Sumo: Through Banana Canada, we have all now vicariously been to Meatland. (page 68)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Sumo: Through Banana Canada, we have all now vicariously been to Meatland. (page 68)

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Shodai?
	Shodai
	SHODAI

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Bentai posted:

https://twitter.com/SumoFollower/status/1630152192194748418

Hakuko kinda checked Hokuseiho a bit.

That isn't a checking so much as cold blooded murder.

# ? Feb 27, 2023 23:52

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# ? May 20, 2024 18:50

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

MyChemicalImbalance posted:

Is that Akiseyama? I didn't think I'd recognize Tobizaru but I got him straight away lmao great find, some real good shots in there.

That's the one! Thanks so much. It was right on the tip of my tongue. :tipshat:

I wonder how many of those younger, skinnier kids stuck with the sport.

# ? Feb 27, 2023 23:58

Lucasar: Jan 25, 2005; save a few for lefty too

Lid posted:

That isn't a checking so much as cold blooded murder.

Hakuho would see his response as a compliment. Basically straight up saying how high his expectations are for the big lad. And trying to make sure he isn't complacent. We already have one Ichinojo.

# ? Feb 28, 2023 01:10

Thauros: Jan 29, 2003

it's kinda crazy how sumo is the one sport where you can have a retired from active competition athlete now working as head coach who could still kick the rear end of any his professional athletes at that sport

# ? Feb 28, 2023 02:37

Lucasar: Jan 25, 2005; save a few for lefty too

Thauros posted:

it's kinda crazy how sumo is the one sport where you can have a retired from active competition athlete now working as head coach who could still kick the rear end of any his professional athletes at that sport

I don't think Hakuho is a representative case here because he started taking over Miyagino before retiring, taking an active hand in recruitment and training even while competing. This means he begins stablemaster life considerably ahead of the curve.

Normal retiring wrestlers spend way more time nursing up a squad of younger guys while at the same time they get farther and farther from competition shape, so by the time they get a sekitori in their charge it isn't likely they would be able to beat them.

For example, compare Hakuho with Kotooshu, who retired from in-ring competition in 2014 and has only recently got a single guy up into juryo. Kotooshu can probably still beat his low rankers, but after almost a decade out of deliberately training up a sumo body he probably would struggle with Oshoma.

# ? Feb 28, 2023 07:05

Beeswax: Dec 29, 2005; Grimey Drawer

net work error posted:

Do you have a link or code to the discord?

https://discord.gg/nattosumo

# ? Feb 28, 2023 22:49

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

ive had a couple drinks and have been going through what sumo content there is on youtube and i just learned about Takanoyama. wtf that guy was badass

it was this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m12naI8AWk4

# ? Mar 7, 2023 00:05

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

Less than a week until sumo :woop:

# ? Mar 7, 2023 01:16

Nativity In Black: Oct 24, 2012; If you're gonna have roads, you're gonna have roadkill.

I've learned from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f5mkiU6P-o that apparently it's still up in the air if Teru will be there at this basho. IMO, if he's not there, Takakeisho has a very good chance of promoting. It's very strange to hear this video discuss whether keisho is in 'Yokozuna Form' when it seems that the YDC is basically begging him to give them something they can promote on.

# ? Mar 7, 2023 03:13

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016

I am lost without tochinoshin

# ? Mar 7, 2023 09:36

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:

Less than a week until sumo

It sure is! And that means it's time for fantasy!

code:

Terunofuji 	 Yokozuna	
		  Ozeki		Takakeisho
Wakatakakage    Sekiwake 1	Hoshoryu
Kiribayama	Sekiwake 2	
Wakamotoharu 	Komusubi 1	Kotonowaka
Daieisho	Kumusubi 2	Tobizaru
Tamawashi	   M1		Shodai
Abi		   M2		Ryuden
Mitakeumi	   M3		Nishikigi
Onosho		   M4		Meisei
Kotoshoho	   M5		Midorifuji
Endo		   M6		Sadanoumi
Hokutofuji 	   M7		Takayasu
Ichiyamamoto	   M8		Ura
Aoiyama		   M9		Hiradoumi
Myogiryu	   M10		Nishikifuji
Azumaryu	   M11		Takanosho
Kagayaki	   M12		Takarafuji
Daishoho	   M13		Kotoeko
Kinbozan	   M14		Bushozan
Hokuseiho	   M15		Oho
Chiyoshoma	   M16		Tsurugisho
Mitoryu		   M17

I haven't done the goonzuke yet for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that I'm getting married in May and my brain is completely scattered. I intend to have it ready by the the start of Haru, at the least. On that note, I won't be able to run fantasy for Natsu, since the basho runs May 14-28, and I'm getting married on the 20th, and my mind will be...elsewhere. I've had a couple requests to share my spreadsheet, and despite my reservations about how truly awful some of my hacks are, I'll try to get a clean version out to someone before May, so hopefully someone else can run fantasy that month. If not, we've missed basho before, although not since 2020, and I'll be able to gambarize by Nagoya (god willing).

Despite all the gloom around the copyright striking of our favorite Youtube sumoers, this is an exciting basho! We're finally seeing Hokuseiho, Kinbozan, and Bushozan in Makuuchi for the first time, which is quite the freshman class! The san'yaku situation has some intrigue as well � Takakeisho can get the belt with a yusho, while Kiribayama and Hoshoryu are arguably on ozeki runs if they put up spectacular numbers (ideally 14-1 yusho, realistically). The joi is very frothy, with 4 yusho winners, including 2 ex-ozeki, in the top of the maegashira, as well as the young phenoms Kotoshoho and Midorifuji. I suspect this will be a heavily contested draft.

Okay, enough chatterboxing. I suspect that Teru will be kyujo, but I'm not certain and I don't know anyone else who will be, so please chime in if you have more up-to-date information and I'll add it to the post.

Please enter your draft in the following format:

Y/O:
rikishi1
rikishi2
rikishi3

S/K:
rikishi1
rikishi2
rikishi3

M1-5:
rikishi1
rikishi2
rikishi3

M6-10:
rikishi1
rikishi2
rikishi3

M11+:
rikishi1
rikishi2
rikishi3

If you've never played Fantasy before, check out the rules. In brief: just choose 3 guys at each rank, and you'll be drafted a team of dudes. That's all you really need to do, although you can trade during the first week if you want (most people don't). It's really fun and helps you get more familiar with lower-ranked guys.

I hope people brave the new world of sumo-watching and continue our fantasy tradition. It's one of the delights of being a sumo fan! Hakkeyoi!

# ? Mar 7, 2023 10:50

Average Lettuce: Oct 22, 2012

yay!

(Assuming that if Terunofuji doesn't make it, we just get Takakeisho by default)

Y/O:
Terunofuji
Takakeisho
-

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Kiribayama
Wakatakakage

M1-5:
Midorifuji
Kotoshoho
Tamawashi

M6-10:
Takayasu
Hokutofuji
Sadanoumi

M11+:
Oho
Hokuseiho
Kinbozan

Edit - Congrats on the wedding!

Average Lettuce fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Mar 7, 2023

# ? Mar 7, 2023 11:00

Dead Goon: Dec 13, 2002; No Obvious Flaws

OMG lets go!

Y/O:
Terunofuji
Takakeisho

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Daieisho
Hoshoryu

M1-5:
Abi
Nishikigi
Shodai

M6-10:
Hokutofuji
Aoiyama
Takayasu

M11+:
Takarafuji
Oho
Chiyoshoma

# ? Mar 7, 2023 11:13

Single Tight Female: Jan 17, 2008

Congrats on the upcoming nuptials, and once again thanks for running this!

Y/O:
Terunofuji
Takakeisho

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Hoshoryu
Tobizaru

M1-5:
SHODAI
Abi
Nishikigi

M6-10:
Endo
Ura
Ichiyamamoto

M11+:
Takanosho
Kotoeko
Kinbozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 12:06

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

Hell yeah, getting married owns. Enjoy!

My brand of fantasy sumo will not be changed.

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Wakamotoharu
Hoshoryu

M1-5:
Onosho
Ryuden
Abi

M6-M10:
Ichiyamamoto
Ura
Hiradoumi

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Kinbozan
Bushozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 12:22

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Y/O:
Hakuho
Terunofuji
Takakeisho

S/K:
Kotonowaka
Wakamotoharu
Hoshoryu

M1-5:
Shodai
Tamawashi
Onosho

M6-10:
Nishikifuji
Ichiyamamoto
Endo

M11+:
Kinbozan
Bushozan
Hokuseiho

# ? Mar 7, 2023 13:07

net work error: Feb 26, 2011

Congrats Kenning!

# ? Mar 7, 2023 13:37

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

May is a beautiful time of year to get married and celebrate your anniversary. Cheers!

# ? Mar 7, 2023 13:44

Brut: Aug 21, 2007; Can't post for 19 days!

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Wakatakakage
Wakamotoharu

M1-5:
Mitakeumi
Midorifuji
Tamawashi

M6-10:
Takayasu
Hokutofuji
Nishikifuji

M11+:
Kinbozan
Bushozan
Hokuseiho

# ? Mar 7, 2023 15:10

Robviously: Aug 21, 2010; Genius. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist.

