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Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.

I was not expecting a Total Recall reference in this game.

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prisoner of waffles
May 8, 2007

Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the fishmech
About my neck was hung.

RubberBands Hurt posted:

Uhh, did you hear the foul things this "ape god" considered to be funny??

Oboroqoru, the Ape God is hated by the Posters of SomethingAwful for enjoying the wrong leftist podcast(s).

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus


Back in Ezra, it's time to prepare for our visit to the Rainbow Woods. Let's start by making a friend!




Technology is amazing.




Birds speak random text, generated by a markov chain like the random books are.



He's cute but would die right away in an actual fight, so we'll let him just chill in town.



We've also got a good supply of love injectors. That big rep historic site was a fungal patch, so a lot of legendaries we met were friends to fungi. Our fungus reputation is currently around -2,000, and while that might be small potatoes compared to the -14,000 we have with the cult, it's still very firmly in "kill on sight" territory. Pax Klanq is a fungi and I'm not actually sure if all this negative fungi rep will make him hostile or not - worst case scenario, we may need to charm him so we can talk.



The rainbow woods are south of Ezra. Our first hint is to "seek the heart of the rainbow", which translates pretty literally:



We need to reach the center screen on that tile. It's only three steps away, but of course there's a catch.



When you try to cross the Rainbow Woods on the world map, you always get lost.



So here's the Rainbow Woods. There's lots of mushrooms around. Most of them are just obstacles, but occasionally we'll see those purple ones that puff on you when you get next to them.



Instead of water, there are rivers of primordial soup crossing through the area.



But there are no other living creatures on the map, so it's easy to walk north to the next screen.



Here we see the other main feature of the Woods: giant fungal weeps.




Each weep gets a random liquid type, and generates massive pools of it within 2 tiles of itself. They'll only spawn with normal liquids (no 500 dram pools of neutron flux or cloning draught), but are otherwise not restricted and will replace missing liquid over time. You can even find freshwater weeps, giving you an infinite source of money, if you're willing to make enough trips ferrying waterskins back and forth.



Going north again we reach the jungle and regain our bearings.



Since we can't just walk in on the world map, it's best to line ourselves up ahead of time. We go here, as close to the center as we can get



And then zoom in manually. This drops us in the center of a jungle tile, with our goal exactly 6 screens due south.




We cook a meal with a rare ingredient we bought from the kipper in the stilt once we enter. You might think that with all the fungi around we'd want the itchy skin protection meal, but spores aren't actually much of a concern here. The puffing mushrooms aren't too common, and as long as we don't step through the mushrooms blindly we shouldn't have any trouble avoiding them. Instead, I'm going for an offensive mutation.



Cooking with an elder *beard gland always gives you the level 10 version of their breath mutation. They're pretty great skills - good damage, huge aoe, very short cooldown.



Just look at that area! This should be good if we needed to fight a large number of enemies, for some reason.



When you cook for a breath mutation your face gear will get unequipped for some vapor, but you can actually just open the equip menu and put it back on - I think the unequipping is a holdover from when they blocked the face slot.



Heading south a screen we find more primordial soup and another honey weep, but this time they're overlapping a bit.

So far, you might wonder what's supposed to be scary about the rainbow wood, since nothing is very dangerous and the weeps can be extremely beneficial. Well, this is the answer.



We head south, and make it to the next screen before anything happens, but we won't always be able to do so.



The next screen is quieter, so we can catch out breath a bit.

The way these mushrooms are laid out makes it so we can't walk past without potentially turning a blind corner into a puffing shroom and getting spores on us.



But with a flamethrower it's pretty easy to clear a path.



We grab some cider from a cider weep and continue south.




The next screen doesn't look bad at first, but the message log warns us that something is up.




We take a fairly direct path south, passing by an oil weep to fill up our flamethrower.

Remember this terrain, by the way. We'll be back here later.



The next screen south is the heart of the woods.



Following us is our first monosludge, the product of those reactions we're tried to avoid.



Sludges are born when any liquid mixes with a large enough pool of primordial soup, and have unique effects in melee depending on the liquid they're made from. Since the weeps and rivers both contain tons of liquid, any place they overlap is an effectively infinite spawning pool of sludges. The maps don't spawn with any mobile hostiles directly, but hanging out too long on the wrong screens can see you get swarmed by sludges.



In a 1 on 1 fight, though? Turns out a flamethrower beats a living pile of oil pretty easily.





In the center of the screen we find a strange looking patch of mushrooms with a nearby corpse.




Whoever they were, they were carrying a credit wedge and a scroll. It's not really relevant to our quest, but let's read it and see if we can learn what happened to them.

Scroll bound by a strand of kelp posted:

9th of Kisu Ux
I come from the west. My parents sold me into slavery as a babe, though the practice had been formally abolished in Perth years earlier. As a boy I cut my teeth on the reefs of the Shore of Songs, and lulled the Pale Sea to sleep with many a hymn, that she might return our sailors from the Black Stair unscathed. How the melodies whisked inside my skull even then. I was given no name at birth, but the sailors called me Catu.

At five and ten years I ran away. On Ettinspine I roosted with an eremite who ushered me into manhood. I learned to hunt, and laugh, and dream. In time I came to know of the Free City and the ingress afforded my kind. I shoved off from my stony nook, and trekked to their high gate, and settled there, though I preferred to sup with the anglers and other low folk.

In a sun-warmed pool under the rampart the Free Seer first noticed me. The slant of his neck from where he watched on the parapet presaged my movements, I still recall. I stood from my bath and shamefully padded to my discarded vest, but stopped. I saw him from that distance, his eyes tucked deep into his shorn dome, his frock as inert as a statue's, and I felt no more shame.

Under his tutelage I rose to prominence in his court. I stood by his side as he treated with the tuyuldars of Odrum, as he plotted against the southern freeholds. When a traitorous canter slipped poison into his cup, I smashed it from his hands and sundered the quisling's mind. That night, in the hour of the Beetle Moon, he introduced me to the mirth of an assembled mind. Together with the other canters we Joined, and he named me Mirthful, and raised me unto his honor guard. I would be dispossessed of it in under a year.

