Barudak posted:

Time for a classic middle eastern joke:

A man asks his neighbor for a pot for dinner party he is hosting and the neighbor provides it. After the party the man returns the pot to the neighbor, along with a much smaller one. What is this, asks the neighbor. The man says, oh, your pot was pregnant and gave birth so it was only right to give you both pots back. The neighbor agrees with the man and takes both.

A week later the man asks his neighbor again for a pot, but this time much bigger and grander as he has guests coming over. The neighbor immediately agrees. After the party the neighbor immediately begins asking for his pot back and if it was pregnant too. The man says through tears, I cannot give it back, your pot died. What says the neighbor, pots can't die! I want my pot back! The man replies, how innocent you are, but all things that can give birth will die some day, and returns home.

Tired Moritz posted:

Too scared to ask I don't get the joke

kimbo305 posted:

Someone honk cuz this is a Wendy’s drive thru.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Been honking to the rhythm of Dragula the entire time

Piell posted:

AITA for honking my horn to the beat when I listen to music in my car.

quote:

I 25M love listening to music in my car. I often honk my cars horn to the beat as I drive. I have been doing this for about 6 years. My friends and past girlfriends absolutely hate this. As do my neighbors. They complain that they know when I’m home because of my horning. Recently I was asked to stop playing my horn to my music when in the parking lot. To me I only do this during break. I roll up my windows crank up my tunes sing my heart out and play the horn. My coworkers went to HR and said I could be heard inside during break “I doubt this” anyway I was wondering AITA for playing the horn to the beat of the music.

Evil Willow posted:

Tired Moritz posted:

Too scared to ask I don't get the joke

Cloacamazing! posted:

...What did they think was going to happen? Was the door magically going to unlock itself?

Tired Moritz posted:

Too scared to ask I don't get the joke

quote:

My (32f) boyfriend (34m) said recently that an idea I had for storing my friends mattress at our house is a “girl plan”.

I asked, “what’s a girl plan?”

He said that a girl plan is a plan based on emotion, not logic. Boy plans, on the other hand, are based in reason and logic.

I told him that he was being sexist, and he disagreed.

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

quote:

NTA because it's the truth.

Tell him that choosing to date him was a girl plan. Dumping him right now is the boy plan. Bye 👋

Midnight Voyager posted:

She's just asking so she can turn them down if she doesn't deem the trip important enough. And because she really apparently wants to do endless banal smalltalk with a captive audience, to the point where she wants them to LIE if it's not something they want to talk about.

quote:

I got out of a lovely relationship with my ex. It was a nightmare of a divorce and I got the blame even though the kids know he cheated on me. I got the blame since I asked for the divorce. This happens when our oldest was 15 let’s call him Eric. He was a nightmare at the time. He bullied his younger sibling, I had to drag him to therapy were he refused to talk. We tried people he picked but it was a nightmare. He wanted to live with my ex but he didn’t want him to live with him.

When he went to college I had hope that him spreading his wings will help him since nothing I did worked. It did not, he basically pretended no one existed unless he needed cash. My breaking point with him was he was 21 and I gave him a text asking if he will make it for Christmas. He told me, to beg him to come and he will consider it. I refused, gave an invite and he didn’t show. I kept giving him invites to family events but stopped this year. He is now 25. My two daughter are official no contact with him this year.

We are in contact, but it’s rare we talk. He called yesterday asking if I could talk to his sisters and convince them to met up with him. I told him to leave them alone but he kept going. After I while of him not taking my no for an answer I told him why don’t you beg and I will consider it. He got pissed called me a jerk and hung up.

Maybe I went too far with him but it’s so hard to tell so I came for an outside opinion.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling my son why don’t you beg.

quote:

I (22F) have a sister (26F) who is going away this weekend with her husband (40M) for a little getaway, which will be their first time since having their son (1M). My other sister (24F) lives with the oldest sister but has a range of special needs and will be staying with my BIL's parents, who live next door to them. This will be my first time looking after my nephew on his own. We've tried with his mum in a different room in the past, but he cries for his mother, which is understandable.

