r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Lt. Danger posted:

little known science fact: men can't marry you if you stand perfectly still

Its love language is based on movement

# ? Aug 17, 2023 17:42

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# ? May 29, 2024 20:12

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

maybe she didn't want to get married yet

That's not what she told him, though,s he told him �I just want to make sure that this will work.� after having previously discussed marriage and her seemingly being 100% on board and 'not seeing herself with anyone else'. If she isn't sure after four years, and a Year after the previous proposal, then I'm not sure what this guy can do to make her sure.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 17:48

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

maybe she didn't want to get married yet

It sounds like she�s going to continue being not married yet, why is she upset about it?

# ? Aug 17, 2023 17:58

MajorBonnet: May 28, 2009; How did I get here?

Lt. Danger posted:

little known science fact: men can't marry you if you stand perfectly still

This falls apart within 3 meters of an altar, though, fair warning.

MajorBonnet fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Aug 17, 2023

# ? Aug 17, 2023 17:58

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

She sought primarily the knowledge of whether she should marry him or not, and his recent actions throw in new math

# ? Aug 17, 2023 17:59

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

FMguru posted:

someone saying "look, I admit I wasn't the kindest/best/most supportive/etc." which 100% guarantees the person saying it is absolutely The rear end in a top hat.

I'm not mean to her, when she moved in I was mean to her.

We're FAMILY

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:04

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I think marriage is dumb, and I regret doing it twice and won't do it again. But, some people haven't yet arrived at that truth yet. For those people, wanting to be married vs not wanting to be married can be a fundamental incompatibility depending on how strong the preference is. So the OP who left his GF after she said no to marriage twice is fine. I don't know about the "well she's really just keeping him around" stuff. Sounds like she likes him well enough to be his GF for 4 years. But he wants to get married and she doesn't.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:06

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

captainOrbital posted:

I'm not mean to her, when she moved in I was mean to her.

Yes, but you see, that happened in the PAST, which means it doesn't count. QED.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:10

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

There�s nothing weird about being in a ltr that you value and don�t want to give up while still being unsure about big capital M Marriage decisions. It sounds like their relationship has pretty garbage communication tho. �Wait another year and try again� doesn�t really strike me as an effective technique to fix that.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:12

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

haveblue posted:

Its love language is based on movement

Mods?

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:12

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Kurieg posted:

That's not what she told him, though,s he told him �I just want to make sure that this will work.� after having previously discussed marriage and her seemingly being 100% on board and 'not seeing herself with anyone else'. If she isn't sure after four years, and a Year after the previous proposal, then I'm not sure what this guy can do to make her sure.

i don't know if i'd be able to give a coherent answer to my furious partner demanding why i didn't want to marry them on the spot either.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:27

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

My(31f) boyfriend (34m) claims that going on a cruise is cheating

quote:

My boyfriend (34m) and I(31f) have been dating for three years and do not live together. My friend is turning forty and has always been really into cruises and wanted to do one for her birthday, asking me to go. Since I have yet to go on one I agreed and invited my sister who she is also friends with. My friend then invited a slew of her other friends. The only two friends of hers that want to come are men. One she previously dated and another that has a girlfriend. My friend is single and my sister is married. My boyfriend claims that me going on the cruise at all with two other men is cheating, even if not physically. The girls are sharing a room and the dudes are rooming together. He made no remarks toward the trip until he invited me to a wedding (two weeks before)??? And I reminded him that the cruise group was supposed to meet for the first time that evening( he was invited) but I would be happy to reschedule and accompany him. He got angry and took the invitation back saying that he couldn't have me representing him at a wedding when I'm doing things like this, as in going on a cruise with two men.

How dare you exist in the vicinity of other men!

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:31

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Ravenfood posted:

Yeah, that's why I said I have no problem with them having a med alert bracelet essentially saying that they don't want CPR. That's fine. I have no problem respecting people's wishes about receiving resuscitative care.

I have a huge problem with projecting that out and misunderstanding or misapplying statistics to lie about the efficacy and rationale behind CPR.

I was drunk, I made my point badly.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:36

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

i don't know if i'd be able to give a coherent answer to my furious partner demanding why i didn't want to marry them on the spot either.

I think it's totally reasonable for her to panic, but it's also true that if she's not ready and he is, there's a point where he needs to move on to find someone who is. It's fair for him to want a partner who wants the same things he does. It sounds like she's that person on paper, but when the actual moment comes she backs away from committing. Proposals are pretty big moments, they're lynchpin points where relationships can break.

Probably what's happening is that they're realizing they want different things out of life/relationships. She might even have been lying to herself about wanting to get married at all and it's only hitting her when the potential reality presents itself. I empathize with her for that, but I also understand why, for him, it can't stay in bf/gf status - it either needs to move up into more commitment or they go their separate ways.

