r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I mean, simple poo poo like that, can't you hit up a drat convenience store for it? Maybe not money efficient, but if you cannot handle a grocery store for long enough to find one item and get out, it's an option.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:26

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# ? May 28, 2024 01:11

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

There's so many things you can do other than thinking to yourself "I will spend a week putting my poop tissues in the trashcan, also my partner will be fine doing the same :hmmyes:

", and OP chose none of them

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:31

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

i mean instacart was basically invented for dudes who don't want to pick up their own toilet paper from the store

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:36

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

instashart

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:42

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

I also shudder to think what would happen when those tissues run out.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:43

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

limp_cheese posted:

I also shudder to think what would happen when those tissues run out.

Socks.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:43

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I feel like being out of toilet paper is an acceptable use case scenario for door dash if you absolutely have some kind of anxiety about going into stores

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:45

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

I am aware they said a year. But time flies when free computer fun.

PLUS if the kid is already that mean he can probably get them to move out sooner if he's persistent enough.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:47

welcome to hell: Jun 9, 2006

Captain Hygiene posted:

There's so many things you can do other than thinking to yourself "I will spend a week putting my poop tissues in the trashcan, also my partner will be fine doing the same ", and OP chose none of them

there is zero chance he was going to use the trash. he would have flushed them and ruined the plumbing.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:48

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

welcome to hell posted:

there is zero chance he was going to use the trash. he would have flushed them and ruined the plumbing.

he says in the comments he was using the trash. apparently the poo poo tissue situation was well established by the time the gf got home

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:49

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

I also think that you lot are being far too generous to this bloke by saying he won't can't go to the shops because of anxiety/sensory issues.

As I read it he is just a lazy, whiny bastard that doesn't like leaving the house. (But I may be wrong/insensitive, and if so I apologize.)

# ? Sep 18, 2023 03:53

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

BrigadierSensible posted:

I also think that you lot are being far too generous to this bloke by saying he won't can't go to the shops because of anxiety/sensory issues.

As I read it he is just a lazy, whiny bastard that doesn't like leaving the house. (But I may be wrong/insensitive, and if so I apologize.)

Oh yeah, there's some big pissbottle gamer energy there. But even if they do have issues going out shopping, they've hit the point of proactively not dealing with it at the expense of anyone else in their life, in which case they're also at fault.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 04:05

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

There�s nothing wrong with having a system that works for you, it�s just that the GF isn�t obligated to go along with it if that doesn�t work for her.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 04:16

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Look at this caveman using paper to wipe his rear end.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 04:21

Wicked Them Beats: Apr 1, 2007; Moralists don't really *have* beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child's toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded.

quote:

Every Saturday morning, I do a Walmart pickup. I do not go to any store any other time. I hate going into the store. GF knows this, the one time she convinced me to go shopping for groceries with her it was hell, so she never asked again. This was a thing even before she moved in. I usually get a lot of dog treats, stuff for protein shakes, and whatever other stuff I need for myself. I�ll add stuff if my gf asks me to.

Notice he doesn't mention what made it "hell." Gonna guess it was the pouty tantrum he was throwing the whole time.

Plus he explicitly states when he does go shopping he only gets what he needs, and of course it's incumbent upon his girlfriend to prepare a list if she wants anything else. She's probably filling in a ton of gaps in their shopping that he doesn't when he does his weekly dog treat/protein shake run.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 04:21

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Dear gods there are times I hit up a store three times a week because I forgot to make a loving list and forget poo poo.

Most places do pickup, so all he had to do was literally make an order and drive there and let someone load the poo poo into his car.

AITA for raising my voice to my partner for trying to be physically playful while I was driving

quote:

My partner (27F) and I (37M) just left our friends� house after a really nice meal and generally good time. We�re driving home and she was happy and singing a song and to the music she�s trying to find my nipple under my shirt by poking and scratching at it with the music.. I wasn�t saying anything but batting her hand away and trying to cover it so she could get to it.. but instead of taking a hint, she just tried harder and jammed her finger up under my hand, all the while singing and happy, teasing-like. The car was jerking around as I was trying to get her hand away and finally I raised my voice and said �Will you STOP THAT?!�

I didn�t yell really but just raised my voice to convey that it was serious to me. I�m a naturally soft spoken person and very reluctant to raise my voice in any way.

Anyway, as soon as I snapped at her, her mood was instantly completely different. A dead, expressionless face, totally silent and motionless for the rest of the ride home.. only 2 or 3 minutes. All she said after I parked at home was �you don�t have to carry anything in if you don�t want to,� to which I replied �I don�t mind helping.� Then she went inside and went to her room and texted me �I�m going to spend the rest of the night in the bedroom.�

We�ve lived together for 4 years if that helps.. To me, I feel justified for being upset at that and I feel like my comfort and wishes weren�t being respected.. even though I didn�t say anything verbally at first, it was obvious I was trying to stop that action. Now I feel like I�m being made to feel responsible for her ruined mood/evening or something. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Edit: Am I the rear end in a top hat for snapping at her instead of clearly, calmly communicating earlier on?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 04:40

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

What the hell? Don't yell at your partner in general, but it's OK to raise your voice if they're apparently trying to set you up for vehicular suicide :psyduck:

# ? Sep 18, 2023 04:57

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

First rule of driving do NOT gently caress with the driver.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 05:03

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

I�m not letting go on the age math.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Also, bonus secret ending from OP's account

Is the karma score functional in some way?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 05:13

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

kimbo305 posted:

I�m not letting go on the age math.

Is the karma score functional in some way?

Some subreddits won't let you post if it's below a certain level.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 05:20

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for cutting my wife off financially til she goes to work

quote:

My wife34f and I43m have two children together, ages 7 and 4. I work as an OBGYN, and my wife has been a SAHM mom since our youngest was born. I make very good money, so I�d always give my wife a good chunk to walk around with or do whatever with. She�ll go get her nails done, or hair, shopping. Pamper herself and I never minded. This year our youngest was capable of starting early head start vpk. Even though both kids have been at school, my wife continued to be a SAHM. I brought it up to her as we have a house cleaner so my wife isn�t busy cleaning, and I could afford an after school nanny, that she should start looking for a job.

My wife was furious when I suggested that, and said we live more then comfortably with my paychecks alone, that she shouldn�t have to give up her days to do unnecessary work. I tried to explain, as the kids age, and inflation rises, money will begin to get tight. Then I told her until she goes and looks for work I�d no longer be giving her money, and that it would be spent responsibly.

She was furious, accused me of being jealous of her �easy life,� and said i was being unreasonable and stingy. Our argument cooled off a few days later, but Friday I got paid and did not give my wife the money I usually do, and she exploded once again, saying how unfair I was being and how there was no real reason for her to work. AITA?

Edit: I�m seeing a lot of confusion. First of all, my wife had access to the accounts. But we have an agreement as she is an excessive spender which is this weekly money for her to pamper herself. Not getting pampers is not financial abuse.

2nd of all) She is not fully raising the children on her own. I get them up in the morning and ready and drop them to school on my way to work, she picks them up after school and I am off an hour later.

Not the most interesting story, but the typo is :kiss:

r/relationships: Not getting pampers is not financial abuse

# ? Sep 18, 2023 05:40

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Look, I spent my spoons on protein shakes, we�re just going to have to wipe out asses with tissues and blow our nose on our shirts for a few days.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 06:22

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Wanna bet that if the guy runs out of stuff for his protein shakes then yes, he will brave the indignity of an extra shopping trip that week.

Or nah, he'll just ask his (now-ex) girlfriend to do it.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 07:11

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Am I the only one getting neurodivergent vibes from the weekly toilet paper guy? I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it, to me it fits

# ? Sep 18, 2023 07:22

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

A long story, but we need something sweet as gently caress!

I feel like I'm going to crack

quote:

My fiancee and I recently got engaged not to long ago. While we were making plans (deciding on rings & so on), the proposal was very spontaneous and happened months before my fiancee had originally planned.

I also originally planned to accept his proposal in his native language. However, due to events that led up to the proposal, I forgot. So I decided I would just keep taking classes + his brother or brother's wife will only converse with me in Polish when my fiancee isn't around. Then I would surprise my fiancee by giving my vows in Polish.

The problem?

My fiancee doesn't know I now understand a lot of the conversations he's having with his family and some of his friends because I have to pretend I don't understand. This has been going on for MONTHS even before he proposed. I feel like I'm invading his privacy.

Cause now I know...

He has been planning to surprise me with his originally planned proposal but now it's just an over the top engagement party.

He once told his mom he missed her sauerkraut soup so - for the four almost five years we have been together - I make this dish a handful of times a year during fall/winter for him. I had called his mom up for the specific recipe too. Turns out HE HAS ALWAYS HATED IT. But it reminds him of home and his mom and sees how happy I get to make this for him...so he just eats it!!! Like I make a big pot only for him to eat and I don't like sauerkraut. Now it makes sense why he always sends half of it to his brother & SIL (who lives walking distance from us).

