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16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014

GokuGoesSSj69 posted:

What is it about CM Punk that compells people to defend him? From his first aew press conference I knew he'd be trouble. He's a petty rear end in a top hat who thinks he's the best ever when the reality is in an era when there's three active wrestlers who are in the argument for best ever he's pretty average at actually wrestling.

he said some things that were correct about the WWE and had a real life feud with Triple H that garnered him sympathy

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Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002
Hell Gem

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

he got into a physical fight in front of tony kahn and tony was hit by some of the monitors Punk got his contract terminated just cause instead of being paid to leave lol

loving lol. Imagine being such a dumb piss baby that you can’t stop yourself from getting into a fight in front of the CEO.

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014

Bum the Sad posted:

loving lol. Imagine being such a dumb piss baby that you can’t stop yourself from getting into a fight in front of the CEO.

it was recorded from multiple angles and he got fired for cause because there was no way for him to get out of it this time lol

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Cartoon Man posted:

Maybe CM Punk could be the next effort post? Would love to hear more about how he got to this point.

Two Years of Punk: Prologue

I had already talked about CM Punk’s run in WWE, but I should probably go over the gist of CM Punk’s career. In the aftermath of WCW and ECW dying, the wrestling landscape changed heavily. TNA was the weaker replacement of WCW and ECW was replaced with the rise of the American independents. Ring of Honor was the pinnacle of the indies. The problem was that now that WWE was on top of the mountain with no real opposition, they could pick and choose what kind of talent they truly wanted. They wanted the large, jacked former football players. They had very little interest in the big fish of the indies.

CM Punk was a huge name in the indies and a top guy in ROH. When the time came, he left for WWE and miraculously got to keep his ring name. Due to his size and indie status, Punk was brought in to fail. WWE is a place where being successful elsewhere is an insult. ROH doesn’t exist to them. Japan doesn’t exist. If you never worked for WWE, you simply never existed to begin with.

Punk put in the work and gradually climbed up the ladder. He had suffered bad booking. He clashed with the senior members of the roster. He got over when he wasn’t supposed to. Eventually, he became a top name due to a storyline where he was teasing winning the WWE Championship and allowing his contract to lapse. It was a storyline he did for ROH years earlier and it was successful there. The storyline made Punk look like an antihero compared to the squeaky-clean corporate-picked hero John Cena. There was massive buzz around it.

Punk won the title at Money in the Bank 2011 and secretly re-signed with the company, but the aftermath was troublesome. There were plenty of missteps, including putting the spotlight on Triple H. Kevin Nash of all people showed up to screw Punk out of the title and the payoff was Triple H vs. Nash. Punk never even got his revenge.

He did get the title back and held it for well over a year, but it felt like it was there to placate him. He was champ, but he wasn’t the top guy. John Cena was still in the main events and was even finishing the feud with Punk’s rival John Laurenitis. Then Punk was shoved into the background for the Cena vs. Rock feud.

Punk’s work was going to pay off as they were preparing a Royal Rumble win and WrestleMania main event for him. That was the last thing Punk truly wanted in terms of career goals. Then they got Batista to return for a bit and gave him that spot. Punk was instead prepared for a WrestleMania match with Triple H, which Triple H insisted was just as good and important. At the 2014 Royal Rumble, Punk got concussed early on and spent the whole match in a haze before being pulled out of the ring by Kane and being chokeslammed through a table.

The day after, as they were getting ready to start the Road to WrestleMania, Punk was fed up and walked out. He had a meeting with Vince and Triple H where he chewed them out for all sorts of things before leaving. Then they proceeded to send him his walking papers on the day of his wedding. It’s one of those situations where you can see it as petty, because it is, but you can’t really be mad because you loving walked, dude.

Punk walked out of this looking like a legend. WWE felt broken and he was the one causing a stink, so he seemed like this awesome guy who spoke truth to the idiots in charge and was so tired from their bullshit that he walked. But separate from that, Punk did have his issues. He had a paranoia to him where he saw insults out of whole cloth and would cut people out of his life for it. He always felt like people were using him. Kofi Kingston was one of his closest friends in the business and he has no idea why Punk no longer wanted anything to do with him. Hornswoggle once got a new phone and asked Punk for someone’s number and Punk figured Swoggle was trying to take advantage of him. They never spoke again.

When Chris Jericho texted to check up on him, Punk saw it as a guy with a podcast trying to get info on the hottest story and told him to gently caress off. If Punk was going to has his dirty laundry on a podcast, it was going to be with someone he trusted. So he went on Colt Cabana’s podcast.

Along with Ace Steel, Colt was one of Punk’s best friends and they had a long history in the wrestling business. Punk showed up on his podcast and discussed everything that went wrong with his WWE run. He made sure to discuss how incompetent the medical staff was in WWE, how Punk had a staph infection, and how he was literally making GBS threads himself in the ring.

WWE funded a lawsuit for the head of WWE’s medical staff against Punk and Colt. It was meant to drain them of money and it honestly did more damage than any of them would ever realize. While Punk’s side won, he and Colt had issues about the bill. Different sides have different stories, but the short of it is that Punk claimed that he was going to pay Colt’s legal bills, then refused. Then the two started suing each other.

