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Considering you’re already in an “A” rated area in a house that is affordable since you were lucky enough to buy when you did… Why even bother looking at the “what ifs?” I mean if you have the luxury to afford to move whenever wherever that’s one thing, but there really is no 100% perfect dream forever home. All properties come with some kind of compromise, for example if your #1 reason to move is for the school, you are going to have to give up some of your “dream” wishes for your actual house/property. Take school district out of it completely, does your dream forever home exist there? Is it still your forever home after your kids are adults and move out? It seems like you have a pretty sweet set up already, in a school district that’s good, that isn’t full of privileged rich kids and their parents, with an affordable house, which even if it isn’t “forever” could be perfectly suitable for now…
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Apr 20, 2023 03:26
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You could do what I did and buy a nice home in a nice school district and imagine settling down and raising kids there in your ostensibly blue county in a purple state. Then the governor and House pass wave after wave of hateful legislation and now you live in Saudi Arabia and you have to get the gently caress out.
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Apr 20, 2023 03:47
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Don’t mind me kids, just tearing up while chopping veggies for dinner because I’m a sucker for sappy music and we’re listening to the Moana soundtrack and the “song of the ancestors” is playing where she sings about her identity and I’m hoping my kids can find their own identities but still love their mama and… “Mama, I want you and papa to get married!” “Not all families have a mama and papa who are married, and that’s okay.” “But I want you to be married! I drew a picture of you and papa and me and my brother thinking about being all together!” Then, “Know Who You Are” starts to play, and Moana is pouring her heart out, “they have stolen your heart from inside you, but this does not define you, this is not who you are, you know who you are.” Dammit Disney and Spotify!! Were you listening to our conversation?! Part of me is glad all the bad stuff happened early enough where the kids won’t ever remember us being a family, but I was NOT PREPARED to start having these conversations this early. She just turned four! I thought I had like another several years at least??
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Apr 20, 2023 03:48
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Blinkz0rz posted:I'm curious what "compromise" means in this case. What do you think is the difference between a "good" education and something better? I ask because I went to one of the highest rated school systems in the US (a looooong time ago but still) and it's worth noting that aggregate data doesn't capture the kind of individual experience that's so crucial in education. Personally I have mixed feelings about my own education. It was very college prep focused and there was basically a single track you could follow in any subject area (for example, they had AP calculus which you took if you were proficient in math, but no statistics course). When standardize testing became big the district focused heavily on testing to maintain their rank. At cost was non-core academics and non-sports extracurricular. God forbid you were interested in a vocational/trades path. A few years before I started high school they offered wood shop, metal shop, etc., but the shop teacher retired and none of that was offered when I was there even though I would've been interested in it. But sure, I had a good-for-high school education in literature, math, and science. Which is why I'm suspicious of things like the "College Readiness Index", although I don't really know how to interpret that. Blinkz0rz posted:Are there really huge differences between an older building and a brand new one that makes the system a better place for your child to get their education? I'm more happy that the residents of our district have supported levies though. Blinkz0rz posted:Iirc I saw a study a while back that said the single greatest factor in student success is parental involvement. cailleask posted:An example: I wanted to make sure my kids would be in an LGBTQ-friendly district. They’re not trans but some of their friends are, and they absorb a lot about how to treat each other by how other kids are treated. I do not believe the school/district we left would have been as supportive as our current one. Shortly after they voted to end the school resource officer program. This resulted in an unusually significant election the following fall where there was a funded campaign against the board president who pushed for these initiatives, and a city cop actually ran to replace her. Fortunately the smear campaign failed and the board members remained. The following year is when they passed their recent set of levies. Which is all to say that I do believe our community supports our school district, and the district supports its (including underrepresented) students. I'm pretty happy with how all that played out. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Apr 20, 2023 |
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Apr 20, 2023 03:51
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Koivunen posted:It seems like you have a pretty sweet set up already, in a school district that’s good, that isn’t full of privileged rich kids and their parents, with an affordable house, which even if it isn’t “forever” could be perfectly suitable for now… I guess at the heart of it, if I had said four years ago when our oldest was born that, five years from then I imagined being in the same house with the same job doing the same things everyday I could've been accused of being unambitious and not having plans for the future. But here we are in the same house with the same job doing the same things everyday, and maybe having some difficulty accepting "that's OK".
