r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

quote:

Since we aren’t going to get married or anything I don’t understand why he thinks I would be okay with him living for free with his two kids. I’m happy to have romance and companionship but shared assets and finances are not something I want in life, I don’t want to support a man.

It's for the best that they broke up because she didn't particularly seem to want to live with him and his two children, and since the relationship wasn't going further she didn't want to merge finances. I personally think that's a valid point of view. Perhaps if she had liked him more she'd be down to actually support him.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 07:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 21:30

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Invisible Clergy posted:

https://hard-drive.net/hd/video-games/gaming-comedy-podcast-now-two-solid-hours-of-incomprehensible-inside-jokes/

I want to say this is probably what would happen if the Big Bang Theory ever had a podcast.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 07:19

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

Agrikk posted:

�
Only after years of operation on private funds and after proving to be a successful school (using criteria that very few public schools would pass) does the school begin to receive daily allotment based on ADM�

Do you live in a different county or a different universe? I�m in the USA on Earth-1218, the one where superheroes are fictional, even those played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in movies funded by right-wing ghouls.

Google �charter school CSP Fraud� and marvel at the private companies that got up-front federal grants to open or expand charter schools and did neither. I�m not engaging with your other claims or derailing but that statement above wow.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 07:27

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Remulak posted:

Do you live in a different county or a different universe? I�m in the USA on Earth-1218, the one where superheroes are fictional, even those played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in movies funded by right-wing ghouls.

Google �charter school CSP Fraud� and marvel at the private companies that got up-front federal grants to open or expand charter schools and did neither. I�m not engaging with your other claims or derailing but that statement above wow.

There are also a lot of public charter schools that are run by local school districts.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 08:16

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Less talk about Charter Schools, and more discussion about Farter Schools.

Flatulence education does not get the funding nor respect it deserves.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 08:30

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

BrigadierSensible posted:

Less talk about Charter Schools, and more discussion about Farter Schools.

Flatulence education does not get the funding nor respect it deserves.

Flatulent earth theory deserves equal time!

# ? Jun 2, 2023 08:50

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Clocks posted:

It's for the best that they broke up because she didn't particularly seem to want to live with him and his two children, and since the relationship wasn't going further she didn't want to merge finances. I personally think that's a valid point of view. Perhaps if she had liked him more she'd be down to actually support him.

That's how I read it, and it seems like he's pretty lukewarm on the relationship too.

Either way it's probably good they didn't move in together.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 10:50

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

A poly story that goes places:

My (25 M) girlfriends (26 F) close friend (27 M) asked us to open our relationship so he could pursue her. Now I am not comfortable with her still being around him

quote:

All names are fake

I've been with my Gf "Emily" for 4 years now. Emily has a close friend "Jeff" who I have never liked. The guy has always come off as skeevy, whiney, and creepy to me. I've heard things about him from ex-friends, and even current ones that make him just come off as pathetic and creepy. I could go on about it, but I'll cut to the chase though. The real reason I do not like Jeff is that he has always been interested in Emily. They met in middle school and he's had a crush on her since then. He's tried and failed multiple times over the years to get her to like him. Ever since I came into her life, and we started dating, he's always given me the feeling that he's orbiting waiting for us to break up to try again. He's backed off romanticly though and hasn't tried anything for the 4 years we've been together.

Jeff has been a sore topic for me and Emily. Even though I don't like him, she and her friends do. I've made it clear to her that I don't like him, but I've never interfered with her friendship with him because I've always trusted her when she tells me she feels nothing romanticly for him.

This all changed last week. Jeefs own romantic life can only be described as unusual. From what I know, mostly one-night stands and third-wheel scenarios. He's openly "poly" and I've heard far too much about it from him. Not the lifestyle for me, but whatever suits you. What got to me though, was how he would talk about it to the people in monogamous relationships in his friend group. Pitching it as if he was trying to sell them on it for other reasons.

Last week, Emily and I tagged along with her friends for an outing. We ended up at a dive late at night for drinks and Jeff tagged along with the two of us. He was incredibly offputting to me the entire night, much more than usual. Acting all buddy-buddy with me to an uncomfortable degree. As we sat and chatted, he brought up his most recent relationship from a few months back. A poly relationship where he was third-wheeling another couple. It was, very awkward. Much more so when out of nowhere he recommended we try something like that ourselves. The short of it is he asked us to open our relationship and become a "triad" with him. He knows I'm straight, so what he really meant was he wants to gently caress Emily and for me to be ok with it.

Emily declined, and I wanted to tear into the creep; however, Emily made me go to her car so she could pay for our drinks and leave knowing I was about to make a scene.

Suffice it to say, I am not comfortable with her continuing to associate with him. I've made it clear that what he did was completely disrespectful of our relationship and that I don't trust him not to do something more sinister at this point. Emily, however, disagrees. She's saying this is "Just how Jeff operates" which makes me even more uncomfortable with the situation. He's not neurotypical, and her whole friend group has used that as an excuse for so long, I'm sick of hearing it. We have been arguing non-stop about this now. She doesn't think this is enough of a reason to cut him off and I cannot understand why. Her friend group has essentially decided to stay out of it as well. I did share my thoughts with someone I know who is an ex-friend of Jeff's from high school. I also learned that Jeff has tried to break up Emily and her boyfriends before, and he thinks this is another attempt.

