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Barudak
May 7, 2007

Buy an electric and kill this tedious conversation about a dying technology

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Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

Barudak posted:

The intern who violently poo poo themselves at a "make Sean Combs happy" event at work is less embarassing than this person

How do you know that’s not what makes Sean Combs happy?

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Jabor posted:

I don't know what cars you're driving but in my car, if you move the steering wheel, that pretty much instantly affects the direction the car is moving. If you're not holding it precisely then you'll be constantly drifting out of your lane and having to correct it.

Different definitions of “precise” I think.

Lottery of Babylon
Apr 25, 2012

STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Is my (27M) girlfriend (23F) lying about her daughter being placed in a foster home?

quote:

So I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a couple months now. At the very start she told me about how she has a daughter. I had no problem with her having a child since I’ve always been really good with kids. Then she told me how she actually has zero custody of her because she had her at an extremely young age (I’m talking early teens). Her and her family thought she wasn’t ready for that kind of step in her life since she was extremely young and still in school. She told me how her daughter was in foster care for about a year before her aunt and uncle were finally able to adopt her and keep her in the family so my girlfriend could still see her and spend time with her occasionally.

Recently, my girlfriend has been acting kind of strange because she’s constantly canceling plans to hang out lately, which is unlike her. One day she texts me and said she needed to talk to me about something. She told me how she needs to “start being a parent soon” because her aunt and uncle had started fostering these two toddlers (unrelated to her family) and that her aunt and uncle couldn’t handle taking care of her daughter anymore while fostering these new kids. Her aunt had told her if she couldn’t start taking care of her daughter soon, that she’d be placing her into a foster home. I guess my girlfriend had said she wasn’t ready yet because her mental health (she’s extremely manic bipolar and not on meds) and other things going on in her personal life haven’t been the greatest, but asked if her aunt could keep taking care of her until she was ready.

Less than 24 hours after the conversation, my girlfriend told me that her aunt and uncle put her into a foster home. She told me she was in contact with the foster parents and they felt bad for her with the situation that she’s in. She told me the names of the foster parents and everything. She stayed in contact with them for updates on her daughter. The foster mom had told her she thought her daughter was being abused in a very specific way in her aunt and uncles care because of certain behaviors/outbursts she’d have. My girlfriend cried a lot over it and I felt terrible. She told me how she was going to the court house to see if she could try and do anything about the situation. I asked if she wanted me to go with her for support and she agreed to it and liked the idea. I kind of felt like they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, but I figured I would be there for comfort. She took the initiative to just go by herself and not tell me. She said they couldn’t do anything about it which is what I figured they would say since she legally isn’t her parent/guardian.

Now I’ll get to the part of why I think she’s lying. This whole thing had gone on for about a week or week and a half, and suddenly she told me how her aunt and uncle took her out of the foster home and took full custody of her and are now her legal guardians once again. I don’t know anything about how adoption/fostering works, but this doesn’t really sound right at all. It doesn’t make sense as to why her aunt and uncle would place her daughter in a foster home because “they couldn’t handle her anymore” only to change their minds and regain custody and be her legal guardians again a week or so later. Wouldn’t the foster parents be against it if they thought she was being abused? I’ve thought about it a lot and it’s starting to genuinely scare me if she actually is lying about this and took it this far.

I don’t know if anyone that’s reading this knows how the foster care/adoption system works, but please educate me so I know if wrong for thinking this way.

Even before the impossibly compressed timeline and the "un-un-adoption" later, the claim that aunt and uncle were able to give up their legal child to the foster system so that they could foster some other kids seems obviously false?

Lottery of Babylon fucked around with this message at 01:45 on Mar 3, 2023

ReelBigLizard
Feb 27, 2003

Fallen Rib
Wife and I are phasing out our nissan leaf in favour of our electric cargo bikes. I can get a full weeks shop and a sack of cat litter home just the same and it's even cheaper than the incredibly frugal car. It's been a really nice thing for our relationship too, spending more time keeping healthy and exploring on the bikes.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
idk why being "more in control of the car" matters at all when you're going to be spending 90% of your time in bumper-to-bumper traffic wishing to christ that the clutch pedal wasn't so stiff. at least that's what my commute in a manual transmission car was like. maybe OP's bf is going to drive on all the nice empty roads in the UK, like the one on the way to hogwart's next to the train tracks

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Foo Diddley posted:

idk why being "more in control of the car" matters at all when you're going to be spending 90% of your time in bumper-to-bumper traffic wishing to christ that the clutch pedal wasn't so stiff. at least that's what my commute in a manual transmission car was like. maybe OP's bf is going to drive on all the nice empty roads in the UK, like the one on the way to hogwart's next to the train tracks

Shifting arm visibly more muscular than your steering arm.

