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I thought the first kid was easy as a baby and was blessed by The Lord with a daughter who is even easier! At least it feels that way, but maybe it was becuase I was play at home dad for the first one
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May 9, 2023 16:03
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Cheen posted:I thought the first kid was easy as a baby and was blessed by The Lord with a daughter who is even easier! At least it feels that way, but maybe it was becuase I was play at home dad for the first one That was the real secret sauce. First baby we were in pandemic lockdown so he had both of us in his face 24/7. After we moved from bunker I was the stay at home parent and I kinda did p good at being home-maker. Second baby... Well we have to work. I got new forever job for insurance. Mom has not acclimated to Stay-at-home mom as well as I hoped, she was very much born and trained to be type-A breadwinner.
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May 9, 2023 16:48
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I have a hard time even engaging with the concept of a second one as an abstract because I can't get past like... being about to afford to live while paying for daycare x2.
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May 9, 2023 17:53
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Get a Swaddle Up Stage 1. All other swaddle solutions are inferior and infuriating.
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May 9, 2023 20:17
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no the answer is moby wrap sorry
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May 10, 2023 02:22
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Ok we came home and have done one afternoon of dual-child parenting. So far it's a lot like being a single dad whose roommate is a single mom, because the baby is clusterfeeding and my wife is experiencing nursing contractions that are apparently as bad as labor so she doesn't want the toddler around for them. Watched a lot of Sesame Street today while mom and baby napped. I think this is what parenting is gonna look like for the next couple weeks. The older kid is friendly toward the baby, but, like, too much so, she's really into him and always wants to be around him and tries to tell us what to do with him and screams during his nap if we don't do it. We were so worried about her being resentful of him that we might have overcorrected. Gotta try to figure out how to encourage a close relationship with healthy boundaries. That sounds hard! Now it's 9:30, the toddler is in bed, the wife has sufficiently recovered that I'm able to let her just clusterfeed in peace for a while, all the loving household chores that haven't gone away are done, and the Celtics are losing so all I've really had the impetus to do is type this post and listen to approximately 1.5 songs in total. I thought I'd at least pour a bourbon and play Dark Cloud 2 but I dunno if I'm getting there tonight
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May 10, 2023 02:40
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loquacius posted:I thought I'd at least pour a bourbon and play Dark Cloud 2 but I dunno if I'm getting there tonight good luck gamer dad
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May 10, 2023 02:43
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loquacius posted:Ok we came home and have done one afternoon of dual-child parenting. So far it's a lot like being a single dad whose roommate is a single mom, because the baby is clusterfeeding and my wife is experiencing nursing contractions that are apparently as bad as labor so she doesn't want the toddler around for them. Watched a lot of Sesame Street today while mom and baby napped. I think this is what parenting is gonna look like for the next couple weeks. 
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May 10, 2023 02:44
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yeah every time I want to butt in with friendly advice I have to remind myself that i'm not an expert on kids, i'm an expert on my kid and that's about it. so many things I think are great or bad are entirely shaped within the scope of raising our kid and the particular circumstances we're raising her. there's a whole load of poo poo americans have to deal with that i can't even imagine, for example. the worst we got was comments from the previous generation about how they did x,y,z and we turned out fine. it is what it is.
