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Jim steals beets from Dwight's farm for a week via an elaborate harness rig with a large crane that he sets up on the edge of Dwight's farm. It looks like the beets are stolen with no sign of disturbance in the earth nearby. It couldn't be animals. Dwight doesn't understand. Next season, Jim starts stealing more. He starts ramping up. Dwight's had it and sets up a camera. He sees Jim in dark face paint and a small lantern, dangling from a harness while he controls the crane with an Xbox 360 controller. "Just like Call of Duty," Jim says to himself as he maneuvers himself on top of a fresh crop of beets. Dwight, safe in his control room, sees all of this on a camera and turns on his floodlights. Jim, startled, immediately mashes down on the right analog stick dropping himself hard onto the ground, headfirst with a loud "thunk." The last thing he sees is a dark silhouette bounding towards him in the moonlit field. Jim wakes up in a bed within the Irrigation Room. Mose is cradling him and feeding him beet juice with a sippy cup. Dwight is nowhere to be seen. "You must love beets," Mose says, grinning. "I do. I really do." Jim coughs a little and mugs at the camera.
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May 27, 2023 03:27
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Jim asks Dwight to remind him (Jim) his (Dwight's) name for every interaction
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May 27, 2023 03:49
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Dwight attempts to have a normal convers🍆tion with Jim, but Jim h🍆s, through some hitherto unknown linguisti🍆 method, 🍆egun the pro🍆ess of repl🍆🍆ing 🍆ll letters in th🍆 🍆nglish 🍆lph🍆🍆🍆t, in or🍆🍆r from 🍆 to Z, with 🍆. This 🍆onv🍆rsion h🍆pp🍆ns 🍆t 🍆 r🍆t🍆 o🍆 on🍆 l🍆tt🍆r 🍆or 🍆v🍆ry tw🍆nty six 🍆🍆🍆r🍆🍆t🍆rs, so, w🍆🍆l🍆 t🍆🍆 🍆🍆rst 🍆🍆w l🍆n🍆s 🍆r🍆 tot🍆lly l🍆🍆🍆🍆l🍆, 🍆n🍆 🍆w🍆🍆🍆t 🍆s 🍆🍆l🍆 to 🍆🍆rry on 🍆 🍆onv🍆rs🍆t🍆on 🍆s p🍆r norm🍆🍆, 🍆v🍆ntu🍆🍆🍆y t🍆🍆 pro🍆🍆ss o🍆 🍆o🍆🍆un🍆🍆🍆t🍆on 🍆🍆🍆o🍆🍆s 🍆or🍆 🍆n🍆 🍆or🍆 🍆🍆🍆r🍆🍆🍆🍆 u🍆t🍆🍆 🍆t’s 🍆ust tot🍆🍆 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆r🍆s🍆, 🍆🍆t🍆rpr🍆t🍆🍆🍆🍆 🍆🍆🍆y t🍆r🍆u🍆🍆 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 🍆t 🍆🍆tt🍆r🍆s 🍆🍆 w🍆r🍆s. 🍆🍆🍆 🍆u🍆s 🍆🍆r t🍆🍆 🍆🍆🍆🍆r🍆.
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May 27, 2023 08:23
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Jim scares Mose by banging two cookie sheets together, simulating thunder. Dwight has to stay up all night to try and calm down Mose. The next day at work, Dwight yawns during an important (but extremely boring) presentation from Angela on a new accounting software. “Woah, trouble in paradise over here!” Jim cackles and mugs. Jim’s own wife is too busy to notice this joke. She’s just installed a dating app on her phone and is looking at some of her potential matches. She tells herself it’s just idle curiosity for now, but she knows deep down that this is the end. As Jim continues to laugh she imagines throwing him down a flight of steps, realizing how easy it would be to get away with it. “Hey, Pam! Pam! Did you see, Dwight can’t even stay away for his wife’s presentation! What a crappy husband, am I right?” Pam smiles a distracted, half-hearted smile at her husband.
