(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Tulip posted:(difficulty processing spoken word without an accompanying mechanical hearing difficulty was a big one) This is an ADD thing? I've always had this issue (I always turn on subtitles whenever it's an option for media, because it can be hard to follow otherwise). I probably won't ever look into it again, though, because I'm on suboxone and that basically means no one would prescribe me medication (and it's also just stressful worrying about people thinking you're some kind of drug seeker). I did bring it up once with my current psychiatrist, but they blew it off on the basis that I did well in school and manage to hold a job (even though the latter is mainly due to being extremely lucky and having a very relaxed job).
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Apr 24, 2023 22:52
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Ytlaya posted:This is an ADD thing? I've always had this issue (I always turn on subtitles whenever it's an option for media, because it can be hard to follow otherwise). yeah, it is. auditory processing, motherfucker. so the standard of care/state of research is that prescribing stimulants (or wahtever works) for adhd treatment with history of drug use/abuse (that isn't the stimulant medications prescribed) is not contraindicated. medicated adhd lowers risk of substance abuse whether or not there's prior history. unfortunately a lot of doctors who aren't adhd specialists, even if they know that's the case, will not risk prescribing (or wont have the time they'd want to monitor substance use risk patients more closely) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2676785/ from the summary quote:While stimulant medications have the potential for abuse and must be used cautiously in patients with substance use disorders, the available evidence suggests that stimulant medications administered under monitored conditions can be safe and effective in patients with substance use disorders. However, ongoing substance use can limit the efficacy of stimulant pharmacotherapy, and there is an irreducible risk of misuse, abuse, and diversion of stimulant medications when used to treat ADHD comorbid with substance use disorders. A conservative approach for treating co-occurring ADHD and SUD would be to begin treatment with a non-stimulant pharmacotherapy, but if an adequate response is not obtained, consider stimulant pharmacotherapy. The decision regarding the use of stimulant medications for a patient with ADHD and a co-occurring substance use disorder should be made on the basis of a broad clinical assessment and an individual risk-benefit analysis. For many patients, psychostimulants can be used safely and effectively; however, careful monitoring during treatment is essential to ensure prescribed stimulants are being used in a therapeutic manner, and in the case of worsening substance use or when faced with evidence of the diversion of prescribed medication, treatment should be discontinued. so even with co-occuring active substance use disorder it's not necessarily contraindicated. maintenance suboxone shouldn't give any pause for treatment, but it probably will. i think that may be getting more well known though. if you ever do want to try treatment again and a doctor gets weird you can bludgeon them with that study (and others - it's pretty loving done as a question at this point). also the evidence for stimulant medication reducing rates of subtance abuse/relapse/overall morbidity and mortality is enough that if you have adhd and even if your life isnt actively falling apart medication is probably beneficial. nonstimulant too, if any work for you. but yeah it's still a crapshoot as to whether any particular doctor is going off of what they learned 10-20 years ago or if they keep up
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Apr 24, 2023 23:48
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is it weird to experience relaxation as akin to sadness? Like right now after a pretty good therapy session I'm curled up on a couch reading and listening to some good music; it feels good but there's some sort of weird deep feeling that's kinda sad going on, like the feeling you get after youve had a beer or two and start getting all philosophical. I think being scared of that might be a reason I feel like I'm constantly pushing myself all the time, though I'm doing a pretty good job at identifying it and moving past it. Cuttlefush posted:yeah, it is. auditory processing, motherfucker. Oh huh that kinda explains a lot
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Apr 25, 2023 02:36
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Melancholy after a therapy session might be a really simple response to not having held your poo poo together for a bit. If holding your poo poo together is a pillar of how you interact with the world and you just came out of a space where it's unnecessary to do so it'd probably feel at least different for a bit afterwards. We can end up craving the heightened experience of anxiety or stress because of how comfortably loud and self directing it is; not dealing with that even if it's for brief periods can seem blurry and unfocused unless you have something else to focus on (partner, strong goals, immediate plans).