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Daieisho
Wakatakakage
Kotonowaka

M1-5:
Kotoshoho
Shodai
Abi

M6-10:
Endo
Sadanoumi
Ura

M11+:
Daishoho
Takanosho
Kotoeko

Congrats on the upcoming nuptials Kenning and thanks for all your hard work!

# ? Mar 7, 2023 15:41

ullerrm: Dec 31, 2012; Oh, the network slogan is true -- "watch FOX and be damned for all eternity!"

Thanks and congrats Kenning!

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji
-

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Wakatakakage
Kotonowaka

M1-5:
Midorifuji
Kotoshoho
Tamawashi

M6-10:
Sadanoumi
Takayasu
Nishikifuji

M11+:
Kotoeko
Kinbozan
Bushozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 15:55

Saturnine Aberrance: Sep 6, 2010; Creator. Please make me flesh.

Congrats Kenning! Thanks for running this as always.

Y/O
- Takakeisho
- Terunofuji (I have so little faith he'll show I forgot to list him)

S/K
- Kiribayama
- Wakamotoharu
- Hoshoryu

M1-5
- Tamawashi
- Nishikigi
- Onosho

M6-10
- Takayasu
- Hiradoumi
- Ura

M11+
- Kinbozan
- Kotoeko
- Bushozan

Saturnine Aberrance fucked around with this message at 16:23 on Mar 7, 2023

# ? Mar 7, 2023 16:17

Bentai: Jul 8, 2004; NERF THIS!

Congrats Kenning!

Y/O:
Terunofuji
Takakeisho

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Tobizaru
Kotonowaka

M1-5:
Ryuden
Tamawashi
Shodai

M6-10:
Hokutofuji
Takayasu
Ura

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Daishoho
Kagayaki

# ? Mar 7, 2023 17:24

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Takakeisho
Takakeisho

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Hoshoryu
Wakamotoharu

M1-5:
Ryuden
Onosho
Kotoshoho

M6-10:
Takayasu
Ura
Endo

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Daishoho
Takarafuji

# ? Mar 7, 2023 18:14

MyChemicalImbalance: Sep 15, 2007; Keep on smilin'

congrats Kenning!

And thanks again, I am hungry for success and prepared for failure.

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Wakatakakage
Wakamotoharu

M1-5:
Midorifuji
Mitakeumi

Tamawashi

M6-10:
Takayasu
Ura

Nishikifuji

M11+:
Takanosho
Kinbozan
Bushozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 18:17

pseudodragon: Jun 16, 2007

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Kotonowaka
Hoshoryu
Wakamotoharu

M1-5:
Mitakuemi
Kotoshoho
Onosho

M6-10:
Takayasu
Ura
Endo

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Oho
Takanosho

Congrats Kenning!

Picks:
Y/O: Even if Teru was guaranteed in, gotta go with the Yoko run
S/K: Koto/Hosho was a tough choice between 2 faves
M1-5: Mira is better than this, right? He was so consistent for so long he's gotta bounce back...
M6-10: only question is if Takayasu is fully healed, but if he isn't, he's at least going to get a Yusho run in May from the teens
M11+: Hokuseiho is going to be the popular pick but it's fun to watch the newbie.

I need a new Ozeki to get in just because it's hard to make gimmick teams when the Y/O spot is locked and I've run out of Takakeisho based ideas.

# ? Mar 7, 2023 18:32

captainblastum: Dec 1, 2004

Congrats Kenning!

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji
-

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Hoshoryu
Tobizaru

M1-5:
Nishikigi
Tamawashi
Kotoshoho

M6-10:
Ura
Endo
Sadanoumi

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Kinbozan
Bushozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 19:19

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Y/O:
Terunofuji
Takakeisho

S/K:
Tobizaru
Kotonowaka
Wakatakakage

M1-5:
Kotoshoho
Tamawashi
Onosho

M6-10:
Ura
Ichiyamamoto
Nishikifuji

M11+:
Oho
Kotoeko
Takanosho

# ? Mar 7, 2023 19:36

Boogalo: Jul 8, 2012; Meep Meep

This one should be fun.

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Kiribayama
Kotonowaka

M1-5:
Kotoshoho
Shodai
Tamawashi

M6-10:
Hokutofuji
Ura
Ichiyamamoto

M11+:
Oho
Hokuseiho
Bushozan

Boogalo fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Mar 7, 2023

# ? Mar 7, 2023 19:44

Beeswax: Dec 29, 2005; Grimey Drawer

pseudodragon posted:

M1-5: Mira is better than this, right? He was so consistent for so long he's gotta bounce back...

