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Gavok posted:When WWF did a Gimmick Battle Royal at WrestleMania 17 back in 2001, Iron Sheik won the match purely because he was too broken down to handle going over the top rope. lol rip
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Jun 7, 2023 22:11
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Gavok posted:
NGL, I fuckin laughed. Hard. The sheik was on Howard Stern a few times and talked a gang of poo poo about abunch of wrestlers he didn't like. I think one of his favorite things to say was "you are gay and fa**ot"!
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Jun 7, 2023 22:38
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He also talked a lot about putting people in the camel cutch, break their back, then take out his ten inch cock, gently caress their rear end and make them humble. REST IN PEACE SHEIKY BABY, YOU GIVE GRIM REAPER CAMEL CLUTCH, THEN gently caress HIS rear end MAKE HIM HUMBLE!!
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Jun 7, 2023 22:40
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sheiky came to america as a normal iranian man with a talent for wrestling who didnt do drugs and was into cleaning living and then he got into professional wrestling and became sheiky
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Jun 7, 2023 22:56
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He was so clean cut he was a coach for the US Olympic wrestling team. Then there are shoot videos where he's yelling about how much he wants to smoke crack.
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Jun 7, 2023 23:36
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Regrettable posted:He was so clean cut he was a coach for the US Olympic wrestling team. Then there are shoot videos where he's yelling about how much he wants to smoke crack. Sheiky baby is a man of contrasts.
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Jun 7, 2023 23:44
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Regrettable posted:He was so clean cut he was a coach for the US Olympic wrestling team. Then there are shoot videos where he's yelling about how much he wants to smoke crack. what pro wrestling will do to a mf
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Jun 7, 2023 23:46
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i told this in another thread but my favorite sheiky story was when WCW hired him and gave him an extravagant contract not realizing that at that point sheiky's body had broken down and he couldnt wrestle anymore once they realized this they benched him and tried to wait his contract out while sheiky was content to just sit at home and get paid. this being wcw they forgot to release him from his contract and he ended up getting an extra year of pay to do nothing lol
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Jun 7, 2023 23:51
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Some news guy just was all like "EERRAN NUMBER VUN"!!
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Jun 7, 2023 23:55
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The ultimate bad guys of my Reagan-era childhood, the Iron Sheik and Nicolai Volkoff.
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Jun 8, 2023 00:40
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Who got the Iron Sheik into coke in the first place? Jake the Snake, I'm assuming?
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Jun 8, 2023 13:21
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16-bit Butt-Head posted:he was fired from the wwe for this and not the cocaine lol how the gently caress do you get fired from the wwe for cocaine
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Jun 8, 2023 13:30
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He got caught publicly.
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Jun 8, 2023 13:37
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sheiky took a drug test and because of an language barrier and sheiky being insane he thought testing positive for cocaine was good and walked around the locker room pounding his chest and shouting YES until vince told him that it wasnt a good thing. sheiky then asked if jake tested positive for cocaine and vince said no and then sheiky said that was weird because he and jake do coke all the time
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Jun 8, 2023 14:05
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LMAO Sheik was doing Vin Diesel facts decades before it was cool. You could publish a book on completely made up poo poo and it would probably still be more believable than his actual stories.
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Jun 8, 2023 14:33
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16-bit Butt-Head posted:sheiky took a drug test and because of an language barrier and sheiky being insane he thought testing positive for cocaine was good and walked around the locker room pounding his chest and shouting YES until vince told him that it wasnt a good thing. sheiky then asked if jake tested positive for cocaine and vince said no and then sheiky said that was weird because he and jake do coke all the time lmao coke leaves your system in like 24-48 hours too its pretty hard to test positive for it
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Jun 8, 2023 15:25
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WoodrowSkillson posted:lmao coke leaves your system in like 24-48 hours too its pretty hard to test positive for it That's why sheiky baby was so proud!!
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Jun 8, 2023 17:20
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Jun 8, 2023 18:00
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My favorite Iron Sheik story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J2-KqnSXso "Sheiky please, please get some heat."
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Jun 8, 2023 18:10
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:My favorite Iron Sheik story. I forget if it's been mentioned already, but my favorite Iron Sheik story was the one Bruno Sammartino told. It went something like this: Bruno was backstage at a show sometime in the early 1980s (I think MSG, not sure though) and some football players came up to him. Bruno was like "hey, you guys aren't supposed to be back here" and one of them was all "oh we just wanted to meet you" and put his hand out. Bruno went to shake it and the guy started squeezing and telling him how he thought wrestling was fake and Bruno wasn't poo poo, and Bruno responded by slapping the taste out of his mouth, and the fight was on. There were like four or five of them, so they had the advantage on Bruno...until, from out of the showers, the Iron Sheik came running out and helped Bruno kick their asses until security showed up. I don't remember if Bruno said that Sheik was wearing anything or not, so I'm just going to chuckle at the idea of some football jocks getting their clocks cleaned by a 50-something Bruno and a naked, wet, and angry Iron Sheik. 
