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The highs generally outweigh the lows for me with 2. My second kids is so dang rad. He’s smart and social, loves to sing and dance and has fantastic humor. The times when he and his big sister are playing together and feeding off each other in a positive way have so much emergent play. They’re building a culture and developing ways of communicating and being all their own. Yeah I have a lot of work to do, I get frustrated and tired. But the highs more than make up for the lows and I see it getting easier every day. I probably have brain damage and want a third just so I get a chance to meet them and see who they are going to be.
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Jun 27, 2023 21:11
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I have a good thing going with my first, he sleeps at night and is just super easy to take care of. I don’t want to gently caress it up with a second lol.
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Jun 27, 2023 21:13
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Dobbs_Head posted:The highs generally outweigh the lows for me with 2. My second kids is so dang rad. He’s smart and social, loves to sing and dance and has fantastic humor. The times when he and his big sister are playing together and feeding off each other in a positive way have so much emergent play. They’re building a culture and developing ways of communicating and being all their own.  our second is a complete nutcase and pulls the older one out of her nervous shell. it's really cute to see her be her older sister's dumbo's feather. the reasons against having a third for us are mostly economic and my wife doesn't want to be pregnant again. if we could afford it and could adopt a baby or toddler or something we would really consider it
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Jun 27, 2023 21:19
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Skeezy posted:I have a good thing going with my first, he sleeps at night and is just super easy to take care of. I don’t want to gently caress it up with a second lol. they say that your second child is the opposite of your first in every way which means that my second child might actually be the antichrist
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Jun 27, 2023 21:23
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"The factory is closed."
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Jun 27, 2023 21:28
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majestic12 posted:
The economics are super frustrating. My wife and I make really good incomes even for our HCOL area, but even so 3 kids will stretch us financially. Some things I factor in to that calculation is that childcare costs do ease with public schooling, there is like 10 to 15 years before college, our incomes have generally risen over the last 5-10 years, and once the kids are adults they start pulling more of their own financial weight. It still sucks to be so squeezed at this stage of life. What the hell is the point of money but to enable families?
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Jun 27, 2023 21:44
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My usual warning to this thread: if you say you want two, and only two, and try for two, you may end up with twins in your second pregnancy... So you'll end up with three.
killer crane fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Jun 27, 2023 |
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Jun 27, 2023 22:11
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Dobbs_Head posted:The economics are super frustrating. My wife and I make really good incomes even for our HCOL area, but even so 3 kids will stretch us financially. Heck, nowadays they can start working at McDonalds at 13 or 14 so they'll start contributing 5 years sooner. If that's part of your economic analysis.
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Jun 27, 2023 22:52
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In my models I’m forecasting significant wage growth between ages 14-18 for my third and fourth children
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Jun 27, 2023 23:02
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sullat posted:Heck, nowadays they can start working at McDonalds at 13 or 14 so they'll start contributing 5 years sooner. If that's part of your economic analysis. You gotta factor in long range earning potential against the time value of money. Really optimize the economic return on those kids.
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Jun 28, 2023 00:12
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LOL my 2-year-old just called Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast “coffee grandma” 
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Jun 28, 2023 00:40
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Man my daughter is really upset about mosquito bites Nobody likes them, hon. Yeah it sucks rear end. Yeah I hate mosquitoes. Yeah I wish they didn't exist either. No I don't wish it were winter just so there'd be no mosquitoes.
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Jun 28, 2023 01:47
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killer crane posted:My usual warning to this thread: if you say you want two, and only two, and try for two, you may end up with twins in your second pregnancy... So you'll end up with three. Lol I know someone who now has two very adorable tiny babies because of just this. Other favorite are the friends who adopted because of fertility issues and then almost instantly got pregnant.
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Jun 28, 2023 02:14
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killer crane posted:My usual warning to this thread: if you say you want two, and only two, and try for two, you may end up with twins in your second pregnancy... So you'll end up with three. Twins has been cool and all but yeah……adding that third kid just fucks a lot of things up. Hotels are harder, vehicle requirements are different, going man to man to zone is a hell of an adjustment, etc etc. I like to joke that I can prove I’ve had sex at least twice, I have three kids!
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Jun 28, 2023 02:47
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One of my good friends had one kid, tried for another and had twins. Her husband got a vasectomy after that. However, vasectomies are only 99% effective and now they are expecting baby #4.
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Jun 28, 2023 02:50
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Koivunen posted:One of my good friends had one kid, tried for another and had twins. Her husband got a vasectomy after that. However, vasectomies are only 99% effective and now they are expecting baby #4. Dog don’t do this to me
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Jun 28, 2023 03:20
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Koivunen posted:One of my good friends had one kid, tried for another and had twins. Her husband got a vasectomy after that. However, vasectomies are only 99% effective and now they are expecting baby #4. This story makes me want an orchiectomy.
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Jun 28, 2023 03:24
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Koivunen posted:One of my good friends had one kid, tried for another and had twins. Her husband got a vasectomy after that. However, vasectomies are only 99% effective and now they are expecting baby #4. This was my SIL's babies 4 & 5. Husband slinked off to get a vasectomy without discussing it with her and came back post-op to tell her that shop had shut, and she told him she was pregnant with #6. I was insistent on 2, husband wanted 1, I got my way on 2 and holy poo poo my daughter is a force of nature we're definitely done.
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Jun 28, 2023 03:45
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Koivunen posted:One of my good friends had one kid, tried for another and had twins. Her husband got a vasectomy after that. However, vasectomies are only 99% effective and now they are expecting baby #4. Skeezy posted:Dog don’t do this to me
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Jun 28, 2023 03:49
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Silent Linguist posted:LOL my 2-year-old just called Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast “coffee grandma” My 2 year old calls The Lion King "Big Kitties" and his favorite song is The Monkey Song (The Circle of Life because Rafiki is in it)
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Jun 28, 2023 05:35
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Skeezy posted:I have a good thing going with my first, he sleeps at night and is just super easy to take care of. I don’t want to gently caress it up with a second lol. Saaame. My daughter is 6 now and we didn’t have most of the issues I read about in this thread, great sleeper, no tantrums at all. We can reason with her, it‘s amazing! The law of averages works in the other direction too so we won‘t have a second one.
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Jun 28, 2023 06:46
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Now that we have Ms. 1.25 years old into daycare full days, after the first year of newborn to baby to small toddler stages, having her out of the house in the daytime has the same effect on me that walking out of a loud concert into the quiet night always did. like my ears were ringing in the quiet for the first month or so she was gone full days, it was great and weird at the same time. we're talking about trying for #2 at some point, both of us had a couple years between ourselves and younger siblings, so it's a question of timing and then a future question of where we put the both of them once they're bigger. Definitely not thinking of #3 ever, that's way too much of a change, plus the whole zone versus man thing as well. Both of us come from families of 4, that seems like a good stopping place.
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Jun 28, 2023 11:33
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killer crane posted:My usual warning to this thread: if you say you want two, and only two, and try for two, you may end up with twins in your second pregnancy... So you'll end up with three. During our first ultrasound for #2, sono tech says "Yeah so it looks like there's two in here-" me: aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAH- "-but that's just the sac" My willingness for a 2nd is purely selfish. My first is a wonderful, loving, sweet kid and he's great in so many ways. Unfortunately his temperament is exactly like his mother and I'm not sure I can live the rest of my life being outnumbered like that. My wife and I are opposites in most ways, siblings are usually opposites, I'm a 2nd child and nothing like my older brother. This kid's gonna turn out exactly like me. Or he better at least, else I'm gonna go insane.
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Jun 28, 2023 11:56
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Renegret posted:Unfortunately his temperament is exactly like his mother and I'm not sure I can live the rest of my life being outnumbered like that. My wife and I are opposites in most ways, siblings are usually opposites, I'm a 2nd child and nothing like my older brother. This kid's gonna turn out exactly like me. Or he better at least, else I'm gonna go insane. This is exactly what happened with us. My son is my husband in almost every way. Then I had my mini-me. Two of me is enough for one family.
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Jun 28, 2023 12:46
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Renegret posted:During our first ultrasound for #2, sono tech says Our first ultrasound for my wife's second pregnancy went like this: Mt wife and me: head into the ultrasound all happy to see our new fetus. Tech: all smiles "did you know there's two in there?" My wife: starts sobbing (not happy tears) Me: "that's not funny" Tech: "I'm not joking" Me: "it's not funny" Tech: "I wouldn't joke about this" So I'm holding my crying wife, the tech has no idea how to handle this situation, and just leaves to go get my wife's OB. One of my wife's siblings has twins, and had a nightmare pregnancy, and their marriage has been falling apart partly because of the stress of having twins. We also could barely afford two at the time, and had a two bedroom house, and it did not seem like good news at the time. Part of me wants to be like "oh that poor ultrasound tech, she was so blindsided by our reaction," but at the same time it's weird not to anticipate that kind of reaction will happen some of the time.
