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Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
HERE COMES (TWO) NEW CHALLENGERS for the FGC

1. Fighter's name
Sakura Kasugano

2. Fighter's hometown
Tokyo, Japan

3. Fighter's everyday weight/what he can cut down to
150 pounds (lightweight)

4. Choose your base from the following
-Karate

5. Choose a secondary focus from the above list or choose 'cross-training' for all-around training.
Cross-training

6. Flaws/Perks

Take an equal number of flaws and perks. '0' is a number.

Flaws:
-Injury Prone
-Bleeds a lot

Perks
-Heart of a Champion
-Cardio Machine

7. Strategy

Choose up to three of the following to specialize in, and up to three to avoid using

Specialize:
-Standard Striking
-Counter Grappling
-Hit and Run

Avoid:
-Smother
-All Out Ground



1. Fighter's name
Mary "Blue Mary" Ryan

2. Fighter's hometown
South Town, USA

3. Fighter's everyday weight/what he can cut down to
173 pounds (middleweight)

4. Choose your base from the following
-Sambo (Soviet hybrid martial arts)

5. Choose a secondary focus from the above list or choose 'cross-training' for all-around training.
Cross-training

6. Flaws/Perks

Take an equal number of flaws and perks. '0' is a number.
N/A

7. Strategy

Choose up to three of the following to specialize in, and up to three to avoid using
Specialize:
- Standard Grappling
- Avoid Strikes
- All Out Ground

Avoid:
- Barrage
- Counter Striking
- Hit and Run

EDIT:

We'll save some points for general upgrades later, but for now but 2 points into Dragunov's Kick Defense because Jesus loving Christ

Yaya fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Aug 20, 2023

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habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
I promise that I'll actually give Okie-Dokie some upgrades before his next title defense, but I want Gaht to be good, goddamnit.
13 points available (12+1)
5 into Standing Punch Power
4 into Standing Punch Speed
4 into Standing Punch Technique

CirclMastr
Jul 4, 2010

New Donk Yankers will take 1973 Catfish Hunter

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
Please improve Clevin Darks attributes as follows:

5 points of improvment

Start with resilience, any leftover should be spent on stun recovery, then regular recovery, and finally creative punches if there's anything left.

The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
Goog Trek TNG selects 2009 Johan Santana.

I think this means the Seagoats are up?

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 14: Dark vs. Moxley

: Well, Yoshida, sometimes, you just have cards where you need to get some guys some fights. This would be one of them.
: I believe in Jon Moxley.
: I really don't recommend that.

Lightweight Bout: Ricky Ricks [HK] (0-0) vs. JR Leap [UNDEF] (1-1)



Round 1

: The horn sounds and-








: Oh no! Ricky Ricks' legs! He loves having working legs, and now JR Leap is taking that away from him!



: Time will, mercifully, expire, and Ricky Ricks and what remains of his legs will drag himself to his corner.

Round 2

: And the round will begin as Ricky Ricks finds it hard to move. At all. And JR Leap will simply stand slightly outside of his punching range and taunt him. And Pander, in JR Leap's corner, is heaping on further mockery.
: Come on, Ricky Ricks! I believe in you!






: I believe JR Leap heard Yoshida right there, and responded by further destroying Ricks' legs. Time will expire, and Ricky Ricks is not going to his corner, because even moving that far would be too painful.

Round 3

: Okay, final round and-



: Good lord. Out of sense of mercy, let's just move on to the judges' decision.

Official Decision: JR Leap def. Ricky Ricks by Uni. Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)



: That is a sobering stat line.
: Ricky Ricks showed a lot of heart there. That's probably not great in the long term.


Heavyweight Bout: FS Drago [MSNT] (0-0) vs. Storg Kennedy [D-KEN] (1-3)



Round 1

: Let's just get on with it. Both men use some tepid striking to start, and it looks like Drago wants to test whether Storg has adequate takedown defense.



: Part of takedown defense is having good balance. Storg doesn't really have that.
: Drago easily moves into side control. He mounts Storg, looks for the americana! Storg blocks it! Drago trying to figure out what to do next and time expires.

Round 2

: Round 2, and more tepid striking to start things off.
: Storg needs to open up here because it's only a matter of time before-



: That.
: Drago tries an arm triangle from half-guard, which is not a submission that works on any opponent who is not Sage Northcutt, and Storg wishes he had Sage Northcutt's abs. Storg blocks it. Drago moves to side control again, he moves to mount, and he'll once again try for the americana. Storg will once again block it, and time will expire.

Round 3

: Round 3. It is impossible that Storg isn't down two rounds to none, and he needs a finish, and he will...



: Counter-jab.
: Storg isn't really a one-shot knockout artist.
: No kidding. Drago will stalk him around the ring. Neither man is able to do much damage to the other, mainly just trading jabs, and time expires.

Official Decision: FS Drago def. Storg by Uni. Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)



: A win is a win, but Drago's corner have to be at least a little concerned that their fighter, a heavyweight, landed 28 standing strikes and didn't produce a single knockdown. Still, Drago did win.


Heavyweight Bout: Ezekiel Jackson [RBRCC] (1-1) vs. Bobby Roode [CAN] (0-2)



Round 1

: If this is another grinding heavyweight slogfest, I swear-






: Nevermind. Thanks, Big Zeke!

Official Decision: Ezekiel Jackson def. Bobby Roode by TKO (1:18, Round 1)




Middleweight Bout: Axl Rose [ROCK] (0-1) vs. Herman McNally [RCH] (0-2)



Round 1

: TWO JOBBERS ENTER, ONE MUST WIN! Unless they draw, I guess.



: Big Zeke, please, come back and kill both of these men!



: Maybe Axl Rose should go back to music.
: NO!




: And McNally takes Rose to the cage and punishes him there for the remaining time in the round.

Round 2

: McNally tries to grapple with Rose, but Rose escapes! And that gives Rose an opportunity to-



: Axl Rose has many skills. Striking may not be one of them.
: Rose is probably the better striker than McNally on his feet, but unless Rose is really going to let loose, it's not clear that he can take much advantage of that. And nothing...else...happens, so time expires.

Round 3

: I think McNally has had enough of Axl Rose.







: Rose is simply trapped there, and McNally appears content to take the win on points. Smart, if boring. Very, very boring.

Official Decision: Herman McNally def. Axl Rose by Uni. Decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)



: To be clear, McNally's accuracy looks the way it does because most of those strikes were landed when he had Rose trapped against the cage.


Light Heavyweight Championshout Bout: Clevin Dark [SODAK] (3-0) vs. Jon Moxley [RBRCC] (1-1)



: It is now time for the main event of the evening! Five rounds to determine the undisputed Light Heavyweight Champion of the World! Introducing first, the challenger. From Cincinnati, Ohio, he weighed in at the Light Heavyweight Limit of 205 pounds, Jon Moxley! And his opponent, from SODAK, he is the reigning, defending, light heavyweight champion of the world, Clevin Dark!

