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I would rock a zoo zoo's crew tag for real e: 
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May 26, 2023 17:54
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MrQwerty posted:Taser Balls Heart Attack commemorates when a man accidentally tased his own balls to death trying to steal a picture of Tip O'Neill from the Capitol Gallery during the Jan. 6 insurrection It is with a heavy heart that i must inform you this didn't actually happen. I wish I could go back to a time when I thought it did
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May 26, 2023 18:36
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big cummers ONLY posted:It is with a heavy heart that i must inform you this didn't actually happen. I wish I could go back to a time when I thought it did Yeah his wife told snopes it didn't who gives a loving poo poo
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May 26, 2023 18:39
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big cummers ONLY posted:It is with a heavy heart that i must inform you this didn't actually happen. I wish I could go back to a time when I thought it did This is Russian Disinformation to make the right look less dumb, be gone Troll
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May 26, 2023 18:59
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rear end-penny posted:I would rock a zoo zoo's crew tag for real Poon Poon Posse
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May 26, 2023 19:32
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Harvey if for some reason you are ever in Saint Louis Missouri I will gladly loan you a bike and we can go for a sweet late night bike ride together.
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May 26, 2023 19:42
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My favorite part of someone tazing his own balls to death is that his wife still insists he didn't die from tazing his own balls, to death.
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May 26, 2023 20:11
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i mean id probably die if someone tazed my balls tbh
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May 26, 2023 20:17
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Word of advice: stay out of C-Spam because they'll throw you back in jail and rightfully so.
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May 26, 2023 20:22
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Draconi Ann posted:My favorite zoo zoos are gone. I really loved the waxy, winelike, firm type of fruit snack from the early 90s, but by the 2000s they were all discontinued. Fruit snacks now have a very gummy/mallowy texture and taste way too sweet with very little fruit flavor. Just like how you’ve noticed everything being way too salty, many things nowadays are way too sweet with no flavor. i liked dr pepper and mr pibb, i was never much of a mtn dew guy. we had a vending machine with sodas in it for a very short time, something like 6 months. i cant drink that stuff nowadays it's way too sweet. as for animal fucker scrotum boy well he didn't cut -off- his scrotum, he cut it open and cut and pulled all the innards out. stabbing and poking knives were made out of toilet paper, melted plastic knives bunched togehter, toothbrush handles. slicing knives could be fashioned from hair combs, black binder clips, and the lovely razors we had for shaving. and as for the day i was released i felt terrified, anxious, relieved. but mostly terrified. at some other time i'll talk about those last weeks and days. harveys zoo zoos fucked around with this message at 20:53 on May 26, 2023 |
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May 26, 2023 20:44
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someone asked about escapes so i'll tell you about a couple of attempts. while i was there no one made it out. i know one guy made it out in the mid 80s but was caught within hours. the first was, maybe 1998-1999. his name was tony and he was short, probably 5'3". he had access to the mail room for his job and got the idea of mailing himself out. the bulk mail to go out was put on pallets and shrink wrapped before it exited the building. since he was small he buried himself amidst the mail bags and had an accomplice shrink wrap it. well tony soon found out he was claustrophobic and freaked out screaming while the guards were looking for him so he never made it out. i dont know what he expected to do once he got on the mail truck or in the post office or whatever. he got a long time in the shu for that. the other was marvin, a friend of my friend, scottie. marvin and his cellie poohbear had a corner cell. their cell had brick walls so they thought they could tunnel out to an area near where the closest fence to the facility was. what they didn't know was the building was double walled so they would have been trapped. also the corner cells were near major plumbing conduits so the cell walls were thicker and stronger. from there they planned to jump that fence even though it had razor wire and dig under another fence to reach an old unused motor pool area. i don't know what they had planned from there. anyway poohbear was in the machine shop putting the finishing touches on their tunneling tool. now normally you;d put something sharp like that in something else, like a plastic toothbrush holder before suitcasing it in your keister. well a guard unexpectedly came and poohbear had to shove it up there by itself. he drat near bled out so that plan didn't get far at all. scottie had told them they were too dumb to make it out anyway but they didn't listen. if i was poohbear i would have just eaten the punishment for the tool and not shove it up my rear end and almost die.
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May 26, 2023 20:47
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okay someone else asked about the craziest thing i saw first hand. answers like these might change if i think about them more because 25+ years is a lot of memories to filter through but seeing this hosed me up. so on the outside there are people called jodys. a jody is someone who has sex with an inmate's woman. well we had this big aryan guy that everyone called white hoss. there was also a black hoss. anyway white hoss found out about the jody who was banging his girl. all his people on the outside were drug traffickers and other bad people and the jody got caught up in a sting with them and got incarcerated. the jody, i don't remember his name, was unlucky and got put in our prison. at first he was in a different building but hoss and his aryan people paid to have him moved to our block. the poor jody didn't even know white hoss was in there. hoss worked in the kitchen with me. the jody's job was maintenance so one day hoss got a guard to have jody fix something in the kitchen. hoss told me to put a container in the microwave and get it boiling. i had taken lsd the night before and was still tripping so i didn't know what was going on. the container had water and vaseline in it, in other words prison napalm. hoss' friends held jody down and they poured the boiling mess on his face. it blistered up and they peeled off a bunch of skin and then cut more skin off with a knife. as they threw the skin away it hit the floor like a piece of wet ham or baloney. guards broke it up put hoss and others in the shu and he got time added to his jacket. the jody was trasferred out and i don't know what happened to him.
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May 26, 2023 21:32
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IANAL ((I am not a lawyer), but I also anal) but I would advise against making any confessions of your personal participation, however removed, in any violent crimes for which you haven't already been charged for the foreseeable future.
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May 26, 2023 21:40
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oh believe you me stuff like that was recorded in my jacket and addressed at the time. fights and participation in stuff like that whether coerced or not were dealt with by time in the shu, revoking of privileges, money taken away, and so on like the cocoon for example was used for stuff like being an accomplice. this never happened to me but it sure as gently caress was a deterrent. the cocoon or burrito was a big, like 7 foot long, thick heavy padded blanket with straps and buckles. i mean really thick and heavy, but i don't know how much. they'd wrap up the inmate and strap them in and leave them alone in a cell for 12 hours. it was 12 hours of a poor soul screaming muffled noises, barely able to breathe and not able to move at all. a straight jacket on steroids. they'd leave them on the block so we'd have to hear their suffering. it was brutal. harveys zoo zoos fucked around with this message at 21:49 on May 26, 2023 |
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May 26, 2023 21:44
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Any idea if that guy even aware of White Hoss and his connection to the girl prior to the revenge? Or did he just suddenly get boiling water to the face for no discernable reason to him?
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May 26, 2023 22:00
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i dont know for sure if he did outside but my guess is yes and it was just a power move to hook up with her. that's what that whole culture is about. but i'm pretty sure once he got caught and found out where he was going he knew white hoss was there and thought 'uh oh'. but i bet he didn't bank on being moved to the same block.
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May 26, 2023 22:06
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Did you ever look up your crime either at the time or since getting out? Newspapers, online, etc. Relatedly: was there ever any campaign by friends or family to get you out early considering what your stepfather had done himself?
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May 26, 2023 22:13
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I find it funny that Jody has the same meaning for deployed military.
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May 26, 2023 22:19
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my RSO (weed oil if the op is unfamiliar) just started kicking in and I can not stop giggling at this man
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May 26, 2023 22:29
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Mordja posted:Did you ever look up your crime either at the time or since getting out? Newspapers, online, etc. Relatedly: was there ever any campaign by friends or family to get you out early considering what your stepfather had done himself? yeah i did, while i was inside but not since. there were beginnings of an attempt an early release b/c of that but the lawyers were like haha no that's not how it works pal. i dont want to talk too much about the sentencing or appeals and the exact way it all got started, for obvious reasons but yeah the short of it is we tried a few things at different points along the whole way. what i got and how much time i actually did reflect those attempts if that makes sense Evil SpongeBob posted:I find it funny that Jody has the same meaning for deployed military. i think thats where it came from yeah
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May 26, 2023 22:31
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harveys zoo zoos posted:like the cocoon for example was used for stuff like being an accomplice. this never happened to me but it sure as gently caress was a deterrent. how long ago was this done? I want to believe this isn't still in practice but at the same time I wouldn't be surprised at all
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May 26, 2023 22:36
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the last time i saw it happen was probably a year or so before my release but that was just my unit. 'he gettin wrapped up' was something i always hated hearing no matter who it was
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May 26, 2023 22:38
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harveys zoo zoos posted:that made me wonder if there is a story about why
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May 26, 2023 22:58
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I asked this in another ex-con thread but I'm still curious. I use a CPAP machine because I have obstructive sleep apnea, and it's my "go to sleep" machine. It's improved my life greatly, now I get a proper full nights sleep instead of fitful lovely sleep. Are inmates allowed to have medical devices like that? second related question: I use foam ear plugs as I sleep because of the noise of the CPAP and I am a truck driver that used to drive team so I would sleep while the other driver drove and I needed ear plugs to keep out the noise of driving. Are inmates allowed to use foam ear plugs? I heard that sleep is very difficult because of people screaming at night for whatever reason.
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May 26, 2023 23:06
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yeah if it is physician ordered it is generally allowed. but remember what i posted about inmates having insulin needs ignored. medical care is terrible in there earplugs were available from the commissary and yes there is never a quiet moment it is nonstop noise 24/7 by the way what cpap device do you have i'm thinking i should probably get screened for sleep apnea harveys zoo zoos fucked around with this message at 23:19 on May 26, 2023 |
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May 26, 2023 23:16
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I think I remember from other prison goon threads how hard it can be for long time cons adjust to setting their own schedule and having trouble doing things without being ordered to like opening doors for yourself. Do you find that true as well? do you find yourself doing the same routine you had in prison?
ImPureAwesome fucked around with this message at 23:24 on May 26, 2023 |
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May 26, 2023 23:22
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Oh my god this thread rules. Welcome back to the outside! You mentioned earlier you liked food. What sort of fun concoctions did you like to eat with the stuff you had available? i always hear about prison tacos or whatever
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May 26, 2023 23:27
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Brussel sprouts have got really drat good since you went in
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May 26, 2023 23:43
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ImPureAwesome posted:I think I remember from other prison goon threads how hard it can be for long time cons adjust to setting their own schedule and having trouble doing things without being ordered to like opening doors for yourself. Do you find that true as well? do you find yourself doing the same routine you had in prison? yeah the routine inside is what breaks a lot of people. i'd find ways to break it up by like taking a few extra steps on may somewhere sometimes even backtracking a little to take more time i dont have a problem with doors and stuff like that now but setting a schedule for myself on my own and even breaking it on purpose are things i work with my therapist on
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May 26, 2023 23:48
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What kind of poo poo did your parole board expect out of you as a murderer?
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May 26, 2023 23:52
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harveys zoo zoos posted:yeah the routine inside is what breaks a lot of people. i'd find ways to break it up by like taking a few extra steps on may somewhere sometimes even backtracking a little to take more time reminds me of this mini-monologue from Oz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnTjEQoOu7I&t=155s
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May 26, 2023 23:54
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Konar posted:Brussel sprouts have got really drat good since you went in It has an s though OP remember to pronounce the s when you order the brussels sprouts so you don't look like a rube
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May 26, 2023 23:54
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Private Cumshoe posted:It has an s though OP remember to pronounce the s when you order the brussels sprouts so you don't look like a rube OP if you are here long enough you can be like this
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May 27, 2023 00:02
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Spaced God posted:Oh my god this thread rules. Welcome back to the outside! oh gosh there's so many and there are different ways of making these but a couple favorites- we'd make dough from crushed up cookies and water, hot chocolate mix, and use mashed up reese's peanut butter cups for filling between layers of dough. melt some chocolate bars over top for icing then chill that bad boy until it sets. voila prison cake pizza made from crackers like ritz or plain saltines, ramen noodles, and butter for dough. tomato sauce of some kind, shredded or string cheese, and the usual toppings like a meat such as beef jerky or sardines, olives. some guys were awesome at making ice cream but mine was always terrible haha. they used powdered milk and different drink mixes
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May 27, 2023 00:12
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Konar posted:OP if you are here long enough you can be like this the burn I deserve and the warning he needs
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May 27, 2023 00:19
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did you get your prison tats poked with a sharpened staple old school style or did they give you walkmans to take the motors from
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May 27, 2023 00:25
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ikanreed posted:What kind of poo poo did your parole board expect out of you as a murderer? the crazy thing about parole boards is in a lot of states they do not have to disclose how they arrive at their decision or the criteria used to evaluate. and courts have ruled over and over that there is no right to due process for parole. the sort of questions they asked were like 'why did you do it', 'do you feel remorse', 'have the programs inside helped you', 'what personal resources will be available to you outside', and the big one 'why should you be granted parole'. they stick to whatever script they've been assigned so as a murderer i'm pretty sure i got the same questions as everyone else. we could take classes on how to handle it and they told us to treat it like a school or sales presentation. the board members do not care how emotional you are. the local district attorny can attend and so can victims or their family. i was denied twice. i had to wait 5 years between hearings. you did not want to talk about when your hearing would be because inmates would try to get in your head or worse just to make you fail.
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May 27, 2023 00:30
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R.L. Stine posted:did you get your prison tats poked with a sharpened staple old school style or did they give you walkmans to take the motors from it's fine you asked and i don't mind but i don't want to talk about tattoos because the ones i received i did not receive willingly. that's all i'll say about that.
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May 27, 2023 00:31
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harveys zoo zoos posted:the crazy thing about parole boards is in a lot of states they do not have to disclose how they arrive at their decision or the criteria used to evaluate. and courts have ruled over and over that there is no right to due process for parole. Yeah that's about the level of dysfunction I'd expect from the American justice system.
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May 27, 2023 00:39
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Private Cumshoe posted:the burn I deserve and the warning he needs Haha, I will be using that information (had no idea) to blow up people's spot for the next foreseeable years, so thanks
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May 27, 2023 00:41
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