Like, I get that she's probably not sure, but that she seems to love him and wants to stay with him - but OP is pretty clear he can't stick around for that anymore and needs more.

That said, it also kind of hinges on what their conversations were like that year between the two proposals, and if they ever talked about what happened and realigned or if he just waited silently without ever approaching it and popped the question again after waiting exactly 1years and then got upset.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 18:42 on Aug 17, 2023

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:39

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

Hughlander posted:

My(31f) boyfriend (34m) claims that going on a cruise is cheating

How dare you exist in the vicinity of other men!

love when the answer to my question* is right in between the lines there

*why is the BF not also going on the cruise?

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:42

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Desert Bus posted:

I was drunk, I made my point badly.

Like 1/500 people will die from their ribs puncturing organs if you try CPR

It's good but the success rate is only like 15%. Sure try it, but if they live you're gonna gently caress up their life FOREVER.

You think you'd be OK being alive with a hosed up ribcage but you won't

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:44

Pomme de Terror: Sep 30, 2021; Well, one of us must have killed him!

AITA for dismissing my rude teen daughter�s feelings?

quote:

Hi, am I out of line? I�m F45, and my daughter is 18.

Recently, my terminally ill aunt died a week after summer break started. (After a few months of her quick deterioration and just a few days of being in hospice because she had no response to treatment.)

My daughter has always been a closed off, reserved person. However, she�s a little immature when she doesn�t get what she wants, and is very snide and in your face sometimes during those occasions.

When my aunt died, my sister came over and has been here ever since, for about four weeks now, when we arranged the funeral and reception. My daughter did not cry or look upset at all, even though she�d sometimes go to look after her greataunt on the days her greatuncle needed to go out, since she was bedbound and completely paralysed and unable to speak. You�d expect some sort of reaction, right? But she had none. She�d avoid her greataunt a lot, and never talked to me about her.

For this reason, I assumed she was just detached as a lot of children usually are, and left her alone. However, since her aunt and her three young children came to stay, she has been very bratty, and complains when she has to clean up after them because they�re quite spoiled. She�s like this everytime they come to stay, because my sister is quite an unhygienic person and she and her children have had lice for years. She didn�t say anything to them since my aunt is grieving, so she hides in her room for the whole day because she feels �stuffy� and �repulsed.� Always asking me when they will leave. I understand why she feels this way, I don�t like how the children and my sister crowd my home and not clean up after themselves. But they�re family, and we�re grieving even if she�s not.

She even hated the reception, not serving the guests (family and family friends.) and looking annoyed when I told her to, as she said she just wanted to �sit there.� It was very embarrassing for me. All she needed to do was hand out water.

I told her not to be too mean, as they�re family and her aunt is grieving, but she, being immature, narrowed her eyes at me and told me she feels trapped in this house, wanting space, before she went back to her room, even when I ask her to come downstairs and spend time with me.

She�s usually a sweet girl. Very smart and mature, even emotionally, and very perceptive, but for the past few weeks she�s been more reclusive and bratty than usual, even more so than other times when her aunt has been around. Am I right in being dismissive of her attitude and �feelings�? It seems to me, as of recently, there�s been a bad change in her. Even if she doesn�t care about her greataunt dying, someone who has taken care of her before developing this illness and who she has known since she was young, she should at least think of her aunt�s needs.

Honestly, I�m quite annoyed. My mother told me I should just leave her alone to herself, but she needs to be kinder.

aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

quote:

EDIT !!!!!!

Hello, everyone. Thank you for all the comments you�ve left, they have really opened my eyes to a lot of the stuff I had a responsibility to notice, but did not. I admit that tradition has influenced a lot of my decisions and my own personality and that has in turn affected my daughter, as much as I ignored it.

I will be having a long discussion with my sister about her problems, trying to sort her hygiene out as well as making her go back home, and giving my daughter a much needed apology. I don�t want to lose her, as many of you had pointed out that the longer I continue on this route, the higher the likelihood she�ll cut me off. I�ll talk to her, and I�ll try to help her however she needs me to help.

Unfortunately, I am not in America but I have called the social services on my sister before and they closed the case after a very short investigation. I will not be calling them again due to their terrible service, but I will force my sister to get her act together by completely barring her from my house until she takes my advice. Only until she has begun to take care of her own kids, will I allow her near my own.

I will also be trying my best to earn my child�s forgiveness.

Once again, thank you for calling me out on my behaviour. I need to change for my daughter. This has gone on far too long, and it isn�t fair on her.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 18:55

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Hughlander posted:

My(31f) boyfriend (34m) claims that going on a cruise is cheating

How dare you exist in the vicinity of other men!

