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Toby is forced to spend several hours creating an extensive flowchart of times when Jim may or may not summon "Captain Pepperoni." Toby is so busy with this, he forgets to file Dwight's urology appointment with corporate insurance. Dwight is forced to pay $1,900 out of pocket. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Apr 7, 2023 |
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Apr 7, 2023 19:09
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Jim books an appointment with Dwight’s urologist, which due to several extremely lucrative years, is on the top story of Musk Tower (Scranton’s largest skyscraper at five stories). Jim rides the golden elevator to the top and waits in the lobby, where classical music plays lightly from speakers hidden among the rocks of the contemplation pond. Finally, Jim is brought in to the exam room. However, due to confusion from Toby’s incredibly complicated flow chart, Jim is unable to determine if he is permitted to take his penis out for examination and Dunder Mifflin insurance premiums are hiked for all employees as a result of “unnecessary medical procedures”.
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Apr 8, 2023 00:57
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Dwight accidentally bumps into Meredith at work. Apologizing, he turns away just before he sees her vanish and some more ghoulish figure takes her place for a second. Spinning back to her, he observes her looking like herself, and he excuses himself back to his desk. The rest of the day goes uneventfully, but just after blinking his eyes, or turning his head, he sees things that feel wrong. Going to an eye doctor, he's' asked to take off his pants. Confused, Dwight asks the doctor to repeat themselves. "I said take off your glasses..." the doctor repeats. During the test, Dwight feels an uncomfortable sensation around in his lower body and repeatedly comments on it as he reads letter off a chart. Finally, the examination is over, and Dwight stands up to leave, only to find his pants around his ankles. Going home that night, he hugs Angela as she's in the kitchen and announces he's not feeling well and is going to take a small nap. Arriving in his bedroom, he sees her already in bed waiting for him. He smirks at first, then quickly realizes that there was no way she could have gotten to the bedroom without passing him. He questions her for a moment, but the answers feel too perfect. Suspecting a Jim prank, he backs out of the room and heads back down the stairs. Rushing back down to the kitchen, he catches another glimpse of the strange figure as he rounds the corner, just before he realizes it's Angela, once more, slicing some beets at the table. Each time he blinks his eyes, she turns into some plastic-like creature for split second. Some fake person before instantly looking like herself, again. With each blink, Dwight notices how the house looks broken down and rotting away, then suddenly returning to the house he'd always known. He could swear it smelled like something was dead, then the smell was just gone. Keeping his eyes closed, he took a deep breath and felt like he was going to vomit as he heard the hiss of something in the air and the smell of flowers filled his senses. It wasn't enough, though. Sick and shaking, Dwight moved outside to get some air, but the fluttering of inconsistent sensations was getting to him. It took him nearly 2 minutes to find his car, seeing only a mid-90s Saturn in his driveway that didn't belong to anyone he knew. Had someone stolen his car and left theirs? Dwight reached into his pocket for his keys and assured himself that he hadn't just left them in the ignition. Dwight peered inside the windows of the Saturn, looking for any clue as to who the car might belong to and realized the personal belongings inside were from his own car. Why the hell would someone take his car and leave his stuff behind in theirs?! Instinctually, he used his key to unlock the door and get inside. Before it even registered how unlikely that was, he found himself sitting in the driver's seat and realizing it was his car's interior. Somehow someone had taken a Trans Am interior and put it inside an S-series Saturn?! It had to be another Jim prank, but to test this out, Dwight pulled out his key and put it in the ignition. The car revved with the familiar feel of his Trans Am, and even looking out the window he was confounded with how the hood of the car now looked less like a Saturn and more like his own. A flowery smell lingered through the vents as he flipped them on and drove away to clear his head and get to the bottom of this... "We need props department to the Schrute's Farm interiors and exteriors" Dr. Halpert said to someone over phone, while watching the video of affair from the comfort of his own home. "Might be time for some set redecoration. Updates are going your way. Get me some script