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In a talking head segment later, Jim invites the camera crew to reflect on just how hard it was for him, Jim, to dress in a road, crimson or otherwise.
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Jun 12, 2023 14:21
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Jim gets really into shortwave radio, ranting ceaselessly over the local airways about "that loser beet-farmer Dwight Shrute".
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Jun 12, 2023 14:22
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Jim develops a sound that only Dwight can hear, then incessantly blares it at all times, claiming it's a "crime deterrent".
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Jun 12, 2023 14:34
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Jim begins to bend short pieces of wire into paperclips. At first he only does this slowly while on the phone or when he takes a break. After a week there is a small heap of paperclips beneath Jim's desk. Soon the pace at which he bends paperclips becomes much more rapid and he produces thousands of paperclips per day. But he never seems to run out of wire. In fact in the blur that are Jim's hands there is no wire at all and he seems to bend them from any object that is nearby. Still the pace at which the clips are produced accelerates and now the entire office building is filled with paperclips. After some days all of Scranton is a giant heap of clips and there is no end in sight. Jim is buried somewhere beneath the heap which still continues to grow. Dwight tries to flee from the flood of paperclips across the continent but in the end is cut off by an approaching wave of paperclips from all sides. Dwight looks up at the sun for the last time before he drowns in a sea of bent wire. Somewhere Jim mugs the camera. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Jun 12, 2023 |
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Jun 12, 2023 14:59
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Jim releases hypnodrones to convince the masses to purchase his paperclips, and later a swarm of self replicating harvester drones to cultivate all the matter in the universe for the sole purpose of building more paperclips. Jim mugs the camera as his body is atomized by the swarm.
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Jun 12, 2023 16:18
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Jim becomes Dwight's garbageman so he can bang Dwight's trashcans around in the early morning. However, he quickly discovers that the majority of Dwight's trash either goes into his compost heap or into the plastic recycling bin. Indeed, there are no metal cans like Jim imagined, since Jim perpetually lives in a fantasy world informed mostly by Fox News and half-remembered childhood experiences. Realizing that he's now waking up at 1 am every day just to bang around a plastic can (not to mention the fact that he has an entire route to complete after that) Jim fills his pockets with rocks and decides to walk into Lake Scranton. A lone fisherman notices Jim walking the shore and asks if everything's fine. "Of course it is. Just... don't tell anybody you saw me, okay? I'm supposed to be at work today. Had to get a little fresh air. You know how it is." The man toasts his beer to Jim, grunts in agreement, and wishes him luck. The next week Angela asks Dwight why the garbage hasn't been collected yet. Dwight goes to make sure there's nothing wrong with his can, only to find a massive crow sitting on the can. When Dwight approaches the crow squawks at him and flies off, it's large wings beating the air and making an oddly disturbing noise. For a moment, Dwight swears the crow is mugging at him.
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Jun 12, 2023 16:43
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This is Jim. This is Dwight. Jim Likes to prank. Jim Likes to prank Dwight. Oh no! Naughty Jim! Jim has covered Dwight in mayonnaise! Look: over there.... There are lots of hornets! Hornets like mayonnaise. Uh oh, look out Dwight! The hornets are stinging Dwight. Careful there Dwight... Oops! Dwight has fallen out the window! Now Dwight has lots of hornets for friends. Night night Dwight! Oh Jim! What a silly mug you are!
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Jun 12, 2023 19:42
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Jim (Jim from TV’s “The Office”) pranks Dwight (Dwight from TV’s “The Office”) by constantly reminding him (Dwight, that is) to be overly specific with his (Dwight again) nouns, pronouns, and adverbs, causing him (Jim, once again) to annoy Dwight (Dwight Schrute, Jim’s coworker, the same Dwight referred to in the previous sentence) and drive everyone else (Michael Scott, Pam Beasly, Toby Flenderson, et al, as well as occasional guest stars) there (Dunder-Miflin, the fictional setting of the American version of TV’s “The Office.”) crazy. Jim (referring to James Halpert, the Dunder-Miflin employee known for pranks on the American version of the popular television show “The Office”) still finds time to mug the camera, somehow. Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Jun 13, 2023 |
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Jun 12, 2023 22:15
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Jim starts wearing Schrödinger's Hat, a hat which both exists and does not exist depending on how it’s observed. This makes continuity for the documentary crew a complete nightmare, as they are forced to constantly edit around the hat to avoid confusing viewers. This also means the majority of Dwight’s scenes are cut, with the remaining footage mostly involving Meredith’s battles with her insurance company and a bizarre scenario where Andy gets cast on a reality dating show. Dwight finds the whole thing refreshing.