I was getting back to the point! My sister came round today with my nephew to stay around for two hours or so to have a bit of a break from their house, and my sister saw my next-door neighbours. My sister spoke to my neighbour and said she and her husband are going away for the weekend, so my nephew will come around and stay here for the weekend, and it is the first time without his parents. My neighbour, who has three kids and a husband herself, mentioned she's also going away this weekend as she's going to see a friend and looking for a babysitter.

My sister dared to tell my neighbours that her kids could stay next door with me as I babysat my nephew anyway. Here's the thing! My neighbour's husband is home, and he has the weekend off, and they're his kids.

When I found out my sister said the neighbour's kids were coming round, I said they were not; I only agreed to babysit my nephew. My sister thinks I'm being harsh and selfish because I don't like kids, and I don't want any of my own, and she thinks that's why I'm being nasty about not babysitting my next-door neighbour's kids. However, if next door asked me, it would still be a no because the dad is home.

AITA?

quote:

My ex and I were engaged but broke it off early into her pregnancy. We had a lot of issues, but our breakup was precipitated by her catching me sexting people behind her back and a couple of flings. Overall, we have kept it amicable through her pregnancy but I definitely wouldn't call us friends.

I called to check on her since she is due within the next month and asked what the plan for delivery was. I guess I assumed I would be in the room when the baby is being born. She told me due to COVID precautions she is only allowed one person with her while she is in the hospital and she's going to have her best friend with her-that I could meet the baby once she gets home. I got angry and told her it was petty and vindictive to not allow me in the room to witness our child's birth. She snapped back and told me she needs someone who brings her comfort and she can be vulnerable with and that's not me. AITA for calling her petty in this situation?

Edit to add: Since these have been questioned in the comments -I cheated on her. Yes some of it was before she was pregnant, she broke it off cause she caught me sexting when we were laying in bed one night and then found all the other stuff -We ended on the note we would try to be friends for the baby. We were going to try to go to counseling and see if we could fix things and work it out for the baby but then she caught me in a lie (not cheating again but related to lying trying to minimize her hurt due to what I'd done) and she cut me off completely other than giving me updates after each appointment and inviting me to a 3D ultrasound. It's been entirely her choice to not be friends. -Her best friend hasn't even been around for her pregnancy since she's been traveling for work. She's only coming back now to help with labor and recovery then leaving again. -Last, part of why I feel it's pettiness motivating her choices is cause she is using COVID as a reason to keep my family from meeting the baby. She told me she thinks only my parents should meet her until she gets a bit older, and wants them to wear masks. But she's still working as a nurse getting exposed to COVID DAILY so how is it really that much of a concern to her. I feel like it's about control over the baby.

quote:

My ex and I broke up early in her pregnancy, we've remained somewhat amicable, we had a couple fights about me not being in the delivery room but have been ok since. She had our baby about 4 weeks ago, and I told her to keep me updated on any hospital bills she might get because I would pay half.

I was visiting the baby and my ex brought out the bills, typical stuff, the baby's pediatrician and her delivery, after insurance it was going to cost us about $1000 each. Then she pulled out a bill for an anesthesiologist and when I asked what that was about, since she didn't have a c-section she said it was for her epidural during labor. I kind of chuckled and told her she was on her own for that bill (which was $900 on its own, almost the cost of everything else). She asked me if I was being serious and I confirmed I wouldn't pay that portion, that is was her choice to get an epidural, it wasn't essential to her safely delivering the baby and plenty of women have given birth without one. She told me I was being ridiculous and that "if you could feel how being in labor felt you wouldn't be questioning getting pain relief at all". She stayed pretty silent and cold with me until I left.

I talked to my Mom after the fact and she thinks I'm in the right, she had me and my siblings without anything. I think I might be the rear end in a top hat though because when I talked to my sister about it she said pain relief can make or break your experience. So, AITA for refusing to pay this additional expense?

quote:

My ex and I have a baby who is almost 3 months. I come and visit her at my ex's home for 3 hours at a time once or twice a week. I've been itching to get alone time with the baby so we can bond better, but she breastfeeds only, won't take a bottle and won't take formula. I've tried numerous times to get baby to eat the bottle so I can have visits at my place with her but she just screams. All through her pregnancy my ex said she might try breastfeeding but wasn't sure. Then covid got bad again and because of her job (she's a nurse) she freaked out and wanted baby to have antibodies since she's vaccinated and has also had covid before.

Right now the baby won't smile at me like she does for her Mom-in fact over the last few visits as soon as I hold her it's instant waterworks. My ex tries to stay out of our way or only come out of her room when the baby is hungry but that doesn't make any difference. Out of frustration I handed the baby back to my ex and raised my voice a bit, saying basically that our current arrangement isn't working and I want my visits with the baby at my place. My ex asked how that would even work since she won't eat from me and I said to her "we both know you only breastfed to keep me from her in the first place, she'll figure it out". Part of the frustration also comes from the fact that none of my family has met my child yet-my ex offered to host them in her home but my Mom is a homebody and won't drive there in addition to them living an hour away. My ex started crying after I said that and told me she refuses to let our baby starve for my "fragile ego" and I'll have to fight her in court, which she was trying to avoid for the sake of the baby.

Part of why I think I'm the rear end in a top hat is because if the baby truly won't eat for me she'll be miserable. But everyone in my family reassures me that if she gets hungry enough she'll eat, and I'm convinced my ex breastfed in the first place to make visitsharder for me. So AITA?

quote:

I have an infant child (almost 1) that I coparent with my ex, we went to a mediator rather than the courts to come up with our parenting plan. Our current arrangement is I take her for 4 hours 3 times a week. My ex has her the rest of the time. We went through mediation and agreed on no child support but that we would split 50/50 expenses for her. The issue came up when my ex asked for half her childcare expenses. Her sister watches the baby on the nights she works (shes a nurse and works 3 nights a week) and when she sleeps. I don't always take the baby when my ex is sleeping from working the night before. So for the last month I guess it came out to $200. I told my ex that I wouldn't pay it-she was responsible for paying for the child care when she has the baby. She got upset and told me it was in the parenting plan for 50/50 and that this month was higher because I worked all the days she worked and that it fluctuates based on when I'm able to take the baby.

I then got upset and told her that I'd take her for 50/50 and I wanted to know every penny she made, what she spent on my child with receipts unless she agreed to a set amount in writing for how much I'm actually obligated each month. When I called the mediator and demanded a change on our paperwork she acted shocked because of all we had agreed on previously, so I'm wondering if I'm an rear end in a top hat. I'm pissed because she's playing games with me and my kid.

TLDR baby mama wants half of childcare expenses even though I don't need childcare for my time with her

quote:

My ex and I have a toddler together. We haven't been together since before she was born and we split all expenses 50/50. My ex usually buys whatever the baby needs, shows me the items she got and the receipt and I'll send her my portion of it. Most of her clothes are from target or similar stores.

My ex often sends me pictures of my daughter since she has her more. I've noticed since she was born that she's got some super cute clothes sometimes, in really pretty prints that I've never seen before and werent part of what we purchased. If I repost the picture to my social media people always ask where her clothes are from. I asked my ex where they come from, and she said she buys some boutique type bamboo clothes that are like $40 an outfit. I asked her why the baby never comes over here with those clothes because I feel like the fact I split clothing costs is unfair since I don't have access to all her clothes. My ex said I've ruined countless clothes (because I don't baby her and put a Bib on, I let her be a kid) and she spends her own money on the clothing she likes for our daughter and I'm not entitled to clothes I haven't paid for. I told my ex she's being a bad parent by restricting clothing to only her home and our daughter will feel bad about it. My ex then said "if you want her to have the same clothes I get you're welcome to purchase them yourself"

TLDR- ex buys toddler expensive clothes, won't let me have those clothes any my house I only get the cheap stuff

Kurieg posted:

AITA for only babysitting my nephew and not my neighbours kids?

quote:

(throwaway, not sure if my family is on reddit)

I (f) recently celebrated my 18th birthday. As a birthday gift to myself, I changed my name. I always hated my name, it was awful and the reason I had only three friends throughout middle and high school.