doctors, too. Dwight's in need of a little 'booster shot'... I'll be on scene in a few minutes to make a guest appearance..." A team of technicians who were hiding in house adjacent to the farm ran to their van and drove the extremely short distance to enter the "Schrute's Farm" set. No key was needed to get in, as the farmhouse didn't have more than a shower curtain as a front door. The interiors were just as poorly maintained. One of them grabs a featureless mannequin sitting in a chair at the kitchen table with an e-paper tag on it flashing the name "Angela with beets, friendly". A tinny little speaker recites the same thing, as well as random words that seem to lack any meaning. The other technician moves upstairs and grabs the second mannequin laying on the covers, this one flashing and saying, "Angela in bed, romantic" on its display and speakers. The rotting carcass of some animal was in the living room, or at least the technicians thought it was an animal. In any case, it too had a display on it that said "Mose". "How can this man live like this," one of the technicians asked. He began pulling down an itemized list of contents and relabeling and moving them around. "How can he NOT realize this is how he's living?" "Have you not been following the narrative on this?" "Not on this one, no," the technician admitted. "What's the deal?" "This time, Halpert's got him thinking he's a successful beet salesman and paper salesman." "What the gently caress is a beet?" "Nothing, it's made up. It's a fake plant this guy thinks he grows. They don't even exist. Anyway, he's using this iteration of the 'cog-rep' to make this guy think he's a super successful and beloved guy whose only real problem is experience torment from a coworker." "That's it?" "Yeah. Get this, though: Halpert set up the whole scenario so that he, you know, Halpert, gets to be the tormentor. I guess there's some poetry in it or something. I don't know. Apparently he's able to walk into the scene as himself or use one of the simpackages to play the outline for him. He puts in the suggestion and the Dwight guy perceives it all as real. He could literally walk into the room and tell Dwight that he, you know, Halpert, has just set him, you know, Dwight, on fire with an explosive candy bar made out of screaming 'Tiny Jims', and Dwight's so reprogrammed, he, you know, Dwight, acts accordingly." "What's the point of what we're doing? Really? What are we accomplishing by doing this all to this guy?" "I don't know... I mean, I think when the applicants signed up it was supposed to be to test 'projected reality augmented narrative cognition." "I still don't know what that means." "The idea that reality is subjective and that nothing is actually real. Reality is nothing more than a mass hallucination and genetic memory delusion. It's possible not even what we experience could be 'real' by that standard of metric. Suppose that if we were able to control that, replace human perception of reality with one of our own design, then we could all live in personal utopias instead of the drudging hell we all have to exist in." There was an long pause as the pair loaded up the Angela mannequins to the back of the van and they saw the Saturn coming back up the road and into the driveway with Dr. Halpert at the wheel, waving at them, while the test subject seemed to be unconscious in the passenger seat.
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Apr 8, 2023 01:55
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Jim ties Dwight to a bedpost with his rear end cheeks spread out. He puts a hanger on the stove and let's it sit for like half an hour. Jim takes it off and sticks it in Dwight's rear end slow like "tsss".
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Apr 8, 2023 20:32
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Jim offers to buy Dwight an expensive dinner but when the check comes, Jim sneaks off to the bathroom and flushes himself down the toilet, leaving Dwight stuck with the bill.
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Apr 9, 2023 00:12
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Jim offers to hold the door for Dwight, who is running in from the rain. Just as he's about to get inside, Jim closes the door uses all his body weight to keep it closed. "HAHA! I told you I'd hold the door! I didn't tell you I'd hold it SHUT, you dullard!" Jim laughs maniacally as Dwight is drenched by the rain.
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Apr 9, 2023 03:12
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Michael offers to hold to door for Dwight, who is running in from the rein. Just as Dwight is about to get inside, Michael panics at the last moment slams the door shut and locks it. "I'm sorry, Dwight, I'm so sorry..." After Jim forces the rein into Dwight's mouth, the pair struggle until Jim climbs on Dwight's back and rides him like a horse through the glass door of the office, while screaming, "giddyup!"
