Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

My supreme commandant is a bowl of Frank's and whirl, the butter flavored oil we used at Domino's when I worked there. That's how we made buffalo wings, a mixture of Frank's and whirl.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 14:04

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# ? May 26, 2024 22:13

Capital Letdown: Oct 5, 2006; i still cant fix red text avs someone tell me the bbcode for that im an admin and dont know this lmao

CannonFodder posted:

My supreme commandant is a bowl of Frank's and whirl, the butter flavored oil we used at Domino's when I worked there. That's how we made buffalo wings, a mixture of Frank's and whirl.

I love Dom's buffalo wings, and always thought it tasted like a thicker/creamier Franks. This was an enlightening post.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 14:11

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Yeah wing sauce is basically just hot sauce plus butter or oil. I found the premade Franks Xtra Hot wing sauce in the bottle to be quite satisfactory as far as heat and consistency

# ? Sep 22, 2023 14:33

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Capital Letdown posted:

I love Dom's buffalo wings, and always thought it tasted like a thicker/creamier Franks. This was an enlightening post.

Yeah. This was back in 2003 or so, but we would prep the wings by putting 10 in a little plastic bag, I tried to get an even mix of flats and drums, and we would prep the BBQ sauce which was some thick Kansas City Masterpiece style sauce (or maybe actually KC Masterpiece, I mean, it's Domino's, it's corporate) and the Frank's/whirl mix into squeeze bottles. Then when we got an order for wings, someone on the line would get a pizza tray and a pre-cut piece of aluminum foil, a bag of wings out of the fridge right there, squeeze in the choice of flavor, mix them all up in the bag, then put on the foil give an extra squeeze on the top, and put it into the rolling oven.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 14:34

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

# ? Sep 22, 2023 23:48

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

No actually that one is good.

# ? Sep 22, 2023 23:49

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Look at that hand coverage by the syrup though, the taste of probably great but I don't think I can take the ol' sticky hands

# ? Sep 23, 2023 00:04

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

It�s not a good pizza if you don�t get messy eating it.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 00:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I don't mind the sauce so much, but 8 can't stand anything sticky on there. I'd shamelessly go knife and fork on that one :wotwot:

# ? Sep 23, 2023 00:30

Doctor Bishop: Oct 22, 2013; To understand what happened at the diner, we use Mr. Papaya. This is upsetting because he is the friendliest of fruits.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Look at that hand coverage by the syrup though, the taste of probably great but I don't think I can take the ol' sticky hands

Dominic, you rat! How could you give your own brother the ol' sticky pizza?

# ? Sep 23, 2023 00:49

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

Dokapon Findom posted:

Yeah wing sauce is basically just hot sauce plus butter or oil.

Nervously remembering the butter-flavored coconut oil I got for popcorn and the bottle of Frank's in the fridge...

Already knew buffalo suace is Frank's and butter, but hmmm

# ? Sep 23, 2023 01:00

EconDad: Jul 20, 2013; you talkin' to me Sheriff?

oh... I thought you was talkin' to me.

THOSE DAMN ENCHILADAS

CannonFodder posted:

My supreme commandant is a bowl of Frank's and whirl, the butter flavored oil we used at Domino's when I worked there. That's how we made buffalo wings, a mixture of Frank's and whirl.

Yep, I remember finding out about the butter with the wing-sauce at Domino's as well. I always thought... there was no need for the butter, but... I mean, it doesn't make it like... worse tasting or anything, that's for sure.

# ? Sep 23, 2023 03:35

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_s1hdn7Z8AP1r0uzl6.mp4

# ? Sep 24, 2023 23:16

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_s1hdn7Z8AP1r0uzl6.mp4

They should instead use a hollowed out loaf of Italian bread filled with the pasta and topped with the sauce and cheese and consider it an abstract pizza

# ? Sep 24, 2023 23:25

Hasturtium: May 19, 2020; And that year, for his birthday, he got six pink ping pong balls in a little pink backpack.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_s1hdn7Z8AP1r0uzl6.mp4

I don�t know why this is more offensive to me than a simple, badly executed pizza. Maybe because the extra effort still results in something gross and actively hostile to my lactose intolerance.

# ? Sep 24, 2023 23:55

Bold Robot: Jan 6, 2009; Be brave.

