r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

r/relationships: Your wife is your family? And you want to gently caress them so

current thread title sucks, this is perfect

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:08

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# ? May 30, 2024 04:08

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

axolotl farmer posted:

A friend of mine lived in a NYC rental, and the upstairs neighbor died and wasn�t found until the entire building started complaing about the smell.

The dead guys apartment was cleaned out by the super himself and the smell stayed. When everything in my friends place started smelling like dead neighbor weeks later she complained and the super didn�t feel like paying for real sanitation, so all she got was �Why don�t you boil some cinnamon sticks and apples on the stove? That will take care of any smell.�

She noped out of there, leaving a reasonably priced Manhattan 2br.

The more you think about it, Netflix series aside, you really wonder about all those people who had complaints about how horrible the apartment building smelled. and how easily the landlord brushed it off with the same excuse over and over of a freezer being broken in the case of Jeffrey Dahmer.

There's not enough cinnamon in the world to take care of that kind of stink.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:12

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

spookykid posted:

Not only the MOH but also the wedding planner/director of operations lol. That's what makes me think he did it day of rather than earlier, so that there was no time to find someone else as a replacement and get them up to speed. He's being petty and punishing Stacy in a very machiavellian way, and making himself look pretty blameless in the process.

I dunno, I'm leaning more to him telling her on the day on the assumption that since she'd already arranged everything he could clear his conscience by telling her before the wedding, and not realising that all the planning and management were still relying on her.

But yeah, any way OP needs to be very blunt and very public about why she bailed. And anyone who gives her poo poo after that is no friend of hers.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:14

Badly Jester: Apr 9, 2010; Bitches!

spookykid posted:

Not only the MOH but also the wedding planner/director of operations lol. That's what makes me think he did it day of rather than earlier, so that there was no time to find someone else as a replacement and get them up to speed. He's being petty and punishing Stacy in a very machiavellian way, and making himself look pretty blameless in the process.

Alternatively, he wanted to have a clean conscience, but was also hoping it being so last minute would guilt OP into not bailing on the wedding.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:16

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Johnny Truant posted:

r/relationships: Your wife is your family? And you want to gently caress them so

current thread title sucks, this is perfect

If your spouse has a sibling then you are married to your sibling-in-law. God doesn't care but Santa does so no presents for 1 year once he finds out and he's always scanning for new registry lists.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:16

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I'd put up with dead body smell if it meant a reduction in my rent.

Brings a new meaning to the phrase "I'd kill to get a place like that"

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:50

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Ask and you shall receive

My (22f) fiance (25m) want his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married.

I have many questions. In what culture is this acceptable? How do you check to see if a hymen
is intact without being an doctor, why do you need a group of perverts observing and what happens
if the Hymen isn't intact? This whole thing sounds medieval.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 18:54

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

That weird story about "financial infidelity" got an update.

New Update: Husband accused me of "financial infidelity" (and he's still a turd)

quote:

Not sure if folks remember, but I had a series of posts earlier in the summer (actual links in my profile) - first, about whether I was the AH for buying an expensive gaming PC, desk and chair with my own allocation of "fun money," leading to an accusation of "financial infidelity" from my husband. Later he told me the actual issue was that he was disappointed by my job (senior software dev, but not on the executive management track), relatively casual appearance (not dressing up in dresses, makeup and heels for dinners at home) and my failure to cook extremely elaborate multi-course meals on a nightly basis. After a simple experiment showed that changing these things (the cooking and appearance, anyway) would not actually make him happy, he accused me of being "low value" because I wasn't a virgin when we met (in college, 12 years go, something he had never stated was an issue before) and then admitted he was cheating with a coworker. Who is now pregnant. Last I updated, he had moved in with Amy (his coworker) and we were starting the divorce process.

I'm updating again here because a lot of kind people have been checking in with well-wishes and to see how I'm holding up. Sorry for not updating sooner, but as soon as I got back from the spa weekend I mentioned in my last update, I dove into working with my attorney on the divorce settlement, and didn't think it wise to put my business on the Internet, however anonymously, with the legal issues up in the air.

The good news is that we were able to come to an agreement pretty quickly and everything is now executed (just waiting for the court date which could take another couple months, but my lawyer says the agreement is airtight). It wasn't quite as favorable as most of you all lovely folks probably would have wanted for me, but I was highly motivated to get it done fast. I did get everything that really mattered to me: first, the house I inherited from my grandmother is 100% mine, along with all the furnishings and other effects in the house. My own retirement accounts and my "fun money" account are all mine as well. Otherwise, I did have to give him 75% of the other cash assets. Although he wasn't on the title for the house, he did contribute substantially to the large renovation we did, as well as to upkeep since then, and the house appreciated very substantially in the years since we moved in. It's fine as I still have plenty of money, especially as I'm quite frugal most of the time and can rebuild cash savings quickly. Our agreement also states that neither of us has a claim on each other's past, present or future earnings. So in case something happens and he loses his job before the court date, I won't be liable for any alimony. This is actually overall a very good deal for me and gives me a lot of security.