Round 1

: The round starts and-



: That's flashy, but you wonder how effective those feints are going to be in the long-term.
: And Dark will control the initiative as the round continues, showing off his superior striking.





: If Mox can learn to time these feints, I think it could be big trouble for Dark.
: We'll see as time expires on Round 1.

Round 2

: In Round 2 now, and Dark continues to push the pace, firing off all sorts of kicks from the outside as Mox looks for an opening. Dark with another kick trying to bait Mox and-



: Down goes Dark! Mox pounces on him, looking for the finish!



: Dark can't defend himself! It's over! We have a new champion!

Official Decision: Jon Moxley def. Devin Clark by TKO (Strikes) (2:41, Round 2)
Your Winner and NEW Light Heavyweight Champion: Jon Moxley!



: The first strike Mox landed was the one that ended the fight.




Fighter Points
RBRCC: 10 points
Team Canada: 3 points
ROCK: 1 point
Rochester: 2 points
Undefeateds: 2 points
Cooking School: 1 point
Dead Kennedys: 1 point
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 2 points
SODAK: 3 points

Upgrade Post

Upcoming Cards

SLFC 15: Weedman vs. Danielson 2
Avery Weedman [MSNT] vs. Bryan Danielson [RBRCC]
Middleweight Championship Bout
Shiro Kazami [TAC] vs. Logan Stourleigh [SODAK]
Welterweight Bout
Marty McSorley [FITCH] vs. Jean-Claude Boeuf [FITCH]
Welterweight Bout
Fry Baker [HK] vs. Dankwart Rustow [NHC]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Jarred Kelenic vs. Slab [FITCH]
Heavyweight Bout

SLFC 16: Serra vs. Pander 2
Leonardo Serra [MSNT] vs. Pander Panderer [UNDEF]
For the Welterweight Championship
Chef Sal [HK] vs. Vladimir Koslov [RBRCC]
Heavyweight Bout
Sakura Kasugano [FGC] vs. Joji Yuki [TAC]
Lightweight Bout
Tyson Dux [CAN] vs. Jon Bon Jovi [ROCK]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Stan Wisniewski [D-KEN] vs. Basher Nanaimo [FITCH]
Middleweight Bout
Terry O'Rae [FITCH] vs. Hungry Joe [HK]
Welterweight Bout

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Please upgrade my team's General Mental Training, because being jobbed out like that can't be good for your psyche.

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
1996 Norm Charlton.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Let's spend some of those 19 points!

Team Upgrade:
Muay Thai

Fighter Upgrade:
Let's bump everyone's Takedowns, and give the other 4 points to FS Drago as two points toward Punch Power, one point towards Punch Technique and one point on Head Movement please

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Storg was on his feet at the end of the fight and is unclear why this doesn't mean he won.

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


RICKY !!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!

VERY POOR?!?!?!

THIS ISn"T WHAT WE COOKED UP IN COOKING SCHOOL :( :( :(

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Alright, I think that's 13 points for R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.

Fight Team Upgrade
Let's improve Wrestling for 10 points.

That'll leave us with 3 for later.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 15: Weedman vs. Danielson 2

: It's time for another night of fights!
: For the first time ever, we will see a rematch as Bryan Danielson takes on Avery Weedman in his second shot at the title! Let's hope it's not sad!

Heavyweight Bout: Jarred Kelenic (1-1) vs. Slab [FITCH] (1-1)



Round 1

: A lot of people were surprised that Kelenic actually won something, but let's see if he can do it again.
: I think he might just surprise you.




: See? He didn't immediately die!




: Okay, well, that's not great, but I think that Kelenic has a lot of fight left in him!



Official Decision: Slab def. Jarred Kelenic by Submission (armbar) (4:53, Round 1)



: He lasted almost an entire round! That's pretty good!
: It is?


Light Heavyweight Bout: Fry Baker [HK] (0-0) vs. Dankrwart Rustow [NHC] (0-0)



Round 1

: It's something of a mystery box fight, as both fighters are making their debut, but I'm sure that-



: I guess it's going to be one of those fights.



: Working the leg is a good strategy if Baker can keep it up.
: We'll have to watch and see, as time expires on the first round.

Round 2

: I'm hoping to see something a bit more-



: What? Is this guy a character from Punch-Out or something?
: If he is, and if Baker has timed it, then-



: But Baker will need to do that twice more in the round. That's the rules of Punch-Out.
: The fighters clinch, and accomplish nothing. They break and-




: A couple of crushing attacks from Rustow, but Baker doesn't go down, and time will expire.

Round 3

: Baker is looking tired, and he spent the last half of last round getting smashed in the face. I hope he has a better plan for the last round.



: It looks like Baker is trying to destroy Rustow's future, in that he is trying to destroy Baker's ability to have children! A cunning plan!
: And Rustow's response?



: That's it! Fight over! Everyone should go home and feel bad!

Official Decision: Dankwart Rustow def. Fry Baker by Uni. Decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)




Welterweight Bout: Marty McSorley [FITCH] (0-2) vs. Jean-Claude Boeuf [FITCH] (1-2)



Round 1

: Boeuf grapples with McSorley and...



: SUUUUUUUPERSLAM! And now Boeuf will try to press his advantage by passing from half-guard...which he's still trying...over and over again...for four minutes.



: And since it took him so long to get into side control, Boeuf runs out of time to do anything before time expires. Wonderful.

Round 2

: Okay, Boeuf, let's try this again!



: Hey, that is better!
: Beef-boy, you have a dude in side control and four and a half minutes to work with. If you don't end the fight this round, I will cut you from the SLFC. I'll do it. I swear to god, I will.






: See, there you go!

Official Decision: Jean-Claude Boeuf def. Marty McSorley by TKO (Strikes) (2:03, Round 2)




Welterweight Bout: Shiro Kazami [TAC] (1-1) vs. Logan Stourleigh [SODAK] (2-1)



: Well, here we go.
: This fight doesn't have many ways it can go. If Kazami keeps Stourleigh standing, he can knock him out, but Stourleigh is a great wrestler. If Kazami goes down, he will not get back up.

Round 1

: Kazami is summoning all of his power! RIDER KICK!



: Stourleigh countered the Rider Kick? OH NO!





Official Decision: Logan Stourleigh def. Shiro Kazami by TKO (Strikes) (3:09, Round 1)



: The strength of the Riders is not their ability to win, but their ability to pick themselves off from the ground.
: In a metaphorical sense, yes. In a literal sense, their inability to actually get up from the ground has typically been their doom.



Middleweight Championship Bout: Avery Weedman [MSNT] (3-0) vs. Bryan Danielson [RBRCC] (2-1)



: The following contest, scheduled for five rounds, is for the Middleweight Championship of the World! Introducing first, the challenger, fighting out of Aberdeen, Washington, famous for being the hometown of Krist Novoselic, he weighed in at the 185 pound limit, he is a former title challenger, Bryan Danielson! And in the other corner, the reigning, defending middleweight champion making his third defense, Avery Weedman!

