r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

small ghost posted:

That's why I wondered what the food was cos I can smash through a lot of calorie dense snack food over the course of a hike but the way OP worded it was really weird, like a full sit down dinner lol

idk about op but whenever i hike to the proposal spot in the woods i like to sit down and eat an entire grocery store rotissery chicken

# ? Sep 14, 2023 13:39

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# ? May 31, 2024 17:55

Ogma: Jun 6, 2003; Let the festivities commence!

blatman posted:

idk about op but whenever i hike to the proposal spot in the woods i like to sit down and eat an entire grocery store rotissery chicken

No utensils, just tearing in with both hands, fully embracing the sprezzatura del bosco.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 13:43

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

# ? Sep 14, 2023 13:50

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Ogma posted:

No utensils, just tearing in with both hands, fully embracing the sprezzatura del bosco.

No thanks, eating pasta after a whole rotisserie chicken is just too much for me.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 13:51

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

FERPA deez nutz

# ? Sep 14, 2023 13:55

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

small ghost posted:

That's why I wondered what the food was cos I can smash through a lot of calorie dense snack food over the course of a hike but the way OP worded it was really weird, like a full sit down dinner lol

I mean that sounds like the idea, have a nice big dinner to sit down and eat while enjoying the view. Sounds heavenly, if not interrupted by entitled weirdos.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 14:04

Donkringel: Apr 22, 2008

Pirate Radar posted:

Girlfriend says I can’t be seen with her or post pictures of her due to FERPA. Is this true?

That's not FERPA at all but I could actually see a poorly run HR department telling a naive college student some bogus rule and hand waving it away by blaming FERPA.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 14:44

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for shutting down my sister�s opinion about our baby name?

In unrelated news...

AITA for telling my half sister I won't name a baby after her?

quote:

My husband and I have three children together. Our youngest was born this summer. We have always named our kids after people by not using their direct name. Our oldest girl is Jamie after my brother James, our middle daughter is Cleo after my sister Chloe and our youngest son is Devon after my husband's best friend Devine. We spoke to each person we honored prior to finalizing the name. My siblings were so happy and my husband's best friend was over the moon. We also never publicly said oh we named them after these people. We would just announce the names and leave it there.

After my third child was born my half sister (12) asked me if I would name our next child after her. I told her I would not. She asked if I would name any child I have after her and my answer was the same, no.

She was upset about this. This angered my mom who said it was clear my kids were named after people and I shouldn't just honor two siblings and not honor all three. I replied that it should be mine and my husband's choice what we name our children and who we name them after. Mom said I looked my baby sister in the face and crushed her heart and soul and told her that she is not a real sibling and only full siblings are worthy of being honored. She said I had treated a child like poo poo and I should have offered to let her help pick a name or something to smooth things over. But instead I said no and acted like her feelings didn't matter.

My mom also had some things to say to my husband and he ignored her. He told me about it and I told her to keep my husband out of it.

She said I can take the role of sole rear end in a top hat. Though she said my siblings were close since they didn't care about our half sister feeling upset either, according to mom.

AITA?

Evil Willow posted:

I regret marrying my husband. I should have listened to my mother.

he’s telling me that his lawyers advised that the ex wife who hates me, should be allowed in our home to check out the house. i understand it’s because of co-parenting but i already feel so miserable as is. the ex wife literally told me that if i ever get pregnant with his child, i should remember my place and that i’ll never come before her and her kids.

Sorry honey, my "ex-wife" has ro move in with us now. I would rather she didn't but the courts and lawyers are tying my hands. Since we have to keep our marriage a secret I'll have to tell eveeryone you are a live in maid. That's fine, right? I promise I'll tell people about us eventually... probably... maybe...

# ? Sep 14, 2023 15:43

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

ApplesandOranges posted:

In unrelated news...

AITA for telling my half sister I won't name a baby after her?

Only posting it for top comment.

Okay but how hard is it to say "hmm haven't decided yet" to spare someone's feelings. Everyone says stuff like that instead of a brutal "no, never, not a chance, in your dreams, get real".

# ? Sep 14, 2023 16:04

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

Okay but how hard is it to say "hmm haven't decided yet" to spare someone's feelings. Everyone says stuff like that instead of a brutal "no, never, not a chance, in your dreams, get real".

