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cynic posted:We had someone take over 40 days last year, and we get poo poo done and our boss, and his boss know it. But yeah, in general this kind of PTO is a scam. This why I actively “force” everyone on my team to take at least one day off a month. I told them, up front, that I will blanket-approve any and all time-off requests that don’t leave the team struggling. I had to explain to the bright-eyed new hires why unlimited “planned time off” only ever benefits the company, and to take advantage as much as possible; so long as they’re getting their work done and meeting expectations, I don’t care from where or how few hours they work. Then again, my proclivity for focusing on results rather getting people to commute to and then sit in an office for 8 hours a day for no reason may be a factor in my being laid off at the end of the month …
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Mar 22, 2023 10:10
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My employer has decided to consolidate our campus from two buildings down to one. This is probably reasonable, since a huge amount of the workforce moved away during COVID (or just plain got used to working from home). And, to the corporate overlords' credit, there hasn't been a forced return-to-office. They did choose to move us all into the older building with old furniture and low-wall cubes though, because of course they did. However, despite their own communications highlighting that there's an average occupancy of 229 and the sole remaining building has 550 workstations, they're forcing everyone to hot-desk. Managers and senior managers lose their offices and also have to participate in this first-come-first-serve bullshit. My department's "clean out" date is 3 APR and we're not allowed to move into our new location until 29 MAY. Oh - and all of the workstations will be "standardized" to two monitors and a docking station (no word on whether mice and keyboards are included). Have a non-standard setup, like a standing desk? You're SOL.
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Mar 22, 2023 14:23
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Work sent out a fancy email saying that they’re going to be doing 3 days “return to office” now and isn’t that nice? Meanwhile I’m sitting at the west side of the country, and all the work I support is either on the east side of the country or in the freaking Caribbean. I have literally nobody in the office to talk to about what I do. Thankfully, knock on wood, they haven’t bothered with us out here yet. Now if they paid for flights to the Caribbean I would absolutely go into the office there. And by office I mean hotel room with an ocean view.
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Mar 22, 2023 15:35
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cynic posted:We had someone take over 40 days last year, and we get poo poo done and our boss, and his boss know it. But yeah, in general this kind of PTO is a scam. Yup, it's basically a loophole for employers to avoid paying out any banked PTO to employees when they quit/get fired
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Mar 22, 2023 20:45
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Love to be invited to a 2 day meeting 15 minutes before it starts
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Mar 22, 2023 20:56
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Oh, sorry, I missed that invite.
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Mar 22, 2023 20:58
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When I worked hotel night audit, I would tell management I was never coming to staff meetings and to just send me a memo to read.
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Mar 22, 2023 23:39
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Stupid piece of poo poo temperature probe in the mash tun will shoot up like ten degrees then drop back down suddenly. loving Christ. Been asking for a thermometer
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Mar 23, 2023 03:19
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Escape From Noise posted:Stupid piece of poo poo temperature probe in the mash tun will shoot up like ten degrees then drop back down suddenly. loving Christ. Been asking for a thermometer Check that you're not warming up the cold junction on your measuring device. The temperature of the device will be added to the temperature that's read from the thermocouple.
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Mar 23, 2023 03:26
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cynic posted:I WFH and absolutely will crack open a beer or bottle of wine 4pm on a Friday while still working if it's been a hard week. But I work smart and have my work laptop elevated so any spills miss it. One dickhead building contractor I was doing casual hours for didn't want to pay overtime. First he just said 'we don't do overtime, you get time off instead', which is dumb as gently caress because I was casual so I'd just be working for free. Then he says 'well if you're going to bill overtime we'll have to reduce your pay for those days to even it out'. Which was even dumber because that would drive me below minimum wage. For some reason I stopped getting hours. And then I heard that one of his workers was spreading a rumor I was trying to scam the company somehow. Never work for a building company or housing developer. Dickheads one and all.
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Mar 23, 2023 03:32
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There's currently a manhunt going on because someone who was displeased with merit increases this year, uh.... Printed a Jerry Maguire "Show me the money" meme and set them out on a bunch of tables? Like, an executive wants their head and is demanding security camera footage be pulled. Gonna go out on a limb and say if you can't handle a milquetoast meme like that, you absolutely do not have the spine to be in any kind of authority over anyone.