Round 1

: Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles is a fight camp that usually has a decent strategy, and it looks like Weedman will start the fight by-






: That is a lot of leg kicks to take, especially in a fight that could go five rounds.
: And Weedman shoots for the takedown-



: Gets it! But he's not going to press the action, and will let time expire.

Round 2

: Danielson needs to do something here. He's already taken a lot of damage in the first round, and, more generally, he needs to win this fight. He already has lost one title shot to Weedman, if he loses tonight, then he's not getting another title shot until there's a new champ.



: If Danielson wants to be able to use his legs going forward, he needs to do something about that.



: Better. And it looks like both fighters are going to hang back and wait for the other to make a mistake.



: Danielson is slowly turning the fight to his advantage, but he needs to be careful here.




: That was not careful.

Official Decision: Avery Weedman def. Bryan Danielson by TKO (Strikes) (3:10, Round 2)
Your winner and STILL Middleweight Champion of the World: Avery Weedman!







Fighter Points
Jon Fitch's Fight Team #1: 9 points
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 8 points
SODAK: 2 points
Tachibana Racing: 1 point
No Homer's Club: 2 points
Cooking School: 1 point

Upgrade Post


Upcoming Cards

SLFC 16: Serra vs. Pander 2
Leonardo Serra [MSNT] vs. Pander Panderer [UNDEF]
For the Welterweight Championship
Chef Sal [HK] vs. Vladimir Koslov [RBRCC]
Heavyweight Bout
Sakura Kasugano [FGC] vs. Joji Yuki [TAC]
Lightweight Bout
Tyson Dux [CAN] vs. Jon Bon Jovi [ROCK]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Stan Wisniewski [D-KEN] vs. Basher Nanaimo [FITCH]
Middleweight Bout
Terry O'Rae [FITCH] vs. Hungry Joe [HK]
Welterweight Bout

SLFC 17: Sagat vs. Bolton
Sagat [FGC] vs. Michael Bolton [ROCK]
For the Heavyweight Championship
Vince Neil [ROCK] vs. e.e. Cummings [NHC]
Light Heavyweight Title Eliminator
Hyperion Royale [MSNT] vs. Keisuke Jin [TAC]
Lightweight Bout
George Steiner [RCH] vs. Hongo Takeski [TAC]
Welterweight Bout
Petey Williams [CAN] vs. Blue Mary [FGC]
Middleweight Bout
Johnny Devine [CAN] vs. Mike Haggar
Heavyweight Bout

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



I'll put 3 points each into Pander's strength, mobility, and conditioning.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Group 3 can draft now. Monaghan, get us started.

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

Gladly. Gimme 2010 Ian Kinsler.

I'll put up a roster post by the end of this week.

e: Here's the draft sheet, for those of you not paying attention to Discord: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_CyulntF3AYYRqDzxa2rWjgjl1hsfF-foP_aR6s9LHg/edit#gid=857721422

The following teams can all pick at any point:
- Pennsylvania Lottery
- Christmas Island Seagoats
- Slug Undeath
- South Dakota Marmosets
- Your Dad's Beer League Team
- Farngorn Ents

Monathin fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Aug 24, 2023

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
I have 3 points leftover, so let's give our newbies a bit of a boost.

2 points to Sakura Kasugano in kick defense, and 1 point to Blue Mary in leglock submissions.

Yaya fucked around with this message at 05:41 on Aug 24, 2023

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

I'm taking the Edgar Martinez.

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
Ents took that 1934 Goose Goslin. Surely he'll hit better than Bob Johnson versus RHP...surely...

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
I'll take 1979 Rod Carew!. Roster to follow this weekend then.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮


Drafting 1993 Alan Trammell, because I'm pretty sure I can.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 16: Serra vs. Panderer 2

: It's Friday. Please, make these fights short.
: But Smasher, what about-
: I demand short fights!


Welterweight Bout: Terry O'Rae [FITCH] (1-1) vs. Hungry Joe [HK] (0-1)



Round 1

: O'Rae looks a bit concerned about Joe's strength and he will go for a takedown, but Hungry Joe is ready!






: Ready to fail. And O'Rae looks to be in control here. I'd love to see how Hungry Joe is going to get himself out of-





: Oh. So he'll just effortlessly escape and beat Terry O'Rae to death.
: I guess what Hungry Joe was really hungry for was victory.
: I'm going to let that go because the fight was short.

Official Decision: Hungry Joe def. Terry O'Rae by TKO (Strikes) (3:03, Round 1)




Middleweight Bout: Stan Wisniewski [D-KEN] (0-1) vs. Basher Nanaimo [FITCH] (2-1)



Round 1

: Stan appears to be utterly terrified of Nanaimo, who shoots in and-



: Cannot catch the fleeing Stan.
: Well, Stan's specialty is accounting, so it makes sense that he'd want to avoid fighting.
: Nanaimo appears to be enraged by Stan's cowardice, and grabs him against the cage and-



: Slams him down. But time will expire.

Round 2

: Nanaimo looks to have had enough of Stan.





: Thus concludes the fight, and also the part of Stan's life when he was able to remember his childhood.

Official Decision: Basher Nanaimo def. Stan Wisniewski by TKO (Strikes) (1:44, Round 2)




Light Heavyweight Bout: Tyson Dux [CAN] (0-0) vs. Jon Bon Jovi [ROCK] (1-0)



Round 1

: You know, Smasher, a lot of people have been telling that Tyson Dux is tough, that he's not going to quack under pressure.
: That's great, Yoshida, and...quack?
: Because, you know, 'dux'.
: Yoshida, we're not doing puns. It's not happening.
: But it's fun!
: It is not fun! Now let's get back to the fight, and, wait, what happened?



Official Decision: Jon Bon Jovi def. Tyson Dux by Submission (armbar) (2:00, Round 1)




Lightweight Bout: Sakura Kasugano [FGC] (0-0) vs. Joji Yuki [TAC] (0-0, 1 NC)



Round 1

: Sakura is the bestest! She's going to beat up Joji Yuki, and then we're going to be best friends!
: I think Yuki is going to-



: He's trying for a takedown? Despite the fact that Gaea's Curse means that any Rider who falls to the ground is fated to never rise again?
: He's afraid. He knows that Sakura cannot be stopped.



: She is winning the striking battle.
: She's also building meter.
: Building meter for what? Time expires.

Round 2

: I still don't know what 'building meter' means.
: Smasher, it's happening!





: I don't think super combos should necessarily be allowed in MMA.

Official Decision: Sakura Kasugano def. Joji Yuki by TKO (Strikes) (0:46, Round 2)




Heavyweight Bout: Chef Sal [HK] (1-0) vs. Vladimir Koslov [RBRCC] (3-0)



Round 1

: Koslov is going to start the fight out by piecing Sal up with some jabs. Sal stands in the pocket, seemingly unbothered but-



: A crushing blow! But Koslov refuses to drop down to finish Sal off, he simply waves for Sal to get back to his feet, and then proceeds to further pummel Sal with jabs.
: That's an interesting choice.