OP isn't even pregnant, right? So this is a hypothetical conversation about a possible 4th and 5th+ future child? And they are all booked up on names already? I am amazed there are that many people in their lives who have performed life-saving heroics.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 16:20

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Sure, I'll name my baby after you...once you get a non-stupid name!!! :flipoff:

Eat it, butthole.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 16:25

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Sure, I'll name my baby after you

Would you like to hold Dumb rear end in a top hat?

# ? Sep 14, 2023 16:26

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

haveblue posted:

Sure, I'll name my baby after you

Would you like to hold Dumb rear end in a top hat?

lol

# ? Sep 14, 2023 16:27

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

Evil Willow posted:

I regret marrying my husband. I should have listened to my mother.

I�m pretty sure the OP isn�t even actually married, she just thinks she is. Like her �husband� had her sign a fake certificate at a ceremony with his golf buds as witnesses and Judge His Best Friend Wearing A Fake Mustache.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 16:30

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

We did it, it's a thread miracle!

I (36f) am dating a new guy (38m) but his hygiene is lacking. How do I tell him without hurting his feelings?

quote:

I just separated from my husband after years of a dead bedroom. I reconnected with an ex from my first year of college and he is sweet, kind, and VERY sexually attentive, which is refreshing. I should be happy, but he smells so badly.

We just took a week-long trip together (we live in different places for now). I noticed that his breath was bad enough that it made kissing him unpleasant unless it was in the tiny window after brushing his teeth but before breakfast, or right at bedtime, when unfortunately the other issue of his body odor was at his worst. I tried offering him mints and gum as the days went, which he'd accept maybe 1/3rd of the time. I brush my teeth or at least use mouthwash after every meal and made a point of doing so around him but he occasionally would only brush his teeth once a day. He also revealed that he hadn't been to a dentist in years despite having good dental coverage and I am sure something is wrong here. He wondered why I wasn't enjoying kissing him and apart from a moment when we had just eaten a garlic-heavy meal, I was too anxious to tell him that he just has awful breath.

Beyond the breath, he has awful body odor. On the first day I thought he just was sweaty from traveling, but I realized after watching him dress in the morning that he doesn't wear deodorant. Additionally, we'd do sweaty activities all day together and he wouldn't shower at bedtime (I would, he would just shower once in the morning), and at this point I'd be holding my breath during sex. I also made a point of trying to invite him into the shower with me (while he was trying to discourage me from showering more than once so we could just have sex already) and told him that I'm much more comfortable having sex when clean and that I really prefer to shower before getting into bed at all because it keeps the sheets clean and refreshing, but he didn't get the hint.

I'm supposed to see him again in two weeks. How can I tell him he needs to clean up without hurting his feelings?

TLDR: Reconnected with an ex who is lovely except that he has awful hygiene. How can I gently talk to him about this without embarrassing him?

UPDATE:

quote:

I called the guy up a couple days after my original post with my concerns. He was very receptive and listened well, pointing that I was so nervous that he thought I was going to ask him to help me hide a body or something. He didn't offer any other commentary beyond saying that he'd do all of this and that I shouldn't hesitate to ask him to use mouthwash or put on deodorant in the future if I notice he's "off"(and he immediately ordered mouthwash and antiperspirant and texted me the screenshot when we got off the phone).

He did tell me later that his ten-year relationship was with a woman who essentially showered and brushed her teeth every other day or so and would only do either with water and didn't use any soap/toothpaste/deodorant (just essential oils, and she asked him to stop using deodorant), so he felt his morning shower and 1.5 tooth-brushings a day with the appropriate products was comparatively fine. He admitted he may have gone noseblind during that relationship (he claims she didn't smell badly, but she also wasn't very physically active beyond slow yoga, worked from their air-conditioned home, and ate a raw vegan diet so maybe that influenced things or maybe she had great non-smelly genes or maybe he truly just couldn't smell her, who knows). He was involved with another woman with normal hygienic habits for nine months between her and myself who never said anything about his breath or odor.

The visit itself went well. He keeps a clean apartment. One of the first things I noticed was that above his desk he keeps charts for each month's professional, fitness, and personal goals, and among them were getting his teeth looked at, using mouthwash at least twice a day, and getting into the habit of taking a second shower. He told me he hadn't been to the dentist in six years out of anxiety after a bad experience, so he asked a buddy to go with him. He had two cavities filled and a deep-cleaning and said it was far less stressful than he thought it would be. He made a point to use mouthwash if we were going to be intimate at any point, took mints from me whenever I offered them when we were out (I need one after any meal if I'm not able to brush my teeth).

The body odor issue was pretty much totally solved just by his wearing deodorant. He did shower twice a day most days, but on the two nights where we came home very late and exhausted from a social event and he asked I'd be ok with it if he just went straight to sleep since he was too tired for sex, he didn't smell noticeably at all. I didn't consider this as a factor, but it's also nearly 20 degrees cooler where he lives vs. where we took a trip together, and our previous trip involved daily active and outdoorsy things like hiking that we only did once this time. He will be visiting me in a month in the hot place where I live, so we'll see how that goes.

TLDR: I was dating a guy with bad hygiene, I talked to him it, and I just spent a week with him. He took my concerns seriously and was proactive, so these issues may be over. Hooray!

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:29

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

wheatpuppy posted:

When I was house-hunting about 12 years ago, I was taken aback by the nicely-restored Victorian that had a heavily-insulated freestanding room in the middle of the basement with a freezer-type locking latch on the outside of the door. Inside the room had plain white tile walls, a single wooden chair, and a floor drain.

By the third house with an externally-locking basement room with a floor drain, I just came to understand that there are undercurrents of small-town South Dakota that I cannot comprehend.

When I lived in Indiana, it was pretty routine for houses to have a "cold room" in the basement. It isn't refrigerated, but the ground keeps it cold enough to store things that need to be cool but not cold (oranges in our house, sometimes onions.) I don't know what yours, in the middle of the basement, was for, but the ones next to the foundation are probably cold rooms. The tiles and the drain in the floor sound to me like quick clean-up after condensation-induced mold.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:30

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for telling my wife to stop crying at Home Depot?

quote:

My wife 27F and I 27M have been making trips to Home Depot to renovate our backyard. It's become a little "date" for us and we enjoy the quality time. In March of 2022, my father in law (FIL) suddenly passed away from a heart attack. I am very close with my wife's family and supported her through the grieving process.

On Sunday, my wife insisted I skip NFL and go to Home Depot with her, as our order was ready for pickup.When we got to Home Depot, there was an extremely long lineup, so I'm already annoyed having to wait.

Out of absolutely nowhere, my wife starts tearing up and crying in the middle of this long line. I ask her what's wrong and she quietly tells me that the gentleman at the end of the line reminds her of her late father (my FIL) and she became very emotional and continues to cry. I got upset / embarrassed and told her to quit being so random since it's a weird reason to cry, especially because the gentleman looks absolutely nothing like her father.

I then told her she is tripping out for no reason and she ruined the vibe for home depot dates.

On the car ride home she called me insensitive and said it's not my right to talk about her father, even though it was obvious the home depot customer / employee looked nothing like my father-in-law. If it was a doppleganger I would understand.

take that poo poo to lowe's, lady, you're fuckin up my home depot vibe

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:31

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

Arsenic Lupin posted:

When I lived in Indiana, it was pretty routine for houses to have a "cold room" in the basement. It isn't refrigerated, but the ground keeps it cold enough to store things that need to be cool but not cold (oranges in our house, sometimes onions.) I don't know what yours, in the middle of the basement, was for, but the ones next to the foundation are probably cold rooms. The tiles and the drain in the floor sound to me like quick clean-up after condensation-induced mold.

My first thought was somewhere you�d butcher and dress deer and stuff?

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:32

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Arsenic Lupin posted:

When I lived in Indiana, it was pretty routine for houses to have a "cold room" in the basement. It isn't refrigerated, but the ground keeps it cold enough to store things that need to be cool but not cold (oranges in our house, sometimes onions.) I don't know what yours, in the middle of the basement, was for, but the ones next to the foundation are probably cold rooms. The tiles and the drain in the floor sound to me like quick clean-up after condensation-induced mold.

