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If you insist on using a 1 dimensional rating system, letter grades are more meaningful and useful than numbering. Fight me.
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Jan 24, 2023 18:56
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My group got dinged on our goals for not completing a project on time in 2022. It was 7 months late, and had a documented 7-month delay in equipment production from the overseas vendor. Sometimes you just can't win. 
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Jan 24, 2023 19:27
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Reviews are like casinos only without any of the fun. The game is rigged in the house's favor from the get-go, that you can't win is the entire point!
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Jan 24, 2023 19:38
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Lockback posted:If you insist on using a 1 dimensional rating system, letter grades are more meaningful and useful than numbering. Fight me. My boss uses food coloring. Every person has a large jar of water with their name affixed sitting on a big tray thing with a drain. If we do something bad, she adds a drop of food coloring to the jar of water. If we do something good, she adds a cup of clear water to the jar, which overflows and dilutes the food coloring. Thus overall performance is measured by how clear your particular jar is. Sure beats the old system, which was entirely based on how angry her pet magpie was at you.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:39
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For whatever reason, the mandatory trainings I had to watch include a) instructions on how to use the self-rating system that was discontinued years ago, and b) guidelines for managers (which I am not) on how to perform associate evaluations, which explicitly tells them that if their associates are ranked too low, it's probably because they're bad managers (I'm exaggerating, of course, but that's essentially the message).
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Jan 24, 2023 19:44
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Eric the Mauve posted:Reviews are like casinos only without any of the fun. The game is rigged in the house's favor from the get-go, that you can't win is the entire point! My old boss refused to even participate in the review process. We all got the same raise every year, whatever the bucket % was for our department. It really hosed us over though when it came time to argue for a promotion. I watched several of my peers who "played the game" get promotions while I did not. I learned you have to play the game if you want to get ahead after that. Now my reviews are full of bullshit extolling me as god's own gift to the company, and painfully highlighting in detail how I exceeded every single goal assigned to me. If it's all bullshit anyway I'm at least going to make them work for it.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:45
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remigious posted:I went on pto a few weeks ago, which was cut short by my friend’s husband having a heart attack and dying a few days later. He was a very close family friend. There was a huge fuckup on a project I was managing, which is ultimately my fault and I’m not really sure how to handle that I hosed up so badly. I let my boss know asap the entire situation and she was I pretty understanding, but this is really eating me up inside. It depends what you did, but in general most projects we work on in corporate at most affect peoples’ ability to do their jobs effectively / efficiently. If there are things you can do to improve yourself that youve identified as a result of this, start doing those things. If there aren’t, put your fuckup in perspective, ultimately it won’t define your career and certainly not you as a person. Do that anyway actually. Failure is a part of life. Also condolences about your family friend. That sucks.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:56
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remigious posted:I went on pto a few weeks ago, which was cut short by my friend’s husband having a heart attack and dying a few days later. He was a very close family friend. There was a huge fuckup on a project I was managing, which is ultimately my fault and I’m not really sure how to handle that I hosed up so badly. I let my boss know asap the entire situation and she was I pretty understanding, but this is really eating me up inside. This incident is huge in your life right now, but there's going to be some point in the future at which you've stopped giving the slightest poo poo about it. Just put one foot in front of the other until you get there. In the meantime, think about what a great story this is going to make in your next job interview.
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Jan 24, 2023 19:59
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BigHead posted:My boss uses food coloring. Every person has a large jar of water with their name affixed sitting on a big tray thing with a drain. If we do something bad, she adds a drop of food coloring to the jar of water. If we do something good, she adds a cup of clear water to the jar, which overflows and dilutes the food coloring. Thus overall performance is measured by how clear your particular jar is. Same, except instead of adding a cup of clear water, they just piss into the jar, so performance is also based on how hydrated the boss is. Also you have to drink the jar.
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Jan 24, 2023 20:00
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I'm on my third new boss in 4 months, with the latest coming in December. She has the unenviable task of writing reviews for a team she didn't work with for the whole year when neither of her predecessors kept notes. I manage a small team myself, and per her instructions this year everyone gets an above average review. Hi new boss, I like you, don't flame out due to the burden like the last two please!
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Jan 24, 2023 20:01
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BigHead posted:Sure beats the old system, which was entirely based on how angry her pet magpie was at you.
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Jan 24, 2023 20:17
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skipdogg posted:My old boss refused to even participate in the review process. We all got the same raise every year, whatever the bucket % was for our department. See, at least our place is honest about the assessments being bullshit. We don't do self-assessments or actual reviews anymore. It's all at manager level with no input from the underlings. Heck, I haven't even had individual goals since my first year here. It's all a group-responsibility thing; my goals are the group's goals. If the group fails to hit its targets [advance X molecules to Stage 1, publish Y external scientific manuscripts with at least Z of them in high-impact-factor journals, introduce Equipment A, B, and C no later than Date. Qualify this, that and the other], then I get hit. Unfortunately, nearly every piece of that is outside the control of any individual. You have no guarantee that anyone will publish your research or that your research will even be interesting enough to publish. You have no guarantee it's the flavor of the year for Nature et al. You can't control, let's say, a vendor being 7 months late getting poo poo to you from Italy. You can't control the animal data coming back showing kidney toxicity on the drug you were scaling up. It's all a gamble. Might as well take my self-assessment out of the picture  E: Also, just to clarify, "then I get hit" means I take a hit to my performance rating. I no longer work at a physically abusive pharma company. (I did, though, in Indianapolis.)
