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uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf_RHVjPrHY

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Cuttlefush
Jan 15, 2014

gotta have my purp
many good rear end songs on that album

insane clown pussy
Jun 20, 2023

mcmagic posted:

It's interesting that Denzel really never had interest in doing big IP movies the way Tom Cruise did as that same level of star. Maybe not Marvel poo poo but even something like Mission Impossible that Cruise took over himself and created his own franchise really.

how many equalizer reboot sequels is he up to now?

insane clown pussy
Jun 20, 2023

The Equalizer 3 is an upcoming American vigilante action film directed by Antoine Fuqua. It is the sequel to the 2018 film The Equalizer 2, and will serve as the third and final installment of The Equalizer trilogy, which is loosely based on the TV series of the same name. The film stars Denzel Washington, reprising his role as retired U.S. Marine and former DIA officer, Robert McCall. Dakota Fanning, David Denman, Sonia Ammar, and Remo Girone also star in the film.

Washington and Fanning reunite on-screen for the first time since 2004's Man on Fire. The film is the fifth collaboration between Washington and Fuqua, following Training Day (2001), The Equalizer (2014), The Magnificent Seven (2016), and The Equalizer 2 (2018).

The film is set to be released on September 1, 2023 by Sony Pictures Releasing.

exmarx
Feb 18, 2012


The experience over the years
of nothing getting better
only worse.
rip sinéad :(

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmcSSQKH1d8

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

A Buttery Pastry posted:

even if it was, the treatment she got was way out of line

People were rabid dogs in the 90's and when you publicly went against the status quo in any way you were subject to a sustained level of vitriol for years

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

People were rabid dogs in the 90's and when you publicly went against the status quo in any way you were subject to a sustained level of vitriol for years

Things haven't changed at all in this respect, it's just that everyone has a much shorter attention span

Cuttlefush
Jan 15, 2014

gotta have my purp
silly thing to say

insane clown pussy
Jun 20, 2023

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

People were rabid dogs in the 90's and when you publicly went against the status quo in any way you were subject to a sustained level of vitriol for years

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


movies coming in the wake of barbie's success......... hope greta is doing the oppenheimer face reading this : )

– Barney
– Polly Pocket (dir. lena dunham & starring emily in paris)
– Hot Wheels
– Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (starring vin diesel)
– American Girl
– Magic 8 Ball
– Masters of the Universe (he-man)
– Major Matt Mason (some sort of astronaut, starring tom hanks & co-written by michael chabon)
– Wishbone (the PBS dog show)
– UNO (the card game lol)
– Matchbox (the racecars..... seems duplicative of hot wheels?)
– Thomas & Friends (thomas the tank engine)
– View Master (the picture wheel toy thing)

https://twitter.com/EWagmeister/status/1684252108823089152

Cuttlefush
Jan 15, 2014

gotta have my purp
Mighty Max movie

ram dass in hell
Dec 29, 2019



:420::toot::420:

indigi posted:

you can't shoplift money

skill issue

ram dass in hell
Dec 29, 2019



:420::toot::420:

Baudolino posted:

She was brave to do that. But would any non-irish person even understand what point she was trying to make in 1992?
Without context it looks like edgy atheism.

edgy atheism was nonexistent in 1992 and the normies loving flipped their poo poo bro

ram dass in hell
Dec 29, 2019



:420::toot::420:
sinead was insanely based and epic. we say this often but this time i mean it: rip to a real one

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

Wraith of J.O.I. posted:

movies coming in the wake of barbie's success......... hope greta is doing the oppenheimer face reading this : )

– Barney
– Polly Pocket (dir. lena dunham & starring emily in paris)
– Hot Wheels
– Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (starring vin diesel)
– American Girl
– Magic 8 Ball
– Masters of the Universe (he-man)
– Major Matt Mason (some sort of astronaut, starring tom hanks & co-written by michael chabon)
– Wishbone (the PBS dog show)
– UNO (the card game lol)
– Matchbox (the racecars..... seems duplicative of hot wheels?)
– Thomas & Friends (thomas the tank engine)
– View Master (the picture wheel toy thing)

https://twitter.com/EWagmeister/status/1684252108823089152

she got paid she doesn't care.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

UNO and Magic 8-Ball will be awesome.

YaketySass
Jan 15, 2019

Blind Idiot Dog
love franchises
love brands

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

Cuttlefush posted:

silly thing to say

how dare u sir

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Wishbone movie could be good provided they make it basically just a long episode of the OG show. No CGI, all just putting a dog in little costumes for a tight 90 minutes

Frosted Flake
Sep 13, 2011

Semper Shitpost Ubique

i say swears online posted:

Catholic-raised host Joe Pesci held up the photo, explaining that he had taped it back together, to huge applause. Pesci also said that if it had been his show, "I would have gave [sic] her such a smack".

tf is "Catholic-raised"?

