BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

It looks Riverdale is missing Hanley Ramirez and Drew Pomeranz

# ? Apr 18, 2023 21:30

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# ? May 25, 2024 21:30

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

The Bidens are missing:
1970 Jerry Grote
1946 Hal Wagner
1946 Dom DiMaggio
1976 Tony Oliva
1977 Chris Speier
1995 Luis Aquino

If Gary Carter gets hurt, I dunno who'll have to catch. Rudy York?

# ? Apr 18, 2023 23:15

shepard.shouldgo: Feb 2, 2016

DannoMack posted:

It looks Riverdale is missing Hanley Ramirez and Drew Pomeranz

I am also missing a drew pomeranz I think

# ? Apr 19, 2023 01:04

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

Yukon Yuukos

Unsure about the status of these players. Only really care about the first, because he's a 3rd string catcher, if that makes your job any easier:

C - 2001 Dan Wilson
1B - 2009 Mark Teixeira
SS - 1999 Walt Weiss

HulkaMatt fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Apr 19, 2023

# ? Apr 19, 2023 01:22

PASS THE MASH: Oct 30, 2013

I�m missing Andrelton Simmons and Kevin Kiermaier. Simmons is the one I care about tbh.

# ? Apr 19, 2023 01:43

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

: looks like we lost some of the bros on our trip through the time warp!

: And check out Matty Williams! Looks like a totally different guy!

: Just a quick change around to get everything sorted, please and thank you Se�or Fairgame.

Changes
1. Rudy York to Minors
2. Jerry Grote replacement/Backup Catcher #1 to Bench & set as Personal Catcher for Bert Blyleven
3. Flip the Lineup v. LHP as follows:

Lineup v LHP
1. 1977 Tony Perez, R, 1B
2. 1946 Ted Williams, L, DH
3. 1977 Gary Carter, R, C
4. 1995 Barry Bonds, L, LF
5. "1995 Matt Williams", R, 3B
6. 1977 Larry Hisle, R, RF
7. 1977 Andre Dawson, R, CF
8. 1946 Bobby Doerr, R, 2B
9. 1946 Johnny Pesky, L, SS

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 13:55 on Apr 19, 2023

# ? Apr 19, 2023 13:53

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

SOUTH TOWN GEESE

Lineup:

1. RF Mookie Betts
2. DH Bryce Harper
3. 1B Henry Aaron
4. LF Barry Bonds
5. 3B Justin Turner (vs LHP)/Jose Ramirez (vs RHP)
6. SS Corey Seager
7. 2B Jeff Kent
8. CF Chet Lemon
9. C Carlton Fisk

# ? Apr 19, 2023 20:48

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Luna Landers:

Kal Daniels and Rico Carty to the majors. Jason Varitek and George Scott to the minors.

Lineup vs R:

2B Joe Morgan
SS Nomar Garciaparra
LF Yaz
1B Mo Vaughn
C Johnny Bench
CF Jim Edmonds
RF Reggie Smith
DH Kal Daniels
3B Ken Keltner

Lineup vs L:

2B Joe Morgan
SS Nomar Garciaparra
LF Yaz
DH George Foster
1B Mo Vaughn
C Johnny Bench
CF Reggie Smith
RF Tim Salmon
3B Ken Keltner

Bench:
Rico Carty
Rico Petrocelli
Rico Valentin
Rico Edmonds/Rico Salmon platoon
Rico Foster/Rico Daniels platoon

Dennis Leonard to the majors, Bret Saberhagen to the minors.

SP Pedro
SP DeGrom
SP Seaver - personal catcher Rico Carty
SP Leonard
SP Wilson

CL Percival
SU Campbell
SR Lowe
SR Gordon
MR Borbon
MR Garcia
LR Siebert

But no Ricos to be found.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 08:52

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Please make this the Airwing batting order and pitching

code:

Bats
SS Turner
RF Harper
LF Soto
DH Puig
1B Olerud
C Hundley
2B Boone
3B Rendon
CF Ichiro

Bench
SS Ramirez
UT Kent
OF Kemp
UT Martinez
C Wieters

Pitching
SP1 Kershaw
SP2 Scherzer
SP3 Cone
SP4 Cone
SP5 Kluber

CL Jansen
SU Doolittle
SR Franco
SR Holland
SR Rhodes
MR Soriano
LR Beckett

# ? Apr 20, 2023 15:42

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Libertas et Mors, Part I posted:

Ultimately, Smasher Dynamo could not deny that the Super-League had been a mistake.