Friendship over.

All Elite Wrestling started up in 2019 and a lot of fans wondered if this was something Punk might be interested in. Not only was it an alternative to wrestling fans, but for someone who once had a real passion for the business. As the story goes, Cody Rhodes and/or the Young Bucks texted Punk about his interest in the company. Cody would later claim that there was more to it, that they called him and someone even met him at a coffee shop, but Punk was offended at being asked in such a way as texting.

Regardless, Punk was in contact with the company’s owner Tony Khan.

And so, in 2019, CM Punk would make his return to wrestling...by making appearances on a D-list WWE show that nobody watched. Apparently, Fox paid him a shitload of money to do that.

As this was going on, AEW signed Colt Cabana. He was a midcarder who was brought into the Dark Order stable. Whatever story they were building with him screeched to a halt when group leader Brodie Lee died.

Punk was not a fan of what he saw in WWE, but was really liking AEW. What he especially liked was how when Brodie Lee spent several months in ailing health, nobody in the company leaked info of it to the press. That meant a lot to him. He also mentioned on Twitter which talents he would want to face if given the chance. They were mainly the young up-and-comers, but he did say that his dream match was him and Bryan Danielson vs. the Young Bucks.

He talked about a comeback with Tony Khan, but it was agreed that they would wait until after COVID calmed down and they could go back to having full crowds. What’s the point of bringing Punk back if there’s not as many people there to celebrate it?

With summer coming to an end in 2021, the word was that CM Punk was definitely on his way to AEW. Fox executives were pissed at WWE for not signing Punk, even offering to use their money, but Vince was not interested. AEW was starting up their new Friday show Rampage and Tony Khan announced that the second episode would take place in Chicago for a show called “The First Dance.”

In a pre-taped segment, Darby Allin claimed that he would be there and said he would take on anyone, even if they were “the best in the world.” It was very obvious what the Chicago Rampage would be about, but they made sure to keep it anything but official.

Bad Video Games
Sep 17, 2017


I stopped watching wrestling in the 90's and only got back into it in February of last year with AEW. I actually liked Punk during his feud with MJF, but he slid downhill after that fast. I stopped watching again in November of last year, and it's extremely funny that he just can't go 5 months without causing drama.

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

GokuGoesSSj69 posted:

What is it about CM Punk that compells people to defend him? From his first aew press conference I knew he'd be trouble. He's a petty rear end in a top hat who thinks he's the best ever when the reality is in an era when there's three active wrestlers who are in the argument for best ever he's pretty average at actually wrestling.

I imagine it's very similar to how Trump originally became popular, in that it's initially extremely funny to release a raging narcissist on your enemies and to watch Ted Cruz try and win an argument against a man who tells him that he can't be president because his wife is too fat

as long as you're happy to agree with them forever and never want to achieve anything that doesn't involve burning bridges, nothing will ever go wrong

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

ngl, it bums me out a little because I'd hoped--foolishly, it would seem--that Punk might come to understand that carrying all that paranoia is destructive to him and everyone around him, and that it wouldn't, in fact, kill him to chill out and unclench for a fuckin minute

but to hell with all that, Pepsi Phil's Big Bridge Torch goes brrrrr phwoooomf. and in the face of that, what's left to do but lol, and then lmao

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Punk should have listened to Hogan for how to stay in the limelight, brother!

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

SatansOnion posted:

ngl, it bums me out a little because I'd hoped--foolishly, it would seem--that Punk might come to understand that carrying all that paranoia is destructive to him and everyone around him, and that it wouldn't, in fact, kill him to chill out and unclench for a fuckin minute

but to hell with all that, Pepsi Phil's Big Bridge Torch goes brrrrr phwoooomf. and in the face of that, what's left to do but lol, and then lmao

You'd think the affirmation he'd get from being one of the top dogs of a rising company would give him enough to maybe outweigh his issues, and that maybe age and wisdom had calmed his temper... but he apparently only has gotten worse in every conceivable way over time.

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

Pepsi is a garbage-tier drink and only a sociopath would tattoo their logo on his body.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

SirPhoebos posted:

Punk should have listened to Hogan for how to stay in the limelight, brother!

I think Punk and Hogan have the same problem. They learned lessons in life and wrestling that caused them to conclude that they should never relinquish control after they get it. Thing is, when he's not busy being a racist, Hogan is a pretty chill dude. A calm, cool, "That doesn't work for me, brother." is a far cry from assaulting coworkers and the boss.

Hogan may in fact be a man of better moral (and muscle) fiber than CM Punk, lol.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

how hasnt anyone mentioned being straight edge yet cause really it sums it up

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
kevin nash saying you shouldnt give a poo poo about what someone says because your getting paid millions of dollars just to be there and that CM Punk needs therapy ftw

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004

Gavok posted:

Two Years of Punk: Prologue

I had already talked about CM Punk’s run in WWE, but I should probably go over the gist of CM Punk’s career. In the aftermath of WCW and ECW dying, the wrestling landscape changed heavily. TNA was the weaker replacement of WCW and ECW was replaced with the rise of the American independents. Ring of Honor was the pinnacle of the indies. The problem was that now that WWE was on top of the mountain with no real opposition, they could pick and choose what kind of talent they truly wanted. They wanted the large, jacked former football players. They had very little interest in the big fish of the indies.