She was planning on going out Friday with friends to a movie, which included Jeff. We ended up having another massive argument in which I told her to not come back if she left. She's been staying at her parent's house since.

Right now, I feel like I'm living in loving bizzaro land. Every single weird thing about her and her friends now sticks out like porcupine quills. It's like I'm the only one who sees a problem with what Jeff did, and that my opinion does not matter. Emily refuses to tell me what about Jeff is so important in endearing he's worth this. It's like to her this is just normal or something. How do I even proceed at this point? It feels like I'm just being walked over. How can I convey how uncomfortable I am at this, or is it even worth it at this point?

TL:DR

My girlfriend Emily has a friend Jeff who has had a crush on her since middle school. He asked us to open the relationship so he can "date" the both of us despite me and him both being straight men. I've not tried to put any restrictions on who Emily can be friends with but now I feel completely uncomfortable with her continuing to associate with him. She, and her friends, disagree and have moved on like nothing happened.

Mystery solved, in a very depressing way:

My ex-girlfriend has been leading a neurodivergent man on for over a decade to scam money out of him, even while we were together

quote:

I wasted the last 4 years of my life with a girl we'll call Emily. I thought she was a good and honest person, boy was I wrong. Emily had a close friend named Jeff. I never understood it. Jeff is a creepy and pathetic man who has orbited her since middle school. He's neurodivergent, at least that's what their friend group has used as an excuse for his actions. He's always had a crush on Emily. According to ex-friends, he's tried his hardest to get her to like him since they met. Emily does not like Jeff any more than a friend. Even then, the way she talks about him to me makes me feel she's completely disgusted by him physically. Along with her "honesty," it made me never question their friendship, even if Jeff was obviously orbiting waiting for us to break up.

A few weeks ago Jeff asked us to try out polyamoury so he could have sex with Emily. I was furious. I wanted to put him in his place, but Emily stopped me. She seemed to have no problem with him asking, even though she turned him down. Her whole friend group acted like this was just a normal thing to ask. That me upset and mad that he would dare disrespect our relationship like that was wrong. It was a "me" problem.

There are things that should have clued me into the fact that her friend group was a circus. I just ignored it, however. After the polyamory incident, I couldn't though. The things that ex-friends told me about Jeff and Emily made me ask questions and start digging. I ended up contacting one of Emily's ex and learned something very interesting. In high school, Jeff was giving Emily hundreds of dollars he was stealing from his parents.

I and Emily had been arguing constantly after Jeff asked the question. She had been staying with her parents for a time while things cooled off. Once she showed back up at our place this week I decided to confront her and asked if Jeff was giving her money. She denied it at first, but I told her if she does not tell me the truth I will forward many of the texts she sent me commenting about Jeff's body and face to Jeff himself.

Jeff has been giving money to Emily since they met. For the entire 4 years we were together he was sending her sometimes hundreds of dollars each month. Her texts with him are flirty in nature. While not outright saying she's interested in him, she's heavily implied it. Acting like it's just "not the right time" for her to be with him.

She has reaffirmed to me that she's not interested in him, in fact, she's implied she actually hates his guts. I asked if her friends are also taking money from Jeff, and she said she did not know.

I packed my poo poo up yesterday and am staying with my brother till I find a new place. I blocked Emily. I sent Jeff a text simply showing him how Emily talked about him to me. I'm 99% sure Jeff is stealing from his parents still as he lives with them. I found his parent's numbers and texted them letting them know what's happing.

Moving on from 4 wasted years is going to be tough.....

# ? Jun 2, 2023 12:04

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

WaywardWoodwose posted:

Hey i get it, I think they should break up too, but it still feels mean as poo poo to say things like that in a relationship with the kind of power imbalance like one person making four times as much as the other.

Yeah, her edit about �I listened to you all and broke up with him. He�s just a deadbeat loser who wanted my money, get hosed!� was really gross. Dude is clearly a struggling dad trying to make ends meet and she�s insanely privileged and treated him as a disposable novelty that she could toss away as soon as she got bored. It�s true that she doesn�t have to let him live there for free and even as unfair as it was it still would�ve been to his advantage to live there and pay what she asked, but her response to the situation is ugly as gently caress

# ? Jun 2, 2023 12:06

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Kit Walker posted:

Yeah, her edit about “I listened to you all and broke up with him. He’s just a deadbeat loser who wanted my money, get hosed!” was really gross. Dude is clearly a struggling dad trying to make ends meet and she’s insanely privileged and treated him as a disposable novelty that she could toss away as soon as she got bored. It’s true that she doesn’t have to let him live there for free and even as unfair as it was it still would’ve been to his advantage to live there and pay what she asked, but her response to the situation is ugly as gently caress

Everyone can suck in a situation. That guy was an idiot for thinking he should get to live for free (along with his family!) and she sucks for tossing him aside when he was extremely vulnerable.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 12:41

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It's one of those last-minute power trips like the teacher scolding the kid at graduation because his little brother wandered up on the stage. Can't let them leave with a smile on their face, don't they know the world is a giant ball of flaming poo poo?

This vid makes me happy. Petty tyrant mofos

https://twitter.com/deep_dab/status/1662901598010351620/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1662901598010351620&currentTweetUser=deep_dab

# ? Jun 2, 2023 12:41

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for telling people my dad "died"?

quote:

My(23F) father(48M) and I had a wonderful relationship while I was growing up.