That must be some mold they have if the room needs to lock from the outside.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:33

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Total Meatlove posted:

My first thought was somewhere you’d butcher and dress deer and stuff?

Same, but then my thought was, "why inside the house where you have to drag the messy carpet across the house and into the basement and not like, a shed outside? Even if you have direct entry into the basement that's a lot of space with stuff to smack a big old dead deer on."

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Pretty hosed up to put outfits on animals after killing them.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:37

my cat is norris: Mar 11, 2010; #onecallcat

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Most famously, NYT bestseller Naomi Novik not only writes fic, but is a co-founder of the Archive of Our Own.

this is from forever ago (page 2750!) but i wanted to call out that naomi started her writing career while roleplaying on a dragonriders of pern MUSH. she was sharing test snippets of her first temeraire novel with other players. i did not play on this MUSH but knew people who did and those people can still walk up to naomi and be like "hey i played character <such and such>" and they'll have a delightful reunion and conversation about the good ol' days of being in college and having MUSH adventures.

i just think it's neat that the silliest, nerdiest hobbies can lead to such joy and success in life! i wish i was getting paid to do what i enjoy doing in MY free time.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:38

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my wife to stop crying at Home Depot?

take that poo poo to lowe's, lady, you're fuckin up my home depot vibe

I mean...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgosh-nqzro

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:43

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

when your wife is mourning her recently deceased father the ideal move is to comfort and support her and not get mad that she's harshing the paint aisle vibes

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:44

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Pretty hosed up to put outfits on animals after killing them.

Well they wouldn�t put them on while they were alive :colbert:

# ? Sep 14, 2023 17:56

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

FoolyCharged posted:

Same, but then my thought was, "why inside the house where you have to drag the messy carpet across the house and into the basement and not like, a shed outside? Even if you have direct entry into the basement that's a lot of space with stuff to smack a big old dead deer on."

In the Midwest, there's a really good chance that a house old enough to have a cold room also has a "storm door" that lets you directly into the basement. That's what Dorothy's fighting with in The Wizard of Oz. drat, butchering makes perfect sense.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 18:02

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Pretty hosed up to put outfits on animals after killing them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFNVo7BsmSo

# ? Sep 14, 2023 18:10

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

It's always wedding season on r/AITA! (Do people still try to get married in June, or is that custom dead?)
AITA for changing the wedding venue my fianc� chose to something more flashy as a surprise?

quote:

I (25M) am marrying (24F) this coming October. We both have very large families, but hers is really poor and kind of traditional. As a result my fianc� has been taught to always go for the cheapest option throughout her life, whether we are going out to eat or buying clothes or going on holiday. Well, we've been planning the wedding, and the choice of venue was typical for her - a small local church where she was christened. Right off the bat, the place isn't suitable for the number of guests who will be invited, and I knew she only chose that location because of money, which is not an issue.

I spoke to my father, and he agreed to fund a wedding abroad in Venice (I'm their only child so getting married is a big deal) and to arrange transportation for all the guests. He agreed to cover all expenses. So obviously I changed the venue and sent out invitations. I knew the money spent would make her anxious and she has always dreamed of visiting Venice so I waited to tell her until it was organised as a surprise.

Well, she didn't take it well and said I was a massive rear end in a top hat and that she had much preferred the church venue. She said it was too embarrassing to cancel it now that I've told people but seems really mad. I'm confused since that venue was never practical and am wondering if I'm the rear end in a top hat here or if she's overreacting.

AITA?

AITA for not going to my sister's wedding?

quote:

I (31 M) have been married to my wonderful wife (33 F) for a year. My sister (33 F) is getting married October 1st. I'm happy for her, but I'm not attending the wedding.

Sister is one of the angriest people I've ever met. Mom brushes it off because Sister's a tiny blonde who weighs 105 lbs soaking wet, but she has rages that can last for days. If you do something she disapproves of, she'll scream and sob and break things. It's been this way our whole lives, and she's never once faced consequences or admitted to wrong-doing.

