[Parents] lerned 2 be very cautious with how deep my finger goes into the tankie pamp

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Parents] lerned 2 be very cautious with how deep my finger goes into the tankie pamp

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BonHair: Apr 28, 2007

Mustached Demon posted:

Same, kiddo, same

Beer is one of those things were baby does not get to decide. He sure wants it though!

My wife is apparently a master breastfeeder, both kids caught on pretty quickly and there has been zero problems other than lack of interest after exposure to my baking skills. Based on other people we know, it's probably mostly luck with production and sucky kids, but also a pretty chill attitude about it, basically believing it would work and also formula exists if it doesn't so no biggie.

# ? Aug 5, 2023 20:17

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# ? May 24, 2024 23:47

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

Ammon Bundy and his friends owe a hospital here over $50mil because some parents couldn't get "fed is best"

# ? Aug 5, 2023 20:17

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

brugroffil posted:

My 4yo has begun contemplating his own death

my 6yo says her plan for when she dies is to turn into a ghost so she can steal chips from people

# ? Aug 5, 2023 20:28

Armacham: Mar 3, 2007; Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?

Watching my 11 month old shovel handfuls of yogurt and oatmeal into her mouth is my favorite

# ? Aug 5, 2023 20:40

Struensee: Nov 9, 2011

Wife was away with the kids for a week and my 2 year old remarked "daddy sad" when he came home, nope, just happy to see you.

# ? Aug 6, 2023 08:18

silvergoose: Mar 18, 2006; IT IS SAID THE TEARS OF THE BWEENIX CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS

Second Hand Meat Mouth posted:

baby-led weaning is ftw because you just start giving them normal food at six months and let them figure it out (and skip the puree bullshit)

giving your baby a literal piece of pizza to gnaw on is awesome for everyone

idk our first absolutely loved homemade strawberry sauce, avocado, mashed sweet potato

# ? Aug 6, 2023 13:08

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

We tried to let our first do baby-led weaning and she led us straight to purees. They were the only thing she'd touch for like a month

# ? Aug 6, 2023 13:21

BonHair: Apr 28, 2007

First day of school for the six year old was today. He was quite nervous about it, but we didn't make a big deal out of it beforehand, so he was kinda excited on the way there even. And then everything was completely chill and good over there. Because it's the autism class, he has 6 classmates, his own cubicle (which is a plus in this case) and two out of four pedagogues in addition to the teacher, all of whom seemed super nice. He was low key exhausted after two hours, but it was really the best possible start and class for him. It's gonna be better than I had feared, and quite possibly actually really good in a few weeks!

Also, for that political content, this is all free public option in Denmark, although far from the standard package of one teacher to 26 kids.

# ? Aug 8, 2023 19:10

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

My kids managed to find a tub of Petroleum Jelly in the bathroom early in the morning, and proceeded to use it to generously lubricate the hardwood floor. My wife awoke to the sounds of them careening down the hallway, alienating between using one another as a human toboggan.

My wife:
:gonk:

"Why? Why did you do this?! Why did you think this was okay?"
:j:

"We were bored and wanted to make a slip n slide in the house!"

# ? Aug 11, 2023 03:52

Nocturtle: Mar 17, 2007

We felt bad for sending our older kid to basically summer school so after it ended signed them up for a week of coding camp. I think we're forgiven.

Panfilo posted:

My kids managed to find a tub of Petroleum Jelly in the bathroom early in the morning, and proceeded to use it to generously lubricate the hardwood floor. My wife awoke to the sounds of them careening down the hallway, alienating between using one another as a human toboggan.

My wife:
"Why? Why did you do this?! Why did you think this was okay?"
"We were bored and wanted to make a slip n slide in the house!"

lol oh no

# ? Aug 11, 2023 04:08

Dreylad: Jun 19, 2001

purees were cool beacuse i could make a giant batch of it and stick it in some ice cube trays. instant meals for a month.

but those were the glory days where the kid would eat anything, then she wouldn't try anything. now she's at least trying stuff again, even if she doesn't like a lot of it. toddlers are weird and make no sense.

# ? Aug 11, 2023 04:15

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Nocturtle posted:

We felt bad for sending our older kid to basically summer school so after it ended signed them up for a week of coding camp. I think we're forgiven.

d&d camp. it loving rules hearing his stories every night

Panfilo posted:

My wife:
"Why? Why did you do this?! Why did you think this was okay?"
"We were bored and wanted to make a slip n slide in the house!"

how could you stay mad?