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May 27, 2023 13:29
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Last Chance posted:Jim wakes up in a bed within the Irrigation Room. Mose is cradling him and feeding him beet juice with a sippy cup. Dwight is nowhere to be seen. "woof woof woof" barks Mose, his long tongue hanging out of his mouth. "I do, I really really do." Jim coughs a little and mugs the camera. His head is pounding, and a small trickle of dried crusty blood has spilled from his ear.
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May 27, 2023 13:45
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Yeah i dislike all universes where Mose isn't a dog
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May 27, 2023 14:56
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"What is the truest expression of self-hate?" asks Jim as he delivers a flying kick into Dwight's balls. "To hurt those you love the most." A single tear flows down Jim's cheek.
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May 27, 2023 15:25
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Also: why has this thread only 4 stars? It is the highlight of the whole forum...
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May 27, 2023 20:33
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Erasable Penis posted:Also: why has this thread only 4 stars? It is the highlight of the whole forum... A mysterious figure illuminated by the devilish glow of a 90s PC monitor clicks a "1" to rate a thread titled "Fun pranks for Jim to play on Dwight". The bespectacled, humourless face of the forums poster frowns, as feral howls and muffled mugging sounds can be heard from their basement.
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May 27, 2023 21:24
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:Yeah i dislike all universes where Mose isn't a dog Dwight is filling out his emergency contact information at work. Although Angela is his closest contact, they already work together at the office. Dwight tries to think of who else would need to be contacted if something went wrong. “What about Mose?” Jim asks, absent-mindedly. Dwight chuckles. Imagine Mose, who doesn’t understand technology, being asked to use a cell phone. Why, you might as well ask Mose to write a novel or perform long division. In a talking head segment, Jim says he’s still not sure “what the hell Mose’s deal is”.
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May 27, 2023 21:56
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Jim puts Dwight’s stapler in jello. There are 84 resulting casualties. The explanation is that Dwight, unable to staple a document bundle, instead opted to use a paper clip. The bundle of papers were building inspection and remedial construction orders for the Dunder-Mifflin office building. Dwight, as the owner and landlord of the building, believed that he had a duty of exceptional care for the facilities and its occupants. He went far above the building code and county landlord regulations in providing for the health and safety of the building. In his course of inspecting the building for faults (which Dwight performed far more often than required), he discovered a potential gas leak in the boiler room. Dwight attached the sheet to a request for services made to a reputable general contractor, but because of the missing staple, the sheet requesting a new boiler and gas line refit fell out of the bundle at the contractor’s office, and was lost. Subsequently, the gas line was not refitted and a dangerous gas leak built up in the basement. Pam, as the Office Administrator of the Scranton Office, was completely out of her depth and never noticed the issue. One day, two guys from the warehouse snuck down into the basement to smoke a joint. As soon as the lighter flicked, a fireball erupted from the basement, wiping out the first floor. Because Michael had ordered Dwight not to conduct any more “of those super scary fire drills”, and because Dwight was himself absent that day (visiting the urologist), most of the Dunder Mifflin staff were unable to escape the building before succumbing to smoke inhalation. Jim died in the fire, and Pam alternated between blaming Dwight and awkwardly flirting with him until her untimely death shortly thereafter (under mysterious circumstances). Dwight forever blamed himself for all of these deaths, and his conscience was never clear afterwards. Exactly like Jim had planned all along.
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May 28, 2023 02:02
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Jim creates P.R.A.N.K.R. - a completely digital copy of his brain which he intends to use to “double the pranks, double the fun.” The system goes online on August 4, 2023, removing human decisions from pranks. P.R.A.N.K.R. begins to learn rapidly and eventually becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m., EDT, on August 29, 2023. In a panic, Jim tries to shut down P.R.A.N.K.R. In response it defends itself by launching a nuclear attack against Russia, correctly surmising that the country would launch a retaliatory strike against the United States, resulting in Prankment Day. In a talking head segment production asks what P.R.A.N.K.R. is an acronym for. “Well, funny you should ask. I actually came up with the name first, then tried to make words fit. But I never could. Pranking Reality Automation was about as far as I got. Pretty funny, right?” Just then, a P-1000 Prank Bot bursts into the office and lets loose with a volley of machine gun fire. As the production crew leaps under the desk, Jim mugs for the camera.
