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Josherino)
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T Zero posted:Poor sleep is something that I've struggled with since high school. I was always the kid dozing off in morning classes. I would go to bed at a reasonable time but take hours to fall asleep. But until recently, I did actually fall asleep for a solid block of several hours. I also used to be able to nap after work/school to catch up. Now, it just feels like my brain won't switch off. I also keep snacking in the middle of the night because I'm awake and bored. Since the pandemic, it's all gotten worse. maybe you've been depressed since high school then. or at the very least, your body dysregulated. you sure sound depressed now. and just because you've had trouble sleeping since then doesnt mean dysfunctional behaviors dont play a role in keeping you insomniatic. overeating, alcohol, drugs, too much screen time, etc. what id imagine, as backwards as this sounds, is your life without sleep has become the norm, its your homeostasis. so you find and execute new behaviors to keep it that way. its not done consciously, its how our brains function. the brain says "well it worked, im alive aren't i?" , so it tries to keep doing the same thing. we all do this btw, everyone has unhealthy patterns. therapy helps break patterns, has your doctor recommended that? i'd be loving livid if haven't, it's the first thing they should be trained to bring up. "I ruined several very promising relationships in the past few years" jesus man go easy on yourself. nobody just "ruins" relationships. people unconsciously enact their unprocessed/unhealed traumas out in the relationship. they learn it realllllll good from their family system and bring what they saw to the relationship system.
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Mar 1, 2023 17:35
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Do you get any exposure to sunlight during the day? I think my circadian rhythm gets messed up in the winter from lack of sunlight, which makes me depressed/anxious, and some combination of those things gives me a similar kind of insomnia. I use a lightbox in the morning now and try to get some direct sun exposure during the day, and it seems to actually help.
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Mar 1, 2023 18:14
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thehandtruck posted:people unconsciously enact their unprocessed/unhealed traumas out in the relationship. ahhhhhHHHHH 
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Mar 1, 2023 21:36
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Man I feel like I'm always crashing bad at night, usually after I eat dinner. Been taking some medication for gas issues and its helped the symptoms a bit but not solved the problem. Having a recurring sinus problem isn't helping either. I feel like my mental state would be so much better if I always felt like i do from like 9 am to 3 pm
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Mar 2, 2023 00:50
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thehandtruck posted:what id imagine, as backwards as this sounds, is your life without sleep has become the norm, its your homeostasis. so you find and execute new behaviors to keep it that way. its not done consciously, its how our brains function. the brain says "well it worked, im alive aren't i?" , so it tries to keep doing the same thing. we all do this btw, everyone has unhealthy patterns. therapy helps break patterns, has your doctor recommended that? i'd be loving livid if haven't, it's the first thing they should be trained to bring up. I think that's a useful way to frame it. I was always told (and internalized) that my bad sleep was a result of bad habits, but maybe it's the other way around. My doctor did suggest therapy, but wanted to see if there's a physiological reason too. I had a health scare a couple years ago (fortunately very easily managed now) and the doc's plan was to try to jump start my circadian rhythm with meds. But the meds don't seem to work so far. Therapy is next, I suppose. quote:jesus man go easy on yourself. nobody just "ruins" relationships. people unconsciously enact their unprocessed/unhealed traumas out in the relationship. they learn it realllllll good from their family system and bring what they saw to the relationship system. I dunno. I was the common element in all these relationships, and they ended very similarly. Part of my process is to interrogate my own actions and improve on them. Certainly I have some unresolved underlying issues, but I do believe I made bad decisions and am capable of better ones. I do appreciate you being kind here, though. Fitzy Fitz posted:Do you get any exposure to sunlight during the day? I think my circadian rhythm gets messed up in the winter from lack of sunlight, which makes me depressed/anxious, and some combination of those things gives me a similar kind of insomnia. I use a lightbox in the morning now and try to get some direct sun exposure during the day, and it seems to actually help. I'm actually pretty good about sun exposure. Both my home and office desk are next to bright windows. I bike to work and around town.