# ? Aug 11, 2023 04:17

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

Toddler taste buds change like every week so don't sweat their ever changing food tastes

doesn't help that their growth slows and thus they don't need as much food and uh they're monsters

Toddler demons delaying bedtime tonight by... Grabbing a head of broccoli and gnawing on it. Can't be mad, he's downed like half

# ? Aug 11, 2023 04:32

AxGrap: Jan 11, 2005; ☝☯ Ŧ𝓤𝒸Ҝ 𝓨𝕠𝔲! 🐼👽

"you have to show me you're awake if you want to keep watching the movie"
"I'm awake" -- instantly asleep

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:42

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

my kid has fallen asleep somewhere outside their bed one time in their seven year life, zero chance of falling asleep if there's a TV on or basically any other time

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:46

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

mom came to visit and she told me I'm a good dad.

other people saying that doesn't mean anything to me but when my mom says it i know she really means it.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 02:11

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

BonHair posted:

First day of school for the six year old was today. He was quite nervous about it, but we didn't make a big deal out of it beforehand, so he was kinda excited on the way there even. And then everything was completely chill and good over there. Because it's the autism class, he has 6 classmates, his own cubicle (which is a plus in this case) and two out of four pedagogues in addition to the teacher, all of whom seemed super nice. He was low key exhausted after two hours, but it was really the best possible start and class for him. It's gonna be better than I had feared, and quite possibly actually really good in a few weeks!

Also, for that political content, this is all free public option in Denmark, although far from the standard package of one teacher to 26 kids.

oh that beats the hell out of here. I�m in like do I file a civil right lawsuit territory ?

# ? Aug 13, 2023 02:16

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

good god we had a poo poo catastrophe like we haven't had in a while. I got poo poo on my knee

# ? Aug 13, 2023 02:58

Sherbert Hoover: Dec 12, 2019; Working hard, thank you!

DR FRASIER KRANG posted:

mom came to visit and she told me I'm a good dad.

other people saying that doesn't mean anything to me but when my mom says it i know she really means it.

hell yeah, dude :toot:

# ? Aug 13, 2023 05:09

tristeham: Jul 31, 2022

DR FRASIER KRANG posted:

mom came to visit and she told me I'm a good dad.

other people saying that doesn't mean anything to me but when my mom says it i know she really means it.

nice one

# ? Aug 13, 2023 11:36

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Meanwhile in know I'm a failure as a dad, because my 3 year old just checked out manga from the library

# ? Aug 13, 2023 15:08

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

ikanreed posted:

Meanwhile in know I'm a failure as a dad, because my 3 year old just checked out manga from the library

Might as well just buy them a forums account and get it over with

# ? Aug 14, 2023 06:50

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

ikanreed posted:

Meanwhile in know I'm a failure as a dad, because my 3 year old just checked out manga from the library

Don't beat yourself up until you know whether they're subs or dubs.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 09:43

Votskomit: Jun 26, 2013

Armacham posted:

Watching my 11 month old shovel handfuls of yogurt and oatmeal into her mouth is my favorite

Same.

I give mine little bowls of oats, yogurt, berries, banana. She shoves them all into the same bowl then goes to town.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 12:01

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Children make parents happy, after all

https://www.economist.com/international/2019/07/10/children-make-parents-happy-after-all

quote:

FOR THE past twenty years or so, social scientists have affirmed what parents think when they are at their most exasperated and dyspeptic: children make you miserable. In 2004 Daniel Kahneman of Princeton University and others discovered that parents thought that looking after their children was about as enjoyable as doing the housework. Two meta-studies (studies of studies) in 2012 found that, in most of the research, self-reported �life satisfaction� (a measure of happiness) was a bit lower when there was a child in the house.

The effect was not large. But there is something odd about these findings. In rich countries at least, people decide to have children. A few children are doubtless unplanned but only a few. If children make parents unhappy, why do they keep having them? The puzzle, says Letizia Mencarini of Bocconi University, is why isn�t fertility even lower in countries where people have a choice? Parents far outnumber the childless at every stage of adulthood. A new generation of research helps answer that question, and suggests that children are more likely to make parents happy than was once thought.

The new research is based on longer, more detailed statistical series measuring happiness�usually defined as �subjective well-being��along with new techniques to analyse links between it and parenthood. To see the importance of this, remember that the point at which a parent�s happiness is measured makes a big difference, whether it is just before birth, just after or long after. Previous data sets were often too imprecise to measure this accurately. The new ones can.