(In case anyone is wondering how we got this done so quickly: our state allows divorce on "mutual consent" grounds, which basically allows for a quick divorce without a legal separation period if the parties come to an agreement about all the finances/assets. Given that Amy is pregnant, my soon-to-be-ex (let's call him "Joe" - yes, like the psychopath in the show You) was also very motivated to not drag this out.)

Now for the real dirt of this update: last weekend, shortly after all our papers were signed, Amy reached out to me. She asked if we could meet and talk. Perhaps I should have declined, but I will admit I was curious about the "24-year-old prodigy and until recently a virgin" person who was Joe's affair partner, so I agreed to meet her for lunch.

So, the first thing is, Amy is *very* pregnant, like third trimester. She confirmed she is due in mid-October, which means the affair has been going on a whole lot longer than Joe let on. Whatever, it's water under the bridge as the divorce is almost final. However, after some polite but chilly pleasantries, she asked me, when am I going to be moving out of the house? Because surely Joe has been patient enough with giving me time to get my life together? And her apartment is small and they are needing space for the baby.

Uhhhh...what? I told her she must be mistaken as the house is mine, inherited from my grandmother, but asked her...what else has Joe told her about me, and our marriage? And...lie after lie (Joe's lies, that is) tumbled out of her mouth, along with crumbs of the real story. These gems include:

- Well, it was true that she and Joe met at work. But it was about a year ago, when they were both interviewing for the executive training program they are now in. Amy said, though, that they first became friends before getting together romantically. Apparently, Joe told her that he was legally married but that we had been "separated in spirit and living separate lives" since 2020. But that he didn't want to kick me out and make me homeless during the pandemic because I didn't make much money and we live in a HCOL.

- Joe told Amy that we met in our early 20s when he was mentoring me in a GED prep program - that I was a high school dropout who was struggling with addiction, and essentially, that he "rescued" me. Helped me get clean, tutored me for my GED, and had been supporting me since through gradually working on college classes. He told Amy I was working on prepping for an IT career and was currently making $45K as a help desk technician and that he wanted to make sure I could at least afford a studio apartment. He also told Amy that we had "separated" because I had relapsed and he couldn't have a meaningful relationship with a drug addict. (Uhhh...all this is lies. My entire history of drug use is occasionally sharing a joint in college, maybe 4-5 times total, never anything harder.)

- It is true that Amy was a 24-year-old virgin prodigy. She seemed dismayed that Joe had told me that, though (at least the virgin part). Said it wasn't a moral issue, she really was just focused on school and work and didn't make time to date. And that generally guys her age seemed mostly interested in casual hookups, especially the younger finance bro types, and she wasn't interested in that, but that Joe took the time to get to know her and was actually interested in a meaningful relationship.

- I asked her if the pregnancy was...planned? She said no, of course not, but it was a miracle because Joe had a vasectomy, so they took that as a sign that they should keep the baby. (Uhhh...no, Joe did NOT have a vasectomy. As we were planning to be a child-free couple I suggested it a couple times over the years, he firmly stated he didn't want to alter his body like that, so he left birth control as my responsibility.)

So...it really does seem that Amy is pretty blameless here. I mean, those of us who have been around the block would likely know not to believe a guy who claims to be "separated" but is still legally married and living with his wife, but...without her having any dating/relationship experience I can see where she would have taken him at his word, about everything. After all, I didn't know anything was amiss with Joe until a couple months ago - and I was married to him.

Of course Amy didn't want to believe me, and I don't blame her for that either...after all, she's been in a relationship with Joe for close to a year and is 7+ months pregnant with his baby, who is coming soon, ready or not. I couldn't immediately refute everything she said, but showed her a couple things - first, a picture of me in my late teens with my grandmother in front of my house, and also, my Linkedin profile which shows my current job and education. Told her to do what she wanted with the info and to please stay safe and take care of herself, and then said my goodbyes. Yes, it was all very odd and unexpected and surreal.

Sorry this is so long but figured those following my tale would be interested in this turn. I am not sure if I will update again...maybe in a year or so when I have truly processed everything with lots of therapy and am hopefully on to living my best life. As for Joe and Amy, it's up to them to find whatever their path is. I do hope she wises up and leaves him but am sadly not confident about that. I'm sure he will be able to spin all this in his favor because that's what he does. But I also can't make it my problem anymore.