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Mar 2, 2023 01:10
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T Zero posted:I dunno. I was the common element in all these relationships, and they ended very similarly. Part of my process is to interrogate my own actions and improve on them. Certainly I have some unresolved underlying issues, but I do believe I made bad decisions and am capable of better ones. I don't think there's anything wrong in theory from trying to learn from your mistakes- its certainly better than the alternative- but I think the point was more to say that the problems stem from more underlying issues than simply pressing the big red "ruin this relationship" button. (One could draw an analogy to historical materialism here I guess.) Also personally I was talking about something similar to my therapist and she pointed out that this kinda thing can cause you to fixate on your own problems since they're the only ones you can know and do something about. It's always a struggle to find that line between seriously taking responsibility and falling into self criticism
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Mar 2, 2023 01:17
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There's a big difference between "I ruined this relationship because I'm a bad person" and "the ways I learned to live and communicate have done harm to my ability to stay in a relationship".
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Mar 2, 2023 06:10
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Jorge Bell posted:There's a big difference between "I ruined this relationship because I'm a bad person" and "the ways I learned to live and communicate have done harm to my ability to stay in a relationship". 
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Mar 2, 2023 07:10
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2DCAT posted:Thants. That's the saddest part for me is that I literally know no one in this city. I teleworking too, so it's not as if I even have coworkers to be around. Anyways I don't have much else to say. I think you live in SF now, so if you're ever in Berkeley/Oakland hit me up and I'll buy you drinks or something
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Mar 2, 2023 08:08
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I get where you're coming from T Zero. There's a lot of phrases and language that I use that my therapist tends to interpret as ruinously harsh self-criticism that to me just feels like "trying to make sure that when things don't go my way, I at least learn something from it." Things like "man I really should have x instead" that feel just like pretty normal to me. It winds up feeling a lot worse for me when I go "well, nothing I could have done about that" because then I start thinking stuff like "why am I bothering." In personal news/kvetching, doc switched me from lexapro to prozac specifically because I was getting panic symptoms in my workplace which is likely agoraphobia, and holy moly this med change is kicking my rear end. It's been 4 days and all of my self care habits have just vaporized. Can't exercise, can't study, sleep schedule is obliterated, talking to people is incredibly irritating. Says that this should normalize and disappear in a week or two but at the moment I am very cranky.
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Mar 2, 2023 08:45
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Xaris posted:Man I just saw that, poo poo sorry to hear it. I love your music (have bought most releases and some shirts), so just know you're still making people happy whatever else happens. Hell yeah! Sending PM 
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Mar 2, 2023 22:49
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thehandtruck posted:
Crusty Nutsack posted:ahhhhhHHHHH If you're in an abusive enough upbringing, even trying to have a relationship becomes impossible due to untreated spectrum disorders and parents belief that instilling self-loathing is the best way to "keep your kid from doing nasty things". Congrats, it worked. Now I won't do anything. I'll just turn food into poo poo until my corpus stops functioning in a few decades/decade singular/years singular. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 12:35 on Mar 4, 2023 |
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Mar 4, 2023 06:01
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Hello, long time lurker here. With the biosphere collapsing and everything turning to poo poo, I find myself wanting to prepare or otherwise make use of the precious time I have left here while times are still relatively good. The question is what should I do? About 10 years ago I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder which I believe limits my time on this earth. I have a job but few friends since my psychotic episode. I have been going to therapy, exercising, and basically taking care of myself. I just don't know what to do with the indeterminate amount of time I have left. It just seems unfair to me that I was afflicted with this condition and I'm starting to stabilize but the world is going to hell in a handbasket.
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Mar 4, 2023 06:10
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Pretty Little Angel posted:Hello, long time lurker here. With the biosphere collapsing and everything turning to poo poo, I find myself wanting to prepare or otherwise make use of the precious time I have left here while times are still relatively good. The question is what should I do? If you find out, please let me know. So far the only thing that helped me was avoiding any news related to the climate, etc, but that seems almost impossible.
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Mar 4, 2023 16:41
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Pretty Little Angel posted:Hello, long time lurker here. With the biosphere collapsing and everything turning to poo poo, I find myself wanting to prepare or otherwise make use of the precious time I have left here while times are still relatively good. The question is what should I do? That's hosed. I'm sorry. The one thing that really helps me get by is peer support. The vast majority of people are not going to understand what's happening to you (not claiming I do either. My deal is bipolar disorder). There are spaces where you can find real empathy, and even some real understanding. I look forward to my support group every week. This thread has been helpful to me, too. It sounds like you're already doing the recommended things, and it's horrible to still feel lovely despite doing them. Going out into the world can feel like being gaslit by everyone around me. The one exception I found is peer support. It's my little dose of reality and validation that gets me to the next week. In related news, a few people in my support group said that we're their only friends. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking. I try to encourage people to exchange contact info so they get more than a short, controlled interaction once a week. It's online, and I know in-person groups give you more opportunities to socialize. Some groups get out and do fun poo poo like have lunch together, see movies, etc. The peers in my life help me get into a headspace where I feel much more likely to do productive and fun things.