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Apr 25, 2023 05:10
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rural telehealth therapist misses another appointment with no warning, this time some kind of ISP thing. the week before last, it was plumbing problems and workmen in the house. the week before that, it was another patient having a crisis. at this point i consider our session time only tentatively spoken-for. still better than the last 3 therapists though because not mystified by basic aspects of my personality i've only had one therapist i would consider "good" and that was for a total of 3 years out of the last 20. this one was "okay" because even though they missed sessions roughly half the time, they were willing to text during evening and weekends. it got me through some minor crises but it's not especially useful now that i'm facing some more rarefied quality of life problems i'm going to move in a couple of months and i should probably start searching for a new one now. really not into the idea of rolling those dice again but i don't see an alternative. which i guess is the motto of my middle aged self
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Apr 25, 2023 18:32
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Tungsten posted:i've only had one therapist i would consider "good" and that was for a total of 3 years out of the last 20. this one was "okay" because even though they missed sessions roughly half the time, they were willing to text during evening and weekends. it got me through some minor crises but it's not especially useful now that i'm facing some more rarefied quality of life problems that number sounds about right, maybe a little unlucky. the profession as a whole is improving by leaps and bounds in terms of approach and philosophy (i.e. non-normative stances), but is being decimated by capitalism like every other industry. it's very hard to find good therapists and funnily enough the people with the best eyes for finding them are other therapists. therapists struggle financially too, and sometimes cant afford therapy the same way clients can't. the problem there is that therapists *imo* need therapy more than the average person because a) they need a place to process all the other stuff that comes up in therapy (like countertransference) and b) they're crazy. the schooling suffers the same problem in higher education that every other higher ed profession has too, and those problems continue well into the career lifecycle and practice as well. many practitioners are moving into spaces like "life coaching" and "relationship coach/counselor" because there's more money, and zero bureaucracy since those words, at least in CA, are not protected and have no board or oversight. and i used to judge that harshly but you know what i cant blame them, because the whole thing is a total loving mess and there is NO support from anywhere and everything is an uphill battle. edit: i guess ill add that as weird as it sounds, one can "get better" at therapy. meaning you can learn the skill and get more out of the 50 minutes than you used to. but it takes a good therapist to be able to keep up with you thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 19:28 on Apr 25, 2023 |
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Apr 25, 2023 19:12
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thehandtruck posted:therapists struggle financially too, and sometimes cant afford therapy the same way clients can't. the problem there is that therapists *imo* need therapy more than the average person because a) they need a place to process all the other stuff that comes up in therapy (like countertransference) and b) they're crazy. the schooling suffers the same problem in higher education that every other higher ed profession has too, and those problems continue well into the career lifecycle and practice as well this makes a lot of sense as a framing. the one good therapist i had was doing dbt very much by the book and was part of a circle of other independent therapists who discussed issues like countertransference etc. i think the program was successful because it had to break out of the individualist framing of mental health in order to have any chance of working on the stuff dbt is designed to work on. but it clearly pushed against so many of the constraints imposed by capitalism that it seems like it could only work as a localized counterculture held up by people who can afford to devote extra time and effort to it
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Apr 25, 2023 23:36
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agreed
thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 00:42 on Apr 26, 2023 |
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Apr 26, 2023 00:27
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Felt a bit of an anxiety spiral going on so on a whim went for a walk at a local nature preserve (God it's so nice that the weather permits that now) It was nice and definitely helped but it was kinda funny that when I was getting ready to go home my brain was like "oh cool time to get nervous again, right?"
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Apr 29, 2023 20:32
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I hate how often I hear from people that they were told they couldn't have ADHD because they did well in school (I wasn't told that, I just wasn't offered the help I needed when it would be useful, because I did well in school). What did "doing well" involve? Everything done the night before with no sleep? Doing well in classes you're interested in because you can maintain focus? Ignoring the classes you do badly in because you're doing well in others? Massive amounts of stress and lack of sleep to the point that you're regularly falling asleep in class? Maybe it was highschool and you could cope and then you get to university or grad school and the strategy of last minute panic doesn't work any more. Or maybe after years and years of only getting work done while massively stressed and sleep deprived, you burn out and can't do anything any more. Or you have new responsibilities and everything collapses. So anyway that's my experience with that. I hope doctors and counselors are getting better at understanding that.
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Apr 30, 2023 10:49
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Adenoid Dan posted:I hate how often I hear from people that they were told they couldn't have ADHD because they did well in school (I wasn't told that, I just wasn't offered the help I needed when it would be useful, because I did well in school). I got this exact same line from an ADHD "specialist" from a private clinic who said he didn't want me to waste over 10k NOK on a "useless" assessment. Maybe I should have insisted.
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Apr 30, 2023 10:56
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Adenoid Dan posted:I hate how often I hear from people that they were told they couldn't have ADHD because they did well in school (I wasn't told that, I just wasn't offered the help I needed when it would be useful, because I did well in school). "Doing well" for me in college meant that I usually pulled 4 back-to-back all nighters during finals week that bumped my grades in all my classes by two letters.