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Jun 13, 2023 00:22
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Jim puts Schrödinger's cat in Schrödinger's hat and now there are three ways to perceive Jim: Jim with a hat, Jim without a hat and a cat on his head and Jim without a hat and with a dead cat on his head. This results in even less usable footage for the show, leading ultimately to its cancellation. Dwight is thrilled by this development.
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Jun 13, 2023 10:12
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Jim begins giving helicopter tours of Scranton, making sure to regularly pass over Schrute Farms at an extremely low altitude. Dwight threatens to report Jim to the FAA. 'Oh, and what's that, Dwight? The Federal rear end in a top hat Association? Because you'd fit right in there!" This gets a small chuckle out of Oscar. Jim notices this and feels a surge of energy flow through his body. "You know, a bunch of assholes shooting poop everywhere! You'd be their mascot! Heck, their president! POOP-sident, even!" "Okay, Jim," Oscar says with a sigh, "you ran it into the ground already. Great job." Jim frowns, then just sits down at his desk and pretends to work for a few hours. Eventually Phyllis stands up and her chair lets out a little squeak. "Woah, that sounded like a FART! Phyllis, are you trying to join the Federal rear end in a top hat Association, too? I heard they're always open! And they've got one brown eye looking out for new talent!" "Stop," responds a stone-faced Oscar, "just stop right now. Nobody cares, Jim. Just stop while you still have some kind of dignity left today."
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Jun 13, 2023 16:47
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After winning the karaoke competition at Poor Richards (for an incredible performance of “You Need to Calm Down” originally by Taylor Swift), Dwight is invited on stage to accept his award (a small plaque and $10 gift card). He jokingly says, “Taylor Swift, eat your heart out.” The next day, Dwight wakes up chained to a stone altar laid high above an eldrich Mesopotamian step-pyramid. Jim hovers above him, an obsidian dagger clutched in his hand. “I should have won, Dwight,” whispers Jim. “After all, it’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me. I’ll eat your heart out.” With that, Jim plunges the dagger down into Dwight’s chest and cuts out his heart. Dwight screams but does not die, even as Jim lifts the heart still beating above his head. Jim then brings the heart to his lips but pauses just before taking a bite, frowning. “You know what? I guess I just thought this would go different. The thought of eating a raw human heart just seems gross. I don’t think I can go through with it.” With that, Jim pops Dwight’s heart back into his chest and unlatches the chains before zooming away in his Zorb. Dwight sighs, collects his things, and begins the long morning trek back to his home, which he can distantly see on the horizon.
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Jun 13, 2023 17:02
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jim visits a plague of boils on dwight, unto the seventh generation
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Jun 13, 2023 17:18
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Jim imprisons Dwight in a giant slap-chop. He then slices and dices him, Dwight, into many smaller Dwight's that all run around panicking until they collide into each other; once again forming the regular-sized Dwight. Dwight mugs at the camera and reaches for the super sized Graty.
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Jun 13, 2023 19:24
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Jim's sits in his dilapidated house, alone in his underwear, holding a picture of Pam and their child. He ashes a cigarette into an overflowing coffee mug with a photo of his grinning face on the side of it.
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Jun 13, 2023 22:14
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Jim begins giving helicopter tours of Scranton, making sure to regularly pass over Schrute Farms at an extremely low altitude. Dwight threatens to report Jim to the FAA. 'Oh, and what's that, Dwight? The Federal rear end in a top hat Association? Because you'd fit right in there!" This gets a small chuckle out of Oscar. Jim notices this and feels a surge of energy flow through his body. "You know, a bunch of assholes shooting poop everywhere! You'd be their mascot! Heck, their president! POOP-sident, even!" "Okay, Jim," Oscar says with a sigh, "you ran it into the ground already. Great job." Jim frowns, then just sits down at his desk and pretends to work for a few hours. Eventually Jim gets up and out of the office for the day. The next morning, on his first tour of the day, Jim deliberately crashes his helicopter into Oscar's house. As Jim is pulling himself out of the rubble, he says "looks like I did run it into the ground" while mugging to the camera.
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Jun 13, 2023 22:24
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Jim, having once again been the lowest paid paper salesman in North America, realizes he needs another revenue source (or "collecting bread" as Jim calls it). He disassembles Dwight's lawn mower, attaches the blades to a PVC frame, and glues a car seat to the frame. "This makeshift helicopter will collect a LOT of bread" Jim grins as he pulls the rip cord, which of course instantly decapitates Jim. The next morning Dwight finds Jim's corpse, but worst of all his lawnmower is in shambles.
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Jun 13, 2023 22:52
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Jim “runs” “Runnin’ Up That Hill” “into the ground” by playing it as nauseam. He also practices for the monthly karaoke contest at Poor Richards by singing all of his sales to the tune.
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Jun 13, 2023 23:05
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Jim shows up to work looking extremely weathered and ancient, as if he's aged decades in a day. Dwight stares at him for a moment, incredulous, trying to find the seams of what he assumes to be expensive makeup prosthetics. "Oh, Dwight. If only that were true," Jim says in a sorrowful voice. "No, what you see before you is a reflection of the nightmarish future. I have been sent back in time to warn you and to try and prevent this future from happening. Gaze upon the Crystal of Foretelling, for it will explain everything!" Jim produces a flat object about the size of a notebook and rapidly taps at its smooth, featureless surface. An image, clear as can be, then floats in the air above it. Dwight is shocked at this display of future technology and instantly believes that this Jim has indeed come from the future. Jim taps at the object again and a video begins to play, showing Jim standing among piles of blackened skeletons. "Watch closely, Dwight. This next part will explain everything." Suddenly, the camera zooms in on future Jim, who pulls his pants down and begins shaking his wrinkled, mole-covered rear end. Jim mugs for the camera, then smashes the Crystal of Foretelling on the ground. A noxious odor rises up from it, along with a small cloud of pink dust. "Heh heh, I still got it! See ya in 8 years, yappazigaloom boy! That's some future speak for ya, you'll figure it out when we meet next!" With that, future Jim fades away, presumably returning to the future. The office is left in stunned silence until Kevin finally speaks. "Did he say 8 years? I thought he was supposed to be like... 80 years old. He looked really bad, do you think he has some disease or something? Is it... is it cancer? Pam, does Jim have cancer?" Pam shrugs at her desk.
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Jun 14, 2023 12:23
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It's Wednesday morning, which finds Jim on the sandy Scranton beaches with his metal detector. Is he searching for coins? Maybe he's searching for lost jewelry in the hopes of reuniting with it's owner? Perhaps he simply derives joy from the fresh ocean air and light exercise? Jim furrows his brow and curses under his breath. Another morning and he hasn't found the lost bomb. It has enough pranktonium to blow up half the Eastern seaboard. "One day they'll laugh. Oh, how they'll laugh."
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Jun 14, 2023 14:18
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Jim's Funny Funeral (The Office) Article Talk Read View source View history The Office (American season 24) "Jim's Funny Funeral" is the thirteenth episode of the twenty-fourth season of the American comedy television series The Office—the show's six hundred and sixty-sixth episode overall. Written by John Krasinski and also directed by Krasinski, the episode originally aired on NBC. In the episode Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) and Pam Halpert (Jenna Fischer) create a fake funeral for Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), only to discover that they've accidentally summoned the Grim Reaper (actor unknown) who now seeks Dwight's immortal soul. The episode was the first original episode of The Office to be solely written and directed by Krasinski, due to the effects of the 2023 Writers Guild of America strike. As such, the atmosphere on the set was much more hectic and disturbing, and the cast broke into tears due to the jokes many times. "Jim's Funny Funeral" received acclaim from critics, with many hailing it as one of the series' best entries. Plot The office workers are stuck working overtime on a major assignment. Dwight jokingly says that the office is 'working everyone to death', prompting Jim and an unwilling Pam to create a fake funeral for Dwight, complete with a newspaper announcement. Hundreds attend the fake funeral, which both delights and enrages Jim. Although his prank has worked, he's jealous of how many people love and admire Dwight. Jim gives the final speech of the funeral but is interrupted by approaching storm clouds. The assembled masses are soon joined by a mysterious cloaked figure who introduces himself as Death, who is seeking Dwight's soul. Jim finds this extremely funny and informs Death that he just 'got his bony rear end pranked', as Dwight is still alive and well. Death then turns its sights on Jim, saying that there must be a soul claimed this day or else the balance of life and death will be forever changed. Just as Death is about to carry Jim to the next world, Dwight steps forth. He offers Death his soul on one condition - that Jim be allowed to live. Death is so touched by the selfless action that he leaves, telling Dwight that he's earned himself several extra years of life. Jim then says he knew all of this would happen, and the prank is that Dwight will have to live out a few extra years 'as an old man in a nursing home'. Jim then mugs the camera for 7 uninterrupted minutes. Production Background The Writers Guild of America was on strike at the time of production so Krasinski offered to write and direct the entire episode himself, claiming that he had 'a really great idea for an episode'. Some members of the cast and crew objected to this, both for moral reasons related to the WGA strike and to concerns over Krasinski. NBC allowed the production to go on, however, saying that they 'had to'. Writing and directing "Jim's Funny Funeral" was written by John Krasinski. The episode was directed by Krasinski. Eisenberg and Stupnitsky later noted that, because the episode was the first to be filmed during the strike, there was "a disturbing vibe on set", and as such, many of the actors would break character and cry. The majority of the episode took place at an unnamed cemetery. This was the same location used in the fourth season entry "Chair Model". Contrary to most episodes of the series, in which the scenes and dialogue are scripted, many scenes from "Jim's Funny Funeral" were improvised by the actors, such as Pam vomiting while holding Jim's hand, Andy saying "let me die please" when describing his multiple encounters with Jim, and Jim placing "finger horns" on his head while saying "I' am the un-god, I am the idiot Christ born from the rear end in a top hat of a goat". Death is performed by an unnamed and unknown actor who did not break character while on set. Rainn Wilson described the experience as 'very odd' but later added that he believed the actor might have been 'Mark Hamill or something, he's real good with doing voices'. Cultural references Dwight mentions building a Lego model of Schrute Farms in his free time. Jim then says that Lego Jim should be voiced by Chris Pratt, an allusion to The Lego Movie. Jim can be seen watching Mars Needs Moms in each scene where he appears with a screen of some sort. Upon seeing the thousands of attendees for Dwight's fake funeral, Jim remarks that he hasn't seen this many people in one place "since the last Minions movie", then wanders off screen, presumably to watch said movie.
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Jun 14, 2023 15:05
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dwight receives an unsettling phone notification from his Ring doorbell camera - jim has begun mugging it dwight glances up across the desk at jim, who is sat mugging the webcam on a Teams call, and then glances down at the phone again, troubled. jims mug the cameras.
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Jun 14, 2023 16:37
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awhwtpsotX8
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Jun 14, 2023 16:47
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The sight of Jim awkwardly walking past an ice cream truck inspires a young Don Coscarelli to create The Tall Man and, therefore, the film Phantasm. Dwight is unfortunately forced to acknowledge that Jim has brought some good into this world. That night, Jim explodes of out Dwight's mirror and drags him into an endless void.