CM Punk was a huge name in the indies and a top guy in ROH. When the time came, he left for WWE and miraculously got to keep his ring name. Due to his size and indie status, Punk was brought in to fail. WWE is a place where being successful elsewhere is an insult. ROH doesn’t exist to them. Japan doesn’t exist. If you never worked for WWE, you simply never existed to begin with.

Punk put in the work and gradually climbed up the ladder. He had suffered bad booking. He clashed with the senior members of the roster. He got over when he wasn’t supposed to. Eventually, he became a top name due to a storyline where he was teasing winning the WWE Championship and allowing his contract to lapse. It was a storyline he did for ROH years earlier and it was successful there. The storyline made Punk look like an antihero compared to the squeaky-clean corporate-picked hero John Cena. There was massive buzz around it.

Punk won the title at Money in the Bank 2011 and secretly re-signed with the company, but the aftermath was troublesome. There were plenty of missteps, including putting the spotlight on Triple H. Kevin Nash of all people showed up to screw Punk out of the title and the payoff was Triple H vs. Nash. Punk never even got his revenge.

He did get the title back and held it for well over a year, but it felt like it was there to placate him. He was champ, but he wasn’t the top guy. John Cena was still in the main events and was even finishing the feud with Punk’s rival John Laurenitis. Then Punk was shoved into the background for the Cena vs. Rock feud.

Punk’s work was going to pay off as they were preparing a Royal Rumble win and WrestleMania main event for him. That was the last thing Punk truly wanted in terms of career goals. Then they got Batista to return for a bit and gave him that spot. Punk was instead prepared for a WrestleMania match with Triple H, which Triple H insisted was just as good and important. At the 2014 Royal Rumble, Punk got concussed early on and spent the whole match in a haze before being pulled out of the ring by Kane and being chokeslammed through a table.

The day after, as they were getting ready to start the Road to WrestleMania, Punk was fed up and walked out. He had a meeting with Vince and Triple H where he chewed them out for all sorts of things before leaving. Then they proceeded to send him his walking papers on the day of his wedding. It’s one of those situations where you can see it as petty, because it is, but you can’t really be mad because you loving walked, dude.

Punk walked out of this looking like a legend. WWE felt broken and he was the one causing a stink, so he seemed like this awesome guy who spoke truth to the idiots in charge and was so tired from their bullshit that he walked. But separate from that, Punk did have his issues. He had a paranoia to him where he saw insults out of whole cloth and would cut people out of his life for it. He always felt like people were using him. Kofi Kingston was one of his closest friends in the business and he has no idea why Punk no longer wanted anything to do with him. Hornswoggle once got a new phone and asked Punk for someone’s number and Punk figured Swoggle was trying to take advantage of him. They never spoke again.

When Chris Jericho texted to check up on him, Punk saw it as a guy with a podcast trying to get info on the hottest story and told him to gently caress off. If Punk was going to has his dirty laundry on a podcast, it was going to be with someone he trusted. So he went on Colt Cabana’s podcast.

Along with Ace Steel, Colt was one of Punk’s best friends and they had a long history in the wrestling business. Punk showed up on his podcast and discussed everything that went wrong with his WWE run. He made sure to discuss how incompetent the medical staff was in WWE, how Punk had a staph infection, and how he was literally making GBS threads himself in the ring.

WWE funded a lawsuit for the head of WWE’s medical staff against Punk and Colt. It was meant to drain them of money and it honestly did more damage than any of them would ever realize. While Punk’s side won, he and Colt had issues about the bill. Different sides have different stories, but the short of it is that Punk claimed that he was going to pay Colt’s legal bills, then refused. Then the two started suing each other.

Friendship over.

All Elite Wrestling started up in 2019 and a lot of fans wondered if this was something Punk might be interested in. Not only was it an alternative to wrestling fans, but for someone who once had a real passion for the business. As the story goes, Cody Rhodes and/or the Young Bucks texted Punk about his interest in the company. Cody would later claim that there was more to it, that they called him and someone even met him at a coffee shop, but Punk was offended at being asked in such a way as texting.

Regardless, Punk was in contact with the company’s owner Tony Khan.

And so, in 2019, CM Punk would make his return to wrestling...by making appearances on a D-list WWE show that nobody watched. Apparently, Fox paid him a shitload of money to do that.

As this was going on, AEW signed Colt Cabana. He was a midcarder who was brought into the Dark Order stable. Whatever story they were building with him screeched to a halt when group leader Brodie Lee died.

Punk was not a fan of what he saw in WWE, but was really liking AEW. What he especially liked was how when Brodie Lee spent several months in ailing health, nobody in the company leaked info of it to the press. That meant a lot to him. He also mentioned on Twitter which talents he would want to face if given the chance. They were mainly the young up-and-comers, but he did say that his dream match was him and Bryan Danielson vs. the Young Bucks.

He talked about a comeback with Tony Khan, but it was agreed that they would wait until after COVID calmed down and they could go back to having full crowds. What’s the point of bringing Punk back if there’s not as many people there to celebrate it?