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Apr 30, 2023 11:52
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The most telling assessment I tried was one that focused not on ADHD symptoms, but on coping mechanisms. I realized that so many of the weird and dumb things I do are ways to work around ADHD. It's defined my life in so many ways. I, of course, went to a professional for their assessment. Turns out there's a high correlation between bipolar and ADHD, and they can mask each other.
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Apr 30, 2023 13:46
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Hello thread
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May 1, 2023 02:29
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No. 6 posted:Hello thread Hello! Hope you're doing well today I've noticed my mood has been getting a little more variable from the recent baseline of "pretty good, actually" though now that I'm temporarily calm I'm trying to internalize that the feeling of stress and anxiety is transient for the next time it comes back around. I also feel sometimes like I'm about to get really emotional but never actually do, not sure what's up with that. Mostly just trying to collect thoughts in prep for another therapy session tommorrow
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May 1, 2023 03:15
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It was nice today so I drove out to the middle of nowhere and had myself a nice scream. Throat hurts but it was worth it.
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May 1, 2023 05:43
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Jorge Bell posted:Melancholy after a therapy session might be a really simple response to not having held your poo poo together for a bit. If holding your poo poo together is a pillar of how you interact with the world and you just came out of a space where it's unnecessary to do so it'd probably feel at least different for a bit afterwards. We can end up craving the heightened experience of anxiety or stress because of how comfortably loud and self directing it is; not dealing with that even if it's for brief periods can seem blurry and unfocused unless you have something else to focus on (partner, strong goals, immediate plans). Thanks for this post btw and it's definitely happening again- not unmanageable but I probably want to figure out some coping skills for it at some point
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May 2, 2023 02:23
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You're always welcome Stash, I hope you can get your head around it - might not be a bad thing to feel, even! I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before in the thread but during a really rough period in my life I was denying my feelings of anger towards an ex and directed all my hostility and negativity back into myself. At some point my most annoying friend suggested that I get angry at her and it turned out to be a really necessary expression of the way I was feeling. I really WAS mad at her but had been kicking myself down instead. Felt incredible, like cracking a joint that really needed it, and not denying that feeling gave me the mental capacity to process the way I was feeling about everything else that was happening at the time.Zeroisanumber posted:It was nice today so I drove out to the middle of nowhere and had myself a nice scream. Good poo poo! Jorge Bell has issued a correction as of 03:03 on May 2, 2023 |
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May 2, 2023 02:56
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StashAugustine posted:Thanks for this post btw and it's definitely happening again- not unmanageable but I probably want to figure out some coping skills for it at some point strenuous exercise or a change of scenery can help in my experience. but ime recompressing your poo poo can sometimes take an hour or two. maybe it's something to schedule around if you can
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May 2, 2023 03:05
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Yeah I talked to another friend and he compared it to the pain of exercise- something else I kinda hate even though I know it's good for me! I definitely do have issues with trying to repress emotions and I'll probably bring that back up next time.
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May 2, 2023 03:09
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One thing that has helped me stay grounded and provided a way to track and communicate my emotional state is assigning days a simple grade. I use a scale of 1 to 10 with the higher the better. The past few years things felt dire with days of 1s sprinkled throughout weeks wavering from 2 up to 5. The best days were where existing merely felt tolerable, but not even enjoyable. The last year has been a big improvement for my emotional and mental states. Most days seem to be hovering between a 4 and a 7 now. I wake up and it's okay. I look forward to small things (watching the birds at my feeder or working in the garden). Most importantly I no longer have my brain screaming at me to kill myself. It was emotionally difficult to realign my thoughts and even consider a future. It still is. I have heaps of trauma and damage to work through. I imagine this may be with me forever. I'm trying to not let it beat me down. Good luck to everyone and thank you for providing a space where I could scream into the void.
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May 2, 2023 14:17
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Glad things are going better for you 6, I also have trouble looking forward!
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May 2, 2023 14:51
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i can't make anything in this hoarder trash filled shithole so i've started to just set up a tent/outdoor thing to work on various projects, just in time for texas summer. there's this big tent/canvas shed thing i saw at Tractor Supply that'll probably help. Now I just have to dodge dad working on his immaculate boomer lawn every day of the week while the house fills with more garbage. The boomer on lawn tractor meme is real.
