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Blotto_Otter posted:"I realize that when accountants say a company is 'unauditable', they usually just mean that its books are a total mess and it's not feasible for them to fix or reconstruct the books in a reasonable amount of time or at a reasonable expense, so I want to make it clear: it would be literally impossible to audit us, we often didn't keep books at all, and we could not even begin to reconstruct the books because we often just didn't keep records at all. What did we record, you ask? This statement, wherein I, Sam Bankman-Fried, am now recording, in writing, just how frequently we did not keep a record of things" I've legit seen frat houses with a better system of accounting for beer and pizza funds, usually via a big jar full of loose change and a whiteboard covered in names, amounts and drawings of dicks.
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Apr 10, 2023 04:24
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Didn't this fucker graduate from MIT? And had previous trading experience? How the gently caress does someone like that screw up this bad?
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Apr 10, 2023 04:30
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Lammasu posted:Didn't this fucker graduate from MIT? And had previous trading experience? How the gently caress does someone like that screw up this bad? “Screw up” implies that this person endeavoured to actually create and run a functional exchange and investment fund and just failed, what they were actually trying to do was set up a massive grift in order to get free money to enrich themselves and make a million speculative bets with the financial logic of “I’ve bought so many lottery tickets I can’t lose” and they succeeded at that spectacularly.
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Apr 10, 2023 04:48
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Boxturret posted:Watch Sam keep books so poorly he gets the guillotine. Oh hell, SBF is just Todd 
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Apr 10, 2023 05:09
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I sent this to my gf who is an accountant and she responded with a long string of profanity
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Apr 10, 2023 05:46
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The Glumslinger posted:I sent this to my gf who is an accountant and she responded with a long string of profanity I picture all accountants as that one sniveling Michael Palin character from Monty Python so this is an extremely funny image.
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Apr 10, 2023 05:51
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you know sometimes i leave $20 in one of my jacket pocket that i later find and its like a little treat. kinda the same deal
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Apr 10, 2023 05:59
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The Glumslinger posted:I sent this to my gf who is an accountant and she responded with a long string of profanity “Sometimes find 50m laying around, such is life” is an amazing sentence. What a loving imbecile.
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Apr 10, 2023 07:30
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Talorat posted:“Sometimes find 50m laying around, such is life” is an amazing sentence. What a loving imbecile. I wish my life was that such!
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Apr 10, 2023 07:32
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Talorat posted:“Sometimes find 50m laying around, such is life” is an amazing sentence. What a loving imbecile. remember that 50 mil might have been investor money, customer deposits, tom brady's money, profits from trades. Its not like hes a vanderbilt who has no idea how much money he had.
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Apr 10, 2023 08:31
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Talorat posted:“Sometimes find 50m laying around, such is life” is an amazing sentence. What a loving imbecile. a lost 50 million which he recovered!  But all of this clearly easy inflationary infinity money ftx did couldn't possibly cause inflation, right? Back to my experiences at the foreign Crypto exchange I worked at before it blew up, before I realized I needed to exit crypto: they went through at least 2 if not 3 sets of lawyers while I was there. I can't help but expect it was exactly this sort of scenario, where the ceo was going "this is fine" and the lawyers book it out the door running away. https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1645203878412001285
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Apr 10, 2023 11:54
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50 mil such is life holy poo poo I want to swirly that dude into Narnia
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Apr 10, 2023 12:02
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My only consolation is that it’s pretty clear at this point that there’s no way SBF gets away with this. They’re going to make an example of him.
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Apr 10, 2023 16:49
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Talorat posted:My only consolation is that it’s pretty clear at this point that there’s no way SBF gets away with this. They’re going to make an example of him. How do you define getting away with it? He will still be filthy rich with his hidden crypto wallets after he gets released from prison.