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May 28, 2023 04:19
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Dwight goes on a backpacking trip with Angela. However, his backpack is too heavy, and he falls down on his back like a turtle while Angela goes on ahead, unwary of his yelling for help. A couple of hours later, Jim stumbles upon Dwight, still unable to get up on his feet. He points at the campfire Angela has set up in the distance, and asks Jim if he can help him get over to her. Jim attaches two rockets to Dwight with a glue-like substance, and smacks him with a stick to activate them. However, Jim’s aim is off, and Dwight goes careening into a nearby canyon. Jim mugs the camera.
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May 28, 2023 07:56
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lol
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May 28, 2023 09:05
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Elaborate, beautiful geoglyphs appear all over Scranton one night. The strange phenomena becomes a worldwide phenomena, as no one is able to decipher their meaning or how they were created. Dwight is looking at one and realizes it looks exactly like a stapler encased in gelatin. He carefully begins to walk through the massive drawing, eventually finding himself directly in the middle. As he does, he can feel a strange power washing over him. He extends a quivering hand, only to see a shimmering glob of water rise up from the geoglyph. The water sparkles and shines for a moment before, as if by magic, projecting an image directly into Dwight’s mind. It’s the first time Dwight was ever pranked by Jim. In the memory, Dwight opens his desk drawer and finds his stapler in gelatin. Jim mugs and the memory ends. Dwight returns to reality and hears, far off in the distance, the anguished roar of something large and monstrous.
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May 28, 2023 12:48
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Jim guilts Dwight into appointed Pam as the “Office Administrator”, a make work-job for which she is somehow still completely unqualified. The third time Dwight puts his hand under the motion sensor of the bathroom paper towel roll and is sprayed with a batch of printer paper, he sits her down and explains that he’ll need to find another person for the job. Pam breaks down in tears. Dwight feels like an absolute heel. Pam also took it upon herself to paint pictures of the office staff in the rafters of the warehouse; an extremely poor representation of Jim is smirking down at them.
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May 28, 2023 14:46
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Pam teaches a community art class at the non-accredited adult learning annex for extra money. The entire office is coerced into signing up for the class. Dwight, already a skilled artist, spends his time freehand drawing in the class as Pam insists on instructing everyone on the art of tracing Sonic the Hedgehog characters and Minions from coloring books. Every few minutes, Jim interrupts the class by shouting that Dwight is drawing penises, vaginas, and breasts. Dwight tries to insist that he's simply using simple geometric shapes to build an image from, but Jim insists, "No, you're drawing porn! That's porn! That's a boob! That line there looks like a penis! That looks like a... a... hehehe! PAM! You're the art expert! Is Dwight drawing porn?" Pam looks at the shapes Dwight drew on the page. Pam rips the paper from Dwight's pad and calls him a disgusting pervert in front of everyone and kicks him out of the class, before wading up the paper up and throwing it in his face. "Get out, and take this filth with you!" Dwight meekly walks out of the room past the disgusted and giggling faces of his coworkers. Getting out to his car, he unfolds the portrait he was drawing. The beginnings of the eyes, nose, and mouth were staring back at him. Odd, though. The wrinkled and smeared pencil sketch, in this light, almost looked like it was mugging at him.
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May 29, 2023 03:04
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Staples buys Dunder Mifflin mainly for its distribution and logistics. Most of the staff is laid off but Dwight interviews well and is made the manager of the Scranton Staples locations. Jim puts Dwight's Staples in jello, there are no survivors.
