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I'm imagining an Office-like sitcom about corporate security dopes and a series-long running gag is that someone goes into the regular bathrooms, puts on a disguise of some sort, then sneaks over to the executive toilets to crap in those. But there's always someone or something blocking the security cameras' view of their face and no one ever remembers seeing a gorilla/power-ranger/etc for whatever tangentially related reason linked to the rest of the episode's plot. The disguisee is always seen sneaking around in the background of one scene every show. It's such a clear vision, I must have seen this before...
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Mar 23, 2023 18:43
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 12:20 |
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Roumba posted:I'm imagining an Office-like sitcom about corporate security dopes and a series-long running gag is that someone goes into the regular bathrooms, puts on a disguise of some sort, then sneaks over to the executive toilets to crap in those. But there's always someone or something blocking the security cameras' view of their face and no one ever remembers seeing a gorilla/power-ranger/etc for whatever tangentially related reason linked to the rest of the episode's plot. The disguisee is always seen sneaking around in the background of one scene every show. I Think You Should Leave had a sketch about Tim hiring a coworker’s lookalike to use the office bathroom.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:47
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At my last job we had a couple of single occupancy bathrooms with an attached shower and a few lockers. Very convenient for biking into work like I'd always do. Except people would love to take some long nasty shits in there all the time. I get it, private, nobody bugging you. But the other bathrooms are literally 30ft down the hallway. It was probably a dumb concept anyways. After a couple of years of waiting outside the occupied bathroom and staring down the exiting shitter in my sweaty bike clothes didn't really work - I'm dumb - I just kept my change of clothes elsewhere and change in any available bathroom.
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Mar 23, 2023 18:58
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armpit_enjoyer posted:Print it out at home. If you have an office nemesis, print it out using their office computer. Print it out at home, tape it to the inside of every stall in the men's/women's rooms.
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Mar 23, 2023 19:26
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armpit_enjoyer posted:Print it out at home. If you have an office nemesis, print it out using their office computer. We have a printer that not officially part of the network and I'm pretty sure isn't officially approved, lol
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Mar 23, 2023 19:32
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You gotta fax it! They'll be all"holy poo poo a fax is coming in! I wonder who is faxing us?!" Then when they go check the fax machine it's.....the meme!
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Mar 23, 2023 20:35
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I'm not expecting anyone to remember the full swing of poo poo in my job lately so: I started a new position with the company on February 1st; I was specifically recruited to the job to manage all the procurement steps for the program with the idea that I would eventually be tapped to run a program sometime after this. Two weeks ago the person who pulled me in, my boss' boss, called and told me I would be moving to cover a gap in a sister program that is ending soon due to headcount issues. Since then my boss' boss has found that the specific thing he was signing me up for is a giant gap in our processes leaving us open to a ton of liabilities and compliance issues. As of yesterday he's going to be turning me into a one person team who handles that process for our entire business unit while trying to reform and standardize the process so we could pass an audit if required. I'm actually really excited for this because the particular process the company is using was one I was attempting to reform about a year ago and I came up with a few ideas during the call about the change over, so that's more a "smart things your work does" moment. At the same time, I dare you to find another company of our size and stature that would have someone change job descriptions three times in two months. Twice in two weeks for the last set.
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Mar 23, 2023 21:14
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Lazyfire posted:I'm not expecting anyone to remember the full swing of poo poo in my job lately so: I started a new position with the company on February 1st; I was specifically recruited to the job to manage all the procurement steps for the program with the idea that I would eventually be tapped to run a program sometime after this. Two weeks ago the person who pulled me in, my boss' boss, called and told me I would be moving to cover a gap in a sister program that is ending soon due to headcount issues. Since then my boss' boss has found that the specific thing he was signing me up for is a giant gap in our processes leaving us open to a ton of liabilities and compliance issues. As of yesterday he's going to be turning me into a one person team who handles that process for our entire business unit while trying to reform and standardize the process so we could pass an audit if required. I'm actually really excited for this because the particular process the company is using was one I was attempting to reform about a year ago and I came up with a few ideas during the call about the change over, so that's more a "smart things your work does" moment. At the same time, I dare you to find another company of our size and stature that would have someone change job descriptions three times in two months. Twice in two weeks for the last set. Once you have held every job in the company you own the company, thats just science
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Mar 23, 2023 22:00
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It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. I was told they liked my enthusiasm for the task
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Mar 24, 2023 01:31
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Barudak posted:It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. Have you thought about sub contacting someone who has no idea what you're doing, where it why to take over sales? I'm not sure exactly what they want you to do.