Lol at "representing" him.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:01

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

FMguru posted:

Oh this is good. I love both 1) the way OP heard "sure, I'll kick in to help you with your wedding" as "I'll fully underwrite your $100k dream wedding", and 2) the appearance of my favorite AITA tic, someone saying "look, I admit I wasn't the kindest/best/most supportive/etc." which 100% guarantees the person saying it is absolutely The rear end in a top hat.

I like that big sis is mad about �at most she�ll pay for the dress� as though that isn�t a $1,500+ gift right there.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:10

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for dismissing my rude teen daughter�s feelings?

aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i love how OP talks about her grown adult daughter as if she's a petulant toddler. somehow i don't think she's going to keep her promise to be "better this time, really!"

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Scapegoat child gets the best revenge (by living well off of the inheritance given to her by the one relative who had her back).

AITA for not sharing my inheritance with the rest of my �family�?

quote:

My family situation is messy. I (25F) was engaged four years ago to my high school sweetheart. My fianc� cheated on me with my sister (28F). We had never had a good relationship even as kids, so after I found out, I went scorched earth both of them. She was �so in love� with my fianc�, but he dumped her within two weeks and was back trying to get me to forgive him (I didn�t). My parents were initially on my side, but my sister had a nervous breakdown after she was dumped and was hospitalized so they changed their tune to �it�s over now and you can�t be mad for ever�. So I dumped them, too, and went to grad school on the other side of the country.

My grandfather was livid with the whole thing, disowned my sister, and chewed out my parents. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one who was on my side and understood. I was able to get my job to let me work remotely and moved back to take care of him when he got sick last fall and I was devistated when he passed a couple of months ago. I had been in limited contact with my parents since I came back mostly because I didn�t want to be an obstacle to my dad seeing my grandfather, but with the understanding that any discussion of my sister or what happened would end that.

It turns out that my grandfather left me virtually everything. He left enough for my father to cover a debt and some token stuff for a couple of other relatives, but he wrote a letters for everyone and did a video tape with his attorney explaining what his intentions were. I knew that he had done well for himself, but he lived a pre simple lifestyle so I didn�t realize how much money and assets he really had. I would give it all up to have my papaw back but even after taxes it is set for life money.

My parents are pretty mad about it. One of the reasons stated for cutting them out was how disappointed my grandfather was with how they had treated me growing up vs my sister and over the fiance debacle. There were other reasons, but that�s what they�re fixated on. The will is pretty airtight apparently, so my parents want me to �do the right thing� and share it equally between me, them, and my sister. Their argument is that I don�t need it. I make more than both of them combined and this would allow them to retire. My sister is not doing great and can�t hold a job, so this would ensure she has something for when my parents pass.

I don�t want to. My grandfather�s wishes were crystal clear, and also I kind of don�t feel like doing more than the minimum for any of them. They�ve been telling me that I�m being vindictive because of a mistake years ago. I can�t deny there might be a little vindictiveness there. I don�t want them to suffer necessarily, but I also don�t feel like they deserve my help.

OP also was the only one to spend time with gramps when he was going through his final days - everyone else was too busy.

quote:

That never has set well with me. Their excuse was that they worked all the time and he could afford home health services. Papaw didn�t even need much, just someone to keep the house up, get him to appointments, and make sure he ate and was ok on bad days during his treatment. Even though I�m hurt that he�s gone, I�m just really grateful I got to spend his last year with him and I wasn�t expecting to inherit more than his dog and a few keepsakes.

Huh, I wonder why gramps cut everyone else out of the will in favor of OP?

e: Gramps writing letters and even cutting a videotape explaining why he wasn't leaving anyone else a nickel was a nice touch.

FMguru fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Aug 17, 2023

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:16

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Desert Bus posted:

Like 1/500 people will die from their ribs puncturing organs if you try CPR

It's good but the success rate is only like 15%. Sure try it, but if they live you're gonna gently caress up their life FOREVER.

You think you'd be OK being alive with a hosed up ribcage but you won't

At this rate you're gonna get banned for drunkposting.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:20

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

McSpanky posted:

At this rate you're gonna get banned for drunkposting.

Won't be the first or last time

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:25

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

StrangersInTheNight posted:

I think it's totally reasonable for her to panic, but it's also true that if she's not ready and he is, there's a point where he needs to move on to find someone who is. It's fair for him to want a partner who wants the same things he does. It sounds like she's that person on paper, but when the actual moment comes she backs away from committing. Proposals are pretty big moments, they're lynchpin points where relationships can break.

Probably what's happening is that they're realizing they want different things out of life/relationships. She might even have been lying to herself about wanting to get married at all and it's only hitting her when the potential reality presents itself. I empathize with her for that, but I also understand why, for him, it can't stay in bf/gf status - it either needs to move up into more commitment or they go their separate ways.

