r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Woozie66 posted:

It's true, I'm Malcom Excellent's manager and I did fire them

Too bad you aren't Malcom's excellent manager instead.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:07

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:11

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I know I�m the last person who should be encouraging this but I immediately call bullshit when there�s a loving screenplay.

It's from Not Always Right, so of course it's Bullshit.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:34

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I know I’m the last person who should be encouraging this but I immediately call bullshit when there’s a loving screenplay.

The Not Always sites have a house style that submissions are rewritten into. The script might not have been in the original source.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:35

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

NAW = Not Always Right?

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:35

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

NAW = Not Always Right?

Not Always Working. One of the Not Always family of sites.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:46

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I�m learning so much, thank you friends.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:47

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

ApplesandOranges posted:

It's NAW instead of reddit, but I figure it keeps in the theme of the thread.

I love notalwaysright's incredibly specific brand of stdh.txt.

Not Always Right was the original site and then they made splinter sites focusing on specific topics including family, school, and work. NAW is probably from "notalwaysworking."

edit:beaten

AITA for being �jealous� of my brother with cancer

quote:

I (F18) have a brother (M26) who has terminal cancer.

Ever since he got sick, my family has given me less attention which is understandable. But now it feels like it�s to the point where they don�t care about me as much anymore.

We have a family groupchat, on my birthday everybody asked how he was doing instead of wishing me a happy birthday. My parents watch movies with him and spend time with him and never invite me.

A few days ago I got frustrated by the fact that I am feeling so left out and ignored that i told my mom about it. I told her i was feeling like a �glass child�. She called me disgusting and couldn�t believe that i was �jealous� of my brother with cancer. So, aita?

EDIT

For clarification, im not jealous that my brother has cancer. To be honest i�m not jealous at all; i simply used that word because it�s the word my mom used to describe me.

I spend time with my brother. We recently went on an overseas trip just the two of us together. What i�m upset about is that my family doesn�t put much of an effort to check in on me or spend time with me.

I understand that he has a limited time left and that they want to continue to spend time with him before he�s gone but still, don�t i deserve love too?

For the inevitable question "what the hell is a glass child?" it's the sibling of a child with a disability/chronic illness/drug addiction/etc that results in parents prioritizing them over other children and "looking through" the glass child.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Apr 21, 2023

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:48

mutantIke: Oct 24, 2022; Born in '04
Certified Zoomer

ApplesandOranges posted:

It's NAW instead of reddit, but I figure it keeps in the theme of the thread.

that cashier absolutely just got cheated on

# ? Apr 21, 2023 00:52

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

With the manager?

# ? Apr 21, 2023 01:03

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

With the guy buying the groceries.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 01:20

edogawa rando: Mar 20, 2007

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for being �jealous� of my brother with cancer

For the inevitable question "what the hell is a glass child?" it's the sibling of a child with a disability/chronic illness/drug addiction/etc that results in parents prioritizing them over other children and "looking through" the glass child.

Saw that earlier. I genuinely feel bad for the kid. She's in a rough situation, and she's being treated like a complete afterthought.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 01:37

Pomme de Terror: Sep 30, 2021; Well, one of us must have killed him!

AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay proportional rent and bills?

quote:

I (M29) have lived together with my girlfriend (F29) for three years. We have always split bills and rent proportional to income (she introduced this idea and explained why she supports its equitable breakdown) and we both do chores and housework equally. Up until a month ago, I earned almost double her income. However, my company has been doing pay cuts and my girlfriend recently got a major promotion, so now she makes about 50% more than I do.

However, now she wants us to �either keep the rent/bills pay distribution as it was before� (as in she pays 35% and I pay 65%) or she �will pay 50/50, max.� I asked her why we are not doing proportional splits anymore and she said I should just be grateful that she is flexible enough to upend her finances for me and split it 50/50. She�s been cold with me recently and told me she shouldn�t have to punish herself for her financial successes and that my �lack of adaptability is off putting.�

AITA?

AITA for not allowing my neighbor to park in my driveway?

quote:

My (37f) neighbors have 5 cars, and a 2 car driveway. There looks to be 3 generations living in the home. There is at least 5 drives and they are constantly shuffling cars around between the garage, the driveway, and a car parked in the grass. Our town tickets cars parked on the street overnight, and it�s a suburban area so no public parking or a lot anywhere. Yesterday someone called the police on the car in the grass saying it looked abandoned. The family is here all legally, but the father came over and explained it really freaked everyone out, and the police were checking green cards and such.