6 straight make-koshis seems very consistent to me!

# ? Mar 7, 2023 20:04

Akiosan: May 21, 2005; We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country.

Sad day when I can't choose Tochinoshin. Hopefully next tourney!

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Kiribayama
Hoshoryu
Tobizaru

M1-5:
Onosho
Tamawashi
Abi

M6-10:
Endo
Hiradoumi
Aoiyama

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Oho
Takarafuji

Edit: Congrats Kenning!

# ? Mar 7, 2023 20:05

bartolimu: Nov 25, 2002

Congrats Kenning! I hope the planning goes well. Try to relax and enjoy the day - it can be easy to get too caught up in making sure everything is perfect.

I'll be at a convention for the first weekend and struggling to make time to watch, but I have confidence enough to build a team that can auto-pilot me to something resembling kachi-koshi. At least it'll be hard to do worse than I did last basho.

Y/O:
Terunofuji on the off chance he isn't kyujo
Takakeisho

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Wakamotoharu
Kotonowaka

M1-5:
Kotoshoho
Onosho
Midorifuji

M6-10:
Papayasu
Hokutofuji
AOIYAMA

M11+:
Oho
Hokuseiho
Kinbozan

It's interesting to see my two least favorite rikshi sharing M2 and two of my faves sharing M7. I sincerely hope those positions reverse after this basho, but I suppose the shitheads will continue to climb.

# ? Mar 7, 2023 20:10

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Tobizaru
Kiribayama

M1-5:
Shodai
Meisei
Nishikigi

M6-10:
Aoiyama
Ura
Takayasu

M11+:
Kotoeko
Hokuseiho
Takarafuji

# ? Mar 7, 2023 20:40

Fearless: Sep 3, 2003; DRINK MORE MOXIE

Congratulations, Kenning! The Spring is indeed a fine time to get married-- my wife and I will be celebrating our sixth anniversary in late April, so we can speak with some authority on the subject.

Anyways I have decided to hop in to fantasy sumo for this basho and here are my picks:

Y/O
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K
Hoshoryu
Kiribayama
Wakatakakage

M1-5
Abi
Onosho
Shodai

M6-11
Hokutofuji
Ura
Aoiyama

M11+
Hokuseiho
Oho
Takarafuji

# ? Mar 7, 2023 20:45

Ben Nerevarine: Apr 14, 2006

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Tobizaru
Wakatakakage

M1-5:
Tamawashi
Onosho
Midorifuji

M6-10:
Ura
Hokutofuji
Hiradoumi

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Takanosho
Kotoeko

# ? Mar 7, 2023 21:25

Chinook: Apr 11, 2006; SHODAI

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Kiribayama
Daiesho
Wakatakakage

M1-5:
Kotoshoho
Tamawashi
Nishikigi

M6-10:
Aoiyama
Hiradoumi
Ura

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Bushozan
Kinbozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 22:22

do it on my face: Feb 6, 2005; °

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Wakamotoharu
Wakatakakage

M1-5:
Abi
Midorifuji
Kotoshoho

M6-10:
Hiradoumi
Endo
Sadanoumi

M11+:
Daishoho
Kinbozan
Bushozan

# ? Mar 7, 2023 22:41

Log082: Nov 8, 2008

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji
Shodai

S/K:
Hoshoryu
Wakamotoharu
Wakatakakage

M1-5:
Shodai
Onosho
Tamawashi

M6-10:
Ura
Endo
Ichiyamamoto

M11+:
Oho
Hokuseiho
Chiyoshoma

Congrats on the wedding!

# ? Mar 8, 2023 01:06

LlamaTrauma: Jan 12, 2005; Well here I am
Drunk in Heaven
Kinda seems redundant

Y/O:
Takakeisho
Terunofuji

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Tobizaru
Hoshoryu

M1-5:
Midorifuji
Abi
Mitakeumi

M6-10:
Endo
Takayasu
Aoiyama

M11+:
Hokuseiho
Takanosho
Takarafuji

# ? Mar 8, 2023 02:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 20, 2024 18:50

Khizan: Jul 30, 2013

Y/O:
Takakeisho

S/K:
Wakatakakage
Wakamotoharu
Hoshoryu

M1-5:
Onosho
Abi
Kotoshoho

M6-10:
Nishikifuji
Sadanoumi
Myogiryu

M11+:
Kagayaki
Daishoho
Kinbozan

Khizan fucked around with this message at 05:51 on Mar 10, 2023

# ? Mar 8, 2023 02:34

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Sumo: Through Banana Canada, we have all now vicariously been to Meatland. (page 68)

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