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

quote:

I guess my girlfriend had said she wasn’t ready yet because her mental health (she’s extremely manic bipolar and not on meds)

I have a lot of sympathy for people suffering from mental illness but this dude should loving run. Things are not going to get better.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Batterypowered7 posted:

Shifting arm visibly more muscular than your steering arm.

telling everybody it's my wankin arm so they don't think i'm a fuckin idiot

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

Foo Diddley posted:

idk why being "more in control of the car" matters at all when you're going to be spending 90% of your time in bumper-to-bumper traffic wishing to christ that the clutch pedal wasn't so stiff. at least that's what my commute in a manual transmission car was like. maybe OP's bf is going to drive on all the nice empty roads in the UK, like the one on the way to hogwart's next to the train tracks

Its performative. "Automatics are for wimps/women/etc not MEN"

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
An unforeseen consequence of a lack of sexual education is that some are left to masturbate as though it were a manual transmission.

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

Some decades ago manuals were meaningfully more fuel-efficient than automatics. I drove one for this reason.
It is no longer true.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
i did like being able to push start my car, that was handy on a few occasions

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA for not wanting my sick stepdaughter to get whatever she wants cause it's not fair to my kids

quote:

My husband (m 35) has a daughter from a previous relationship. Her mom gave up her rights so it was just him and his daughter so they've always been close. After 3 years of dating, we got married and had twins (4, a boy and a girl).

2 months ago my stepdaughter (f 13) got diagnosis with leukemia it has been very difficult on our family as a whole. My husband treats her like a princess getting her whatever she wants and making sure she feels as comfortable as possible.

Stepdaughter recently got done with a round of chemotherapy and wasn't able to eat a lot from nausea and overall really tired today was a good day for her and she even wanted fries and a milkshake. My husband got it for her. She happened to get it around dinner time so our twins were instantly not wanting to eat their dinner and wanted what their big sissy was having they were crying during dinner but eventually ate.

I talked to my husband after dinner and told him I don't think he should get stepdaughter whatever she wanted to cause it's not fair to our twins.

He called me an AH for being insensitive and told me about how I know because of chemo stepdaughter is rarely hungry so when she is hungry, she should be able to have something she wants. He then said he was planning on taking the twins out for ice cream after dinner cause he knew if they have seen he had ice cream for them they differently wouldn't eat dinner. Now I feel like an AH, and so am I?

quote:

Don't people pretty much always survive... Like I know its difficult but shell eventually be okay

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.
I used to drive a manual, I enjoyed the whole process of driving and the feeling that I was in full control.

Now I just want to get where I’m going with as little extraneous bullshit as possible.

ReelBigLizard
Feb 27, 2003

Fallen Rib

quote:

Don't people pretty much always survive... Like I know its difficult but shell eventually be okay

Hold on let me ask my dad how the leukaemia is working out o wait lol

EDIT: if a little AITA from inside the thread isn't cool I'll drop this but it's a real low stakes one.

TW talk of abdominal surgery and gynecology.

AITA for quieting some med students in a restaurant because they were talking about surgery?

I'm (38/goon) literally just sitting in a restaurant at a hotel, my wife (36/rockin) is all snorkeled out and asleep in our room and my stoned fat rear end wanted a cake and a cocktail after all the swimming and poo poo we did today.

I was browsing the schadenfreude thread and having a sensible chuckle when a table over, some Apparently Med Students, a guy and two girls, started talking at American volume levels about which surgery they want to specialise in and started going into detailed comparisons of the c-sections they had witnessed.

"Oh wow they just throw the organs up on the chest!? That's wild. At the one I saw they just punched her organs up into the body cavity so they can drag out the placenta."

I was one of only a few tables in range and it's possible no-one else heard but it's a quiet place. I had luckily finished my chocolate cake before they started talking about endoscopic cyst removal.

I'm not really squeamish but it would have been really off-putting to hear that.

I caught a natural lull between stories and just said, at about their volume level*, "Guys I have a strong stomach so don't worry but maybe think about what you discuss in eateries, I was just trying to read the internet and not trying to evesdrop" In as friendly a tone as I could. They sort of laughed and looked embarrassed and the guy thanked me for letting them know but I got the impression that I kinda pissed in their chips and they were very quiet for a few minutes.