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Mar 24, 2023 01:32
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Are you accepting applications? I can sell so little you won't believe it
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Mar 24, 2023 01:43
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Another day of High Priority Waiting, this time for the world’s simplest printed circuit board, one that I could reproduce on a breadboard given an hour and a half. Half the cleanroom is waiting for the same part, god help whoever brings it in, they’re gonna be torn to pieces by techs desperate to ship.
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Mar 24, 2023 01:48
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Barudak posted:It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. What is this Willy Wonka poo poo
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Mar 24, 2023 01:50
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Look this time we have plenty of stuff, but want to make sure the stuff goes to the perfect people. Whosever shall buy my product will be rightly crowned king of all england i guess.
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Mar 24, 2023 01:59
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Barudak posted:It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. So at what point are you going to swing by Nitori, grab a bed on the company dime, and set it up in your office to take naps on?
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Mar 24, 2023 02:03
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TaurusTorus posted:Another day of High Priority Waiting, this time for the world’s simplest printed circuit board, one that I could reproduce on a breadboard given an hour and a half. I’m imagining that the walking dead music is just going to start playing as soon as they arrive.
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Mar 24, 2023 06:20
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Poldarn posted:That security guard is a hypocrite, the best part about being a security guard is pooping in the executive washroom(s) on the night shift. Can confirm, once worked at a prominent commercial high-rise and there was an unused floor with an executive washroom. As a plus, the toilet was positioned about three feet from the window. Dropping deuces on the ~42nd floor while looking out over San Francisco is a hell of an experience.
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Mar 24, 2023 14:34
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Barudak posted:It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. I learned about this technique that my company uses today. When someone emails the commercialsales@mycompany.com email address they tell them they can't get a quote. They direct them to our website to fill out a form for a quote. But then here's the smart part. No one from sales ever follows up and processes the quotes. It's basically a dead end on the website. We also have had millions of dollars in checks getting mailed to our old building that we sold in 2018. And just no one has followed up or changed the address apparently. Kinda shocking that we somehow are a multi billion dollar company when no one seems particularly good at what they do.
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Mar 24, 2023 15:43
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The biggest human win of technology over the last 50 years has been corporate jobs where you do nothing and nothing actually matters. There is so much abundance and prosperity, if you can make into a white collar world, no one is particularly good at anything because selling another 100 widgets is rather pointless My grandpa used to scale industrial buildings as an electrician, my dad worked on an offshore oil rig and I make little python programs that process excel files. Life is good
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Mar 24, 2023 16:11
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This morning I ended up on a call where one of the other team members showed us her quote response Excel sheet that is 200 lines long and 30 columns wide. I have a bunch of issues with how this was done and the Excel format, but that wasn't what I mentioned today. I noted that the sheet was parked in a public space with a generic name like "Special Projects Folder." Everyone in the company can get to this sheet and folder. Anyone could delete it by mistake or move it. We're on an NDA to be on this program and we can't talk about it to other people in the company unless they are under that NDA. This is a huge problem and I simply asked if she could move it to our team's private location on the server for security. I have no clue why this was such a problem, but she argued with me for ten minutes. I have no idea if she wasn't paying attention to what I was saying and thought that I was telling her to re-do the sheet or something, but she first said she would ask another manager in another part of the company to give us access to his password protected drive so we could move it there at first. Then when I explained my problem with the location again by just saying "Brenda, just...explain to me the actual objection to storing this in our own drive where only we can see or change it." Her response was "Oh, no I don't have any objections I can do that after this!" My boss then went into a 10 minute "we're a good team, everyone works to solve problems like this" speech because I think she could tell I was actively losing my mind over this.