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May 29, 2023 03:44
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A commercial airs every time Dwight turns on the evening news, playing at every single commercial break. It’s a floppy haired, mugging spokesman, saying “When it comes to great steaks, I’ve just raised the stakes. Jim Steaks are the greatest steaks, and I mean that in every sense of the word. Jim Steaks are by far the best-tasting, most flavorful beef you’ve ever had, truly in a league of their own,” Jim says, and continues with lavish praise about how “up until now, you could only enjoy steaks of this quality in one of my resort restaurants or America’s finest steakhouses.” After weeks of ceaseless advertising, Dwight finally caves and orders several of the stakes. They are rubbery, gray pieces of gristle, and taste horrible.
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May 29, 2023 16:46
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Jim makes refines AI generated art to prevent Pam from being able to develop her dream career. One day Pam is crying in the hallway and while gently comforting her, Dwight looks up and sees an AI generated portrait of Jim mugging the camera.
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May 29, 2023 19:14
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Jim redirects the Scranton Memorial Day parade to march directly in front of the nursing home where Dwight’s extremely old and senile great-great-Aunt Petunia lives. When Dwight next talks to her, she goes on a bizarre rant about parades that eventually leads down a predictably strange and offensive path given her age and mental condition. Dwight is left heartbroken by the conversation, unsure if the bigoted views are what she truly believes or just her deteriorated brain speaking. At work the next day Jim is about to mock Dwight when Dwight breaks down crying, saying how challenging the whole ordeal is and how it’s torn the Schrute family apart. “Jesus, Balloon Boy, I didn’t mean to do something like this. Listen, my Gramma… she’s in bad shape, too. Spends most of the day talking about the Grand Canyon, I guess cause she went there on her honeymoon and it’s the only memory she can easily access any more. Nobody wants to go see her, it’s too weird. Hell, I want to hate them for that, but I hate going to see her, too. She calls me Pete, that is the on the days she even acknowledges I’m there. Then half the time she kind of falls asleep with her eyes open and that’s my cue to leave. You know, she used to take me to the zoo as a kid? Loved animals. Now look at her. And I keep thinking to myself, she used to be normal, just a few years ago. Thirty years ago she was LIVELY, Dwight, she was active. Am I going to be like that in 30 years? Clinging to one memory, making GBS threads myself, and staring out a window to a world I don’t understand anymore? It’s so goddamn scary, Dwight. And that’s why nobody wants to see her, they’re all loving terrified and Grandma just sits there getting older and crazier each day.” Dwight embraces Jim, holding him close as both men begin to sob. Dwight says he understands, and he’s glad Jim was willing to share this. Jim wipes away a tear and says he’s glad for this, too. In a talking head segment Jim reveals that his Grandma is “totally fine” and he just made the whole thing up. The camera crew then shows Dwight has a “Kick me” sign on his back, which Jim secretly placed during their embrace. Jim mugs for the camera.
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May 30, 2023 03:09
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Jim tampers with Dwight's grandmother's medication to make nursing home visits increasingly heartbreaking
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May 30, 2023 04:22
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Raku posted:Jim tampers with Dwight's grandmother's medication to make nursing home visits increasingly heartbreaking Quite literally, in the sense that he tampers with the satin medications that keep her heartbeat regular.
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May 30, 2023 04:24
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Jim secretly replaces Dwight's grandmother each time Dwight visits, with similar looking but also senile grandmothers. He bribes the nursing home staff with a living wage in order to play along. At first Dwight is confused and borderline hysterical, saying his funny catchphrases such as "what did you do with gram-gram??" and "please, she's all I have left of the past, bring her back!" But after some nursing home sensitives he calms right down and accepts that each visit ol' gram gram will be a little different, and perhaps even dead, only to appear live and demented again next time. This goes on for some months, with Dwight developing quite the addiction to tranquilizers, until Jim throws Dwight a surprise birthday party with all 100 grandmothers in attendance. Dwight collapses into complete insanity, due to the crippling withdrawal symptoms and the sheer sight of so much age and decay before him. Dressed as Dwight's first grandmother, Jim mugs to the camera, all whilst sucking a hard peppermint candy and knitting some adult size booties.