Well, if you can�t guess from the fact that I'm posting here, I did something she didn't like, and her response led me to block her on everything. If I'm the rear end in a top hat for doing this, I'm ready to accept my judgment. But I think I made the right decision.

I'm the only boy in my family. When I married Wife, I took her last name. I did it for practical reasons: my last name was hard to pronounce/spell, and hers is a word. Think "Jessica Rabbit" or "Grace Slick." That's my wife. She never has to spell it out or help pronounce it, and ever since I took her name, I've been significantly happier. I work on a construction site, and even the meat-heads there said, "Wow, that's much easier. Good call."

Sister--who didn't attend my wedding, ftr--was absolutely furious when I told her. Screamed at me, called my wife an "emasculating abusive bitch," said she was going to start calling me "Mrs.", and that Wife's not invited to the wedding. I said if Wife isn't invited then I'm not invited--we're a package deal. Sister told us both to gently caress off, and I thought that was the end of it. We didn't speak for months, but then a wedding invitation arrived in the mail.

It was addressed to me. Just me, using my old name. No acknowledgment of my new name or my wife. I swear, if Sister had simply addressed the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. New Name," I would've taken it as a sign that she felt remorse. Wife agrees that the gesture would have gone a long way. But instead Sister decided to toss in what felt like a final petty dig.

I told Sister we would only attend if she apologized for calling my wife a bitch. She refused, accused us of giving her an ultimatum, and said we were "punishing her for having an opinion." I no longer care that it's my sister's wedding--I refuse to subject my wife to what will surely be an abusive trainwreck. Now that the wedding is only a few weeks away, my family's been hounding me nonstop. They don't understand how I could miss my sister's big day, and they think she can't be held accountable for her actions because planning a wedding is stressful. AITA?

The top response is by his wife, saying it wasn't her idea, but she supports her husband's choice. She also links to the mostadorable engagement post ever.

Arsenic Lupin fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Sep 14, 2023

# ? Sep 14, 2023 18:22

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Hughlander posted:

quote:
He was very receptive and listened well, pointing that I was so nervous that he thought I was going to ask him to help me hide a body or something.

Lol "No...worse."

Seriously though, glad he's made some effort and hopefully things will continue to work out :toot:

# ? Sep 14, 2023 18:26

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

his ex taught him not to use deodorant, as a joke

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:09

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

haveblue posted:

Unless whoever built the sex dungeon did it in a weird way, you can replace the knob with a non-locking one without having to take off the door. He should have immediately offered to do that to defuse the situation

Or, y'know...she could've voiced her concerns like an adult instead of sneaking in with a spy cam? He probably would've replaced the locks if she said something, but she went behind his back with the whole "I don't trust what he says" angle then tried doubling-down when she got caught. Dungeon or not, that's hosed up to spy on people in their own home.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:10

Albino Broccoli: Aug 5, 2022

People getting obsessed over last names are so loving weird. It's not the middle ages anymore! There aren't lineages! You're just a random suburbanite in Ohio! gently caress!

At the very least I'm glad I don't have family members hounding me for my Rare Last Name going extinct after me and my sister don't have any children.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:18

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

I live in a really old house (converted to apartments at some point) and we have a terrifying little room in the basement directly under the porch that also appears to lock from the outside. I assume it was for werewolves or something. I haven't ever actually been in there because I don't think it has a light and also I assume it is filled with brown recluses.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:21

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

I live in a pretty old house, been here for decades, and I found a door I never knew was there about 6 months ago.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:25

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Pookah posted:

I live in a pretty old house, been here for decades, and I found a door I never knew was there about 6 months ago.

Well? Where did it lead?

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:27

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

We have a old, disused coal cellar under the front steps, and the door leads from the cellar into the basement. It's been boarded up for donkey's years, which is why I never noticed it. Whats really weird is that there is a glazed window in one wall of the coal cellar that opens onto a small side yard.
Who puts a window in a coal cellar?

Pookah fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Sep 14, 2023

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:31

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Well? Where did it lead?

They can't answer or Aslan will kill them in a train crash. Creating a train if necessary.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

We re-did the AV system in the board room of my company's main office last week, and in the process we discovered a secret room!

It was sadly lacking in pirate treasure, though.

# ? Sep 14, 2023 19:36