This is a fair take - only reason I mentioned the "testing" bullshit before is because I've seen/heard it happen way too often & it plays out similarly. Couple agrees they're on board with something then one keeps backing out or changing plans in the hope that the other will break down or "try harder" as if they need to further prove their worth or some garbage. The way she treated OP, on top of how other people like her family ridiculed him & literally called him a baby, doesn't scream cold feet to me, especially when SHE refuses to elaborate. Personally I don't blame him for bailing, sounds like he dodged a nuke with both her & her family/friends.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 19:49

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

FMguru posted:

e: Gramps writing letters and even cutting a videotape explaining why he wasn't leaving anyone else a nickel was a nice touch.

Lol yeah that got a chuckle out of me, jumping on your motorcycle and riding into the sunset of life while flipping everyone except OP the bird

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:06

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

i don't know if i'd be able to give a coherent answer to my furious partner demanding why i didn't want to marry them on the spot either.

she had four years to figure it out, why does she deserve another second of OPs time?

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:10

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

AITA for calling out my friend for saying it's safe to sleep with a blocked nose?

quote:

I have a cold right now, I've been awake for three days. I invited my friend over because I was feeling irritable and wanted some company. He said I looked really tired and I said that I am, he asked why I'm not sleeping and I told him it's because my nose is blocked and I don't want to use the decongestant spray that I have too much because it can make it worse. (I've never slept with my mouth open ever, I always stay awake whenever I'm congested and my record is about a week).

He basically dared me to go to sleep breathing through my mouth, telling me it was safe. So I tried it, I was lying on my back with my mouth open slightly, I was drifting off to sleep and then BOOM... big mistake, I woke up gasping for air and it was legitimately the worst feeling ever.

My mouth closed as I was dozing off, and since I couldn't breathe through my nose I started suffocating causing me to wake up. It took like an hour for me to settle down after that and my friend was laughing at me, I told him it's not funny and he lied to me, we were supposed to go watch a movie this Friday but I told him I'm not going to go. He's saying I'm making a big deal out of it but this poo poo scared me and he knows I have issues with anxiety. AITA here?

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:19

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for calling out my friend for saying it's safe to sleep with a blocked nose?

We spend our days walking around with a gateway to the aggregate of all human knowledge literally in our pockets, where do people come up with this poo poo?

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:23

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

If you're feeling irritable why did you invite a friend over

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:24

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It's no fun being irritable by yourself.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:27

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Foo Diddley posted:

i love how OP talks about her grown adult daughter as if she's a petulant toddler. somehow i don't think she's going to keep her promise to be "better this time, really!"

Lice for years???

As in, there's been generations on their heads.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:29

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

Cowslips Warren posted:

Lice for years???

As in, there's been generations on their heads.

Well at this point tenant�s rights have kicked in so if you want to get rid of the lice you need to serve them an eviction notice, the courts get involved, it�s a whole big thing.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:34

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Cowslips Warren posted:

Lice for years???

As in, there's been generations on their heads.

i only asked you to be a maid for people so filthy that entire vermin civilizations are thriving on them, why are you being such a brat about this

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:35

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Foo Diddley posted:

i only asked you to be a maid for people so filthy that entire vermin civilizations are thriving on them, why are you being such a brat about this

It�s been so long civilizations have risen and fell. If you part their hair in the right place you can see where two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand on the scalp

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:40

Tijuana-A-Go-Go: Aug 2, 2019; Doggles Aficionado

I bet there's distinct factions and communities on those heads

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:49

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for calling out my friend for saying it's safe to sleep with a blocked nose?

This person is sick and invited someone to hang out with them. Even without their irrational biology beliefs, what an rear end in a top hat. Then again the friend went to hang out so maybe they deserve it.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 20:54

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for calling out my friend for saying it's safe to sleep with a blocked nose?

A stunning intellect

# ? Aug 17, 2023 21:34

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for calling out my friend for saying it's safe to sleep with a blocked nose?

I'd be a dead man if it wasn't safe. My nose likes to clog up approximately at bedtime and despite using sprays, strips, rinses, and decongestives I still end up breathing through my mouth at least part of the night. I wake up with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and dry as a bone. Since I sleep on my sides I also drool over my pillow during the night. Ah, the joys of aging.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 21:36

atomicdream: Oct 4, 2017; shaking my money maker to fund my crippling glamour addiction.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 21:37

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# ? May 29, 2024 20:12

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

quantumwell posted:

I'd be a dead man if it wasn't safe. My nose likes to clog up approximately at bedtime and despite using sprays, strips, rinses, and decongestives I still end up breathing through my mouth at least part of the night. I wake up with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and dry as a bone. Since I sleep on my sides I also drool over my pillow during the night. Ah, the joys of aging.

I mouth breathe during the night and I used to think the worst was drooling on partners but it's really your throat drying out and the morning puke being bloody.

# ? Aug 17, 2023 21:40

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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