate it. They are in high school and college. We have since looked everywhere for it including in vents and under and in all appliances and furniture with no luck. My husband suggested that we ask our kids to search their leavings for my ring in the slim, likely impossible, chance that they ate it. I don't think it would be possible to not notice it even if they were in a rush and inhaling food.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Mx. posted:

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

OP posted some updates

quote:

UPDATE: I understand the consensus is that my wife and I are the AH. I texted my daughter to ask if she wanted us to withdraw the money for her/what she wanted to do. This was her response: "I don't care. Maybe they can transfer it to [other grandkid who is 5] if the fee is seriously too much. Idk about grad school I haven't thought about it much recently. If I do apply it wouldn't be for another couple years and I hadn't been counting on having any financial help in the first place so it really doesn't even matter. Thanks for asking tho."

UPDATE 2: My wife and I are discussing our daughter's response and our next actions to resolve this situation. For context, my wife has always had a strained relationship with my daughter and did not approve of many of her life choices. She believes we should take our daughter's words at face value and assume she no longer wants the money. From some of the responses here, I fear that my daughter's response was out of resentment and I suggested taking out as much money as her brother was given so at least they received the same amount. She could use it responsibly towards rent, groceries, transportation, etc. or in some other way to further her career, so it would still be for "educational" purposes in a sense. My wife is standing firm in her opinion, and we will continue talking it through tomorrow.

Many have asked about where my parents stand on this. At this point, they are not mentally aware enough to really participate in the discussion. They did know about our grad school stipulation and thought it was fine. They also knew that we took out some money for our son once we were certain he was not pursuing an advanced degree, and were fine with that as well. They said it was our decision as parents what to do with our daughter's fund, and they would support whatever we decided for her. It wouldn't be useful to ask them what to do with it now, but I have always said that whatever is unused will go back to their care. I have tried to call my daughter with no luck, which is why I sent the text. Despite what many have said here, I hope this does not end our relationship.

Yep, just straight dogshit people. Although you can see it slowly (very, very slowly) dawning on OP that he may have irreparably broken his relationship with his daughter.

e: per OP, looks like root cause is daughter bailing on the family religion

quote:

My wife, my son and I are all religious and my daughter left the faith when she moved out, which caused a big argument. There were other smaller issues relating to how she identifies, appearance choices, partners, etc. We generally don't bring up these topics because there is no agreement that we can really come to. It's just differences in basic values and principles. I still accept that our daughter is her own person, and she can do what she wants within reason.

FMguru fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Jan 20, 2023

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

FMguru posted:

OP posted some updates

Yep, just straight dogshit people. Although you can see it slowly (very, very slowly) dawning on OP that he may have irreparably broken his relationship with his daughter.

I wonder what, other than not having children, the wife doesn't-

quote:

My wife, my son and I are all religious and my daughter left the faith when she moved out, which caused a big argument. There were other smaller issues relating to how she identifies, appearance choices, partners, etc. We generally don't bring up these topics because there is no agreement that we can really come to. It's just differences in basic values and principles. I still accept that our daughter is her own person, and she can do what she wants within reason.

AHAHAHAHA DOUBLE gently caress YOU. Who wants to bet identify/appearance choices/partners/not having kids is all tied into something like, say, being a lesbian?

Also he admits he was an absent father and the wife basically did all the kid stuff, so the wife hates the daughter and was doing all of her parenting. But he "can't fix that now" so he's not gonna try. I hate these people.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:49

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Midnight Voyager posted:

I wonder what, other than not having children, the wife doesn't-

AHAHAHAHA DOUBLE gently caress YOU. Who wants to bet identify/appearance choices/partners/not having kids is all tied into something like, say, being a lesbian?

Also he admits he was an absent father and the wife basically did all the kid stuff, so the wife hates the daughter and was doing all of her parenting. I hate these people.