But I must pause now. The Cant loudens, and the Elder nears. I vow to conclude my story if I still draw breath, and if I am free.

16th of Kisu Ux

It is dusk. I sit on the bank of the River Svy, but no fire warms my bones. The risk of drawing moon-doting beasts is too great, and any aggregation of minds is sure to attract the attention of the Elder. Instead, I write by a flame kindled on my thumb.

I left off at being named Mirthful in the Hall of the Free Seer. No honor is higher for a canter of Oth. For months I trained with my masked compatriots beneath the Hall, where our clay cisterns stored the freshwater that would later haunt my dreams. In the spring a letter arrived from the Angler King. He sought a treaty with the Free Seer and invited us to a neutral council on the doorstep of Ibunudr, arbitrated by the tuyuldar of Doria. After much preparation we set out, rowing our sketties beyond the Bowl of Iris and to the frosty shores of that far tundra.

Over the course of the journey the Free Seer's disposition soured. He withdrew from the counsel of the Mirthful, even my own, and spent the better part of the wintry trek alone in his tent. At first I attributed his mood to the fragility of our diplomatic high ground, but I soon learned the true tack.

We arrived at the camp on Ibunudr on the summer solstice. The twin banners of Athenreach and Doria thrashed in the wind, and the hymns of the Eustace-Sutta carried. I remember smiling at the throaty crooning of their priests. As we studied the campground from a hillock, as the Free Seer ambled up to my side, I saw the jewel of the Hanging Hills, Nisramet, the Angler King's wife, she who cemented the peace between her father's fiefdoms and the Angler King's freehold. I saw her, and I immediately knew my own treachery. The Free Seer's gaze was acknowledgement enough.

2nd of Tebet Ux

I've arrived at Kyakukya. Kind Nuntu shares his hut with me, offers me smoked mushroom, and asks nothing in return. I write these words at his desk, and though he lusts for knowledge himself, he leaves me be to chronicle my past.

The campaign back toward Oth was grim. I awaited my fate at the Free Seer's hands, though I anticipated being given the dignity of first returning to the Hall and my home. I was not afforded so much. One dismal night, under the Beetle Moon, I was accosted in my tent by my masked brothers. To my bewilderment, the Stithening had come already. How had the Free Seer acquired the cherrydotters? Had he bargained for them at Ibunudr, or had he possessed them all along? To this day I do not know.

I remember little of the Stithening outside the beating of my own heart high in my ears. I passed out, and when I awoke next morning, the cavalcade had vanished. Only a moment did my recognition last before the chanting in my head took hold. I had heard it before, of course. All my life, in fact. It was the chanting that I weaved my melodies around on the shores of Perth as a small boy. Now, though, it was as if a single, distant canter had summoned a thousand of his kin, and they each summoned a thousand of their own. I wept, then I screamed, then I tore the hair from my head. The chant animated my bones more surely than my volition ever had. East and south, it urged. East and south. East and south. Toward Qud.

My recollection of the voyage to the Great Salt Desert is fractured and fitful. I grew sicker by the day, but the chant grew louder, and so quickened the force that compelled me. Surely I would die once I reached the moistureless plains of Moghra'yi, presumably as had my predecessors before me. Finally, I did reach them, where a salt-churned rivulet dried under a golden arch. The arch seems a thing born of my dementia but that I recall it so vividly, and that I know it's the least of the secrets kept by Moghra'yi.

24th of Tebet Ux

I edge closer to the grove of fungi and its preposterous promise. Are the whispers true? Could it be all so simple? I can feel the moistness of the Eater's flesh on my lips, though the memory is surely another's. If salvation awaits me, then I promise to take it, whether or not I deserve it. Tonight, though, the jungle shrouds me. I sit under a chrome belfry, a leech kneading at my skin. I feel no compulsion to bar its work. The companionship is welcome.

Now to awaken the past once more. Moghra'yi. O, how the dromads know!

How did I survive the Great Desert? I cannot say for sure. I owe something to the songs I sang at Perth, to the falconry I learned on Ettinspine, to the honing of my sinew under Oth. The fractured dream that was my voyage offers little elucidation. But I do remember chewing salt, and summoning gusts of wind to suck the moisture out of the dead air.

Of all the riven memories that churn in my head, Moghra'yi only accounts for a coherent three. The first is a vision of ruin at the fabled Kubrisyeti, the seat of the Wrathchild empire. Stretched across the alabaster plain were the last of their wicked structures, toppled effigies of the manscorpions themselves. I reposed there, against my will and only out of exhaustion. Fixated on the night sky in fear and fatigue, I heard the echoes of a great saltback's steps. Even those gargantuans know to avoid the place.

The second memory is the presence of the giants. Colossal skeletons in the forms of humanoids litter the desert. I had heard the accounts before, and indeed some of the specimens extend as far north as Odrum. Their history is wholly unknown to us or anyone else, but their bones provide some of the only shade on the salt pans, and so they grew to be welcome sights. So it was with horror that I discerned a truth, one night, while tucked into the rib cage of one of three cadavers in a small proximity. You see, all the carcasses shared a commonality: their orientation. East and south. East and south.

The third memory is the rust. Rusted hulls and rusted spires. It took me weeks to realize what I beheld. For all my boyhood was rife with sketties and ships, but none were of this size. I envisioned what the past must have looked like, as little sense as it made to me. Moghra'yi as a vast sea, and monstrous vessels mounting its waves. Markings and etches on their hulls had no resonance for me then. Later, though, I recognized the figure of the Spindle, and I glimpsed the importance it held for these sea-faring Eaters.

When I lurched to the ground and was righted by a brown-skinned man with a knife, a glowing cat at his feet, I knew it was a dream. It must be a dream.

1st of Shwut Ux

I owe my life to birds. In my haste to reach the fungal grove, I misstepped. My wandering and buoyant mind blinded itself to the presence of a chosen one. She neared me, set on enveloping me back into the fold, but she was intercepted by birds. For what purpose did they intercede I do not know, but they have my thanks. So must they have the Elder's ire.