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Jan 24, 2023 20:28
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Sundae posted:E: Also, just to clarify, "then I get hit" means I take a hit to my performance rating. I no longer work at a physically abusive pharma company. (I did, though, in Indianapolis.) PPE required (helmet / pads / cup)
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Jan 24, 2023 20:39
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raminasi posted:This incident is huge in your life right now, but there's going to be some point in the future at which you've stopped giving the slightest poo poo about it. Just put one foot in front of the other until you get there. In the meantime, think about what a great story this is going to make in your next job interview. Jordan7hm posted:It depends what you did, but in general most projects we work on in corporate at most affect peoples’ ability to do their jobs effectively / efficiently. If there are things you can do to improve yourself that youve identified as a result of this, start doing those things. If there aren’t, put your fuckup in perspective, ultimately it won’t define your career and certainly not you as a person. Do that anyway actually. Thank you guys so much for your kind feedback, it really helps. It is hard to find the line sometimes between taking responsibility and beating myself up.
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Jan 24, 2023 20:47
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My manager doesn't actually manage, so the review is straight bullshit. Like unless he wants something, I might see the guy once every other week in the hallway, and he'll say "hi Iron Crowned." It's also really fun when he's part of an inquisition into why I was over on hours, forcing me to do the work that he should have done (the project was severely misquoted by the sales engineer, and rubberstamped for approval) I really don't know what he does all day other than dumping his job duties on anyone nearby.
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Jan 24, 2023 20:48
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I told my manager I finally submitted a self review for the first time ever, a full week before the deadline. He said “look at that, you’re the first on the team to submit this year! Also, the deadline for managers to submit raise allocations was 2 weeks ago  ”
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Jan 24, 2023 20:53
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remigious posted:I went on pto a few weeks ago, which was cut short by my friend’s husband having a heart attack and dying a few days later. He was a very close family friend. There was a huge fuckup on a project I was managing, which is ultimately my fault and I’m not really sure how to handle that I hosed up so badly. I let my boss know asap the entire situation and she was I pretty understanding, but this is really eating me up inside. Sorry about your friend. That's painful to go through. Our CEO told me when I hosed something up that the worst outcome in our business is that someone loses money, or doesn't make money as fast, or as much. And that pretty much any mistake is recoverable through admitting you hosed up and then doing the work to fix it. That pretty well stuck with me and now I tell my teams that. This obviously doesn't apply if you are in like structural engineering or surgery or poo poo that matters but this is, after all, the corporate thread.
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Jan 24, 2023 21:07
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Democratic Pirate posted:I told my manager I finally submitted a self review for the first time ever, a full week before the deadline. There's a lot to hate about the review process, but that's what I hate most about the whole corporate job review situation. It's basically not connected in any way to how compensation is figured out.
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Jan 24, 2023 21:17
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HR/recruiting commodifying the process of talent recruitment is driving me up a loving wall. We're opening up a "near shore" office and the HR team is looking at it like its just a problem of "fill X slots in Y time" with, like, no regard to challenges trying to hire internationally will entail or the fact that we don't really want the process optimized to "getting someone in the seat quickly and risking having a candidate ready before the approved headcount time" but instead we just want the best candidates which means the widest nets, and we can figure out the rest. Like, they really were trying to lay ground rules about who can talk to who and I had to be like "Lady, if I talk to someone and they are a best fit for my colleague's team, I can and will just talk to them and we will get it figured out. I don't need daycare-level rules on sharing toys." Just a little rant because I can't say these things out loud.
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Jan 24, 2023 21:46
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I just didn't bother doing my review this year. The deadline came and went, and nobody said a thing to me about it. I found out later that a few people haven't bothered submitting one in years and their reviews continued like nothing was out of the ordinary lmao Will update how that goes
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Jan 24, 2023 22:07
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Yeah, my HR team makes sure managers have marked the review as completed but they don't read what's submitted. I still have to take it seriously because reviews can all of a sudden arbitrarily become important during a salary change or a layoff. One of my earliest management lessons: if you ask for something, you have to look at it.
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Jan 24, 2023 22:43
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Tibalt posted:I've been permanently remote for what's approaching a half decade, but my wife is being "forced" to go into the office one day a week for her job where was hired on as a remote employee. Which, honestly, as upsetting as this is, it's really not a bad situation. My wife has been planning to open her own private practice later this year anyway, and has been really unhappy with how they've been treating her. Stuff like nickel and diming her on PTO, not letting her control her own schedule, trying to squeeze as many patients into her panel as they can, generally not treating her like a trained professional. We're in a good financial position and I've been encouraging her to leave the place for a year. But she still feels bad because it's such a relatively small thing to stand her ground on, and about 40 patients are going to have their care disrupted because of it. She works for a FQHC as well, so these are really vulnerable patients who can't easily get care anywhere else. But at the end of the day she's not the one making this decision to fire her, it's the clinic. They already have a month long waiting list and two open positions they're trying to fill, so I'm honestly baffled why they decided to do this.