I feel bad because they were having a great time discussing it and clearly passionate and interested students. Technically I could have let it slide and not said a word and they'd have probably had a better night but I figured I just saved someone else down the line from barfing up their fish tacos.

I crave goon judgement.

ReelBigLizard fucked around with this message at 03:08 on Mar 3, 2023

TaurusTorus
Mar 27, 2010

Grab the bullshit by the horns

ReelBigLizard posted:

Hold on let me ask my dad how the leukaemia is working out o wait lol

what'd he say?

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

TaurusTorus posted:

what'd he say?

"Im gay"

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
Can I sue my neighbor if my landlord refuses to take action?

quote:

I've lived in my New York apartment for 10 years. The state, God help us, recently legalized marijuana.

The apartment below mine had been vacant since the pandemic. Last September, a woman moved in.

Smoking is explicitly forbidden in our lease. I can sometimes smell marijuana when I walk in the hallways, and I'm convinced it's this woman because I have never had this issue before. I bang on her door whenever the hallway stinks, but she never answers.

I've called my management company repeatedly to complain. They always tell me they'll look into it, but she continues to smoke. I'm also convinced that she burns incense, because that stinks up the hallway too.

I want this woman out! The smell is a nuisance and might trigger my asthma. I also don't want to have to worry about my building burning down because of a smoker.

It makes me furious that she refuses to come to the door and take responsibility. I live directly above her and have tried getting her attention by dropping weights on the floor, stomping around where her bedroom might be, and making lots of coughing noises so she gets the point.

Is there any legal action I can take to get her evicted? Can I sue her, get the police involved, or get a lawyer to write a warning letter? Also, what kind of lawyer should I consult for this type of legal recourse?

Looking for advice or helpful stories from those who successfully navigated a similar problem.

Edit: People have commented that I would need solid proof to escalate this with my landlord. If I wait for her to leave her apartment and confront her, would a recording of her admitting that she's smoking be good enough proof?

Edit 2: Comments about how she's not answering her door because she's trembling in fear are so stupid. We live in a very nice neighborhood near an Ivy League university. Our neighbors on the street are mostly families and older folks who have lived here for decades. It's not a violent, horrible neighborhood where people don't answer the door. Stop with that ridiculous excuse.

The_Franz
Aug 8, 2003

Evil Willow posted:

Can I sue my neighbor if my landlord refuses to take action?

This cannot be real.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Evil Willow posted:

Can I sue my neighbor if my landlord refuses to take action?

have you tried telling her about how low the murder rates are in your ivy league neighborhood? be sure to shout loud enough for her to hear while you're pounding on her door

ReelBigLizard
Feb 27, 2003

Fallen Rib

Lads it's Worse than that. Dead and Gay

Huggybear
Jun 17, 2005

I got the jimjams

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA For not communicating with my boyfriend while I read?

i'd turn my phone off all weekend for that one

I hope the OP is being advised of how much of a red flag this is. Getting yelled at for going quiet on your phone for four hours is an almost absolute certainty of a prelude to domestic violence in the long run

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



Evil Willow posted:

Can I sue my neighbor if my landlord refuses to take action?
I live directly above her and have tried getting her attention by dropping weights on the floor, stomping around where her bedroom might be, and making lots of coughing noises so she gets the point.
How the gently caress did he even think this would work? Like in what world would someone hear the sound of a thud on the ceiling and recognize that as a hint about their marijuana habits? Has he been stomping in Morse Code or something, hoping that she'd decode it to "smoke less weed"?

ReelBigLizard posted:

AITA for quieting some med students in a restaurant because they were talking about surgery?
NAH.

The med students were just talking about their work, which happens when basically anybody with the same profession gets together for a meal. But it's also pretty fair to not want to overhear that kind of stuff while you're eating so it seems fine to ask them to keep it down.

erosion
Dec 21, 2002

It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

Barudak posted:

Buy an electric and kill this tedious conversation about a dying technology

I like driving, didn't learn manual until my 30s, but found I liked it even more. They used to price manual cars quite a bit cheaper for a long time so it used to be a good way to stretch your dollar. Seems like those days are over now, and it's something of a premium option for weirdos that like it.

My wife and kids can't drive stick, so buying a car that has it would be a non-starter, and I'm ok with that. Once my YouTube channel takes off and I can get a fourth car, maybe that will be in the cards, but it still might be an rear end in a top hat move because cars tend to break down at the worst times.