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Mar 23, 2023 04:21
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Cthulu Carl posted:There's currently a manhunt going on because someone who was displeased with merit increases this year, uh.... Printed a Jerry Maguire "Show me the money" meme and set them out on a bunch of tables? Like, an executive wants their head and is demanding security camera footage be pulled. Lol that's such a bland act of rebellion to crack down on. They're just going to highlight the issue and encourage further mutinies
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Mar 23, 2023 04:35
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Someone's gonna go full nuclear with The Goat Man.
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Mar 23, 2023 04:37
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Cthulu Carl posted:There's currently a manhunt going on because someone who was displeased with merit increases this year, uh.... Printed a Jerry Maguire "Show me the money" meme and set them out on a bunch of tables? Like, an executive wants their head and is demanding security camera footage be pulled. My country had a huge court saga with appeals about a worker who made a Downfall meme, which wasn't even posted in the company. (It was circulated in a private facebook page/group.) Obviously in this case the management were Nazis so when the guy was fired the decision was originally upheld by some crusty judges. In the end the guy got his job back and got paid his equivalent lost wages for the duration. https://healthlegal.com.au/current-news/nazi-meme-not-grounds-employees-downfall/
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Mar 23, 2023 06:04
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As happy as I am for spring, I'm gonna miss brewing in the winter. Didn't have to use the CLT, even for lagers!
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Mar 23, 2023 08:52
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I just wished for once in my career that I get a project manager that knows what the hell they are doing. Currently I am on a payroll project because my company is standardizing all the warehouse office staff policies. The only problem is that the project manager does not understand that payroll is done differently depending on the province and the working conditions of individual sites. She will drag people into teams meetings, ask for our feedback and then shoot down every single point we bring up. Then we get a email about changes that starts a email chain of all the issues from various sites who are testing it. Then the project manager goes radio silence for a month, comes back with changes that make more work, then call us into another meeting that resolves nothing. I am so glad the project manager is leaving the company next month because she is loving brutal.
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Mar 23, 2023 13:43
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Termyie posted:I just wished for once in my career that I get a project manager that knows what the hell they are doing. As someone who both has to deal with project managers and is also a project manager, I can offer you the following: Lol Lmao Rofl Hope that helps
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Mar 23, 2023 15:02
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Outrail posted:As someone who both has to deal with project managers and is also a project manager, I can offer you the following: Can I touch base with you on project requirements? We need to have internal alignment.
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Mar 23, 2023 15:14
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I think the Meme Guy got caught. A manager swung by and said "I got an employee getting terminated and today is their last day, do I just drop the equipment off here?" Five minutes later, just after 9 AM, he comes back with a dude, drop off the monitor and dock and then the other dude - who was in the middle of a Teams call - sits on the couch outside our area and starts saying hi s good bye before hanging the computer over. May he got aced for something else, but that seemed VERY abrupt and unplanned, as if being done by fiat from someone much higher up....
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Mar 23, 2023 15:14
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The invisible hand of the free market yeeted him out of there. We should all be so lucky
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Mar 23, 2023 15:18
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You should have asked him if he was the meme guy, and then taken his photo for the wall of heroes/undesirables.
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Mar 23, 2023 15:21
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We're having a team discussion on if we should get into his computer and try to locate the Illicit Meme.
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Mar 23, 2023 15:23
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That's when you know your meme game is strong
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Mar 23, 2023 16:16
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If you find it, have someone else spread it around so management thinks they got the wrong person
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Mar 23, 2023 16:16
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Team that hosted giant meeting with no purpose is pleased they’ve gotten mostly positive feedback on a Google Form they set up. Might be because the Google Form required logging in with no mention of anonymity.