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Jun 28, 2023 13:10
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Early in our relationship, I was the one who was interested in kids and I thought I wanted two. At the time, my now wife wasn't sure she wanted any at all. After we had our first, suddenly things shifted and I was the one more hesitant about a second. Our son is so good and his newborn stage was so loving easy compared to some of the horror stories I've heard. It made me nervous and, frankly, I really enjoyed the family dynamic we had made. My wife, though, really wanted a second now that we'd had one and I wasn't really opposed to it, so now we have another coming in November. I think it's going to be a good decision in the long run but gently caress me I'm not looking forward to those first few months if the new baby is a bad sleeper or chronic cluster feeder. I always respected single parents as the child of one, but my estimation of single parents rose so much after having a kid. I just don't know how it's done.
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Jun 28, 2023 14:20
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It would’ve been nice to have twins the second go round. I can deal with the newborn phase a second time but a third when I’m pushing 40? Nah. But, my kid unironically says ‘yippie!’ while skipping down the hall and it’s the best
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Jun 28, 2023 14:28
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Everyone says that kids 1 and 2 are always opposites of each other, but my little moon demons are basically 95% alike. Just 2 straight up clones of me. My poor wife passed down a few physical things but personality wise they’re just mini me’s. They’re only 3 and 1 but they already butt heads like Godzilla and mothra. Send help
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Jun 28, 2023 14:42
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Everyone keeps saying our two girls will be best friends, and as someone with three sisters (and a brother but whatever) my response is always "more like best frenemies." Also as the fourth of five children, I think two is a very good number of children and I'm happy to stop here tyvm.
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Jun 28, 2023 15:08
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Five is a good number. Basketball starts with five. Five represents prosperity and Mercury, the coolest planet.
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Jun 28, 2023 15:28
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A Bad King posted:Five is a good number. Basketball starts with five. Five represents prosperity and Mercury, the coolest planet. Sorry, Mercury hasn't been cool since Sailor Moon came out. You have to have 7 kids to achieve that.
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Jun 28, 2023 15:39
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There's always a risk that the seventh is a son, who will have also more likely than not have a seventh son. Have you thought of that?
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Jun 28, 2023 16:05
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meanolmrcloud posted:I can deal with the newborn phase a second time but a third when I’m pushing 40?
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Jun 28, 2023 19:11
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We were on the same page from the start when it came to stopping at two kids and it was definitely the right decision. Our second is just over a month old now and unlike her older 2.5-year-old sister, she sleeps and wakes for food like clockwork and it has been a million times easier on my wife and I. I can't imagine adding another little demon to the fold
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Jun 28, 2023 22:40
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My wife had a very traumatic birth experience, was 66 hours in active labor and had a c-section. The first thing a nurse said to her as they wheeled her out? "don't worry honey, the way we sewed you up you'll be very likely to have a vaginal birth for your next one" I'm pretty sure that moment was when she was one and done, which, originally she was on the fence about.
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Jun 28, 2023 22:50
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My son is wailing like the silent hill alarm because we’re out of cottage cheese. I love having a toddler, but good lord, the things they get upset about.
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Jun 29, 2023 01:21
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We just finished a two hour long arts and crafts project / business deal / pitch meeting / intervention to create a Sleep Chart and convince the 2.5 year old to sleep in his room again. We will see how it goes.
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Jun 29, 2023 01:50
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remigious posted:My son is wailing like the silent hill alarm because we’re out of cottage cheese. I love having a toddler, but good lord, the things they get upset about. This was my kid tonight, she gleefully stacked all the pillows and blankets on her dad and then started sobbing uncontrollably because we moved the pillows not her. Thankfully she's now asleep Edit - we might have gotten lucky with the nursery school we looked at today and she might be starting 2 days a week next week, fingers crossed. I'm scared but excited
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Jun 29, 2023 01:59
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space uncle posted:We just finished a two hour long arts and crafts project / business deal / pitch meeting / intervention to create a Sleep Chart and convince the 2.5 year old to sleep in his room again. Cribs are for closers
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Jun 29, 2023 02:10
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My daughter is furiously insistent that "bomb" is a genre of music
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Jun 29, 2023 02:45
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