Its either that or they're devout puritans and she went into acting

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:51

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Midnight Voyager posted:

AHAHAHAHA DOUBLE gently caress YOU. Who wants to bet identify/appearance choices/partners/not having kids is all tied into something like, say, being a lesbian

100%. All that guff about not choosing the right kind of graduate program to be worthy of funding with her education allowance was just a cowardly smokescreen for "we hate how she has chosen to live her life and will use every tool we possess to punish her".

e: Man, OP just keeps going

quote:

We did not tell her about the fund. She found out from her brother after she had graduated, and when she asked us why she didn't have one we admitted that she did. She and her brother unfortunately aren't close, so we didn't expect this to happen. I should also mention that until she moved out, she was not very disciplined or responsible with money.

Literally expecting the daughter to just not notice her two years younger brother getting a free ride and swanky apartment for college while she didn't get a nickle.

quote:

I admit I wasn't the most emotionally attentive father. I was (and still am) working full time and my wife made most of the calls when it came to bringing up our kids. Her reasons for not wanting to tell them about the funds made sense to me, so I agreed with her decision. My daughter is very smart and although I know my wife doesn't feel that she is successful, I trusted that she would learn some invaluable lessons by working hard through college, which she did. There isn't much I can do in regards to our relationship when she was younger.

Our intentionally depriving you of any support forced you to become resilient and hard-working, you should be thanking us!

quote:

This particular fight [about religion] has nothing to do with why we didn't give her the money. We never planned to use it for undergrad degrees in the first place, we changed our minds when our son started college and we realized that 0/2 children planned on continuing past a bachelor's.

LOL how convenient (for the son).

FMguru fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Jan 20, 2023

# ? Jan 20, 2023 06:59

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

wheatpuppy posted:

Also, where was the father of the ex's baby? 'Cause my first thought when I saw "ex and wife are both pregnant" is that they were both his kids.

Emma's husband is mentioned, so that pregnancy might be all aboveboard.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 07:19

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Mx. posted:

AITA for not adding my SIL to the lease?

nahhhh doesn't sound dodgy at allllllll

So she doesn�t practice where she moved? Like, every ad I see for nurses says they must be licensed for whichever state they are applying for. Or is it just easier to renew for a state you are already licensed in and her employer won�t pay for her to get licensed there, which could be real buckshot that some of the home health agencies would pull. There are a ridiculous proportion of home health agencies that are terrible to staff, have no clue how to request authorization for home visits when our U.S. healthcare hellscape system requires it for all home treatment, and are just shady as gently caress in general.

This isn�t too say that is the case with the administrators of all home health agencies. It just seems to be the majority of them.

It is very fishy sounding regardless

Edit to add that the shadiness of the agencies does not mean that the home health care workers that provide the patient care are bad. Just their corporate overlords and the various corporations who have been put in charge of paying said agencies.

Bored fucked around with this message at 08:12 on Jan 20, 2023

# ? Jan 20, 2023 07:21

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

Bored posted:

So she doesn�t practice where she moved? Like, every ad I see for nurses says they must be licensed for whichever state they are applying for. Or is it just easier to renew for a state you are already licensed in and her employer won�t pay for her to get licensed there, which could be real buckshot that some of the home health agencies would pull. There are a ridiculous proportion of home health agencies that are terrible to staff, have no clue how to request authorization for home visits when our U.S. healthcare hellscape system requires it for all home treatment, and are just shady as gently caress in general.

This isn�t too say that is the case with the administrators of all home health agencies. It just seems to be the majority of them.

It is very fishy sounding regardless

It's not uncommon in many professions to be able to get licensed out of state via endorsement if you're already licensed somewhere else. Why there's a big push to pretend to have residency there doesn't really make sense. People do weird things to dodge training and licensing requirements and I don't really understand why.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 07:27

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# ? May 28, 2024 12:46

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Doctor Butts posted:

AITA for wanting my husband not to wear briefs?

Thought about adding spoilers but it got too complicated. This one got deleted for uh, sexual content.

If I were her I'd just say: "THEY REMIND ME OF MY DAD AS I TOLD YOU" and if the guy doesn't stop there an then he's a loving perv.

# ? Jan 20, 2023 07:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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