With summer coming to an end in 2021, the word was that CM Punk was definitely on his way to AEW. Fox executives were pissed at WWE for not signing Punk, even offering to use their money, but Vince was not interested. AEW was starting up their new Friday show Rampage and Tony Khan announced that the second episode would take place in Chicago for a show called “The First Dance.”

In a pre-taped segment, Darby Allin claimed that he would be there and said he would take on anyone, even if they were “the best in the world.” It was very obvious what the Chicago Rampage would be about, but they made sure to keep it anything but official.

Very good summary, just a few quick notes/bits of trivia:

-The person in question whose number Hornswoggle asked Punk for, was Paramore singer Hayley Williams. From what I gather they were mutual friends of hers, but either Punk didn't know that, or else he thought Swoggle was just trying to get in her pants via him, or some such thing like that.

-During his appearance on Colt's podcast, Punk claimed that near the end of his WWE run, he had a very large sore above his butt, that was growing and growing and making him sicker and sicker, and that the WWE in-house doctor just kept prescribing him antibiotics for it (because they didn't want to take him off the road). He said that when he finally went to a non-WWE doctor about it, the doctor literally gasped and said that it was the absolute worst case of MRSA he'd ever seen, and Punk needed to be treated immediately. Said treatment basically being to cut the sore open and drain it, a process which Punk described as sheer agony with blood and pus just shooting out all over the place. However, when the doctor gave testimony during the WWE's doctor's lawsuit against Punk and Colt, he basically said "it wasn't that big of a deal, I've seen many such cases like his, it was a simple outpatient procedure and I don't recall him being in any noticeable discomfort during it."

-As "proof" Punk was lying about the sore above his butt, WWE posted a video, slowed down at points, of shots where Punk was bending over or had his backside to the camera. with no sore apparently visible. It was very surreal, like watching the Zapruder film. IIRC, it's still up on their site somewhere.

-One of the things that led to the end of Punk and Colt's friendship was, during the WWE doctor's lawsuit against them, Colt went backstage at a WWE show. It's been said that he was just visiting friends he knew when they came to town, but Punk absolutely freaked out and apparently thought Colt was trying to do a deal to get out of his half of the lawsuit, and that's what basically kicked off the ending of their friendship.

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


Sydney Bottocks posted:

Very good summary, just a few quick notes/bits of trivia:

-The person in question whose number Hornswoggle asked Punk for, was Paramore singer Hayley Williams. From what I gather they were mutual friends of hers, but either Punk didn't know that, or else he thought Swoggle was just trying to get in her pants via him, or some such thing like that.

-During his appearance on Colt's podcast, Punk claimed that near the end of his WWE run, he had a very large sore above his butt, that was growing and growing and making him sicker and sicker, and that the WWE in-house doctor just kept prescribing him antibiotics for it (because they didn't want to take him off the road). He said that when he finally went to a non-WWE doctor about it, the doctor literally gasped and said that it was the absolute worst case of MRSA he'd ever seen, and Punk needed to be treated immediately. Said treatment basically being to cut the sore open and drain it, a process which Punk described as sheer agony with blood and pus just shooting out all over the place. However, when the doctor gave testimony during the WWE's doctor's lawsuit against Punk and Colt, he basically said "it wasn't that big of a deal, I've seen many such cases like his, it was a simple outpatient procedure and I don't recall him being in any noticeable discomfort during it."

-As "proof" Punk was lying about the sore above his butt, WWE posted a video, slowed down at points, of shots where Punk was bending over or had his backside to the camera. with no sore apparently visible. It was very surreal, like watching the Zapruder film. IIRC, it's still up on their site somewhere.

-One of the things that led to the end of Punk and Colt's friendship was, during the WWE doctor's lawsuit against them, Colt went backstage at a WWE show. It's been said that he was just visiting friends he knew when they came to town, but Punk absolutely freaked out and apparently thought Colt was trying to do a deal to get out of his half of the lawsuit, and that's what basically kicked off the ending of their friendship.

I have learned way more about CM Punk’s rear end tonight than I thought I ever would in my lifetime.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012

Cartoon Man posted:

I have learned way more about CM Punk’s rear end tonight than I thought I ever would in my lifetime.

His rear end in a top hat, otoh, he shows off to everyone.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Man. So this has been a pretty major week for AEW. Last Sunday was All In, the Wembley show and tonight was All Out in Chicago. People were hoping that by this point AEW PPVs would be on MAX or that there would be some kind of cost-saving bundle. Nope. It was two fully-priced PPVs back to back. On top of that, All Out did not have the most hyped up card going into it.

Then the CM Punk stuff happened, not only overshadowing stuff, but also potentially turning this Chicago PPV into a hornets' nest.

Somehow they loving knocked it out of the park and gave us a ridiculous show. Good on them.

The best was that we were originally going to be getting CM Punk vs. Ricky Starks in a strap match. Instead, they randomly announced the night before that Bryan Danielson was taking his place. In this last-minute replacement, they had a completely deranged and amazing match.