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Jun 8, 2023 21:47
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THE UNDERTAKER’S NO GOOD, VERY BAD FIRST CAREER QUARTER Part 5/Conclusion: THE UNDERTAKER’S NO GOOD, VERY BAD OTHER HALF OR SO OF 1995 ACTUALLY IT’S MOST OF 1995 REALLY AND A LITTLE OF 1996  OPPONENT 6: THE THIRD BIG FAT BALD GUY WHO WAS FATTER THAN THE FIRST FAT GUY AND BALDER THAN THE SECOND FAT GUY Or THE DEAD PRESIDENTS SAGA, PART 2: LAYING AN EGG Okay, I gently mock the man. Then again, he was said to be related to the Married With Children Bundys (within the fictional universe of the show), so maybe I should shut up. Also, he apparently loved cats, so he’s good in my book. In all seriousness, King Kong Bundy, nee Christopher Alan Pallies, while he may have never won a WWE title of any stripe (as he wrestled in the era when there were only three belts to be had, instead of a baker’s dozen across four or five shows), does have one big accomplishment, even if it could be said to be wholly arbitrary. The WWE, over the last 10-15 years, has shilled the concept of ‘Wrestlemania Moments’, iconic happenings at their biggest show that live on in video packages and fan memories forever. There’s just one problem: the WWE cannot create Wrestlemania moments, no matter how much they might declare something is one. They just have to happen, and be retroactively recognized as such. You cannot force it. Stuff like Wrestlemania X8’s Hogan vs Rock match (which I was live for), or Daniel Bryan’s triumph at the end of WM XXX, or bits like Shawn Michaels’ splash off the ladder onto Razor Ramon in their legendary ladder match, are just things that click. Trying to do otherwise will always end in failure. That’s why, no matter what the WWE might say, Shane McMahon’s shooting star press at Wrestlemania 17 or his dive off the cage at Wrestlemania 32 is not a Wrestlemania moment. You know what is? Showing up to fight the Miz at this year's Wrestlemania 39 and immediately tearing his quad, forcing Wrestlemania host Snoop Dog to be part of a called audible and punch out the Miz. And sadly, I suspect that had Brock Lesnar properly nailed the shooting star press in the main event of Wrestlemania 19, it would be a lot less remembered and ‘WM Momenty’ than the fact that he instead headplanted into the mat and likely was a hair away from breaking his drat lucky neck. King Kong Bundy? I would argue that he has three organic, legit Wrestlemania moments, all on the first three Wrestlemanias. The first one would be utterly smashing his opponent in less than thirty seconds at the first one (WWE even times it at nine seconds, but there’s an asterisk or two attached to such a time). The second would be main eventing Wrestlemania 2, an odd experimental show which was ‘broken up’ into three shows, but Bundy has a firm argument of being the real ‘main event’ as he took on Hulk Hogan in a steel cage for the WWF Championship. Hogan had not really had any super strong competition after winning the belt, mostly defeating Iron Sheik in rematches, then fighting with Roddy Piper, who was much more of a sneaky bastard rear end in a top hat than a ‘danger’, and then his famous feud with the late Paul Orndorff which supposedly drew RIDICULOUS money and was basically Hulkmania at its molten hottest, but that was basically one long revenge tour against a traitorous former friend instead of an actual threat to Hogan’s title. Bundy, having smashed the Hulkster with big splashes and ‘injured’ his ribs in the lead up to Wrestlemania 2, and with Hogan’s schtick of being invincible not yet set in stone, Bundy probably came off as the first real, legit threat to defeat Hogan and take his belt. Of course, he would fall to ‘smash Hogan with same move that ‘injured’ him, but this time Hogan HULKS UP, punches, leg, bodyslam because Bundy’s SO BIG, legdrop, done’ as so many others would in turn, but that’s with a fair dose of hindsight bias. And the third? Well, at Wrestlemania 3, underneath the legendary Steamboat vs Savage match and the ‘defining moment of all Hulkamania’ Andre slam in the main event, Bundy, in an arc that basically spoke of a wrestling career in microcosm, that being on the way up at the first Wrestlemania, at the top at the second, and falling back down in the third, would find himself in a six man tag match against ‘good friend’ of Hogan, Hillbilly Jim (nee James Morris)...and two midget/little person wrestlers (with Bundy, there was Little Tokyo and Lord Littlebrook, and with Jim, there was Little Beaver and the Haiti Kid). Bundy’s last Wrestlemania moment would be getting sick of Little Beaver pestering him and squashing him into the mat, which got his team disqualified as an act of supreme bullying and bad taste, I guess. It seemed that he saw the writing on the wall, and the year after, seemingly took an early retirement from wrestling (he had only begun in 1981, this was now 1988), only wrestling in a handful of matches over the next several years. Though one of those would be in the main event of the inaugural ECW supercard November to Remember, a year before the federation would declare that it was EXTREME instead, so there was that. It seemed like Bundy was going to get a second chance when he got re-signed to the WWE in mid/late 1994, returning as the ‘big guy’ of Ted Dibiase’s Million Dollar Corporation stable. At first, it seemed like he was doing well; he basically led his team at Survivor Series to victory, in what was probably the final nail in