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My child ate 1.5 pb & j sandwiches while sprinting around a playground tonight for dinner. and I mean literally shoving her face full and sprinting
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Aug 17, 2023 02:40
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lobster shirt posted:the worst blowout i ever had, there was such a big pile of poo poo on the floor i thought my son had taken his diaper off and just taken a dump. but no... basically his entire diaper region, front and back, was also coated in sludge. horrifying. In my case it was my son being a legit poop magician. I went to remove his diaper and there was poop all the way up his back and then up to the front too, just completely caked into everything. His diaper was still on just fine and the outside of it was just completely covered. The magic trick? The inside of the diaper was white as a sheet and just a little wet. 
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Aug 17, 2023 05:09
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I thought it would be fun to buy a nerf gun to chase around and shoot my kids with but then I went down a hyper fixated youtube hole on "foam blasters" and bought some chinese one which...is about 200 times too powerful to shoot my kids with. what the gently caress. nerf technology has gone too far.
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Aug 17, 2023 10:19
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Yelling "just let me poop" through the door daily, as a parent does.
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Aug 19, 2023 00:52
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i like the caillou song... good tune
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Aug 19, 2023 00:59
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pooping is sacrosanct alone time
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Aug 19, 2023 01:16
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You can poop alone as a parent??
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Aug 19, 2023 01:55
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fosborb posted:pooping is sacrosanct alone time
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Aug 19, 2023 02:38
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anyone else's little kids have the innate ability to immediately sense the most potentially dangerous thing in a room and go for it with focused intensity? visiting grandparents and the kiddo goes right past the carefully curated toy selection and beelines for the fireplace kecske has issued a correction as of 10:20 on Aug 19, 2023 |
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Aug 19, 2023 10:18
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fosborb posted:pooping is sacrosanct alone time In the first 4 weeks of my son's life I treasured every opportunity to go and do a poo and be by myself Then I went back to work and was like "gently caress yes!! The office!!  "
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Aug 19, 2023 10:38
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I was told I'm a good dad, so I'm riding that high for the next week.
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Aug 19, 2023 10:46
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Quite a contrast to the claims made in your av
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Aug 19, 2023 10:55
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Microplastics posted:Quite a contrast to the claims made in your av I don't see how they are mutually exclusive.
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Aug 19, 2023 12:00
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Lol good point
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Aug 19, 2023 12:14
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Votskomit posted:I don't see how they are mutually exclusive. that's right
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Aug 19, 2023 13:44
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kecske posted:anyone else's little kids have the innate ability to immediately sense the most potentially dangerous thing in a room and go for it with focused intensity? has he ever seen a fireplace before tho?
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Aug 19, 2023 13:48
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fosborb posted:pooping is sacrosanct alone time My 2yo is adamant about this for himself but has no respect for others.
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Aug 20, 2023 18:39
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PerniciousKnid posted:My 2yo is adamant about this for himself but has no respect for others. I'm wondering when to teach the 6 year old about privacy when pooping. He will not close the door (except for temper reasons), at home, in other people's homes or even in busy public restrooms like at the aquarium. Also my current paternity ritual involves pooping the moment he the baby is down for first nap.
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Aug 20, 2023 19:03
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PerniciousKnid posted:My 2yo is adamant about this for himself but has no respect for others. My daughter just turned 3 and still won't use the potty but is aware enough of when she's pooping to make formal announcements to everyone in the room
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Aug 20, 2023 20:19
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PerniciousKnid posted:My 2yo is adamant about this for himself but has no respect for others. my kid was like that with their drinks until they were like six. if parents have a fancy drink? of course they'll share! if kid has even a cup of water and we want a drink? sharing = meltdown
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Aug 20, 2023 20:28
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fosborb posted:lol fond memories of this happening at a Target i'd just put the kid in the diaper bag at that point
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Aug 20, 2023 20:44
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my 3yo daughter can wipe her own butt however she screams "daddy!!! wipe my bottom!" every time she poops and whenever I ask her why she doesn't do it herself she just giggles and tells me to wash her hands
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Aug 20, 2023 21:50
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alpha dogged by a toddler...
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Aug 20, 2023 21:52
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bitmap posted:alpha dogged by a toddler... My daughter has taken to seeking my eye contact while filling her diaper, so... yeah.
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Aug 21, 2023 12:03
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My kid informed me it wasn't fair for her to wipe herself.
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Aug 21, 2023 13:12
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The older kid just went out the door for his first day of kindergarten! God drat this is crazy. I'm so relieved that he's excited about it.
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Aug 21, 2023 13:46
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Greg Legg posted:The older kid just went out the door for his first day of kindergarten! God drat this is crazy. I'm so relieved that he's excited about it. I'm gonna be a nervous wreck the whole day waiting to hear how it goes.
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Aug 21, 2023 14:22
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Greg Legg posted:The older kid just went out the door for his first day of kindergarten! God drat this is crazy. I'm so relieved that he's excited about it. Amazing  does he know how to get there?
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Aug 21, 2023 20:08
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Microplastics posted:Amazing lol
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Aug 21, 2023 21:08
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my 10 month old is like the agent 47 of committing suicide. enters a room, scans it for anything he could possibly end himself with and instantly does his best to get the job done.
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Aug 22, 2023 08:48
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I don't know why babies aren't helping out electricians more, they can detect hidden wires and outlets better than any equipment ever could.
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Aug 22, 2023 11:24
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BonHair posted:I don't know why babies aren't helping out electricians more, they can detect hidden wires and outlets better than any equipment ever could. my joke is if the cops ever want to find the murder weapon or what they’re looking for then deploy the toddlers when mine was a toddler she found like loose pills in a location we never even take medicine.
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Aug 22, 2023 12:07
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Aug 22, 2023 13:21
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My 3 year old asked "why does Wegmans have a train" And I said "to trick you into wanting to go so you make me and Mom go there" Said the 3 year old "it's working" breaking into giggles
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Aug 22, 2023 14:25
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Microplastics posted:Amazing My kindergartener went in to school holding hands with his big sister, and I told my wife, "I hope she doesn't have to deal with separation anxiety from him when they split ways." Wife just shrugged and said "not my problem".
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Aug 22, 2023 17:28
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these days I'm knee-deep in school activities (field trips, clubs, movie nights) so I'm always stoked when school comes back around. let's do some stuff.
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Aug 22, 2023 17:39
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bitmap posted:my 3yo daughter can wipe her own butt however she screams "daddy!!! wipe my bottom!" every time she poops and whenever I ask her why she doesn't do it herself she just giggles and tells me to wash her hands my 21 month old tells me everything i need to do in order to get ready to go outside so we get outside faster
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Aug 23, 2023 00:00
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5yo said "you're bossy enough to be a police officer". Owned hard.
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Aug 23, 2023 00:55
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Face your plate quit touching your sister citizen!
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Aug 23, 2023 00:56
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AxGrap posted:5yo said "you're bossy enough to be a police officer". Owned hard. At least you can explain why you're not getting a dog
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Aug 23, 2023 05:54
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