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Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Chapter 20: Ark Angels




Yeah... Hey Aldo how ya doin'? Decided you want to give Eald'narche a wedgie? Welcome to the team.



I put the crystal into the hole and the door vanishes.



Past the hall looks to be a platform. I know platforms and it's definitely a teleporty one. We step on it and it doesn't work. I've tried everything I know, worlds over.





Well she seems nice. Also she can probably make the zoop go zap.



Huh. Once again I am actually a nerd and this is neat.



Ouch. But like she isn't wrong.



"One can understand why Eald'narche would aspire for perfection"






And now we are up in the sky. Hoofa.



I sure hope this place doesn't come crashing down once I cave Eald'narche's face in.



How does this place stay in the air anyhow?

Ru'Aun Gardens



Huh. It's pretty.



I'm glad everyone can hear the echoing in my head. I was worried for a minute.



Seems Aldo had a fire lit under his arse. Good on him.

So if I had to guess the place I'm looking for is that big central tower. I'm gonna try just walking inside. Sometimes the easiest way is the right way. Goddess I pray it is the right way... I'm not keen on being in the clouds for extend periods of time.



Well I can get inside.

Ve'Lugannon Palace



So it seems like I need five shards. Apathy, Arrogance, Coward... poo poo I have to fight the Ark Angels.

Okay. So Ru'Aun Gardens is a circle and five points like a star. There are teleporters I need to turn on first and then run to and quickly activate in order to get to the points of the star. Each one of these points has one of the Crystal Warriors and I need their shards to pummel Eald'narche.



But what if I fought all five at once?




Then she poofs.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chocobo Music To Soothe The Pain

So lets talk about the moon. Screw the moon. I hate it.



This is the moon as it was when I got to Ru'Aun. The color changes depending on the day, this green moon means Windsday. Also take note it is waxing, this is good. We need it to be full and for that we are going to look at a handy chart...



I need to wait 9 hours and 40 minutes Earth time and I have a little less than 5 hours Earth time to touch the fountain at midnight Vana'diel time. If I miss this window I need to wait 3 days and 8 and a half hours Earth time to do it again.

This is optional but the fight against all 5 gives a special reward and unlocks a High Tier Battlefield. Originally this was an alliance fight, a raid of 18 people against the 5 Ark Angels.

You better believe I'm waiting the 9 hours to click on a fountain at exactly 2 pm praying that it isn't a weather condition that day as the sky needs to be clear or it won't work.

I'll let you drink in the rest of the chart. Final Fantasy 11 folks, it's a thing that exists.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





The parchment is easy to just buy off other adventurers or merchants and the dolls by the fountain drop the ink. I make the sphere and head to one of the points in Ru'Aun.





Ru'Aun is very pretty if nothing else. Tons of flavors of elementals float around all over making it a good place to farm crystals for crafting too.



This is my thief friend Varisele, extremely useful for fighting things I shouldn't or breaking open doors. Sometimes gets you killed by a crab, but what can you do? I'm not screwing around with this fight. Even at max level with strong gear this is a real fight. I'll explain in detail in a moment.

Fighters of the Crystal









So what makes this tough? Ark Angel Mithra can charm. Charm controls you and will use ALL your abilities on other players, usually you just one shot them if you are charmed. If you have trusts they just vanish and you can't resummon them in a fight. So if I did this without Varisele and got charmed it would be a 1 v 5(+2 pets) in a fight designed for 18 level 75s. You must absolutely rush down the Mithra.



All of them have AoE weaponskills that do something nasty.

Each Ark Angel has 2 jobs and can use the 1 hour ability from BOTH.

-----
Mithra: Beastmaster(Makes pets stronger) Thief(Evades all attacks)

She summons a tiger and mandragora as pets. Her weaponskill sleeps and inflicts heavy on targets. She quickly resummons the pets if they die.
-----
Elvaan: Paladin(Invulnerable) White Mage(Full HP heal)

AoE weaponskill silences. Can use Spirits Within which can do well over 1000 hp.
-----
Galka: Samurai(Grants 3000 TP and next 3 weaponskills cost 1000 TP) Dragoon(Just summons his dragon)

His unique weaponskill is ranged and binds the targets.
-----
Hume: Ninja(Self Destruct!?) Warrior(All attacks are crits)

His weaponskill hits hard and stuns, he has a very low cooldown on his warrior one hour. HE WILL USE THE NINJA SELF DESTRUCT! IT HURTS!
-----
Tarutaru: Black Mage(No spell cost, uninterruptable spells) Dark Knight(Leech life)

His weaponskill Paralyses and Petrifies, yikes. He also teleports around the field.
-----



This quickly devolved into chaos. Regardless we rush down the Mithra then set upon the Taru.



