PokeJoe posted:

Alternatively: they're real as hell

Perry Mason Jar posted:

I'm pretty sure the secret T name for the underwater NHIs is Triads or Tryads. But it's difficult to search. If this makes sense to anyone, please point me in the right direction

SKULL.GIF posted:

Tritons?

SKULL.GIF posted:

Tritons?

Perry Mason Jar posted:

I'm pretty sure the secret T name for the underwater NHIs is Triads or Tryads. But it's difficult to search. If this makes sense to anyone, please point me in the right direction

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

Trichordates

We all know it

D-Pad posted:

They were two separate events. From the caption of the video in the original NYT article:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/26/us/politics/ufo-sightings-navy-pilots.html

It wasn't the same event, but rather I believe it was the same overall training exercise and similar sightings of similar objects, but they were weeks apart.

Tekne posted:

give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free so that we may feast upon them

aiat!

Squizzle posted:

i feel seen, and seasonal. seensonal

PokeJoe posted:

Alternatively: they're real as hell

The Saucer Hovers posted:

a.i. was disclosure until the hollywood star wackers killed kubrick and the coward steven spielberg neutered the film

Perry Mason Jar posted:

I'm pretty sure the secret T name for the underwater NHIs is Triads or Tryads. But it's difficult to search. If this makes sense to anyone, please point me in the right direction

endocriminologist posted:

It's all real

Sleekly posted:

use your own words imho

mediaphage posted:

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

OK let's try this. First disclaimer; this story doesn't follow a typical linear structure. There's a lot of back and forth going on. Things that would only make sense days, months, sometimes years later as I reflect on them through the lens of a new, larger context. Sometimes with even multiple layers of meaning for a single event, and me peeling these layers one after the other over time. Second disclaimer; this story isn't over. There's no real beginning nor end. There's only a "before", an "after", and a series of events that led me through some kind of narrow path seperating that old life from the new life. I'm still on that other side, there's no going back. The strangeness, the learning, the synchronicities, the transformation, it's still happening. It never really ends.




When I was still my "old" self, I had never experienced anything really strange in my whole life. I'm an average middle class guy, probably quite lucky in life, never had something really bad happen to me. Since as long as I remember I've always been driven by curiosity. I love learning about all kinds of things, constantly, but I also get bored quickly once I feel like I have a very basic understanding of a topic, so I jump to another one. I especially love understanding how things work, anything. Not for the answers themselves, but more for the fun process of discovering how the cogs work together. A practical example would be how I always jump from hobby to hobby when I feel I learned enough, or how I love discovering a new game just for the pleasure of understanding the rules and playing with them a bit, but then when it's done I need to move to something new. I learn fast, but I'm quickly bored before getting deep into a topic. Probably undiagnosed ADD or something like that.

So even if I come from a family with 0 interest in the woo, even if my education is more materialistic and scientific rather than creative and spiritual, something in the paranormal inevitably attracts me. I don't care if it's real or not, I need to look into it and hopefully see all the cogs and how they work together, and maybe coming to a conclusion regarding the reality of these experiences. What do I do then? I start reading about all these topics, anywhere I can find something, for years. Websites, books, forums. I ingurgitate information about UFOs and aliens first. Then ghosts and spirits. Then shamanism and animism. This leads me to trying entheogens. Then I start getting into religions, philosophies, hermeticism, the occult, chaos magic, folklore, archetypes, etc. I purchase books on all these things. Some I read completely, some I only skim through, some I never really opened because they were still too obscure and locked for me.

At the same time, I feel like my life is getting a bit darker. I tend to become less social. I'm single and I kind of become like a hermit, even though I still have contact with my friends and family. Then synchronicities start to happen to me quite regularly. At first they're just weird but fun, but over time I'm starting to realize that it's not entirely random. I'm starting to get the feeling that they're all about me specifically. Not like something is sending them to me, more like I'm sending them to myself. This is when I start slowly descending into delusion and insanity. I'm asking myself why? Why me? Maybe I'm someone important? Maybe I have powers? Maybe I'm influencing reality with my mind? The more I entertain these ideas, the more I receive confirmation of them, but also the more I feel like I'm receiving much more than what I asked for. Like it's just too much for my brain. It's also around that time that I do a sigil ritual because I'm stupid and curious and I want to see if it works. I asked for one thing but I won't share it here because Scire, Velle, Audere, Tacere and all that for those who know what I mean. But yes, my wish got fullfilled eventually, later in the story, just not how I imagined it would be. I'm a living tale of the idiot who played with things he didn't understand and burned himself. The kind of warning they put on the first page of occult books, warnings that I had read and ignored. What can I say, that's just who I am.

Then one day, I fall over the edge, into the abyss, after walking next to it for quite some time. There's one particular synchronicity that I can't really describe because it's one of these very subjective but very powerful thing that are next to impossible to translate in words. But what is important is when it happens, it's like it flips a switch in my brain. My head is buzzing, my thoughts start racing, I can't stop them, and they start telling me I'm breaking reality and I need to die now or others will suffer because of me. I'm at work at that moment. I stand up, pack my stuff and drive home. I'm thinking "OK be honest, you had a good life, you were lucky, don't be a jerk and ruin everything for everyone" (don't forget I'm fully into the delusion by now, what I think doesn't make sense from a logical point of view). I'm back home. I tell the universe "OK if I need to die so be it. Kill me if you have to". I write a few words to my family and friends, telling them I love them, then I wait and a panic attack creeps in (never had one before). It feels like a heart attack, literally. So I go on my bed and wait for the universe to finish the job, stressed but resolved. A few minutes pass. Nothing. Then I start laughing because of the ridicule of the situation. It's all a joke. I had convinced myself of all this through my own insanity.


But things were far from over. My head is still buzzing. The thoughts are still racing. I can't turn my mind off. It's just going all over the place, non stop. I can't sleep anymore. I go to bed and spend hours staring at the ceiling while my brain is racing. After a few days of this regimen, strange things begin happening. Increased synchronicities, sometimes a dozen a day. Then I start hallucinating too because of the lack of sleep. But I realize it's hallucinations because nobody can confirm them. So at least I manage to remain a bit grounded and I realize I should probably not talk about all these things if I don't want to end up being medicated. Around the same time, one night, I pick up one of the books I hadn't read yet. It's the Kybalion. A study on Hermetic philosophy and metaphysics. It's though to get into it but I take notes, I try to transcribe what it says into schemas to help me visualize it all (I'm very visual). As I'm reading it's like I'm hit by a Eureka moment. I see it all. I see what the book is trying to explain. I see how it applies to everything around, to the whole universe. It's like someone gave me a pair of magic glasses that would decode anything hidden inside esoteric texts. Later I would even go back to other books and they would start to make more sense too. Even religious books. But for the moment all I see is the All in me and me in the All. It's like a mystical experience. It doesn't feel like I'm starting to believe. It feels like I know, first hand.

Unfortunately the racing thoughts don't stop at all. The hallucinations get worse. I feel like I'm that close from going fully insane and that I need help. Yet I don't want to be medicated, I don't actually feel crazy, I just feel like it's too much too soon. I go to a bar owned by Dominican monks and have a conversation with this French monk who's a good and wise person I respect and admire. I tell him I feel like I've seen God after reading a Hermetic book but it's just too much and I don't know how to handle it. He tells me he believes me, and to go to a nearby monastery I also frequented as a kid going to the Mass with my father, because they'll be able to help more. I knew the place, one of the monk there was our chaplain when I was a boy scout and later a scout leader, and he told us stories about exorcisms and poltergeists once, because he was the one in charge of these things for the whole region. I go back home.

But very soon I feel like I need to go there now. The hallucinations are only ramping up and I'm losing control of what I say. I start speaking like a crazy prophet or mystic, but I don't want to. Words just come out, and I don't know why I say them. So in the middle of the night, during a snowstorm, I take my car and drive to the monastery. I reach there and the first monk I see I tell him I need help, mixed with delusional nonsense. He brings me to the abbot and I explain again, the book, seeing God, losing my mind. He asks me if someone else can help, I reply my parents are on holiday and I don't want to go somewhere they will medicate me. He says OK you can stay. They offer me a room, food, and allow me to rest in a peaceful environment for a few days. I'm starting to sleep again, a bit more each day. After my parents are back the abbot calls them and they come pick me up, super worried, and take over watching me. I'm getting better but I'm still having hallucinations and synchronicities all the time so I just try to keep that poo poo to myself as much as possible so they don't send me somewhere to be medicated. I just explain something weird happened to me and it stressed me and made me lose sleep and I need a lot of rest. My mom goes to my appartment with me to fetch clothes. She sees the grimoires on my table and tells me to hide them immediately, that she doesn't want me to get into this (too late). But she still take cares of me like mothers do. She helps me rest, going out in the nature again, going to the doctor to get a certificate for work. And then a slow process of healing starts. It feels like I'm picking the shattered pieces of my mind and putting them back into place.

Weeks, months pass. I'm getting better. I'm trying to integrate what happened. I learn about mystical experiences, occult initiations and it helps me make sense of things a bit more. I'm not the same person. I don't see the world the same way. I understand things that would make no sense before. I'm not afraid of death anymore. I'm less materialistic. I start thinking about what I need to do to be at peace with myself, and work on that. I'm more patient, more caring, more forgiving. I think that I'm quite lucky and I don't really know why I deserve all this but I'm just grateful. Then life goes on, I continue to heal, to integrate, to learn. I meet my wife, we have two children together and this is where I'm at right now. Still curious, still a bit foolish, still attracted to the weird and laughing at synchronicities, but clearly not the same person as I was "before".



I think it's the first time I shared this story in full and not just bits. It feels good to be able to in a friendly environment. Thank you fellow bird posters for making this thread what it is and allowing me to unpack all this. You are the best.

quote:

There is a Military Operations Area (Yankee 1&2 MOA) that extends roughly from Meredith at the south to Mount Washington to the east to Berlin to the north, and Topsham, VT to the west. Yankee 1 includes airspace from 9,000-18,000 ft. above mean sea level. Yankee 2 MOA, a smaller area centered over the Sandwich Mts. includes airspace 100' above ground level up to 9,000 ft. above sea level. When Yankee 2 MOA is active there can be low-flying, fast military planes practicing maneuvers.

blatman posted:

this is a good post, thank you for sharing

blatman posted:

this is a good post, thank you for sharing

blatman posted:

this is a good post, thank you for sharing

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

blatman posted:

this is a good post, thank you for sharing

Barry Foster posted:

I trust that in the end, all the terror and suffering and near-insanity was worth it?

fanfic insert posted:

Great post.

What, uh, is the sigil ritual? I am definitely a fool so i feel like i should do it.