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Jun 14, 2023 16:54
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One day Jim turns up to work wearing a full wizards regalia, including false (?) beard and a staff with a knob on the end. Jim really gets into character, saying "Jim? Whomst ist this Jim thoust speak of? I am buts the humble wizard Turdelberry" and repeatedly bonks Dwight over the head with his staff- which upon closer inspection, actually has a light up vibrator strapped to the end. 'Wizard Turdelberry' spends the day drinking moonshine, smoking mushrooms and generally bumming around. He also repeatedly offers to take Pam to 'see his wand' and claims to be able to see through people's clothing. Ultimately Jim commits too much to the bit; gets black-out drunk, falls asleep and pisses himself- a serene and wise mug on his old face.
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Jun 14, 2023 17:05
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Dwight invites the entire office to play a game of Dungeons and Dragons with him as DM, but Jim keeps derailing the game with mentions of "The Wizard Turdelberry". During a particularly dramatic reveal, Jim lets out a loud yawn, cracks his neck, and says that this is "boring" because "The Wizard Turdelberry could easily handle this threat". Creatively, Dwight mentions that Turdelberry has been sealed in a crystal prison between dimensions and can no longer interfere in this realm. "Okay, then let's free him." The rest of the party objects so Jim sets off on his own side-quest, forcing Dwight to incorporate it into the rest of the group's game as well. Everyone else eventually grows tired of this as the hour grows late and most of the time is spent with Jim wandering around the map and yelling out "Turdelberry!" in the vain hope of finding a clue to the wizard's location. The game soon ends as everyone leaves except for Jim. "Okay, now that those losers are gone, we can REALLY focus on finding Turdelberry. Alright, Dwight, let's go check out that tree stump over there." Frustrated, Dwight finally relents and says that the stump contains a book that explains exactly how to free Turdelberry. Jim seems to mull over this for a moment, then mugs and grabs his dice. "I choose to burn the book, as it's OBVIOUSLY cursed. That's too easy a solution! Now then, I scream 'Turdelberry' into the stump a bunch of times. What happens?" Dwight sighs and says that the crystal prison breaks and Turdelberry is freed. "Nah, this must be an illusion. It wouldn't be that easy. I swing my mighty axe at the Turdelberry illusion." Dwight does his secret DM calculations and decides, for the sake of ending the game, to say that Jim has killed the Great Evil and freed the world. "Impossible, Dwight! True evil is never this simple. Let's head over to the city of Akkapolopis, where that Vizier guy was. He's obviously been corrupted by the evil, too!" Irritated and tired, Dwight says that it's 5 am and he's ending the game. He needs to get some sleep. "Oh yeah, tell that to The Wizard Turdelberry. Let him know he can rot in that crystal prison while you lay your fat rear end down and dream about cream puffs. In fact, he's right behind you, tell him right now." A shocked Dwight turns around, only to find no one is behind him. He turns around again to see a mugging Jim who epeatedly bonks Dwight over the head with his staff- which upon closer inspection, actually has a light up vibrator strapped to the end.
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Jun 14, 2023 17:21
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Jam jams a stack through Dwaght's eye. (Earlier, Jim replaced all "I"s in the universe with "A"s, as a prank).
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Jun 14, 2023 19:58
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some of these pranks aren't fun 
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Jun 14, 2023 20:20
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Dwight opens the creamer to pour into his coffee, but his sensative nose realizes the creamer went sour. In a moment of tomfoolery, Dwight playfully tosses the bottle across the break room toward the open trashcan. As it sails through the air, and appears to be on track for a perfect shot, Jim suddenly appears and swats the bottle from the trashcan at the last second, sending sour creamer splattering all over the roof and wall and floor. "Don't, uhh... don't cry over spilled milk, balloon boy!" Jim taunts.
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Jun 14, 2023 20:27
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InsertPotPun posted:some of these pranks aren't fun Personally I just imagine air quotes around fun.
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Jun 14, 2023 20:28
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Jim helicopters his dick around so fast that it flies off and breaks Dwight's glasses.
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Jun 14, 2023 20:53
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InsertPotPun posted:some of these pranks aren't fun "I'm having a great ol' time and that's what counts!" Said Jim, desperately trying to reattach his bloody member, as everyone in the office screams and vomits.
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Jun 14, 2023 20:55
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RickRogers posted:"I'm having a great ol' time and that's what counts!" Meredith steps on it while panicking and slips. She needs to be taken to the hospital.
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Jun 14, 2023 21:45
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Jim comes into the office bragging about discovering a technique for hands-free ejaculation, which he calls "freejaculation." Unfortunately for Dwight, unlike most of Jim's supposed accomplishments, this one is in fact quite impressive.
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Jun 14, 2023 23:34
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Defiance Industries posted:Jim comes into the office bragging about discovering a technique for hands-free ejaculation, which he calls "freejaculation." Unfortunately for Dwight, unlike most of Jim's supposed accomplishments, this one is in fact quite impressive. Pam downs another shot.
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Jun 15, 2023 00:13
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Jim invites Dwight to a charity pancake breakfast, which Dwight gladly accepts. When Dwight gets there, however, he finds Jim with a single skillet, a box of Bisquick, and tears in his eyes. “Dwight! Oh god, I really hosed this up. I thought people were bringing ME pancakes, now I have 600 pissed off crackers out there begging for pancakes! What do I do?” Dwight says he knows the solution - he’s recently developed a beet-based batter that can easily handle this order. He’s about to rush home when Jim stops him. “No, I’ll go get it! You stay here, buddy, and get a good seat! After all, the first beet pancake will be all yours!” Jim drives off before Dwight can realize his folly, but by then it’s too late. Jim planned all of this so Dwight would end up in this VFW with 600 angry and hungry Scrantonites. But why? Dwight doesn’t have to wait long for his answer, as suddenly the roof collapses and thousands of pancakes pour onto the people below. Syrup begins oozing out of the ductwork and thick, creamy butter bubbles up from the floor. Although annoying and disgusting, Dwight avoids any mortal danger and finds this a pretty underwhelming prank. That is, until he realizes that Jim has had unfettered access to Schrute Farms. Dwight rushes home and, thankfully, finds the entire house untouched. Indeed, there’s no obvious signs of Jim and it appears as if the entire prank was just based around the gross pancake thing from before. Dwight lets out a sigh of relief and decides to relax with a nice pancake breakfast. As he opens his refrigerator to grab some butter he realizes the true depravity of Jim and falls to his knees screaming in horror. Miles away, almost at the Mexican border by now, Jim pats the stick of butter slowly melting in his lap. Dwight’s butter; at least it used to be. Soon, Jim will be across the border and free from the US court system and their anti-butter theft laws. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Jun 15, 2023 03:22
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Jim appears at work wearing long brown robes, a crown of thorns, sandals, and appears.to have grown a beard. He looks exactly like Jesus Christ of Jesus had been white. Jim walks over.to Oscar and places a hand on his shoulder. A halo of light casts.down from the ceiling and envelops Oscar. Jim calmly explains - "Oscar, I forgive you for your sins, and I heal you from your gayness." Oscar furrows his brow, unsure what to make of this spectacle, and suddenly desiring to see Phyllis shake her cans. Jim turns around and bellows, his voice booming across the office. "And for my next miracle, I will feed everyone in the office with just five loafs of bread and two fish." And with that proclamation, Jim pulls out a French baguette hidden in the sleeve of his robe and begins breaking it in half. Each time the baguette breaks, a slippery salmon drops from Jim's robes onto the thin office carpet, spraying roe and seafoam everywhere. Within minutes Dwight finds himself chest deep in wriggling fish and soggy bread. As he trudges toward the exit, he feels fish squishing under his feet. But he's only able to make it a few feet from his desk before the gasping fish cover his head. His glasses are slapped off by a fish tail.