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Jan 25, 2023 00:07
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Tibalt posted:Well, they didn't quite wait until February, my wife had another (scheduled last minute) meeting with HR. They told her that coming into the office once a week to do teletherapy was "an expectation of the job." When my wife said that she wasn't coming in, the HR person asked her when she was going give her letter of resignation. My wife told them that she was perfectly willing to continue doing the job as she has been and that she wasn't resigning, and then asked if she was being terminated. The HR rep told her that it's a 'myth' that you can't get unemployment if you resign which tehnically isn't a lie. When my wife still refused to resign, they tried to schedule another meeting to discuss her termination. She declined and requested written communication in email instead. She then sent an email summarizing the meeting and then requested a copy of the employee manual, the remote work policy, and her job description. The help can’t tell us no!
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Jan 25, 2023 00:21
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Latest Ed Zitron comes in spittin hot fire https://ez.substack.com/p/google-should-fire-sundar-pichai Tl;dr: layoffs are bullshit fire the ceos
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Jan 25, 2023 00:23
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Tibalt posted:But she still feels bad because it's such a relatively small thing to stand her ground on, and about 40 patients are going to have their care disrupted because of it. She works for a FQHC as well, so these are really vulnerable patients who can't easily get care anywhere else. Hey wow, that sounds exactly like a thing that is 100.0% the company executives' fault and 0.0% hers.
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Jan 25, 2023 00:28
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Tibalt posted:I'm honestly baffled why they decided to do this.
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Jan 25, 2023 00:30
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Eric the Mauve posted:Hey wow, that sounds exactly like a thing that is 100.0% the company executives' fault and 0.0% hers. (...which is exactly why the psychopaths who run non-profits like this have made a business model out of burning out people who care and paying them less than other people in the same profession...)
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Jan 25, 2023 00:36
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Tibalt posted:I told her the exact same thing - she told them two months ago that she wasn't coming into the office, they're the ones who decided today to do something about it. That seemed to make her feel a bit better, but she's in a caring profession and it's hard for her not to try and do more. That sounds like my second hand experience with the
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Jan 25, 2023 05:09
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Extremely disappointed the Teams/Outlook outage was short and ended before I started my day. What a tease!!
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Jan 25, 2023 17:23
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priznat posted:Extremely disappointed the Teams/Outlook outage was short and ended before I started my day. What a tease!! Oh you didn't host your app on azure and had your day start at 12:30am when everything stopped being able to communicate?
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Jan 25, 2023 17:52
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priznat posted:Extremely disappointed the Teams/Outlook outage was short and ended before I started my day. What a tease!!
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Jan 25, 2023 17:56
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Lockback posted:Oh you didn't host your app on azure and had your day start at 12:30am when everything stopped being able to communicate? One of the (only) benefits of an overly paranoid IT department I suppose.
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Jan 25, 2023 18:00
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priznat posted:Extremely disappointed the Teams/Outlook outage was short and ended before I started my day. What a tease!! Love that our IT team sent out a "WE'VE IDENTIFIED AND FIXED THE PROBLEM" for something that was completely out of their control. 
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Jan 25, 2023 18:19
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During the candidate interview, I really wanted to use the words "vibe check" to describe the final interview with the founders.
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Jan 25, 2023 19:12
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TheSpartacus posted:During the candidate interview, I really wanted to use the words "vibe check" to describe the final interview with the founders. I'd hire you just so I could fire you for that.
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Jan 25, 2023 20:04
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Sundae posted:I'd hire you just so I could fire you for that. I'm sorry, but we reviewed your application and decided to go with a candidate that vibes with our corporate message. TheSpartacus fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Jan 25, 2023 |
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Jan 25, 2023 20:14
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In a couple decades that will be exactly what old people unironically say while middle aged and young people roll their eyes.
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Jan 25, 2023 20:19
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Thank you for applying to Okay Boomers Inc. Unfortunately, we have decided to move forward with a different candidate and kindly ask you to get the gently caress off our lawn. You may ring our doorbell again in 6 months, but until then, no soliciting. Damned kids, always applying to us with their fancy resumes and PDFs. Not a strong handshake in the whole lot of them. Edit: I just took my GMP refresher training. It was literally one question. Sundae fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Jan 25, 2023 |
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Jan 25, 2023 20:25
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priznat posted:Extremely disappointed the Teams/Outlook outage was short and ended before I started my day. What a tease!! it came just in time for our largely virtual global townhall, lol.
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Jan 26, 2023 00:37
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Sundae posted:Thank you for applying to Okay Boomers Inc. Unfortunately, we have decided to move forward with a different candidate and kindly ask you to get the gently caress off our lawn. You may ring our doorbell again in 6 months, but until then, no soliciting. I always put "strong handshakes available upon request" on my resume to appeal to this demographic
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