I can easily put 6 cars in my driveway as well as I have a 2 car garage. It�s only my children and myself here, and I�m the only driver. We have one car. My neighbor is asking to put a car in my driveway now. That way no one will bother him about the car in the grass and it will make their lives easier. I said no because of liability. I really do not know my neighbors and my kids play in my front yard constantly. I have dings on my car from scooters and bikes, as well as sometimes we do crafts in the driveway. I honestly just don�t want to bother with another car and asking them to move� or if I have company them suddenly not having a place to park their car� my neighbor told me I was a huge rear end in a top hat because I have all this space and his kids have to live in constant fear of the police showing up again and checking their green cards and:or vistas. AITA here? I feel terrible.

ETA: I sat on this all day. I called a lawyer and put downs deposit for them to come up with a contract that stipulates 1 car, zero liability (even knowing my child may damage the car), and I could cancel at anytime. When I got out of my car the neighbor yelled �dumb oval office� at me. So I canceled the document all together and didn�t mention it to the neighbor.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 01:41

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Vegetable posted:

Babies are in fact killing the planet. But regardless of whether you believe this OP is entirely entitled to not attend a party without judgement. As long as they�re not toxic about it everything seems ok to me

This is all fair enough.

But "Sorry, I can't come because I'm busy." or "Sorry, I just started here and I don't know Susan well enough to attend." are perfectly reasonable answers that will cause no trouble and also are true in this case.

"I am not coming to this casual work baby shower because YOU ARE KILLING THE WORLD WITH YOUR BABY!!! also YOU ARE TOO YOUNG at 25 TO BE DOING SO!!!!!" is the answer of a weirdo zealot that nobody in that workplace will ever want anything to do with ever again.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 02:19

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay proportional rent and bills?

goose gander etc

# ? Apr 21, 2023 02:42

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for uninviting in-laws from family dinner after SIL insulted my parents?

Is that a thing people really believe? I mean I assume it's just some weird rear end White Supremist poo poo, but REALLY?!?!

Is that Norse theory why some of the crazy anti-Semites call Jews �elves�?

Also, Passover is the best high holiday for non-Jews to go to cause you get to eat delicious food during the ceremony. Also the best high holiday for Jewish kids with severe adhd, for the same reason.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 03:40

Hawkperson: Jun 20, 2003

Bored posted:

Is that Norse theory why some of the crazy anti-Semites call Jews �elves�?

Also, Passover is the best high holiday for non-Jews to go to cause you get to eat delicious food during the ceremony. Also the best high holiday for Jewish kids with severe adhd, for the same reason.

haven�t met many people who enjoy Passover food. Other than charoset, that poo poo rocks

# ? Apr 21, 2023 04:13

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

on today's episode of evil stepmothers:

AITA for asking my stepdaughter to buy something for her siblings?

quote:

I have been married to my husband for 13 years and we have 3 kids. One of them is my stepdaughter Emma who is 16 and another one is my daughter Leah who is 15 and our son Max who is 12.

My hsuband's brother is a very wealthy man. He owns multiple companies and shops. He gave Emma a part time job and is giving her a very generous salary. I asked him to hire Leah as well but he makes excuses and refuses to do so.

Anyway, Emma is in charge of taking the kids to school and bringing them back home(they all go to the same school and Emma is the only one with a car)

Every day after school she buys herself an ice cream, bagel or any other snack and she eats it while her siblings are watching. I asked her to please either stop doing this or at least buy one for them as well. She asked me to pay her but money is tight and we can't afford that right now. She thinks I'm an rear end in a top hat for expecting that but I think she is the rear end in a top hat because she earns a very good salary for a part time job and she can afford to make her siblings happy

it gets better in the comments:

quote:

Emma earned those treats by working. Her siblings being jealous is unfortunate, but maybe it will inspire them to work when they can, and have Emma�s drive.

If Leah wants to work I am sure other places would hire her, so this isn�t about her not getting the same job as Emma.

YTA.

Edit: I don�t think it�s very nice that she�s doing that, but it is her right.

OP posted:

Where else is going to pay 40000 yearly salary for an easy 20 hours a week job?

quote:

That's not emma's or her uncle's problem.

OP posted:

It very much is. He is the one giving her a job in which she is doing exactly nothing and getting paid for it. He shouldn't be favoring her like this

i guess he should favor the kid he isn't related to

quote:

Emma is his niece. And maybe is not a big thing to drive them to school, but it's still a favour she does for you.

OP posted:

A favour? No WE bought her a car and this is what she has to do in return. It's not a favour

quote:

I smellBS. If you can afford to buy one kid a car, you can afford to give your other 2 kids money for snacks.

OP posted:

Maybe we should take away the car and sell it to buy snacks for the other 2 them

just a class act all around

# ? Apr 21, 2023 04:22

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Comments are trying to point out to her that if they take away her car then Op and her husband will be responsible for carting around all the children.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 04:47

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay proportional rent and bills?

This golden ring I found sure is nifty. Makes me feel like a big shot. Wait why is everyone telling me to get rid of it? They want it for themselves! It's mine it came to me. My own. My precious.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 04:47

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for expecting my girlfriend to pay proportional rent and bills?

She's on her way to paying 100% of her rent. What kind of heartless jerk can't even return a back scratch to the person they claim to love, helping them through a hard time?

Hell, not even that, she's getting offended at the notion he stop scratching her back at all because he's hit hard times and she's out of hard times and can support herself

# ? Apr 21, 2023 04:56

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

If it's real, then she wants to break up with him now he's poor but wants him to be the Bad Guy in the breakup.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:01

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA (36F) for telling my husband (37M) "No is a full sentence"?

quote:

We were watching a show about a dead comedian who told a popular vulgar joke in the 80s that I've never heard.

The show we were watching didn't air the joke but my husband wanted me to hear it. I asked him what it was about, he gave me the gist and I said I didn't want to hear it.

No attitude at that point from me, we were actually having a very typical, good night and were about to finish the show and go to bed. Over the next couple minutes he is like "the joke is really funny , I think you'd think it was funny" & I said again, "No, I'm good" then he scrolls thru YouTube and pulls it up and I'm like, "I really don't want to hear this joke, I'm all set" STILL with no attitude from me, no tone shift at all but he gets super irritated out of no where demanding I tell him why I don't want to hear this joke, to which I respond "No is a full sentence" definitely with an attitude but not like screaming at him, just stern, because I'm serious, I don't want to hear this joke and I had already said I don't want to hear it at least twice.

Well, he gets furious, not screaming but the vibe shifts entirely and he says something like "Wow what the f*ck" and then some things I literally can't remember because this whole thing makes no sense to me and threw me off, so I try my best to remain emotionally flat because I really don't want to or need to fight about this and obviously my tone triggered some visceral response in him i don't know how to navigate, so I said again, nicely, "Im sorry that was a bitchy thing to say but i don't want to hear jokes about that poo poo and I already told you no like 4 times, which should be enough." and he literally just stormed off to bed.

We have been together for a long time and thankfully don't really have problems but this is something that happens sometimes when I really just don't want to engage with some of the media he likes and I really don't understand it.

I think I might be the rear end in a top hat here because my tone was rude when I said "no is a full sentence" but it is a full sentence and I don't understand why I'm expected to dissect all my reasons for saying no before it's taken seriously? I'm not a perfect specimen but I never force him to do or watch or listen to literally anything at all ever and I certainly do not ever demand he give me a reason for any "no" he gives me about anything. We have no problem talking about most things, even things we very much disagree with, but for some reason when I don't want to just sit her and watch whatever content he is interested in he gets extremely pissed off extremely fast and I never know what to do except apologize and watch the drat thing but this time even saying sorry wasn't enough. I just really do not get it.

"gently caress you" is a complete sentence as well. so is "i'm leaving you"

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:23

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

as for what the joke was:

"wow, that's quite an act, what do you call yourself?" "OP's husband!!"

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:27

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Foo Diddley posted:

as for what the joke was:

"wow, that's quite an act, what do you call yourself?" "OP's husband!!"

lol

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:34

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Guy and his wife walk into a divorce lawyer's office. Guy says to the lawyer, "man, have I got an act for you!?"

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:34

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

few things are worse than someone insisting you HAVE to watch this because it is so loving hilarious, and it turns out after ten minutes of searching, it's a 30 second video of someone tripping and falling over into some dog poo poo with a jump scare at the end.

And then they get mad because "it's funny, why aren't you laughing!"

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:37

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Foo Diddley posted:

on today's episode of evil stepmothers:

AITA for asking my stepdaughter to buy something for her siblings?

it gets better in the comments:

i guess he should favor the kid he isn't related to

just a class act all around

Mom's an idiot but if they are poor to the point where the younger kids have literally zero spending money and Emma is buying something literally every day in front of them, she's an rear end in a top hat.