Elephant Ambush
Nov 13, 2012

...We sholde spenden more time together. What sayest thou?
Nap Ghost
That was the best wrestling PPV this year and there's been a lot of good competition

If you haven't checked out AEW yet, now is the time to do so

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.
The best revenge is living well, and AEW has proven to be really good at revengening.

CM Punk will probably go back to WWE someday out of sheer spite, and WWE will take him out of sheer spite. Neither party really knowing whe the spite is directed at.

InsensitiveSeaBass
Apr 1, 2008

You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter The Scary Door.
Nap Ghost

Gavok posted:

Japan doesn’t exist.

I still remember when WWE's website had a tour picture of Jeff Hardy with a "Japanese Fan."

Hiroshi Tanahashi

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

I knew the whole rear end boil story was bullshit because you can't just look at a boil and declare it MRSA, you need labs, and if it was MRSA his entire rear end would have rotted off and he'd be dead of septic shock if he went that long without treating it.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
aew's wrestlers are making a tradition of pulling the company's rear end out of the fire

mox has stepped up like four times in the last two years to fill in for punk's delinquent rear end, and on dynamite last week orange cassidy and penta took the impossibly piddling little one-week build between pay-per-views and made it something to care about

it's amazing what having a locker room full of world class talent whose attitude in the face of company-wide uncertainty is just to step the gently caress up and go out and put on a hell of a show can do for a company. seriously.

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

I think AEW is dumb but CM Punk might be more dumb.

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


I think AEW is cool as hell and CM Punk is just a stupid baby. And as we all learn from that one episode of The Simpsons, stupid babies need the most attention. Maybe if people are just paid attention to him instead of the many more compelling talents, things would have worked out.

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014

Defiance Industries posted:

I think AEW is cool as hell and CM Punk is just a stupid baby. And as we all learn from that one episode of The Simpsons, stupid babies need the most attention. Maybe if people are just paid attention to him instead of the many more compelling talents, things would have worked out.

he needed two shows just for him one wasnt enough

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

I thought CM Punk was still a huge draw which is why they kept him around. Outside of the first PPV they did, I never watched AEW much, but I did tune in for his debut. Then I actually bought that first Punk PPV but AEW couldn't hold my interest. I remember he seemed out of shape and sloppy.

Nevertheless, CM Punk did cause me to buy an AEW PPV and I was in the thread when people were posting about and at the time they were excited about it and it seemed cool. RIP CM Punk. He probably made up the whole story about getting Ryback to admit he was stupid too. I don't know why my thoughts go to "Ryback is vindicated" because he's a huge dipshit selling dick pills last I checked, but this is where CM Punk has taken me.

Mulaney Power Move fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Sep 4, 2023

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
There is video of a referee picking up CM Punk’s turds in the middle of a match with his bare hands and throwing them out of the ring.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Grendels Dad posted:

The best revenge is living well, and AEW has proven to be really good at revengening.

CM Punk will probably go back to WWE someday out of sheer spite, and WWE will take him out of sheer spite. Neither party really knowing whe the spite is directed at.

That would be incredible. And they do need someone fresh to job to Reigns :haw:

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004

Pope Corky the IX posted:

There is video of a referee picking up CM Punk’s turds in the middle of a match with his bare hands and throwing them out of the ring.

Yeah, IIRC Punk claimed that the antibiotics the WWE doctor prescribed him for his :airquote:MRSA:airquote: were making him poo poo himself.

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


Mulaney Power Move posted:

I thought CM Punk was still a huge draw which is why they kept him around. Outside of the first PPV they did, I never watched AEW much, but I did tune in for his debut. Then I actually bought that first Punk PPV but AEW couldn't hold my interest. I remember he seemed out of shape and sloppy.

Nevertheless, CM Punk did cause me to buy an AEW PPV and I was in the thread when people were posting about and at the time they were excited about it and it seemed cool. RIP CM Punk. He probably made up the whole story about getting Ryback to admit he was stupid too. I don't know why my thoughts go to "Ryback is vindicated" because he's a huge dipshit selling dick pills last I checked, but this is where CM Punk has taken me.

He was at first, but MJF now moves ratings much more than he does. Probably because, like you said, they've kind of realized he's out of shape and sloppy.

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
give danhausen the belt

Remulak
Jun 8, 2001
I can't count to four.
Yams Fan
I tuned into wresting again after CM came back.

I lost interest, like I always do, but it got my attention for a while.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Two Years of Punk: Part 1

CM Punk’s time in AEW can be split into three segments. It would be easy to call it “the good, the bad, and the ugly,” but it was more “the good, the awkward, and the garbage fire.” But man, those initial nine months or so really were some good poo poo.

The second AEW Rampage started up with “Cult of Personality” playing. The place went apeshit as CM Punk came out and celebrated with fans. He cut a promo about returning to pro wrestling. The image of a fan in the crowd crying became viral. It was an awesome segment that got Rampage what would be its highest rating by far, especially since it became an afterthought show down the line.

Also, Punk was being watched by Darby Allin and Sting in the rafters. Punk accepted Darby’s challenge. Punk’s return match would take place at All Out 2021, several weeks later. All Out was a major show that really made AEW seem huge. Not only was it Punk’s first match, but the show ended with Adam Cole and Bryan Danielson showing up. It really made AEW look like the cool alternative, especially with WWE getting worse and worse at the time.