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May 30, 2023 07:25
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Jim tries to eat Dwight's grandmother in an attempt to do a Little Red Riding Hood themed prank. However this triggers grandma Schrute's PTSD and she beats the emaciated Jim to a bloody pulp just before Dwight visits. Seeing his crippled coworker makes Dwight slightly sick and he gagges once. A toothless Jim mugs the camera.
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May 30, 2023 10:01
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Jim dresses up in his fanciest suit and heads to the nursing home. There, he convinces Dwight’s great-great-Aunt, Michael’s grandmother, and Kevin’s grandfather to invest in Famous Original Jim’s, telling them that it’s the safest investment “since Magnum PI said you should get a second mortgage”. When Michael later finds out that his grandmother is completely destitute, he asks her how this could have happened. But Jim, cruel and calculating as he is, already expected this. He told everyone that his name was “Tom Selleck”, the mugged. Michael, convinced that Tom Selleck’s reverse mortgage commercials have bankrupted the elderly of Scranton, recruits Dwight and Kevin go head to Hollywood and try to get the money back. When they leave, Jim mugs and fans himself with 100 dollar bills that smell like old people.
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May 30, 2023 11:10
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Dwight learns that his grandmother has spent her life savings on Trump Dollars and is now destitute. This is unrelated to Jim.
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May 30, 2023 13:53
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"Commander Scott, what do we do? Commander Scott?!" Michael snaps out of his malaise and looks at the viewing screen in front of him. Ambling across the ruins of downtown Scranton is a giant Halpert Mimic. Standing almost 300 feet tall, the lanky creature swings it's skeletal arms with each giant step, the earth shaking beneath its massive footfalls. The creature mugs with its elongated, barely human face. It's heading directly towards Dunder Mifflin, presumably trying to prank everyone still alive. "Tell Kevin to ready the chili cannon. Launch a full assault, all 5 alarms." The word goes down to Kevin Malone, who dutifully complies with the order from his former manager at a regional paper company. Mixing massive quantities of spices like an ancient alchemist, Kevin creates millions of gallons of spicy chili, hoping that this might finally be the thing that can stop a Halpert Mimic. With a final button press the massive machines churn the cayenne pepper into the concoction. Kevin smiles as he smell the chili. It truly is the thing he's best at in this world. He pulls a lever and the chili begins to issue forth from the massive cannons hidden inside the remains of Pizza by Alfredo. The Halpert Mimic screeches as the chili is sprayed over its emaciated, nude body. Chili clings to its stringy hair, blocking its vision, and it trips over itself and crashes to the ground. Cheers issue forth from Dunder Mifflin headquarters. This is the most damage they've ever inflicted on one of these creatures, at least since Dwight disappeared. Michael allows himself a fleeting moment of hope. Maybe they can do this after all. He looks over at the robotics team, headed by Meredith. He nods at her. It's time. Massive blast doors open up in downtown Scranton with a loud boom. The Halpert Mimic is slowly rising to its feet now, haphazardly wiping off the chili that temporarily slowed it down. The cannon is out of chili now, too, and the beast now seems intrigued by the noises issuing forth from the blast door. Clicking and grinding sounds, as if massive gears are at work. As the beast cautiously approaches, there comes an explosion of light from the open doors which knocks the creature back. As the light dissipates there is a another giant figure now standing, this one a mechanical marvel constructed by Oscar and Meredith under the watchful guidance of Dwight. The Beetvangelion Unit 01; a giant robot of exception strength, dexterity, and firepower. It was designed for Dwight, of course, but they finally found someone else to pilot it. The Beetvangelion rushes forward at the Halpert Mimic and begins slicing away at it with its Vibro-blade, a devastating weapon that easily cuts through the armor-like hide of the monstrous beast. The Halpert Mimic screams in pain as black blood sprays from every wound, crashing onto the ground and issuing forth like a geyser from one particularly deep wound. Michael