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Jim straps a bunch of sticks of dynamite inside his vest and runs straight into the office before detonating it.
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Sep 19, 2023 19:09
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| # ? May 31, 2024 11:22 |
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Jim builds a haunted attraction for Halloween and invites Dwight to test it out. Dwight gets startled a few times by some of the scare actors and admits that Jim's done a pretty incredible job. Especially the spooky basement, which had some of the scariest sound design Dwight had ever encountered. "Thanks, buddy. That means a lot." Jim then reveals to the documentary crew that there were no scare actors and that Dwight encountered actual ghosts, ghouls, and demons inside the haunt.
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Sep 19, 2023 19:14
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Jim starts dreaming up Halloween-themed pranks in September, knowing that Dwight gets annoyed by the increasingly early start of the holiday season. This prank fails when Michael shows up at the office wearing a big Santa costume the he bought that day.
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Sep 19, 2023 19:15
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Jim calls Dwight a gaywad, hikes up his JNCOs, and kick flips his way out of the office. It’s 3 PM on a Tuesday in 2023.
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Sep 19, 2023 20:11
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Jim replaces Dwight’s eyedrops with hydrochloric acid.
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Sep 19, 2023 20:16
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Jim calls Dwight a slut for making out with Angela while she’s dating Andy, even though he JUST made out with Pam while she was dating Roy. Jim hikes up his dayglo green halter top and struts away on sketchers with 6-inch heels. It’s 3 PM on a Tuesday in 2023.
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Sep 19, 2023 20:25
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Jim finally watches Mad Man, and while much of the show goes over his head, he decides to live his life more like Don Drape, the main character. Pam - who deep down has always loved the idea of being living in the 1960s, martinis and all - loves the idea. The next day Jim murders Dwight and steals his identity.
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Sep 19, 2023 20:28
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Jim surprises a pregnant Angela with a ticket to the Beetlejuice musical.
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Sep 19, 2023 23:35
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Jim replaces Dwight’s testicles with TruckNutz™️
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Sep 20, 2023 00:11
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Jim replaces Dwight’s testicles with TruckNutz™️ Jim replaces Dwight’s testicles with rabid raccoons.
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Sep 20, 2023 01:06
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Jim replaces Dwight’s eyedrops with hydrochloric acid. Jim replaces Dwight’s eyedrops with powdered metallic lithium
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Sep 20, 2023 01:11
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Jim increases the water pressure on Dwight’s bidet to 34,000 psi
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Sep 20, 2023 01:21
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Jim increases the water pressure on Dwight’s bidet to 34,000 psi Jim increases the magma pressure on Dwight’s bidet to 34,000 psi
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Sep 20, 2023 02:20
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Jim increases the pressure on Dwight's eyedropper to 34k psi
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Sep 20, 2023 02:22
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Jim increases the pressure in Dwight’s urethra to 34,000 psi
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Sep 20, 2023 02:32
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poisonpill posted:Jim increases the pressure in Dwight’s urethra to 34,000 psi Jim increases the pressure in Dwight’s large intestine to 34,000 psi
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Sep 20, 2023 03:36
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Jim shows up to work wearing gym shorts and a hoodie (then increases the pressure in his vape pen to 34,000 psi).
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Sep 20, 2023 03:44
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British Jim increases British Dwight's whoopee cushion pressure to almost 7k pascals.
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Sep 20, 2023 03:54
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The office is upset for a few hours when the Vatican soldiers arrive to destroy 'The Beast', a creature of evil and mischief that they spent centuries hunting down to banish back into Hell. All signs have led them here, as the place reeks of the pranks of the unholy one... Jim, nervous at first, is able to convince the hardened warrriors of God that they've misinterpreted the scripture and that they should be out to destroy the BEETS. He provides them with the local Scranton Denny's map of the town with directions to Dwight's farm. Dwight is forced to use personal time to race them back to the farm in an attempt to save the season's crops. He does not succeed and is out 5 hours of vacation time. Jim puts in the fake eyes from the Michael Jackson Thriller video and mugs at the camera.
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Sep 20, 2023 04:55
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Jim increases Dwight's trucknutz to 69,000 candelas. The resulting light instantly sears the retinas of any unfortunate soul within 6 square miles. The light is so intense that the energy travels up the electromagnetic spectrum, into a frequency beyond what the human eye can comprehend. Einstein predicted the existence of Jim Particles but until modern day we could never measure them directly, but rather only measure their influence on the fabric of prank-space. The Jim Particles give everyone cancer.