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May 3, 2023 20:07
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I dislike how inherently maybe narcissistic this is to ask, and if there is no taker because it is a task of emotional labor to read my posts, then thats actually fine, because I feel happier and more stable than at any memorable time in my life. High water mark feeling that is not even far from a recent tragedy that I am still dealing with, but I feel like the water rushed back in after a big impact. I have been posting pretty non stop and with very minimal self editing, and unless I am clearly lying, I am posting truthfully to my inner monologue, fishing for the things that seem best in the stream, but honest fishing. I intend to stop posting so much about myself anyway. This isn't from an egotistical desire to be seen so much as a desire to be judged, for my posts. Moreover I am interested in whether or not my posts are judged as helpful as opposed to harmful. It feels ethically imperative for me to be better informed about the possibility that I am a fool, and short of showing a therapist my posts, which is a hilarious idea I wouldn't dare do, I shrug toward this bedlamthread.
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May 4, 2023 06:08
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I am feeling pretty good anyway, but I do like to consider why it also might be a good idea for me to go back to therapy. I am successfully sober as a turk since my first post in this thread, and a lot of other nice things, but I am like Pinocchio in regard to my gently caress working period ever positions
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May 4, 2023 06:17
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Stinky Wizzleteats posted:I dislike how inherently maybe narcissistic this is to ask, and if there is no taker because it is a task of emotional labor to read my posts, then thats actually fine, because I feel happier and more stable than at any memorable time in my life. High water mark feeling that is not even far from a recent tragedy that I am still dealing with, but I feel like the water rushed back in after a big impact. Bolding mine, because the two things together point to something that does bother me. Which is that you are I think giving far, far too much credit to some just not actually good ideas about how communications work. Specifically that you think that it is fully your responsibility to manage the emotions of any possible person who might ever read any of your posts. This is a very like, twitter fake therapist theory of how people should communicate. While it is certainly possible to say things that hurt people, and worth being conscious of the words we put into the world, there's a difference between checking both ways before you cross the street and pulling a gun on people who ask you for directions. What I'm saying is that this reads as posting hypervigilance, which does real harm to yourself and frankly to the communities you're in. Which is all to say, in general no your posting is fine. You're posting honestly, which is frankly better than we can expect. If anything you're quite low key. Nothing you've posted is even close to crossing the lines of what is permitted and normal for a thread talking about mental health issues. Relax, give yourself a little more grace and kindness, and don't spend energy trying to think about how people are going to be obscenely upset because you posted about looking for a therapist in the thread where we talk about our therapists.
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May 4, 2023 06:40
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Fairest possible first blush. Thankfully it's not the first time or worst time I've experienced with the knowledge of relationship styles like hypervigilance, but, like my extreme aversion to doing so called work that is considered valid or productive capitalist humanstock value wise, I have over rationalized and even begun to turn mystical, my antipathy toward all hitherto known forms of labor
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May 4, 2023 08:28
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Thinking about posting this much defines you as crazy, I have 5150'd you, a padded paddy wagon is on its way edit for clarity: you're fine, glad you got sober
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May 4, 2023 17:14
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I'm really loving sick of my job. Folks are nice and everything, the people aren't the problem, I'm just tired of the work. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at solving computer issues and navigating the bureaucracy of all the different teams and generally just even getting out of my drat chair because I just feel so overwhelmed and feel like I can't complete anything. I turned a problem that was basically already solved into a bigger problem that I now have to take more time cleaning up. I've been doing healthcare desktop support for 10 years now. I've never moved up, I've never had any opportunity for anything different. At my last job I asked and they basically told me to gently caress off, and I said I'll show you got a certification, couldn't get a job, and loving stayed until they went bankrupt in 2020, so no, I didn't show them, because I'm an ADD fuckup who can't learn anything fast enough long enough to get a good certification. I have 3 editions of CCNA book and end up flaming out because I can't get past Chapter 5: Subnetting because I can't learn it well enough to consistently do it, and if I can't there's no point in continuing. I have access to study materials and everything, but it doesn't matter because I get overwhelmed, fall off, and can't get back to doing it because I didn't retain any of the stuff I did and have to start all the way over. I took an Azure exam last year, failed it, and "rested" for a month, then 2, then 6, and now I'm basically starting over because all that work was loving meaningless. It makes me loving hate myself because I've wasted all this time and I'm just getting older and stupider and even with the meds I still can't actually learn anything actually useful. I can learn random trivia and bullshit all day long, but I can't retain what I read in a chapter before I've even finished the chapter. Now I have built-in self-hatred to fight against too because now I'm 10 years in and I feel like I should already know this and have already have this cert and already have moved up and I've clearly already failed and there is no way out. I need my brain to do this thing but I have mountains of evidence at this point to say, it cannot. Everytime I sit down to study my brain just tells me "You can't do this and you know drat well you can't" and "Even if you get this cert it's not going to matter because nobody is going to give you a job and you don't have experience, just like last time". I need to earn more money. I need to stop having to commute. There is a pathway there, but I've spent 10 years getting lost on it and it feels like I can't ever get there and that "there" is a total lie and there will be a new reason for why I have to stay in a dead end job forever.