Around the time I turn 15/16 he checked out completely. My mom continues him about cheating and he admitted to several. They end up separating over the summer, and we move halfway across the country right before Christmas. He falls off the face of the earth until the day we are moving out completely. He shows up to grab some things, hugs and says goodbye. I never hear anything from him after that.

I did try to reach out to him a few times during my senior year. I would get inconsistent replies and few times downright evil responses, which I later found out were his now wife at the time. My father promised he would be at graduation, asked for the information and I even promised to give him a ticket. My school only gave out ten.

A week before graduation I find out through social media that he isn't coming. The wife posts a photo of plane tickets saying they were going to some resort in Mexico for two weeks. I lose it. I'm inconsolable for almost an hour. When I finally come down, I delete him and the wife, block them. He tries to reach out via text hours after I graduate to say he's proud of me and happy that I graduated and that he loves me. I don't even respond.

Over the next few years he gets married to evil stepmother, they have a child together(in one of the sparse phone calls I got from them she casually drops that she's pregnant and the baby is due in a few weeks) that I never meet, he rekindling the relationship with his father- a man I never met because he abandoned my father after he was born and made a new family. He also almost died in a car accident but I didn't find out until my PG calls to ask me to call and check on him because of it.

At some point in my early 20's I just decide that the man I knew as my dad died. The man I knew wouldn't do or fathom half of the things , this man has done. This person now looks and sounds like my father but he isn't my dad. Starting that day forward whenever people ask I just say that my dad died. If people ask for information I dont mind explaining a quick summary of this, but most people leave it alone.

My paternal grandmother must've overheard me talking to a friend or something and asked me why I say that my dad died. I explained it to her and while it hurt she understood. Somehow though, this got back to wife and father who have been calling and texting me incessantly to tell me I'm a brat and ungrateful for everything they've done for me and that I shouldn't be saying that because he tried to parent as best he could. They said I'm trying to turn his mom(paternal grandmother) against them and that I need to call to apologize.

I don't feel I'm completely the AH here, but I do feel a little guilty that my grandmother has started to see my father and wife differently and I don't want it to affect her relationship with my half sister.

AITA?

Good, get wrecked.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 12:55

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Goes to podium, collects scroll, starts to dab, gets chokeslammed by ten perfect cops.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 13:27

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

keep punching joe posted:

Goes to podium, collects scroll, starts to dab, gets chokeslammed by ten perfect cops.

The graduate was subject to an officer involved chokeslamming. The police department also regrets that somehow four K9 officers got shot, but thankfully the event remained dab free.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 13:36

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

One from BORU. Posting it more for the circumstances than the conflict; I didn't know Indian Railways did that and it's pretty cool:

AITA for calling my roommate's family a bunch of misogynists and asking her to move out?

quote:

RM = roommate in this post

Throwaway because RM knows about my main.

I (26F) am an Assistant Loco Pilot. A train driver in layman's terms. If you haven't already guessed, it's an extremely male dominated position, with women not being recruited for the job until around 20 years ago. It wasn't my dream job. It was my father's job that I was offered by the railways after his accident in the line of duty and I had to take over for my family as the breadwinner.

On to the point. I live in a city away from home so I rent a flat with a younger woman who is studying. She studies for late hours so she doesn't have a problem with my crazy schedules as I have a ton of night duties that don't follow any shift system. I do pay more rent because shes a student and I sort of inconvenience her with my schedule. However, recently after her family visited her and went back, she started being cold towards me. When I confronted her about it, she said her mother didn't like the way I behave and that I'm practically a man.

The way I 'behave' is wear a shirt and trousers pair (that's the uniform for it, in case it wasn't clear) to work and work on small electric projects during leisure time. That's something my father and I used to do when I was younger and it's a memory I hold of him. According to my RM's mom, having such a job, dressing up like a man, working on 'man stuff' her words, not mine, practically makes me a man and that my RM should be vary of me, and the next thing I might start doing is drinking until late and having rowdy alcohol parties with my work buddies at the flat we share.

Even if it isn't my dream job, I take it seriously because I have two younger siblings, my mum and my grandparents to support. It's not obvious but the job gives a lot of physical and mental stress. I said if that's the problem for her, maybe RM should be moving out of the flat to make her misogynistic family happy. The only reason we got the flat to rent is because I'm a government employee and I pay more share of the rent in compensation for the inconveniences. My RM then called me an AH and other profanities because she can't find a place so soon as she's a student and it's unfair of me to ask her to move out because of her 'old fashioned' family.

TL;DR Roommate's family called me too masculine and told her to be vary of me, so I asked her to move out.

EDIT for INFO since I saw a couple questions: I work in the Indian Railways. The Indian Railways is a central government organisation. It has a scheme for the employees to offer their spouses a pension or offer their eldest child a job when the employee dies before their retirement or gets unfit to work. In case of the eldest child taking the job, if the child is an adult, they are given training immediately while being paid a stipend. If the child isn't an adult, the spouse is given a pension until the child gets old enough to take on the job.

