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Giving my standup status in the style of The Scat Man
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Jul 26, 2023 18:52
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 02:19 |
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My name is kyg and I'm here to say I quit
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Jul 26, 2023 19:03
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Cyrano4747 posted:Gotta be honest, if my job tried to make me write and perform a rap I'd be looking for another job the next day. In retrospect I think the real lesson was “this is why it’s good to have some extroverts on your team”. Edit: real intended lesson I mean. Obviously the real lesson is work sucks and motivational retreats suck and lee Iacocca sucks. MonkeyHate fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Jul 26, 2023 |
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Jul 26, 2023 19:19
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Takes No Damage posted:This is probably fake but I still tweaked my back from cringing so hard: that better not be real. though the last coach for my ACSM had me trying to do all sorts of experimental stuff on teams and after about the 4th one i was like man gently caress you and quit that course.
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Jul 26, 2023 20:05
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Pretty sure the objective of office rap is trauma bonding.
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Jul 26, 2023 20:32
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McGavin posted:Have you tried communicating this in a rap? No, but I remember a CPA friend showing me a video his company commissioned where they paid someone to write and perform a song criticizing the Sarbanes–Oxley Act of 2002 as a parody of “Love and Marriage.” Cyrano4747 posted:Gotta be honest, if my job tried to make me write and perform a rap I'd be looking for another job the next day. Our last manager had embarrassingly demeaning team exercises that seemed to be taken from a book about how to distract kindergartners, I can tolerate a lot of nonsense but passing out crayons and paper was too far.
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Jul 26, 2023 20:39
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The HR guy who was here when I got hired showed us the Sexual Harassment Panda clip from South Park as part of our sexual harassment training, and insisted on using me and another employee in every example. Also he was sexually harassing someone at work the entire time.
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Jul 26, 2023 20:58
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The best hour I ever billed was winning the project trivia competition at the project all hands. You better believe I'm coloring with crayons.
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Jul 26, 2023 21:33
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Thankfully I think the brewing industry has collectively refused to touch rap since Golden Road embarrassed themselves after ABI acquired them, but I would 100% laugh off any attempt to make me participate in such useless motivational consultant fever dreams. In the meantime, I need to find out who: -Used a toaster that's specifically designated for toasting wood chips for casks for their sandwiches -Stole an extension cord I regularly use to do it -Set the toaster on top of buckets full of parts for sour beers in a way that can easily contaminate them -Used said toaster two loving feet away from multiple bags of malt and stacks of paper in the most fire-prone way possible -Left said toaster plugged in just to make sure the fire hazard didn't go away I went on a long tirade on Slack about it, and about taking care of the brewery in general since the other brewer left and I'm now the only one running and operating the brewhouse (and cleaning up after the taproom people who increasingly don't give a poo poo). I'm so tired of feeling like the only adult in this company.
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Jul 26, 2023 21:38
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*walks in with smiley-faced toast for RocketMermaid, sloooowlyly puts it down and backs out*
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Jul 26, 2023 21:41
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RocketMermaid posted:Thankfully I think the brewing industry has collectively refused to touch rap since Golden Road embarrassed themselves after ABI acquired them, but I would 100% laugh off any attempt to make me participate in such useless motivational consultant fever dreams. Quit and watch it burn down in a week?
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Jul 26, 2023 21:44
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Biplane posted:Quit and watch it burn down in a week? Right, like are we sure this wasn’t a poor attempt at insurance fraud? I mean general coworker stupidity is always very likely. But that was an extra helping of stupid.
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Jul 26, 2023 22:16
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Orvin posted:Right, like are we sure this wasn’t a poor attempt at insurance fraud? I mean general coworker stupidity is always very likely. But that was an extra helping of stupid. Mind you, this is the same staff that served a beer from one of our brite tanks for a full weekend without realizing somebody had turned off its regulator and came close to pulling vacuum on it recently. How half a dozen bartenders and owners went through and didn't realize "hm, this isn't pouring right!" absolutely baffles me. It's like everybody stopped paying loving attention over the last month, and now that the other brewer left to open a place elsewhere it's solely up to me to make sure the owners and bartenders don't hurt themselves or something.
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Jul 26, 2023 22:20
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RocketMermaid posted:Mind you, this is the same staff that served a beer from one of our brite tanks for a full weekend without realizing somebody had turned off its regulator and came close to pulling vacuum on it recently. How half a dozen bartenders and owners went through and didn't realize "hm, this isn't pouring right!" absolutely baffles me. It's like everybody stopped paying loving attention over the last month, and now that the other brewer left to open a place elsewhere it's solely up to me to make sure the owners and bartenders don't hurt themselves or something. Sounds like you need to go see if the other brewer needs a hand.
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Jul 26, 2023 22:30
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RocketMermaid posted:Mind you, this is the same staff that served a beer from one of our brite tanks for a full weekend without realizing somebody had turned off its regulator and came close to pulling vacuum on it recently. How half a dozen bartenders and owners went through and didn't realize "hm, this isn't pouring right!" absolutely baffles me. It's like everybody stopped paying loving attention over the last month, and now that the other brewer left to open a place elsewhere it's solely up to me to make sure the owners and bartenders don't hurt themselves or something. Why do you give a poo poo if the owners hurt themselves
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Jul 26, 2023 23:01
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withoutclass posted:Giving my standup status in the style of The Scat Man Including self immolation, I presume  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4X7Wv70404
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Jul 26, 2023 23:09
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RocketMermaid posted:Thankfully I think the brewing industry has collectively refused to touch rap since Golden Road embarrassed themselves after ABI acquired them, but I would 100% laugh off any attempt to make me participate in such useless motivational consultant fever dreams. Reminds me of that story about a company employee staying late one night and discovering that the cleaning staff was using curing ovens to bake frozen pizzas.
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Jul 26, 2023 23:12
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Kind of dumb thing I do in my work is, manage this beaver dam. The beaver may or may not be deceased so we have been helping maintain the watershed by shoving some of his old sticks and rocks back in there. He is maintaining a popular public lake that is susceptible to algae blooms when it gets low in the summer and with climate change the lake needs every bit of help it can get.
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Jul 26, 2023 23:29
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That's not dumb that rules
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Jul 26, 2023 23:29
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You should organise a beaver transplant.
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Jul 26, 2023 23:45
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Cyrano4747 posted:Gotta be honest, if my job tried to make me write and perform a rap I'd be looking for another job the next day. Some place nearly a decade ago: "We want you all to dance to hiphop." "I can't dance to hiphop." "Well, have a practice and see how it goes." ... "You can't dance to hiphop." "I can't dance to hiphop." "No, I mean that's like some kind of crime." "You were warned."
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Jul 27, 2023 00:44
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MonkeyHate posted:(A reasonable facsimile of Hell) poo poo like this makes me glad I'm disabled and will live in poverty without ever having to deal with this.
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Jul 27, 2023 01:10
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goatface posted:You should organise a beaver transplant. Some of us are still saving up for bottom surgery, dammit.
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Jul 27, 2023 02:08
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Killingyouguy! posted:That's not dumb that rules it does rule in many ways, but it's not exactly in our mandate, and might piss off the owners of the land that the stream is on. so we actually try to make it look like the beaver is doing it 
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Jul 27, 2023 02:57
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General Bullshit › Dumb poo poo your work does: we actually try to make it look like the beaver is doing it
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Jul 27, 2023 04:06
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Stories about doing raps and learning dances jogged this memory free. We were told to come up with a team skit for the new fiscal kickoff event. My boss decided we would learn the dance from Remeber the Titans: https://youtu.be/betOQUfraN8. Since I was getting paid either way I went along with it. Two teammates that refused were eventually written up by our boss. One quit and the other tried to meet the PIP goals until she fired him.
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Jul 27, 2023 04:25
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Bad News: A rival department brought down legal heat on themselves and my boss literally cackled when I told them about it and now I gotta actually do some work and help push the rival head out. Good News: This work can mostly be done over comped dinner and some alcohol
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Jul 27, 2023 10:28
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Sounding like organised crime again.