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


loquacius posted:

Wishbone movie could be good provided they make it basically just a long episode of the OG show. No CGI, all just putting a dog in little costumes for a tight 90 minutes

one of the farrelly bros is (currently) listed as a producer

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

He-Man movie has the potential to be good depending on direction, Magic 8-Ball could be good if they make it a trashy 80s-style horror movie, the ones involving Vin Diesel and Michael Chabon have some potential just from having those guys attached, the rest probably not even ironically good. Except Uno. I mostly just wanna know what the gently caress they're thinking there.

Cuttlefush
Jan 15, 2014

gotta have my purp

Frosted Flake posted:

tf is "Catholic-raised"?

lol that's the wikipedia page's phrasing. that is weird

Some Guy TT
Aug 30, 2011

loquacius posted:

do the barbies actually crush a ken rebellion and make no changes whatsoever to the barbie/ken dichotomy or were people on twitter just getting overexcited

Wraith of J.O.I. posted:

they do restore the pre-ken political regime and constitution but we don't see much of the aftermath after that

barbie does apologize tho and say she should have been nicer to gosling ken

is the relationship between the barbie and ken like the relationship between rick and morty except more girly because thats the only way i can make sense of the plot of the movie when people describe it like this

insane clown pussy
Jun 20, 2023

Frosted Flake posted:

tf is "Catholic-raised"?

a child sex abuse victim

insane clown pussy
Jun 20, 2023

Wraith of J.O.I. posted:

movies coming in the wake of barbie's success......... hope greta is doing the oppenheimer face reading this : )

– Barney
– Polly Pocket (dir. lena dunham & starring emily in paris)
– Hot Wheels
– Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (starring vin diesel)
– American Girl
– Magic 8 Ball
– Masters of the Universe (he-man)
– Major Matt Mason (some sort of astronaut, starring tom hanks & co-written by michael chabon)
– Wishbone (the PBS dog show)
– UNO (the card game lol)
– Matchbox (the racecars..... seems duplicative of hot wheels?)
– Thomas & Friends (thomas the tank engine)
– View Master (the picture wheel toy thing)

https://twitter.com/EWagmeister/status/1684252108823089152

yawn

lemme know when there's a live action rock lords movie

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019

In Training posted:

It's fun. Felt very old school Hollywood - big cartoon sets, Busby Berkeley musical numbers, advertising the costume designer right in the movie.

sounds like la la land

insane clown pussy
Jun 20, 2023

or M.A.S.K.

not the rocky dennis story but the lovely transformers/gi joe knockoff

RandolphCarter
Jul 30, 2005



gently caress

croup coughfield
Apr 8, 2020
Probation
Can't post for 75 days!
i want eli roth to direct the uno movie

Some Guy TT
Aug 30, 2011

Fellatio del Toro posted:

kens rights activist

[Pop Culture] kens rights activism

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

insane clown pussy posted:

a child sex abuse victim

ohh eyy fathah o'malley yous gonna feel me up ah what

Pussy Quipped
Jan 29, 2009

where’s my movie about this thing

skooma512
Feb 8, 2012

You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

Wraith of J.O.I. posted:

movies coming in the wake of barbie's success......... hope greta is doing the oppenheimer face reading this : )

– Barney
– Polly Pocket (dir. lena dunham & starring emily in paris)
– Hot Wheels
– Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (starring vin diesel)
– American Girl
– Magic 8 Ball
– Masters of the Universe (he-man)
– Major Matt Mason (some sort of astronaut, starring tom hanks & co-written by michael chabon)
– Wishbone (the PBS dog show)
– UNO (the card game lol)
– Matchbox (the racecars..... seems duplicative of hot wheels?)
– Thomas & Friends (thomas the tank engine)
– View Master (the picture wheel toy thing)

https://twitter.com/EWagmeister/status/1684252108823089152

I mean, it's cool Wishbone has some cache 30 years downrange but the whole point was to do classic literature with a dog, it's an anthology show, how are you going to do that in a feature film unless you just do one book?

...if I wonder if an archive has a circa 1998 copy of the PBS kids website :allears: good times, a life before doubt


quote:

seems duplicative of hot wheels?)

always has been.jpg

Some Guy TT
Aug 30, 2011

I did something today that I’ve never done before in my life: check on Ben Shapiro.

I don’t know the guy in real life, but that’s fine; I don’t think we’d get along. But I was a little concerned about his mental state after Shapiro (a 39-year-old man) on Saturday released a 43-minute long video purporting to “destroy” the new hit film, Barbie.

Ben Shapiro is really angry at the new movie "Barbie."
Not to be sexist but: he didn’t look good. He looked tired, agitated, darty-eyed—even… destroyed.

When he described the blockbuster film thusly: “It’s as though you were going to make Toy Story except the toys are all evil, they’re all bad, and you’re supposed to hate them and you’re supposed to burn them.” I thought: Ben, are you OK? Show me where the doll hurt you.

I had never seen Ben Shapiro speak for more than a few seconds before I watched his Barbie review and was shocked at how accurate all of the Ben Shapiro impressions out there are. He speaks like an auctioneer unsuccessfully trying to argue his way into a club with a bouncer, and listening to his voice elicits the feeling of standing in line behind a person ranting over nothing and wasting everybody’s time.

But I soldiered on, a martyr for the cause (writing a thing I agreed to write before I realized how annoying the process would be).

I worried that watching a review that’s a little shy of half the run time of the film itself would give away the entire plot of the movie. But luckily, Shapiro’s review told me very little about the film. I don’t think he understood it, which was good for me, because I try not to learn too much about movies before I watch them.

Based on Shapiro’s apoplexy, I went into the theater expecting to leave ready to round up all the men and send them to an island, where they would be imported back to Woman Land, only rarely to help with certain manly tasks, such as doing pull-ups, opening pickle jars, and dropping atomic bombs.

Instead, I saw a film that showcased how little girls imagine a world where they can be anything through play—until they get older and the patriarchal system into which they were born does its damndest to sever them from those possibilities by ridiculing and diminishing girlhood. Ben saw this as anti-male.

Shapiro begins his movie review by explaining movie marketing to his audience—wait, scratch that.

He actually starts his review by holding a rather phallic toy atomic bomb (to represent the other new film of the moment, Oppenheimer), and a Barbie doll in the other. Shapiro tosses the Barbie over his shoulder towards a trash can, but he misses the shot. Then, a jump cut shows the Barbie doll in the trash can, about to be set alight by Ben’s manly match.

If he’d ended it there, I’d still have disagreed with his assessment and still found the move a bit weird, but would have had to applaud his brevity.

However, self-editing is not one of Shapiro’s fortes. The man cannot, under any circumstances, shut the gently caress up, and in the process, tells us a lot more about himself than he does about Barbie.

I don’t think Shapiro “got” what Barbieland was supposed to be, which tells me that he doesn’t know very much about how girls play—a shame, since he has two daughters.

The film’s director, Greta Gerwig, didn’t pull it out of her rear end; every woman in the theater seemed to “get” that the mores of Barbieland were a reflection of the way that kids engage with Barbie dolls—minus the Barbie-on-Barbie scissoring many of us did (which I imagine Mattel wouldn’t go for in a movie).

Shapiro ridicules the “wokeness” of having Issa Rae (a black woman! Like Kamala! Absurd!) play the president, as well as the existence of an all-female Supreme Court in Barbieland.

But that’s literally how I played Barbies (minus the Supreme Court, because it was the 1980s, and the court is doing a lot more to mess with the lives of little girls now than it was then). As in Barbieland, the number of Barbies in my collection dwarfed the number of Kens, because Barbie was much more interesting than Ken. Barbie had cooler clothes and prettier hair and frankly, as a small child, I didn’t really feel the need to integrate the idea of boys and men into my imagination play.

And I’m not alone. According to Mattel, there are seven Barbie dolls sold for every Ken doll. Girls just like Barbie better.

But Ben’s biggest Barbie bugaboo seems to be the film’s best sequence—when Barbie, living under the patriarchy that has taken over Barbieland (in the Danish version of the film, brilliantly called “Kenmark”), attempts to retake power by tricking men into thinking their annoying, paternalistic behavior is necessary.

The Barbies discuss conflicting demands put on them by the patriarchy, which Shapiro argues doesn’t exist since the film Barbie was written by and stars a woman, which he insists could not possibly happen if the patriarchy was actually real (he later contradicts himself by pointing out that even though the film was written by and stars a woman, the studio executives behind the film are almost all men. Which is a point that the film itself makes by making the boardroom in real-world Mattel populated by all men.)

Then, there’s a point where Shapiro almost gets it.

“I have a question—I mean, I work with a lot of women… Do they feel like any power they have must be masked under a giggle?”

Yes, actually. That’s why we use so many exclamation points in business emails. (No worries if not!)

Shapiro doesn’t understand this, because he’s incredulous of any woman’s experience as told by the woman herself. None of his “several producers” who attended alongside him got it, either.

It must be difficult to live with the level of gay panic Shapiro seems to experience constantly. He saw a lot of gay Ken stuff in places I didn’t. (But maybe he’s more tuned into when men are acting gay than I am.) He saw a lot of gay Ken stuff in places where the queer audience itself did not see it.

He concludes that all of the Kens are gay, that Alan is especially gay, and that there’s an extended series of gay masturbation jokes that are not appropriate for the film’s target audience. He includes clips from the masturbation joke scene twice in his review, just to make sure we saw it.

He’s also oddly transfixed by Dr. Barbie, played by Hari Nef, who is trans, pointing out that Dr. Barbie has a lower voice than he does, which is an odd thing to point out, because Shapiro’s voice is gratingly high-pitched. A lot of women have lower voices than Ben Shapiro.

One of the most inadvertently funny moments of Shapiro’s 43-minute mental breakdown was when Shapiro could not conceive of how “moms” who watch Barbie could possibly understand references to things like Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, the late producer Robert Evans, or The Godfather.

But this is, precisely, a joke that the film itself makes (men assume that women have no inner life apart from interests designed to attract and please men, and care for their children, and therefore the men must explain cinema to us). This is a joke that seems to have flown way over Shapiro’s head.

Is Barbie the best movie I’ve ever seen? No. It was good. Some of the stuff didn’t work; other parts did.

It delved into themes and ideas that are often left unexplored in film, all of which Shapiro missed.

Little girls imagine a world where they can be whatever they want and hang out with their girlfriends all day long, and only give passing thoughts to boys and men—before the real world corrects them with the notion that actually, everything must revolve around men and the world of imagination they created as children not only does not exist, but its very imagining is an affront to men everywhere.

The film seems like it’s almost trying to elicit an admission from certain viewers. It invites men to say out loud that they see everything that is not specifically for them and that does not specifically worship them as anti-man. Things that have literally nothing to do with them but fail to center them are, from their perspective, man-hating. They see women wanting to simply be left alone and have spaces to themselves as a militant stance.

In Barbie, when the women are in charge, Ken is not subjected to cruelty, pain, or servitude—only indifference. Ken still gets to hang out with his friends and can basically do whatever he wants. It’s just that Barbie doesn’t spend much time thinking about him, or what he’s doing, or what he cares about—because the little girls who play with Barbie don’t.

But in the mind of men like Shapiro, even imagining that they are not the center and source of every woman’s fulfillment is world-rocking.

A certain sort of person—a certain sort of man—must believe that he is the best thing that ever happened to his mommy, that he brought her nothing but joy, and that his wife’s greatest achievement is pushing his kids out and then giving them his last name. The film poked the bear, and Baby Bear answered.

Shapiro seems to have recovered from spending a whole two hours of his life watching developed female characters have conversations with each other, using words co-written by a woman.

I was relieved to find by perusing his Twitter feed on Monday that he’s actually doing great. He’s not mad that people are dunking on him for his weird response to a summer blockbuster. He’s sorry everybody is so mad about his correct take on a film he admits was “for little girls.” He’s laughing, actually.

He’s moved on to complain about the casting of diverse non-dwarves in the forthcoming live-action Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. And also tweeting about how Barbie isn’t making much money in China, and bemoans the fact that “Women used to build society. Now they dress in pink and bring a bottle of wine to an air conditioned theater to cry in solidarity with an actress lecturing America about how hard it is to be a woman, then rage-tweet at people who don't like 'Barbie.'"

Totally normal stuff. He’s doing great.

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

Cuttlefush posted:

everyone knows what it was about now

they certainly do not

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?
Equalizer 2 was fine, nowhere near as good as the first imo. it wanted to be two different movies

mazzi Chart Czar
Sep 24, 2005

skooma512 posted:

I mean, it's cool Wishbone has some cache 30 years downrange but the whole point was to do classic literature with a dog, it's an anthology show, how are you going to do that in a feature film unless you just do one book?

...if I wonder if an archive has a circa 1998 copy of the PBS kids website :allears: good times, a life before doubt

always has been.jpg


Easy you do the meta story-line where it's now wishbone's time to writes his own book, as he fights against some sort of anti book villain, while he jumps across a bunch of different books.


Gimmie my loving scab Money Hollywood.

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HootTheOwl
May 13, 2012

Hootin and shootin

Wraith of J.O.I. posted:

movies coming in the wake of barbie's success......... hope greta is doing the oppenheimer face reading this : )

– Barney
– Hot Wheels
– Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (starring vin diesel)
– American Girl
– Masters of the Universe (he-man)
– Matchbox (the racecars..... seems duplicative of hot wheels?)
– Thomas & Friends (thomas the tank engine)
These already had a movie.
And Vin Diesel was in the hot wheels movies.

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