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Apr 20, 2023 04:08
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I’m not there yet, my eldest daughter just turned 2 and our youngest is all of 3 weeks old, but we bought a house in 2020 specifically because we wanted it to be our forever home. Schools were important to us, but it isn’t the only thing. I like to think of it as a holistic approach, where many things about how we live day to day are important for my wife and I and our children and their K-8 (highschool is a little weird here in Philadelphia) is a part of that but it shouldn’t be our be all everything. I’m in education myself, though I work on the college side of things, and there are so many factors that play into how your child does. You can only control so much of it, but if you put the effort in I believe they will be fine as long as they are not in an absolutely terrible school. I say this as someone who bought a house in the school district of Philadelphia, which has many problems, though the catchment we choose is one of the better K-8 schools in the city I can pretty much guarantee it isn’t as high as some of the schools in the Philly suburbs. Maximizing that school score just wasn’t deemed worth all the other quality of life sacrifices we would have had to make to move for that one indicator.
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Apr 20, 2023 05:19
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Trying to pick a school (or even district) is such a hard decision. Like, I don’t know what kind of person my son is going to be. Maybe he won’t be very academically inclined, so I just don’t know! We would absolutely have to move to the neighboring city to get my son in the highest-rated schools, which means a higher mortgage, which means more stress and less money for other activities. Would that be worth it? I just don’t know. So I definitely empathize with the op and how difficult it is to weigh all of the factors.
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Apr 20, 2023 05:59
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Spoggerific posted:I was eating dinner with my 1y9m old daughter and wife one evening about a month ago when our daughter started choking on a too big mouthful of rice. I was up away from the table grabbing something from the kitchen when I heard my wife asking our daughter if she was okay, and I turned over to see her drop her spoon and reach her arms out to her mom. I ran back over to the table, and noticed our daughter wasn't making any noise. When I saw her face, she looked completely terrified and had tears starting to well up in her eyes. It's a look I never want to see again, and one I will never forget. Been in a similar situation with a pickle slice. I turned the whole kid (might've been 3-4 at the time) upside down in my panic and hit his back upside down but got it out. It's been one of those constant fears for me, I kind of low key worry about it all the time in the background and I threw away some hard candy they'd gotten as a gift just because I saw them as choking hazards. Kid still loves pickles tho.
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Apr 20, 2023 12:24
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Update on my daughter: We got her in to see a specialist tomorrow This doctor is affiliated with one of the best public universities in the country (go Badgers). Everything I'm reading about her after affects leads me to believe it was a seizure, but I'll trust what the expert says.
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Apr 20, 2023 16:01
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In today's edition of poo poo my two-year-old says: "I growing bigger and bigger. I growing into a bigger person. Then I drink wine and coffee."
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Apr 21, 2023 01:31
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Lead out in cuffs posted:In today's edition of poo poo my two-year-old says: For some reason I read this in a French accent
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Apr 21, 2023 02:44
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Baby’s first illness was last week - but of cold that we got knocked over with meds. And then she popped a fever Sunday, and we figure out Friday finally that it’s also baby’s first ear infection. Sing along if you know the words: we just started daycare three weeks ago and she’s now missed a full week 
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Apr 21, 2023 09:28
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harperdc posted:Baby’s first illness was last week - but of cold that we got knocked over with meds. And then she popped a fever Sunday, and we figure out Friday finally that it’s also baby’s first ear infection. The only consolation is that her immune system is getting a workout... Which is barely a consoling thought. My son is in 2 daycares (2 days a week at each), so I'm sure he's the "gain of function" mixing dish for the area.
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Apr 21, 2023 12:02
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Good luck. I think it’s starts slowing down after 2 years of infections.
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Apr 21, 2023 12:55
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slave to my cravings posted:Good luck. I think it’s starts slowing down after 2 years of infections. Illnesses started slowing down for our twins well before 2 years. The first 2-3 months it was almost literally every other week they were home sick from daycare. Now after almost a year it's like 3-4 days a month they are home sick which is much more manageable.
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Apr 21, 2023 13:43
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Is having a newborn with a daycare/school attending sibling as terrible as I'm thinking it will be as far as sickness goes? 
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Apr 21, 2023 14:33
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Tom Smykowski posted:Is having a newborn with a daycare/school attending sibling as terrible as I'm thinking it will be as far as sickness goes? My three-year-old goes to daycare and our five-month-old has only been sick once. We brought him to the pedi because he was coughing a lot but he didn't need any meds and got over it in about a week. We were really worried when he was first born because the three-year-old had bronchitis but somehow amazingly the newborn never got it, despite 3y/o coughing in his face in spite of our best efforts. Dunno if it's really true but I reassured myself a lot that I was giving him protective antibodies in his breastmilk.
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Apr 21, 2023 14:56
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We'll be in that boat in a few months, and I'm hoping that it being summer will help. Of course baby is starting daycare herself in November so that'll be... fun.
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Apr 21, 2023 14:59
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If my toddler gets as bad diarrhea as my wife and I currently have I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need to sell my house.
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Apr 21, 2023 15:02
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Tom Smykowski posted:Is having a newborn with a daycare/school attending sibling as terrible as I'm thinking it will be as far as sickness goes? Yes. My newborn had a cold within his first week of life (nothing terrible, no fever) thanks to his preschool-attending 3 year old sister.
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Apr 21, 2023 16:46
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Thanks for the responses. Helps paint the rollercoastery pictureEmily Spinach posted:We'll be in that boat in a few months, and I'm hoping that it being summer will help. Of course baby is starting daycare herself in November so that'll be... fun. 
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Apr 21, 2023 21:04
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Man, tell a kid once that the sun will eventually swallow the earth and now every event is relative to that one
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Apr 21, 2023 23:38
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Brawnfire posted:Man, tell a kid once that the sun will eventually swallow the earth and now every event is relative to that one Daily reminder to myself to be careful about cool stuff like this now that my toddler is able to understand more than 50% of it
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Apr 21, 2023 23:51
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Anyone have thoughts on gifted programs for young kids? My son will start kindergarten in the fall. The plan was to send him to the local public school which is a short walk away. But he is smart and old for his grade, so we had him do the gifted testing and he was accepted. The new school would be a short drive away and wouldn't be with any of the other kids in the neighborhood. I have a lot of conflicted feelings about this partly because I was in gifted from grades 2-8. I also would much rather walk him to school--which seems like a slightly selfish reason.
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Apr 22, 2023 02:09
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My son is in fourth grade now, and he knows all the kids in the neighborhood and they run around between each other's houses and generally have a good time and it would be hard for me to give the chance to form those relationships in school up. What happens if you try kinder at the neighborhood school and then if it's not working for him you can try first grade at the other one?
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Apr 22, 2023 02:22
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sheri posted:What happens if you try kinder at the neighborhood school and then if it's not working for him you can try first grade at the other one? Don't really know. I think doable to switch, but that it depends on open spots? My lean has been the local school for the neighborhood reason, but he can do addition/subtraction and will be reading very soon without any push from us. No real right or wrong decision, which makes it impossible not to over think.
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Apr 22, 2023 03:04
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Tom Smykowski posted:Is having a newborn with a daycare/school attending sibling as terrible as I'm thinking it will be as far as sickness goes? it has been okay for us, in fact a few weeks ago everyone except the baby came down simultaneously with a very nasty stomach bug. but my wife is exclusively breastfeeding her so our baby gets immune support that way. i understand not every family is able or willing to do that though so ymmv.
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Apr 22, 2023 03:13
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External Organs posted:If my toddler gets as bad diarrhea as my wife and I currently have I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need to sell my house. when my son and i had the sotmach bug i just mentioned in my last post he and i had the amazing father-son bonding experience of simultaneously puking into the puke bucket. goondolences.
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Apr 22, 2023 03:14
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MayakovskyMarmite posted:Don't really know. I think doable to switch, but that it depends on open spots? I'm probably in the minority here, but unless the walking-distance school is bad, like actually bad, then I'd go there. At this age, I don't think it matters much so long as the teachers are decent and the school isn't falling apart. Doubly so if you're going to be working with him on the more advanced stuff.
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Apr 22, 2023 12:04
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Walking commute is so so good for your health, your sanity and your soul. 10/10 recommend. Less selfishly, it also gives you perfect opportunity to teach land navigation in a way that driving commute or school bus does not.
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Apr 22, 2023 13:21
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Trying the naked weekend approach. We got some pee in the potty yesterday but I think I cheated by just letting him sit on it and watch TV, so I don’t think he even realized he peed. He did get loving stoked to go dump the potty in the big toilet and flush it, that was super fun. We’ve been watching all the potty episodes and reading potty books and he got to watch me take a horrible dump and it’s shaping up to be a great weekend. We got a Mickey Mouse doll sitting on the potty. Also dealing with sleep regression of some kind so I was with him from 6AM until 10:30PM yesterday when I tagged out and made my wife deal with him so I could go to sleep. Although he was trying to take an insanely long afternoon nap that I eventually woke him up from. Maybe he’s inventing triphasic sleep.
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Apr 22, 2023 13:28
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Love when my kid decides she's just done responding to me. Wish I had that luxury in reverse!
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Apr 22, 2023 16:14
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Brawnfire posted:Love when my kid decides she's just done responding to me. Wish I had that luxury in reverse! My son's been experimenting with "I don't have to talk right now" when asked about his day in the car ride home from daycare.
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Apr 22, 2023 22:14
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Tamarillo posted:My son's been experimenting with "I don't have to talk right now" when asked about his day in the car ride home from daycare. lol this rules
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Apr 22, 2023 22:16
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What does the gifted program actually do? Mine was just extra homework. 30 years later I am posting here.
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Apr 23, 2023 01:52
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Tamarillo posted:My son's been experimenting with "I don't have to talk right now" when asked about his day in the car ride home from daycare. "Hey, bud! What'd you do today?" "Lawyer." "...what?" "My lawyer, now, or I don't make a peep."
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Apr 23, 2023 02:01
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Alterian posted:What does the gifted program actually do? Mine was just extra homework. 30 years later I am posting here. If you weren’t in the gifted program just imagine where you’d be posting
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Apr 23, 2023 03:12
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Tamarillo posted:My son's been experimenting with "I don't have to talk right now" when asked about his day in the car ride home from daycare. BFs son is experimenting with “I don’t HAVE to” and “that’s not the RULES” today. But we took him to a little dinosaur/steampunk themed fair to meet my friend’s toddler who was also a pandemic baby. It was very sweet to watch them interact. He also kept wanting to hold hands with both my partner and me as we were crossing the street :3 so sweet The mini tantrums we could have done without though.
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Apr 23, 2023 03:47
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My kid has been teething for what feels like 6 months straight at this point and it's making me crazy. There were like 3-4 days last week where she decidely wasn't teething and she had a much better night then ever but every single night otherwise it's like I'm up constantly cause she's awake because teeth. What the gently caress
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Apr 23, 2023 04:01
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Why do they call it the terrible twos when a 3 year old’s tantrums are so much worse
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Apr 23, 2023 04:02
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