I come now to Qud and the Seekers of the Sightless Way. The chanting compounded in my skull into a final ecstasy, wherein I joined an aggregate mind the likes of which I hadn't fathomed. I was primed for it, though. From my first joining on Ettinspine all those years ago, to the Rite of Mirth chaperoned by the Free Seer, I knew that sight guides us no more than salt does. There is ecstasy in the aggregate, indeed, and the Elder is as powerful a center as I've known. But a center is it still, and where there is a center, there is a hierarchy.

Which piece of my past endowed me with the wisdom to see through the ruse? Was it the boyhood memory of crashing waves on the Shore of Songs, echoed later in my vision at Moghra'yi? Was it the jealousy in the eyes of the Free Seer at Ibunudr? Or was it a mere wrinkle in the mass mind, owing nothing to my own struggle? I cannot say, but while the other canters piped their songs to weaken the Elder's prison, unknowing thralls to a greater mind, I escaped.

The Elder... no, Ptoh. I write the name in defiance of my captivity even at the risk it incurs. Ptoh knew nothing at first, but my absence dawned in time. The continuity was broken, and Ptoh sent agents to seize me. Even now, they near.

The Ides of Shwut Ux

It is too late. Though I sit near a stream of primordial soup, though clouds of spores surround me, it is too late. My invocation of Ptoh's name fixed my location and trajectory. The Eater's flesh is mine now, but the Chosen will be here in corporeal form too soon. Could I have lived outside the aggregate for very long, in any case? I do not know. The solitude wears on me as much as my flight. I've one last sundering to perform. A sundering. A memory of a distant life, a lost dream, takes hold. I sunder the mind of a foe to protect a lover.

This isn't the first time we're heard the name Ptoh, but it's definitely the most direct. By this point in the run an esper character will likely have been ambushed my Ptoh's servants a number of times, but as a physical mutant he's not really interested in us.




This guy's tragic fate aside, we have a job to do. We harvest a couple of the elcatl and get some eater's flesh. We'll only need one unless something goes wrong, but a spare or two can't hurt.




Taking mushrooms makes the screen start warping and distorting in a disorienting way. It also makes a road show up where the used to just be dirt.



This is the coral path, and we'll be following it over to Klanq's place.

There is one more side effect of being under the influence, which is easy to miss but very important to know.



Being high absolutely destroys your quickness. Quickness acts as a general multiplier to your overall action speed. The default is 100, 50 means you act at half speed, 200 means you act at double speed, and so on. Our quickness is now 40, so enemies will get more than two actions for every one we take. This is a massive, massive debuff - the first half of the quest was our intro to the zone, but this is where things get dangerous.



Following the path to the southeast, there's an asphalt weep spawning sludges right in our path.




The flamethrower does a good job killing them, but new ones keep popping up. The south edge of the screen is right here, so we drop down a screen to try and shake the crowd off. We can see that the road continues offscreen to the east, so we can just head to that screen without reentering this one.




A sludge follows us, and the screen warping temporarily pushes the top row of tiles under the status bar.



We do get our first glimpse of the other thing sludges do, though - each additional liquid they touch will upgrade them, giving them more health, damage, and an additional limb with the abilities from their new liquid. These mono and disludges aren't too bad yet, but a sludge that gets to absorb a bunch of materials can quickly become extremely deadly.



Fortunately only the one followed us, so we dispatched them and slipped past to the next screen.



There's nothing in sight, but we know there's sludges being born somewhere on the screen.



We make it to the top of the map without encountering any, though, so luckily for us they must be in a corner somewhere.



The whole experience is very inspiring.



The screen north is thankfully peaceful - there's no weeps overlapping with soup, so we can take our time. The road bends and exit the screen to the west.

Now, stop and remember the path we've taken so far. We entered the woods way to the north, went straight south 6 screens, then found the heart of the wood. Then we followed the path east, then north, and now this next step will take us west.



Which is back onto that screen we walked through before.

Now, yes, it is pretty cool to see Klanq's house pop up on a tile we've visited before. But remember how the game works - the screens are generated empty, and sludges start spawning once you enter. Since we've already been through here, the sludges have already had time to start building up. Some of those weeps are right next to Pax's house, too. This is going to be rough.



We see the first cluster of slimes as we turn the bend. We pop temporal fugue to even the odds a bit.




For once I'm less concerned about friendly fire than the clones are. None of them use their ice breath, but we're able to hit a lot of slimes with it.



By the time the clones time out we've cleared out most of the sludges. More will keep spawning, but we're a stone's throw away now so hopefully we can reach Klanq and leave before then.



A water sludge pops up as we get close.



And then some oil sludges start joining them. I kill one in a single hit, but that gives another time to get close



poo poo. (Oil sludges disarm on hit)

At this point my plan is to pick up our dropped daggers (not equip them, since they'd just get disarmed again), but since picking stuff up takes time and our quickness is so low...



They're able to keep attacking, knocking stuff out of our hands one by one until they're all gone. Which, fine, that was always going to happen once the oil sludges started attacking. The oil sludges don't actually hit hard enough to penetrate our armor consistently, so despite being a huge pain, once we're fully disarmed we can try to push past, pray Klanq isn't hostile, then turn over the blueprints and leave. Just need to grab all our stuff and go.



But while we're doing that, more sludges join up, with more liquids to use.







The water sludges make us spend a turn vomiting, and the salt sludges make us parched. They're not hurting us, but we're trapped in a constant loop without getting to take a turn.




After a couple rounds of this they get joined by a trisludge, who's strong enough to actually punch through our armor, and we're still too busy vomiting to fight back.



What a way to go.



In retrospect, I think the best thing I could have done would be to recruit an ally. I knew this area was going to be tough, since we have base movespeed and no great escape options, but with all our rep we could have recruited, say, a warden or two. An ally who still gets to move at normal speed could easily have saved us from that vomit loop.



I probably should have used sleep gas before picking up the daggers, too. I wasn't thinking about the water sludges and wanted to save it in case we needed it for Klanq, but the safe zone would have prevented them from stunlocking us as well.



I had a chance to escape, too - as soon as I realized the path looped back on itself and we had active sludges right next to Pax's place, I could have backed up to the peaceful screen and recoiled away to regroup.

Well, that's roguelikes for you. Hindsight is always 20/20. RIP in peace, Deathsleep Stabtail.