Relevant Comments:

quote:

For those confused about how OOP took over her dad's job:

"It's not hereditary but there's a thing the department of railways does. If the worker gets unfit for working and/or passes away while in duty, the family is given an option. We can either take the widow's pension scheme or the eldest child can get the job. Since the widow's pension scheme doesn't offer enough money to support the whole family (two younger siblings who are still in school and sick grandparents who need intensive care), I decided to take the job. I had to drop my studies and take the training with stipend for the job."

Update Post: May 26, 2023 (1 week later)

quote:

I've read the comments on my post, and while most were supportive, thank you all for that, I've seen some suggest my RM possibly having problems within her family. I have to admit, I haven't given a thought in that direction. I'm privileged enough to come from a family that doesn't believe in gender norms, so my mind didn't go in that direction. Also some of you suggested RM's father could have been abusive towards her mother or her. Considering all that, I decided to have a talk with her.

Thankfully, her father isn't an alcoholic or abusive, but it became very apparent to me that her parents, especially her mother, is extremely controlling. If anyone doesn't know, breaking out of a mother's control, especially as a daughter, is very difficult. When I sat her down and talked with her, she apologized for the profanities and behaving the way she did. As it happens, her mother all but warned her to not get close to me, because of which she stopped interacting with me completely.

I told her I understand, and that I was there for her. I told her that I would have understood if she told me what happened. She replied by saying that she didn't really know what to do or what to say to me or to her mother. While I said we've resolved this and she really doesn't have to move out, she said she thinks that her moving out is actually a good idea, because she feels she'd piss her mother off more if she continues to share with me.

Meanwhile since a couple of people suggested that I move to the Railway Quarters, I looked into that. I plan on shifting my mother and my grandparents here because it would be easier for my mother if she stays with me, since one of my younger siblings is already staying in their university's hostel and the other would be leaving for their university in August/September. I definitely cannot house my mother and grandparents in the current flat. One of my dad's old friends who still works with me kindly agreed to look into it and see if he can speed up the process due to his connections.

I told my RM if the processing and paperwork goes through, I will move into the Quarters in September, and since their new semester starts in September, she can find a new roommate who is more "acceptable" to her parents and keep the place. I also told her that if she decides to stand up to her mother, I will be by her side and support her, no questions asked.

PS: People from other countries, please don't start saying that me getting my dad's old job is fake or my culture is unfortunate because it expects me to take care of my family. Every country operates differently, and due to different societal situations, we have laws and policies that might seem strange to you. And every culture has different ways of doing things, and I think this is one of the very nice things about mine. I would have taken care of my parents and grandparents anyway, even if my father hadn't been in the accident and lived to see his retirement.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 13:39

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Runcible Cat posted:

One from BORU. Posting it more for the circumstances than the conflict; I didn't know Indian Railways did that and it's pretty cool:

AITA for calling my roommate's family a bunch of misogynists and asking her to move out?

Relevant Comments:

Update Post: May 26, 2023 (1 week later)

Why do even bother calling fake on things like being offered a position on their dad's death? Yeah it's a weird detail but also it doesn't really pertain to the story, it's not like the story falls apart without this one random fact.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 14:34

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

It's not too far from how you can join a carpenter's union or lucrative municipal job that here in the States

# ? Jun 2, 2023 14:48

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

Here's like the opposite end of an OP being taken advantage of when it comes to mortgages:

WIBTA if I don’t co-sign a mortgage loan with my sister?

quote:

Hello all, first time writer and a long time reader. I’m on mobile and flustered so sorry I’m advance. I (26f) need some thoughts on a situation going on between my parents, older sister (28f), her fiancé (28m) and I.

At the moment my parents and sis are trying to convince me to cosign on a 4br 3 bath house loan of 500,000+ at 5.25% interest with my older sibling. I still live and pay rent to my parents because they host my 4 disabled cousins and need help. Due to my inability to realistically live alone with my current pay, I comply to most things until this mortgage loan crossing the line. Here’s the deal:

1. I “have” to sign on this loan with my older sister, but she doesn’t feel comfortable living with me there at the home. Currently, she lives in an apartment and has a fiancé that is unemployed and paying half of the down payment/rent. However, he’s not taking on the loan. He is fine with me living there, it’s only her. My sis knows the living situation w/ parents is not good hence why she moved out. Now she’s not helping me in a time of need but I am obligated to help her with a loan I cannot access the property to (???)

2. Both of my parents are in huge debt because they “own” two homes and two brand new cars that are not paid off hence why they cannot co-sign themselves. Their debt to income ratio makes it so that I am the only person in the family currently that has a steady income and good credit score for this to work out. They said if I don’t cosign within three days, my rent is raised to use that money to pay for my sis. Also, they deem me to be a terrible daughter, ungrateful, and selfish if I don’t. They claim this can set my sis and I up but they don’t even have the money to set themselves up at their mid 50’s.

3. I am only currently paying off a 14k auto loan over 4yrs and am consistent in paying. They believe I am not doing enough with the money I make and it’s not going anywhere therefore it’s their’s to use. They see my free time at something for them to access, not free of mine to use.

4. My parents and sis believe that I will get a return on this loan cosigning in the future. They said I have to wait my turn and see how the housing market changes. Their intention is that they will help me out in the future on a house loan, but I have my doubts based upon previous track record ( the car they coerced me to buy and now I have a 14k loan to pay)

I personally do not want to sign with this loan, but am backed up into a corner. If I don’t sign the loan, I am forever banished from family ties so I will have to start from scratch. If I do sign the loan, I now have to hope and pray payments are made on time and hope that I can eventually benefit and have them cosign on a house for me in the future. I hate being taken advantage of.

AITA?

# ? Jun 2, 2023 14:50

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

trickybiscuits posted:

D'Angelo Wallace did a video on Andrew Tate about a month ago and the part where he puts together numerous bits of video of Tate and his shiny bald head announcing that he's not emotional while visibly holding back hysterics is a thing of beauty.

Thanks for the heads up on that video. Forgot Wallace had come back. And that was a hell of a video.

Also, finding out that Tate's big break was being a contestant on the UK's version of Big Brother puts loving everything into perspective. He's the male version of Katie Hopkins.

Link for the curious with time to spare:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIHHv5eQmwE

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 14:57 on Jun 2, 2023

# ? Jun 2, 2023 14:53

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Remulak posted:

Do you live in a different county or a different universe? I�m in the USA on Earth-1218, the one where superheroes are fictional, even those played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in movies funded by right-wing ghouls.

Google �charter school CSP Fraud� and marvel at the private companies that got up-front federal grants to open or expand charter schools and did neither. I�m not engaging with your other claims or derailing but that statement above wow.

Yes, I live on earth,in the USA, on the west coast where public charter schools are regulated and audited on the regular. I am adjacent to dozens of people who work in this space who bust their asses every day for organizations that give children the education that can and does get kids into colleges who wouldn�t have otherwise had that opportunity.

I�m not saying that these frauds didn�t happen but I am saying that your �all charter schools steal public education funds� stance is uninformed and does a great injustice to all of the people working to make a difference.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 14:55

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Shageletic posted:

It's not too far from how you can join a carpenter's union or lucrative municipal job that here in the States

Yeah it�s kind of an antiquated but hard-fought labor protection from the bad old days. Not surprised it�s tied to a national railway, even in India. In this case the policy protected the standard of living of an entire family who depended on the salary of someone who died doing the job. Plus put a chink in the institutional misogyny of the workplace and expanded the horizons slightly of a roommate who�s mother has controlled her access to the world until recently. All in all I�d say the policy is working great.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 14:57

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Also, finding out that Tate's big break was being a contestant on the UK's version of Big Brother puts loving everything into perspective. He's the male version of Katie Hopkins.

Mother FUCKER, i did not realize she was just a fuckin� reality tv contestant

# ? Jun 2, 2023 15:07

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

The Bramble posted:

Yeah it�s kind of an antiquated but hard-fought labor protection from the bad old days. Not surprised it�s tied to a national railway, even in India. In this case the policy protected the standard of living of an entire family who depended on the salary of someone who died doing the job. Plus put a chink in the institutional misogyny of the workplace and expanded the horizons slightly of a roommate who�s mother has controlled her access to the world until recently. All in all I�d say the policy is working great.

Yeah seems more fair and equitable than how ppl get jobs in the private sphere.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 15:08

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

Clocks posted:

Here's like the opposite end of an OP being taken advantage of when it comes to mortgages:

WIBTA if I don’t co-sign a mortgage loan with my sister?

Where the gently caress are they getting those kinds of interest rates without an absurd downpayment?

# ? Jun 2, 2023 15:10

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

Kit Walker posted:

Yeah, her edit about �I listened to you all and broke up with him. He�s just a deadbeat loser who wanted my money, get hosed!� was really gross. Dude is clearly a struggling dad trying to make ends meet and she�s insanely privileged and treated him as a disposable novelty that she could toss away as soon as she got bored. It�s true that she doesn�t have to let him live there for free and even as unfair as it was it still would�ve been to his advantage to live there and pay what she asked, but her response to the situation is ugly as gently caress

30 year old father of two berates significantly younger girlfriend and demands she pay his living expenses while he contributes nothing to the relationship. �Wow this girl is a brokebrain landlord, super gross, ugly as gently caress� the thread says.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 15:25

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Coca Koala posted:

30 year old father of two berates significantly younger girlfriend and demands she pay his living expenses while he contributes nothing to the relationship. “Wow this girl is a brokebrain landlord, super gross, ugly as gently caress” the thread says.

You don't understand, she makes more money than him so she's obligated to let him and his horde of children live with her rent free.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 15:39

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Coca Koala posted:

30 year old father of two berates significantly younger girlfriend and demands she pay his living expenses while he contributes nothing to the relationship. �Wow this girl is a brokebrain landlord, super gross, ugly as gently caress� the thread says.

It's, uh, pretty normal to support a romantic partner when there's a large income disparity. Her mortgage was low enough that half of the utilities & groceries might very well be a proportionate share of the household expenses for him, although the debate between proportionate vs. equal expenses is a proven relationship killer. But putting more than half of the household expenses on the partner who earns 1/4 as much while the higher-earning partner earns 100% of the home equity is not fair or equitable in any sense.

Her resistance to the idea of not turning him into positive cashflow speaks to her viewing him more as an asset to be exploited than as a partner. And to some extent, yeah, it sounds like he's not much of a partner so she can hardly be blamed for not viewing him as one. I dunno, I just feel like the appropriate reaction to that is "wow, I should stop dating this loser" instead of "I should continue dating this loser so he can help pay off my very affordable mortgage."

# ? Jun 2, 2023 15:59

odiv: Jan 12, 2003

Take out a new mortgage on the home and invest that money, now you have a mortage that you can charge this guy half of! Why am I the only one who thought of this?

Follow me for more life hacks.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:05

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Agrikk posted:

Yes, I live on earth,in the USA, on the west coast where public charter schools are regulated and audited on the regular. I am adjacent to dozens of people who work in this space who bust their asses every day for organizations that give children the education that can and does get kids into colleges who wouldn�t have otherwise had that opportunity.

I�m not saying that these frauds didn�t happen but I am saying that your �all charter schools steal public education funds� stance is uninformed and does a great injustice to all of the people working to make a difference.

Charter schools that take public funding take funds out of public education, that's just tautological. That's not to say people working there can't have good intentions, but even in the best case scenario it splinters public funding to school systems and leaves less resources to the students who are left behind from the charter system. As a bonus to profit margins, disabled kids are often left behind by charter schools since they tend to have less legal obligations there.

And even if individual charter schools can do good things, charter schools as a whole in the US are tied into the "school choice" political effort that's transparently about getting money out of public systems and into the pockets of business owners and churches. Anybody advocating charters should be under careful scrutiny as any stated education advocacy is often disingenuous.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:06

Walh Hara: May 11, 2012

the holy poopacy posted:

Her resistance to the idea of not turning him into positive cashflow speaks to her viewing him more as an asset to be exploited than as a partner.

This is a huge leap and not my impression from how she describes it. 700$/month is in no way exploitative, instead it's clearly a much much better deal than he can get elsewhere. It also would be different if he was alone, but you seem to forget his kids.

You probably wouldn't have reacted this way if her mortgage was much higher, but does that mean he must get a better deal only because she took a smaller loan when buying her house?

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:10

Issaries: Sep 15, 2008; "At the end of the day
We are all human beings
My father once told me that
The world has no borders"

the holy poopacy posted:

It's, uh, pretty normal to support a romantic partner when there's a large income disparity.

Only if you want to.
He was good enough to date, but moving in is a bigger step.
He doesn't look so hot, if you have to pay heavily for it and have to become step-mommy for two in your 20:s

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:19

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

oh my loving god you're back on this again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7QZgH1eP2o

AITA for unintentionally acting deaf?

quote:

(throwaway acc because my friend's follow my main acc)

As a disclaimer, I want to mention that I (17f) have social anxiety disorder, and am properly diagnosed. I have issues talking with strangers, especially when those strangers are some sort of �authority figure�, like policemen, friends� parents- I end up either speaking really softly or just being unable to speak at all. This isn't really an excuse, but just an explanation for why I couldn't talk to the guard later on in the story.

The problem starts when I went out to celebrate the 18th birthday of Leah, my close childhood friend. We were supposed to meet at a certain spot in this mall I�ve never been to before with a bunch of her other friends (that I�m not that close with) before heading to a restaurant she reserved. While I typically dislike going out, it�s Leah's special day so I decided to just suck it up and go.

On the way, I get super lost and I end up just standing there looking around for any clue as to where the meet up spot is. I stupidly left my glasses at home, so I�m squinting and walking close to every sign just to figure out where the gently caress I am, when the mall guard approaches me and asks if I�m alright.

I get extremely flustered, and I�m struggling to tell him I�m just finding my way, but when I touch my ear (a habit when I�m nervous) the guard ends up assuming I�m deaf. He starts using sign language, and I get even more stressed so I end up just running away. I call Leah in complete embarrassment while telling her the story, and she starts laughing at my ridiculous situation, and I end up laughing a bit with her. She helps me find my way to where she and her other friends are, and when I get there, she�s halfway through telling her other friends what happened to me.

She's laughing while she tells the story, but when she finishes, they turn to look at me with a face that looked like I just shat inside their purses. One of the girls calls me an ableist, and said it was trashy of me to pretend to have a disability, while another said I was an rear end for mocking deaf people and taking advantage of the guard�s kindness just to laugh at him.

I didn�t really know what to say but Leah interjected and explained that I had SAD, but the mood was incredibly awkward during dinner, and I ended up making some bs excuse to leave early. Leah messaged me afterwards telling me she understands why I left early and that it's not my fault, and while at first I was thinking it was just a silly story of misunderstandings, I'm just not so sure anymore.. so AITA?

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:24

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

the holy poopacy posted:

It's, uh, pretty normal to support a romantic partner when there's a large income disparity. Her mortgage was low enough that half of the utilities & groceries might very well be a proportionate share of the household expenses for him, although the debate between proportionate vs. equal expenses is a proven relationship killer. But putting more than half of the household expenses on the partner who earns 1/4 as much while the higher-earning partner earns 100% of the home equity is not fair or equitable in any sense.

Her resistance to the idea of not turning him into positive cashflow speaks to her viewing him more as an asset to be exploited than as a partner. And to some extent, yeah, it sounds like he's not much of a partner so she can hardly be blamed for not viewing him as one. I dunno, I just feel like the appropriate reaction to that is "wow, I should stop dating this loser" instead of "I should continue dating this loser so he can help pay off my very affordable mortgage."