Granted, the Super-League was not, in and of itself, the proximate cause of his present circumstances. No, that would imply a hopelessly self-centered view of the universe, that all of Smasher Dynamo's present misery was the direct result of his own choices, and while that was tempting to believe, as there was little Smasher Dynamo enjoyed more than self-flagellation, the truth was the universe was a chaotic, uncaring place, where bad things simply happened because they happened. There was no greater order to it.

For that matter, as much as Smasher Dynamo had any agency in his own life, he was not the only person in the universe. Everyone else was capable of making decisions, and those decisions created ripples that affected others.

In this particular case, that ripple had hit Smasher Dynamo rather hard.

Twelve years ago, Smasher Dynamo had created the Super-League, with hopes of...

Smasher Dynamo paused, trying to remember what he had been trying to accomplish. It had been a long time ago, and felt still longer. He had hopes then, though they had been inchoate. Hopes that his writing in the Super-League might lead somewhere, though he could not recall why he thought that was a realistic belief. There had been studies that showed that the average male's brain did not mature until their early-to-mid twenties. It was possible that the Super-League was his brain's last gasp at youthful fantasy before mature reality came crashing down.

Looking at his surroundings, Smasher Dynamo felt that reality. He had been imprisoned in a small concrete chamber. There were no windows, so it was impossible to see whether he was above-ground. On a desk sat a computer. It was limited in its functionality, only allowing him to communicate with his captor as well as search the internet, but only for sites related to baseball.

On the ground, he saw an opened box of instant oatmeal. He still had six of the ten packets left. It had taken some negotiation, and a great deal of concessions on Smasher Dynamo's part, but he had convinced the man to at least give him the variety pack rather than just plain oatmeal. He rifled through the packets. Four of the six were peaches and cream. Smasher Dynamo wondered why it was that, in a variety pack, the company put in two of the strawberries and cream, two of the blueberries and cream, two of the bananas and cream, and yet four of the peaches and cream. He could not imagine that the peach variety was twice as popular.

A dull tone alerted him to a new message. With some reluctance, he approached the monitor to read the missive.

FairGame posted:

I need more words.

Stick to baseball this time. No one wants to read your fantasy poo poo.

It was hard to argue with the last part.

Smasher Dynamo looked around his cell. He wondered if the dimensions were a perfect cube. He had no way of measuring it to find out. His mind had begun to drift lately. He was sure if it was because of the isolation, or because he had trouble sleeping. A concrete floor was not an ideal bed.

His mind drifted once more. There was no reason to believe that FairGame would let him go even if he kept writing for the Super-League. No, this place would be where his gross flesh would sink downward, here to die.

Yes, Smasher Dynamo recalled where he had paraphrased that quote from. Shakespeare's histories were not among his most popular works, and Richard II was no exception in that regard.

Still, the story of a king who, through poor decision-making and the ambitions of others, had ended up deposed and imprisoned had a certain resonance at the moment.

But there would be no misguided Sir Exton to release Smasher Dynamo from his troubles.

Smasher Dynamo stared at the computer screen. He wanted to write about anything other than baseball. There remained nothing exciting in the game. It had always been true that baseball had been a business, and nothing more than a business to the people who actually controlled the teams, but there had been a pretense that the game represented something more, something different.

The illusion had never been entirely convincing, after all there were the collusion scandals as far back as the mid-'80s, and the strike of '94-'95 had certainly exposed the grim capitalistic desires of the owners, but there had been at least attempts to hide the truth.

In the age of analytics, however, no such lie was necessary. Analytics, so it was said, had brought a new era of efficiency to the game, whereby advanced statistics would allow front offices to create the most effective teams divorced from the frailties of human perception.

Of course, it just happened that those efficiencies happened to play entirely to the team owners' financial benefit. Analytics showed that young players on cost-controlled contracts would, on a dollar-per-dollar basis, outperform veteran free agents. That the system of free agency was based in such a way that players had no chance at free agency before they entered their decline years, of course, was rarely discussed.

Analytics showed that a team was better off going through perpetual cycles of rebuilding, with only brief windows of contention between them. It was simply not optimal strategy to try and keep a championship core together once the players started hitting free agency. As a result, in any given year, half of the teams in the league, or more, would simply not try and compete.

Smasher Dynamo did not want to write anymore about baseball. He hung his head. Surely, at some point, all of the people in his life who cared about him, they would notice that he had gone missing, and attempt some sort of rescue.

Smasher Dynamo laughed. It was good that this imprisonment had only destroyed his will to live, and not his sense of humor.

What should Smasher Dynamo do?

A. Escape into fantasy!

B. Write about Jarred Kelenic! It's all anyone ever talks about anymore!

C. Cease this disobedience and do as FairGame commands!

D. WACKY HIJINKS!

STANDINGS

# ? Apr 20, 2023 16:13

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

B for the love of god B

# ? Apr 20, 2023 16:16

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Voting C.

also Pianosa subs Bob Lemon in for the injured Tyler Glasnow.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 16:28

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

FairGame posted:

Voting C.

also Pianosa subs Bob Lemon in for the injured Tyler Glasnow.

You would, you monster. Voting D because as we all know wacky hijinks is the solution and source of all problems in the SL narrative.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 16:48

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Love to see D. WACKY HIJINKS

# ? Apr 20, 2023 16:52

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

~~The only thing I'd pick over D would be if dancing were an option. As it is not, hijinks shall ensue.~~

e: Actually, Smasher deserves to have a chance to indulge in fantasy after all the hard work he's put in these long years. Changing to A.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 18:42 on Apr 20, 2023

# ? Apr 20, 2023 16:56

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Voting for dark horse candidate A.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 17:18

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

A

I liked the fantasy

# ? Apr 20, 2023 17:22

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

More hijinks plz

Voting D

# ? Apr 20, 2023 18:03

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

Edit: Wait Nevermind

# ? Apr 20, 2023 18:06

Craig K: Nov 10, 2016; puck

Pungry posted:

B for the love of god B

# ? Apr 20, 2023 18:52

Moleboy: Apr 20, 2011; Looksy
-Hindsight-

Looking Back, I am sure of 2 things:
1. I should have found the thread before it finished
2. Grimper may have actually done one or two things wrong

Sorry for asking this a tad late, new job stuff got me all distracted.

Changes:

Christy Mathewson to replace Jamie Moyer
Ken Williams replaces Mike Greenwell
Ben Chapman replaces Jay Buhner
Bruce Hurst in for Michael Jackson

Thanks!

# ? Apr 20, 2023 19:33

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Voting C.

Niekro to MR, replacing Dave Smith.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 19:39

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

quote:

What should Smasher Dynamo do?

A. Escape into fantasy!

# ? Apr 20, 2023 20:31

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

ESCAPE TO FANTASY, SMASHER

# ? Apr 20, 2023 20:50

Zodiac5000: Jun 19, 2006; Protects the Pack!; Doctor Rope

D.

Hijinks are good.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 21:09

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

C! Fairgame knows best!

# ? Apr 20, 2023 21:28

shepard.shouldgo: Feb 2, 2016

Pander posted:

C! Fairgame knows best!

this, minus the best part, the kozmic space fish happened

# ? Apr 20, 2023 22:00

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

Let's go with A and see what fantasies Smasher can find on the other side of despair.

# ? Apr 20, 2023 22:09

oystertoadfish: Jun 17, 2003

# ? Apr 21, 2023 01:32

CirclMastr: Jul 4, 2010

Voting for A

# ? Apr 21, 2023 14:10

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Voting A. Smasher Dynamo retreating into his own mind can only lead to good things!