Then the Galka or Hume needs to go down. Either one.



Finally the tank. I've been showing the HP/MP of the party. Keep in mind we are both level 119 and are using Varisele's trusts which are stronger than mine due to reasons. I know I didn't show a lot but this fight took several minutes to do.



Mostly harmless.







They all turn to crystal and shatter. I gather the fragments and head back to the center of Ru'Aun.





It's nearly time to put an end to this.


Next time: A ten thousand year dream

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MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)
Divine Might is such an amazing fight. The primary strategy back in its heyday was to pull everything into the long tunnel leading to the arena, because Ark Angel TT can't actually leave the arena, possibly due to his flying movement. The rest would be "supertanked", which is a weird tank technique that exploits the aggro system.

FFXI's aggro system consists of two parts; CE and VE. CE is Constant Enmity, and it never decreases over time. VE is Volatile Enmity and it decreases over time or by taking damage from the monster. Whichever player has the highest combined CE and VE is the aggro target. If you cast a healing spell on a target who has CE or VE from an enemy, you gain CE and VE from that enemy too, so healers can take aggro by bombing people with heals too much.

But there's the rub: if. You know what grants zero CE or VE? A monster aggroing you. So a tank can run in, have all the Ark Angels aggro to him, and take exactly zero actions against any of them (self buffs are fine). Thus generating zero enmity. And with zero enmity, a small squadron of healers can fling as many high powered healing spells at him as they like with no chance of pulling aggro at all. And from there the rest of the alliance can peel off one Ark Angel at a time and drag them to the other end of the murder hallway and, well, murder them in sequence. At the end everyone piles into the middle and beats Ark Angel TT to death.

Also as an aside, Eald'narche's super attack in the mobile spinoff game Dissidia Opera Omnia is "Divine Might". I won't link it yet because this storyline isn't over yet, but once Zilart is finished you can see how much the DOO devs love FFXI and lovingly recreate all it's bullshit in chibi mobile game form.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
Huh, I would've thought the Elvaan would be a more primary target what with being a healer.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

PurpleXVI posted:

Huh, I would've thought the Elvaan would be a more primary target what with being a healer.

It is much more Paladin* than White Mage in its actions, I believe it only cares about the one hour based on its HP otherwise yeah a full heal to the others would be scary.

*75 era Paladin not modern Paladin

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Mar 20, 2023

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
Divine Might owns. Our preferred way to deal with it back in the day was the tried and true 12+ BLMs time nuking -agas :science:

MarquiseMindfang posted:

Divine Might is such an amazing fight. The primary strategy back in its heyday was to pull everything into the long tunnel leading to the arena, because Ark Angel TT can't actually leave the arena, possibly due to his flying movement. The rest would be "supertanked", which is a weird tank technique that exploits the aggro system.

FFXI's aggro system consists of two parts; CE and VE. CE is Constant Enmity, and it never decreases over time. VE is Volatile Enmity and it decreases over time or by taking damage from the monster. Whichever player has the highest combined CE and VE is the aggro target. If you cast a healing spell on a target who has CE or VE from an enemy, you gain CE and VE from that enemy too, so healers can take aggro by bombing people with heals too much.

But there's the rub: if. You know what grants zero CE or VE? A monster aggroing you. So a tank can run in, have all the Ark Angels aggro to him, and take exactly zero actions against any of them (self buffs are fine). Thus generating zero enmity. And with zero enmity, a small squadron of healers can fling as many high powered healing spells at him as they like with no chance of pulling aggro at all. And from there the rest of the alliance can peel off one Ark Angel at a time and drag them to the other end of the murder hallway and, well, murder them in sequence. At the end everyone piles into the middle and beats Ark Angel TT to death.