Ramie
Mar 2, 2021

I really enjoy how the very last words we heard from another living (?) person echoed the words of the last corpse we saw. and then we joined that corpse. at that moment the present echoed the past echoed the future.

our fate really was in it, as the bird said. man. video games

Ramie fucked around with this message at 09:33 on Jul 10, 2023

NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
Ah, the rainbow woods. Now we know why we fear the slime.

Angry Diplomat
Nov 7, 2009

Winner of the TSR Memorial Award for Excellence In Grogging
I love the rainbow woods but I will never not believe that water sludges specifically are kinda horseshit. Giving an enemy the ability to potentially chain-stun forever with no chance to take action is a really frustrating decision. That would have happened to you even without the salt sludges (more reliably, in fact) - two water sludges can do it to a normal character, and at 40 qn, I'm pretty sure one can potentially autokill you like a bullshit 100% combo in a fighting game.

Neutron flux sludges are understandably much worse, but they literally can't occur organically afaik, they only show up in hosed up circumstances like lategame sultan cult sites with ooze cultists or whatever. If you see one of those you just loving leave and never return, they're the chrome pyramids of oozes. But water sludges can show up in maps where you Must go, and where you Must be at -60 quickness, and as we've just seen, that can resut in you just kind of dying without much recourse. What else are you going to do? Quit the main quest and become a watervine farmer?

Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at 11:57 on Jul 10, 2023

Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.
always be a mutant and always take Heightened Quickness and/or Multiple Legs



the old Clairvoyance + Teleportation combo is even better for the Woods specifically, but that's a lot of points and Teleportation isn't as good as it used to be for general use

prisoner of waffles
May 8, 2007

Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the fishmech
About my neck was hung.
Having the Coral Path double back over your entry path to the Rainbow Woods is bad luck in a way that requires a really excellent (or really munchkin-ized) build to survive.

I go the munchkin route: night sight interpolators to minimize surprises, sources of flying to keep me out of melee range, force bracelet to keep the heat off, multiple legs so I can book it.

MuffinsAndPie
May 20, 2015

What a way to go, that was a great run to read through start to finish

Angry Diplomat
Nov 7, 2009

Winner of the TSR Memorial Award for Excellence In Grogging

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

always be a mutant and always take Heightened Quickness and/or Multiple Legs



This is also one of the unusual cases in which motorized treads can actually be kinda good for True Kin. Normally the loss of the feet equipment slot sucks (tread guards just can't quite stack up to spring-loaded high-tier boots), but that massive movespeed buff helps a lot with running past stuff in the rainbow wood.

I suppose a true kin with the right implants (and A Lot of oil) could also just burn a safe path clean through the Wood by multiwielding flamers and scouring every parasang bare as they pass through. Primordial soup is kind of a bitch to vaporize, but three flamers and a thermo cask can dump a hell of a lot of heat really, really fast, so much so that quickly raising a square to 2000 degrees isn't actually that much of a challenge

e: lmao yeah I looked it up and a flamer shot passing through a tile adds 8d20 degrees to its temperature, while actually striking something adds half that. IDK if that's "once when the cone of fire passes through/hits" or "for each individual damage-dealing flame 'pellet' (of which there are nine) that passes through/hits," but in either case, firing multiple copies of that thing with a thermo cask equipped should be enough to raise almost anything to its spontaneous combustion point in short order. And with the damage a cask flamer puts out at close range, you could reliably shred any non-magmatic sludges that approached you while you were cleaning up the soup (magmatic sludges are hilariously dangerous and should always be either fled from outright or killed, with extreme rapidity, at the maximum feasible range; unfortunately they really like being warm and are not bothered by fire matter how hot it is)

Angry Diplomat fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Jul 10, 2023

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Nice run, and yeah, you forgot to keep hitting da bricks, you can always get more daggers elsewhere, stopping to pick up is a no go in the woods.

verbal enema
May 23, 2009

onlymarfans.com
I always search for the mechanical wings before I go to the rainbow woods

Also lmao but also RIP

Great run I learned a lot

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus
Most stylish move would probably have been to recoil away, sleep it off, come back and clear out any nearby sludges at full speed, then stand where Klanq's house shows up and eat the mushroom to pop straight inside.

I still want to show off the late game, so I'm not done yet. I have an idea for who the next character will be, so I'll have another update in a couple days.

Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.
Well that was an unfortunate and unexpected end. Were any of your weapons you lost endgame uniques? If not, it seemed like trying to loot your disarmed stuff when tripping and slowed down is a bad idea in general if you could buy replacements that were as good or at least good enough. :rip:

e: I wonder how much rep that trisludge gained with the sultan cult that hated you more than anything else has ever hated.

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus
The flamethrower would have been the hardest to replace. They’re rare and we weren’t a good enough tinker to build one, so it’s pretty likely we could go the rest of the run without ever finding a replacement.

The daggers would have been a bit tedious, but Sixshrew can sell crysteel and flawless crysteel weapons so we could have bought more eventually.

But also, by that point even just running away would be hard. The sludges still move faster than us and we’d take a bunch of attacks pushing past them, so the water sludges would likely have caught up either way.

Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.
the Rainbow Wood is the single weakest part of a game with otherwise fantastic dungeon design, because the solution is not to engage with a single goddamn thing in it other than the quest objectives, and you're just tested on knowing that + whether you have the mobility and/or immunities necessary to do it

it's basically Golgotha without any of the fun parts or rewards

verbal enema
May 23, 2009

onlymarfans.com
I love the Rainbow Wood

Angry Diplomat
Nov 7, 2009

Winner of the TSR Memorial Award for Excellence In Grogging

verbal enema posted:

I drank way too much! I vomit!

verbal enema
May 23, 2009

onlymarfans.com

What the hell man!!

prisoner of waffles
May 8, 2007

Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the fishmech
About my neck was hung.
Wow, never seen someone get attacked by a water sludge in a forums thread

Pigbuster
Sep 12, 2010

Fun Shoe
Die and Thirst Drown: A Caves of Qud SSLP

RubberBands Hurt
Dec 13, 2004

seriously, wtf

Pigbuster posted:

Die and Thirst Drown: A Caves of Qud SSLP

Drown and Thirst?

Brandon Proust
Jun 22, 2006

"Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of scoring a simple goal in a simple way"

Drink and Vomit : A Caves of Qud SSLP, as per the last update

verbal enema
May 23, 2009

onlymarfans.com
If anyone else wants to take a stab (heh) at a run feel free to do so. I still havent fiddled with my laptop yet as I'm knee deep in Yakuza 0

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus







Our character for this run is Louis Cypher, a man with a beautiful face and a silver tongue. His stats are all average or below-average, except for ego, which is amazing.

An Ego-focused truekin might seem like a strange choice. Normally the reason you want to stack ego is because of the free levels it gives your mental mutations, which a truekin won't have. But I think it actually works better than you might expect, especially with the great starting gear and skills a consul gets.






We start in the desert canyons this time. Let's start by taking stock of our inventory.



Our starting equipment is, for the most part, pretty terrible. We actually have 0 AV right now. But there is one really amazing exception that more than makes up for it.



Consuls always start with a force bracelet. When activated, a force bracelet creates a 3x3 bubble of forcefields around you. The forcefields move with us, and they're selectively permeable; we can shoot through them just fine, but nobody else can shoot through them at us. They don't make us completely invincible - there's still some mental mutations that can hit us, explosions can reach through the shield, the bracelet can be emp'ed, and the forcefields themselves can be broken by normality effects or enough damage. But it's enough to shut down probably 90% of the creatures in Qud.

The biggest restriction is that a force bracelet is extremely energy hungry. A full chem cell can only power it for 20 turns, and we only have one full chem cell to start with. Still, unless something disastrous happens to it we'll be keeping this equipped for the entire game.



The rest of our items are pretty good as well, truekin generally start better equipped than mutants. We have several salve injectors, about 120 drams of water, a book, and perhaps most importantly of all:



The Food Cube.

Also with us is our loyal companion Gru-wof-ufo.






Like all pets he's more or less doomed to perish in the early game, but he's a decent melee fighter until then.



Just pretend that said "your hand"

The book we started with is actually pretty interesting too - in a fitting bit of poetry, it gives some more context for the life and death of the corpse we found in the rainbow woods.

Across Moghra'yi, Vol. III: Oth, the Free City posted:

Preface
Obviously and unfortunately, no primary sources are available from these distant lands. Much of this record draws upon the accounts given by fungi who crossed Moghra'yi on the backs of dromad merchants.

As a matter of convention, I date all events according to their chronological distance from an event of paramount historical significance, namely the publication of these volumes. Accordingly, note that the events' parenthetical dates signify their occurrence "prior [to] publication".

Oth

Oth is a freehold in the central Sunderlies populated by the esper cult called the Tyrants. The youngest of the major freeholds in the region, it was settled by Freeman Oth in 61PP after the Lost War. The freehold consists of the furnished comb-caves along the faces of the towering bluff known as Maidencomb before the war.

Origins and the Lost War

In the early months of 62PP a mysterious figure began murdering the bandit hosts in the central Sunderlies around Maidencomb. Though the neighboring freeholds originally named the murders blessings, soon reports from river merchants of queer gatherings in the comb-caves -- howling men igniting the rivers and the night sky with fire -- disquieted the Sunderlies' seats of power. Rumors spread that esper-bandits had forsaken their bands, discarded their guns and bows, and sworn fealty to the shadowy figure.

These merchant anecdotes and rumors continued into the winter and were substantiated when several merchant sketties were captured by the dark host. From the man who identified himself as Oth the Free, the merchants learned that he had indeed organized the esper-bandits and exiled voidcanters from the fiefdoms of Odrum. Each sketty was made to return to the freehold from which it came with a document the host named the Annuls of Oth, in which Oth, a self-styled prophet gifted with prescience, recounted a series of his visions and demanded the immediate release of all espers indentured against their wills to the freeholds of true kin.

The comb kings were predictably unswayed by the Annals and ignored Oth's mandates. However, by the end of 62PP, no merchant who rowed within twenty leagues of Maidencomb was seen alive again. Dozens of sketties were found drifting downriver with the charred or drowned corpses of their rowers in tow.

About the same time, the Annals of Oth began to spread like wildfire throughout the river freeholds. Several free espers left the freeholds to join the host, while those indentured espers who were found to sympathize with Freeman Oth, as he was known in the freeholds, were largely killed or gelded.

Of particular interest to Oth and his host were the windweirds of Perth. The windweirds are a caste of indentured espers who foretell (and in rare cases alter) the strength and duration of the seasonal trade winds over the Pale Sea. Oth's host rowed westward, and his acolytes infiltrated the Seahold and roused support amongst the windweirds.

Having suffered the months-long trade blockage at the hands of the Freeman and now forced to watch Oth's seeds of discord sprout within his own kingdom, King Rhodos of Perth gathered his strength and rowed the winding canyon rivers east toward Maidencomb. A series of skirmishes ensued; the might of Rhodos's navy was such that the Freeman was forced to cede the combs he had taken and retreat to the fortifications of Maidencomb. Rhodos sieged the comb for several weeks, entreating the kings of Athenreach and Irisveld for support. When no aid came, King Rhodos chose to take Maidencomb with his own strength.

The Battle of Maidencomb lasted for four bloody days. Ultimately, Rhodos's losses were too many, and he was rebuffed and driven back toward Perth. Oth missed no opportunity. He gave chase to the weakened navy and slaughtered nearly a thousand more Perthic men. Rhodos eventually reached Perth, but the might of the espers was too great. Oth breached the combs' sapped defenses, sacked the freehold, and slew King Rhodos himself. Several of the windweirds chose to join the Freeman, while many others remained in Perth (a few left the freehold without Oth).

The espers rowed back to Maidencomb with their spoils and lifted the trade blockage, directing their efforts toward settling the comb. Oth gave his name to the freehold, and was known thenceforth as the Free Seer. He ruled the espers until his death in 38PP when his successor forsook his own given name and adopted the title of Free Seer. So that tradition continues in present-day Oth.