# ? Apr 22, 2023 04:13

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

WEEK TWO

Libertas et Mors, Part Two posted:

A. Retreat into Fantasy

Smasher decided that he would escape this grim and terrible reality by escaping into a world of fantasy.

No matter that the curs in the thread had derided his earlier fantasy story, he enjoyed enough for everyone. Yes, retreating into the world of fantasy, that was where he was a viking.

Now, where had he left things off...

Project Storg, Part 27" posted:

There had been people living in the north for thousands of years before the first colonies from the Old Empire were established. Civilizations rose and fell, with only scattered fragments of their culture remaining. Yet, some fragments had endured. In front of Will stood a large, monumental temple. The stone walls showed the weight of age, yet still stood. Most likely it had once been an important shrine to some sort of deity, but even that was conjecture.

�There�s a good chance that we�re going to die here.� Will said. There had been no guards posted outside the ruined church where Eli had traced Colthoth and Hannelore to. Given their last encounter, they likely saw no real need. What possible threat could Will and his allies pose to their plans?

Not that Will had any idea whatsoever what those plans were. Will didn�t care. He wanted to rescue Hartley. Anything else was of no real concern to him. Finding Tristan had forced him to reevaluate matters. He had never felt a great desire to avenge Renno�s death at the hands of Colthoth, and now he felt none. Colthoth was just an obstacle.

An invincible, unrelenting violent obstacle.

An obstacle who could tear Will�s head off with his bare hands with no real difficulty.

An obstacle that would leave Tristan alone if Celia abandoned him again.

Will didn�t want to die.

�Where is your confidence? You have the greatest weapon ever created at your disposal!� Florenz said. �We will drown our enemies in rivers of their own blood!�

Xi-Qoppa looked at Florenz. �I know we don�t really have time to discuss it at the moment, but I would once again like to express my discomfort over the fact that a sentient being was created for the sole purpose of violence.�

�You�re just jealous that you�ve had to construct your own meaning of life, whereas I know what I was put on this world to do: stab! And sometimes shoot! And bludgeon!� Florenz said.

Will sighed. He had accepted Florenz because he needed any edge he could get, but he was worried it was not enough. Donnel had fought Colthoth on numerous occasions, and had won exactly zero of those encounters. But for the fact that she apparently could not die, she would perished several dozen times over. Xi-Qoppa was something of an unknown quantity when it came to combat. She was clearly more powerful than a normal human, but it wasn�t as if she seemed capable of defeating Colthoth or Hannelore in their last encounter. That she now had that modified gun that she could carry by herself without difficulty gave him some confidence that the issue that had with deploying the gun last time might be avoided, but they still had no idea if it would even be able to hurt Colthoth. �The gun is fixed, right?�

�Yes.� Xi-Qoppa said, clearly uncomfortable for some reason. �I had help.� That threw Will off for a second. He had recalled her saying that any knowledge of the weapon would have been restricted to people alive back when it was first built. There were troubling implications to that last statement. But, like Florenz, he simply had to take things as they were. They had bigger problems.

He looked over at Tara. Her armor had given way to just a black jacket over a white shirt. �Giving up on even the chain mail?�

�Hannelore cut through plate the last time I faced her.� Tara said. �I don�t think chainmail would do me a tremendous amount of good.�

�Is this the part where you give a rousing speech?� Donnel asked.

Will looked around. There was nothing he could say that was going to materially change the morale. No one needed any extra motivation. �I would say that I would prefer for no one to die, but realistically, if anyone�s going to die, it�s almost certainly me.� Will�s anxiety got the better of him, as he realized that while literally everyone else he was with was able to survive getting stabbed or hacked apart, at least to some degree, all it would take was one good hit to kill him. �I don�t want to die.�

Donnel grabbed Will by the shoulders, �Then don�t.� She said, before letting him go, and heading into the shrine. Will hung his head. If he died, he doubted Tristan would forgive him. After all, he had always resented his parents, slightly, for getting themselves killed, even though they had no choice. And now he had no choice. He hoped Tristan, one day, would have a choice.