So what do they show? First, that in rich countries, happier people are more likely to have children. It has long been known this is true for countries such as Denmark and Sweden, which have higher fertility rates than average, between 1.8 and 1.9 (fertility rates measure the likely number of children an average woman will have during her lifetime). They also report unusually high levels of life satisfaction. Bulgaria and Hungary, on the other hand, have lower fertility rates (1.5 to 1.6) and lower levels of happiness. But that does not necessarily mean that happiness causes people to have children or vice versa: both low happiness and low fertility may be the result of being poorer, or worse educated, or of many other things.

Ms Mencarini and three co-authors show that what is true for countries as a whole is true within countries too. They combed through the numbers for seven rich nations to isolate the impact of life satisfaction. They found that everywhere, happier people are more likely to have children. They also found that the influence of happiness was greater on the decision to have a second or a third child than it is on the first. This has significance for public policy in countries which want to increase very low fertility: they need to work out how to persuade couples with one child to have another.

Sadly, a second finding of the research, shows why that is not easy. Though happier people are more likely to have children, it does not follow that children necessarily keep them cheerful. That depends on other things. Whether parents are married is one. Single parents are usually less happy than married ones. The age of the child is another. Children under ten seem to bring more joy than those over that age. And money matters a lot. David Blanchflower of Dartmouth College and Andrew Clarke of the Paris School of Economics managed to isolate the financial strain of raising children as an influence on parental happiness. They argue that it is the cost of raising kids, rather than children in the abstract, that reduces pleasure.

But the most important influence seems to be the pressure of work. It has long been known that the difficulty of balancing the demands of work and home life increase exponentially when children arrive and this results in a significant amount of stress, especially for the mother, who is usually the main caregiver. Some parents also suffer a decline in well-being soon after a child�s birth, presumably as the reality of nappies sets in. This fall is consistently largest among parents who also report conflicts at work or (which has the same effect) family tension. So a work/life imbalance gets in the way of the pleasure parents feel in their children.

Intriguingly, a study by Francesca Luppi, also of Bocconi University, finds that parents who report a good balance between life and work are more likely to have a second child and more likely to have one soon after the first.

This has policy implications too. For governments which want to get their birth rates up, or simply put grins on the faces of their citizens, providing better child care seems to work well, certainly in France, for instance, and the Nordic countries. It increases both people�s happiness and their desire to have children. Children, in short, do seem to bring about happiness. And happiness brings about children.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 13:17

Judgy Fucker: Mar 24, 2006

My preschool-aged daughter informed me yesterday, unprompted, that she wants to be a police officer when she grows up. I asked her why, and her response was "so I can get mad and arrest people. Like you and mama."

Didn't think I'd be sending her off to a reeducation facility at such a young age, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 14:05

Nocturtle: Mar 17, 2007

I've been reading Pippi Longstocking to my kids, obviously expurgating on-the-fly the various parts where Pippi spouts off a series of ugly racial stereotypes. Anyway in one chapter Pippi defies and humiliates a pair of brusque policemen, maybe they might like that part.

The parts where Pippi goes off are very bad though, and they go on and on.

Microplastics posted:

Children make parents happy, after all

https://www.economist.com/international/2019/07/10/children-make-parents-happy-after-all

Children + too much work confirmed less than ideal, glad that was worked out.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 14:54

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Just dealt with the biggest blowout I've ever seen (Simpsons meme, biggest blowout you've seen so far)

Filled the diaper, down both legs to the toes, up the back and belly, on my arm in one visible spot and one spot I couldn't see (so that way I got it on my shirt too)

We were lucky in the long run really, none of it got on the furniture or rug or any of my clothes other than that one spot. Counting my blessings

# ? Aug 14, 2023 15:01

Mustached Demon: Nov 12, 2016

loquacius posted:

Just dealt with the biggest blowout I've ever seen (Simpsons meme, biggest blowout you've seen so far)

Filled the diaper, down both legs to the toes, up the back and belly, on my arm in one visible spot and one spot I couldn't see (so that way I got it on my shirt too)

We were lucky in the long run really, none of it got on the furniture or rug or any of my clothes other than that one spot. Counting my blessings

that's right to the bath levels nice work

# ? Aug 14, 2023 15:08

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

loquacius posted:

Just dealt with the biggest blowout I've ever seen (Simpsons meme, biggest blowout you've seen so far)

Filled the diaper, down both legs to the toes, up the back and belly, on my arm in one visible spot and one spot I couldn't see (so that way I got it on my shirt too)

We were lucky in the long run really, none of it got on the furniture or rug or any of my clothes other than that one spot. Counting my blessings

lol fond memories of this happening at a Target

really put the diaper bag to the test

# ? Aug 14, 2023 18:25

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

That happened to us when we were hiking, but luckily we were just plying our way through an english village at the time. Fond memories of changing him on the only available surface, a bench at the ww1 war memorial

# ? Aug 14, 2023 19:04

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Having now changed a SECOND giant poop on the day (not a blowout this time though!!!) all I can say is thank God I don't have one of those baby boys I kept hearing about that are just constantly peeing into the air whenever their diaper comes off bc that would make this WAY harder

# ? Aug 14, 2023 22:16

Kal-L: Jan 18, 2005; Heh... Spider-man... Web searches... That's funny. I should've trademarked that one. Could've made a mint.

Judgy Fucker posted:

My preschool-aged daughter informed me yesterday, unprompted, that she wants to be a police officer when she grows up. I asked her why, and her response was "so I can get mad and arrest people. Like you and mama."

Didn't think I'd be sending her off to a reeducation facility at such a young age, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Not her fault that you and/or your wife are cops. Children tell no lies. :colbert:

loquacius posted:

Having now changed a SECOND giant poop on the day (not a blowout this time though!!!) all I can say is thank God I don't have one of those baby boys I kept hearing about that are just constantly peeing into the air whenever their diaper comes off bc that would make this WAY harder

We just bathed our baby girl, and just as I was getting ready to put on the diaper, is when she let out some pee. Not before, when she was in her bathtub of after, with the diaper on. :sigh:

Her first two teeth are starting to come out. That probably has something to do with her starting to do her best impression of those goats that scream: just start making noise for a while. It's not because of hunger, or needing a diaper change or any other evident cause. This stresses my wife because she thinks a quiet baby is a happy baby. This week we have the regular doctor appointment and will ask about those yelling episodes.

# ? Aug 15, 2023 08:49

fartman: Sep 19, 2021

loquacius posted:

Just dealt with the biggest blowout I've ever seen (Simpsons meme, biggest blowout you've seen so far)

Filled the diaper, down both legs to the toes, up the back and belly, on my arm in one visible spot and one spot I couldn't see (so that way I got it on my shirt too)

We were lucky in the long run really, none of it got on the furniture or rug or any of my clothes other than that one spot. Counting my blessings

it does get better OP. we finally retired the bed pee mats this week

# ? Aug 15, 2023 19:11

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

My younger daughter was horsing around and pushed her big sister a bit too hard when they were supposed to take a shower and caused her to fall wrist first on the tile :gonk:

and while I'm icing her wrist and hoping she doesn't have a sprain (or worse) my younger daughter exploits this distraction to getting her hair in a softball sized knot around a comb that I can't get out.

They start school tomorrow morning :shepicide:

# ? Aug 16, 2023 00:01

lobster shirt: Jun 14, 2021

loquacius posted:

Just dealt with the biggest blowout I've ever seen (Simpsons meme, biggest blowout you've seen so far)

Filled the diaper, down both legs to the toes, up the back and belly, on my arm in one visible spot and one spot I couldn't see (so that way I got it on my shirt too)

We were lucky in the long run really, none of it got on the furniture or rug or any of my clothes other than that one spot. Counting my blessings

the worst blowout i ever had, there was such a big pile of poo poo on the floor i thought my son had taken his diaper off and just taken a dump. but no... basically his entire diaper region, front and back, was also coated in sludge. horrifying.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 03:07

BonHair: Apr 28, 2007

My oldest just shat like 5 times a day, so we didn't get blowouts :smug:

# ? Aug 16, 2023 06:05

Chad Sexington: May 26, 2005; I think he made a beautiful post and did a great job and he is good.

Nothing triggers my 1 year old like cleaning up. Put her blocks in their bucket or stack those cups neatly? She will sprint crawl across the room to gently caress them up and then roll the crucial middle piece deep under some furniture. Truly an agent of chaos.

# ? Aug 16, 2023 11:11

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

My 22mo saw Tom Cruise escaping the baddies in mission impossible 3 and screamed "oh noooo!" at the screen

Literally pointing and screaming "oh no!" repeatedly at Tom running down a corridor and eluding capture

# ? Aug 16, 2023 16:30

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# ? May 24, 2024 23:47

Armacham: Mar 3, 2007; Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?

Hold still, let me at that booger

# ? Aug 17, 2023 02:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Parents] lerned 2 be very cautious with how deep my finger goes into the tankie pamp

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