For months and months, Punk would just come out to cut lengthy promos and talk about how he was happy and the fans were happy. He would joke that one day people were going to be sick of his poo poo, so enjoy the moment now. It was almost like he was saying that he was going to have a killer heel run down the line, but his warnings would be more real than he intended.

It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, though. With Cody Rhodes’ contract coming up, he was hoping for a big extension or re-signing or whatever. As Cody had booked himself into an unlikeable mess, Tony Khan did not see him as being worth a CM Punk-level contract. In his final days in the company, Cody cut a promo that was all over the place, but definitely had a moment of calling out Punk. Anyway, Cody was gone and went back to WWE.

As all of this was going on, AEW was reaching the climax to their big years-long storyline where Hangman Adam Page was getting over his alcoholism and self-doubt so that he could rise up and defeat his former tag partner Kenny Omega for the AEW World Championship. Hangman was helped by the Dark Order, who went from evil cult to treehouse of goofballs. Reminder that Colt Cabana was in their ranks. For a time.

Punk started feuding with Team Taz, Taz’s crew made up of Powerhouse Hobbs, Ricky Starks, and Hook. Hook, Taz’s son, was more of an intriguing, quiet background guy as he hadn’t made his debut and was not going to for a little while. Still, we got a great moment when Punk was saying he’d face anyone in Team Taz, then dramatically suggesting, “Send Hook.”

Punk ended up facing Hobbs and won, but he then continued just having matches against random guys on the roster. He was happy to just be acting as the veteran to the younger crew. Though there was one guy he faced who was not so young and their match was minorly controversial.

Bobby Fish was a middle-aged guy who was talented in the ring, but a dime-a-dozen generic white dude when AEW hired him. He was mainly around because he was once in an NXT stable with Adam Cole and Tony Khan was trying to rebuild it in AEW. Anyway, despite being a midcarder, Fish had a match with Punk where he kicked out of Punk’s Go to Sleep finish an instant after the three count. It made it look like Fish was trying to go into business for himself. Fish later insisted Punk gave him the signal to do it*, but also acted like he did it out of disrespect for Punk’s bad form in terms of striking.

*Either way, he claimed using wrestling lingo, “Punk gave me the iggy, also known as the office,” which has become a meme on Punch Sport Pagoda.

Punk moved on to his next big feud, which was against Eddie Kingston. Eddie is a passionate brawler from the indies who... actually, just watch this 30 Rock clip. This is what an Eddie Kingston promo is like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sycfsbu0sys

In the story, Eddie had issues with Punk being a piece of poo poo backstage when they were in the indies. It should be noted, that Eddie okayed this talk ahead of time. The two had a good PPV match and Punk won.

Next up was the big one. The one people widely consider to be the, or one of the, best feuds in AEW history. Punk focused on MJF, the shithead young star-in-the-making who had a talent for running people down verbally and going well over the line. At the time, MJF was the head of his own stable called the Pinnacle, along with his heavy Wardlow, the tag team FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler), and chair-obsessed henchman Shawn Spears. There was also a little bit of history in there as there was a photo of a very young MJF having his picture taken with Punk from many years ago that came into play.

Punk took part in several matches against FTR, which would prove notable because Dax and Cash would be known as two of his best friends backstage. He also faced Wardlow, which was kind of a big deal at the time. Wardlow was in the middle of a slow-burn story where MJF was getting increasingly controlling and threatened because of Wardlow’s success. He had Wardlow powerbomb Punk into oblivion, but was afraid of having Wardlow be Punk’s first loss in AEW. So he just kept telling Wardlow to powerbomb Punk. Eventually, as Punk had just a little bit of strength left in him and he was 100% certain what move Wardlow was bout to do, Punk was able to roll him up for a pin as his Hail Mary.

Punk and MJF had a match in Chicago and MJF got the win due to cheating. They restarted the match and he simply won by cheating in another way. MJF would brag about how he beat Punk twice in one night in Punk's hometown.

Punk would earn a rematch and, through a wonderful promo, would insist upon it being a Dog Collar Match. A week later, an affected MJF came out to talk up his villain origin story. How he dealt with learning disabilities and antisemitism in school, but he looked up to Punk as a hero to get him through these hard times. Then when Punk left WWE, it shattered MJF. MJF got real emotional and when he was done, Punk ran out to talk to him. There was no microphone in hand, but a shaken and somewhat guilty Punk asked him, “Is this true?”

The following week, MJF came out in a t-shirt of the aforementioned photo of his child self with Punk. As Punk tried to act apologetic for having some role in MJF ending up a shitbag, it ended up being a trap as MJF kicked him in the balls and brutalized him. As he got Punk’s blood all over him, AEW started selling t-shirts of the MJF/Punk photo splattered with blood.

The Dog Collar Match was a blood-soaked classic, ending with Wardlow coming out to seemingly give MJF his diamond-encrusted ring (his go-to cheat move), but betraying him and giving it to Punk. Punk won the match, won the feud, and things shifted to MJF vs. Wardlow.