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Sep 20, 2023 05:07
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Jim gets the rights to remake the Watchmen movie. Making it in secret over the last several months, Jim announces the premiere at the Scranton Theatre. Dwight, restless from the current tension between the US, China, Iran, and Russia goes to see the opening show hoping that Jim's jackass attempt at making the film will result at least in an absurdist joke that will take his mind off the world's problems for a few hours. As the film plays, he finds out Jim has cast himself as Ozymandias. Dwight accepts that Jim somehow has managed to... make it work. It's... good? The whole film is good, in fact. Dwight's cares and concerns are lost as he is engrossed in this retelling of the story. Dwight looks over to see Alan Moore in the audience. Alan, noticing Dwight, waves, and goes right back to watching the film. When the intermission comes on, Alan moves in closer to Dwight and apologizes for doing this, but asks if he can get an autograph. For the kids. Just make it out to Alan. That's what he calls his son. Alan. Intermission ends and the movie continues into the final act... Jim perfectly pulls off the "35 minutes ago line," and Dwight smiles for the first time at Jim's mugging to the camera. Then, in a reality breaking moment, the projector stops and the screen rises. Jim, in Ozymandias costume from the movie, emerges on to the stage with a wall of monitors behind him and hits a button on a remote. On the TVs, footage from all over the world of emergency broadcast signals declaring that China, India, Russia, the US, Israel, South Africa, England... They've all launched their nukes. Jim goes into a panic, screaming about how this wasn't the plan! There was supposed to be peace! Why would they all launch their nukes!? All he did was drop a war crime terrorist prank onto a major US city during a tense international crisis! That should have forced everyone come together! Dwight stands up and tries to calm everyone, saying that this is a Jim prank, he had to find some way to ruin everyone's good time by ruining the movie, but a moment later they realize that this is not the case as the first nuke hits Schrute Farms.
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Sep 20, 2023 11:47
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Jim begins gradually shrinking the waistband of Dwight’s pants, making Dwight believe he is gaining weight.
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Sep 20, 2023 11:59
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jim falsifies evidence that implicates dwight in the crime of simony, and releases it to the press
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Sep 20, 2023 12:53
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Jim usuries Dwight
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Sep 20, 2023 13:15
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Jim replaces Dwight’s head with a jack-o-lantern carved from a giant beet.
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Sep 20, 2023 13:28
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Jim releases a series of world-changing papers indicating how clown gas could be liquified and used as a carbon-neutral replacement for oil in almost every application. The papers also indicate that this only works if the gas is generated by pranking hapless do-gooders. Dwight, and a few other men who are of flawless moral character, agree to be pranked for the rest of their lives in order to save the world. Dwight sits on a whoopee cushion at a meeting with some important investors for the Dwight Shrute Clean Energy Fund (which has lost a lot of its previous cache once beet-derived fuel sources were rendered obsolete). At first he is visibly annoyed, but calms himself with the knowledge that he just powered a family home for one year while everyone in the room laughs at him.
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Sep 20, 2023 13:30
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Jim replaces Dwight’s head with a jack-o-lantern carved from a giant beet. Jim replaces Dwight’s shoes with a pair of armed antipersonnel mines.
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Sep 20, 2023 14:05
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Jim experiments with speed-running a prank, trying to see how quickly he can execute a "perfect prank run". Dwight wonders what that means, only to see Jim slide out of his chair, hit the wall, and then rapidly rise into the air and fly through the ceiling. Dwight then hears a muffled explosion in the distance and looks out the window, only to see a mushroom cloud rising from his beet farm. Jim, however, doesn't celebrate as he believes he can do this even quicker. The next day, he tells Dwight that he's figured out a much quicker way to execute a prank. Jim explains that Dwight can be "critically pranked" when his pixels line up with Kevin's pixels. "The hell are you talk -" Kevin is cut off as Jim shoves Dwight into Kevin, then jumps backwards. When Jim's feet hit the ground, he rapidly accelerates and flies backwards through the front door of the office. As he exists the building, Dwight's phone rings. It's his friend Rolf. Rolf explains that there's been a terrible accident and Dwight's grandmother was hit by a drunk driver. Jim, driven to perfection, is still unable to enjoy this prank. He becomes obsessed with shaving off infinitely small sections of time from his pranks, at one point telling Dwight that it's "the only thing keeping me alive right now".