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May 5, 2023 03:06
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skooma512 posted:I'm really loving sick of my job. Folks are nice and everything, the people aren't the problem, I'm just tired of the work. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at solving computer issues and navigating the bureaucracy of all the different teams and generally just even getting out of my drat chair because I just feel so overwhelmed and feel like I can't complete anything. I turned a problem that was basically already solved into a bigger problem that I now have to take more time cleaning up. the reason why employers want certificates is not the reason that they say they want them. they want to you to learn weird bullshit is not because that's important, but because they want to people who are willing and able to contort themselves into weird shapes for money. this means no single mothers, no one sick, no one caring for family, no one struggling it's probably true that you can't make yourself learn something at the moment that you aren't using. this doesn't make you stupid or bad, this makes you extremely normal. it's not you, it's a system that doesn't value incremental learning by doing, that has almost no role promotions except into management. this isn't to make your job or condition sunshine and rainbows, but to tell you it's not your fault didn't end up in the right shape for it. most people aren't, it's not made for people, if people work within in it's just luck or hoarded treasure
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May 5, 2023 03:35
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The idea of wasting time is a lie. Full sympathy for wanting to make more money but don't start huffing their poo poo.
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May 5, 2023 06:52
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skooma512 posted:I'm really loving sick of my job. Folks are nice and everything, the people aren't the problem, I'm just tired of the work. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at solving computer issues and navigating the bureaucracy of all the different teams and generally just even getting out of my drat chair because I just feel so overwhelmed and feel like I can't complete anything. I turned a problem that was basically already solved into a bigger problem that I now have to take more time cleaning up. personally, as a working computer toucher in the field of software development / operations, i have rarely learned much from books about technology. my career didn't really pick up until i made a project that i could send out along with my resume (the code was poo poo but the ui looked ok because i used bootstrap), and then i was able to watch people actually working and pick up a sense of what was actually important through things like tone, body language and general social reinforcement. granted, this was over 10 years ago, when dumb money was everywhere. but if you find learning from books frustrating you might try things like videos, meetups, maybe even paying for tutoring or something like pluralsight? i also sense a lot of protestant work ethic / neoliberal indoctrination here, something i'm sensitive to because i also have it. i think it can provide motivation to work harder, but you should be careful to make sure you're benefiting from it more than your bosses and that you don't mistake it for reality. socially, it's better to look like a hard worker than to be one. human beings are not infinitely flexible, even if "the market" wants us to be. work won't save you, money won't save you, the world we knew is dying, and no one gets out of this alive. that said, i feel you. i hope you can find better compensation and working conditions. the fact that you can string together a few coherent paragraphs tells me you probably can, just switch up your approach if you're stuck edit: also, subnetting is loving ridiculous Tungsten has issued a correction as of 19:48 on May 5, 2023 |
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May 5, 2023 19:44
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Tungsten posted:personally, as a working computer toucher in the field of software development / operations, i have rarely learned much from books about technology. my career didn't really pick up until i made a project that i could send out along with my resume (the code was poo poo but the ui looked ok because i used bootstrap), and then i was able to watch people actually working and pick up a sense of what was actually important through things like tone, body language and general social reinforcement. granted, this was over 10 years ago, when dumb money was everywhere. but if you find learning from books frustrating you might try things like videos, meetups, maybe even paying for tutoring or something like pluralsight? See, I do desktop support. So it's all break/fix and it feels like I get a come-backer ticket every week or the fix I did gets reversed behind my back by active directory crap nobody will explain or let me see. It's not something I can put in a portfolio and show off. I'm going to do more coding once I get this Azure cert done, since I can portfolioize that and I'll need some for Azure work anyway. It's not so much "I need to impress my boss", because I'm keenly aware nobody here cares unless the spreadsheet tells them to, and even then they just send an email. I'm getting married and my partner needs a replacement car, and then she needs her loving student loans cleared, and then we need to secure housing somehow. I also need to be able to find a new and better job on the other side of the country so she can move for work. She makes more than me and is doing her best and isn't pressuring me, but reading between the lines I definitely need to make more money and get a higher title, and I needed to do it