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer

Barudak posted:

Similar thing happened to two women I went to college with. They were together all the time, very clearly deeply physically and emotionally affectionate, lived together during college then moved in together after college, shared all bills and named each other beneficiaries on their life insurance.

They invited close friends to a coming out party like, 6+ years into this arrangement and were extremely confused that the guests thought this was an engagement announcement because how could anyone think that, they hadnt told anyone else yet and had just officially started dating and needed to take it slow!!!

I mean this coming from a older lesbian goon, but....I had no idea, growing up, that lesbians were ever a thing. Man and woman got married and had sex and had kids. The first gay person I ever heard of was Elton John, and the jokes were mostly "how did we miss it, the dude dresses insane!" so I figured most dudes who dressed up were gay, and gay men liked gay men. Easy enough.

Then Melissa Etheridge came out, and I was a little confused, because I didn't like any guys, but wasn't aware there were other options. But the big thing about her was that she broke up a marriage to get the wife, so clearly gay men were okay but gay women were predators.

Look this was in an age before the Internet, or at least where you couldn't look something up because everything was AOL chat.

Some time later, I think by the time Ellen came out, I had a better idea of this poo poo. But I still was of the mindset that since I didn't like girls, I wasn't a lesbian, I just didn't like guys. Of course there were no out/gay kids in my high school, and the only lesbian had been arrested for stalking her ex. I did have a crush on a classmate, but her family was super religious and yanked her out of school, so that was it.

Fast forward to college and suddenly there were gay couples, lesbian couples, a gay-straight alliance club. Suddenly there was proof it wasn't just Hollywood.




AITA for not accepting my husband’s reaction toward my pregnancy announcement

quote:

My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and we been trying for a baby for almost 6 months. Last night I found out that I’m finally pregnant, I was super excited and immediately told my husband.

The past few weeks were really stressful for us, because of work, school, and family issues. Anyways, my husband was laying on the bed playing his phone when I told him this news, and the only response he had was ‘oh that’s going to be even more stressful for us’.

I was standing next to his bed, waiting for a hug or any kind of happy reaction, but he just continued to lay there and played his phone. After that I got pretty upset for his reaction, and asked him if he’s even happy about this. He said ultimately he’s happy about it, but he gets anxious really easily, and this is just quite a life changing news, so he was just processing the news at that moment.

We been fighting about this since last night, I’m just really disappointed with his reaction. He said he likes to think about all the problems before he starts to feel happy, and we been together for so long, so I should be able to understand that, it’s just his personality.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



ReelBigLizard posted:

AITA for quieting some med students in a restaurant because they were talking about surgery?

MagusofStars posted:

NAH.

The med students were just talking about their work, which happens when basically anybody with the same profession gets together for a meal. But it's also pretty fair to not want to overhear that kind of stuff while you're eating so it seems fine to ask them to keep it down.

Honestly I'd go a little further. I don't think they're terrible people or anything, I 100% get being hyped to talk about your work with other folks in the same area. But I'd say a big part of professionalism is learning when it's something obviously sensitive enough that a large number of people are not going to be comfortable being randomly exposed to it in a public setting, something they apparently haven't learned yet.

ReelBigLizard
Feb 27, 2003

Fallen Rib

MagusofStars posted:

NAH.

The med students were just talking about their work, which happens when basically anybody with the same profession gets together for a meal. But it's also pretty fair to not want to overhear that kind of stuff while you're eating so it seems fine to ask them to keep it down.

I get this but I still feel like a scold because I wasn't *that* bothered personally and I was thinking about getting back to our room and really no-one was hurt here.

Edit: ^^^^ good point

Edit 2: my wife woke up to say I'm NTA because while she could stomach it now her experience of getting a hysterectomy some years ago means she might have at some points found it triggering to even hear it mentioned and she'd have been less kind than I was.

ReelBigLizard fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Mar 3, 2023

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Cowslips Warren posted:


AITA for not accepting my husband’s reaction toward my pregnancy announcement


does this husband know what trying for pregnancy is?

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
AITA for saying no to my boyfriend’s adult daughter moving in with me?

quote:

I (41F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (43 M) for 5 years. We both have children from previous relationships. His oldest is 20, mine is 9. His oldest lives with her mother and she and her mother are fed up with the situation. 20 year old is supposed to be working and attending class as per the terms of her continuing to live there, but only recently got a job and has missed a lot of school. 20 year old wants to stay out all night partying and does not want to follow the rules or treat her mother respectfully. Her mother is at her whits end between the added burden on her finances and the disruption to her household and the younger siblings. I could write a really long novel about all the things that have transpired.

