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He stabs people when it rains it snows, when he has a cold (sneeze into your elbow and wash your hands before stabbing your next person), and is really nice and stabs old ladies trying to cross the street.
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Mar 11, 2023 17:55
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I'm not from America so I'm not sure how the stab economy works over there. Am I supposed to tip the stabby guy when he stabs me?
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Mar 12, 2023 00:35
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Croccers posted:I'm not from America so I'm not sure how the stab economy works over there. Am I supposed to tip the stabby guy when he stabs me? danish stabby union just voted, we get 4% col raise over next 2 years which i guess is ok. its not 8% lol. but worse: now they can fire you if you dont stab someone at least once per day. i know it doesnt sound like that many but call in sick once and youre behind were gettin fuckin americanized so yes, you should tip your stabby guy. maybe someone in turn will tip you when you stab stem
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Mar 12, 2023 00:57
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https://www.theonion.com/irish-americans-gear-up-for-the-reinforcin-o-the-stereo-1819586600 Still wonderful and one of my favorite pics they’ve ever done.
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Mar 17, 2023 23:44
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https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1638277069929959475 The Onion doesn't miss.
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Mar 21, 2023 22:13
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I really like this one: My Novel Addresses Universal Themes Of Humanity And Has loving https://www.theonion.com/my-novel-addresses-universal-themes-of-humanity-and-has-1819583941 (look at the author's name)
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Mar 22, 2023 16:49
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https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/1645469187203006487
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Apr 10, 2023 18:01
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I'm happy and positive all the time instead. It owns.
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Apr 10, 2023 18:11
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Grats on being poor, apparently.
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Apr 11, 2023 12:53
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having been broke and having money, I'll take having money, please.
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Apr 11, 2023 21:46
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Clarence Thomas Receives New Friendship Bracelet From Harlan Crow
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Apr 13, 2023 22:47
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lmao
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Apr 13, 2023 23:04
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https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1651964764594003972 What’s great is if you scroll back to this every half hour there’s seven more blue checks to block.
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Apr 29, 2023 02:40
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Nucleic Acids posted:https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1651964764594003972
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Apr 29, 2023 02:52
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All the stupidest people in the world are here to protect the white boots squeaker
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Apr 29, 2023 03:44
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https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1662904098880978948
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May 28, 2023 21:04
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Ron DeSantis Runs Crying Out Of Child’s Birthday Party After Surprise Visit From Elsa
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Jun 3, 2023 20:57
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Angel Investors Flock To New AI Technology That Removes Jeffrey Epstein From Old Photos Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
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Jun 15, 2023 21:45
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvssfK8nal4 One of my all-time favorites.
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Jun 16, 2023 16:04
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SimonChris posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvssfK8nal4 wow so tru. i cry ever time
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Jun 16, 2023 16:14
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https://www.theonion.com/orcas-explain-why-they-are-attacking-boats-1850545449
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Jun 16, 2023 21:31
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https://www.theonion.com/nick-cannon-celebrates-father-s-month-1850544102
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Jun 17, 2023 06:33
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https://www.theonion.com/trump-spends-contemplative-morning-in-office-tapping-go-1850562775
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Jun 24, 2023 22:56
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I Decided To Become A Slave So One Day My Descendants Could Steal College Admissions Spots French Again Protest In Way Americans Are Welcome To At Any Time
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Jun 30, 2023 20:12
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https://hard-drive.net/hd/list/every-mario-kart-character-ranked-by-how-likely-they-are-to-get-a-dui/
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Jul 7, 2023 21:45
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Ragnar34 posted:https://hard-drive.net/hd/list/every-mario-kart-character-ranked-by-how-likely-they-are-to-get-a-dui/ 53 characters already? o brother i skipped to that last ones and they were some of them funny. thanks yous.
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Jul 8, 2023 09:22
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Idk, "as a police officer Bowser is your boss so take your frustrations out on your family" is pretty funny
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Jul 9, 2023 18:13
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zimbomonkey posted:Idk, "as a police officer Bowser is your boss so take your frustrations out on your family" is pretty funny They had a similar joke in "Mortal Kombat characters ranked according how great they would be as your spouse". Stryker was ranked pretty low with the caption just "40%". I also laughed at Shinnok being the husband who would pretend to listen to you but have actually been browsing memes on Reddit the whole time, and not even on a subreddit but r/all.
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Jul 10, 2023 02:49
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Cucumber Is Everywhere, So Why Are People Still Fat?
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Jul 10, 2023 18:33
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https://clickhole.com/a-time-of-ple...an-entire-year/
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Jul 28, 2023 03:49
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Hell in the 90s people would just quote some super bowl ad until the next super bowl
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Jul 29, 2023 06:58
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Deep Glove Bruno posted:Hell in the 90s people would just quote some super bowl ad until the next super bowl WAZZZAAAAA it wont print. it wont print? did you jiggle the cable? ive fallen, and i cant get up wheres the beef? im not even american 
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Jul 29, 2023 13:09
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Advertisements are like 15 to 60 second films, so if you're really lucky you can get some really memorable little narratives.
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Jul 29, 2023 13:39
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Aramek posted:Advertisements are like 15 to 60 second films, so if you're really lucky you can get some really memorable little narratives. indeed, even someties loong looong loooooooong ones
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Jul 29, 2023 13:50
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I only remember the one where the Clydesdales bowed toward mecca
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Jul 30, 2023 21:57
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CH6p0kD4EE
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Aug 4, 2023 02:25
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https://www.theonion.com/hot-cousin-knows-it-1850736738
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Aug 17, 2023 03:18
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Aug 17, 2023 12:25
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Aramek posted:Advertisements are like 15 to 60 second films, so if you're really lucky you can get some really memorable little narratives. Yesterday you said you'd call Sears 
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Aug 17, 2023 14:17
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I'll call today!
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Aug 17, 2023 15:51
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