She was going to pay for internet and trash, they weren�t going to share groceries, so if he�s got zero rent his sole contribution is half the utilities, which she figured would cover the increase from three people moving into the house.

She offered support to her romantic partner by giving him a sweetheart deal on rent - half what he was paying before, and over a thousand dollars a month less than what he�d be able to find somewhere else. He demanded free rent, shouted at her about how she spends her own money, and insisted that she was wrong because he wants to be able spend more money on things like name brand cereal for his kids that she won�t even get to share because again, they�re doing separate groceries.

You don�t get to demand your girlfriend of one year give you half the space in her house for free and stop spending money on herself, even if it�s because you want to buy your two kids name brand cereal. She was fine dating him when their finances were separate, he insisted on comingling them, so she dumped him. There�s nothing gross or exploitative about what she did.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:25

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

the holy poopacy posted:

I dunno, I just feel like the appropriate reaction to that is "wow, I should stop dating this loser" instead of "I should continue dating this loser so he can help pay off my very affordable mortgage."

Yeah, I think the gap between "I like this person enough and am serious about our relationship enough to let them move in with me" and "I like/love this person enough and value our relationship enough to not charge them full rent" is pretty small. Seems like this dude just fell into that little space.

Then again we've seen stories like 'Wife (39f) was laid off and lost her dental plan. Now needs a root canal. AITA for buying a PS5 instead of leading her the money?'

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:26

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Honestly my impression is there were severe enough problems in the relationship already, if his reaction was really just about having money to provide for his kids then moving in would have given him a lot more disposable income to redirect to them. At no point am I arguing that the current state of the housing market is fair, but when you break the scenario down to be about the relationship between OP and the ex, it comes down to her not trusting him to contribute non-financially enough to make moving 3 other people into her space worth it, and him immediately blowing up a chance to live with his girlfriend and save a significant amount of money because he felt entitled to more than what she was offering, despite what would have actually been better for his kids (if the relationship was good). Then you get into things like, having two kids move into your space is also an entirely different situation than just having your boyfriend move in, which could be part of her hesitation to offer a different split, and on his side is it really better to uproot your kids from the space they're used to so they can move in with a girlfriend who wasn't enthusiastic about having them there and might resent them? Is that just going to cause more distress for them when the relationship ends and they have to move yet again but can't get their old place back?

So, uh, yeah, housing is a basic human right and people shouldn't be going broke trying to make rent, but I think the fact that he's a dad also changes the equation in ways that make it a good thing he didn't move in if the relationship wasn't actually stable.

PetraCore fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Jun 2, 2023

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:28

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for shaving my nieces hair off?

quote:

I�ll try to keep this short, my sister has a daughter and she is 4 years old. Lexi has super curly hair and needs her hair to be taken care of constantly. My sisters husband ended up in the hospital and she has been a wreck. He has only been a week but she is destroyed and stopped brushing Lexis hair.

I was visiting with some premade meals and noticed the house and lexis hair was a mess. My sister wasn�t doing well so I offered to take Lexi for a bit so she can focus on her husband.

I tried to fix her hair, it�s just matted. I couldn�t fix it. I went to a hair salon to see if they could fix it but it would be 50 dollars an hour for them to brush out the hair. My sister wasn�t picking up. So we had her head shaved the next day. I sent pictures when it was done and that finally got her to respond.

It resulted in a huge argument, with her saying how dare I do that and me pointing out I wouldn�t of had to if she brushed her daughters hair.

Edit: Make the timeline clearer, I got her Tuesday morning, went to the salon on Wednesday and then did the cut today. She had three days to respond to all the calls and texts. This didn�t happen in an hour

Lexi was fine with it, her head was hurting and yes we tried everything we could to get it out. Not to mention I called my sister and texted her multiple times and waited a whole day after the salon visit. It was painful I want going to leave her in pain since her mom wouldn�t pick up

I love it when a story has an utterly ridiculous title that you end up agreeing with.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:34

ElectricSheep: Jan 14, 2006; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Agrikk posted:

Yes, I live on earth,in the USA, on the west coast where public charter schools are regulated and audited on the regular. I am adjacent to dozens of people who work in this space who bust their asses every day for organizations that give children the education that can and does get kids into colleges who wouldn’t have otherwise had that opportunity.

I’m not saying that these frauds didn’t happen but I am saying that your “all charter schools steal public education funds” stance is uninformed and does a great injustice to all of the people working to make a difference.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Charter schools that take public funding take funds out of public education, that's just tautological. That's not to say people working there can't have good intentions, but even in the best case scenario it splinters public funding to school systems and leaves less resources to the students who are left behind from the charter system. As a bonus to profit margins, disabled kids are often left behind by charter schools since they tend to have less legal obligations there.

And even if individual charter schools can do good things, charter schools as a whole in the US are tied into the "school choice" political effort that's transparently about getting money out of public systems and into the pockets of business owners and churches. Anybody advocating charters should be under careful scrutiny as any stated education advocacy is often disingenuous.

From the "two things can be true!" camp, having spent over ten years teaching at a charter:

Plenty of people where I worked busted their asses to be the best they could be, not just because it was a razor's edge to a school score drop (an absolute kiss of death for a longtime strong-performing charter) but because they genuinely loved the kids. I was given the opportunity to try anything I could possibly cook up to teach my kids. I miss them a lot.