Round 2

: Koslov spends five minutes jabbing Sal to death. Nothing else happened.

Round 3

: Sal is down two rounds, and needs a new plan!



: If Koslov is afraid to work on the ground, Sal is going to press the issue. Sal moves to side control! He gets mount! He looks for the armbar-



: Koslov reverses! And he'll try an americana on Sal! Sal looks to reverse!



: He gets it! With five seconds left, Sal tries for an arm triangle! He needs the finish! He needs to submit Koslov in five seconds or he will lose this fight!



: So close.

Official Decision: Vladimir Koslov def. Chef Sal by Uni. Decision (29-27, 29-28, 29-28)




Welterweight Title Bout: Leonardo Serra [MSNT] (3-1) vs. Pander Panderer [UNDEF] (3-1)



: It is now time for the main event of the evening. Five rounds to determine the undisputed welterweight championship of the world! Introducing first, the challenger, he is the former Welterweight Champion of the World, Pander Panderer! And his opponent, he is the reigning, defending Welterweight Champion of the World, from the Jersey Shore, Leonardo Serra!

Round 1

: Pander comes out firing.



: Pander needs to win this fight standing, and win this fight quickly. If Serra can take him down, it's over.
: Serra with the takedown attempt, but Pander sidesteps. Pander now coming into the pocket, looking to do some damage and-



: And now it's a foregone conclusion. Serra is too deadly on the ground, and Pander just doesn't have the skills on the mat.




Official Decision: Leonardo Serra def. Pander Panderer by Submission (americana) (3:49, Round 1)



: And you wonder what is next for Pander. He's lost two fights against Serra, and he's not apt to get another as long as Serra is champion. Will he bide his time? Will he change weight classes? Only Pander knows.




Fighter Points
ROCK: 9 points
Cooking School: 6 points
RBRCC: 2 points
Team Canada: 1 point
Jon Fitch's Fight Team #1: 3 points
Tachibana Racing: 1 point
FGC: 2 points
Undefeateds: 3 points
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 5 points
Dead Kennedys: 1 point

Upgrade Post


Upcoming Cards

SLFC 17: Sagat vs. Bolton
Sagat [FGC] vs. Michael Bolton [ROCK]
For the Heavyweight Championship
Vince Neil [ROCK] vs. e.e. Cummings [NHC]
Light Heavyweight Title Eliminator
Hyperion Royale [MSNT] vs. Keisuke Jin [TAC]
Lightweight Bout
George Steiner [RCH] vs. Hongo Takeski [TAC]
Welterweight Bout
Petey Williams [CAN] vs. Blue Mary [FGC]
Middleweight Bout
Johnny Devine [CAN] vs. Mike Haggar
Heavyweight Bout

SLFC 18: Moxley vs. Dark 2
Jon Moxley [RBRCC] vs. Clevin Dark [SODAK]
For the Light Heavyweight Championship
Rei Himaru [SHIKI] vs. JR Leap [UNDEF]
Lightweight Title Eliminator
FS Drago [MSNT] vs. Juan Villa [RCH]
Heavyweight Bout
Axl Rose [ROCK] vs. Daisuke Yamamoto [TAC]
Middleweight Bout
Hayato Ichimonji [TAC] vs. Homer Stille Cummings [NHC]
Welterweight Bout
Gat [D-KEN] vs. Bobby Roode [CAN]
Heavyweight Bout

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Sagat! You must win! The fate of the universe is at stake!

Both points into Sagat's Ground Escape

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Okay, R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A. has 12 points after Bon Jovi's big win..

Michael Bolton
2 points into Kick Defense
1 point into Recovery
1 point into Chin Strength

Jon Bon Jovi
2 points into Takedown Speed
1 point into Reflexes
1 point into Killer Instinct

Leaves us with 4 for later.

Feel free to yell at me if I did it wrong. Feel free to yell at me if I did it right!

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 17: Sagat vs. Bolton

: Let's get this over with!
: Okay!

Heavyweight Bout: Johnny Devine [CAN] (1-1) vs. Mike Haggar (1-2)



Round 1

: Tepid striking to start off with and Devine shoots for the takedown-



: And botches it.
: It happens. It happens a lot, actually.
: Devine will turtle up, and Haggar seems unable to cope.



: The power of the turtle. Devine gets back up, and both men will clinch, Devine grabs underhooks and-



: SUUUUPERSLAM! Devine passes to side control! He passes to mount! He has thirty seconds to work with here and...he will do nothing. He will do absolutely nothing from the mount and time will expire. Awesome.

Round 2

: Round Two, and both men will stagger around, accomplishing nothing, and landing no meaningful strikes. Heavyweight MMA is a land of disappointment, folks.
: Both men respect each other's power. But respect isn't very exciting to watch.
: Devine will try another takedown, but-



: Haggar takes Devine to the cage and-



: More nothing. Does anyone want to actually win this fight? Time expires.

Round 3

: It's the final round, and I'm hoping that-



: Ah.
: I guess Haggar was right to be a little afraid of Devine's power.

Official Decision: Johnny Devine def. Mike Haggar by KO (Punch) (0:25, Round 3)



: Johnny Devine only landed one strike in that entire fight, but at least he made it a good one.


Middleweight Bout: Petey Williams [CAN] (1-1) vs. Blue Mary [FGC] (0-0)



Round 1

: If Williams wins this fight, he's probably getting a title shot. Because someone needs to. And he'll start off with some slick striking



: And he'll use that momentum to try for the takedown and-



: Gets it.
: Blue Mary has a good guard.





: A very good guard.
: And time will expire with Williams able to do no more than to hold Mary down.

Round 2

: And in Round Two-






: No one accomplishes anything. It's either a triumph of counter-grappling, or a tribute to terrible wrestling.
: Both corners have to be happy with the defensive grappling each fighter has brought to bear, but they probably are concerned that, through two rounds, neither has managed to really break through to do any meaningful damage.

Round 3

: Williams seems about out of power, but Mary will try to get him down.




: 'Try' being the operative word there. I think Blue Mary needs a new plan.




: Oh, hey, I think she heard you!
: Feels like she could have down that in Round One.

Official Decision: Blue Mary def. Petey Williams by TKO (Strikes) (4:31, Round 3)




Welterweight Bout: George Steiner [RCH] (2-1) vs. Hongo Takeshi [TAC] (0-3)



Round 1

: Steiner is a grappler, so Takeshi simple has to move fast, because the moment that Steiner takes Takeshi down-





: Smasher, why does the ground hate the Riders so much?
: Yoshida, as you know, or at least should know, in Greek Mythology, there was a figure known as Antaeus, who was invincible so long as he remained in contact with the earth. The Riders are the exact opposite of that, which is a problem, given that gravity is a thing that exists.

Official Decision: George Steiner def. Hongo Takeshi by Submission (kimura) (1:51, Round 1)




Lightweight Bout: Hyperion Royale [MSNT] (1-1) vs. Keisuke Jin [TAC] (0-1)



Round 1

: Finally, a Rider faces someone who probably doesn't want to take them down!