At the same PPV, there was a match between Bryan Danielson and Jon Moxley. Moxley won via a fluke pin and as the two were about to have at it again, William Regal showed up to put an end to it. Regal had played mentor to the two of them throughout the years and had recently been fired from WWE, as Vince McMahon and Nick Khan were in the midst of getting rid of everyone loyal to Triple H. Getting Regal in AEW to manage Danielson and Moxley was seen as a welcome concept.

Backstage, Punk, flanked by FTR, got in Regal’s face and refused to shake his hand. He called him out on the spot as being Triple H’s stooge. Time would suggest Punk was right about this, but it was still pretty much an intense and hosed up way to welcome the latest signing.

But hey, things were going great with Punk otherwise! He seemed to be in great spirits. After PPVs, he would hang out with Tony Khan on the media scrums and the two had great morale together. He was the company’s biggest name.

It was time for him to challenge for the AEW World Championship. All the dominos were set up and it was time to knock it all down.

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

give danhausen the belt

this is not an emptyquote

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
Look in my eyes
What do you see
I do poo poo like this constantly

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013

Gavok posted:

Backstage, Punk, flanked by FTR, got in Regal’s face and refused to shake his hand. He called him out on the spot as being Triple H’s stooge. Time would suggest Punk was right about this, but it was still pretty much an intense and hosed up way to welcome the latest signing.

lol did not know about this what a prick

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
lol at being angry at william regal

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!

Sydney Bottocks posted:

-One of the things that led to the end of Punk and Colt's friendship was, during the WWE doctor's lawsuit against them, Colt went backstage at a WWE show. It's been said that he was just visiting friends he knew when they came to town, but Punk absolutely freaked out and apparently thought Colt was trying to do a deal to get out of his half of the lawsuit, and that's what basically kicked off the ending of their friendship.

Then it turned out that he wasn't even at the backstage and was just having a pizza with his WWE friends.
https://wrestlingnews.co/aew-news/the-rift-between-cm-punk-and-colt-cabana-started-over-cabana-getting-pizza-with-wwe-stars

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
then years later punk went to a wwe show and had to be escorted out because he was being weird and making people uncomfortable backstage

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Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Two Years of Punk: Part 2

When Punk came into AEW and everything felt so positive, there were some who felt that maybe he and Colt Cabana could bury the hatchet and move forward. That did not happen, but the two did stay out of each other’s way.

Colt did start wrestling in AEW considerably less. He’s the one member of the Dark Order who just kind of stopped being a member. While the group eventually had gone from a ton of members to just three guys and a child, everyone was at least written out. Colt just vanished. Tony Khan did not want to keep him on the roster, but since he had just bought Ring of Honor as a secondary promotion, the Young Bucks were able to convince him to at least let Colt be in ROH.

The backstage story wrote itself. Colt was fading away while Punk was becoming more prominent. Whether this was Punk’s doing or Tony Khan figured it was best for everyone if Colt was out of the picture, logic said that Colt was out because Punk was in. That leads to resentment on both sides. Colt’s friends feel that Punk is responsible and Punk is bitter that he’s getting blamed for something he didn’t do.

Punk was announced as #1 contender for AEW's World Championship. For the past few months, Hangman Page was the champion and he was doing all right for himself. He had a fantastic couple of matches with Bryan Danielson, a sweet Texas Death Match with Lance Archer, and a decent couple of matches with Adam Cole. It was the man people considered the protagonist of AEW vs. AEW’s biggest star.

There wasn’t much meat on the bone for the rivalry going into their PPV match. They were both faces and Hangman seemed to be antagonistic towards Punk for some reason. Some were wondering if they were going to address the elephant in the room.

It later got out that Punk was supposedly annoyed with Hangman because he offered him some advice and Hangman said thanks, but no thanks, as he wanted to make his own mistakes and learn that way. Punk, who was trying to be the big locker room leader in AEW and beloved mentor, was rubbed the wrong way by this.

On the go-home show, as the two were face-to-face in the ring, Hangman cut a promo where he threw in a line about Punk claiming he stands up for worker’s rights (which he had recently done on Twitter), but acting differently. It was a vague, roundabout way of saying, “I blame you for Colt not being here.” It sailed over most everyone’s heads. It did not get much of a response from the crowd. But unlike Eddie Kingston and MJF’s barbs about Punk being a backstage dick, Hangman did not clear this with Punk ahead of time. Punk was legitimately furious.

So furious that, as he would later admit months later, he was strongly considering backing out of the Double or Nothing PPV completely.

Someone else thinking of no-showing Double or Nothing was MJF. He no-showed a VIP signing event and there was talk that he was so annoyed with his contract and how things were going that he was going to get on a plane and go home. Whether he showed up at the PPV to have his match with Wardlow was up in the air. He did show up to get squashed by Wardlow in the opening match, but then left the arena and many felt that he kind of hosed up Wardlow’s big night by making it all about him.

The main event was Punk vs. Hangman. Hangman was chopping Punk and accidentally hit him in the face at one point. Punk got in his own head about whether that was on purpose and would later claim that it screwed up his performance. Then again, he did try to do Hangman’s finisher, the Buckshot Lariat, a couple times and completely ate poo poo for both. Punk won the match and the title.

On the next episode of Dynamite, MJF came out to vent his frustrations. If there was any real beef between him and Tony Khan, this was them turning it into a storyline. Red in the face, MJF called Tony a loving mark and stormed off. After the cameras turned off for a commercial, people in attendance saw Punk come out to talk to MJF about it, suggesting that their feud was long from over.

They were a month away from the NJPW crossover PPV Forbidden Door and Punk announced on that Dynamite that he wanted a match against Hiroshi Tanahashi. Then he and FTR had a trios match against Max Caster and the Gunn Club. At one point in all of this, he decided to celebrate with the fans by jumping over the guardrail and diving into them.

In doing so, Punk broke his foot.

The following Rampage, filmed live, had Punk come out to announce the injury. Tony Khan did not want him to drop the title, so he would remain champion and there would be a small tournament culminating at Forbidden Door to crown an Interim Champion. Even though one of the matches was a battle royal, it was notable that Hangman Page was in no way part of this tournament. Almost like he was being shoved out of the title picture completely.

Jon Moxley defeated Tanahashi in the main event of Forbidden Door to become the Interim Champion. He proceeded to have a hell of a run with the belt, having a wonderful string of matches. At the same time, he was getting increasingly annoyed at the “Interim” part of this. It felt like an insult when he was defending it nonstop, and the true champion was at home hurt.

With All Out 2022 on its way, they really needed a big main event and they needed to put this Interim stuff to rest. While Punk was not 100%, they had him come back so they could build up a unification match with Moxley within a few weeks. Especially since All Out was in Chicago.

While Punk was healing best he could in those months off, one thing was apparent: Hangman’s promo stewed inside him. Punk was genuinely furious at Hangman for daring suggest he had something to do with Colt Cabana’s situation.

Punk returned and the first thing he did was offer an impromptu title match to Hangman. Hangman did not come out to respond. Why? Because this was not part of the script! Punk called him a coward and claimed that the apology should be as loud as the disrespect. He did this purely as a way to make Hangman look like poo poo.

Publicly, this was when the cracks were starting to show.

Anyway, Punk vs. Moxley for All Out. The way they went about this was unorthodox, but worked well enough.

Punk came back and he and Mox pissed each other off with their promos so much that they started brawling with each other throughout the night. It was decided that they would not wait for All Out. They would do the title unification match on the following Dynamite. The match went about a minute and a half as Punk kayfabe hurt his leg early on and Mox just steamrolled him by spamming finishers.

The following week, Moxley said he would leave an open contract in the ring for whoever wanted to face him at the PPV. Punk’s friend and company producer Ace Steel came out, took the contract, and later convinced Punk to sign it. Punk acted completely reborn as he hyped himself up for that Sunday’s show.

Oh, but there was another thing that happened that night. A fan in the audience did a one-man chant for Colt Cabana. Punk took a second from his promo to single this guy out and call him a fat virgin. This guy definitely got under Punk’s skin for real and would be the tip of the iceberg for what the next few days had in store. Some joke that this guy was the unknowingly the straw that broke the camel's back.

At All Out, they did a Casino Ladder Match where the last entrant was a man in a devil mask who had a stable of midcard heels clear the ring so he could climb the ladder unchallenged. By winning, he became #1 contender. He chose not to unmask just yet.

Punk defeated Moxley in the main event. In the match, Punk tore his pectoral from doing a dive to the outside. After winning, as Punk stood tall and covered in blood, the Devil guy reappeared. He unmasked to reveal MJF. The Chicago crowd was pumped for MJF's return to the point that it overshadowed Punk’s win. In Chicago.

Having his hometown look past him while knowing he was injured and being so frustrated with so many things, Punk decided he was going to go out with a bang.

At the post-show scrum, Punk arrived, covered in dry blood, eyes bulging, and eating a muffin. Due to some production issue, the audio was pitched lower, so things came off as more surreal than they already were. Sitting next to Tony Khan, Punk started by accusing one of the Q&A people of doing improv with Colt Cabana. This got him started as he started talking about what kind of guy Colt is, like how he... uh... shares a bank account with his mother. More importantly, that Punk and Colt haven’t talked in years.

He continued, calling Hangman an empty-headed gently caress who refuses to take the advice of his elders. He blamed the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega for the Colt rumors and claimed they couldn’t manage a Target. He referred to MJF as a prick and it probably wasn’t a kayfabe thing. Summing it up, he claimed that, “I’m hurt, I’m old, I’m tired, and I work with loving children.” If anyone had an issue with him, he invited them to find his dressing room.

All the while, Tony Khan had the biggest “uh what?” look on his face.

Omega and the Bucks were supposed to show up at the scrum as they just won a tournament to crown the first AEW Trios Champions, but they were angry about Punk and refused. Being that they were EVPs, they wanted to confront him over his behavior, but they didn’t want to do it guns blazing. Not wanting things to get out of hand, they got the head of legal to accompany them as they went to knock on Punk’s dressing room door.

As the media scrum continued, a security guard or two was seen running in the background. Tony Khan was then informed that poo poo was going down.

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