I do not miss the very clear politics and corporate nature of the beast that loom as the elephants in the room. Without doxxing myself or who I used to work for, the company responsible for my network did not originate as educational in nature, but found it profitable to do so. The company now has political connections that I abhor (both the people AND the politics). And administration, in pursuit of the "scores = money/prestige" dragon, will do anything it takes at the expense of their own staff, but that's nothing new.

anyway back to laughing at train wrecks

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:36

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Walh Hara posted:

This is a huge leap and not my impression from how she describes it. 700$/month is in no way exploitative, instead it's clearly a much much better deal than he can get elsewhere.

You probably wouldn't have reacted this way if her mortgage was much higher, but does that mean he must get a better deal only because she took a smaller loan when buying her house?

...yes, that means exactly that, because that's literally how living together in a relationship works?

Under her scheme she's out a modest increase in utilities in exchange for a cool $700 break in her mortgage, so yes, she absolutely wants to turn him into a cash-generating asset for herself. It is still a win-win since he gets a break in his rent as well but she's arranged the expenses so that she reaps more of the benefits of the arrangement than he does.

Issaries posted:

Only if you want to.
He was good enough to date, but moving in is a bigger step.
He doesn't look so hot, if you have to pay heavily for it and have to become step-mommy for two in your 20:s

Nobody said she had to pay for it. She pays the same mortgage whether or not he moves in. She could easily make him pay his own way on utilities & groceries and contribute some for wear & tear on the house, and then she wouldn't have to pay a dime for him without having to charge him a full 70% of the mortgage.

Again, if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with a broke father of 2, that's very understandable. But have the respect for yourself and your partner to just dump them instead of trying to monetize them.

Coca Koala posted:

She was going to pay for internet and trash, they weren�t going to share groceries, so if he�s got zero rent his sole contribution is half the utilities, which she figured would cover the increase from three people moving into the house.

She offered support to her romantic partner by giving him a sweetheart deal on rent - half what he was paying before, and over a thousand dollars a month less than what he�d be able to find somewhere else. He demanded free rent, shouted at her about how she spends her own money, and insisted that she was wrong because he wants to be able spend more money on things like name brand cereal for his kids that she won�t even get to share because again, they�re doing separate groceries.

You don�t get to demand your girlfriend of one year give you half the space in her house for free and stop spending money on herself, even if it�s because you want to buy your two kids name brand cereal. She was fine dating him when their finances were separate, he insisted on comingling them, so she dumped him. There�s nothing gross or exploitative about what she did.

The guy isn't a catch and he reacted badly as well, but having the person you thought of as a partner tell you that you are more valuable to them as a cash-generating asset than a partner is a pretty big gently caress you.

If she had charged even half of the mortgage then she'd have come out looking a lot better. Charging 50% of the living expenses to the guy bringing in 20% of the household money is a rough carry and I'd have doubts about the longevity of that relationship, but at least it has the veneer of fairness. And yeah, she deserves some cushion against being taken advantage of. But charging him the lion's share of the mortgage on a house he doesn't own while also expecting him to pay most of his own way on other expenses is pure profit-seeking behavior.

PetraCore posted:

Honestly my impression is there were severe enough problems in the relationship already, if his reaction was really just about having money to provide for his kids then moving in would have given him a lot more disposable income to redirect to them. At no point am I arguing that the current state of the housing market is fair, but when you break the scenario down to be about the relationship between OP and the ex, it comes down to her not trusting him to contribute non-financially enough to make moving 3 other people into her space worth it, and him immediately blowing up a chance to live with his girlfriend and save a significant amount of money because he felt entitled to more than what she was offering, despite what would have actually been better for his kids (if the relationship was good). Then you get into things like, having two kids move into your space is also an entirely different situation than just having your boyfriend move in, which could be part of her hesitation to offer a different split, and on his side is it really better to uproot your kids from the space they're used to so they can move in with a girlfriend who wasn't enthusiastic about having them there and might resent them? Is that just going to cause more distress for them when the relationship ends and they have to move yet again but can't get their old place back?

So, uh, yeah, housing is a basic human right and people shouldn't be going broke trying to make rent, but I think the fact that he's a dad also changes the equation in ways that make it a good thing he didn't move in if the relationship wasn't actually stable.

I agree with all of this 100%. But also if putting up with his kids in your house makes you want to charge him an annoyance tax above and beyond the actual increased expenses then I think the relationship is dead the instant the topic of moving in arises.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:44

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

MagusofStars posted:

Absolutely and you know this because "surprise appraisal as a gift" is laughably bullshit.

If she was already planning on selling them soon or needed the information for insurance purposes, then she'd have already gotten her own appraisal. If she's not planning on selling them, it doesn't loving matter what the valuation is at this exact instant.

After what Jay pulled I'd absolutely get them appraised for insurance

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 21:30

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

the holy poopacy posted:

I agree with all of this 100%. But also if putting up with his kids in your house makes you want to charge him an annoyance tax above and beyond the actual increased expenses then I think the relationship is dead the instant the topic of moving in arises.

Oh yeah, I don't think she should have necessarily offered to let him move in if it was going to be a problem for her, but I also feel like given everything under the surface in that post and the tone of her update where she dumped him it was actually about the rent money. Better things died before the kids got uprooted.

# ? Jun 2, 2023 16:55

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »