r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for checking out of parental duties after my wife said I’m not the father?

Just commit insurance fraud! What's the big deal?

# ? Aug 10, 2023 00:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 10:09

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

AITA for not telling my mutuals i like a problematic ship which they are explicitly against?

quote:

(sorry for bringing ship discouse into your blog but i'm truly feeling troubled about this)

i (16) have multiple online mutuals who are very explicitly anti proshipping. at the time we became mutuals it didn't matter, but recently i've begun to ship a 16yo character with a 19yo character and it became sort of a comfort ship to me.

since twitter likes are public, i constantly feel like i'm walking on eggshells. despite that, i don't want these people to unfollow me, because:

1. i don't have any friends irl, so i don't want to feel isolated online as well;

2. i don't consider myself to be a proshipper (i wouldn't date a 19yo, but i don't consider the age gap between these characters really problematic) (plus proshippers support shipping incest and making nsfw of characters who are kids, and i find that gross; i don't wanna associate with that. but it's not gross enough to make callout posts like my mutuals do; i really don't care, i just block people whose content i don't wanna see.)

k that's it sorry for being terminally online

are the kids okay?

# ? Aug 10, 2023 00:55

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for not telling my mutuals i like a problematic ship which they are explicitly against?

are the kids okay?

???? ??�?? ?

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:01

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

are you winning, son?

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:02

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for not telling my mutuals i like a problematic ship which they are explicitly against?

are the kids okay?

Reminds me of the time my 15 year old niece, who I intro'd to Avatar the Last Airbender when she was four, asked me, in a hushed voice, if I had ever heard of this thing called fanfic because she was thinking of writing one. I blew her mind telling her I wrote fanfic when I was her age. No idea if she ended up writing anything, but the fact someone older than her knew what fanfic was might have broken her brain.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:05

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

Tf is a mutuals

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:07

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for not telling my mutuals i like a problematic ship which they are explicitly against?

While the ship is bad, Im deeply offended at how this person organized their argument and information to be conveyed to us. Unprofessional, we'll need to work shop this before the meeting.

Barudak fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Aug 10, 2023

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:07

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for not telling my mutuals i like a problematic ship which they are explicitly against?

are the kids okay?

Mutuals are online friends in shipping communities?????

I�m just guessing from context. Is that correct?

Edit: like, do they work together on their fanfic and fanart? Is that why �mutual� is being used.

Bored fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Aug 10, 2023

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:07

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

Ah, the pro and anti shipper thing is such a hilarious disaster. No the kids are not ok lmao

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:08

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Twitter mutuals (i.e. they follow each other), presumably

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:08

odiv: Jan 12, 2003

Mutuals are folks you follow who follow you back.

Edit: dammit Chicken!

As payment, my daughter asked me a couple of years ago if I used to watch Mr. Beast when I was a kid.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:09

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

odiv posted:

Mutuals are folks you follow who follow you back.

Oooooh! Okay. Yeah, this is the only social media I�ve used for the last close to a decade because I have had no good news to share and don�t feel like anyone wants to see me whine angrily.

Also, tons of stupid poo poo showing up in my timeline when I was on Facebook.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:11

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Ok....apparently it's Problematic Shipping, not Professional or Pro as in For Shipping

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:21

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

StrangersInTheNight posted:

its the worst, and when I did wear bras I eventually would only buy them from the lady at Orchard Corset because she was always right and always chose the best bras. If you're ever in NYC, give it a visit and you'll get the best bra fitting of your life.

I'm quoting this post mostly so I can find it again. I've been living in sports bras since Early Pandemic, my weight has fluctuated a ton, I have no idea what size I am anymore, bra shopping is the loving worst and I'm gonna be in NYC this fall, so thank you, good goon.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:26

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

so it's a bunch of kids tweeting about boats at each other? weird

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:29

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for refusing to keep doing chores for my wife?

quote:

I (28m) and have been married to my wife "Bella" (28f) for 5 years.

We both met and went to the same college. She pre-law while I was doing animation. She graduated top of our class and went to a T20 law school. While she was in law school, I had a lot of trouble finding a job in my field or a job at all, really. I ended up working in a kitchen as a line cook to help support us (in addition to loans she took out) while she was going to school so she could just focus on her classes.

Bella got a very good job in a different state after she graduated, so I quit my job and haven't gotten another one since. We have no kids, a nice house for the two of us, and are overall living very very comfortably. She works very long hours, so I take care of most of the household things. Cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, re-painting the walls and doing other work and renovations to the house.

In the last 6 months Bella's started referring to me as her "house husband" around our family and friends. I've mostly been letting it go but every single time it bothers me. I'm already insecure about not being able to find a good job and it makes me feel even more inadequate. I finally got to the end of my rope when we were with her mother on Sunday, who still doesn't really approve of me, and they were talking about taking care of the lawn/garden and she said, "Thank goodness I have a house husband for that or I'd never find the time" and smiled at me. Then they both laughed. It was humiliating.

I didn't say anything at first but I guess she could tell that I was really upset and asked what was wrong. I told her that she needed to stop emasculating me and making it seem like I didn't contribute anything to the household. We were arguing back and forth and she told me that she would stop calling me a house husband if I was going to "get that upset about it" but that it wasn't an untrue term and I needed to stop being insecure.

Bella refuses to apologize. I feel like she doesn't fully appreciate my value as her husband. I've stopped doing the chores until she apologizes and she is beyond pissed off. She's been coming home and cooking dinner (only for herself) and doing the chores I haven't and then taking off to spend the night at a friends house. I was talking to my sister about it and she told me that Bella was wrong but I was being immature in my response. The thing is, if I give in she's going to keep thinking what she's been doing is okay. I don't even know anymore. AITA?

quote:

It implies that I don't contribute anything as a husband except for domestic things and that she is the one that takes care of me in the same way a man takes care of his housewife. It is absolutely emasculating to call a man that.

quote:

Housewives aren't belittled by society for staying home and doing domestic things. People think that men should be the primary providers and to deliberately point out that I'm not is humiliating

quote:

The thing is, I know she didn't mean it in a negative way. I wouldn't have married her if she was that kind of malicious person. But it bothers me that she didn't think about the implication and even now that I've explained it, she refuses to understand how it makes me look like less of a man to everyone else.

man's angling for a demotion to houseex-husband

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:31

deoju: Jul 11, 2004; All the pieces matter.; Nap Ghost

I think its cool that kids are into logistics and moving cargo.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:31

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

odiv posted:

As payment, my daughter asked me a couple of years ago if I used to watch Mr. Beast when I was a kid.

"Of course not, honey, I had good taste"

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:33

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Look sometimes you just gotta write the Walter/Mike slashfic and drat the problematic elements ok

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:33

Tendales: Mar 9, 2012

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to keep doing chores for my wife?

Some dudes need to watch and internalize Way of the Househusband

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:39

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

lol imagine having any reaction to being called a "house husband" other than "hell yeah I am, I do basic chores and in return get to lay around playing videogames all day before banging my hot wife when she gets home :smug:

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:42

Zoya: Jun 12, 2023; echoes of a distant past,
bodies die but voices last.
once were held within a cell,
your mind is where these voices dwell.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Please don't post stories that are just straight up abuse in this thread. There's nothing funny or entertaining about that.

...my bad, i wasn't thinking about it like that, but, yeah in hindsight that makes sense

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:42

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to keep doing chores for my wife?

man's angling for a demotion to houseex-husband

"Society doesn't belittle women for being housewives!" he says right after belittling women for being housewives.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:50

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

If my hypothetical wife made a lot of money I�d go Hank Hill mode on the chores

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:51

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

I [25M] accidentally pooped on my gf�s face [23F]

quote:

So to preface this, my gf and I are very comfortable around each other. We�ve been dating about 4 years and honestly have probably gotten a little too comfortable. Hence this accident.

So basically we enjoy farting around each other on occasion. I strongly believe fart contests are a healthy part of any ltr. Everyone farts, why hide it?

So every once in a while after I get out the shower I�ll let out a nice wet cheek flapper around my gf and it usually gets a good chuckle out of both of us. Last night I was feeling extra devilish, so I decided that I would sneak up on my gf after my shower and rip a nice one directly into her face.

Well this turned out to be a very bad decision, because I proceeded to violently spray chunks of fecal matter all over my gf�s face as she lay innocently in bed getting ready to doze off. I turned around slowly in horror, realizing what I had done as she proceeded to scream and curse.

She immediately lept up and ran to the shower, and afterwards decided she needed to be alone and went back to her place for the night. I keep trying to call and text her and apologize but she hasn�t responded.

So basically what I�m asking is did I ruin the relationship? Is this something we can�t recover from and should we break up? Thx in advance ✌️

UPDATE:
So she finally answered my calls and we had a really long talk. I apologized and made it clear to her that my intentions were not to poop all over her face, but only to fart, which I also realize now is not cool.

Nevertheless, she said she doesn�t think she could ever be attracted to me after experiencing that, which I understand, so we are going to go our separate ways.

This hurts because she was my first gf. She took my virginity. She was everything to me and I literally poo poo all over her. This is gonna take a while to come back from.

I�m not gonna concede that farts aren�t funny though. They totally are, and I�ll keep farting in my future relationships, albeit to a lesser degree.

Thx Reddit ✌️

UPDATE 2:
I feel like I need to address a few things here. Some people are insulting me and saying that I violated her. Let�s be clear: my gf loved to fart on me too. She�d be sitting in my lap and let one out. Or we�d be spooning and she�d pass gas. Hell one time we were even having sex and she let loose right there on my meat.

That isnt to say I should have done what I did, but people need to understand this thing I did wasn�t completely unwarranted. We were used to laying farts on one another quite often. It�s just that this time unfortunately it was more than a fart, and I have paid for that.

But you can save the judgments and the calls for me to �grow up�. I pay my taxes and can do what I please with my flatulence.

I know this is fake because girls don't fart.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:52

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to keep doing chores for my wife?

man's angling for a demotion to houseex-husband

Youre a SAHM without the M. You won and youre throwing it all away

# ? Aug 10, 2023 01:59

Hobnob: Feb 23, 2006; Ursa Adorandum

The Maroon Hawk posted:

lol imagine having any reaction to being called a "house husband" other than "hell yeah I am, I do basic chores and in return get to lay around playing videogames all day before banging my hot wife when she gets home "

I prefer "house spouse", but yes.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:00

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Fatty posted:

I [25M] accidentally pooped on my gf�s face [23F]

I know this is fake because girls don't fart.

Lol I came to post this

r/relationships: I pay my taxes and can do what I please with my flatulence.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:06

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Arsenic Lupin posted:

C cups were considered big back when women's body expectations didn't demand or at least encourage breast enlargement.

It's also much weirder than that. Your cup size is (oversimplifying) based on the difference between your underboob (rib cage, also known as band) measurement in inches and your boob size in inches. However, manufacturers size everything up in proportion to the growing underboob size. This means that A 32D has a much smaller actual breast cup than a 38D. It is also true that a 34C -- up an underboob size, down a cup size -- may well fit a 32D as well as, or better than, their official size. The breast size hasn't changed between the 34C and the 32D, but one of them gets credit for being bodacious ta-tas, while the other is considered ordinary.

Oh yeah, it's a nightmare. But in the early 2000s, I was a lingerie salesperson and we only carried cup sizes AAA to DD. The whole heroin chic thing was real and terrible. Customers used to get upset if they were a C instead of a B because they thought they were fat.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:06

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

What's that, you say? I get to stay home all day, every day, and all I need to do is the basic chores? Hell yes, I'll even start going to the gym too
https://i.imgur.com/EXNPgRe.mp4

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:09

don longjohns: Mar 2, 2012

Fatty posted:

I [25M] accidentally pooped on my gf’s face [23F]

I know this is fake because girls don't fart.

AAAAAAAHHHHH Farting in someone's lap is extremely different from farting on their face AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:21

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to keep doing chores for my wife?
Cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, re-painting the walls and doing other work and renovations to the house.

Lol at being mad over normal tasks like cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping.

Dude is going to be really disappointed after the divorce when he realizes that he still needs to do all that poo poo *plus* work an actual job for 40 hours/week.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:21

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for telling my mother I will never forgive her for how she believed my sister�s lies over me a few years ago?

quote:

I bought a computer for study a few months ago. About 2 years ago my sister spilled tea all over it, she never apologised, never admitted it, never offered to pay for a new one. I am convinced my mother doesn�t believe me what happened that night and that is why she has never said anything to her about it. For the record I am 28 and she is 33.

I am still upset about it today but whatever. I bought a new one a few months ago and have resulted in becoming possessive over it. I�m scared it will be broken again and I don�t let people touch it. The other day I got up for two minutes, sister came back from a walk, I usually put the thing away when she is around. I got up for two minutes and by the time I got back she had thrown her rubbish on it to spite me. Ice cream wrapping just to spite me.

I was crying and screaming in frustration begging her to stay away from it. Mum told us to shut up calling us animals. I turned on her and told her to shut up. I�m trying to protect my property and I�m not spending more money. I told her she sat back and did nothing while the computer was being broken the last time and how she believed my sisters lies over me, which I�ll never forgive her for.

I know I probably overreacted, I just got so upset. AITA?

# ? Aug 10, 2023 02:45

The Bee: Nov 25, 2012; Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

I'd sympathize with the dude if he's been looking all this time and hasn't found any success. Hell, if I'm being honest, I think not being able to find a job for 6 months stuck in his craw harder than he's been willing to admit, which is why he's taking the idea of being a househusband so personally. But this is an area where he needs to look deep inside himself and self-examine his worldview, especially since he stopped searching and has been fine with it until so much attention was being brought to it.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 03:09

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Yeah, he seemed to be fine with it up until he started being called 'househusband'. He's got some beef with the term itself, I guess, or it's some masculinity at play that he's not aware of. Either way, dude needs to have a long look at himself and maybe a conversation with the wife; if she's being a little too cavalier about it, that might factor into things.

There's nothing at all wrong with being a stay-at-home husband, and the sooner society gets that through its collective skull, the better.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 03:12

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Seems wild that she apparently agreed to not call him a househusband but he's decided that is not enough and he's doing a work stoppage to get....what exactly? The respect he demands from her?

Great job marrying a lawyer, getting to stay at home with no kids, then feel like blowing it up because you watched too many andrew tate IG lives or something

There's like zero chance when she tells her coworkers about her husband who does everything around the house they aren't openly saying they wish they had the same.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 04:23

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

are the kids okay?

I have no idea. I didn't understand any of that.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 04:48

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

He also wants an apology. And she�s still cooking herself a meal when she comes home while he�s on strike so technically she�s a scab.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 04:51

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

I don't think she's gonna be in that union much longer.

# ? Aug 10, 2023 04:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 10:09

gvibes: Jan 18, 2010; Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

The Lone Badger posted:

I have no idea. I didn't understand any of that.

Have we really gotten through the entire page without anyone explaining what shipping is

# ? Aug 10, 2023 04:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »