r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

the holy poopacy posted:

Strictly speaking scoville rating only measures concentration of capsaicin, so anything that isn't a chili pepper has a scoville rating of zero, but capsaicin is not the only compound that activates that burning sensation.

Yeah, that was the critique I was giving.
I personally find the heartburn potential of raw garlic much more serious than the mouth heat.

# ? May 29, 2023 17:20

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# ? May 29, 2024 01:05

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

And today's entry in the foot-shooting olympics:

AITA for not giving my sister in law and her family a luxury vacation.

quote:

I travel a lot for work so I have so many hotel and airline points it is crazy.

This summer I am taking my family to Disney World. We are going to stay at one of the resorts on the property.

My sister in law and her family had a hard time during the pandemic so I decided to do something nice and invite them along. My treat.

I said I would pay for their flights, hotel, and park tickets.

Everyone was excited until she started talking to my wife. Now she is upset that we are staying at one of the resorts and they have to stay in Disney Springs.

Apparently I'm being cheap by using points for their hotel instead of just paying for them to stay at the same resort as us.

My wife told her sister and brother-in-law to STFU and accept the gift but they didn't. They told my in-laws that I was making their kids jealous by not letting them enjoy the same stuff as us.

To be clear the hotel I booked for them is very nice. It's just not The Grand Floridian.

So I finally talked to them and gave the the choice of accepting my gift or not coming since I could still cancel their reservations.

They started yelling at me for being an rear end in a top hat and taking something away from their children. I had talked to them like adults but when they started screaming their kids heard them and found out that they might not be going. Now their kids are pissed at their parents for possibly loving up their vacation. And I'm the bigger rear end in a top hat for making them look bad in front of their kids.

AITA?

# ? May 29, 2023 17:36

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for laughing when my daughter insulted my sister?

quote:

I have 2 kids, 5 month old boy and 14 years old girl

My daughter has recently started answering everything sarcastically, I think it's a teenager thing

My son doesn't sleep at night at all. We tried everything and he still won't sleep

Last night we were visiting my sister and we were talking. I told her how tired I am and that my son won't sleep at night no matter what we do. She asked me if I had tried "putting him in bed"

Before I could say anything my daughter turned to her and said something like "OMG auntie thank god you are here we could never think of that"

My sister told her to be polite and my daughter answered by calling her a moron

I admit I was laughing. It was pretty funny

My sister was annoyed. She accused me of encouraging this behavior in her and thinks I'm an rear end in a top hat and my daughter should be punished

i like this kid

# ? May 29, 2023 17:48

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

no.
cooked and raw garlic both have a scoville rating of zero.

So do wasabi, mustard, and horseradish so perhaps not the best unit of measurement for this purpose.

# ? May 29, 2023 17:51

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

To expand:

Financial aid at private universities is really complex. Generally, private universities give two types of money: merit-based aid (money you've earned based on your qualifications) and need-based aid (money you've earned by being poor). As institutions become more selective - and more desirable - they offer less and less merit-based aid, with the most elite (and selective) institutions, like Ivy League schools, offering only need-based aid, and promising 'to meet full need'. For schools like this, two things matter: how a school determines how much you can afford to pay, and what their policy is for defining a threshold below which they meet full need. Everyone who applies for financial aid in the US completes the FAFSA, which is from the federal government, which defines how much you can afford to pay with an EFC, an expected financial contribution. How the FAFSA determines that is fairly blunt - while also being complex and also completely changing next year! - and can be "gamed" by people who know who it works. In response to this, more selective institutions, including those that meet full need, also have students complete the CSS Profile, which is a much deeper dive into your overall assets, as well as non-custodial parent income. But even this is a very blunt tool. To simplify this, schools like Harvard will also set an AGI threshold - right now theirs is around $70,000 - where a student from a household with an AGI less than that pays nothing, with a sliding scale beyond that to determine financial contribution. In many parts of the country a $70,000 AGI... is not a lot. And even if it should be, that doesn't mean the family is financially responsible, because very few people in this country, regardless of wealth, are in a position to write a check for $35,000 every year.

And all of that is assuming we're talking about one of the very small handful of schools that operate like this, and not one of the many hundreds more elite - and selective - private schools that don't meet full need and can leave a student a fairly large gap in what they have to pay vs. what they can afford.

# ? May 29, 2023 17:55

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Upgrade posted:

And even if it should be, that doesn't mean the family is financially responsible, because very few people in this country, regardless of wealth, are in a position to write a check for $35,000 every year.

Harvard full tuition this year is 57k, and that's middle of the road among Ivies.

# ? May 29, 2023 18:01

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

kimbo305 posted:

Harvard full tuition this year is 57k, and that's middle of the road among Ivies.

Harvard's cost of attendance is $79,450. You have to live somewhere and eat, too. If Harvard gives you a $45,000 grant... you're still $35,000 out of pocket.

This is what a family with a $150k AGI with $225k in investments (including retirement investments) would pay for someone to attend Harvard:

Sure, they're not poor, but they're definitely not multimillionares. And yea, cutting a check for $16k every year is out of the reach of a lot of families.

Upgrade fucked around with this message at 18:18 on May 29, 2023

# ? May 29, 2023 18:12

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Upgrade posted:

Harvard's cost of attendance is $79,450. You have to live somewhere and eat, too. If Harvard gives you a $45,000 grant... you're still $35,000 out of pocket.

Sure, but I'm not sure where the 45k number from?

# ? May 29, 2023 19:06

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

kimbo305 posted:

Sure, but I'm not sure where the 45k number from?

Need based aid is on a sliding scale from �everything� to �nothing� and nothing isn�t �you are a millionaire�, which is what the original post I was responding was saying - the only people who pay out of pocket for an Ivy League education have a multimillion dollar investment portfolio.

# ? May 29, 2023 19:20

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Student Loans are generally not worth it but a Harvard Degree or any Ivy above Cornell really is abso-loving-lutely worth whatever loan shark interest rates they give you.

# ? May 29, 2023 19:25

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Student Loans are generally not worth it but a Harvard Degree or any Ivy above Cornell really is abso-loving-lutely worth whatever loan shark interest rates they give you.

Student loans from the government have great rates, but the amount you can borrow gets capped pretty low

after that you can either go to a bank and it�s a loan shark rate, or you do a parent plus loan� which is from the government but relies on your credit

student loans are never great but private student loans are an entirely different level of bad (and even persist after your death in some cases!)

# ? May 29, 2023 19:28

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Doc Hawkins posted:

she definitely belongs in a daycare

I�m wondering if she isn�t getting fired due to being on the spectrum. I had a (terrible) coworker years ago that was on the spectrum. Anytime she talked, it was loud. The terrible part was because she spouted Fox News propaganda any time she opened her mouth. The job was low paid clerical work in Texas, so all of her rants regarding �illegals� was not just gross but possibly terrifying to a large portion of our staff, many of which were not yet naturalized and probably had family members who were here illegally, being paid under minimum wage for dangerous jobs. It did not matter how many times management spoke to her about her subject matter and volume.

Honestly, the only thing that I remember coming out of her mouth that was not hateful was when she mentioned that she was put in a group home for violent youths when she was a kid because in the 60�s, they (parents/medical professionals) had no clue what to do with high functioning autistic kids since they didn�t know as much about autism as they do now.

# ? May 29, 2023 19:30

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

MagusofStars posted:

Lol. The whole point of driving in shifts is that the other person can nap while you're driving, then they're in good shape to swap drivers. Wife was 100% right to say he's a toddler. Just put on a drat podcast or audiobook if you need entertainment.

No, see, they put him to sleep, he needs to inconvenience another human!

Bored posted:

I�m wondering if she isn�t getting fired due to being on the spectrum. I had a (terrible) coworker years ago that was on the spectrum. Anytime she talked, it was loud. The terrible part was because she spouted Fox News propaganda any time she opened her mouth. The job was low paid clerical work in Texas, so all of her rants regarding �illegals� was not just gross but possibly terrifying to a large portion of our staff, many of which were not yet naturalized and probably had family members who were here illegally, being paid under minimum wage for dangerous jobs. It did not matter how many times management spoke to her about her subject matter and volume.

Honestly, the only thing that I remember coming out of her mouth that was not hateful was when she mentioned that she was put in a group home for violent youths when she was a kid because in the 60�s, they (parents/medical professionals) had no clue what to do with high functioning autistic kids since they didn�t know as much about autism as they do now.

They admit that she isn't being fired because they are afraid of losing any human body in her position. They're already understaffed.

# ? May 29, 2023 19:59

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for telling my in-laws they can�t piggyback our baby�s baptism and after party with another grandchild�s baptism ?

quote:

Aita for being mad my husband�s family is trying to piggyback our baby�s baptism and after party with another grandchild�s baptism ?

So we have a newborn and scheduled a baptism the next month or so.

My husbands parents have another grand child who is not baptized and going on 3 years old. After telling them to save the day they have been telling us they want to get the 3 year old baptized on the same day now. WTF is my initial reaction. My brother in law had 3 years to baptize this kid why all of A sudden do we need to pay for his piggy back and host his kid too. I find it pretty rude. They are a step away from asking us to put his name on the invite as well. Not going to lie I�m pretty ticked that they always have to piggy back on our events. Why can�t they do their own thing?

Mind you WE are paying for this and the after party food and drink with both sides of our family and friends. Not my in laws. My husband is always trying to please his parents and this is no different and brought up the topic a second maybe third time now after I shut it down once already.

His parents are always pushing the boundary. For example, They insisted this child came to our wedding as a year old a couple years back so they could take the opportunity at our event to show him to all the family (local mind you) that hasn�t met him because they didn�t take initiative the whole year. We said �no children� across the board and they made a huge fuss about it. I gave in only for brother in law to come in the MIDDLE of church and then never show to the reception because they �couldn�t figure out where to go� that cost us $150 per seat.

They never came to our baby shower or gender reveal either after rsvp�ing yes.

This brother, his wife and his son never come to any family events like Christmas, thanksgiving, Easter unless they are getting something out of his parents and that�s the bargaining chip. Currently getting baptized is the bargaining chip for staying in the in-laws rental and it�s even better they can piggy back on ours. They have skipped out on rent and trashed other family members rentals in the past. So not exactly responsible nor organized.

So with all this back info :

Am I the rear end in a top hat for holding my ground and telling them to no to piggy backing on our event we are paying for?

Why I might be the AH: Not cutting them a break, �what�s the big deal?� I could show more compassion.

AITA for telling my mom that my brother didn't invite my son over for a slumber party?

quote:

I have a 10yo son "Julian" who is pretty close with my nephew/his cousin " Parker." You can't separate them when they ate together. I live two blocks away from my brother, his wife and Parker.

I asked my brother on Friday if Parker wanted Julian to spend the weekend at his house since it was a long weekend. My brother said they had already made plans. I asked what plans and maybe Parker would like to have Julius to tag along so he has a playmate. He said it was something for his wife.

On Saturday I found out that my brother lied. Parker actually had a slumber party. I found out because I saw them all walking to Dennys yesterday morning. I called my brother out and he said he didn't want my son to feel left out so he lied. He said it didn't feel "right" to have an innocent 10yo around a bunch of 12yo boys because they'd "eat him alive."

I said that was bullshit and he needs to text Julius right now and ask if he'd like to join this weekend slumber party because he'll be crushed if he finds out that he was left out. He said no.

So I ended up calling our mom who lives with my brother and explained the situation. That caused a lot of drama between her and my brother and my SIL. But my son got invited and declined because he is holding out to go to the aquarium.

My brother was livid and I said that if he had asked in the first place then none of this wouldn't had happen and there would be no drama.

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 20:15 on May 29, 2023

# ? May 29, 2023 20:04

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Pretty good burn:

AITA for making a joke about my GF's Mum being lazy?

quote:

Hi everyone, I (35M) live with my GF (31F) and her parents (65M and 64F) in a house that my GF was apparently strongarmed into buying (I wasn't there so don't want to make too many judgements on this) by her parents 3 years ago when their business went south and they were worried they wouldn't have anywhere to live

At the time she bought the house my GF and I were looking at moving in together anyway (we were both renting separately) and she said she realised it wasn't ideal for me to live with her parents so she'd be happy for us to rent somewhere else to live, but the mortgage on the new house was the top of what she could afford so I'd have to pay for the whole rental. To get a rental she liked would have meant me spending 3x what I was used to paying, so I said no and moved in to her house

I work full time and pay what full market rent would be for a room in her house. Her parents haven't worked since moving in, apart from about a brief time where one of my GF's friends got her Mum a job in a supermarket, which she quit after about 4 weeks because apparently the manager was abusive (again I wasn't there so not going to judge). I see her Dad apply for jobs and get rejected (I assume because of his age), but her Mum doesn't do anything from what I can see

They do very little around the house in terms of cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm not saying they should, but if I lived somewhere rent free somewhere my daughter paid for, she wouldn't have to lift a finger around the house. Maybe that's just me

I sympathise with her Dad - it's clear he hates being unemployed, so I spoke to them about starting a mobile business for them. I made a quick website, no startup cost other than hosting and insurance, which I paid, and it's starting to take off. Her Dad is working hard in the business, her Mum has refused to help in any way

Yesterday my GF made a throwaway comment about how she hopes she has her Mum's figure when she's that age, and how her Mum has the arse of a 21 year old. I said I couldn't comment as she's not been off it for 3 years, so I can't remember what it looks like

My GF is now upset with me and says I should be more respectful about her Mum. I feel I put up with a lot. It's not easy to be 35M and live with your in-laws for 3yrs. I'm polite to them every time I see them, and I think I'm entitled to the emotional release of the odd joke about it here and there. AITA?

# ? May 29, 2023 20:35

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend that his dreams of becoming a successful streamer/content creator isn't going to work out the way he thinks?

i want a break from the relationship that's paying for my food and shelter

how good is this dude at loving?

hes also doing the thing sucessful streamers say not to do if you want to make a career in streaming.

# ? May 29, 2023 20:53

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

snergle posted:

how good is this dude at loving?

hes also doing the thing sucessful streamers say not to do if you want to make a career in streaming.

Maybe he is a giant vibrating dildo. Maybe that's why his view count is so low. It's going to get boring watching a dildo just sit there all day

# ? May 29, 2023 21:00

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Runcible Cat posted:

Pretty good burn:

AITA for making a joke about my GF's Mum being lazy?
Yesterday my GF made a throwaway comment about how she hopes she has her Mum's figure when she's that age, and how her Mum has the arse of a 21 year old. I said I couldn't comment as she's not been off it for 3 years, so I can't remember what it looks like

# ? May 29, 2023 21:30

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Runcible Cat posted:

Pretty good burn:

AITA for making a joke about my GF's Mum being lazy?

My mother in law came to live with is for a few weeks which turned into a few months. After that time, my GF and I were at each other's throat and basically broke up one evening. We talked a bit and realized her mother had been there way too long and we sent her back to her other son's house. 2 years later and we're doin' OK.

It sucks living with lovely inlaws.

# ? May 29, 2023 21:34

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Tarkus posted:

My mother in law came to live with is for a few weeks which turned into a few months. After that time, my GF and I were at each other's throat and basically broke up one evening. We talked a bit and realized her mother had been there way too long and we sent her back to her other son's house. 2 years later and we're doin' OK.

It sucks living with lovely inlaws.

Yeah especially if you're on different pages regarding the inlaw. Like if the couple is a team united in surviving the terrible situation that's one thing. But it's a situation where one side refuses to hear any criticism towards mommy dearest who you should work harder to make feel welcome, it can really create a wedge.

# ? May 29, 2023 21:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

You are cordially invited (*opens card*) to travel out of town and work your day job for free at a family party while everyone else is enjoying themselves and having fun.

AITA for opting out of my cousin wedding when they expected me to play videographer for free?

quote:

I went to school for film and have a job doing nature videos and stock videos for advertisements.

This week I was going to my cousin James wedding on Wednesday afternoon. I RSVP months ago. I left all of my equipment at home because of its my vacation so why lug it around with me. I get to my grandma�s house on Friday and she�s shocked that I didn�t bring any cameras or anything. She tells me I�m supposed to record my cousin�s wedding for him. She volunteered me. I politely declined saying it was a party I was invited to as a guest. My cousin and family members can�t believe I forgot my equipment at home. My mom already told them I wasn�t doing it and it was rude to expect it from me for free. This whole conversation happened without my knowledge. My cousin said I could rent the equipment myself at my own expense as a gift. I declined again and I have a family member saying I could use their newest iPhone because the specs are better than most professional cameras these days (not exactly true but ok) I tried explaining again that I wanted to be present as guest for my cousin at the wedding. This morning my mom and I was disinvited from the bbq and wedding unless I record the wedding for my cousin. My grandma gave me until tonight to find a hotel room and I�m being difficult because videographer are expensive. I was supposed to help my cousin save money and now he�s scrambling at the last minute because his bride is angry at our whole side of the family because I�m selfish. It�s making the whole family look bad.

# ? May 29, 2023 22:14

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Wow, the grandma and cousin sound utterly dreadful.

# ? May 29, 2023 22:22

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Lol, if they thought videographers were expensive months ago they�re gonna have a stroke when they find out how expensive they are for last-minute bookings, especially for weddings

# ? May 29, 2023 22:32

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Wedding videographers are so bad with money. It's like fireworks or concert videos, except way more expensive.

# ? May 29, 2023 22:41

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Grandma should just strap the phone to her head and do the videography herself.

# ? May 29, 2023 22:42

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

loving lol at �You can use my iPhone� You use your iPhone.

# ? May 29, 2023 22:49

John Murdoch: May 19, 2009; I can tune a fish.

wheatpuppy posted:

For many years I thought raw carrots were spicy. I like spice, so I added them to my food to jazz it up a little. Turns out I am just kinda allergic to raw carrots.

I've got the same thing but with celery. It's fun to bring it up to a group of people because you'll get some going "yeah of course celery is spicy" and everyone else goes "wtf are you talking about?" .

kimbo305 posted:

Yeah, that was the critique I was giving.
I personally find the heartburn potential of raw garlic much more serious than the mouth heat.

Tbh now I'm wondering if there are people out there that directly equate heartburn with spice.

# ? May 29, 2023 22:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

A cunning ruse comes undone!

AITA For Pursuing Charges Against Stolen Narcotics?

quote:

So, i will keep this as simple as possible-

I got surgery about a month ago and was prescribed Oxycodone in addition to a few other meds for my recovery. I never opened or took off the seal of the Oxy because i was able to manage my pain without it.

Fast forward to now, my wife and I left for 2 days on a short vacation. We came home and noticed that the place I hid my meds was messed with, and my Oxy was missing.

Our pet sitter (wifes friendly coworker) was the only person with access to the house, and we have ring camera footage that she spent much longer in the house than she was supposed to, even going upstairs when that was not needed. We have a feeling she searched our house for my drugs because she knew I recently had surgery. Eventually she obviously found it and took it.

So we confront her over the phone about it and she seems very off, and then eventually we threatened to file a police report and she then got VERY apologetic. We told her that we would not file anything and drop the situation if she returned our house key, and my prescription UNOPENED. After an hour of waiting, she turns up and begs to talk to us but we just asked she place it on the porch.

We open the bag she put it in and the pills were in a random OTC bottle of Zantac or something. It wasnt my prescription bottle and pills were missing. So we contacted police and turns out she admits to stealing, consuming 2-3 of the Oxy, and then admits to having drug abuse problems.

The cops asked if we wanted to �press charges� and we had a very hard time deciding but ultimately we said yes.. and thats my question. Are we assholes for pushing this to prosecution? We just want her to get help and be held accountable. We don�t want her to sit in prison for a long time though.

That's almost as good as the dumb boyfriend who tried to pass off a broken VCR as a top-end laptop computer, and couldn't figure out how his girlfriend kept seeing through his clever deceptions.

# ? May 29, 2023 23:00

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

The Maroon Hawk posted:

[32m] My wife [33f] will not shut up, and I'm not sure I can take it that much longer. Is it possible for that to be a reason to leave?

OP whines that his wife talks too much, proceeds to write a goddamn novel about it.

# ? May 29, 2023 23:08

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

OP whines that his wife talks too much, proceeds to write a goddamn novel about it.

well he doesn't get to say much at home

# ? May 29, 2023 23:09

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for telling my brother it was a dumb decision to invite his new gf over for our nephews birthday and I understand why our BIL uninvited him?

quote:

My (20M) brother Ron (27M) met his late gf Linda when they were 16 and they started dating shortly after. To say the family adored her would be an understatement. Linda was beautiful, smart and had an amazing sense of humor.

She�s been part of the family for so long that most of us don�t remember a time without her. Most of our best memories have her in them.

Linda was very close to my nephew Drew (6M). Drew is disabled and autistic, so he has a hard time connecting to other people. I don�t know how to describe the relationship between Drew and Linda, they just sort of clicked, from the moment he was born she was his best friend and would often watch over him.

Sadly Linda passed away at the end of January after she was hit by a drunk driver. The entire family was devastated and we are still mourning her.

Drew took it especially hard since he doesn�t really grasp what death means yet. He constantly asks where Linda is and when she�ll be coming back, sometimes going as far as having full blown meltdowns because he misses her so much. He is currently attending therapy to learn how to process his grief but it�s a slow progress.

Drew�s birthday is in 2 weeks, and my sister and BIL sent out invitations to everyone in the family asking who can come. Birthdays are a big deal in our family and are usually an over the top event with catering so it�s necessary to confirm the number of guests.

Apparently Ron wrote that he�ll come with Gia, a new girlfriend he is hoping to introduce to the family.

Most of the family is pissed at him for moving on so quickly. I personally think it�s none of my business and I�m not going to tell him what to do or how to live his life, however bringing a new partner over to his nephews birthday when he knows how said nephew was so attached to his ex and is still mourning her, is idiotic at best and cruel at worst.

BIL told Ron that if he�s planning on bringing that girl over for Drew�s birthday he shouldn�t bother coming at all. Ron called me to complain and I told him the same thing, he shouldn�t bring her over.

Ron called me an rear end in a top hat and a bad brother, he said that he�s finally happy again after Linda�s death and why is it so hard for us to accept that he moved on and support his relationship. I told him I�m happy to hear he�s doing well and I�m sure the family would someday love to meet the girl that makes him so happy, but I�m standing by my opinion that inviting her now was a dumb decision on his part and he chose the worst possible time and place to introduce someone new to the family.

Edit: Ron and Linda were still together when she passed away.

AITA for staying in my room for most of my sister's baby shower?

quote:

I am feeling very hurt and would like some outside perspective on a conflict that occurred yesterday. I am 28 and my sister is 30. My sister and I have been working on our relationships with our parents but we are closest to our grandparents, aunts, and uncles who practically raised us.

A childhood TBI left my husband partially deaf and unable to formulate words so he uses sign language and has a cochlear. Otherwise he functions just like any other adult. I never thought he was perceived negatively by my family until yesterday.

I planned and hosted my sister's baby shower. It was for the whole family so there were kids, husbands, everyone to love and dote on my sister and brother-in-law and their baby. During gifts, I was passing them to my sister and recording the gifters names and whatnot when our mother started asking when me and my husband were going to have kids. We've been trying for some time now but it hasn't been fruitful. I will admit I got a little flustered and just said, "when the time is right" and quickly moved on, also to make sure the focus was on my sister and her little one.

Then our own father said, "I didn't think you wanted any if they might be handicapped."

I was stunned. This was in the presence of my husband and I could tell immediately that it hurt him. I was flooded with the feeling that the children we're hoping and praying for will be looked down on. No one spoke up which made it hurt so much more. After gifts I excused myself and was just too angry to carry on. My husband made sure the rest of the event went as planned (bless him). I did compose myself when people were leaving and said goodbyes when my mother left she said I was selfish for hiding for almost the entire shower. Then my dad said it made everyone feel unwelcomed.

I feel like an AH. Maybe it was selfish and maybe people did feel unwelcomed. I also feel badly for not being able to hold it together for my sister and I worry it caused the focus to be taken off of her and her baby. I also feel terribly for not standing up for my husband. Because everything is still raw I haven't gotten to talk to either of them in depth yet. AITA?

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 23:26 on May 29, 2023

# ? May 29, 2023 23:18

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for laughing when my daughter insulted my sister?

i like this kid

lol the kids are alright

# ? May 29, 2023 23:23

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for laughing when my daughter insulted my sister?

i like this kid

Goddamn, me too. I've got some health problems that I can't really do a whole lot about, and people are always asking if I tried basic poo poo everyone already does. And guess what, it doesn't help! Vegetables and 30 minutes of exercise a day don't cure genetic disorders, hate to break it to you.

I'm just glad that when I was experiencing chronic air hunger a few years ago from an infection, people didn't say "Have you tried breathing more?"

# ? May 29, 2023 23:29

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Goddamn, me too. I've got some health problems that I can't really do a whole lot about, and people are always asking if I tried basic poo poo everyone already does. And guess what, it doesn't help! Vegetables and 30 minutes of exercise a day don't cure genetic disorders, hate to break it to you.

I'm just glad that when I was experiencing chronic air hunger a few years ago from an infection, people didn't say "Have you tried breathing more?"

Have you tried tanning your perineum? Maybe that would help. Coffee enemas, perhaps? Some of Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop?

# ? May 29, 2023 23:32

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my brother it was a dumb decision to invite his new gf over for our nephews birthday and I understand why our BIL uninvited him?

AITA for staying in my room for most of my sister's baby shower?

These are just sad.

# ? May 29, 2023 23:42

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Pretty sure we went from bleaching assholes to tanning them.

# ? May 29, 2023 23:45

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Acupuncture. Always loving acupuncture. The peak weird thing I was suggested was a mattress with magnets in it.

# ? May 29, 2023 23:48

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Acupuncture. Always loving acupuncture. The peak weird thing I was suggested was a mattress with magnets in it.

Do you put the needles on the taint, the anus, or both?

# ? May 29, 2023 23:53

Armitag3: Mar 15, 2020; Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Do you put the needles on the taint, the anus, or both?

how else you gonna unlock the third eye

# ? May 29, 2023 23:55

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# ? May 29, 2024 01:05

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Acupuncture. Always loving acupuncture. The peak weird thing I was suggested was a mattress with magnets in it.

some months ago my cat Bug got horrible lovely runs. i don't remember how much i spent at the vet, or with expensive foods, new cat litter, new litterboxes, but in the end she was trapped in my room where i had vinyl sheets everywhere for easy cleanup. at one point i even got her acupuncture because I was desperate. no, it did not work. and then one day she was over it.

AITA for telling a kid that the reason I lost my leg is because I didn't eat my vegetables?

quote:

In 2019 I got into a really bad car accident, as a result of which I ended up with an above the knee amputation of my right leg. Occasionally, especially when I'm out on crutches without my prosthesis, I get questions from strangers and curious children as to what happened to my leg. Sometimes I answer honestly, but sometimes I get tired with the same questions, reactions, and pity responses, that I make up some original or fun story as to how it happened. A few days ago I was taking a rest on a park bench when I saw that one of the kids playing nearby (he must have been about 6 or 7 years old) was acting a bit loudly and obnoxiously. At some point he unexpectedly ran up to me and loudly posed the "What happened to your leg?" question. I replied with the first thing that popped into my head which was "I didn't eat my vegetables. You should eat always your vegetables and fruits". Then I saw the kid get really scared and nervous, and he mumbled a reply "What do you mean?! If I don't eat them, I could lose my leg also?" Then, before I could even say anything back, he started to choke up and cry and ran in the direction of his parents, who were looking at me with a "wtf" expression on their faces. So, AITA for possibly traumatizing a curious kid for the rest of his life?

# ? May 30, 2023 00:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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