He has been hiding my favorite candies around the house!!! For the last two years!!!! I will find my favorite candies in places I was surprised to find them in. Like a random drawer here. On a shelf there. Like I get sooo happy and will run to him in my excitement about these random candies I must've forgotten about. Nope. He just buys bags of them and will place them in spots randomly. He just loves how excited I get. I caught him telling his brother when his brother found one of them going through one of our kitchen drawer. His brother thought the whole situation was hilarious cause he's in on the fact that I understood the whole exchange.

He has my period in his calendar so that he can be extra mindful + get me my favorite things during the week to help keep my mood up.

He has always known that I lied about being a morning person. I said that when we first started dating because he always went to the gym in the morning and would invite me to go with him. Four/five years later, we still go to the gym together and - while getting up at 5am is still a pain for me - it's worth spending that extra time with him especially since we are both busy people.

Turns out if I fall asleep before him, he has trouble sleeping. I snore (I have tried EVERYTHING). He has never once complained to me about it but I still use nasal strips & have a special pillow that I THOUGHT helped. However, apparently if I fall asleep after him, he can just sleep through it cause he's a heavy sleeper. So now I make it a point to sleepafter him. He hasn't caught on yet I think.

The last thing is something that he has told anyone who will listen. His parents. His uncles. His aunts. His brother. His brother's wife. His friends in Poland. Anyone and everyone who speaks Polish. If I'm in the room and he's on the phone with them, he will always look at me with a crazy big smile and tell them that he cannot wait to marry me. Ugh. I love the man so much.

I don't think I can keep this charade up for a year (we are planning for a 2024 wedding). I am not good at pretending. I can't keep hiding my face or running out of the room when he is talking to family/friends. And my birthday will be coming up in a few months so I know he will be planning something and probably think it's safe to talk about it with some people in Polish.

I'm going to crack soon. I can feel it.

UPDATE I feel like I'm going to crack

quote:

I did end up cracking.

My fiancee threw that surprise engagement party for us (that I found out about since I've been learning his native language). It was beautiful and sweet and he flew his family AND my family out to be there as well.

We did a toast during the dinner portion of the party and I decided to do my portion of the toast in Polish (as suggested by a comment on my last post). I explained in my toast I wanted my learning Polish to be a surprise for the proposal but since that didn't work out, I wanted it to be a surprise for my wedding vows. However, I didn't count on the fact that I would be unintentionally eavesdropping on his conversations and what was supposed to be a surprise engagement party for me was spoiled by me. I also went on to talk about the sweet things I found out through my eavesdropping (excluding the bit about the sauerkraut soup because his mom was there & I will take that to my grave haha) and how it only further proved to me that I made the right choice by saying yes to his proposal. And that while I don't think anyone is ever really perfect, I do know that he is perfect for me.

My Polish wasn't perfect and thankfully my FBIL translated everything to my side of the family (I asked him to early on).

Now here comes the absolute shock of the year.

I don't know if I mentioned this is any of my posts because there was no reason to at the time but I am mixed (black/latina). So a big chunk of my family speaks Spanish - myself included. Granted, I usually do speak English with my family and not often Spanish but my maternal grandparents (who were at the engagement party) do only speak Spanish. I'm pretty sure you know where I'm going with this...

After I was done with my toast, I looked over at my fiancee who had tears in his eyes and he freaking responded to my toast IN SPANISH.

Turns out he was learning Spanish for the last year and wanted to surprise me on our wedding day. While I don't speak Spanish as often as he speaks Polish so no secrets were spoiled on my end, he wanted me to know that he embraced every part of my life and just wanted to prove that to me by learning Spanish.

There were a lot of laughs and tears shed and both our families made it a point to learn simple phrases in the others language so that was really cute to see.

All in all, I'm still planning to do my vows in Polish and he plans to do his vows in Spanish & English (since half my family also only speaks English haha). I'm happy I'm not eavesdropping anymore because I did not enjoy invading his privacy despite the sweet things I did end up learning. So that's that.

I'm just very excited to spend the rest of my life with this man.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 08:55

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Evil Willow posted:

A long story, but we need something sweet as gently caress!

I feel like I'm going to crack

UPDATE I feel like I'm going to crack

awww!

# ? Sep 18, 2023 09:22

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Evil Willow posted:

I shall be trying this recipe on the weekend and will report back with results.