The name "Tyrants" itself owes its origins to an ironic interpretation of the entreaty sent by King Rhodos to King Ercarthus of Athenreach during the siege of Maidencomb. The envoy was captured by the espers before it made its way upstream toward the northern freehold. The relevant excerpt reads:

Row the Twining Thaw. Bring your sketties to bear on Maidencomb. Join
your strength to mine, that 'neath the coupled banners of the Seahold
and Athenreach we might sunder these half-men, these tyrants who would
wrest from us what is ours by right and deed.

-King Rhodos

The scroll on which the message was written still rests in the Hall of the Free Seer, along with the charred skull of King Rhodos.

Life in Oth

Oth is ruled by the Free Seer who resides in the Hall of the Free Seer deep in the heart of Maidencomb. After the tradition of Freeman Oth, the Free Seer must be psionically prescient. He may also have influence, though it is not required. The Free Seer chooses his successor, often naming the esper with the most promising precognitive abilities. Though the Tyrants are free to leave Oth at their leisure, within the freehold the Free Seer's rule is absolute.

While the Tyrants mostly pursue isolationist policies, they do trade with the neighboring freeholds. However, they only deal directly with true kin in the rarest of circumstances and they insist that merchant caravans include a mutant envoy. As for trade goods, the Tyrants rarely offer the services of their voidcanters, but people are known to come from far and wide to audit the prophecy of the seers of Oth. The Tyrants' most coveted imports are cherrydotters from Irisveld and ghost sap from the rust-caves of Qud.

Along with the Tyrants, Oth is cohabited by a caste of people (both true and mutant) with no psionic aptitude. After the Lost War, these people, called the undermensch, left Perth with the Tyrants of their own accord. They were mostly fisherfolk and craftsmen, and they serve those same roles in Oth. Their motivations for leaving Perth were never well understood; it is unknown whether they serve now as free kin or as psionic thralls of the Tyrants.

Stithening

Stithening is the name given by the Tyrants of Oth to the process of introducing a cherrydotter to a host's brain through the ear canal. The scarab-worm is attached to the host's ear where it sheds its shell, crawls toward the ear drum, and burrows into the brain. Once entrenched there, the parasite feeds on the temporal and parietal lobes, inducing several changes to the host's body including loss of hair and nail, loss of weight, and yellowing and greening of skin pigment. The changes occur gradually over a period of several weeks; immediately after a stithening, though, the host undergoes a violent period of bodily adjustment with several side-effects including vomiting and fever.

Notably, in the case of an esper host, the feeding also reduces and ultimately eliminates the esper's ability to resist the Elder Cant. Thusly all stithened espers leave Oth and venture into Moghra'yi never to return.

Stithening is usually reserved as punishment for high crimes such as treason, but some of the most devout espers choose to undergo the process. Once a year, one member of the Mirthful, the Free Seer's royal guard of voidcanters, is chosen by the Free Seer to be stithened. The esper's name is recorded for posterity in the Hall of the Free Seer; this is considered the greatest honor that may be bestowed upon an esper of Oth. A new esper is chosen to serve the Free Seer in a ceremony called the Rite of Mirth.

We can find the other volumes of Across Moghra'yi, but I think this is the only one where we can get an alternate perspective on the society they describe.

The other interesting part of our starting loadout is our skills.




Proselytize lets us attempt to recruit an adjacent creature. The formula is roughly (our level + our ego + random number from -6 to +2) vs (enemy level + enemy MA). Since level is a part of it we can't go too crazy, but since most creatures have fairly low mental armor, pumping ego like this means we can recruit a lot of stuff at our level or a bit higher with 100% success.

Inspiring presence gives our allies 4 more max hp for each point of ego modifier we have. We're currently at +6, so our allies will have 24 more hp than usual. That's a huge buff this early, doubling most creatures' health.

These two together require 25 ego and 650 skill points to learn normally, so Consuls are the only class that can easily play with both of them in the early game like this.



Like all truekin we also have the ability to rebuke robots. This works much like proselytize, but can only target robots. In addition to recruiting them outright, rebuking can also roll a lesser success that turns them neutral.

Anyway, that's enough build talk for now.





We pick up our two starting quests, as well as the quest to visit the stilt.




The starapple farm is not far to the south. We walk there without any encounters.










Free exp. Let's see what he can give us.



Is that...? Why do you have a-?



Okay, sure. Normally I would take the batteries for our force bracelet, but, I mean, if you're offered a nuke you have to take it, right? Now, will we ever be able to use this without killing ourselves instantly? Probably not. But our odds of dying an interesting death just went up dramatically.




The mayor is disliked by the mechanimists, so we lose 50 rep with them, but we can just toss stuff in the well to make it up. Next, the grenade from the lilypad's lair.





"Discovering" the lair gives us enough exp to level.




On the surface we meet our first hostile enemy of the game. We politely explain to the worm that, actually, he should work for us instead.



The argument is hard to resist.



After that we spend some skill points to pick up another persuasion skill. Menacing stare is a ranged, single-target skill the makes the target flee in terror for a few turns. Unlike proselytize level doesn't play a role, so we can actually already terrify most stuff in Qud even at level 5. The cooldown is fairly short, so it's a great crowd control option.



The grenade isn't on the surface, so we head deeper.





The legendary glowpad turns out to be an uncontroversial guy who nobody dislikes, so a water ritual is free rep. Since we don't really need flower rep I spend some asking for a random secret, and it pays off.




Becoming nooks always have a couple cybernetic implants with them. There's a couple implants that we can't buy from the normal merchants, so we're always on the lookout for nooks.



The glowpad has the grenade, and he wants $50 for it.

We talk to the glowpad. Do they really want to just stay here, in their cave, for their whole life? Just hanging out, telling bawdy jokes to frogs? Qud is a vast and mysterious place, full of unknown wonders and treasures. We should explore it together!



The glowpad is convinced, and joins the team.



As an ally, money is meaningless between us. He hands over the grenade for free.




We inform Niechardiwillow that their services are no longer needed.





We get our introduction to the Barathrumites, but naturally we have other things to do first.



The rusted archway is a earlygame dungeon filled with the same creatures you'd see on your way to grit gate. We ignored it as Stabtail, but it's much more interesting for a truekin.




The surface is a fungal patch, but thankfully the stairs are right there.





The next floor down has a great starting gun lying around. Sniper rifles have to reload after every shot, but have great penetration and accuracy. Our weak, noodle-like arms make us very bad at melee combat, so when we're not letting our minions handle things a gun is the next best option.



The stairs are right nearby again.



And the third floor is no longer a fungal patch, so we can afford to explore a bit more.





We learn how to berate stuff. The important thing about berating people is that it lowers their MA, which makes them easier to recruit. Since it's not a hostile act, if there's a friendly NPC just at the edge of what's possible to proselytize you can keep negging them until eventually it works.



There's a baetyl here who we probably won't satisfy for a while, but should be doable eventually.








The bottom floor has a pair of becoming nooks and a chest with two credits in it.




Neither of the implants are amazing, but the credits are the important thing.







As a truekin, the nook is much more polite.




We upgrade our license to 4 and install the night vision. In the long run we'll probably prefer to just hold a glowsphere in our hand and use the implant slot on something else, but for now the night vision is a lot better than a torch.





Night vision can be toggled on and off, and gives us infinite vision range in exchange for making everything green.



With that finished, we surface and head for the stilt. We've learned a bunch of wayfaring lores at this point, so the trip is easy.







Sheba's a turret this time. Cute.




There's always a gutsmonger on the southeast screen. We ignored him as a mutant, but we'll be here a lot as a truekin.




His wares are unidentified, but you can pay him a fee to learn what they are. That seems like a dumb business model to me, but I'm paying it so I guess it works.





There's a couple that could be interesting, but nothing we want to buy right now.







We stop by Kyakukya, the ai continues to not understand retreating.





We visit the ruins of Joppa to find our earlygame historic site. What creature do we get?



It's snapjaws! Low level, weak willed snapjaws, who could easily be convinced to follow a persuasive adventurer.

Next time: Snapjaw Battle Royale

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

I'm trying the sort of mutant version of this with pros and beguile and a beak and legs. It took a lot of patience to really get off the ground but I feel good about my current character

Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.
So is there a limit on how many followers you can have? I'm assuming so and that you can't just recruit a literal army but I'd love to be wrong.

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus

Evil Fluffy posted:

So is there a limit on how many followers you can have? I'm assuming so and that you can't just recruit a literal army but I'd love to be wrong.

There’s no hard limit, but the recruitment abilities are usually restricted to one at a time. When we proselytize someone new, our old follower goes back to being independent. Rebuke robot has its own one follower slot, and if we had the mental mutation beguile that would also have its own slot.

Water ritual recruitment and cloning draught are both unrestricted, so you can get any number of followers that way. Also, if you recruit a follower who already has their own followers (a lot of legendaries will spawn with a posse of minions), their followers come along too.

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Recruiting others is a perfectly valid strategy... filling grit gate with ape god clones to kill the invasion is perfectly fine.

IthilionTheBrave
Sep 5, 2013
I'll admit, recruiting folks is a type of build I've never tried before, but I see how it could get pretty powerful.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

titty_baby_ posted:

I'm trying the sort of mutant version of this with pros and beguile and a beak and legs. It took a lot of patience to really get off the ground but I feel good about my current character

And I died shortly after posting

mdct
Sep 2, 2011

Tingle tingle kooloo limpah.
These are my magic words.

Don't steal them.
Wow, a Hand-E-Nuke one a 27 ego character? That's probably going for like 12000 water right now.

And for what it's worth, you can turn the green full screen effect on night vision off. It's part of the "turn off full screen filters" option in the options somewhere.

E Depois do Adeus
Jun 3, 2012


Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump.

I want to play this but I'm a little leery of non-ascii tilesets

Tuxedo Catfish
Mar 17, 2007

You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.

E Depois do Adeus posted:

I want to play this but I'm a little leery of non-ascii tilesets

Show off the ASCII version, then. :getin:

If you don't want to I might this weekend; I kind of want to take another crack at a pacifist win after my last one failed at the eleventh hour to a level generation bug. Plus it gives me a good excuse for only going for a "lesser" victory -- someone else can show off the deep endgame.

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus

E Depois do Adeus posted:

I want to play this but I'm a little leery of non-ascii tilesets



Qud was originally an ascii game, and while they've been putting a lot of work into the modern graphics and ui, you can still turn all of that off if you prefer. (I forgot to turn off the vignette and scanlines for this pic but they can be disabled too)

Snake Maze
Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago
  • Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus



The snapjaw historic site goes pretty smoothly. Our boar friend can beat any of them in a fight, and our sniper rifle is great for picking them off from afar.



The boar starts fighting a tortoise, who take a while for him to kill on his own, due to their high AV. We help out a bit by taking some shots with the sniper rifle.



:pressf:



Well, it's time for a new friend. We meet a legendary snapjaw wearing a girshworm disguise.





He decides to join the winning side, and his minions follow him.



To the north we find a pretty nice chest. That glowsphere will probably be our main source of light for a while, since we don't need our hands for much.




Next floor down, and we get some lucky mechanimist rep. We're all set for Bethesda now.



Nearby, the chest contains a mace for people who really hate lizards.



Pushing forward, we find the location of another historic site.



The east half of the map has a ton of bookshelves. Most of them are empty, but we still get a good haul of books.



The southern branch has a becoming nook buried under more bookshelves.




We have the points to spare, so there's no reason not to install these. Electric damage is kind of rare, but this is great to have when it does come up.



The next floor down is, uh, cozy.



We supervise while our friend digs a way out.




There's a vent emitting clockwork beetles to the north.




We rebuke one of them into joining us.




Then push forward and close the door to stop any more from showing up.



By this point our inventory is getting full, so we head back to the silt.






Along the way we find some ruins with a new becoming nook, but accidentally break the implant when we try to identify it.




Oops, looks like we didn't have quite enough water on hand. Whatever, it's only two tiles.



We arrive in town only slightly dying of thirst.



And Lulihart is nice enough to give us something to drink.



I drop our books in a chest next to Sheba, but don't donate them yet. I'd like to try and get the reward for clearing Golgotha under level 18 this time.






The gutsmonger is able to identify our broken implant, and has a couple new ones for sale. I buy the intravenous port - salve injectors are already a great healing item, and between this and the fact tonics in general are stronger for truekin, we'll end up recovering about 120% of our max hp from one injector.




The random merchants in the stilt ended up giving us three bookbinders this time. The schoedinger page will be useful. The Dark Calculus doesn't do anything mechanically but it's a pretty interesting part of Qud's backstory.

On the Origins and Nature of the Dark Calculus posted:

Editor's note: this excerpt is published with permission from the notes of Barathrum the Old.

There's evidence in the arithmetic record that the study of formal systems reached a pernicious apex in the Long Before. Advancements made by mathematicians such as Russell, Gödel, Eisencruft, Atufu, Wheatgrass, and System Star contributed to the understanding of notions like undecidability, pointed regularism, and abyssalism. Upon reaching this minimal degree of mathematical maturity, equipped with sophisticated grammars, researchers set out to experiment with the limits of expressibility. They contrived bold research programs and galloped into the mathematical wood, unwitting of the dangers that brood there.

The record is even scarcer than usual, due to the efforts of successive generations to obfuscate the venture. As best as I can gather, at some point in the course of inquiry, a theorist from a mathematical seminary called the Cupola formulated a conjecture on the fragility of formal semantics. The conjecture ripened to a broader theory, out of which spawned a formal system called the penumbra calculus. In the few fragments of texts that predate the obfuscation, it's stated that, in the penumbra calculus, certain theorems are provable, but are falsified upon the completion of their proofs. As much as this result is at odds with the systems of thought I've encountered in my own inquiries, I find little reason to doubt the veracity of the authors. Nevertheless, it's certainly a peculiar property.

The Cupola theorist's results erupted into a grand investigation into the expressibility of the penumbra calculus. The conclusions were troubling. Pushing further, researchers constructed sister systems with alternate axioms. These systems were still more fragile, with the systems' inference rules themselves unraveling upon the completion of certain proofs.

Convinced that their discoveries were made possible by some idiosyncrasy of self-awareness, but synchronously fearful of the implications of their results, some schools of theorists engineered complex automated deduction systems to probe boundary theorems and launched them into neutron stars. The outcome is undocumented, but the result convinced theorists across the Coven to abandon research and blacklist anyone who studied the penumbra calculus and its derivative systems.

Peculiarly, support for the injunction was unanimous. Of note, even the spacefolder Ptoh agreed to abandon its investigation into the forbidden calculi from the reaches of its bleak star. Though the manner of its consent was not without controversy; to announce its accord, it inverted the color charge of quarks in a small region of space, causing a research station to collapse in on itself. Nonetheless, Ptoh's consent is testament to the degree of existential anxiety that could cause investigation into the penumbra calculus to go dark.



We make our way back to the historic site and continue delving.




Before long we arrive on the final floor.





We meet a legendary snapjaw prankster.



The artifact is nice. Most face stuff at this point only gives 1 DV, so 3 bonus stats is a lot more valuable. We'll probably sell it off eventually, but we'll wear it for a while.





Now that we have a glowsphere and some extra credits, I swap the night vision out and install our new intravenous port.




We found another early game historic site while exploring that last one, so after dropping off our stuff in the stilt we go to check it out.



It's the same cult, but this time populated by tortoises. This is kind of a pain - they're not dangerous, but their AV is so high that killing them can take a dozen or more attacks before we finally get enough hits through.





There's a becoming nook on the surface with some cool implants, though. The anomaly fumigator is situational, since we don't necessarily want tons of normality gas around that would pop our force bracelet's bubble, but against certain enemies it can be a really strong option, and you can freely toggle it on or off once it's installed. The fullerite bones would be great if we were a melee truekin, but for us they're just a valuable thing to sell.





We make a pretty great recipe on our way down. As long as enemies can't kill us from over 20% hp in one hit this can keep triggering over and over.




The way is blocked again. We don't have a pickaxe and these walls are a lot tougher than the shale in the last historic site, so we spend probably a thousand turns meditating while our friend gradually chips a way through. Thanks buddy!





Eh, we'll just be pawning this off for implants.




In addition to the turtles, the site also has a ton of sprouting orbs.




Sprouting orbs are hidden until you step on them, after which they pop up a ring of plant matter around you. The plant matter walls are weak enough that even we can tear them down in one or two attacks, but it makes exploration go a lot slower.



As we get deeper the turtles are joined by some subterranean snapjaws. They're stronger than their surface-dwelling cousins.




Another floor down and the stairs are surrounded by a half dozen sprouting orbs, creating a really claustrophobic arena as a dozen turtles slowly file in.




Eventually the turtles stop coming, and we prune down the walls.




On the final floor our snapjaw companion meets his match.





You kill my friend, you become my friend :colbert:




Now this is an interesting prize. As a weapon it's lame, but we don't need strong melee weapons anyway, and getting temporal fugue is great. Even though it's granted by an item it'll still be powered up by our ego, so we can actually summon a bunch of time clones as long as we're holding this.

Although, since we're such a bad fighter even having a half dozen clones doesn't count for much. We could do some shenanigans with clones throwing their duplicated hand-e-nukes, but it's also really really likely that we would die in the process.



We cash in our new credits, but don't install any new implants yet.






The descent to Grit Gate goes pretty smoothly. Slugsnouts are a fantastic early game recruit if you can get one - they're basically pigs with a strong, infinite ammo gun. We also rebuked one of the waydroids to replace our old clockwork beetle.






It's time for the rite of passage. We have four holes to choose from. Can we make it through Golgotha in one piece??

Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.
What's the damage and blast radius on the hand-e nuke? Too big to be able to safely make clones, send them on a bombing run, and stay back in safety even in very open areas?

mdct
Sep 2, 2011

Tingle tingle kooloo limpah.
These are my magic words.

Don't steal them.
Over 40000 damage and "about half the screen in size".
Hand-e-Nukes basically instantly kill everything.

No really, their damage calculation is 40000+2d6. That's just what they do.

Breadmaster
Jun 14, 2010
Can you drop it down a hole and make a much bigger hole?

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Angry Diplomat
Nov 7, 2009

Winner of the TSR Memorial Award for Excellence In Grogging
You might be able to trade it to a rebuked robot, use a ganglionic teleprojector to control said robot, run into the next parasang, and blow it the hell up.

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