: See! The Riders can win! They just need an opponent who refuses to try any sort of wrestling!

Round 2

: Round Two! It's all coming up Jin!



: So, is Royale just going to spend the entire fight running away?




: It does appear that Royale's plan does appear to run away and then occasionally get hit when Jin is able to get close enough. Time expires on Round Two.

Round 3

: Smasher, is Royale trying to throw this fight?
: Maybe, I don't know. It's nice to see one of the Riders do well so that I don't get yelled at, especially given that one of them got killed last fight. Wait, look, more good stuff!





: Time expires, Keisuke Jin wins, and everyone's happy for once, and it's great, and I will not be taking any questions regarding the unusual circumstances of this fight at this time or at any future time.

Official Decision: Keisuke Jin def. Hyperion Royale by Uni. Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)



: Smasher, these statistics don't look right at all!
: I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS!


Light Heavyweight Bout: Vince Neil [ROCK] (1-0) vs. e.e. Cummings [NHC] (2-0)



Round 1

: Now, Yoshida, settle in, because-






: That doesn't seem legal!
: It's legal under Pride rules! It's fine! e.e. Cummings is moving a little! He's fine! It's fine!
: So much blood.

Official Decision: Vince Neil def. e.e. Cummings by TKO (Strikes) (2:00, Round 1)




Heavyweight Championship Bout: Sagat [FGC] (4-0) vs. Michael Bolton [ROCK] (1-0)



: It is now time for the main event of the evening! Five rounds to determine the Heavyweight Champion of the World! Introducing first, the challenger. Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut, he is the lord and master of soft rock, now and forever, Michael Bolton! And his opponent, from Shadaloo, Thailand, he is the reigning, defending, undefeating Heavyweight Champion of the World, Sagat!

Round 1

: Bolton immediately rushes into a grapple.



: That's incredibly risky! The clinch is where Sagat kills people!




: Oh, no.
: This has been the end of most of Sagat's fights.



: A crushing blow. And Sagat sets up for the knockout knee-



: BOLTON ESCAPES! But he will continue to grapple! He's sure he can outwrestle Sagat!



: Bolton, no!



: There is only hate in Sagat's eyes. Bolton's life is now forfeit.



Official Decision: Sagat def. Michael Bolton by KO (Knee) (2:10, Round 1)
Your winner and STILL Heavyweight Champion of the World: Sagat!






Fighter Points
Team Canada: 3 points
FGC: 13 points
Tachibana Racing: 3 points
ROCK: 8 points
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 1 point
Rochester: 5 points
No Homer's Club: 1 point

Upgrade Post

MAKE ME MORE FIGHTERS! BRING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE SLFC! I DEMAND VALIDATION!


Upcoming Cards

SLFC 18: Moxley vs. Dark 2
Jon Moxley [RBRCC] vs. Clevin Dark [SODAK]
For the Light Heavyweight Championship
Rei Himaru [SHIKI] vs. JR Leap [UNDEF]
Lightweight Title Eliminator
FS Drago [MSNT] vs. Juan Villa [RCH]
Heavyweight Bout
Axl Rose [ROCK] vs. Daisuke Yamamoto [TAC]
Middleweight Bout
Hayato Ichimonji [TAC] vs. Homer Stille Cummings [NHC]
Welterweight Bout
Gat [D-KEN] vs. Bobby Roode [CAN]
Heavyweight Bout


SLFC 19: Weedman vs. Kim
Avery Weedman [MSNT] vs. Kaphwan Kim [FGC]
For the Middleweight Championship
Brouck Lessner [SODAK] vs. Drakkhen Kennedy [D-KEN]
Heavyweight Bout
Ezekiel Jackson [RBRCC] vs. Slab [FITCH]
Heavyweight Bout
Magnus Barefoot [NHC] vs. Ricky Ricks [HK]
Lightweight Bout
Vladislav Henderson [FITCH] vs. Shigeru Jo [TAC]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Marty McSorley [FITCH] vs. Bret Michaels [ROCK]
Welterweight Bout

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Everybody from FGC is doing great! (except for our failson Sergei Dragunov, we do not talk about him)

I'll use 10 points for a team upgrade to General Physical Training, and then try to get Kaphwan Kim prepared for Weedman by putting a 2 points into his hand speed, and 1 point into Game Plan

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Beating Sagat was gonna be a tall order! I was just hoping Bolton woulda kept it defensive and tried to croon Sagat into submission.

Anyway, Neil's performance got us a bunch of points, and that should be 12.

Let's do this for Vince Neil
1 point into conditioning
1 point into mobility
1 point into creative kicks

That'll bring us down to 9, and I'll do a team training session after Axl Rose's next fight.

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI




draft 1975 gaylord perry because i'm pretty sure i can now

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 18: Moxley vs. Dark 2

: Welcome back to SLFC, the most violent place on earth! Except for the AEW locker room!
: CM Punk just wants to be respected! Or else!

Heavyweight Bout: Gat [D-KEN] (1-2) vs. Bobby Roode [CAN] (0-3)



Round 1

: Here's hoping to a good fight!



: Fine. Here's hoping for a fast fight!



: HIT SOMETHING, drat IT!
: Wait, how does a centaur hit a spinning back fist? Her turning radius would be way too large!
: Don't worry about it. Time expires.

Round 2

: Round Two and-
: A horse can't turn around with that little space! And Gat has horse legs! She can't just turn around on her axis like that!



: Big strike from Roode, but Gat is able to recover, and Roode doesn't want to risk fighting on the ground...even though he is a grappler.
: And even if she did have enough room to move around, she couldn't get the leverage to hit a back fist like that, her weight would be in the wrong place!
: Yoshida, you need to move on. And t ime expires.

Round 3

: And Gat wants to take the fight to the cage, and she'll drive Roode against the cage, but he reverses!



: Wait! That also makes no sense! Gat has a big horse torso! You can't just turn her around against the cage like that! I don't understand! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! SMASHER, I'M GOING CRAZY!
: Well, Yoshida-



: There. It's done. Let's move on.

Official Decision: Gat def. Bobby Roode by KO (Punch) (3:21, Round 3)




Welterweight Bout: Hayato Ichimonji [TAC] (1-1) vs. Homer Stille Cummings [NHC] (2-1)



Round 1

: It's time for the eternal struggle between the Riders and gravity.



: Gravity wins.
: It has perfect record.



: Ichimonji will survive the round, which is a moral victory at least.

Round 2

: Surely, this round will-



: Let's just move on.

Round 3

: Round Three, and Ichimonji must avoid getting taken down!



: I don't think he listened to you.
: Clearly not. Cummings is going for the finish, but Ichimonji is in full-on defense! Cummings gets the back! Gets the hooks in! Tries for the choke! But-



: Time expires.

Official Decision: Homer Stille Cummings def. Hayato Ichimonji by Uni. Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)




Middleweight Bout: Axl Rose [ROCK] (0-2) vs. Daisuke Yamamoto [TAC] (0-1)



Round 1

: Yamamoto plows forward and-




: Eats a painful counter.



