r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

r/relationships: he had been served a starchy tuber against his will

# ? Sep 27, 2023 11:59

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:31

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

�Starchy tuber� is what Mrs. Potato Head calls it.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 12:05

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

AceClown posted:

r/relationships: he had been served a starchy tuber against his will

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Should�ve grabbed the potatoes and slowly crushed them with one hand while maintaining eye contact, juice dripping from between your clenched fingers.

And then shoved the artisanally hand-mashed potatoes into his mouth. "How'd you like those (earth-)apples!"

# ? Sep 27, 2023 12:15

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Shoulda brought a can of Pomme Deterrent

:dadjoke:

# ? Sep 27, 2023 12:22

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Pookah posted:

Shoulda brought a can of Pomme Deterrent

I think you can buy this in Australia but it�s a very different product

# ? Sep 27, 2023 12:38

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

For people afraid of Pomeranians?

# ? Sep 27, 2023 12:44

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

For people afraid of Pomeranians?

Lets go with that, yes.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 12:48

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

In terms of eavesdropping on people's conversations, when I worked at the zoo, in enclosed building where the only kid there is actually being quiet and not screaming about Nemo, it's pretty easy to hear the only two people talking.

Most of the time it was just people screaming about the hand fish when I was cleaning a tank, and it was almost always a tank or the fish would panic if the glass was hit and guess what they always did.

AITA for not including my friend's partner and son is the biography I'm writing about him?

quote:

I know I have another recent thread here. But this situation is another facet of that whole drama.

My friend Ted has been a huge inspiration to me since I experienced a real tragedy last May. I decided to write a biography about him (I'm an author.) I plan to sell it and give all the profits to him to help him start his business. Ted and I both asked his then girlfriend (They broke up not even two weeks ago) to do the cover art as a donation. She agreed to do it.

Ted didn't like the cover she was doing, which caused a meltdown on her end. She kept talking about how nothing she does is good enough for him anymore. And how she tries so hard to make him happy and he's never satisfied. Her and I talked for a while about her and Ted's relationship. It turns out she has been through a lot in her life. She's a survivor of a certain thing that can't be discussed in this community. She also survived a pretty bad car accident and had a near death experience while the EMTs were working on her. And Ted has wore her down so much that she is really depressed and sometimes has thoughts of something else that I can't mention here. But think about something that depressed people do sometimes... something that is permanent.

But anyway... she told me it makes a huge statement that I am writing a biography about Ted, and that her and Ted's son aren't even in the book. I told her I just couldn't think of a way to include them and that I really didn't mean that as a snub. Her answer, verbatim, was "How could you write a book about someone's life and not mention their partner or their son? Why couldn't you just include us as his partner and his son?" I really had no idea what to say. It just didn't occur to me to write about either of them. Me and my daughter are in the book, but we are included as part of Ted's circle of friends. I told her it wasn't Ted's decision to not include her and his son. And she said, "Well I guess that just shows how we are not important to him. His friends don't even think we are a big part of his life."

Ok, since I posted my other thread I've been thinking about this issue specifically. And it's really gnawing at me. Because she has a point. I've never written a bio about anyone before. It just honestly never even crossed my mind to include her and his son. Ted is the focus of the book. Not his family, etc. She isn't his girlfriend anymore and she blocked me after they broke up. So I guess it doesn't matter really. I just wonder if it was really that bad that I didn't mention them at all in my book.

So AITA?

There are more questions thab answers in this post, including what kind of money he expects to be making off of this.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:20

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Cowslips Warren posted:

In terms of eavesdropping on people's conversations, when I worked at the zoo, in enclosed building where the only kid there is actually being quiet and not screaming about Nemo, it's pretty easy to hear the only two people talking.

Most of the time it was just people screaming about the hand fish when I was cleaning a tank, and it was almost always a tank or the fish would panic if the glass was hit and guess what they always did.

AITA for not including my friend's partner and son is the biography I'm writing about him?

There are more questions thab answers in this post, including what kind of money he expects to be making off of this.

Let�s hope it�s a business that Ted can start with less than $100. I�d love to know if OP is a man or a woman.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:23

PizzaProwler: Nov 4, 2009; Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.

therattle posted:

I�d love to know if OP is a man or a woman.

Why?

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:31

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Do women have an innate understanding of the economic possibilities of self-publishing biographies of un-famous people?

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:39

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pirate Radar posted:

Do women have an innate understanding of the economic possibilities of self-publishing biographies of un-famous people?

This is why God cast Lilith out of the Garden

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:41

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for causing a lot of drama over a book cover?

quote:

I'm an author, and back in May my hsuband died. When he died I met this guy through a work event named Ted. Ted started taking my daughter and I places, etc. He started referring to my late husband as his brother and me as his sister. He started calling my daughter his daughter. I thought this was weird but I was grieving and I liked having someone around. I had a friend come to visit from the other side of the country and she assured me that Ted was a great guy and that I was just being paranoid. Ted was financially struggling and I helped him pay a lot of bills. I really saw him as my guardian angel.

Well, Ted had a girlfriend. I immediately took to her. We have a lot in common and she's a really quiet, creative person who's been through a lot. I saw a lot of myself in her and I wanted to befriend her. So we started talking on Facebook.

Ted has a teenage son. Shortly after he started spending time with me, his son left to live with relatives. Ted said it was because they didn't get along. I heard him call his son worthless, etc, but figured that was between them.

Well, after his son left, my daughter moved in with him. She's not technically my daughter. She is someone I met online who was in an abusive situation. She's 18, so I told her come and live with. My hub and I planned to adopt her.