A fully buffed PLD or RUN can supertank just about any situation where there are multiple mobs you need to gather, outside of the really heavy hitters of endgame content, or if there are copious amounts of buff removals/enfeebs that you need to deal with. Back in the level 75 cap days, it was much harder because there just wasn't enough Damage Taken -% gear available (hi2u Terra's Staff) but post-119 literally every job now has access to a wide assortment of gear options.

The other weird thing about enmity is that is caps, and it's not just some astronomical level for extreme edge cases. Capping enmity is very possible in a lot of longer endgame fights where a boss would have tons of HP to grind down, and there are very few ways to lose significant amounts of enmity mid-fight (other than getting KO'd). In fact Visaria's baby dragon friend is handy for this as DRG is one of the only jobs that can regularly shed a significant amount of enmity.

Bregor fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Jul 15, 2023

IthilionTheBrave
Sep 5, 2013
I remember once seeing a physical clock that was made to go with FFXI and display server time and what day of the week and all of that nonsense. It was amazing.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

IthilionTheBrave posted:

I remember once seeing a physical clock that was made to go with FFXI and display server time and what day of the week and all of that nonsense. It was amazing.



"It was released March 2005 and re-released November 2005."

Bregor posted:

In fact Visaria's baby dragon friend is handy for this as DRG is one of the only jobs that can regularly shed a significant amount of enmity.

Even as a Sub Job Dragoons kick rear end at dropping threat. Threat is real and mean. There is gear to raise and lower the amount you deal, spells that generate a chunk of it, spells that lower or raise your threat generated, provokes... But always looming is that drat cap.

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Mar 20, 2023

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Chapter 21: Paradise


Deep Inside Ru'Aun Gardens

I head back to get my reward for besting the Ark Angels. Even at level 99 Suppanomimi(faster dual wield speed) and Knight's Earring(divine magic skill) have uses.







Time to shut a gate.



Hey Lion. Does Gil know about this?



That's a no and thanks for reminding me.



I put my hat on and walk away before she can see me blush. You can't just drop that on me in the middle of a flying world ending device. Woof.



I hear they are looking for adventurers over in Audolin, something about being a pioneer or something. Taming the wilds. Expanding civilization.



Also the Empire of Aht Urhgan is looking for mercenaries I think. That could be fun. Just the two of us.



This final run is just a straight shot unless someone is messing with buttons that shut paths. Our goal is the basement.





Man the basement gives me bad vibes.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1MEehUGahA

As a bonus here is the High-Tier Battlefield version too, featuring a cat girl:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioW4HJa6iuM
Being hit with bind stinks. I don't recommend it.

I'm stronger than I thought.




Belief<Click this!



No that isn't how this works I won!




I forgot he can fly. This seems bad.



Okay. Yeah, this is bad.




No really what do we do?




...



One Last Time



Wait what?



WAIT WHAT!?











Remember a while back when I was explaining the Mother Crystals? About how we go to them when we die...



Lion shut it off from the inside...







The Lion shaped hole in my heart hurts...









What the hell am I gonna tell Gilgamesh?


Next time: This isn't paradise

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 12:25 on Jan 4, 2024

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
Huh, not what I expected to see under the eyepatch.

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)

PurpleXVI posted:

Huh, not what I expected to see under the eyepatch.

He caught a crystal in the eye at high velocity. It worked out for him though, it's why he doesn't age.

I like Eald'narche and Kam'lanaut, even if they're not terribly intimidating as bosses nowadays (well, Eald'narche never really was.) Fond memories of catching a Light Blade in the face from Kam after his hate reset, for an instant death.

Now the imminent threat is over, I'm guessing it's time to explore this garden of unearthly delights terrors that Visaria now owns by right of conquest?

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Chapter 22: The Heart Of A Lion


Zilart Ending









...


















----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I'll go check on Verena first before going near Gilgamesh.



Even with my quick zoops he should still be back by now.





[Threatening]



You've been saved by your sister...



It isn't going to stop hurting every time someone says it.



...



Going into the afterlife crystal is kinda a one way door... Her soul may still exist but there is no way to call it back. I wouldn't say never though. I've seen a lot of things in my short time as an adventurer. Someday maybe we will meet again and keep that promise.



The real adventure is going to Norg...


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


One Last Time





Hey Gilgamesh...