DiGiorno pineapple pickle pizza

# ? Sep 25, 2023 00:17

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

Bold Robot posted:

DiGiorno pineapple pickle pizza

�Its not delivery it�s poo poo�

# ? Sep 25, 2023 00:18

ChairmanMauzer: Dec 30, 2004; It wears a human face.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_s1hdn7Z8AP1r0uzl6.mp4

None of the ingredients offend me, but the execution thereof certainly does.

# ? Sep 25, 2023 00:18

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Bold Robot posted:

DiGiorno pineapple pickle pizza

Ohio valley vibes night be too spicy

# ? Sep 25, 2023 00:42

Devonaut: Jul 10, 2001; Devoted Astronaut

Bold Robot posted:

DiGiorno pineapple pickle pizza

a good giorno to die

# ? Sep 25, 2023 00:59

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

There may not be rules but I think some pizza ethics are being violated there

# ? Sep 25, 2023 01:21

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Bold Robot posted:

DiGiorno pineapple pickle pizza

Digiorohno

# ? Sep 25, 2023 01:22

flesh dance: May 6, 2009

Toppings (and questionable cooking time? I thought that was raw until I noticed some of the cheese was melted) aside, the "rising crust" pizzas are nasty, just a bunch of gross dough. I haven't had one in years but I have doubts they've improved any

# ? Sep 25, 2023 01:31

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I always thought DiGiorno was decent for a frozen pizza, but in a weird way - only for about the first five minutes it's out of the oven. Like, the first slice and a half is fine, and then it just nosedives from there and no amount of reheating can save it.

# ? Sep 25, 2023 01:40

Hasturtium: May 19, 2020; And that year, for his birthday, he got six pink ping pong balls in a little pink backpack.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I always thought DiGiorno was decent for a frozen pizza, but in a weird way - only for about the first five minutes it's out of the oven. Like, the first slice and a half is fine, and then it just nosedives from there and no amount of reheating can save it.

So they�re like the madeleines* of pizza?

* Seriously, the first five to ten minutes straight out of the oven they�re delicious orangey witchcraft, and then unceremoniously turn into a small but ordinary spongecake. Still leagues better than the Digiorno metamorphosis, mind.

# ? Sep 25, 2023 02:21

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

One of the worst pages of the thread.

# ? Sep 25, 2023 02:41

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

ChairmanMauzer posted:

None of the ingredients offend me, but the execution thereof certainly does.

I'm mostly offended that they're calling them "boats" instead of "cones"

# ? Sep 25, 2023 02:58

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Upsidads posted:

Ohio valley vibes night be too spicy

I know these words but this sentence makes no sense!

# ? Sep 25, 2023 03:51

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Dokapon Findom posted:

I know these words but this sentence makes no sense!

That pizza, had Ohio valley pizza vibes. It might be too spicy for Ohio though

# ? Sep 25, 2023 04:42

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Bold Robot posted:

DiGiorno pineapple pickle pizza

It's not delivery, it's a Disaster.

# ? Sep 25, 2023 09:27

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Down here in Florida the worst pizza is well everything I have had here but second place is imposter pizza. Those are ones that claim to be NY or Chicago style but just end up being overpriced Florida style garbage

# ? Sep 25, 2023 17:56

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

External Organs posted:

# ? Sep 25, 2023 19:06

kiwid: Sep 30, 2013

Groda posted:

Decided to hold a pizza party and introduce some Swedes to a little culture.

I would kill this to be honest.

# ? Sep 25, 2023 19:16

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Upsidads posted:

Down here in Florida the worst pizza is well everything I have had here but second place is imposter pizza. Those are ones that claim to be NY or Chicago style but just end up being overpriced Florida style garbage

Cosigned, this is from Joey D's, which professes to do authentic Chicago food

That is not a chicago style buttery crust, it's just standard pizza dough, just in a cylinder formation. I was chewing my way through that for what felt like hours

# ? Sep 25, 2023 19:20

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

Upsidads posted:

Down here in Florida the worst pizza is well everything I have had here but second place is imposter pizza. Those are ones that claim to be NY or Chicago style but just end up being overpriced Florida style garbage

Sounds like authentic Chicago and New York style pizza to me

# ? Sep 25, 2023 19:33

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

Hasturtium posted:

So they�re like the madeleines* of pizza?

* Seriously, the first five to ten minutes straight out of the oven they�re delicious orangey witchcraft, and then unceremoniously turn into a small but ordinary spongecake. Still leagues better than the Digiorno metamorphosis, mind.

the croissant crust one is pretty ok i think

# ? Sep 25, 2023 19:55