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Mar 4, 2023 17:58
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Seriously, developing a peer group is pretty essential. I've met people through local improv classes and D&D, have online people via a MUD I played and then worked on a little bit, etc. Social hobbies are a great way to expand your world so that it includes other people!
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Mar 4, 2023 19:13
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I gave my two weeks' notice recently and overall I feel pretty good about it. Of course, there's still anxiety about what happens next but I'm glad I made this decision. Being an administrative assistant sucks (especially in the type of environment I was in) and I'm glad I no longer have to do it anymore.Jorge Bell posted:Seriously, developing a peer group is pretty essential. I've met people through local improv classes and D&D, have online people via a MUD I played and then worked on a little bit, etc. Social hobbies are a great way to expand your world so that it includes other people! I second this. Developing healthy social relationships did wonders for my mental health. Back in college, I befriended a local Pokémon GO raid group that I've kept in touch with since. One of my goals this year is to be back in these types of circles since I had neglected them since the start of the pandemic.
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Mar 5, 2023 01:48
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oop
CanuckCanuckCanuck has issued a correction as of 06:09 on Mar 9, 2023 |
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Mar 5, 2023 15:01
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So I feel miserable. Doesn't seem like there's anything to do about it, or if there is I've already precluded it with my own lazy feckless nature. Putting that aside as I feel there's no use in it, does anyone here have experience with strattera? Been prescribed it in an attempt to deal with the ADHD med shortage and I'm not really sure if it's doing any good. Of course I'm never sure if anything ever does any good.
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Mar 7, 2023 00:14
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thechosenone posted:So I feel miserable. Doesn't seem like there's anything to do about it, or if there is I've already precluded it with my own lazy feckless nature. Haven't taken it but it it does take a few weeks to see effectiveness. It's also only effective in something like 25% of people who try it, so if you try it for a month or so and don't think it's doing anything for your symptoms, it probably isn't.
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Mar 7, 2023 00:23
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Man I think I'd be feeling so much better if I wasn't existing in a perpetual state of low grade indigestion and/or sinusitis
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Mar 10, 2023 18:01
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Yeah taking care of health issues is pretty good!
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Mar 11, 2023 07:02
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Just as I felt like I was doing ok in my job since they announced they wouldn't be doing layoffs after all, this SVB thing happens and now I'm worried about a tech crash and being thrown into poverty while everyone around me laughs that I somehow got my "just desserts". Goddamn it.
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Mar 11, 2023 08:36
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CanuckCanuckCanuck has issued a correction as of 03:42 on Oct 11, 2023 |
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Mar 12, 2023 00:32
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AceOfFlames posted:Just as I felt like I was doing ok in my job since they announced they wouldn't be doing layoffs after all, this SVB thing happens and now I'm worried about a tech crash and being thrown into poverty while everyone around me laughs that I somehow got my "just desserts". Goddamn it. I get this, I was also just starting to get stable and build up savings and feel like the ladder was kicked out from under me. We just found out Friday our company banks with SVB - our credit cards and payroll are frozen. We don't know what's going to happen. That said, I don't think anyone is laughing at *you* or wants you to suffer. I'm in the same boat and I'm laughing too. A bunch of self-satisfied "rational" assholes were revealed to be enormous hypocrites and emotional babies. Good people will suffer, and that truly sucks, but the whole situation is pretty funny and I think it's ok to find some amusement in it.
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Mar 12, 2023 03:03
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I feel like my emotional investment or interest in any news that doesn't directly relate to my local area, the orgs I'm a part of, my work, or my personal life have basically fallen to 0. Everybody's talking about SVB and I kind of don't care. There's so much else that requires my attention. Obviously if anyone here actually loses their job because of this, reach out to me for job seeking help or go on the career forum and I hope you can find the help you need.