: And more painful counters.



: And even more counters.
: It's the rope-a-dope strategy!
: No, it really isn't! Time expires.

Round 2

: And Yamamoto-



: Hits a big shot! But can't capitalize!



: And eats even more counters.
: Does Axl Rose have no power in his hands at all? Because he's hit Yamamoto in the head about ten million times so far, and Yamamoto doesn't seem hurt at all.
: Hey, the man wrote "November Rain". Of course he has no power. Time expires.

Round 3

: Yamamoto continues to plod forward and-



: Another good hit!




: And Rose responds by obliterating Yamamoto's nose.
: But he needs that to smell victory!



: Another barrage, but he can't put Rose away, and Rose has been landing more. Time will expire, with both men looking to be pretty horribly beaten.

Official Decision: Axl Rose def. Daisuke Yamamoto by Uni. Decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)



: Yamamoto hit the harder shots, but Rose just landed so many more strikes, and that was the difference.


Heavyweight Bout: FS Drago [MSNT] (1-0) vs. Juan Villa [RCH] (2-1)



Round 1

: Villa is looking for another title shot here. He is the only man to have won even a single round against Sagat to date, and he wants another chance. Drago, for his part, wants to start this fight by clinching and-



: Is about to learn a lesson from the greatest villain of them all. Villa wants to take Drago down and-



: Drago not fighting the takedown seems like the kind of thing he's going to live to regret.







: Well, Yoshida, you're wrong. Drago didn't live to see anything.

Official Decision: Juan Villa def. FS Drago by TKO (Strikes) (4:42, Round 1)




Lightweight Title Eliminator: Rei Himaru [SHIKI] (2-1) vs. JR Leap [UNDEF] (2-1)



Round 1

: Someone needs to face Okie Dokie, and the winner here is probably the one to do it!



: JR Leap starts by attacking the legs.
: Himaru can't afford to eat too many of those.





: She can probably afford that even less.

Official Decision: JR Leap def. Rei Himaru by TKO (Strikes) (3:02, Round 1)




Light Heavyweight Title Bout: Jon Moxley [RBRCC] (2-1) vs. Clevin Dark [SODAK] (3-1)



: It is now time for...eh, you get the idea.

Round 1

: Guys, Clevin Dark has a plan!






: All kicks! ALL OF THE KICKS!
: And some of them are even landing!
: That's right! ALL KICKS!

Round 2

: What's that? Round Two? Sounds like time for more kicks!





: What are you going to do Mox? There's nothing you can do to the Prime Minister of Kicks! NOTHING AT ALL!



: Except that. He can do that.
: That was very decisive.

Official Decision: Jon Moxley def. Clevin Dark by KO (Punch) (3:54, Round 2)
Your winner and STILL Light Heavyweight Champion of the World: Jon Moxley






Fighter Points
ROCK: 2 points
No Homer's Club: 2 points
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 1 point
Rochester: 2 points
Dead Kennedys: 2 points
Tachibana Racing: 2 points
Undefeateds: 5 points
Shikimori: 4 points
RBRCC: 8 points
SODAK: 3 points
Team Canada: 1 point

Upgrade Post

MAKE ME MORE FIGHTERS! BRING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE SLFC! I DEMAND VALIDATION!


Upcoming Cards

SLFC 19: Weedman vs. Kim
Avery Weedman [MSNT] vs. Kaphwan Kim [FGC]
For the Middleweight Championship
Brouck Lessner [SODAK] vs. Drakkhen Kennedy [D-KEN]
Heavyweight Bout
Ezekiel Jackson [RBRCC] vs. Slab [FITCH]
Heavyweight Bout
Magnus Barefoot [NHC] vs. Ricky Ricks [HK]
Lightweight Bout
Vladislav Henderson [FITCH] vs. Shigeru Jo [TAC]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Marty McSorley [FITCH] vs. Bret Michaels [ROCK]
Welterweight Bout


SLFC 20: Serra vs. Stourleigh 2
Leonardo Serra [MSNT] vs. Logan Stourleigh [SODAK]
Welterwight Championship Bout
Pander Panderer [UNDEF] vs. Stan Wisniewski [D-KEN]
Middleweight Bout
Fry Baker [HK] vs. e.e. Cummings [NHC]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Shiro Kazami [TAC] vs. Terry O'Rae [FITCH]
Welterweight Bout
Jarred Kelenic vs. William Regal [RBRCC]
Heavyweight Bout
Storg Kennedy [D-KEN] vs. Eric Young [CAN]
Heavyweight Bout

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
This should be 11 points for R.O.C.K. in the USA

Let's use 10 of them on making them a bit smarter. We'll do General Mental Training to bring us down to 1 point.

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
Since I did my draft pick, I suppose I can post this!


Team Name:
South Dakota Marmosets

Feeders:
2001 Texas Rangers
2002 Atlanta Braves
2009 Kansas City Royals
1976 Baltimore Orioles
2013 Seattle Mariners

Stadium: The Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome.

26-man Roster
Pos Name Year
C Ivan Rodriguez 2001
1B Rafael Palmeiro 2001
2B Bobby Grich 1976
SS Alex Rodriguez 2001
3B Kyle Seager 2013
LF Chipper Jones 2002
CF Andruw Jones 2002
RF Reggie Jackson 1976
DH/Bench Gary Sheffield 2002
Backup C Carlton Fisk 1970 (normally 1969, using +1 year boost)
Bench OF Ken Singleton 1976
Bench OF Coco Crisp 2009
Bench IF Michael Young 2001
Bench IF Brooks Robinson 1976

SP1 Greg Maddux 2002
SP2 Tom Glavine 2002
SP3 Zack Greinke 2009
SP4 Jim Palmer 1976
SP5 Bob Feller 1948

CL Joakim Soria 2009
SU John Smoltz 2002
SR Jeff Zimmerman 2001
SR Carlos Marmol 2008
MR Chris Hammond 2002
MR Rafael Soriano 2010
LRP Hisashi Iwakuma 2013

Minors:
RP Justin Duchscherer 2001
RP Kerry Ligtenberg 2002
3B Doug DeCinces 1976
1B/DH Billy Butler 2009
C Javy Lopez 2002
3B Brendan Ryan 2013
SP Kenny Rogers 2001
RP Tippy Martinez 1976
SP Felix Hernandez 2013
SR Francisco Cordero 2001
SP Stan Coveleski 1925
SS Pee Wee Reese 1948
2B/1B Rod Carew 1979

Lineup:
1. Alex Rodriguez (SS)
2. Reggie Jackson (RF)
3. Rafael Palmiero (1B)
4. Gary Sheffield (DH)
5. Chipper Jones (LF)
6. Ivan Rodriguez (C)
7. Bobby Grich (2B)
8. Kyle Seager (3B)
9. Andruw Jones (CF)