LOL the mistress fell right off the turnip truck. My wife and have been basically divorced for years, she's a druggie who I rescued her and she spurned me and relapsed, I own all these assets outright, we don't need condoms I've had a vasectomy - he hit all the squares on the cheater bingo card, it's amazing.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:16

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AITA for refusing to call my friend's cultural food by the "appropriate" name according to her?

quote:

I'm [24/f] a vegan, I've been eating tofu and incorporating in into different dishes daily for years. I've learned during that time that "tofu" is a cultural food in many cultures that actually call it "tahu". One of my friends, Alex [24/f], would ask me (it always seemed she was joking) to call tofu by the right name, tahu, almost everytime I mentioned tofu. It started getting annoying and I would just outright ignore her "jokes" and not even respond anymore.

A while ago, the same thing happened, but this time she got mad when I decided to completely ignore her and continue talking about what I was before she interjected. It was a long-drawn-out argument but basically, she said I was being disrespectful. I said I was calling it by the name that's well-known and is written on 99% of the packages I buy and see at different stores.

She said since I'm not friends or spend much time someone who is actually from a culture that calls it tofu, I should call it tahu because I'm closer to a person, her, who calls it that. I thought that was just dumb and told her that. It seems so silly to have use the word tahu and then have to explain it to people as "it the same thing as tofu", instead of just using the word that most people are familiar with.

I also said it would be a hassle and hard to suddenly call it a different name. This is where my other friend decided to interject and say "you easily managed to refer to me as "they" instead of "she", you can do this this too but you're clearly just being stubborn". I was kinda shocked and even said that her pronoun change is more of an issue than this tofu issue. She said it is similar even if it a lesser issue than pronouns because it shows that I don't respect Alex.

My two other friends who were there during this are on my side, but refused to defend me directly during the argument. They both say I'm right but one of them asked me to just apologize to Alex and try to call the food tahu, at least around her because it was clearly something she was sensitive about. I honestly would do that and keep the peace if I knew she truly cared about this, but I feel like this is some weird attempt to try and control and police me and I'm worried if I do what she asked me, she'll just continue to ask unreasonable things of me and try to make me out to be the bad guy like she is doing now.

On the other hand, she is the only one in this group that is from a different country while the rest of us are American (3 white and 1 black) so maybe I'm missing something and just being an ignorant rear end in a top hat? So, AITA for refusing to call tofu by tahu instead?

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:28

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for refusing to call my friend's cultural food by the "appropriate" name according to her?

This is unhinged behavior on the part of the friend and I guarantee there�s probably hundreds of millions more Chinese people that call it tofu than whatever culture this friend is from

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:34

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for refusing to call my friend's cultural food by the "appropriate" name according to her?

quote:
She said since I'm not friends or spend much time someone who is actually from a culture that calls it tofu,

quote:
I said I was calling it by the name that's well-known and is written on 99% of the packages I buy and see at different stores.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:34

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

well, in my culture we call it "fuckyu"

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:38

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

OP had a culture too and in their culture it's called tofu so

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:39

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for refusing to call my friend's cultural food by the "appropriate" name according to her?

if I had a friend who was getting really upset about something small like this I'd probably accommodate them even if it was weird and I didn't care about whatever they were talking about

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:39

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for refusing to call my friend's cultural food by the "appropriate" name according to her?

they should all stay friends together for ever and ever

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

if I had a friend who was getting really upset about something small like this I'd probably accommodate them even if it was weird and I didn't care about whatever they were talking about

they'd probably do something stupid before you really became friends

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:42

Raygereio: Nov 12, 2012

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for refusing to call my friend's cultural food by the "appropriate" name according to her?
...
She said since I'm not friends or spend much time someone who is actually from a culture that calls it tofu, I should call it tahu because I'm closer to a person, her, who calls it that.
...

Hang on. So this Alex isn't even Indonesian? It would be a stupid hill to die on even if Alex was, but this reads like she just randomly decided the whole group should call tofu something else for no real reason.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:47

Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

Just don't talk about tofu if it's such a sensitive issue. The "Tahu" friend sounds like she is itching for a fight

But Tahu can play at that game :jerry:

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:48

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

if I had a friend who was getting really upset about something small like this I'd probably accommodate them even if it was weird and I didn't care about whatever they were talking about

I would just get better friends

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:49

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Raygereio posted:

Hang on. So this Alex isn't even Indonesian? It would be a stupid hill to die on even if Alex was, but this reads like she just randomly decided the whole group should call tofu something else for no real reason.

It sounds like Alex actually is Indonesian (OP mentions that she's the only member of the friend circle that's not culturally American), she's saying that OP does not personally know anyone from a culture that uses tofu as a native name and therefore has no particular reason to use it over Alex's native name for it.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 19:56

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

the holy poopacy posted:

It sounds like Alex actually is Indonesian (OP mentions that she's the only member of the friend circle that's not culturally American), she's saying that OP does not personally know anyone from a culture that uses tofu as a native name and therefore has no particular reason to use it over Alex's native name for it.

Books, what even are they.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:01

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

Everyone in that story deserves to have dog poo poo pushed through their teeth. Gotta be rage bait.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:01

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I had no idea anyone curd so much about tofu.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:04

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I had no idea anyone curd so much about tofu.

This seems like a naan starter to me

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:07

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Captain Hygiene posted:

This seems like a naan starter to me

No1curry

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:11

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Hire a Chinese-American actor to pretend to be your girlfriend at the next get together. Instruct her to fight to defend the word tofu. She'd need to be good at improv.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:29

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I had no idea anyone curd so much about tofu.

tahu

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:29

Tarezax: Sep 12, 2009; MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT

Technically tofu is a loanword from Japanese, not Chinese, although I think some Chinese dialects pronounce it similarly. The Mandarin Chinese pronunciation is doufu

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:33

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

This comment on an advice column is interesting because it was written by someone from the 1500s:

quote:

Most women would complain to their husbands, and where I come from, their husbands would put an end to it. Now, if he was some kind of bigshot who the men were afraid to handle face to face, he would likely enjoy a blanket party in some parking lot sometime, or maybe even in his own front yard.

If you don't know what a blanket party is, YAHOO is your friend!

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:43

Combo: Aug 19, 2003

How often does tofu come up in conversation for these people? Good god

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:52

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

trickybiscuits posted:

This comment on an advice column is interesting because it was written by someone from the 1500s:

the gently caress was the question?

# ? Aug 24, 2023 20:56

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Benagain posted:

the gently caress was the question?

A woman who was bothered that her husband made sexual jokes in company. The comments agreed that it was impossible to tell which of them was being unreasonable without knowing what the husband was actually doing and whether other women were bothered by it.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 21:00

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

trickybiscuits posted:

A woman who was bothered that her husband made sexual jokes in company. The comments agreed that it was impossible to tell which of them was being unreasonable without knowing what the husband was actually doing and whether other women were bothered by it.

Thanks, I couldn't remember so I was about to altavista it myself

# ? Aug 24, 2023 21:02

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I'd put up with dead body smell if it meant a reduction in my rent.

Invite your landlord over to see the cask of sherry you found in the basement

# ? Aug 24, 2023 21:10

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

PancakeTransmission posted:

Well yes obviously, but I meant as compared to someone who is hanging with 17 year Olds while being 19. I dunno about you folks but when I was in high school, it was very rare for people to have friends in other grades as you'd never really interact with them outside of lunch.

most of my friends were in the same grade but i had friends in higher grades and lower grades to literally all of my highschools classess were open to every grade except health / drivers ed you had to be in 10th and 11th grade to take it. we also all had break and lunch together.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 21:29

Fritzler: Sep 5, 2007

Tarezax posted:

Technically tofu is a loanword from Japanese, not Chinese, although I think some Chinese dialects pronounce it similarly. The Mandarin Chinese pronunciation is doufu

Yeah this is what I thought because have been to more �authentic� restaurants where they have mapp dofu.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 21:38

Qylvaran: Mar 28, 2010

My spouse is Chinese and still calls it tofu when speaking English.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 21:45

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Yes, but is she Indonesian?

# ? Aug 24, 2023 22:05

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

if I had a friend who was getting really upset about something small like this I'd probably accommodate them even if it was weird and I didn't care about whatever they were talking about

I would not probably not look to preserve my friendship with the person who cannot emotionally handle words being different in different languages

# ? Aug 24, 2023 22:12

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

quote:

Recently, my daughter gave me a hard time about coming to help for two weeks when I was going to be laid up with major surgery. When her husband arrived, my husband�who has cognitive issues�let the dog loose by accident and the dog bit my son-in-law (the dog had never seen him before) and there was one puncture (no stitches). Well, my daughter reported me and the dog to animal control, but she didn�t tell us until after she left town. I now feel I cannot trust her, and my husband and I feel she did this intentionally. Am I wrong to want to have nothing to do with her? The dog is a sweetheart and my constant companion.

It's nice she'll have someone in her life now that she's alienated her daughter.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 22:13

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# ? May 30, 2024 04:08

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Start calling it Touhou just to piss her off even more.

# ? Aug 24, 2023 22:19

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