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Mar 24, 2023 21:09
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dk2m posted:The biggest human win of technology over the last 50 years has been corporate jobs where you do nothing and nothing actually matters. There is so much abundance and prosperity, if you can make into a white collar world, no one is particularly good at anything because selling another 100 widgets is rather pointless And yet, somehow, the abundance and prosperity to allow people to support a family on one salary working 40h/wk has gotten ever more elusive. I'm not slaving away at the widget factory, but I'm also unable to own a home somewhere I actually want to live.
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Mar 24, 2023 22:12
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I watched/heard a good field exercise a couple of days ago. Survey team of 3 people: crew chief (CC), rod man (A) and his helper (B). This was all over radio comms: CC: "ok I see you guys moved to the other side of the fence now, what's your station #? (B): "196" CC: copy 196. What direction is your next station? Moving up or down line? (B): Toward 195. Down line CC: what station are you at now? (B): 196 CC: hey, A. Can you verify your station number and what's your next station and direction? (A) Confirmed currently at 196. Next station 195. Down line. CC: can someone count back to the previous station (this requires exiting one security gate and entering another, 30 minute exercise) and make sure that was Up Line? Me stepping in (frustrated at this literal binary question): "I'm on the other side of the security fence. I can see your crew right now. Their report is correct." CC: "hey B what's your station number?" At the end of the day I ended up by the CC's station. He had visual on them the entire time from his base. Literally watched them moving "left to right" all day.
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Mar 24, 2023 22:56
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I got called by my ICT upper management because I made a big mistake. Context: company with 15000+ employees divided in multiple business domains and ICT parties. Business: we want to have a custom made ICT solution for this problem. We want both an estimate from an external vendor and from our own ICT teams. Vendor: that'll be about 4 mil euro for both the front end and back end together, mostly because of how difficult it is to integrate with your systems. Back end ICT team (my team): our work is only 200k euro. It's so low because we can easily re-use an existing solution. Front end ICT team: our work is 4.4 mil euro. My mistake? Telling the business that they could consider getting an estimate from external vendors for the front end only and this is likely to be the cheapest solution. Apparently ICT management decided that they did not want to do this project because of strategic/politics reasons, so they pushed the front end team to give an estimate that's just slightly higher than the vendor costs. Obviously they couldn't have the estimate too high either, because then they'd look bad. We thought the front end team was stupid though, we did not realize they were acting under management directions. It's entirely possible an external estimate for the front end alone will be less than 1 mil euro, in which case upper management of the business could easily complain to the CEO that our internal ICT is incapable and too expensive. So while this suggestion could save our business 3 mil euro, it would also make the ICT management look bad. To make the situation even worse: ICT does not want to help business with getting this new estimate, but the chief of the business asked me directly to help him with this. Although none of my ICT management wants to say I'm not allowed to do so, they've made it very clear that I really shouldn't. As such, not only is the ICT management already unhappy with me, if I don't want to make them even more mad then I'll need to refuse a direct request from the head of our business (but I can't tell him I'm not allowed to either).
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Mar 24, 2023 23:07
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pumped up for school posted:I watched/heard a good field exercise a couple of days ago. Survey team of 3 people: crew chief (CC), rod man (A) and his helper (B). This was all over radio comms: Sounds like someone got a talking-to from the boss regarding how often they should check in on their team and is 'complying'
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Mar 25, 2023 00:30
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Volmarias posted:And yet, somehow, the abundance and prosperity to allow people to support a family on one salary working 40h/wk has gotten ever more elusive. I'm not slaving away at the widget factory, but I'm also unable to own a home somewhere I actually want to live. Oh I agree, the goal should be to protect bullshit corporate do nothing jobs by unionizing white collar workers because wages and pay have been steadily eroded over to the executives who also do nothing but claim to be job creators and then just siphon off the pie Imo, when rewatching something like Office Space now, it’s like - these guys are complaining with that nice, cushy life? The whole “soulless office existential dread” of the 90s seems honestly rather quaint now. Give me a TPS report job for fair pay and i will live a happy life
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Mar 25, 2023 00:31
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Barudak posted:It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. Have you tried...buying the items you're selling? Like you sell it and then go "But...I'll gladly buy it back for a 10% markup!" That way you un-sell the item!