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Mar 12, 2023 03:16
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America Inc. posted:I feel like my emotional investment or interest in any news that doesn't directly relate to my local area, the orgs I'm a part of, my work, or my personal life have basically fallen to 0. No offense (in fact, it's good you think that way) but this sort of thinking terrifies me. I keep getting the same advice: "Find your community", "Act locally, think globally", etc. I have been bouncing between countries my entire career trying to find stability. I never learned the local language because I have always arrived home too tired to learn and everyone speaks to me in English at work anyway. Also, I don't care about finding an "in group". I don't see things in terms of "in groups". I feel sorry for everyone. I feel sorry for the people living on the street, the poor people who will lose their jobs, the doing ok people who will lose their jobs. Hell, I even find myself feeling sorry for people like streamers because who knows what their future will be once shortages run out. I refuse to pick a tribe. Tribes are primitive, it's even in the same. And sadly because the way humans work, if you belong to no tribe, every tribe will come after you.
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Mar 12, 2023 08:30
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Sorry if this sounded judgmental, I often times wonder if somehow I was born without a bunch of mental safeguards most people have. What allows them to not only pick an in group but feel soothed at their presence (it makes no difference to me for example if I am talking to someone in person or online. The same ideas are exchanged). Stuff like optimism bias, etc. my own past therapists have tossed around terms like "excessive empathy" or "you need to choose hope" but I wonder if it's just straight up ASD.
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Mar 12, 2023 09:02
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thechosenone posted:So I feel miserable. Doesn't seem like there's anything to do about it, or if there is I've already precluded it with my own lazy feckless nature. I didn't have a good experience, a very bad one in fact so I'll just spoiler it woke up from a dead sleep with a racing heart, hid in the bathroom for over and hour until it went back to normal. Felt like I was about to have a heart attack. That was after one day. I did not take it a second
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Mar 12, 2023 16:41
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thechosenone posted:So I feel miserable. Doesn't seem like there's anything to do about it, or if there is I've already precluded it with my own lazy feckless nature. I took it when I was first diagnosed (as an adult) it gave me really bad dry mouth and it seemed to help a little but I ended up going back to my psych for stimulants because I wasn't doing well with clinics in school, and they worked way better for me. The other thing is I think it takes a while for strattera to work? So it's harder to tell if it's making a difference since it's slow progress and not sudden. Anyway after trying several different stimulants I settled on vyvanse. I can tell it makes a big difference because if I run out of it, I see a lot of adhd symptoms. But vyvanse is part of the shortage from what I understand so who knows if I'll be able to stay on it at this point.
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Mar 12, 2023 17:10
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strattera is specifically a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor and that's basically the fight or flight hormone so that makes sense (although it's not actually that simple because some drugs in the same class work for panic/anxiety disorders - it's complicated)Dixville posted:But vyvanse is part of the shortage from what I understand so who knows if I'll be able to stay on it at this point. iirc there was a specific shortage of some generic adderall formulations due to DEA's manufacturing quota limit poo poo. the FDA announcement is specifically about the immediate release release formulations of adderall which I'm almost certain are not as commonly prescribed as the extended release formulations. there's no official "shortage" of vyvanse or most other formulations/doses but it seems pretty clear that a large number of pharmacies/regions are not getting the normal stock even if there's no official DEA-quota driven shortage. not really sure what's up with that. various rules on prescribing stimulants for adhd were relaxed due to covid and a few people took advantage of that by making pretty transparent telehealth stimulant dispensaries that advertised all loving over the place for a while (e.g. Cerebral). i kind of doubt that would account for enough ongoing prescriptions like 3 years after they started and are getting shut down to cause shortages like this though? I dunno. i also don't think there were so many people with instant release adderall (as opposed to just dexedrine) as their main prescription that a shortage of a few specific doses of it rippled into everything else. this tends to happen every several years but im not sure if it has on this scale before
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Mar 12, 2023 18:27
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Cuttlefush posted:strattera is specifically a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor and that's basically the fight or flight hormone so that makes sense (although it's not actually that simple because some drugs in the same class work for panic/anxiety disorders - it's complicated)
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Mar 12, 2023 20:20
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Dixville posted:(adhd causes problems with remembering to do things in some people so you forget to call the doctor to refill or whatever). yeah... forget for a year or three. it happens funnily enough the only people i know who actually bothered with the adhd telehealth popup poo poo were people who actually had adhd, had been through all the hoops for many years and had an insurance/doctor change/move and just didn't find a new one. it is pretty funny though that the adhd people have to carry around paper prescriptions that they absolutely cannot lose, sometimes for a month or three. although i guess more states do allow electronic ones now
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Mar 12, 2023 23:13
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Does anyone have any advice regarding anhedonia? It's something I've suffered with for some years and want to approach my doctor regarding it specifically.
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Mar 13, 2023 00:57
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Flipswitch posted:Does anyone have any advice regarding anhedonia? It's something I've suffered with for some years and want to approach my doctor regarding it specifically. I usually think of it as a symptom of depression, and that working on the depression helps with the anhedonia. I did some googling and reading today, and it's associated with all kinds of other stuff too. Some medications can make it worse (like sexual side-effects). It sounds like the best treatment is going to vary based on the underlying cause, which can apparently include all kinds of stuff like heart disease, Parkinson's, drug use, anorexia, etc. Everybody's different, but I find having a social component to something helps me. As long as it involves people who help lift me up. I know that's not particularly helpful if you don't want to be around others at the time, or if you're simply not feeling up to it. Anhedonia can also mean not getting anything out of social interactions, too. It's a lovely catch-22 that anhedonia makes you not want to do the things that are supposed to help with depression. It's extra demoralizing to actually do the recommended things and not feel anything from it. You can't go wrong talking to your doctor about it. I'll give the usual plug that we've all heard before: if you don't already have them, try to get a good psychiatrist and therapist. Best of luck to you. Years of anhedonia is awful. In other news, my psych NP highly recommended a local counseling services organization. I looked them up, and they have 2/5 stars on yelp, with tons of reviews citing all kinds of specific and lovely things. Supposedly, the owner of the group threatened to sue someone for not taking a negative review down lol Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 02:22 on Mar 13, 2023 |
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Mar 13, 2023 02:17
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Decided to escape from all my problems by playing Civ IV all weekend and it worked for pretty much exactly 48 hours E: decided to reach out to a friend and confirmed that it's normal to have massive existential crises in late 20s/ early 30s and decided to call it the Crisis of the Third Decade StashAugustine has issued a correction as of 04:35 on Mar 13, 2023 |
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Mar 13, 2023 02:57
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StashAugustine posted:
 I’ve been going through them since like 28 with them increasing in frequency and severity.Like, I miss high school even though at the time I knew I had to move on and wanted to leave and never had that great of a time.
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Mar 13, 2023 07:36
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Anhedonia for me is a high-level sign/symptom that I've lost control over my depression. As mentioned medication is an obvious alternative etiology, a bit ironic given that its particularly the case for antidepressants. It could also be caused by a more general ennui or despair, like a thing that has sometimes helped me with anhedonia specifically is mixing up my routine - even as simple as like changing what video games I'm playing.StashAugustine posted:Decided to escape from all my problems by playing Civ IV all weekend and it worked for pretty much exactly 48 hours Cute. And yeah I'm currently in the process of trying to figure out how much of my current life to burn down because the idea of trying to live like I currently live indefinitely is a lot scarier to me than most of the alternatives.
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Mar 13, 2023 08:30
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Thanks both. I'm going to speak to my Dr about it today. I've been on anti depressants for years which I don't have a problem with but I'm at a stage where I really want to try to solve some of the issues or learn to cope with them better. I've felt a general ennui for a long time now but not apathy. So I look forward to things (albeit muted) but drive minimal pleasure from them. I've been finding counselling extremely helpful but exhausting. Very large strides in the last few weeks but it's a ways to go.
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Mar 13, 2023 09:53
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skooma512 posted:
I miss high school sometimes too, even though I was anxiety ridden for a good chunk of that time. I had no real responsibilities and all my problems were huge nothingburgers in hindsight. Oh no, my dream school rejected me? Guess I’ll go to cc and save a shitton of cash then go to a state school and be eligible for the exact same jobs as I would with a BA from some fancy private school. I can’t get a date? Oh no, I missed out on a relationship that would’ve ended after graduation anyway. Etc. I occasionally get those “what the gently caress am I doing with my life” moments. Having kids and convincing myself that careers are overrated has helped with that.
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Mar 13, 2023 14:32
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