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Apr 9, 2023 03:16
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Jim offers to hold the door for Dwight, who is running to catch the train. At the last moment, Jim releases the doors and they begin to close. "Doors closing," announces the PA system. A bell chimes. And the doors slide shut on Dwight's fingertips, pinching them painfully. Jim mugs at Dwight through the window as the train pulls away, tugging Dwight along for a short distance before he's able to struggle free. Dwight is 90 minutes late for work and Michael docks him half a day's pay.
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Apr 9, 2023 03:29
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Dwight’s urologist makes absolutely, positively sure to lock his computer before he goes to the bathroom. Once he steps in to the mens room, however, he finds Jim nude except for red tennis shoes, helicoptering. He quickly diagnoses several life-threatening conditions.
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Apr 9, 2023 04:21
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Easter Jim arrives at Dunder-Mifflin to hide eggs for Dwight to find, albeit a day late on Monday. Monday rolls around and Dwight is more stressed out than usual. When questioned about it, Dwight reveals he spent the entire weekend looking for eggs. "That's cute," Jim says. "Aren't you a little old to go hunting for eggs? Leave some for the kids, Dwight." "Not like that, JIM!" Dwight snapped. "I was helping the local bird sanctuary search for a clutch of endangered Scranton Sparrow eggs that went missing from their nests. They're the last of their kind, Jim. Invaluable to to the biodiversity of the avian life on this planet. I guess you don't really care about that, though, do you, Jim?" Dwight sat down and got to work, angrily logging into his computer... Oh, god, what was this?! Wiping the mess from his fingers off on his pants, he examined his keyboard to see multiple keys had been replaced by eggs. Dwight already knew, but to be certain, he pulled out the reference photograph he still had in his pocket and compared the broken eggs to the intact Scranton Sparrow eggs. "Five, Six, Seven..." Dwight quietly muttered, confirming he'd indeed caused the complete extinction of the Scranton Sparrow.
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Apr 9, 2023 04:45
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Jim replaces all of the Easter eggs from Dwight’s Non-Religious Spring Season Egg Hunt with Crite eggs. “Like in Critters or, more specifically in this case, Critters 2,” he explains for no one in particular inside his darkened basement. Dwight’s Easter Sunday is spent exterminating the deadly aliens, allowing Jim to purchase all the discounted candy from around the city. 17 people are killed by the ravenous monsters, and no direct link to Jim is ever established, allowing him to go unpunished again. Dwight’s faith in humanity takes another hit as Jim (his face covered in cheap chocolate) mugs for the camera.
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Apr 9, 2023 13:10
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Jim replaces all the eggs in Angela's ovaries with evil eggs laid by the devil. A year later, Jim gets a card in the mail celebrating the birth of Dwight and Angela's first child. Between the beaming parents, baby Beetram mugs evilly at the camera. Jim mugs identically as he holds the card up next to his face.
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Apr 9, 2023 21:12
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Jim hides a bunch of flea and tick eggs all over Schrute Farms for Easter. Also, a bunch of tapeworm eggs inside that year's crop of beets.