Dense and delicious! Next time I'll try to halve the recipe coz it makes a BIG loaf. Took about 2 hours to cook all the way through, I had to cover it with foil after about half an hour so the top wouldn't burn. There were a few burnt bits in the corner, just enough to be really, really yummy.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 09:52

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Evil Willow posted:

A long story, but we need something sweet as gently caress!

I feel like I'm going to crack

UPDATE I feel like I'm going to crack

# ? Sep 18, 2023 10:00

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

boofhead posted:

Am I the only one getting neurodivergent vibes from the weekly toilet paper guy? I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it, to me it fits

I mean yes, but also as much as the supermarket overwhelms me I am capable of texting my husband "We're out of toilet paper, can you bring some?" instead of making an elaborate plan involving Kleenex and the garbage bin, so I feel like this shouldn't be the only explanation.

Also this:

ApplesandOranges posted:

Wanna bet that if the guy runs out of stuff for his protein shakes then yes, he will brave the indignity of an extra shopping trip that week.

Or nah, he'll just ask his (now-ex) girlfriend to do it.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 11:32

Captain Fargle: Feb 16, 2011

boofhead posted:

Am I the only one getting neurodivergent vibes from the weekly toilet paper guy? I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it, to me it fits

Neurodivergence is not an excuse for being a horrible poo poo goblin.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 12:45

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

How to get your kid to hate you in one easy step!

AITA for not letting my son go to homecoming on my weekend?

quote:

My son is a freshman and his dad is telling me he wants to go to homecoming but it is 6-10 pm on my saturday (I get him fri night to sunday night). I only see him 4 days a month right now and he only sees his brother on the weekends because my ex took my older son away from me to go live with him when he wasn�t doing good in school with me�

So I told his dad no and said it isn�t fair to me or his brother to allow him to go and I can�t drive him there because it�s an hour each way so would be 4 hours of driving for me. His dad said he would give up the monday but I�d still only get him from sunday morning to monday evening which is less than my usual time. Well my son is throwing a fit now and his dad is telling me I don�t put my kids first, but it�s literally just a dance?

I barely see my son and I already up a lot of time for his football practice.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 13:58

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Cowslips Warren posted:

How to get your kid to hate you in one easy step!

AITA for not letting my son go to homecoming on my weekend?

Normally not worth commenting on the grammar of a reddit post, but the stream of consciousness writing along with this line

quote:

my ex took my older son away from me to go live with him when he wasn�t doing good in school with me�

Is not doing them any favors here. Going to assume between homecoming and football this is not a situation in a non english speaking country, poor kid.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 14:09

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

this isn't the first time we've heard how much OP cares for her children:

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not helping my ex pay for our older son?

i'd say she's well on the way to wondering why her kids vanished on their 18th birthdays

# ? Sep 18, 2023 14:09

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

This is my weekend so the three of us are going to sit in the living room and stare at one another.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 14:28

kru: Oct 5, 2003

Cowslips Warren posted:

How to get your kid to hate you in one easy step!

AITA for not letting my son go to homecoming on my weekend?

Every time I see a post like this it reminds me of that incredibly sad father/son sketch in monkey dust.

God drat, what a horrible heartbreaker that is.

:smith:

# ? Sep 18, 2023 14:46

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

I get overstimulated as gently caress at the grocery store but I still gotta go sometimes when I don’t want to sheesh

I find going in with headphones in and using the self shopping cart that this one store has is great. I have to deal with zero people except the person who pulls the camera/tablet/device off the cart while I'm swiping my card at the checkout. I'm also lucky enough to work until 4 so I go right after work and it's not super busy.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 15:20

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

I just do grocery pickup and then for stuff like incidental small purchases you can do curbside at somewhere like Target. I don�t like wearing headphones in public.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 15:23

MajorBonnet: May 28, 2009; How did I get here?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

This is my weekend so the three of us are going to sit in the living room and stare at one another.

It's the perfect time for a game of Monopoly.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:06

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

MajorBonnet posted:

It's the perfect time for a game of Monopoly.

Hello? CPS? Yes, I have a report to make...

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:08

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# ? May 28, 2024 01:11

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

BrigadierSensible posted:

I also think that you lot are being far too generous to this bloke by saying he won't can't go to the shops because of anxiety/sensory issues.

As I read it he is just a lazy, whiny bastard that doesn't like leaving the house. (But I may be wrong/insensitive, and if so I apologize.)

He buys paper plates and plastic utensils because he hates to wash dishes.

He was in a rush to get back to his raid during the tissue situation.

Yeah, you read it right.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:12

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