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Apr 10, 2023 16:56
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:I picture all accountants as that one sniveling Michael Palin character from Monty Python so this is an extremely funny image. I wish my girlfriend was Michael Palin.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:02
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BoldFace posted:How do you define getting away with it? He will still be filthy rich with his hidden crypto wallets after he gets released from prison. The only way he's getting out of prison is if he's a tortoise.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:05
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BoldFace posted:How do you define getting away with it? He will still be filthy rich with his hidden crypto wallets after he gets released from prison. He hosed rich people. They're going to put him in jail longer than murderers. Reminder that Bernie Madoff got 150 years. That's well into "is a serial killer" as far as sentencing goes.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:08
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BoldFace posted:How do you define getting away with it? He will still be filthy rich with his hidden crypto wallets after he gets released from prison. He'll get at least Elizabeth Holmes years in jail, the question is how many more than that. Probably a lot because of his extensive mycrimes.txt documents
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Apr 10, 2023 17:08
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Lammasu posted:The only way he's getting out of prison is if he's a tortoise. He will spend ten years in some lofty white collar Manhattan prison, and that'll be it.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:10
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BoldFace posted:He will spend ten years in some lofty white collar Manhattan prison, and that'll be it. As said previously, Madoff got 150 years. Also, he's spent his entire time of probation incriminating himself. I don't think he could even survive a minimum security prison. SBF can just not shut up. He'd get shanked in the first week.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:13
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BoldFace posted:How do you define getting away with it? He will still be filthy rich with his hidden crypto wallets after he gets released from prison. maybe this is the timeline where a gamma ray burst and a Coronal mass ejection hit the earth at the same time and fry and emps everything on the earth('s surface, also all life gets either a lethal dose of rads or cancer) so the only wallets left are the ones thrown into the ocean and in that landfill.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:21
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Cyrano4747 posted:He hosed rich people. They're going to put him in jail longer than murderers. Reminder that Bernie Madoff got 150 years. That's well into "is a serial killer" as far as sentencing goes. Yeah even if Madoff had hidden assets, he stole them from people with enough clout to get him put away long enough to ensure he'd never get to enjoy them. Seems like Bankman-Fried stole from a similar class of people.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:23
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Yeah remember, SBF wasn't just a bitcoiner robbing bitcoiners, FTX bought stadium naming rights and super bowl commercials with big name actors.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:29
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VitalSigns posted:Yeah even if Madoff had hidden assets, he stole them from people with enough clout to get him put away long enough to ensure he'd never get to enjoy them. I have a client that cashed a new check this past year from the Madoff Victims Fund, which (per a glance at its website just now) has apparently recovered 88% percent of losses for "eligible victims" after 15 or so years. and now I'm happily looking forward to reading about Tom Brady receiving another random $46 check in 2037 for the then-current market value of 2.17 bitcoins
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Apr 10, 2023 17:45
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Here, a handy flow chart for how hosed you are if you commit financial crimes.
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Apr 10, 2023 17:57
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Cyrano4747 posted:Here, a handy flow chart for how hosed you are if you commit financial crimes. interesting. and if one were to pursue some of this hypothetical financial crime against poor people, how would one best go about? asking for a friend.
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Apr 10, 2023 18:20
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Papa Was A Video Toaster posted:interesting. and if one were to pursue some of this hypothetical financial crime against poor people, how would one best go about? asking for a friend. Start a business, commit rampant wage theft. Tons of other ways but that's probably the easiest. Bonus if you're screwing over undocumented workers who won't even think about going to the police. Or just run of the mill scams. Run grindset seminars. Get old ladies to send you apple gift cards because you're pretending to be their grandkid who needs to pay bail and doesn't want to tell mom.
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Apr 10, 2023 18:26
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Papa Was A Video Toaster posted:interesting. and if one were to pursue some of this hypothetical financial crime against poor people, how would one best go about? asking for a friend. Can you keep a straight face while saying "President Trump needs your help" on Tiktok? Alternately, do you own Amazon?
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Apr 10, 2023 18:32
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Cyrano4747 posted:Here, a handy flow chart for how hosed you are if you commit financial crimes. a thing I find funny is, SBF steal-stealing from the rich was probably unnecessary for him to get personally rich. If he were slightly smarter and more patient, he could've just ripped off a lot of rich people the legal way: by being really good at investor storytime! he clearly had an ability to talk venture capitalists and wannabe investors into giving him oodles of money for no good reason, he could've been the next Travis Kalanick or Adam Neumann if he just had a little more self-control and was willing to do it all in the open and take a smaller cut instead of immediately plundering every available cent for MOBA microtransactions and NFL game pass subscriptions
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Apr 10, 2023 18:45
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BoldFace posted:How do you define getting away with it? He will still be filthy rich with his hidden crypto wallets after he gets released from prison. lmao, "filthy rich with crypto." In the imaginary world where it's easy to withdraw crypto into being real money and assuming that it's not just worth wooden nickels by the time he gets out anyway.