Lex Luger: Hulk Hogan 2’s coffin. Luger, down to himself against Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, and his rival and feud opponent Tatanka, had went through an extended exchange with the now evil Native American and just managed to pull out a pin…only for Bundy to immediately run into the ring and big splash Luger into oblivion and a pinfall loss. If he really was meant to be the next Hogan, he would have kicked out from that. But by then, the wheels had come off the Lex Express, and he was a hero to no one. So, fittingly, after IRS was easily handled by the Undertaker, Bundy would be the next one to step up to face him. Perhaps a sign of how things were already going to go south was later that very night, when Bundy, touted as a favorite to win the Royal Rumble, only lasted a few minutes before being eliminated by another very large man, Mabel. This would come off as extra insulting inadvertently, as Mabel had to work to wrestle Bundy over the top rope. A few minutes later, Lex Luger would basically ‘burst of strength’ lift and toss Mabel out of the Rumble as well, hence basically saying ‘Man this big man just got tossed with seeming ease, what does it say about the big man HE tossed?’ Or maybe I’m overthinking it. Undertaker would spend the time between the Rumble and Wrestlemania facing Bundy and fellow Million Dollar Corporation member Bam Bam Bigelow on house shows and dark matches, which indicated that he did get some practice at being in the ring with Bundy. And so the show rolled around. And it was here that Bundy arguably got his third and a half Wrestlemania moment, as during Undertaker’s entrance, it was mentioned for the first time that Undertaker was undefeated at Wrestlemania. And that was all the match had. Bundy had never been a good worker, and his match with Undertaker, while not memorably bad, was still very bad. The two clearly had such few ideas on what to do that Bundy was doing stagger-stall selling within 30 seconds, and the match seemed so unimportant that Undertaker, a minute or two in, broke off to where Ted DiBiase, at ringside with the stolen urn, was, and stole it back, handing it back to Paul Bearer. And then Charles “Not the Godfather yet, at the moment he’s just called Kama, or rather Kama The Supreme Fighting Machine, but it’s not like his name is Kama Thesupremefightingmachine, later it will be Kama Mustafa, and oh yeah he was also Papa Shango” Wright would run out and steal the urn from Paul Bearer right back AGAIN. Yes, he had at least officially joined DiBiase’s stable so this made SOME sense. And AGAIN showing just how little the match was offering, Kama promptly cut an interview MID-MATCH, as he was fleeing back up the ramp, saying that he was going to melt down the urn into some proper ‘bling’, before he left and Undertaker no-sold Bundy’s trademark ring corner squash splash, before putting him away…with a clothesline. Yeah. No chokeslam, definitely no Tombstone, and not even going off the top rope. Just a (albeit big leaping) clothesline, and Bundy would be the 4th streak victim. Between this match, a dull rematch between Bret Hart and Bob Backlund, the fact that the main event featured a football player (who acquitted himself well, but still, that was a spot that a WWE wrestler could have had), and the fact that the only good match was Shawn Michaels trying to show up his friend to prove he should be the top guy, there’s a reason that Wrestlemania 11 is considered among the worst Wrestlemanias. That loss would also be the last thing of note Bundy would ever do in the WWE, as he’d fall down the card immediately and be released at the end of 1995. The rest of Bundy’s career would come on Indy feds before he retired in 2007, before passing away in 2019. At 63, he made it longer than some of the large men we’ve discussed in these posts, so…I guess there was that.  OPPONENT 7: THE GUY WHO REALIZED THAT PRETENDING TO DO MMA WAS EVEN HARDER THAN RACE RELATIONS OR PIMPING or THE DEAD PRESIDENTS SAGA, PART 3: BREAKING THE BANK An aside, once more. When Undertaker returned for his Underfaker match, as a rib, the WWE gave Bearer/Moody a new urn, one that was at least twice as big as the old one. The rib was supposed to be ‘Now you have to carry it around in airports and stuff, and if you complain, you’ll have to carry it around longer’. Bearer ended up stuffing the rib by never complaining, and perhaps as a reward, or the fact that they weren’t getting the needling they wanted, the urn would be removed from the Undertaker’s life when Kama stole it. By the next Raw, he was now sporting a large chain of gold links, or bronze links, or copper links, whatever the urn was made out of. It’s a shame, I kind of liked the giant urn with the flashlight inside it. But then again, I really liked the Bret Hart vs Jerry Lawler Kiss My Foot match and The Last Jedi, so who the hell am I to assess the quality of anything? Jokes aside, Wright had one big difference from other members of DiBiase’s stable, that being he was a member of Undertaker’s Bone Street Krew. That likely explained that while IRS and Bundy only got two months or so of feud with Undertaker before he squashed them, Wright would fight the Undertaker for half the year, with the big blowoff match between the two happening at Summerslam. Of course, being the Undertaker’s friend in real life didn’t mean Kama got to go over, and while on TV nothing would happen until Summerslam, on house shows and in dark matches Kama lost to Undertaker over and over again. It seemed like the only skill Kama had was keeping the Undertaker from reclaiming his ‘urn-chain’, as despite all these losses he kept showing up on TV with it. Hell, even after Undertaker finally beat Kama ‘for good’ at Summerslam in a Casket match, he STILL didn’t reclaim the urn-chain (and then Undertaker beat him in ANOTHER round of casket matches in September on house shows for good measure). In the end, the only thing Kama managed to accomplish was attacking a pair of ‘plant superfans’ of the Undertaker, known on TV as his ‘Creatures of the Night’, and being part of making King of the Ring 1995 one of the worst WWE PPV’s ever by double eliminating himself and his opponent Shawn Michaels via time limit draw. As Michaels was the guy that all the fans ACTUALLY wanted to see win, well…you can just imagine how grim the event ended up being. The fact that it took place in Philadelphia, the backyard of the ultra-smarky ECW crowd, sure as poo poo didn’t help. And their actual Summerslam match? Well, as said. Undertaker, more or less, had to learn ‘on the job’. Constantly being stuck with giant slugs who couldn’t ‘work’ themselves hadn’t done much for his learning. As it would turn out, Undertaker would need an actual GOOD worker to REALLY start coming into his own. An average worker, like IRS, or Kama, was not enough. Their match at Summerslam was perhaps the worst kind of all: generic and utterly forgettable, which, considering the dull slog that was Undertaker’s entire 9 month feud with the Million Dollar Corporation, meant it was pretty much a fitting end to said feud. You might remember Undertaker’s Wrestlemania 9 match for all the wrong reasons, but it’s remembered all the same. Unfortunately, while the Clique had enough wrestling talent to make each other look great, Undertaker and Kama did not. But, considering what was to come… Because that King of the Ring that the fans wanted Shawn Michaels to win? That would instead go to the recently heel turned Nelson Frazier Jr, known on screen at the time as ‘Mabel’. And who was he? Well, in my opinion, he was…  OPPONENT 8: THE UNDERTAKER’S ACTUAL WORST OPPONENT EVER (ALSO HE’S BIG AND FAT) I’ve mentioned several times that Undertaker had very little training (through no real fault of his own) and had to learn ‘on the job’. In truth, most wrestlers learn ‘on the job’. And while the lifestyle of amassing thousands of miles on the road or via plane, going all around the world, and tossing yourself on the mat for peanuts for years to ‘pay your dues’, with no protection or health insurance, is really something that wrestling should well leave behind, it DID have the benefit of giving those with potential a wide variety of experiences with different talents, crowds, and all that. Undertaker, on the other hand, had basically spent his whole career in the States in one of the Big Two companies. He never went to Mexico, or Japan, or Europe, save for tours with the WWE. Considering it was that sort of travel that destroyed Dynamite Kid and helped turn Chris Benoit into a family annihilator, I’m sure plenty would say, GOOD. But there’s another thing that such experience brings. Which is just that. Experience. Surely there must be a way to get the latter without the former, but that’s another debate. Wrestling, even between people who legit hate each other, involves a measure of trust. You are literally putting yourself into another man’s hands. Doing something to legit hurt someone intentionally is a big, big no no. For all the bad blood Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart had, neither ever tried to harm the other when in the ring. While Bruiser Brody did once shoot on Lex Luger by stopping selling for him and, depending on who you asked (namely. Luger himself), he showed Luger that he’d prepped ‘every finger’ ‘for blading’, causing Luger to legit flee the cage they were in, Bruiser didn’t actually try and cut him up. Would he, had Luger not run away? I cannot say he would or would not have. Yes, there are rotten incidents like the aforementioned ‘Antonio Inoki legit kicking the Great Antonio unconscious because the rear end in a top hat stopped selling for him and then started sloppily hitting him on the neck’, or the infamous New Jack/Mass Transit incident where an underage kid lied his way into an ECW match, only to get mauled and badly cut by the notoriously violent wrestler because the kid didn’t know what he was doing and told Jack he could cut him anyway…or the time that New Jack tried to literally kill another wrestler by trying to make him miss the tables he was supposed to land on…or probably other New Jack stories, New Jack was NOT a good person…but the point is, you can be green as grass, you can make mistakes, you can never develop as a worker, you can undermine and cut the legs out from other wrestlers, all of those things can be forgiven, depending on the circumstances. But what is considered beyond the pale is if a person is a bad, unsafe worker, who injures their opponents, and then, after being specifically asked/told not to do the things that had caused injuries, went ahead and DID THEM AGAIN ANYWAY. And so we come to Mabel, or King Mabel, later Viscera and Big Daddy V (nee Nelson Frazier Jr), another gigantic, 500 pound man who probably immediately got the blood rushing to Vince McMahon’s genitals, because less than two years into his pro career he was signed to the WWE with “Mo” nee Robert Horne. Mabel was initially part of a pure 90’s nonsense gimmick, as he was ‘A Man On A Mission’, in his tag team, which were…The Men On A Mission. What was their mission? Never explained. Their name before being called up to the WWE, the Harlem Knights, was much better IMO. Name choice aside, what made it super 90’s was their manager, Oscar, who led them to the ring doing a garbled freestyle rap in the vein of what Vince/the writers thought was ‘hip with the kids’. And even in those face days, Mabel kept being promoted as a sleeping giant who would be unstoppable if he awakened (Many a time would the commentators say “Look at the size of Mabel!”). Of course, this just made him look like a goof when he failed to do that and did things like lose to IRS in the 1994 King of the Ring after being touted as the inevitable winner, or losing to Jeff Jarrett at the same year’s Summerslam in a ‘Rap vs Country’ match. But once Mabel and Mo heel turned and got rid of Oscar after Wrestlemania 11, that was when the rocket got stuck to Mabel’s rear end…and it turned out that this was a terrible idea, because despite being so drat big and with some decent movement and agility, Frazier was too drat green to be a top star main eventer. And he wasn’t the one who was going to pay the price for that. Sadly, this is not an issue that has vanished in more recent times. In the last decade, Savelina Fanene, who wrestled under the name Nia Jax, came under fire for being a sloppy, dangerous worker who had been pushed too hard because 1) She was a plus size model in the land of the more conventionally athletic female wrestlers, which meant she stood out/WAS BIG and 2) She was the Rock’s cousin. Eventually, she did get released from the WWE in 2020, and it has been suggested that she botched so much that she actually got fired over it, which, considering what the WWE had already put up with because she was big and unique looking and ‘hey maybe we can get the fatties to think the world might actually like them if we have one of them as a main star’ (this last one being my cynical assessment of how the usual sorts backstage thought). But as far as I can tell, Savelina’s actions were all accidental; she really should have gotten more training, or been depushed if she simply couldn’t develop, but she never meant to hurt anyone and would have avoided doing it if told. I think, who knows? Frazier was not so intelligent, it seemed. After winning the King of the Ring, changing his name to King Mabel (naitch) with Mo now being ‘Sir Mo’, Mabel got set up as Kevin Nash’s next tree branch in his year of falling down a tree and hitting all the not-drawing branches on the way down in July, when Mabel attacked him during a Lumberjack match. This led to yet another stinker of a match between the two at the 1995 Summerslam, but there was far worse about it than match quality. According to Nash, Mabel wasn’t just sloppy, he was outright reckless and didn’t care about his opponent’s safety beyond the most basic ways. Specifically, Frazier had a take on the sit-down splash where, instead of landing in a way so that his legs took nearly all the impact (see: John Tenta and his butt splash finisher, or Yokozuna and his Banzai drop), he kicked his legs outward, putting all of his legit 500+ pound weight on his gigantic rear end as he crashed down onto his opponent. He’d already hurt several workers doing this (again, this is according to Nash, two sides to every story, just to keep that in mind), and while preparing for their Summerslam match, Nash specifically asked Frazier to not do the move. Take a wild guess what Frazier did. Yes, even after being SPECIFICALLY ASKED IN ADVANCE, Frazier did his butt squash drop on Nash’s back during the match ANYWAY. Why? Did he forget in the heat of the moment? Did he think he could try and do it more safely, but failed? Or, all things considered, had he gotten his head so far up his own rear end about his supposed main event stardom that was just beginning that he had decided that he didn’t have to listen and would do what he wanted? Again, I don’t know. Could be any of those reasons, something else, or more than one. The end result was Nash barely avoiding suffering a severe back injury and Frazier barely avoiding being fired immediately after the show, his job only saved because Nash, in a moment of arguable decency, actually went to bat for Frazier and said that he shouldn’t lose his job over ‘one mistake’. Thing was, it was not a singular mistake. Having failed in his attempt at the world title, we finally come back to Undertaker as Mabel entered a feud with him…and shortly into that feud, Frazier injured the Undertaker as well. There’s conflicting information on exactly when and how Frazier did so; Wikipedia lists it as botched legdrops that Mabel performed on the Undertaker as part of a gang-up attack committed by him and Yokozuna on a Monday Night Raw, while Undertaker himself said it happened on a house show and that it was due to Frazier not being in the right spot in the ring because of his inexperience and sloppiness and basically ramming Undertaker in the face with his arm. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rbw_7gse1XE Whichever it was, the end result was the same; Calloway suffered a broken orbital bone that put him out of action for two months. Based on the story above, if we discount the stupid ‘just work through it’ bullshit Calloway also did, it was only by luck that the injury didn’t cost him an eye, or worse. That was more or less it for Frazier as a main eventer; his team would be swept by Undertaker’s Not-The-Bone-Street-Krew at Survivor Series, and he would be utterly buried in the final PPV of 1995 by Undertaker in a casket match, where he would have the Undertaker at his mercy, have Mo dump the Undertaker in the casket…and then, instead of closing the casket immediately or having Mo do it, instead had Mo walk over to him to bring him his crown, which he put on before he taunt-danced his way back over to the casket to finally close it, only for Undertaker to stop it from closing because Mabel just gave the legendarily resilient wrestler a solid minute to recover, get back in the ring, beat up Mabel, and kick him into the casket, which he then closed. Wait, wait, no he didn’t. Because first Mo attacked Undertaker from behind. Oh yeah, and SOMEHOW, at SOME point, Mo and Mabel had acquired the Undertaker’s ‘urn-chain’ bling. I don’t know how it passed from Kama to them, or why Undertaker didn’t retrieve it after ending his feud with Kama, but Mo had it. So Undertaker no sold Mo’s punches. Then no sold Mo hitting him with the chain. Then beat up Mo for 20 seconds. Then dumped Mo in the casket. Then paused when closing it before climbing down into the casket, retrieving the chain fully from Mo’s check, then climbing back out and slamming it shut. No comeback for Mabel; like Yokozuna, once in the casket, it was like he’d been hit with a car rather than an Undertaker boot to the head. Paul Bearer would soon have a new urn, more akin to the size of the first one instead of the giant second one, Frazier (and Mo) would be fired shortly after the match, and Undertaker would finally be done with his worst opponent, solely based on how loving dangerous he was to be in the ring with, in the worst of ways. So yes, that is why Frazier was the Undertaker’s worst opponent ever. Maybe his matches with others were awful, but had one or two small things zigged instead of zagged, Frazier might well have ended the Undertaker’s career or even life before it really began. If that’s not enough to be ‘awarded’ this dubious ‘honor’, I don’t know what is. Despite this, Frazier’s sheer size made him get several more chances with the WWE (Horne, however, did not; you could say his time in the WWE was no…w over). Ironically, the next big thing Frazier would do is get involved in the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness bit a few years where he got his new ring name, Viscera. Some might say this was a sign of letting bygones be bygones, but others say Undertaker had Frazier in his stable to make absolutely sure that he never had to wrestle him again. Maybe, if I feel like it, I'll go use the Cage Match records and see if Calloway ever did wrestle Frazier again, on house shows or wherever (Late Edit: He did indeed wrestle him in a batch of tag matches and even another singles match or two right at the end of 2007 and the start of 2008, so I guess Calloway decided 12 years was enough to let some bygones be bygones), but despite being back in the WWE Frazier never went anywhere beyond mid card at best. When WWE brought back ECW, they gave Frazier one last chance at being a high level star by changing his name to ‘Big Daddy V’, and for some reason making him wear a new outfit that showed off his giant moobs…  But it didn’t work, once again, and Frazier would be released from the WWE for the last time in 2008. At least, as far as I can tell, he didn’t injure anyone else during those returns. Sadly, despite going on a strict diet that caused him to lose 100 pounds to deal with high blood pressure and diabetes, Frazier would suddenly die of a heart attack despite his weight loss in 2014, at the age of 43. The fact that he suffered such a fatal cardiac incident after the effort to drop his weight and blood pressure makes one wonder about the cruelties of chance (Jim Fixx comes to mind), or, considering that many wrestlers who died young died of heart attacks which have been linked to heavy steroid use, maybe it was just the bill for bad life choices coming due. As said, Frazier was drat big. And we know just why that so often is. I think of the Men On A Mission rapping promo, where Oscar declared that Frazier, as Mabel, was ‘495 (pounds) and he’s built to last’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jImwKuQC39I Not really, no.  Coda: Dog Eat Dog Frazier would, finally, be the last of the Big lovely Slugs that Undertaker would be forced to play monster slayer against. Or, depending on how you assess things, the second to last, as 1996 began with Undertaker entering a feud with Kevin Nash, based around each of them screwing each other’s chances to win the WWE Title from then-champion Bret Hart, and ending with Nash becoming the fifth victim of the Streak at Wrestlemania 12. In a way, it was a fitting conclusion to the arc of Undertaker’s terrible for several reasons more often than not first career quarter. Each opponent, in its own way, demonstrated a way of how wrestling potential could wet fart into being dull as dishwater and an insult to the fan’s intelligence and spent money. With Kamala, you had a severely limited worker whose gimmick had no business interacting with Undertaker’s. With Gonzalez, you had a man who was literally too big for the world, let alone a wrestling ring, yet his freak size, in a way, forced him into it. With Yokozuna, there was potential swallowed by indulgence of several stripes, both in terms of ludicrous in ring events and too much consumption crushing the talent the large man had. With the Underfaker, it was lack of foresight and analysis for execution. With the entire Million Dollar Corporation, it was trying to make chicken salad out of chicken…well, not poo poo. Legs, maybe. I mean, the bones, not the meat and bone. And finally, we had Mabel, who was outright dangerous to be in the ring with, and to top it off, Kevin Nash, who, while passable as a wrestler, needed a great worker to shine, which Undertaker was not yet…and was on his way out of the WWE, which didn’t exactly give him the motivation to put in extra effort. Undertaker and Nash’s Wrestlemania match was better than some of the ones Undertaker had, and all things considered, that’s really all one can ask for. Finally, FINALLY, after Wrestlemania 12 had passed, newly signed Mick Foley, as Mankind, would debut and attack the Undertaker, finally giving Calloway a long term opponent who could actually WORK. And with that, in some ways, Undertaker’s career truly began, or perhaps more fittingly, rose from the dead. Of course, it didn’t mean that the plague of those first years didn’t revisit itself upon Undertaker ever again. More lousy opponents would stink up the ring over the years and years to come; The Great Khali might be the biggest (literally) example, but there were others, like Heidenreich, or Mark Henry, or Luther Reigns. More terrible matches would still happen over the rest of Calloway’s years: his match against Big Boss Man at Wrestlemania 15, his match with Hulk Hogan in May 2002, a certain match with the Rock whose exact date I forget that was slower than molasses, and, going past all that all the way to the end phases of said career, there was his seeming retirement match with Roman Reigns, or his truly terrible match with Goldberg at a Saudi blood money show where Goldberg concussed himself and in turn nearly dropped the Undertaker right on his head, or on ANOTHER one of those shows, where he and Kane faced Triple H and Shawn Michaels in another botch and injury filled match which also spit on Shawn Michaels’ memorable retirement match with Undertaker eight years previously. And heck, sometimes, there was just some random terribleness, like when Undertaker, during his period as the ‘American Badass’, took on Kurt Angle at Survivor Series 2000 in a pair of pants that had to be seen to be believed. But there was also Hells In A Cell I and II. His Wrestlemania 25 match with Shawn Michaels, as well as Batista and Edge, and depending on your own assessment, his Wrestlemania 26 and 28 (and heck, maybe even 27 and 29) matches as well. An excellent match with Angle at the February 2006 No Way Out PPV. Other matches with Edge, and Brock Lesner, and a Raw match with Jeff Hardy that seems to be a love it or hate it match, but those who love it love it a lot. The Streak becoming legendary. Many an iconic entrance. “Buckle up, Teddy.” Undertaker retired in November 2020, thirty years after entering the WWE. Of course, from the man himself, never say never to one more match. Will it be one last bright spot, or another shovelful of dirt on a grave that should be fully laid to rest? Like any good horror movie monster, never count out another sequel. Even when they should have probably stopped with the psychic battle and the trip to Manhattan that was more like a brief sojourn. In the end, in regards to the Undertaker’s lousy first career part, and how he made it through and what he managed to go on from it and what he made of his career, when most wrestlers would have been dead in the water ten times over from all the poo poo he had to shovel, I think of what was written on one of his t-shirts. Loved by few. Hated by many. Respected by all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IQXp5keU8I Cornwind Evil fucked around with this message at 14:01 on Jun 10, 2023 |
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Jun 9, 2023 17:14
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Cornwind Evil posted:King of the Ring 1995 one of the worst WWE PPV’s ever lol I was there for this, up in the Spectrum's nosebleeds. Had a great time, Hitman was there and it was excited to see him, although I was disappointed Razor Ramon wasn't there due to what Wikipedia takes pains to explain was a legitimate injury.
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Jun 9, 2023 18:53
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Jerry Lynn And as much as people may dislike him, Chris Jericho being in FMW in the right era is some cred.
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Jun 9, 2023 19:37
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Cornwind Evil posted:THE UNDERTAKER’S NO GOOD, VERY BAD FIRST CAREER QUARTER Very much enjoyed these writeups, thanks!
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Jun 10, 2023 06:45
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Gavok posted:When WWF did a Gimmick Battle Royal at WrestleMania 17 back in 2001, Iron Sheik won the match purely because he was too broken down to handle going over the top rope. knowing what we know about Ultimate Warrior that probably made him trash his house in a rage if he heard that
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Jun 10, 2023 10:09
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God I loved that giant flashlight urn.
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Jun 10, 2023 10:22
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I love all the different things that have been inside the urn. Ashes, green smoke, a flashlight, etc.
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Jun 10, 2023 10:23
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So I finally finished up the Behind the Bastards six part series on Vince McMahon. Whoever said six parts wasn't enough was right on the money; they arguably barely managed to 'broad strokes' the man's life. Did I learn anything? A few possibilities, yes. 1) Linda's just as much of a monster as Vince is. No wonder that marriage has endured (Vince supposedly cheated on her so much that even other unfaithful men thought it was bad); the two are made for, and deserve each other. She's the one behind all his big stupid nonsense that kept the gears turning; without Linda, I suspect Vince would have crashed and burned at some point in his life. It says a lot that out of so many who got jobs in Trump's administration and suffered Trump's death touch, Linda seems to be one of the few who slipped away unharmed, more or less. 2) Vince's a pathological liar, no real surprise there. Virtually anything that comes out of his mouth is a lie: no wonder he and Donald Trump are so similar and consider each other 'friends' as much as the two could have such a concept. That story I told about the racist teenage gang, well, that's likely some degree of lie. Maybe a complete lie. 3) It's certain things in between the lies that really drive home that, besides being a psychopath, Vince is just, not, RIGHT in the head. I take a story where he talked about his supposed first sexual experiences, and between also likely lies he told a story about wanting to 'shove leaves' up inside his (female) cousin, which is just so drat jarringly off that it suggests that it's actually true. The man is just warped, and even if he only had a hard upbringing instead of an abusive one, he was never going to be normal. 4) All my effortposts came from my assessment that Vince actually hates wrestling, blames it for an abusive childhood, and got into the business to use it to become a 'proper entertainment' man. The breakdown suggests I am completely wrong, that Vince actually LOVES wrestling, and was obsessed with it even before he discovered who his biological father was. So maybe I was talking out my rear end, big surprise...or maybe, despite himself, Vince McMahon loves wrestling in the same way that Ed Gein loved his mother. On the surface is all the lunacy, but deep down is the truth: while neither is/was mentally sound enough to ever consciously admit it, Gein utterly HATED his mother, and I think Vince subconsciously hates wrestling, which would explain all his attempts to completely remold it in the image he wants, and of course, all his outside attempts to get into other businesses. The rest is just black scum horror that only sours the mood to bring it up. Vince is a very, very bad man, and you simply will have to play the separate art from artist card, because otherwise you're made dirty just by having anything to do with his forms of entertainment. Wrestling might be carny, but Vince is just what that podcast says. A well and true heartless Bastard, with a capital B.
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Jun 10, 2023 14:21
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All you need to know about Vince is that he took the company that his father and grandfather made, and sold it rather than turn it over to his own daughter and son-in-law, solely so he could remain in charge and run things the way he wanted to. Leaving aside the question of whether HHH and Stephanie were doing a great job or a lovely one during the short period where Vince was "retired" (I would say that IMHO, the shows under their direct control were largely "meh"; not good enough to be great and not bad enough to be horrible), at the end of the day Vince could not fathom the idea that someone else other than him was going to be running WWE, and he was more than willing to end the legacy of WWE as a family-owned company if it meant he could keep on running things. He is that much of a control freak.
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Jun 10, 2023 14:33
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The Last Call posted:The Giant Gonzales reading lit a memory in my noggin and it starts with Extreme Warfare. Oh man that was a fun game to mess around in. I remember trying to craft an interesting event but my tag team tables ladders chairs match between top talents would get like a 56 crowd reaction, then the incident “Matt Hardy receives a mysterious phone call” would get like a crowd reaction in the 80s, and at that point I gave up and just started tanking the WWE. I think you could donate all your operating funds to charity.
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Jun 10, 2023 15:31
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Sydney Bottocks posted:All you need to know about Vince is that he took the company that his father and grandfather made, and sold it rather than turn it over to his own daughter and son-in-law, solely so he could remain in charge and run things the way he wanted to. Leaving aside the question of whether HHH and Stephanie were doing a great job or a lovely one during the short period where Vince was "retired" (I would say that IMHO, the shows under their direct control were largely "meh"; not good enough to be great and not bad enough to be horrible), at the end of the day Vince could not fathom the idea that someone else other than him was going to be running WWE, and he was more than willing to end the legacy of WWE as a family-owned company if it meant he could keep on running things. He is that much of a control freak. That is kinda hilariously standard narcissist, is the thing. They like the idea of a legacy as something to tout around, but actually handing it off to someone is an ultimately unthinkable idea for them; their children are just another object they own, after all.
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Jun 10, 2023 16:06
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vince loves wrestling but only his specific brand of cartoony wrestling with generic white bread babyfaces and big men like brock lesnar
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Jun 10, 2023 16:48
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vince hates southern wrasslin
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Jun 10, 2023 17:19
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Vince loves big slow guys and hates small fast guys
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Jun 11, 2023 01:25
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https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1667682589333659648 Performing coups and becoming dictators a good thing to admit to.
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Jun 11, 2023 02:53
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The Last Call posted:https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1667682589333659648 wwe hall of famer donald trump
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Jun 11, 2023 02:57
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Wrong forum section is wrong.
The Last Call fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Jun 11, 2023 |
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Jun 11, 2023 03:06
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The Last Call posted:Republicans Set to Lose Multiple Seats Due to Supreme Court Ruling supreme court justice vince mcmahon
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Jun 11, 2023 03:08
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16-bit Butt-Head posted:supreme court justice vince mcmahon Sliding into the courtroom, immediately blowing out his quads and just going on with the trial sitting in a corner pretending like he hasn't just blown out his quads.
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Jun 11, 2023 03:14
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It's still lol that Vince and Trump are probably half-brothers.
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Jun 11, 2023 06:11
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