Sliders:
All at 0 except for the following:
Sacrifice Bunt: -5
Squeeze Play: -5
Giving Intentional Walks: -2
Bringing in Pinch Runners: -5
Letting pitchers pitch throw through trouble: 3
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: 3

BBRef Codes
rodriiv01,2001
palmera01,2001
grichbo01,1976
rodrial01,2001
seageky01,2013
jonesch06,2002
jonesan01,2002
jacksre01,1976
sheffga01,2002
fiskca01,1970
singlke01,1976
crispco01,2009
youngmi02,2001
robinbr01,1976
maddugr01,2002
glavito02,2002
greinza01,2009
palmeji01,1976
fellebo01,1948
soriajo01,2009
smoltjo01,2002
zimmeje02,2001
marmoca01,2008
hammoch01,2002
soriara01,2010
iwakuhi01,2013
duchsju01,2001
ligteke01,2002
decindo01,1976
butlebi03,2009
ryanbr01,2013
rogerke01,2001
martiti01,1976
hernafe02,2013
cordefr01,2001
lopezja01,2002
covelst01,1925
reesepe01,1948
carewro01,1979

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Wait, I won something? That doesn't seem right!

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 19: Weedman vs. Kim

: Well, Yoshida, the time has come to celebrate 20 SLFC events...which is what I will say next time. We're only up to 19 events.
: It might be a great night of fights! There's no rule against it!

Welterweight Bout: Marty McSorley [FITCH] (0-3) vs. Bret Michaels [ROCK] (0-1)

SLFC 19: Weedman vs. Kim

: Well, Yoshida, the time has come to celebrate 20 SLFC events...which is what I will say next time. We're only up to 19 events.
: It might be a great night of fights! There's no rule against it!

Welterweight Bout: Marty McSorley [FITCH] (0-3) vs. Bret Michaels [ROCK] (0-1)



Round 1

: I think something good is bound to-



: WHY?!
: They're building up to something!



: Eventually!




: See! McSorley can understand beating up a guy against the cage, because it's just like beating someone up against the boards in hockey, and that was the only thing he was good at!
: To be fair, he also played a huge role in helping the Habs win the 1993 Stanley Cup Finals.

Official Decision: Marty McSorley def. Bret Michaels by TKO (Strikes) (3:05, Round 1)



: And in some late-breaking news, Bret Michaels failed his drug test. According to the results, he tested positive for "all". In any event, since he lost the fight, neither fighter's record will change, but Michaels will be suspended.


Light Heavyweight Bout: Vladislav Henderson [FITCH] (1-1) vs. Shigeru Jo [TAC] (0-2)



Round 1

: Okay, all Jo has to do is avoid being taken down!



: Not good! But a Rider doesn't die so easily!



: RIDER HUG!





: The Rider Hug has failed.

Official Decision: Vladislav Henderson def. Shigeru Jo by TKO (Strikes) (4:31, Round 1)




Lightweight Bout: Magnus Barefoot [NHC] (0-2) vs. Ricky Ricks [HK] (0-1)



Round 1

: Magnus, I am begging you-



: To not do that.
: Magnus is just afraid of Ricky Ricks! Ricks comes from the bad streets! He went to the school of hard knocks, and graduated with a B.A. in grit! He then got a master's in toughness! He's currently a doctoral student doing key research in scrappiness!
: What school is giving out PhDs in scrappiness?
: Let me check my notes...Princeton!
: God help me. Time expires while Magnus dances his way out of trouble.

Round 2

: I'd love to know what Magnus is so loving afraid of that he won't commit to strikes!





: Huh. God drat it.

Official Decision: Ricky Ricks def. Magnus Barefoot by TKO (Strikes) (2:08, Round 2)




Heavyweight Bout: Ezekiel Jackson [RBRCC] (2-1) vs. Slab [FITCH] (2-1)



Round 1

: It's Slab's technical striking against Jackson's knockout power! Let's see how it goes!




: Imperfectly.



: Slab is having a bit of trouble finishing the job.
: In any event, time will expire, and Slab has clearly won the first round.

Round 2

: Round Two!




: More of the same.
: If this fight goes to a decision, Slab's going to win, but Jackson can change that with one punch.
: If he does, it will be in Round Three.

Round 3

: And Slab is cruising to a victory. Less than one minute left in the fight. Slab won the first two rounds. To win this fight, he just needs to not get knocked out in the next sixty seconds!



: Ah, well, nevertheless!

Official Decision: Ezekiel Jackson def. Slab by KO (4:20, Round 3)




Heavyweight Bout: Brouck Lessner [SODAK] (1-2) vs. Drakkhen Kennedy [D-KEN] (2-2)



Round 1

: Yoshida, sometimes I feel like my life is going around in circles, and I'm just frittering away the time I have on this earth.



: Wow, Drakkhen had control of Lessner for most of the round, but still couldn't do any real damage.

Round 2

: Yoshida, sometimes I feel like my life is going around in circles, and I'm just frittering away the time I have on this earth.



: Wow, Drakkhen had control of Lessner for most of the round, but still couldn't do any real damage.

Round 3

: Yoshida, sometimes I feel like my life is going around in circles, and I'm just frittering away the time I have on this earth.



: Wow, Drakkhen had control of Lessner for most of the round, but still couldn't do any real damage.

Official Decision: Drakkhen Kennedy def. Brouck Lessner by Uni. Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)




Middleweight Championship Bout: Avery Weedman [MSNT] (4-0) vs. Kaphwan Kim [FGC] (1-1)



: It is now time for the main event of this evening! Five rounds to determine the Middleweight Champion of the World! Introducing first, the challenger, from Seoul, South Korea, Kaphwan Kim! And his opponent, he is the reigning, defending, undefeated Middleweight Champion of the World, Avery Weedman!

Round 1

: And we're off! Weedman stalks forward, looking to grapple with Kim, who fights him back with quick jabs to maintain distance.



: If Kim can keep that up long enough for Weedman to get tired, he might have a chance.
: He will manage to survive the first round, as time expires.

Round 2

: Round two begins and-




: Ah.

Official Decision: Avery Weedman def. Kaphwan Kim by TKO (Strikes) (0:25, Round 2)
Your winner and STILL Middleweight Champion of the World: Avery Weedman!







Fighter Points
Fitch!: 5 points
Cooking School: 2 points
Dead Kennedys: 2 points
SODAK: 1 point
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 8 points
FGC: 6 points
No Homer's Club: 1 point
Tachibana Racing: 1 point
ROCK: 1 point
RBRCC: 5 points

Upgrade Post

MAKE ME MORE FIGHTERS! BRING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE SLFC! I DEMAND VALIDATION!