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Apr 10, 2023 20:37
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Finding 50 million in the couch cushions and buying a pizza in celebration 
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Apr 10, 2023 21:11
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I still dont get how buttcoin number owners even have power. like that number is like matter/energy that passes a blackholes event horizon. completely cutoff from the rest of the universe. like I guess you can do transactions and exchanges with other dumbasses that traveled pass the EH with you, in this case crime orgs or secret orgs balance their books and accounts with each other?
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Apr 10, 2023 21:15
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Madoff's other problem was that he stole the money so overtly that it made the usually bulletproof rich guy defense of "oops money's all gone but for all you know I was just so stupid and incompetent that the outcome is indistinguishable from fraud, but you can't prove my intent, tee-hee" impossible. There's just no plausible deniability that you weren't doing it on purpose when you bought a yacht with investor funds and sent them fake transaction records that you created by hand yourself because you didn't trust underlings not to blow the whistle. Based on SBF's hidden "Wire Fraud" teams channel, plus his interviews where he voluntarily admitted to all the elements of financial crimes, seems like he has a similar problem. You'd have to hope for a jury willing to entertain some pretty unreasonable doubts if you want to convince them you didn't know you were committing wire fraud when you were planning the wire fraud on your "Wire Fraud" channel. VitalSigns fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Apr 10, 2023 |
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Apr 10, 2023 22:48
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Blotto_Otter posted:a thing I find funny is, SBF steal-stealing from the rich was probably unnecessary for him to get personally rich. If he were slightly smarter and more patient, he could've just ripped off a lot of rich people the legal way: by being really good at investor storytime! he clearly had an ability to talk venture capitalists and wannabe investors into giving him oodles of money for no good reason, he could've been the next Travis Kalanick or Adam Neumann if he just had a little more self-control and was willing to do it all in the open and take a smaller cut instead of immediately plundering every available cent for MOBA microtransactions and NFL game pass subscriptions Take their money to the horse tracks baby, just gotta pick one winner and you're an instant finance megatitan. Don't worry about the losses, by the time anyone notices you'll have won so much you can secretly pay it back and none will be the wiser.
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Apr 10, 2023 22:55
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Blotto_Otter posted:a thing I find funny is, SBF steal-stealing from the rich was probably unnecessary for him to get personally rich. If he were slightly smarter and more patient, he could've just ripped off a lot of rich people the legal way: by being really good at investor storytime! he clearly had an ability to talk venture capitalists and wannabe investors into giving him oodles of money for no good reason, he could've been the next Travis Kalanick or Adam Neumann if he just had a little more self-control and was willing to do it all in the open and take a smaller cut instead of immediately plundering every available cent for MOBA microtransactions and NFL game pass subscriptions When doing a Ponzi, pay yourself first.
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Apr 10, 2023 23:07
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Ponzician, grift thyself.
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Apr 10, 2023 23:17
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PhazonLink posted:I still dont get how buttcoin number owners even have power. like that number is like matter/energy that passes a blackholes event horizon. completely cutoff from the rest of the universe. Its a trick of human psychology money is just an abstraction of "value" I was at a museum in California once and they had these native american baskets. they were really pretty with patterns on them and poo poo. It was explained that these baskets werent really made for home use, but where made for trade the hours of work it took to make them so fancy gave them scarcity, Desirability and thus value. I miss three phase and the OG bitcoin thread from a decade ago. It was alot of fun and we all kinda agreed bitcoin was solution looking for a problem. Also SBF is just amazing at this point he could pull off his mask and be andy coffman back from the dead. Its like a huuge troll.
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Apr 11, 2023 01:00
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riot quick to the punch with a loving awesome retort to the NYT FUD hit piece from yesterday https://www.globenewswire.com/news-...Falsehoods.html Riot up 27% since it came out Swing and a miss
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Apr 11, 2023 18:44
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PurpleXVI posted:You know the gimmick-posting was funny at first, but the joke's grown stale. You need a new schtick or to take a break.
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Apr 11, 2023 18:57
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They say the best revenge is living well. Maybe you crypto guys should get on that, at some point
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Apr 11, 2023 19:21
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