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Jun 15, 2023 04:20
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Jim transforms into the most dangerous animal of all to haunt and torment Dwight. Fortunately for Dwight this is a mosquito. Unfortunately for Dwight Jim stings Dwight between the toes. Fortunately for Dwight the sting causes Dwight to press his toes together squashing Jim. And so Dwight lives happily ever after.
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Jun 15, 2023 11:59
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"HALPERTRON - PRANKERIZE!" Jim stands up from his desk, lets out a mighty screech, and then his body begins to twist and turn. Limbs fold in on themselves, accompanied by a sickening crunch of bone and wet squelches as soft tissue folds over itself. Jim's body contorts and changes, eventually becomes a flesh-colored 3 foot tall stapler. "JESUS CHRIST!" Oscar yells in disgust and fright, toppling over his chair as he runs from the office. As he approaches the door, however, he's knocked over by Jim's racecar bed, which his driving itself into the office. "BACHELOR BED - PRANKERIZE!" Mechanical whirrs and grinding issue forth from Jim's bed as it transforms itself into a 6 foot tool mechanical man. It stands proudly next to the fleshly stapler that was once Jim. The stapler vibrates slightly, presumably moving its vocal cords to speak, and a raspy voice wheezes out of the front of the stapler. "Now then, who dares stand against the combined might of the Prankertrons?" Something red and wet flops out of the stapler as it finishes "speaking", causing Ryan to vomit at his desk. "Hey Jim?" Meredith asks, covering her face so as to not gaze upon this profane scene, "Dwight's on vacation. For 2 weeks. Were you aware of that before you did... all of... this?" "My title is now Halpertron and no, I was unaware of Dwight's vacation. Is he perhaps doing a stay-cation, so I could easily head over to his house and continue this?" Yellow-green spittle flies from Jim's new flesh-hinge, and something that looks like bile is oozing from his base. "No, he and Angela went to Connecticut. Or Delaware maybe? One of those states." "Oh," Jim responds, "uh... do you know which one for sure?" "Not a clue. Maybe is was Massachusetts?" "IT IS KIND OF IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THIS," asks Bachelor Bed in a booming voice, "WE AREN'T JUST MADE OF MONEY HERE. WE CAN'T JUST TRAVEL AROUND THE COUNTRY LOOKING FOR DWIGHT." "Sure," responds Meredith, "you guys have a LOT of other stuff going on right now." Meredith rolls her eyes for the camera. "WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S HALPERTRON'S THING!"
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Jun 15, 2023 15:07
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| # ? May 30, 2024 17:47 |
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On a dark and rainy night, Jim shows up on Dwight's front porch. Expecting a prank, Dwight cautiously opens the door, only to find Jim standing there with tears streaming down his face. "Dwight, I gotta... this has to end." Dwight welcomes Jim inside and gives him a towel to dry off with. Jim thanks his, then begins to speak. His hands are shaking but his words are unusually focused and serious. "I've been pranking you for so long now, sometimes I forget where the pranks end and Jim begins. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, all I can think about is pranking you. And it's fun, Dwight. It's fun as hell. But I started to wonder... why do I do it? It's a compulsion now, an addiction. I can't stop, not on my own. So I'm coming to you, asking for help. I don't want to prank you any more. I need to stop the cycle of pranking that's been going on for my entire life. Dwight, can you help me?" Dwight says he would be honored to, whatever Jim needs. "Thank you, thank you so much. There's a prank addiction center outside of town, I want you to drive me out there. Listen... I might start to regret this, I may even tell you not to take me there. But whatever you do, get me into that center. They've dealt with people like me before, they'll know what to do. Whatever I do or say, make sure you get my scrawny rear end into that building. Do you understand?" Dwight nods. "Good. Now then, it's located over in Bofa, Pennsylvania. Have you herad of Bofa before?" Dwight says that he hasn't. "BOFA DEEZ NUTS!" Jim violently grabs his crotch, cackles, and then runs out the door. As he does, tears start to stream down his face again. The addiction is too strong.
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Jun 15, 2023 15:40
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