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May 10, 2023 02:48
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Our 2-year-old (almost 3 now) had gotten herself all hyped up to play with her baby brother and seems disappointed that he mostly seems interested in eating and sleeping and I wanna be like "honey he is literally one (1) day old, he doesn't know what a toy is yet and could neither focus his eyes on them nor navigate his hand to them even if he did" but she's 2 so there's not much point in explaining I'm still unemployed (ofc) and will probably keep being her single dad until my wife is at least able to stand up for long periods of time, and I love her and she's brilliant but I kind of wish she were capable of playing on playgrounds like a normal kid instead of walking around eating raisins refusing to climb on things and gawking at other kids and running away if they approach her like she did three days ago, because that would make single-parenting her in the spring much easier. She likes playgrounds and when we leave she is apparently under the impression that she has just finished playing on them, so I can, like, still get her to go there, she's just so awkward she makes it awkward for me by association. I'm jealous of playground parents who get to sit on a bench with one earbud in and watch their kid run around having fun. Instead I have to follow her around pleading with her to play with things. We have a zoo membership and I'm probably gonna use it pretty heavily because the zoo is intended for gawking at stuff so she's perfectly suited for it. I'm exhausted. I'm not quite as existentially terrified as I was last time around because I, like, at least know how to rock a baby to sleep now, not that that matters when your kid is a clusterfeeding one-day-old, but I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Thanks parenting thread for being my therapist Oh, and also I'm astounded how much new baby hates having his diaper changed. Howls like a banshee every time. Buddy, you weren't the one who had to wipe up all that meconium, don't even play that with me
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May 10, 2023 02:57
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F Stop Fitzgerald posted:good luck gamer dad I actually got to play a lot of Steam Deck DC2 in the hospital because being a dad in labor/delivery/maternity involves a whole lot of waiting for stuff while not sleeping Not really the case now that we're home
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May 10, 2023 02:57
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yeah my kid hated being changed early on, I think she just objected to being cold. as for the toddler, we're not at the age with our kid yet but it took some time for her to sit back and observe other kids playing with stuff at the toddler mini-gym we go to to get the idea of what she could do and what she might want to play with. sounds like you've been at it for a while, though. understandably frustrating. might be a bit of the pandemic baby thing going on, which from what i heard just takes time to shake off.
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May 10, 2023 03:01
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loquacius posted:Our 2-year-old (almost 3 now) had gotten herself all hyped up to play with her baby brother and seems disappointed that he mostly seems interested in eating and sleeping and I wanna be like "honey he is literally one (1) day old, he doesn't know what a toy is yet and could neither focus his eyes on them nor navigate his hand to them even if he did" but she's 2 so there's not much point in explaining My three year old niece is just like this with my eight day old niece. She grasps the concept as it is explained to her and is always very gentle with babb, and then forgets as soon as she is distracted. Over and over. Why is Baby so lazy? Not time for night night time to playyyy
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May 10, 2023 03:05
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I don't wanna get nostalgic for the most sleepless time of parenting but ohhhhhhh I loved swaddling, and I was so good at it. I bet I would swaddle anyone itt and they couldn't break free. My wife got to help with the babies at work (at a daycare) and got all mushy about it and I got a little nostalgic too, not THAT nostalgic tho
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May 10, 2023 03:08
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going to the zoo with a toddler is extremely ftw, i love seeing my son react to the monkeys and elephants
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May 10, 2023 03:54
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i just love my children in general, it really is a depth and intensity of feeling that i did not know was even possible. crazy to think about. obviously there are many bad aspects of being a parent but sometimes i just look at my son or daughter and its like wow drat how can i love something this much, how did this capacity come to be in my heart. its great.
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May 10, 2023 03:56
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Speak of the devil, I was talking to my mom today and she was gushing about my nephew then asked how my daughter was doing. I talked about how we're helping her navigate first grade and how grateful I am that her school has so much resources to support her in subjects she's struggling with-she gets extra help in math and 1 on 1 work with a reading specialist. The teacher doesn't assign homework but I always try to spend time practicing math and reading each day. Anyway then my mom goes on her whole lecture about "I told you that she needed two years of preschool but you didn't listen!". See my in laws watched my kids when covid hit so we didn't need daycare/preschool. She did do a T-K program we paid for the next year, then moved onto kindergarten and now first grade. The vibe she's giving me is somewhere between,"it's too bad you were to cheap and lazy to send her to a Pre K school, now she's gonna be stunted academically",and "It's too bad covid pandemic prevented her from getting that head start, must be why she's struggling now.". She also bragged that she had my brother and I do 2 years of preschool and I didn't get a chance to point out how we both repeated 3rd grade in spite of that, I was a C student in college and my brother barely graduated HS.