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Mar 23, 2023 16:26
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i used to take shits in a solo stall private bathroom that no one really knew where it was because our office layout was huge and insane. it was dope, and had mouthwash, those little disposable floss things, and was never used by anyone else so you didn't have to deal with the stank of poo poo. well it turns out that little bathroom and little coffee bar area was apparently for some 2nd tier executives of some subordinate company we owned (those execs were usually off site). there were no signs anywhere that indicated this exclusivity. i learned this because... one day I see the head corporate security dude huffing and puffing around our floor - looking for someone. big old bald retired cop looking dude, hard to miss. he ends up right at my desk, and starts grilling my neighbor about something. i was away from my desk at the time and he stormed off after talking to my neighbors, but I could see this whole interaction from where I was. when i returned to my desk my neighbor said 'hey the security dude was looking for you'. Ok...'did he say what he wanted?'....'nope, just that he was looking for you'. i figured someone hit my car in the parking garage and he would come back, so whatever no big deal i didn't do anything or follow up. then 15 minutes later an email goes out to the entire 4000 person HQ, explaining all the details about WHO SHOULD NOT BE USING THE EXECUTIVE COFFEE BAR AND BATHROOM ON FLOOR 4. i guess they pulled the security video to track me down and find out who was making GBS threads in their executive toilet lol. they also put a sign up on the door and changed the door knob to require a key. no one ever specifically talked to me though lol (other than security's first attempt) thats my story about making GBS threads in the c-suite commode Captain Beans fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Mar 23, 2023 |
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Mar 23, 2023 17:19
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Haha gently caress them.
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Mar 23, 2023 17:31
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Now assume that is a comprehensive list of where you are not allowed to poo poo.
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Mar 23, 2023 17:54
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Captain Beans posted:i . Lmao that's funny as hell. https://youtu.be/mWA-0ABiJ4A
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Mar 23, 2023 17:55
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Salami Surgeon posted:Now assume that is a comprehensive list of where you are not allowed to poo poo. Looks like this email raised a stink
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Mar 23, 2023 17:56
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The dude who handles PC support for the executives came down and "advised" us to not make jokes about The Meme for a week. We didn't make the meme, was he saying we'll get in trouble for talking about it? No, we won't get in trouble but "someone" might get mad. Which means we'd be in trouble, though. Well, turns out he knows some things, but can't really tell us. This went back and forth until we just started asking what his point even was, who even gives advice like " You need to be careful talking around someone. Can't say who though" and he got all huffy and left. I suspect he is the one who ratted to The Meme Police.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:01
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That security guard is a hypocrite, the best part about being a security guard is pooping in the executive washroom(s) on the night shift.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:02
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Poldarn posted:That security guard is a hypocrite, the best part about being a security guard is pooping in the executive washroom(s) on the night shift. Our daytime security guard (who is just a receptionist with keys) has taken to wearing a punisher cap and I start every day of work trying to keep from rolling my eyes out of my goddamned head
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Mar 23, 2023 18:11
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Captain Beans posted:thats my story about making GBS threads in the c-suite commode Sneak back in and piss in the mouthwash
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Mar 23, 2023 18:12
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Hahahha wow, heard a second hand story that at billionaire Paul Allen’s island estate workers were treated fine and paid above average local wages, but did have to be aware of some oddness. A maintenance worker needed to fix something in Allen’s private office bathroom and was working on the project when someone ran in to alert his crew that Allen’s motorcade had arrived early and they needed to run, as Allen never wanted to see any maintenance staff in his office and being spotted meant instant termination, even if they were there doing scheduled work, so the worker had to stop what he was doing and get out of there pronto.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:13
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Hahahha wow, heard a second hand story that at billionaire Paul Allen’s island estate workers were treated fine and paid above average local wages, but did have to be aware of some oddness. A maintenance worker needed to fix something in Allen’s private office bathroom and was working on the project when someone ran in to alert his crew that Allen’s motorcade had arrived early and they needed to run, as Allen never wanted to see any maintenance staff in his office and being spotted meant instant termination, even if they were there doing scheduled work, so the worker had to stop what he was doing and get out of there pronto. Guessing they were then fired for leaving the maintenance work incomplete.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:15
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Captain Beans posted:then 15 minutes later an email goes out to the entire 4000 person HQ, explaining all the details about WHO SHOULD NOT BE USING THE EXECUTIVE COFFEE BAR AND BATHROOM ON FLOOR 4. i guess they pulled the security video to track me down and find out who was making GBS threads in their executive toilet lol. they also put a sign up on the door and changed the door knob to require a key.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:20
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Print out the meme and stick it on the executive's rear windscreen (assuming there's no cameras)
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Mar 23, 2023 18:24
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I asked my VP what the company's direction is, because our department is talking about direction X but the C-levels are talking about diametrically opposed direction Y. "The company's direction is to be profitable." He then gives me babby's first explanation of Private Equity, finishing with "does that make sense?". Love getting insulted and not having my question answered at the same time.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:32
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Print it out at home. If you have an office nemesis, print it out using their office computer.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:39
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