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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

divabot posted:



There was Chivo Wallet with Santa Claus:

"I want Bitcoin to go up"
"Ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho!"

they just approved a lovely new Digital Assets Law written by Tether to let them issue Volcano Bonds

now all they need is buyers who aren't sanctioned Russian oligarchs, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho

how do volcano bonds work?
asking for me, I kinda want to buy a volcano

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Ups_rail
Dec 8, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

how do volcano bonds work?
asking for me, I kinda want to buy a volcano

I kinda want to ask you about gas station pills......like do they work?

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Ups_rail posted:

I kinda want to ask you about gas station pills......like do they work?

not really, no. you might get lucky, but most of them will not help you get a hard on
Edit: Even if it does work, it is probably a placebo effect
the boner was inside you all along

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005


Isn't witness tampering (or even attempted witness tampering) grounds for an automatic bail revocation (since it's committing a crime while on bail)? :thunk:

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Horseshoe theory posted:

Isn't witness tampering (or even attempted witness tampering) grounds for an automatic bail revocation (since it's committing a crime while on bail)? :thunk:

Not if you're rich.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Horseshoe theory posted:

Isn't witness tampering (or even attempted witness tampering) grounds for an automatic bail revocation (since it's committing a crime while on bail)? :thunk:

maybe, lets see

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005

Zil posted:

Not if you're rich.

Wonder if he's stiffed his attorneys yet or if his parents coughed up a yuge retainer.

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish
he was the one buying them houses though

Time_pants
Jun 25, 2012

Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

Blotto_Otter posted:

yes, called "freeports", which the EU has been cracking down on lately because - surprise surprise - they're great for money laundering and tax evasion

so this is yet another instance of tech dipshits reinventing something that already exists, but worse, for the purpose of fleecing not-rich people at scale

e:

no, because they never actually ship the thing! that's the genius of it, instead of paying an arm and a leg to get a collectible shipped by someone on ebay, i can pay somewhat less to get a receipt for a collectible that they never send to me! they tell me they keep it in a super special vault where it's friends with a bunch of the other collectibles, really it's happier there than it would be here at my house

This is the dumbest poo poo.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Time_pants posted:

This is the dumbest poo poo.

welcome to Bitcoin

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
most judges are totally cool with the defendant emailing a witness to get on signal and "vet things with each other"

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Did he print them first? if so then he's safe, rookie mistake if not.

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Mozi posted:

most judges are totally cool with the defendant emailing a witness to get on signal and "vet things with each other"

it's part of the discovery phase, where you discover who's a snitch.

LostCosmonaut
Feb 15, 2014

Blotto_Otter posted:

yes, called "freeports", which the EU has been cracking down on lately because - surprise surprise - they're great for money laundering and tax evasion

so this is yet another instance of tech dipshits reinventing something that already exists, but worse, for the purpose of fleecing not-rich people at scale

e:

no, because they never actually ship the thing! that's the genius of it, instead of paying an arm and a leg to get a collectible shipped by someone on ebay, i can pay somewhat less to get a receipt for a collectible that they never send to me! they tell me they keep it in a super special vault where it's friends with a bunch of the other collectibles, really it's happier there than it would be here at my house

This is apparently a thing with precious metals too, in case you want to buy a receipt for a bunch of gold sitting in a vault for some reason. I would not recommend this.

(of course, if I had money, I could get a couple gold bars, sell receipts for 10x as many as exist, and get a shitload of profit)

ymgve
Jan 2, 2004


:dukedog:
Offensive Clock
I remember some story where a trader forgot to tick the «do not ship» checkbox and ended up with a barge of coal trying to dock at the trading company

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
I’ve heard of that scam before. You get some gold, then you start selling certificates that are each worth a share of the gold, and nobody notices that you’re selling more certificates than there is gold in your vault, but to keep people from asking questions you have to make sure the play is a flop.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost

LifeSunDeath posted:

it's part of the discovery phase, where you discover who's a snitch.

'FTX co-founder Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyer insisted Saturday his client didn’t seek to influence a witness in the US government’s fraud case against him, accusing prosecutors of trying to portray him “in the worst possible light.”'

lol, oh no

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Mozi posted:

'FTX co-founder Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyer insisted Saturday his client didn’t seek to influence a witness in the US government’s fraud case against him, accusing prosecutors of trying to portray him “in the worst possible light.”'

lol, oh no

how does he look good in this situation?
Its all in the light, like a sunny afternoon in august, in New Mexico.

notwithoutmyanus
Mar 17, 2009

Mozi posted:

'FTX co-founder Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyer insisted Saturday his client didn’t seek to influence a witness in the US government’s fraud case against him, accusing prosecutors of trying to portray him “in the worst possible light.”'

lol, oh no

Ah, what's a few torts between friends? Should he not have done that? Wait a minute, I know! He obviously should make another blogpost about it!

divabot
Jun 17, 2015

A polite little mouse!
sam bankman-sopranino

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

how does he look good in this situation?
Its all in the light, like a sunny afternoon in august, in New Mexico.

"I'm just a good boy trying to help get everyone's money back and in doing that I think it would be helpful if I had a friendly conversation with some of the witnesses to makes sure everyone is on the same page"

Ups_rail
Dec 8, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

Pirate Radar posted:

I’ve heard of that scam before. You get some gold, then you start selling certificates that are each worth a share of the gold, and nobody notices that you’re selling more certificates than there is gold in your vault, but to keep people from asking questions you have to make sure the play is a flop.

Dude thats like the foundation of banking, the gold smith was the dude in the village with a vault, youd pay him to store your gold then he noticed would just trade the reciepts for the gold and boom,

W

biglads
Feb 21, 2007

I could've gone to Blatherwycke



Pirate Radar posted:

I’ve heard of that scam before. You get some gold, then you start selling certificates that are each worth a share of the gold, and nobody notices that you’re selling more certificates than there is gold in your vault, but to keep people from asking questions you have to make sure the play is a flop.

Springtime for Bitcoin and Bankman-Fried

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

biglads posted:

Springtime for Bitcoin and Bankman-Fried

jokes
Dec 20, 2012

Uh... Kupo?

biglads posted:

Springtime for Bitcoin and Bankman-Fried

oh my God

Pham Nuwen
Oct 30, 2010



biglads posted:

Springtime for Bitcoin and Bankman-Fried

Agents are GO!
Dec 29, 2004

biglads posted:

Springtime for Bitcoin and Bankman-Fried

Mods plz

Lammasu
May 8, 2019

lawful Good Monster
So I've heard Ellison isn't cooperating with prosecutors which I think is a sign of mental illness. She pled to 110 years' worth of charges. Do you know what happens when you don't turn states evidence?

Hello Sailor
May 3, 2006

we're all mad here

was this before or after she chatted on signal w/ some totally unknown person?

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Lammasu posted:

So I've heard Ellison isn't cooperating with prosecutors which I think is a sign of mental illness. She pled to 110 years' worth of charges. Do you know what happens when you don't turn states evidence?

Not prosecutors, investigators for FTX trying to recoup money. She's not obligated to help them.

Pretty sure this was covered a few days ago.

John_A_Tallon
Nov 22, 2000

Oh my! Check out that mitre!

LostCosmonaut posted:

(of course, if I had money, I could get a couple gold bars, sell receipts for 10x as many as exist, and get a shitload of profit)

You don't even need real gold, tungsten with a little electroplated layer works if you're dealing with people stupid enough to buy certificates for hold gold.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

John_A_Tallon posted:

You don't even need real gold, tungsten with a little electroplated layer works if you're dealing with people stupid enough to buy certificates for hold gold.

lol

ponzicar
Mar 17, 2008
So there's people out there buying notable quantities of gold who both trust the fiat system of some random dude who says he has gold bars more than the fiat system of the US government, and more importantly, don't want to pretend they've discovered pirate treasure by piling the bars and coins onto their desk?

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

ponzicar posted:

So there's people out there buying notable quantities of gold who both trust the fiat system of some random dude who says he has gold bars more than the fiat system of the US government, and more importantly, don't want to pretend they've discovered pirate treasure by piling the bars and coins onto their desk?

dude, there are people who spent millions of dollars to buy NFTs. If it's out there there is someone who is stupid enough to buy it

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

dude, there are people who spent millions of dollars to buy NFTs. If it's out there there is someone who is stupid enough to buy it

Not just buy it, but accept a certificate as proof of ownership.

kaschei
Oct 25, 2005

John_A_Tallon posted:

You don't even need real gold, tungsten with a little electroplated layer works if you're dealing with people stupid enough to buy certificates for hold gold.
Taking "honest ponzi" to heart, crypto bros actually bought NFTs of tungsten cubes backed by actual tungsten cubes

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish
by buying the tungsten cube nft you get the chance to come and see the cube from a distance of 2 metres and for 5 minutes every two weeks you may touch the cube

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang
(method man voice) even tungsten cubes is gettin touched

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?
May I kiss the Cube, for luck

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Ups_rail
Dec 8, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

dude, there are people who spent millions of dollars to buy NFTs. If it's out there there is someone who is stupid enough to buy it

does that mean someone would buy nft's of my posts

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