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Sep 20, 2023 14:18
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Jim sets all of the clocks in the office ahead one hour. Dwight packs up and goes home at what he thinks is 5 o’clock and Michael fires him. Weeks later Jim finds out that Dwight is waiting tables at a local restaurant. He asks to be sat in Dwight’s section. Jim puts five one-dollar bills on the table and takes one away every time Dwight “doesn’t treat the customer with respect”.
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Sep 20, 2023 15:21
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Jim wants to win the "Kitchen Sink Challenge" at a local restaurant; a challenge where two competitors must eat a literal kitchen sink full of chicken wings and french fries. Jim, having no friends or close acquaintances, ends up asking Dwight to join him. Dwight says he's busy, but then Jim notes that the restaurant offers $500 to the winning team. "You could use that for charity or whatever!" Jim says with a smile, prompting Dwight to join him. Jim then fills up on bread before ordering the challenge, causing Dwight to have to eat the lion's share of the food. He still does, winning the challenge and earning $250 for charity. Jim then calls Dwight "a loving fatass" and implies he ate all of that food because he has "anxiety issues".
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Sep 20, 2023 15:27
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Jim accuses Dwight of walking backward on a Sunday with an ice cream cone in his pocket. Because of an ancient bizarre law that's legally still on the books in Pennsylvania, Dwight is convicted and sentenced to a punishment of 10 lashes plus the forfeiture of his dowery.
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Sep 20, 2023 15:45
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Dwight, hearing the term Shadow Realm used by red glowing eyed coworkers as the float across the room, consults his vintage Advanced D&D manuals, as well as his 3.5 and 5th edition rule books for tips on maxing his stats
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Sep 20, 2023 15:50
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naem posted:Dwight, hearing the term Shadow Realm used by red glowing eyed coworkers as the float across the room, consults his vintage Advanced D&D manuals, as well as his 3.5 and 5th edition rule books for tips on maxing his stats The pages illustrating the female half-orc class seem to be stuck together. Jim mugs the camera.
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Sep 20, 2023 15:51
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Jim invites himself over to Dwight's house and secretly drops 16 Tiny Jimmina's (rare, female Tiny Jims) out of his pocket. A few days later, Dwight's house is raided under an obscure Pennsylvania law that prevents more than 16 women from living in the same house (as it legally constitutes a brothel). The next morning, as a bedraggled Dwight drags himself into work straight from a night in the county jail, Jim greets him with, "What's up, pimp!"
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Sep 20, 2023 15:52
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Jim invites Dwight over for “D&D night” but unbeknownst to Dwight it actually stands for “Dogs & Dwight Night” where Jim and his friends eat hot dogs and play pranks on Dwight.
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Sep 20, 2023 15:58
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Jim cultivates essence during the work day, successfully expanding his dantian, allowing him to begin building his Core. To the rest of the office Jim sits in the break room, staring at the wall, while black sludge oozes from his pores.
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Sep 20, 2023 18:45
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Jim invites Dwight over for “D&D night” but unbeknownst to Dwight it actually stands for “Dogs & Dwight Night” where Jim and his dogs viciously maul Dwight.
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Sep 20, 2023 19:02
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Jim holds a dollar bill just above his crotch and asks Dwight, “Hey Dwight! You know what this is? It’s all you can eat for under a buck! Hahaha!” Jim is fired for sexual harassment.
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Sep 20, 2023 19:10
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Jim invites Dwight over for “D&D night” but unbeknownst to Dwight it actually stands for “Dungeons and Dragons Night", and Dwight is consumed by playing a Satanic game. When Jim (the GM) tells Dwight that his character is dead, Dwight kills himself.
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Sep 20, 2023 19:25
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| # ? May 31, 2024 11:22 |
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Jim invites Dwight over for “D&D night” but unbeknownst to Dwight it actually stands for “Dungeons and Dragons Night", and imprisons Dwight in a dungeon, where he is continuously menaced by a dragon. Once the sun rises the next day, Jim comes down and unlocks the cell, letting Dwight rush home so that he can quickly shower before work.
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Sep 20, 2023 19:26
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