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May 10, 2023 03:58
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loquacius posted:I actually got to play a lot of Steam Deck DC2 in the hospital because being a dad in labor/delivery/maternity involves a whole lot of waiting for stuff while not sleeping Dude, you're like a mile ahead of me. Like literally just a couple days ago my wife went to visit her mom and it aligned with our girl sleeping that I could connect my SNES mini and play a couple of games while being next to her crib and that's with the save state function built in. My last save state was like over three months ago. LOL. lobster shirt posted:going to the zoo with a toddler is extremely ftw, i love seeing my son react to the monkeys and elephants I do kinda look forward for my baby girl to know more about animals. Best experience for her so far in this regard is a curtain with a butterfly pattern she likes to look at sometimes.
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May 10, 2023 10:44
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My son hit me with his first ever "I love you" last night. It was me, I got it, made me feel so good.
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May 10, 2023 13:41
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Panfilo posted:Speak of the devil, I was talking to my mom today and she was gushing about my nephew then asked how my daughter was doing. I talked about how we're helping her navigate first grade and how grateful I am that her school has so much resources to support her in subjects she's struggling with-she gets extra help in math and 1 on 1 work with a reading specialist. The teacher doesn't assign homework but I always try to spend time practicing math and reading each day. My mom put me through a year or so of daycare before I started school instead of dumping me off at my great-grandma's like usual because I guess everybody thought I'd turn out weird if I wasn't around other kids at all. Joke's on them though, I turned out to be a goon anyway
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May 10, 2023 13:52
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KirbyKhan posted:My son hit me with his first ever "I love you" last night. It was me, I got it, made me feel so good. my younger son is very miserly with his "I love yous". I always tell him I love him and his response is almost always a blank stare or "okay". a few weeks ago he said it back to me at bedtime and it was the most surprising thing. felt so good.
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May 10, 2023 14:26
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on saturday my son, unprompted, said "i love you" to his baby sister and i almost started crying lol
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May 10, 2023 14:34
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It's so good!
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May 10, 2023 14:48
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Siblings getting on well together is fantastic. A semi-recent development is my kids will team up to berate me if I happen to upset either of them. For example asking one of them to please get ready for bed for the fifth time will get their sibling shouting "HOW DARE YOU" at me. It is good to see solidarity.Panfilo posted:Speak of the devil, I was talking to my mom today and she was gushing about my nephew then asked how my daughter was doing. I talked about how we're helping her navigate first grade and how grateful I am that her school has so much resources to support her in subjects she's struggling with-she gets extra help in math and 1 on 1 work with a reading specialist. The teacher doesn't assign homework but I always try to spend time practicing math and reading each day.
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May 10, 2023 15:19
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Nocturtle posted:Siblings getting on well together is fantastic. A semi-recent development is my kids will team up to berate me if I happen to upset either of them. For example asking one of them to please get ready for bed for the fifth time will get their sibling shouting "HOW DARE YOU" at me. It is good to see solidarity. lol nice
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May 10, 2023 15:20
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My son berated me for exclaiming "Holy poo poo, look at that big rear end crow" 
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May 10, 2023 17:33
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It was THIS big!
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May 10, 2023 17:35
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Struensee posted:My son berated me for exclaiming "Holy poo poo, look at that big rear end crow" Me, posting from the nursing home in 50 years
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May 10, 2023 17:39
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new baby+toddler tip: set aside time that does not include baby Good examples: One parent+toddler trips to do stuff Dinner at table, baby elsewhere Night time routine
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May 10, 2023 19:06
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Update: Day 2 went better than Day 1. Still did a lot of screentime with the 2-year-old (Book of Pooh and Yoshi's Woolly World on the ol' Steam Deck) but not as much as we'd assumed. Wife was less incapacitated and less attached to baby at the boob, which helped. Baby napped in my arms for a little, which was nice after feeling like he hated me because my main job was to change his diaper, which he loving hates and screams like he's under torture. We all hung out as a family both indoors and outdoors, which was sorely needed. Toddler still has trouble not getting 24/7 access to baby whenever she wants, but that'll take time. Still have a long night ahead of me, but overall I feel less like I'm poo poo and life is poo poo, and I am having some bourbon and going to play some goddamn Dark Cloud 2 at some point tonight.
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May 11, 2023 01:44
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lobster shirt posted:i just love my children in general, it really is a depth and intensity of feeling that i did not know was even possible. crazy to think about. obviously there are many bad aspects of being a parent but sometimes i just look at my son or daughter and its like wow drat how can i love something this much, how did this capacity come to be in my heart. its great.  . it always feels so trite to talk about love between parents and kids since tons of people do but it is truly an incredible feeling. sometimes i can't believe my daughter is real, that she exists and will go on to have this bond with me even as she grows and changes.
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May 11, 2023 04:50
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Kid #1: when this newborn baby is awake, all attention must be on her, because that's what parenting is. Also, we don't want her to even be awake in the same room as a functioning screen until she's at least a year old (experts say!) This isn't about entertaining yourself, what are you, some kind of deadbeat? Kid #2: He's not napping and he won't feed, but I want to play video games, so he can sit on my lap while I play video games
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May 11, 2023 18:12
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the sadness and anger when toddler realized that daycare was more than a 1 day thing  
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May 11, 2023 18:14
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Son got Yakuza 7 substories read out loud to him no joke. I cherish the memory of reading him the Gondowara side quest and the peach quest was shared between us I would only advance it if I was reading to him. Each thing was just a perfect pace for if I was holding baby for the next hour. Daughter is getting Harvestella side quests read to her. Perfect length of text, soothing OST, only goes forward when I press button, and it has good lessons to impart. Last week I was soothing infant daughter and doing the Shaotola leg of story in Harvestella. I read the words "slavery is bad" to her, that's so good. More media should say in plain simple language that slavery is bad. Very good didactic text. Perfect for baby. Locacious you should spend $60 for this game I mean it
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May 11, 2023 18:28
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my 6.5 yr old is hyped for new Zelda. she’s been counting down the days. asked to see the trailer like 5 times lol. however she only played BOTW after I upgraded all the armor and beat the DLC so she’s like, “first thing we need to do is get ancient armor and I promise I won’t do anything to your save file . I’ll just get weapons” we may have to set ground rules or she’s gonna have to play her own save lol. but it’s a blast asking her how to solve puzzles and seeing that little brain at work since you can do all sorts of silly poo poo to make things work like using metal weapons to extend electricity or bomb arrows to divert metal balls, etc…
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May 11, 2023 18:40
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Guys is it normal for a newborn to be completely miserable at all times he's not feeding Like I've already mentioned how he completely flips out every diaper change, but the thing is he's pretty likely to start crying at any given moment he's not eating. Pacifier helps, but only sometimes, and we wouldn't have even given him one this early if it wasn't completely consistent his whole life that he is literally never happy if there's not a boob in his mouth I don't THINK this is how it worked for us last time, I'd remember that
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May 12, 2023 10:49
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It's one of the ways babies can be normal I'd say, though if it continues it's always fine to send a quick message to the pediatrician
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May 12, 2023 11:19
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As I remember, the first couple weeks or so, kids have three moods: eating, sleeping and unhappy.
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May 12, 2023 15:18
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loquacius posted:Guys is it normal for a newborn to be completely miserable at all times he's not feeding I remember something similar happening when our first son was born, he wasn't happy unless he was nursing. It's tough because you're going to want to help but there's not much you can do beyond seeing to mom's needs. Hang in there dad.
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May 12, 2023 15:23
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My infant wants to be held. She can tell when she is not being held and she will let us know that that is an unacceptable problem that needs to be fixed.
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May 12, 2023 15:25
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