yesterday. If I can't come up with a job or I end up earning less than I do now, this is inevitably going to cause strife because I'm going to be frustrated at myself and hating the new area while she's trying to be positive and actually has a good reason to be. But yeah, you're right ultimately. I already know that no matter how much money either of us make the system will take it from us and demand even more next time. My parents are getting older and luckily we're not having kids, so their end of life care will suck down our money instead. I give the global and local economy writ large about 20 more years of limping before it totally goes to poo poo, and you are correct in that no amount of work or money will protect us against that. And through it all, I'm aware that like 80% of the reason my mind is going to these places at all is just so it can stay on a dopamine drip instead of doing work. Brain Candy posted:the reason why employers want certificates is not the reason that they say they want them. they want to you to learn weird bullshit is not because that's important, but because they want to people who are willing and able to contort themselves into weird shapes for money. this means no single mothers, no one sick, no one caring for family, no one struggling 
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May 5, 2023 20:23
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One of the reasons I feel I am fully out of the workforce for good is I can no longer perform work theater (I never really did), I can't pretend i'm busy when I'm not, and bosses always homed in on that. One even told me if I finish my work I need to go asking coworkers for their work to do. *the others are constant depression, anxiety, and self-harm fantasies when I am put into any kind of organized structure, unlike many people on the autism spectrum I despise routine, especially routines set by others. In more insane news, dad asked me to do boomer tech support. He didn't allow me to do the things to actually fix his computer (its an 11 year old piece of poo poo infested with mc-affee and a dozen other boomer-ware things), he wanted me to do like three key strokes and fix it. I told mom, and this escalated into an hour long argument over how I feel not respected and want to have an equal say in this household and mom told me i am not equal in this household and dad is above us and we can't question him and I should get the gently caress out if I don't like it. I started talking about my 'legal rights' (against eviction, etc), and uh she said "Don't try that legal crap on me, I know other people whose children tried poo poo like that and those kids are gone now," then said by challenging her I was threatening her, and that she would 'dispose' of me if needed. "What the hell does that mean?" She realizes she shot her mouth off too far. "Nothing, and I'm not telling you, and you need to behave or else, because we love you."
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May 5, 2023 20:48
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Ronwayne posted:One of the reasons I feel I am fully out of the workforce for good is I can no longer perform work theater (I never really did), I can't pretend i'm busy when I'm not, and bosses always homed in on that. One even told me if I finish my work I need to go asking coworkers for their work to do. When you do get the gently caress out because you don't like it, there's a good chance they'll completely reverse their tone and try to get you to stay. It happened to me. Get the gently caress out of my house became oh please stay, stay and save money don't move out and pay rent. They use kicking you out as a trump card to control you and don't really have anywhere to escalate beyond that once their bluff is called.
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May 5, 2023 20:54
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Had a similar dynamic with my parents as an adult living in their house. Now they're sad because I don't see them or talk to them enough. All I remember is the complete humiliation and disrespect I felt living with them and being dominated by their authority as a feckless child. Still fucks me up
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May 5, 2023 21:23
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I just want a single room in this fairly big rural house to be cleared of hoarder trash so i can set up a small workspace so I can do something besides go outside and watch helicopters and feds round up migrants. There's plenty of stories of goon lairs over the years but I can't recall many where third parties were forcibly keeping it a goon lair against the wishes of the goon.
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May 6, 2023 00:33
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my dad died and i had to watch him have 200+ seizures because after 40 minutes without o2 and six dfibs they got a rhythm on him, drove him to Critical, Critical to palliative where we gave him 1mg of dilaudid a .5h. // e: it was bad. just saying. this is the worst rite of passage. MLK Ultra has issued a correction as of 09:22 on May 6, 2023 |
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May 6, 2023 09:03
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/me picking out an urn next to the baby coffins in the downstairs showcase room: i guess that one. dude: a lot of people pick that one. it's what i figured you'd pick. you know, i lost my father when i was young too me: ok cool where do i uh, ... check out
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May 6, 2023 09:06
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| # ? May 26, 2024 11:28 |
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gently caress man, I'm so sorry. 
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May 6, 2023 09:08
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