Not THE rear end in a top hat in this situation of course, because she shouldn't have to buy them anything, and she's 16 so it's not like there's any teeth behind my post as all 16yos are assholes, but still an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:38

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Hawkperson posted:

haven�t met many people who enjoy Passover food. Other than charoset, that poo poo rocks

I'm a weirdo who actually likes matzah but there's also the meal in the middle. Matzah ball soup, gefilte fish (this one's weird and I don't blame anyone for disliking it, I'm really particular about the brand I like), brisket, good stuff.

Also fruit slice candy that tastes terrible (Mom calls them lysol slices and she's not wrong) but it wouldn't be Passover without them.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:38

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

Hawkperson posted:

haven�t met many people who enjoy Passover food. Other than charoset, that poo poo rocks

If you're willing to be flexible about the permissibility of rice and legumes, make friends with some Sephardim and that will change very quickly.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:39

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Cowslips Warren posted:

few things are worse than someone insisting you HAVE to watch this because it is so loving hilarious, and it turns out after ten minutes of searching, it's a 30 second video of someone tripping and falling over into some dog poo poo with a jump scare at the end.

And then they get mad because "it's funny, why aren't you laughing!"

I have defused this by saying I'd like to focus on spending time with them while we're face to face and to send it to me so I can watch it later and then not watching it.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:51

carrionman: Oct 30, 2010

Invisible Clergy posted:

I have defused this by saying I'd like to focus on spending time with them while we're face to face and to send it to me so I can watch it later and then not watching it.

Please tell me they were co workers

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:57

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

i just slap the phone out of their hands then run like hell

and yes, these are coworkers

# ? Apr 21, 2023 05:59

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

I have the perfect joke to tell the husband

Wenn ist das Nunst�ck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

(if he speaks German)

# ? Apr 21, 2023 06:24

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

haveblue posted:

I have the perfect joke to tell the husband

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

(if he speaks German)

That's not German nor is it a joke.
German humor is no laughing matter, you Grasdackel

# ? Apr 21, 2023 06:29

edogawa rando: Mar 20, 2007

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

That's not German nor is it a joke.
German humor is no laughing matter, you Grasdackel

You utter philistine.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 06:33

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Foo Diddley posted:

My (32F) husband (34M) is claiming that he didn’t know my sister (33F) is gay and is now saying he doesn’t want our kids (12M, 8F & 6F) around her.

just an incredible amount of obliviousness all around, really. did these two spend their entire 13 year+ relationship making smalltalk about the weather or something?

there's a happy ending tho:

This is a while back, but I guarantee you the reason he didn't commit noticable homophobia before is because he only recently jumped onto the 2023 anti-LGBT mass hysteria bandwagon like so many other dipshits have the past couple months. He legit didn't notice she was actually gay until his fellow slack-jawed yokels started screaming about protecting children from "woke degenerate woke groomers brainwashing kids into the woke gay/trans woke communist woke antifa woke depopulation woke agenda".

# ? Apr 21, 2023 07:00

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

Bored posted:

Also, Passover is the best high holiday for non-Jews to go to cause you get to eat delicious food during the ceremony.

Isn't there one where you're supposed to drink until you can't tell people apart or something? (not a high holiday? Or did I totally misunderstand whoever told me about it?)

# ? Apr 21, 2023 07:12

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA (36F) for telling my husband (37M) "No is a full sentence"?

I am not trying to give the guy credit but I am shocked he still hasn�t played it anyway while she�s taking a poo poo or something.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 08:05

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

haveblue posted:

I have the perfect joke to tell the husband

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

(if he speaks German)

I think you ought to put a NMS warning on this one.

# ? Apr 21, 2023 08:23

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:11

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Mom's an idiot but if they are poor to the point where the younger kids have literally zero spending money and Emma is buying something literally every day in front of them, she's an rear end in a top hat.

Not THE rear end in a top hat in this situation of course, because she shouldn't have to buy them anything, and she's 16 so it's not like there's any teeth behind my post as all 16yos are assholes, but still an rear end in a top hat.

For some reason these stories always involve step or half siblings but I could see it being an issue with full siblings who ostensibly like each other.

And not all sixteen year old are AHs. We've seen in this very thread that's not the case.

What I think would be a real challenge is if one sibling is absolutely loaded. Like a famous child actor or grandparents' favourite who got a massive inheritance. Assuming parents aren't just raiding their bank accounts how do you get over a lifestyle there is no way the parents could provide for the other kids?

# ? Apr 21, 2023 08:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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