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Apr 10, 2023 05:04
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"You're really going to run an entire week of 'Fun Pranks for Jim to Play on Dwight'? That's such an old play, I don't think it's the right move for you. Financially, I mean." "I don't care about the finances of it," replies the man in the too-large, faded suit. "I care about the art. The theater's going out of business anyway. I was offered a pretty lucrative amount of money to sell this place and, quite frankly, I'm tired of running this place at a loss. 50 years I kept this theater running, much to the detriment of everything else in my life. No great romances for Mr. Eric Legrand, oh no, he had to keep the lights on at his family theater. No trips around the world. Why, I've barely left Scranton in the last 30 years. I'm old, I'm tired, and this place can get hosed, pardon my French." "Eric," replies the man's closest friend, who wished he was something much more than just a friend, "I really wish you'd avoid this play. I've heard... bad things about it." "Please, Tim, don't tell me you're worried about the Phantom of the Theater?! That's an old wives' tale my dearly departed mother cooked up to try and sell tickets." "I don't know, I just feel like there are eyes watching me sometimes. At night, when the theater's closed." "Just the rats, dear Timothy. The hideous scratching of the rats! Look out, they're coming to get you!" Eric theatrically pulls his jacket over his head and begins chasing Timothy (who Eric also wishes was much more than a friend) around while bellowing in his best Bela Lugosi impersonation. The comedic voice echoes through the aging ventilation system of the theater, eventually reaching the bowels of the basement. There, a hunched figure looms in the shadows. He moves towards a dust and cobweb covered filing cabinet, long ago abandoned and forgotten. A gloved hand daintily opens a drawer and pulls out a single file. It reads "Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight". "Heh heh heh. My favorite play. Of course," comes the raspy voice of The Phantom, "there will have to be some... rewrites." The Phantom, whose hideous visage hides behind a porcelain mask that seems to radiate pure smugness, begins to laugh maniacally.
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Apr 10, 2023 16:11
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Jim puts together a compilation of Jar Jar Binks flailing his hands while talking alongside obvious CGI editing errors, and presents it as evidence that Jar Jar is a top secret undercover sith lord. Dwight watches the video and that week, discusses the theory with Oscar at the water cooler. Jim overhears the chatter and can barely suppress his laughter that he managed to inception the idea that the floppy eared doofus Gungan was anything more than comic relief intended to sell toys to babies.
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Apr 10, 2023 18:05
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Jim hires the same CGI artists that brought Son of the Mask to life, then underpays them and gives them an impossible deadline and a bizarre task - "create CGI Jim sperm like in the film". When one of the artists asks what the context is for this VFX shot, Jim just smiles and then says "oh, yes" after an awkward pause. Weeks later, Dwight is looking over some old videotapes from his wedding when there's an abrupt cut to what Dwight at first thinks is Son of the Mask. But no, as the shot moves in, you can see that it's Jim's face, not The Mask, at the front of each sperm. The CGI sperm mug for the camera.
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Apr 10, 2023 18:56
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JediTalentAgent posted:Jim hides a bunch of flea and tick eggs all over Schrute Farms for Easter. the itching from fleas leads Dwight and Angela to buy expensive skin care creams and get in the habit of moisturizing regularly, leading them to have glowing healthy skin. the tapeworms cause weight loss, leading to a thinner, more svelt look that makes them the envy of the greater scranton metro area “Am I a dog or a person??” Mose bemoans his existential agony as he morphs from human to canine, fleas able to feed on his dog blood and wait out his human transformations, biting and licking ineffectively at his own abdomen
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Apr 10, 2023 20:18
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Desperate to "go back to [his] own time zone", Jim invents a static chamber out of spare parts from the Prankatorium. The machine is a loud, clanging mess of levers, pulleys, flywheels, and tension belts spinning and spitting steam connecting hoses and pipes to a beautiful sarcophagus of clear crystal. Jim lays himself down and seals the chamber, which begins to thrum ominously. Jim is "frozen" in time and ceases aging. He is completely still, and his house falls into disrepair as days and weeks pass. Pam (who happened to drive by the house a few weeks later) noticed that the grass was overgrown and the windows caved in. She asked Dwight to check in on Jim. Dwight explores that house and braves the dusty rooms until he finds Jim's infernal machine. Dwight sees Jim frozen with a permanent smirk inside his crystalline chamber, immobile for eternity. Dwight sighs and adopts Jim's house, cleaning and fixing it until it can be sold for Pam's children. Deep in the chamber, Jim turns and mugs the camera. He wasn't really frozen, he was just pretending.
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Apr 10, 2023 21:53
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Jim orders a case of sea monkeys, intending to set them free in Dwight's pond so the next time Dwight goes fishing, he catches an enraged monkey, or goes swimming and gets mauled by a monkey. Jim doesn't really care how the mauling happens. When the eggs arrive in the mail, Jim looks at the colorful monkeys on the package wearing flippers and swim goggles and Jim grins. "this might be the best mauling so far" he bemuses. That night, he cuts a hole through Dwight's fence (Jim knows the side gate is left unlocked, but he prefers cutting the fence) and sneaks to the pond, and dumps the eggs into the water. Three months later, Dwight is peacefully fishing on his dock when he feels a bite. He reels in, and is shocked to see an enraged monkey thrashing at the end of the fishing pole. As he tries to unhook the unfortunate primate, the monkey is able to rip out several handfuls of hair and fling feces into the open bite and scratch marks.
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Apr 10, 2023 21:58
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in an alternate dimension, a timeline where sea monkeys are actually a tiny crustacean called fairy shrimp, dwight’s pond briefly becomes extremely well stocked as the fairy shrimp become food for the perch and small mouth bass dwight raises. the extra omega three oils in the well fed fish combined with the moisturizer he and angela started using after they got rid of the fleas that briefly troubled them gives Dwight and Angela a healthy boost and pep in their step that clients notice as Dwight’s sales skyrocket. “I’m a human in this dimension!” Mose says out loud, before scratching at his own ear with his left foot, causing his right foot to tap involuntarily on the wooden floor of the barn
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Apr 10, 2023 23:24
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Dwight reaches for his coffee cup, only to have it yanked away at the last second. Jim, holding a length of fishing line that he's tied to the mug, mugs for the camera. Years later, Dwight stands over a dying Mose. Dwight has done everything he can to make the end comfortable, but it's still heartbreaking to see Mose in such a state. Dwight reaches a trembling hand out to comfort his nearest and dearest friend one last time. Just as his hand is about to touch Mose, Mose is yanked away. Jim, holding a length of fishing line that he's tied to the dying Mose, mugs for the camera.
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Apr 11, 2023 12:55
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jim poisons dwight with polonium, as a prank
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Apr 11, 2023 13:12
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In memory of the great Al Jaffee, Dwight commissions a massive "fold-in mural", the first ever to be constructed. Unfortunately, Pam ends up getting the job. "Is it okay, Dwight? I mean, it's exactly what you wanted, right?" Dwight tries to hide his disappointment as he looks at the mural. The perspective is all kinds of messed up, there are light sources casting shadows in directions they shouldn't be able to, and the scale is completely wrong. There's a tree that's apparently as tall as a man's forearm, then another tree next to it is 300 feet tall. Dwight says it's great and thanks Pam for completing the work. She happily heads back home, smiling for the first time in years. "I could prank it for you," comes the quiet voice of Jim on the wind, "and make it go away. A coat of paint, maybe I just smash the whole wall. Maybe I trap Kevin inside the painting. Either way, you can stop pretending you like the mural." Angry, Dwight tells Jim that he'll never fall to his pranking ways and storms off. "Oh, Dwight. Soon enough you'll learn the joy of pranking. And then you'll join me."
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Apr 11, 2023 13:25
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Jim starts telling everyone in the office about the mysterious Shriek Ape, a cryptid that's known to appear in the woods outside of Scranton in the early spring. Dwight is intrigued and asks Jim for more details. "Well," Jim says with a smile, "there's not much more to say. But every year, around this time of year, you can hear the Shriek Ape shriek when the night sky is clear and the stars are shining brightly. They say it's a mating call of some sort." That night, Dwight sits out on his porch and swears he hears shrieking over the horizon. He vows to find the Shriek Ape in order to prove its existence and get it declared a protected species. That weekend, Dwight heads into the woods with a full armory of camping gear, cameras, and dozens of other pieces of technology designed to prove the strange cryptid is real. After a full day of hunting, however, Dwight ends up with nothing. Dejected, Dwight sits in his tent that night and decides he'll just head home early the next morning. Then, suddenly, a shriek fills the air. It sounds incredibly close, prompting Dwight to leap out of his tent with a camera. Rushing towards the sound, Dwight finds a massive, hairy creature standing by a stream. It shrieks again, causing the very trees around it to shake The beast then sits down and begins to drink from the stream. Moving quickly, Dwight snaps a series of photos of the cryptid and makes a mental note of the location in order to return the next day and pick up some hair samples. Unfortunately, the clicking of the camera alerts the creature to Dwight's location. It shrieks again and chases after him, easily closing the distance between them with each stride of its long legs. It catches Dwight in mere moments and Dwight, terrified beyond belief, closes his eyes and prepares for the end. "Gotcha!" A chuckling Jim pulls the Shriek Ape mask off his head, then doubles over with laughter. "It's a loving costume, you moron! I'm on little stilts! Wow, Dwight, just... wow. Shriek Ape? And you believed every word! Buddy, you need to learn some common sense!" Jim is practically choking on his laughs now as he removes the bulky costume and throws it to the ground. He finally catches his breath and stops laughing. Dwight, frowning, says that he had hoped to discover a new creature. "Well, I sure discovered one, " Jim laughs, "the All-american DUMBASS! He stands about 6 feet tall, he's dumb as hell, and he -" Suddenly, a loud shriek fills the air and cuts Jim off. Bug-eyed and terrified, Jim looks at Dwight. Dwight looks back, convinced this is another part of the prank. "No, Dwight, it's not. I just poo poo my pants for real." Another shriek, even louder this time. There seems to be an unbridled joy and enthusiasm behind the shriek, and a terrified Jim and Dwight rush off into the woods in opposite directions. Another shriek and the camera crew decides to follow it all the way to its source - the Halpert House. There is an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway and candlelight fills the bedroom window. Another shriek and the camera crew decides they've got enough footage for tonight.
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Apr 11, 2023 18:20
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Jim "folds in" the mural, collapsing the Dunder Mifflin office as he folds a load-bearing wall in two.
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Apr 11, 2023 18:56
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim starts telling everyone in the office about the mysterious Shriek Ape, a cryptid that's known to appear in the woods outside of Scranton in the early spring. Dwight is intrigued and asks Jim for more details. Pam has to wheelchair to the hospital
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Apr 11, 2023 19:30
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Jim announces the alpha release of JimGPT, an AI chatbot based on the DeepPrank neural framework, trained on a dataset of Dennis the Menace comics and youtube pranks where people rig bicycles to explode when they get stolen. Each prank has an RSA256 crypto hash logged on the blockchain, and is driven by industry 4.0 bandwidth rated machine learning algorithms. Jim's company, Jymr, manages to secure 800 million dollars in the first round of venture capital funding, and Jim starts referring to Dwight as a "wagecuck." Dwight simply ignores Jim's friendly teasing, as he derived a deep sense of satisfaction from selling paper, and would do it for free. Three days later, Jim is desolate, having been forced to sell all but ten million of his controlling stock. Jymr was dissolved by the BBB after numerous complaints of JimGPT outputs causing beta users to self-immolate, or claw out their own eyeballs. Some users even experienced what the media dubs "auto cranium-implosion" (which medical science is still struggling to explain). Jim fucks off to Barbados to live in a yurt and snort coke for the rest of his life, or so the rumors say. Dwight chuckles sensibly to himself. He hopes his old friend finds peace and comfort and meaning.
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Apr 11, 2023 19:50
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Jim spends all day smoking "screech ape" at his desk so that the entire office reeks. Because Jim has a prescription from "doctor Halpert" to soothe the pain in his horribly mangled legs, Michael is powerless. Dwight is trapped in a net swinging from the ceiling.
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Apr 11, 2023 22:43
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Smoking a bubble pipe full of "screech ape", the new street drug that makes people grin uncontrollably, Jim wheels himself into the conference room. The body of Chips has been found in the break room, and two attempts on Dwight's life were made in the last hour. "Doctor Halpert" examines his suspects and prepares to solve the mystery.
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Apr 12, 2023 03:54
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poisonpill posted:Smoking a bubble pipe full of "screech ape", the new street drug that makes people grin uncontrollably, Jim wheels himself into the conference room. The body of Chips has been found in the break room, and two attempts on Dwight's life were made in the last hour. "Doctor Halpert" examines his suspects and prepares to solve the mystery. Somehow Dwight is found guilty and taken away by the police.
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Apr 12, 2023 04:18
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Jim wheels himself up to the glass separating him from the prisoners. Dwight picks up the phone and speaks, "You've gotta help get me out of here, Jim," he says, with an uncharacteristic edge of anxiety in his voice, "The Scranton Strangler said he was going to get me!" Jim turns and looks directly at the CCTV monitoring his visit.
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Apr 12, 2023 04:33
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Assistant Dogcatcher Jim learns that Dwight is keeping a screech ape in his barn. As the Scranton animal control squad closes in, Dwight must bid a tearful goodbye to the gentle giant, whom Dwight has affectionately named "Screechy." Unfortunately, before Screechy can make good his escape, Dwight sustains a fatal bullet wound from one of the agents' guns. Against Dwight's protests, Screechy uses his mysterious powers to heal Dwight's wound, but the effort proves too much for Screechy, who fades from existence before Dwight's very eyes, his body turning into a cloud of fireflies. "He wasn't a monster!" sobs Dwight, cradling the empty air Screechy once occupied. "He was gentle and kind! He—" Dwight's speech is cut off by Jim's tazer. Jim mugs for the cameras as Dwight convulses on the ground.
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Apr 12, 2023 12:28
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jim edits dwight's wikipedia page to include unsettling and embarrassing anecdotes
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Apr 12, 2023 12:41
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Jim uses multiple slurp juices on a single screech ape. so since he has 1 screech ape and 3 slurp juices he can create 3 new apes Dwight still doesn’t get it
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Apr 12, 2023 12:43
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim edits dwight's wikipedia page to include unsettling and embarrassing anecdotes Someone edit every prank from their thread into Wikipedia. It IS cannon, after all
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Apr 12, 2023 12:44
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For the 3rd day in a row, Dwight wakes up with a splitting headache. Angela worries that he may have sleep apnea and suggests he get a sleep study done. Dwight agrees with this, taking 2 ibuprofen and hoping the pain subsides before he has to head to work. When Dwight and Angela leave the bedroom Jim crawls out from under the bed holding a rubber mallet. He mugs for the camera.
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Apr 12, 2023 13:40
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Dwight is tasked with getting Jim, Chips, and a small hen across a river. Unfortunately, there are a few caveats making this much more difficult. The river is too treacherous to swim across, so Dwight has to use a tiny rowboat. Unfortunately, this is so small that it can only hold 2 passengers at a time. And, to make it even MORE annoying, if Jim is left alone with the hen he WILL eat it. While Dwight ponders the smallest number of trips necessary to complete this task, Jim eats the hen anyway.
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Apr 12, 2023 14:44
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LaserPrinter69 posted:(Jim knows the side gate is left unlocked, but he prefers cutting the fence) A pure distillation of who Jim is.
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Apr 12, 2023 15:02
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jim notices dwight is having a bad day so he goes to the store "here ya go dwight" he says handing dwight his favorite bagel "dwight smugly picks up the bagel and dramatically drops it into the trash can. "nice try, halpert" "good job, dwight." says jim handing dwight a second bagel, "it's a reward for not falling for the first." dwight quickly snatches the bagel and nibbles it with a small smile.
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Apr 12, 2023 17:36
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| # ? May 29, 2024 09:21 |
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jim starts calling dwight "mommy"
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#
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Apr 12, 2023 17:42
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