Upcoming Cards

SLFC 20: Serra vs. Stourleigh 2
Leonardo Serra [MSNT] vs. Logan Stourleigh [SODAK]
Welterwight Championship Bout
Pander Panderer [UNDEF] vs. Stan Wisniewski [D-KEN]
Middleweight Bout
Fry Baker [HK] vs. e.e. Cummings [NHC]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Shiro Kazami [TAC] vs. Terry O'Rae [FITCH]
Welterweight Bout
Jarred Kelenic vs. William Regal [RBRCC]
Heavyweight Bout
Storg Kennedy [D-KEN] vs. Eric Young [CAN]
Heavyweight Bout


SLFC 21: Sagat vs. Koslov
Sagat [FGC] vs. Vladimir Koslov [RBRCC]
Heavyweight Championship Bout
Okie Dokie [D-KEN] vs. Sakura Kasugano [SHIKI]
Lightweight Championship Bout
Jean-Claude Boeuf [FITCH] vs. George Steiner [RCH]
Welterweight Bout
Bryan Danielson [RBRCC] vs. Basher Nanaimo [FITCH]
Middleweight Bout
Dankwart Rustow [NHC] vs. Jon Bon Jovi [ROCK]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Tyson Dux [CAN] vs. Marshawn Money [MSNT]
Light Heavyweight Bout

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Maybe Bret Michaels should have waited until the after party in celebration of a victory before being high out of his gourd. Maybe he will learn from this.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Let's put 6 points into Pander's takedown defense.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Soon, Okie, you'll get your upgrades.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
SLFC 20: Serra vs. Stourleigh 2

: Now we're up to 20 events! And I hope and pray that this card does not end poorly.
: What's the worst that could happen?
: I have a dream of a man trapped against a cage for eternity. There is no end to his suffering, no escape. Just a man and a cage, forever. Until we are all just dust.

Heavyweight Bout: Storg [D-KEN] (1-4) vs. Eric Young [CAN] (0-1)



Round 1

: And we'll start with-




: Swing and a miss from Young. And Storg-





: Was that what you saw in your dream?
: I'm not sure. Time expires.

Round 2

: Was that my dream?






: Could it have been?
: Definitely a lot of time spent against the cage.
: Time expires again.

Round 3

: In any event, Young is down two rounds. He needs a stop!



: That's a good start, but can he do any further damage?
: I'm kind of skeptical.
: It appears that Young will just let Storg circle away, and the fight will end.

Official Decision: Storg Kennedy def. Eric Young by Uni. Decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)




Heavyweight Bout: Jarred Kelenic (1-2) vs. William Regal [RBRCC] (0-2)



Round 1

: Regal, do the right thing and make this quick!







: Thank you, William Regal!

Official Decision: William Regal def. Jarred Kelenic by Submission (heelhook) (4:13, Round 1)




Welterweight Bout: Shiro Kazami [TAC] (1-2) vs. Terry O'Rae [FITCH] (1-2)

Round 1

: It's time for another Rider to face their eternal foe: the mat!





: Kazami has this! All he has to do is not do something insane like dive to the ground to-



: OH NO!






: The Riders have clearly offended Gaea, and she will have her revenge.

Official Decision: Terry O'Rae def. Shiro Kazami by TKO (Strikes) (3:32, Round 1)




Light Heavyweight Bout: Fry Baker [HK] (0-1) vs. e.e. Cummings [NHC] (2-2)



Round 1

: HulkaMatt has high hopes for Fry Baker and-






: Smasher, should the ref do something here? Cummings has been beating on Cummings from mount for literally four straight minutes.
: Hey, Baker survived the round! Well, parts of him survived. He no longer can remember his past, and no longer can plan for the future. Fry Baker is now trapped forever in the present and the present alone.

Round 2

: Baker trying to-



: He should probably stop doing that.



: Baker's alive! Sort of. Smasher, neither fighter seems to have any energy left to finish the other guy.
: To be fair, Cummings spent an entire round whaling on Baker's face, and Baker has had most of his brains violently ejected from his skull. It's amazing that either eis alive.

Round 3

: Given that Cummings almost certainly won Round 1 with 10-8 score, Baker needs a finish here if he wants a win.







: Baker will survive to the final bell, but that's about all he has going to for him.
: And now Baker is wandering around the cage, screaming for "Adrian". Is that a reference to Rocky?
: There's a good chance that he's suffered enough brain damage that he thinks he actually is Rocky Balboa. He probably needs to go to a hospital.

Official Decision: e.e. Cummings def. Fry Baker by Uni. Decision (29-27, 29-27, 29-28)




Middleweight Bout: Pander Panderer [UNDEF] (3-2) vs. Stan [D-KEN] (0-2)



Round 1




Round 2




Round 3




Official Decision: Pander Panderer def. Stan by Split Decision (30-27, 28-29, 30-27)



: THE gently caress WAS THAT?!
: I'm confused how one judge could score the fight for Stan when Stan didn't hit a single strike.


Welterweight Championship Bout: Leonardo Serra [MSNT] (4-1) vs. Logan Stourleigh [SODAK] (3-1)



: It is now time for the...oh...this is what I dreamt of. It's too late to stop it now.











Official Decision: Logan Stourleigh def. Leonardo Serra by Uni. Decision (48-47, 49-46, 48-47)
Your winner and NEW Welterweight Champion of the World: Logan Stourleigh!






Fighter Points
SODAK: 5 points
Matt Serra's Ninja Turtles: 3 points
Dead Kennedys: 3 points
RBRCC: 8 points
Tachibana Racing: 1 point
No Homer's Club: 2 points
Cooking School: 1 point
Undefeateds: 2 points
Team Canada: 1 point
FITCH: 2 points

Upgrade Post

MAKE ME MORE FIGHTERS! BRING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE SLFC! I DEMAND VALIDATION!


Upcoming Cards


SLFC 21: Sagat vs. Koslov
Sagat [FGC] vs. Vladimir Koslov [RBRCC]
Heavyweight Championship Bout
Okie Dokie [D-KEN] vs. Sakura Kasugano [SHIKI]
Lightweight Championship Bout
Jean-Claude Boeuf [FITCH] vs. George Steiner [RCH]
Welterweight Bout
Bryan Danielson [RBRCC] vs. Basher Nanaimo [FITCH]
Middleweight Bout
Dankwart Rustow [NHC] vs. Jon Bon Jovi [ROCK]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Tyson Dux [CAN] vs. Marshawn Money [MSNT]
Light Heavyweight Bout


SLFC 22: Moxley vs. Neil
Jon Moxley [RBRCC] vs. Vince Neil [ROCK]
For the Light Heavyweight Championship
FS Drago [MSNT] vs. Chef Sal [HK]
Heavyweight Bout
Petey Williams [CAN] vs. Daisuke Yamamoto [TAC]
Middleweight Bout
Hyperion Royale [MSNT] vs. Joji Yuki [TAC]
Lightweight Bout
Clevin Dark [SODAK] vs. Sergei Dragunov [FGC]
Light Heavyweight Bout
Mike Haggar vs. Michael Bolton [ROCK]
Heavyweight Bout

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Two title fights!!!

3 points to Sakura's reflexes, 2 points to her Killer Instincts, and 1 point to Sagat's wrestling ability

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
I believe in you Jarred.

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Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
MAKE YOUR ROSTER POSTS!

I'm putting the SLFC on hiatus until we get more roster posts.

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