My mom and dad always wanted a girl, so when I came after four boys, and my mom knew she wouldn't have any more kids, she gave me a name that was all her favorite girl names combined. Because it's no longer my name I think I can tell you what it was. 'Nuraileighlira' (nor-ay-ee-ley-li-rah), a mix of 'Noura', 'Leila', and 'Lyra', so I went by 'Nura'. Both this and the fact that I'm African-American meant that I was bullied tirelessly at school, and I grew to hate my mom for naming me this way, and my dad for not saying no to the ridiculous name. Despite me asking her since the age of about 8, mom has never let me change my name or introduce myself as anything else because it's 'unique' and 'beautiful' and I should be 'proud' to be different. By the time I was 16 I spent almost every weekend at my grandparents (dad's side), who also thought the name was questionable, just to get away from my mom.

So my 18th birthday was the last week of August. The past 2 weeks have been changing legal documents to my new name, one I have loved forever and if i wasn't claiming it, would definitely be going to a future child of mine. Yesterday I changed my email and social media to my new name, and my mom noticed. She texted me asking what I was doing, and I told her I was changing my name. I've been going by this name whenever I'm not around my mom for almost 6 years now anyway, so the only adjustment for my friends/grandparents is naming me in front of my parents.

My mom called me downstairs and blew up on me about how 'disrespectful I am' and how I 'don't understand how awful it was to not get to use those names' on more than one child. I told her I really didn't care, that now I'm an adult I can do what I want with my name and I'm going to change it. She started crying and telling me what an awful child I am, how I'm 'disregarding her feelings' and that she always thought it was a 'wonderful' name. I may be an AH for this next bit. I lost it, screamed at my mom that she's the reason I never had a social life, was depressed with an ED (I'm currently working through this with a therapist) for most of my teen life and was bullied so badly for my entire school career. I went upstairs and went to cool down with a book.

When I went to send a text back to my mom (wasn't too sure what the situation was like downstairs yet) I saw that she'd blocked my number. She's been ignoring me all of today, so that got me wondering, am I the AH here?

Hughlander posted:

It's so rare to see a journey where someone starts as a cheater and just keeps becoming a worse and worse human being. But hey at least his mommy agrees with him!

Kurieg posted:

Short and sweet
AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s being sexist?

The rest of the comments are trying to figure out how 'storing a mattress' is an unreasonably emotional plan

Hughlander posted:

AITA for calling my baby's mother petty for not letting me be in the delivery room?


I told my ex she's being a bad parent by restricting clothing to only her home and our daughter will feel bad about it.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Seeing as the kid is like one or two years old this should be taken as a giant red flag that he's going to start pissing in her ear as soon as she's old enough to understand.

wheatpuppy posted:

... at what age, precisely, does one begin to "understand" a parent urinating in your ear? 'Cause I am mid-40s and I don't think I am there yet.

Hughlander posted:

This is a bit longer than normal but you can just take it as an anthology series instead... OP makes some poor choices and main character assumptions...

AITA for calling my baby's mother petty for not letting me be in the delivery room?


AITA for refusing to cover part of my ex-fiance's hospital bills


AITA for telling my baby's mother she only breastfeeds to keep me from having visitation


AITA for refusing to pay half of childcare


Finally, the pièce de résistance...
Am I wrong for telling my ex that my daughter shouldn't have certain clothes restricted to her house?

Now the last needs a bit of explanation. Since he only has part-time custody and apparently never overnight, he owns zero baby clothes. And it's not his responsibility to buy any. Kid has a disaper blow out? Whoops guess that's how she's going home!

It's so rare to see a journey where someone starts as a cheater and just keeps becoming a worse and worse human being. But hey at least his mommy agrees with him!

wheatpuppy posted:

... at what age, precisely, does one begin to "understand" a parent urinating in your ear? 'Cause I am mid-40s and I don't think I am there yet.

Rat Patrol posted:

I once had a coworker interrupt my work to ask if they locked the door behind them, would it stay locked? Like... My sibling in Christ, that is the most testable hypothesis and no part of it needed my input

haveblue posted:

Everyone's horn should play La Cucaracha IMO