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Jul 27, 2023 10:40
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goatface posted:Sounding like organised crime again. It always does. It always does. Barudak, please protect your kyoudai
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Jul 27, 2023 10:44
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My yukata which says 私は反社会的勢力ではありません is raising a lot of questions answered by my yukata.
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Jul 27, 2023 10:45
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If I was an anti-social element, that's what I would wear
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Jul 27, 2023 10:50
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Barudak are you in JP goon LINE chat? Please join? PM me.
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Jul 27, 2023 12:52
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goatface posted:You should organise a beaver transplant. I’m sure Post10 would be happy to move one from the culverts he unclogs
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Jul 27, 2023 18:59
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Being paid to possibly Weekend at Bernie's a woodland mammal sounds like a pretty sweet gig
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Jul 27, 2023 19:14
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Dumb poo poo your work does: being paid to Weekend at Bernie's a woodland mammal
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Jul 27, 2023 19:30
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Sup beaver buddy, do you tree wrapping and water level siphons all that stuff too?
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Jul 27, 2023 19:48
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We just had an all-hands for Supply Chain to kick off a massive reorg that's going to be...interesting for most areas. We're about to watch people who were previously purchasing machined parts for Singapore become responsible for electronics going to Phoenix. Being in special projects keeps me from having to get moved around which is great because I haven't spent three months at a time with a single manager in the last year and could use some stability. The funniest drat thing they did was put out an FAQ where one of the questions was "With many of us already overwhelmed will this change see an increase in headcount so we can offload some of our responsibilities?" and the response was a paragraph about how current financial climate being less than ideal for adding people and how we are hoping the reorg will make everything better without adding people. Problem is that the company announced our second quarter results yesterday and our profits were up 36% over last year. We're doing better than our 2019 numbers and have several programs/customers looking to ramp up past that in the next year. Since 2021 we've had a new compliance regime get dropped on us that effectively doubles the time it takes to create a purchase order and in a sane world we would have a fleet of new grads coming in and taking that from us and moving into purchasing roles as they opened up. Instead, we're doing a week of legwork for five minutes of processing and are then responsible for monitoring every step in the production of the parts. Also rolling out this week is the new travel policy. It used to be that you could apply to travel to a supplier or customer the week before you left and outside of international trips just your supervisor would need to approve. The new company-wide policy requires a three week approval period and the VICE PRESIDENT of your division has final say. We're an aerospace company with customers and vendors all over the world, you could be based in Minnesota and be responsible for vendors in California that you visited every quarter shipping parts to Spain and France at places you would go to once a year. Occasionally, you would need to get on a plane with less than 24 hours notice to deal with a crisis. Yeah, go gently caress yourself if you think that's happening anytime soon. As much as we all learned to rely on Zoom and emails over the last few years sometimes you just NEED to see a vendor or a customer site to fully understand their capacity and bottlenecks. It'll be interesting to see how long this lasts. My wife is pissed because she only just got back to visiting customers and vendors this month and the company has effectively put us back into COVID travel policies, emergency situations only. All to make sure the shareholders get an extra quarter cent per quarter.
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Jul 27, 2023 22:47
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Sounds like a good time to step back and do the absolute barebones minimum!
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Jul 27, 2023 23:06
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Biplane posted:Sounds like a good time to step back and do the absolute barebones minimum! I actually now have a contractor who is going to be managing a bunch of my vendors when it comes to tracking part progression and status. I'm probably offloading a bunch of poo poo to him that I've been too busy to deal with in my current dual role. I was probably the only Supply Chain person to have a good day.
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Jul 27, 2023 23:26
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The international sports event (see embedded Tweet) went over budget so 5 construction supervisors + 4 interpreters during assembly → 1-2 construction supervisors + 1 interpreter during takedown. The company doesn't want to pay for hotels any more so they want the interpreters to be local. There is no talented local interpreter that can commit to the full 10 weeks of sorting scaffolding pipes outside in summer. We need to take turns, and that means we need a hotel for out of town staff. https://twitter.com/fukuoka2022jp/status/1682676859903913984
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Jul 27, 2023 23:38
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