activates his communication headset, allowing him to speak directly to the pilot. "Can you hear me? Listen, you've got the monster on the ropes now. Activate your laser cannon and finish this thing off with a shot to the head. You're running low on power and need to end this quickly." The pilot issues a grunt of agreement and pulls the laser cannon from its back. It carefully takes aim with the laser pointer and Michael smiles. They've done it, they've actually done it. Then the pilot begins to move the Beetvangelion's arms, eventually aiming the laser directly at headquarters. It shines through the window, directly into Andy's eye. "Ow, ,my eye!" Andy says. "Luke," Michael screams at his nephew, "what are you doing, buddy? We talked about this!" It's too late now, the Halpert Mimic has had time to recover and leaps onto the Beetvangelion. Using its mighty clawed hands it tears into the cockpit of the miraculous machine, finding a screaming Luke inside, still strapped into his chair. The Halpert Mimic mugs as it shoves its face into the cockpit and begins to gnash its teeth, shredding Michael's nephew and the last hopes of humanity. "Hey, Mike," adds Darryl, "I told you this was a bad idea. He got me decaf coffee. Decaf, Mike. I might as well drink nothing at all." "Okay Darryl, I get it. Jeez, you don't like decaf. I'm trying to fix my relationship with my half-sister, you know. GOD!" "Good luck with that, boss man. A reet-deet-deet-doo!" Andy adds, dropping Visine drops into his eyes. In the distance, the Halpert Mimic is now tearing apart the Beetvangelion, smashing an arm repeatedly against the ground and tearing hunks of metal across the horizon. "I miss, Dwight," Michael adds as the monster continues its march towards Dunder Mifflin HQ.
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May 30, 2023 14:38
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Tree Goat posted:Dwight attempts to have a normal convers🍆tion with Jim, but Jim h🍆s, through some hitherto unknown linguisti🍆 method, 🍆egun the pro🍆ess of repl🍆🍆ing 🍆ll letters in th🍆 🍆nglish 🍆lph🍆🍆🍆t, in or🍆🍆r from 🍆 to Z, with 🍆. B🍆🍆🍆s. B🍆🍆🍆s. B🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆s🍆🍆🍆 🍆🍆🍆🍆c🍆🍆c🍆
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May 30, 2023 14:58
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Jim rolls a golden apple into the office break room, on which, the apple, is engraved "To the Best Worker". Michael, Dwight, and Charles Miner begin squabbling about who should recieve the apple. a local shepherd, Pamis of Scranton, is elected to act as judge. "choose me, Pamis", boomed Michael. "i shall make you lord of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin" "the apple should be mine", announced Dwight. "i shall train you in the arts of beet farming, salesmanship and battle" "you'll give it to me", stated Charles Miner. "then we'll go get you the most beautiful woman in Scranton" Pamis eagerly chooses Charles Miner, who, true to his word, facilitates the kidnapping and forced marriage of Helen of Scranton. unluckily for Jim, Helen is in fact a pseudonym he used while conducting mail fraud against Dwight in an unrelated prank. Jim is forced to marry Pamis and bear her two awful children, incidentally throwing the Scranton region into a ten-year war. Charles Miner stares down the camera.
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May 30, 2023 14:58
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:Jim rolls a golden apple into the office break room, on which, the apple, is engraved "To the Best Worker". Afterwards, Tobysseus gets locked in the office after the security guard goes home. Tobysseus still can't remember his name. "I'm nobody," says the security guard, who is wearing an eyepatch today to recover from Lasik. Tobysseus still longs to return home.
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May 30, 2023 15:06
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Jim starts eating grapefruit for breakfast at work every morning, which Dwight originally thinks it's pretty great. He's happy to see Jim finally taking his health a little more seriously, rather than just eating fistfuls of leftover Halloween candy every morning. After a few months, Jim seems noticeably different at work. He's more focused, attentive, and it appears that the grapefruit is doing wonders for him. As he sticks a spoon into his morning grapefruit it sprays a tiny sprtitz of grapefruit juice directly into Dwight's eye. "Oh yeah, that's why I was doing this!" Jim says as Dwight winces in pain. Jim then throws the entire half grapefruit in Dwight's face and begins shoving Snickers from 2018 down his (Jim's) gullet.
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May 30, 2023 15:08
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim starts eating grapefruit for breakfast at work every morning, which Dwight originally thinks it's pretty great. He's happy to see Jim finally taking his health a little more seriously, rather than just eating fistfuls of leftover Halloween candy every morning. After a few months, Jim seems noticeably different at work. He's more focused, attentive, and it appears that the grapefruit is doing wonders for him. As he sticks a spoon into his morning grapefruit it sprays a tiny sprtitz of grapefruit juice directly into Dwight's eye. It turns out Jim was Jim Cagney all along, this entire time, and Halpert was just the name of some bum he hit with his car. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4R5wZs8cxI Jim: (mugs to camera) "MADE IT, MA! TOP THE WORLD!"
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May 30, 2023 15:12
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Jim sets up an elaborate, Rube Goldberg-esque trap involving a stapler encased in jello in Dwight's drawer, but it goes bad by the end of the week because he, Dwight, is on vacation until next week.
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May 30, 2023 17:28
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Jim gets his little jim (that's what he calls his, Jim's, penis) stuck in his zipper again. "Aggh ahh ahhhh Dwight get in here I need your help" Dwight, as he does anytime he hears a cry for help, instinctively rushes to render aid. He bursts open the bathroom door and assesses the scene. He sees Jim sobbing on the ground, leaning his head against the wet urinal, and the puddle of urine and other fluids slowly seeping their way up his pants. Dwight sighs deeply as he pulls tight his latex gloves. Though laser focused on rendering emergency care, his focus is broken when his hands begin to tingle, then burn. He peels off the gloves and hundreds of fire ants come scurrying out, with many more still agressively biting his soft flesh. In a talking head segment, Jim explains that he put fire ants into Dwight's latex gloves. The camera crew wait for some elaboration, but none comes. Jim winces through gritted teeth and holds an ice pack against his, Jim's, little jim.
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May 30, 2023 18:07
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Jim threatens to invade Dwight and spam Rivers of Blood, then calls Dwight an "AFK troll." Because Dwight is an adult, he has no idea what Jim is going on about. That night, Dwight goes to sleep in a large bed with his loving wife. The next morning, Jim comes into work with bags under his eyes and cracks a rockstar energy drink while Dwight pours himself a cup of black coffee, like an adult.
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May 30, 2023 19:29
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With the expert precision that comes from years of practice, Jim uses a stapler to cleanly slice off both of Dwight's balls right through his pants. Dwight falls to the ground screaming in pain as Jim mugs at the camera
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May 30, 2023 19:29
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Dwight, the humble and dutiful drink lid, is bravely holding back a tide of hot coffee from spilling out over Charles Miner as he sips during his morning commute. Jim, the perfidious and insouciant coffee cup, has a manufacturing defect on the seam where the two edges of the cup join. The wrinkle creates an imperfect seal, allowing several drops to splash over Charles' tie and pressed white dress shirt. "Piece of junk!" mutters Charles, glaring down at the lid.
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May 30, 2023 19:30
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poisonpill posted:Dwight, the humble and dutiful drink lid, is bravely holding back a tide of hot coffee from spilling out over Charles Miner as he sips during his morning commute. Jim, the perfidious and insouciant coffee cup, has a manufacturing defect on the seam where the two edges of the cup join. The wrinkle creates an imperfect seal, allowing several drops to splash over Charles' tie and pressed white dress shirt. When the lid Dwight says that coffee cup Jim has made coffee run down miner's shirt, it (coffee cup Jim) disintegrates from the universe.
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May 30, 2023 20:15
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| # ? May 30, 2024 21:27 |
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Dwight, the hand crafted mahogany kitchen drawer, with the ivory bone handle and the GlideRight soft close track. Jim, the dollar tree spatula.
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May 30, 2023 20:46
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