My boyfriend has volunteered for 20 year old to move across the country into my house that I own to live with me and my kids. He lives here too, but his work takes him away from home for about 10 months of each year in total. 20 year old is fully aware of this. Being that his kids are so far away, I can count the number of times I have spent time with them on one hand, and understandably, they have never really felt much desire to talk to me otherwise. So, we don’t know each other all that well.

I told him I think it is a terrible idea, as I don’t want drinking and edibles going on in my house or someone coming in late. I also don’t want her bringing strangers into my house and around my kids as she starts meeting new people. I get that these are normal things at her age, so I’m not trying to make her seem like a bad person, I just don’t want it in my house. I have been working for years on my ability to set boundaries and enforce them, but I’m still terrible at it because it still gives me anxiety and I’m conflict avoidant. I know I am going to need to get better at this anyway since the teenage years are looming ahead for my brood, but I worry that I am not up to this task presently and she is going to turn my home and my life upside down and be a negative influence on my kids who, understandably, think she is the coolest.

When I informed him of this he hung up on me and in the days since, the sum total of our communication has been him asking if I’ve thought about it anymore or if I’m still making it all about me. It is starting to feel like this might be a metaphorical hill to die on, so before I persist I want to know, am I the rear end in a top hat for saying no?

oh by the way, my kid's mom can't take any more of her poo poo so it's your job to deal with her now. anyway, cya

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Midnight Voyager posted:

does this husband know what trying for pregnancy is?

Big cums in his wife's pussy is as far as he thought about it.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
she said "no condoms" and all the blood instantly rushed away from his brain

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



A NEW FOOD CONUNDRUM APPROACHES

AITA for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad Wagyu.

quote:

My wife and I live far away from both of our sets of parents. We visit them a couple of times a year and they visit us about the same.

My mom and dad love food. They will buy pounds of garlic and leave it in a rice maker for a month to make black garlic. They plan their vacations around amazing restaurants.

My in-laws are lovely people but boiling chicken drumsticks is fancy for them. And they refuse to eat steak that isn't well done.

I discovered this the first time I went to their home for dinner. I wasn't even asked how I like my steak. Everyone got a well done steak.

It took me years to convince my wife to try a medium rare steak. Now she loves them.

I bought some beautiful prime steak for them when they came over when we moved in together. I made theirs medium well, and I died a little inside. Her dad took it back to the grill and destroyed them. So now I buy Select grade meat.

I've been buying some excellent quality Wagyu for when my parents visit. Not every single time. Maybe once a year.

My wife says I'm being an rear end in a top hat by not treating both families the same.

I don't think I should waste money on great food for them when I know how they will treat it.

I can see the complaint about not acting the same way on both sides, but it would definitely rub me the wrong way to get a pricier food and then cook it in a way that's just gonna bring it back down to the same level as less expensive stuff.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

I was at an office event once and a woman was detailing to everyone her current gently caress schedule while trying for pregnancy and the diet she put her husband on and her vaginal warmth maintenance routine and I have never regretted being unable to become unstuck in time more

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Barudak posted:

her vaginal warmth maintenance routine

was she bene gesserit or what

ReelBigLizard
Feb 27, 2003

Fallen Rib

Captain Hygiene posted:

A NEW FOOD CONUNDRUM APPROACHES

AITA for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad Wagyu.

I can see the complaint about not acting the same way on both sides, but it would definitely rub me the wrong way to get a pricier food and then cook it in a way that's just gonna bring it back down to the same level as less expensive stuff.

After a traumatic but enlightening experience assisting with the killing and slaughtering of a goat when I was 21 I decided that the least lovely way to consume meat was to strive to make sure whatever you cook honours the sacrifice of the animal.

ReelBigLizard
Feb 27, 2003

Fallen Rib
Quote not edit lol

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007

Captain Hygiene posted:

A NEW FOOD CONUNDRUM APPROACHES

AITA for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad Wagyu.

:lol: why does the wife even care, it's not like her parents have noticed the difference

"please waste money on my parents"

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
mixing some of your single malt scotch with orange juice, to sip on while i wait for the wagyu to be done

wonder why i'm not invited back

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Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
In a way he is treating them the same: giving them what they want. The price difference issue could be solved without wasting good beef by buying her parents the cheap steaks they want, then taking the difference in price between the good steak and the cheap steak and ceremonially burning that money on the grill.

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