Oh how I wish I could leave somethings unknown...





We head to his office.




"It's always easier t'forget about the things that trouble ya. That be why people always forget those who pass away. I don't want that happenin' t'me daughter..."


"That's why she'll always be alive here in Norg."


I wipe the tears from my eyes and head home.



Next time: Visaria checks if the kingdom is on fire

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 12:23 on Jan 4, 2024

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
So is the floaty island an explorable area now? Or is it only accessible for that boss fight?

Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.
It is explorable forever as it was a zone for endgame activities back in the day.

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
The shorthand for tu’lia was sky, iirc. This is about as far as I remember getting in XI - I don’t recall ever doing the story fights, but I remember doing some of the bosses up here.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

You can:

1. Use it to farm elementals for crystals or for easy ambuscade key items if it is elemental ambuscade month(it is elemental ambuscade month)
2. Use it to refight the Ark Angels or Eald'narche for good gear
3. Kill NMs inside the Shrine of Ru'Avitau to get drops to summon Byakko/Suzaku/Genbu/Seiryu for outdated gear

If I get the NM spawning drops from my Mog Garden I'll pop one to show it off. I will explain Mog Garden for those wondering what a Mog Garden is in about... At the rate of updates... 400-500 days.





Please look forward to it.

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Mar 29, 2023

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)
Surely red legs aren't outdated? Or did they somehow improve on them?

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

Fat and Useless posted:

I will explain Mog Garden for those wondering what a Mog Garden is in about... At the rate of updates... 400-500 days.





Please look forward to it.

:doit:

MarquiseMindfang posted:

Surely red legs aren't outdated? Or did they somehow improve on them?

There are new and improved red legs! Plus a nice array of other movement speed items now. Most jobs have 18% movement speed at 119, with a few dumb exceptions (SAM I think is stuck at 12%, DNC needs to do some really dumb outdated content for 18%, I'm sure I'm forgetting some)

OR

You can choose to get a movement speed ring at the end of a future expansion that all jobs can wear, and miss out on some other really unique and useful rings in the process. Sometimes XI just can't get out of its own way.

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)

Bregor posted:

There are new and improved red legs! Plus a nice array of other movement speed items now. Most jobs have 18% movement speed at 119, with a few dumb exceptions (SAM I think is stuck at 12%, DNC needs to do some really dumb outdated content for 18%, I'm sure I'm forgetting some)

OR

You can choose to get a movement speed ring at the end of a future expansion that all jobs can wear, and miss out on some other really unique and useful rings in the process. Sometimes XI just can't get out of its own way.

Goodness. If they would unify the sub for XI and XIV I'd be back in a heartbeat. I have an iLvl119 BLU all raring to go. Got the sword from Tojil and everything.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Bregor posted:

You can choose to get a movement speed ring at the end of a future expansion that all jobs can wear, and miss out on some other really unique and useful rings in the process. Sometimes XI just can't get out of its own way.

I cannot overstate how bad it is to pick this over any of the 11 other rings including the crafting ring.

DNC and SAM/NIN(NIN has +25% at night on it's AF) both need Abyssea drops, SAM/NIN's is a pain that needs 5 key item drops from other NMs to summon the speed boots NM.

The Mog Garden can also increase move speed... 399-499 more days!

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

April Fools: Visaria Kills A Taru


Windurst

So I have this trust permit for Windurst and never went to any of the participants to get their alter egos.

I regret doing this. No, not the part about not doing them in the first place. Going back to get them. It was a poor life choice.



Famous cat burglar Nanaa Mihgo. A real thieving thief. Also a royal pain in the rear end.



I can't point any harder to the sign that is blinking saying Windurst is my worst nightmare and I am going to die by time this trip is over. Anyway I had to bribe her with some illegal Yagudo necklaces to grease the wheels.



Thank the Goddess it worked and I can get out of here.



See you in the Thief quests Nanaa.

Our next dingus is... Ajido-Marujido. My Summoner teacher. Also Minister of the Orastery I guess. To find him lets ask his sister Apururu, Minister of the Manustery, who is actually in her office compared to Ajido who is Goddess knows where.





Every moment I stay here I edge closer to death.



Not anymore.



Yes...



Yes...



Two down, one to go.



Let us see... Let us see... Next is...



Hrm...



To even think of doing this we need every other city trust from San d'Oria, Bastok, and Windurst.

We'll need to get on her good(? ? ?) side first.









We'll wait a day as we don't really have a say.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I find this fellow outside her house. It looks like we have dealt with the louse.



I'll wait til tomorrow to bring up the trust. Giving her plenty of space is a must.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



What?



"Title Granted: Tarutaru Murder Suspect"

poo poo.



There's a lot of stuff I could go down for, this ain't one of those things.



I hit up the auction house for the items and stop by the corpse for some hair.



Totally.





I need to get the hell out of Windurst. Hey Shantotto can we do the tr-





Ouch.





Never tick Shantotto off. I zoop out to the Glacier.





All these are equally terrifying since they all come from the same person.



*sigh* I'll deal with it. Give it to me...





I'm going to let Shantotto curse you. Wait no. I'll get thrown under the bus again.



Back to Windurst.



That is as good of a thank you as I'm getting.



Intriguing. Anyhow I get a scroll of Warp 2 for a reward.

Can we do the thing now?

The worst day of my life(so far)



Am I going to die?





I can't back out now... Not because of force of will. She might actually kill me if I back out now.





Nod and say yes Visaria.







I could have just stopped after killing some random guy who happened to be outside her house.







I am dying. This is what dying is like. It isn't fun.







URK!



You know. It just occurred to me there really shouldn't be more than one Shantotto... I think I may have done a bad thing.



I am never coming back.





I'm alive, probably cursed.

No one learned anything and the world is a worse place than it was.

Next adventure please. This one is over.

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 06:52 on Apr 1, 2023

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


So far, between the level cap people and this lady, it appears that the Taru are the most certain threat the setting is facing.

Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.
I am 99.9% certain Apururu is a lady.

Regallion
Nov 11, 2012

Hm, yes i wonder what other world could Shantotto have visited...certainly not one where she would be a giant threat to all existence

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
With that bomb ash and bone chips I thought Shantotto just wanted to make a pipe bomb to blow the peeper up.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If she wasn't a caster then that would probably have been the case.

SIGSEGV posted:

So far, between the level cap people and this lady, it appears that the Taru are the most certain threat the setting is facing.

Seems like a running theme with the online FF titles.

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)
I do love Shantotto. Thank god we're not done with her by a long shot, eh?

Between this and the Banjo thread going on, I kind of want to see a Shantotto vs Gruntilda rap-off.

Though there was that scene in Dissidia NT where she went up against Ultimecia, of all people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkHp2MYiBOA

AweStriker
Oct 6, 2014

Well, her meter did improve a lot between stalkerquest and the trust unlock.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

We can never truly be done with Shantotto unfortunately. She is a force of nature. In a world that constantly wants you dead she is the enemy of your enemy. It is unclear if she wants you dead too or if you are too useful to die. She also happens to be one of the strongest trusts, just not the version of her we just got.

SIGSEGV posted:

So far, between the level cap people and this lady, it appears that the Taru are the most certain threat the setting is facing.

There is an actual correct answer to most certain threat of the setting.

So far the list is as follows:

Undead
Beastmen
The World
The Zilart
Taru With Free Time
Visaria
Politics/Racism
Future Engulfing Darkness (#1)
The Church
The Last PS2 Dev Kit
Crab?

We will be doubling the size of this list next expansion.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

I really like this track. There are a ton of missions/quests with zany and nonsensical plot points, and this song is playing during all of them. Basically if you hear the first notes of this song, prepare for bullshit.

Melomane Mallet posted:

I am 99.9% certain Apururu is a lady.

Correct. Taru names are pretty easy, if there's a "—" in the middle, like Koru-Moru, they're a he. If not, like Shantotto or Apururu, they're a she.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Chapter 23: The Wild Rose


Full of trauma I arrive back in San d'Oria. It hasn't burned down yet. Great. Lets work on that.



Mmhmm...



Gonna be a long week

Okay lets get this barbeque started.



Hard to start a fire with a rose but I'm always down to try.



They grow out in the middle of Altepa. Not hard to get to from Rabao.



I beat up the cactus and take some roses back. This is what I was missing while saving the world, the thrilling life of an adventurer.



I realize I'm channeling my grief into this. The kingdom doesn't deserve it this time. They are just doing something nice for a departed loved one.



Ah yes, this plot. I'm surprised someone let him in.



We start time tripping, you get used to it Roche.





Seems to me the past ghost of what I assume was the queen told us specifically DON'T go looking for the doo-bob everyone is looking for. But what do I know? I'm just an adventurer who absolutely isn't getting paid today.



*shrug*



*shrug*

"Well then, do you mind throwin' it away for me? I can't have a grimy garden, now can I?"

It's a piece of paper. "When faced with deceit, often the truth lies behind your back."

Huh. Well anyway Trion wants me I guess.



I'm not going to bother bringing up the queen. No one would believe me or care. I do like treasure though. Also getting paid. I feel like I've uttered those words before.



Yes?



Past where I hid behind the monument lies a cave system. In this cave system lies a door. This is probably the tomb.





Yeah this looks right. Oh. Seems I was followed.



Probably not.



Eh, why not? I hand it over.



He heads off lost in thought after giving me back the book. I enjoy cryptic bullshit time with Roche.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ INSERT HEARTWARMING SIDE ADVENTURE HERE ]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh hey Trion wants to speak with me! I wonder if they figured out that book?







Fancy, but I trust absolutely none of you or myself with unlimited power.



Look I don't think the super holy sword should be out in the wild and I think the orcs were tossing the place looking for it way back when I was a baby adventurer but we really should discuss what tall shelf we put it on if we find it first.



...







Hmm, that's a Dragoon if I've ever seen one.



The pope casts a spell on the poor guy.



This is a clown show... The Dragoon rightfully flees.



HRMMMM....





I hate the pope.



So using the power of my two braincells lets put together the clues so far:

1. The queen said don't do it.
2. It's an extremely powerful weapon.
3. The Dragoon showed concern over it.
4. There are orcs looking for it.
5. There is a random guy looking for it.
6. We are looking for it.



This will be good for a laugh.



I really feel like the correct answer is to not find it but I'd rather the church get it than the orcs... I think...





I feel as if I'm about to take a trip to the sewers.



Even worse, I'm in a royal pissing match, again.



I trust absolutely no one and I'm doing this for proper dangerous relic safety.

I make my way through the sewers to the outlet into Ronfaure. Something is amiss...



I find a stone tablet after the tussle. Probably important.







There's nothing I can do but wait...



Hrmmm...


Next time: I could stop this at any time

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Apr 3, 2023

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
When the quests have "please come back later"-moments. Is that just so you CAN take a break or is there actual a realtime break needed before you can continue them?

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

PurpleXVI posted:

When the quests have "please come back later"-moments. Is that just so you CAN take a break or is there actual a realtime break needed before you can continue them?

In this case no real break is needed they are just there to break up missions. In later expansions there is a lot of "wait a game day"s. It used to be "wait a real day" in alot of cases.

As an example the Samurai unlock with Gilgamesh really does make you wait 3 in game days to make the sword which is about 3 hours.

Fat and Useless fucked around with this message at 21:39 on Apr 3, 2023

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

PurpleXVI posted:

When the quests have "please come back later"-moments. Is that just so you CAN take a break or is there actual a realtime break needed before you can continue them?

Many of them actually make you wait a pre-determined amount of time. During vanilla it could be one real-life day (the flag would change after Japan midnight) or even a real-life week for some gear upgrades and the like. But with more recent QoL improvements over the years it's usually pared down to one in-game day.

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)

PurpleXVI posted:

When the quests have "please come back later"-moments. Is that just so you CAN take a break or is there actual a realtime break needed before you can continue them?

Sometimes you need to grind rank points by turning items in to the gate guards before you can get the next mission.

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Paladin





Role: Tank & Side Healing

You are the definitive tank. With shield in hand you make things angry and cast healing magic. You are the immovable object.


Main Weapons: Sword & Club

Your off-hand slot is going to be a shield 99% of the time. Swords are by far the best weapon for a Paladin however they can use a club very well if needed.


Magic: Enhancing, Healing, and Divine

You get an assortment of low to mid tier cures, raise, protect up to 5, shell up to 4, and strong holy damage magic. You also gets some buffs specifically for tanking and can enchant light on your weapon.

Not very impressive? Guess not but every spell feels like it does something important. Paladin has ways to stretch its magic extremely far, read on.


Notable Abilities/Traits:

Majesty: Right out the gate lets get this out of the way. This can always be on. This makes your protect and cure spells AoE. You also cast cures faster and they have a smaller cooldown now. You are now a budget White Mage. Remember healing gives threat!

Shield Mastery: Blocking gives extra TP and blocking stops spell interruption.

Sentinel: Reduces physical damage taken, enmity loss, and enmity gain for a bit.

Shield Bash: Small stun to stop enemy spells.

Cover: Take some damage for your target who has hate on the mob. Doesn't work on area attacks and you must be in melee range of the cover target. When you successful cover you gain some enmity and the cover target loses some.

Chivalry: Converts TP into MP. Fairly long cooldown but we also have another way to get MP.

Divine Emblem: Your next Divine spell deals more damage and gives more enmity, pretty low cooldown.

Invincible: Immune to physical attacks for 30 seconds. Our first one hour ability.

Intervene: Set the targets attack to 1 and accuracy to 1 for 30 seconds. Our second one hour ability.

Palisade: For 1 minute every 5 minutes shield block rate +50% and stops enmity loss.


Notable Traits As A Sub Job:

Eh... Even with master levels Paladin is not a good Sub Job.


Cool Weapon Skills:

Knights of Round: Some damage and a 10 hp per second regen, it didn't make it to the Red Mage list because it is bad but for Fusion skillchains it is this or use Atonement...
Atonement: Deals damage based off enmity, it's a neat idea but very bad damage because of how the math works out. Counts as a breath weapon?
Sanguine Blade: Drains damage done, very cool for a tank
Chant du Cygne: Hits like a truck, dex based
Savage Blade: Also hits like a truck but it is easier to get than CDC, based off str and mnd

Sword weaponskills are still pretty good and always will be but Paladin unique ones are not as strong sadly. You also get all the neat club damage weaponskills aside from ones tied to White Mage and Geomancer.


Summary:

You wake up in the morning and pick out your favorite Relic shield, every starting 119 shield a Paladin has access to is awful, you are going to have to work for this group slot. Once we pick our flavor of shield (Mdef or Pdef) we dress ourselves in matching tank armor and accessories and walk up to whatever shitwrecker we are being slapped by today. Oh make sure you have your defensive buffs up before doing this hahahahahaha. You are now being slapped, frantically cast some holy and flashes before the dps get antsy and start hogging all the slaps. As we get beaten to death a lot of our gear gives damage to MP this is good for sending out some nice AoE healing for enmity and letting your White Mage take a well deserved break. Wait you didn't bring a healer today? Not even a puppet? Scholar is just casting black magic!? You've been promoted to spamming cure 3/4. You can deal with it though. You are a Paladin. Your dps gear comes from deep in the endgame while that jackass Rune Fencer starts with it. You thrive on pain. You have all the relic shields that all do something crucial. You have all the relic swords for your terrible Paladin weaponskills. You have 20 sets of armor for specific types of damage. Then enmity caps and the group slowly dies. Goddess yes! Sweet release... Then you wake up in the morning.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


My state of existence is being dead inside.



But I'm never too dead inside to help out a crying kid.

Lost your dad kid? Same. Hasn't come back in 20 years, mom too.

They entered through Southern San d'Oria and his pops is in his armor, no helmet. Exploring around I find him in the weapon shop looking at swords.



All nice and wrapped up.





He hands me a fishing rod, I'm being punished too.



I keep my mouth shut in fear of making it worse. I'm sure by the end of this we will have a heartwarming lesson or something. Dear Goddess I hope we have a heartwarming lesson...



He's gone. Holy crap kid. Look it's fine you can have your rod back I'm not really the fishing type.



I sharpen blades on all sorts of things kid and I happen to be an expert on those stupid caves.

To make this kid happy I'm going back to Ordelle's... This has to be the last time right?



Pictured a young Elvaan woman beating a stone to death for a child

I forget to pick up the stone off the ground and have to go back through the cave again.



I have trouble getting the words "thank you" out of my concerned head.



I mean I'm probably better but I wouldn't say it out loud.





Wonder who won first. I should go to a tournament some time. Hey brain, remind me to bug Curilla about that.



I'm in danger but my brain is too busy reminding me to bother Curilla about nonsense to protect me from this.





Brain: Treasure, they said it twice!



This will not be the last time I'm tricked into fishing.



I'm gonna go ask.



I mean he's right.



So we have 2 options, buy it off the auction house for 40k or go to the crawlers nest and fight a NM for one. None on the auction house, drat. You can only spawn the NM if you are on this quest, it drops two per kill and can be spawned again every Vana'diel day. We need one minimum and more depending on if we are bad at fishing.



It was near midnight so I kill the NM twice. 4 tries at the fish. Have fun kid.



...



Two things I hate fishing and Castle Oztroja.



This is a mechanic, you can fish up NMs.



The pool is in an area past the 50/50 gate way off in the middle of nowhere.



Feelin' like a real Paladin right now.



When you get a bite arrows show up on the sides of the screen, you move your stick in the direction of the arrow and lower the fish's HP bar. Once depleted simply pull in your catch.



Nevermind the pool is ankle deep. I Kill the fish and carry it back.





Thrilling Paladin content!



Knight's boots, there's a name on them. I'm going to go bother Trion over this because Rahal and Curilla don't deserve to be in this trainwreck.





Oh we have a mystery. This is better.





Time to toss his house. Oh his father lives here...



Ugh... To the bar to gather rumors I guess...





To the pits of the shadow house.



The brush is in this here chest.



The things I do to toss a house.





I need a commanding officer...



Ah the sword he needed the whetstone for.



We are so close to a heartwarming lesson. drat. So close.



Back to Davoi to find a well, again. Not the same one though.





I will always admit when I screw up. I screwed up.

These are above my level and I was under geared and I used fairly weak trusts and side orcs chain aggroed.



This was a nail biter. At the end everyone was out of MP and Halver fell in combat. I'll mourn him until the next time I summon him.



Oh. Huh. This is actually important.



I book it back to San d'Oria. Hey kid seen your friend?



He heads off to the forest. I'll have to follow. No time to report to Trion.









He's never going to let us leave alive and I can't rip his head off without the kid dying.





And right on cue Exoroche cuts down the orc.







Here it comes! The heartwarming lesson! I could just cut him down myself now though!





Impressive!





The kid is taking this pretty well. Anyway back to the prince.





(I'll take the reward)



Thanks!



Well, I did my good deed for the day. But I should probably give some closure to another father.





A true knight puts others before themself. Fear can't be allowed. Pain will be assured. The reward is often nothing.



I guess this was worth it.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Fat and Useless posted:

Main Weapons: Sword & Club

Your off-hand slot is going to be a shield 99% of the time. Swords are by far the best weapon for a Paladin however they can use a club very well if needed.

In most games that have clubs, they're like a default or trash weapon for if you really can't wield anything else. Does FFXI have any classes for whom clubs is the best weapon? Or any superlative clubs in general?

Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

PurpleXVI posted:

In most games that have clubs, they're like a default or trash weapon for if you really can't wield anything else. Does FFXI have any classes for whom clubs is the best weapon? Or any superlative clubs in general?

Geomancer and White Mage.

Paladin, Warrior, and Blue Mage have strong use cases. Basically Blue Mage can use them for casting stats while all three can use them as a physical blunt damage type option.

Black Mage, Summoner, and Scholar can use them fine if you don't have their staves.

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)

PurpleXVI posted:

Or any superlative clubs in general?

One of the most expensive and sought after items in the game is a club.

Dark Knight has a particular use with that club that managed to down an unkillable superboss. So they nerfed the method.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

Fat and Useless posted:

Savage Blade: Also hits like a truck but it is easier to get than CDC, based off str and mnd

I am quoting this for once we get to creating certain weapons, and possibly certain endgame content :getin:

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Fat and Useless
Sep 3, 2011

Not Thin and Useful

Bregor posted:

I am quoting this for once we get to creating certain weapons, and possibly certain endgame content :getin:

I don't have the willpower or gil to make an Empyrean as much as I'd love to Rudra spam. The thread is going to get some pulses and maybe a mythic if you are good.

I do have walk recorded though. I'll probably just make one update for each weapon series and the train wreck involved.

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