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Mar 25, 2023 01:12
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I have a theory with Barudak: You know the Twilight Zone episode “A Nice Place to Visit”? The one where the guy dies and goes to a place where he always wins, only to find out it’s hell, and victory becomes boring? I think this is like that, only the devil is incompetent, and the torture isn’t working. In other news I’ve come to believe day shift just clocks in every day and spends 10 hours hiding important tools.
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Mar 25, 2023 01:43
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My theory is he's stopping something awful from being committed.
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Mar 25, 2023 01:56
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TaurusTorus posted:I have a theory with Barudak: 9 hours hiding tools. 1 hour using the face to face opportunities with management to convince them night shift lost the tools.
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Mar 25, 2023 02:37
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Xlorp posted:My theory is he's stopping something awful from being committed. Look, commit the mod team but leave us lowly white noise posters alone.
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Mar 25, 2023 02:56
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pumped up for school posted:I watched/heard a good field exercise a couple of days ago. Survey team of 3 people: crew chief (CC), rod man (A) and his helper (B). This was all over radio comms: Chief definitely had the wrong number somewhere in his gear or paperwork, and was trying to work out why the paper wasn't squaring with reality.
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Mar 25, 2023 03:29
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Jaguars! posted:Chief definitely had the wrong number somewhere in his gear or paperwork, and was trying to work out why the paper wasn't squaring with reality. That also happened more often than I thought possible for only 300 stations in a straight line. One of the line guys was keeping us outsiders in the loop by radioing out "aww biscuits" every time. He wanted us to keep score but we gave up. Govt contracting!
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Mar 25, 2023 08:17
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TaurusTorus posted:In other news I’ve come to believe day shift just clocks in every day and spends 10 hours hiding important tools. Oh hey I think that same team works in my lab, tell them I want my goddamn fancy repeater pipettes back 
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Mar 25, 2023 12:01
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Barudak posted:It is time to sell even less, folks. I must come up with a plan for this year and next. Have you tried adding a couple of zeroes to the price? Then keeping the extra as commission? It’s win-win.
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Mar 25, 2023 14:29
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The National Labor Relations Board just clarified that non-disparagement clauses are retroactively illegal. Now you can spill everything about all the dumb poo poo your previous employer did as well, regardless of any NDA you signed to get severance.
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Mar 25, 2023 18:20
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Artonos posted:I learned about this technique that my company uses today. When someone emails the commercialsales@mycompany.com email address they tell them they can't get a quote. They direct them to our website to fill out a form for a quote. But then here's the smart part. No one from sales ever follows up and processes the quotes. It's basically a dead end on the website. Having worked for a large bank and a casino, this is not the slightest bit shocking.
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Mar 26, 2023 01:41
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McGavin posted:The National Labor Relations Board just clarified that non-disparagement clauses are retroactively illegal. Now you can spill everything about all the dumb poo poo your previous employer did as well, regardless of any NDA you signed to get severance.  
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Mar 26, 2023 14:54
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McGavin posted:The National Labor Relations Board just clarified that non-disparagement clauses are retroactively illegal. Now you can spill everything about all the dumb poo poo your previous employer did as well, regardless of any NDA you signed to get severance. *Looking at thread title*
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Mar 26, 2023 15:03
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Well I’m working on a brand new type of chamber so I get to play the “is that by design or by mistake?” game. At least this chamber is absolutely not a priority so it doesn’t matter that I’m spending so much time figuring it out. It’s so new that the schematics aren’t uploaded to the common drive, so I get to use the build instructions, which are algorithmically generated and frequently completely wrong.
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Mar 27, 2023 01:38
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Yours truly broke Apple Recovery/Apple ID to where the poor person on the phone is submitting a bug ticket to the devs. Guess I dont gotta do any work until that gets fixed. Barudak fucked around with this message at 02:38 on Mar 27, 2023 |
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Mar 27, 2023 02:24
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