I was so inspired by Ted that I decided to write a book about him, in his honor. His gf is a pro artist, so I asked her to do the cover art. I also noticed that he didn't spend much time with her, but again I figured this is between them.

So she started on the book cover. Ted and I both asked her to donate it. I don't have a lot to pay her. And all the profit from the book were going to Ted to help start his business, so she agreed. She sent me the work in progress one night to ask me what I thought. I loved it. I sent it to Ted and he didn't like it. He wrote this long list of criticisms about it. So I told her, "Hey, this is what Ted said." and sent her the exact list of things she should change.

Well, this triggered a meltdown from her. She said things like, "I'm so sick of nothing being good enough. I do nothing btu try to make him happy and I can't do a drat thing right. I'm doing this book cover for free to benefit him and it's still not good enough." She had to schedule a crisis appointment with her therapist the next day because she was that upset. She also questioned me about why I'm writing this book about Ted's life, and her and his son aren't even in the book . She told me that since we came along Ted hasn't wanted anything to do with her or his son. And a few days after that my daughter ran away. We still don't know where she is. Ted came over to my house to talk about how to find her. But I told Ted some of the things his GF told me. Then I took a nap. He was on my computer and he read my Facebook covnersation with her gf. I woke up to him cussing her out and screaming at her. She broke up with him.

So now multiple people are hurt and I feel like it's my fault. I wanted to apologize to Ted's now ex, but she blocked me. So AITA?

so OP's a woman and ted's a great guy, OP's friend from the other side of the country says so

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:44

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Biplane posted:

This is why God cast Lilith out of the Garden

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:45

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

i get the feeling that OP is an "author" in the same sense that someone with a garage full of unsold mary kay poo poo is a "salesperson"

# ? Sep 27, 2023 13:53

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not including my friend's partner and son is the biography I'm writing about him?

She's a survivor of a certain thing that can't be discussed in this community. She also survived a pretty bad car accident and had a near death experience while the EMTs were working on her. And Ted has wore her down so much that she is really depressed and sometimes has thoughts of something else that I can't mention here. But think about something that depressed people do sometimes... something that is permanent.

Wink winking harder than when Twofer tries to tell you he went to Harvard without name dropping.

The second post really shows how blithely OP looks past Ted�s obvious abuse. And the detail with the not-adopted daughter? Hmmmm.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:00

Kuiperdolin: Sep 5, 2011; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not including my friend's partner and son is the biography I'm writing about him?

There are more questions thab answers in this post, including what kind of money he expects to be making off of this.

Why does he care so much if she gets a goth tattoo?

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:01

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for causing a lot of drama over a book cover?

so OP's a woman and ted's a great guy, OP's friend from the other side of the country says so

This whole thing is fuckin bizarre. I do not understand the nature of Ted and OPs relationship. They met at a work event, and within a couple weeks he was calling her dead husband his brother and himself.her kids dad? He is so closely intertwined in their life he is staying over at OPs house, but has his own adult children and girlfriend? He seems like he does have money so would have no need to be staying with a random woman he met recently whom he has no romantic relationship with. This is some kind of drama nexus.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:03

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Badly Jester posted:

I gotta ask: outside of reddit posts, I have never once encountered or even heard of a bunch of people all piling on and "blowing up someone's phone" over poo poo that they're not directly involved in. Is this just something that reddit posters make up to add drama or justify their validation seeking, or is this really a common group/family dynamic in the US? Because it seems loving insane to me.

It's absolutely a thing that happens in some toxic/abusive families as a method to keep people in line. It's basically a harassment technique.

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for stating no pets at my wedding?

"Why wasn't my dog's name on the invite to the wedding" is the most insane thing I've ever read.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:25

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Neito posted:

It's absolutely a thing that happens in some toxic/abusive families as a method to keep people in line. It's basically a harassment technique.

"Why wasn't my dog's name on the invite to the wedding" is the most insane thing I've ever read.

And the real thing is, it's the venue's rule, not the bride's at all.

WIBTA if I told my husband I didn�t want kids because of him

quote:

I want to start off by saying I love my(28f) husband(33M) and he is great man and amazing to me and everyone he loves. Yes we�ve had issues but we�re very big into communicating them and can come to a solution quite quickly. However, my husband and I are both diagnosed OCD. His is germs and filth while mine is more everything has a place, organization, and perfection basically. With that said we disagree on many things since I don�t care about pet hair, crumbs on the counter etc and he doesn�t care if his stuff is everywhere as long as it�s clean stuff.

[backstory, before we moved in together my animals always slept with me, were allowed on the furniture etc and once we moved in together that stopped]

So he talks about our future kids, what extra curricular we might want them to try and so forth. I used to want kids but now I�m very much leaning towards not. If it happens I�ll be delighted and love them unconditionally but I think I would prefer not having them.

So onto the part where I could be the rear end in a top hat. He�s made comments about how he doesn�t think he could change diapers or deal with the spit up so I�ll have to do it. I don�t agree with this at all because I think parenthood should be all hands on deck from conception on. I worry about wanting to go somewhere by myself, or with friends, and him not wanting to feed or change the baby while I�m gone. Or having to get up every night, throughout the night, to do this. I don�t blame him for not wanting to because of his OCD, but I am scared. And what happens if the baby has a blowout or spit up on the couch or on the bed? He already doesn�t let our animals on them? I don�t want to be the one 100% cleaning up after them or changing them or feeding them. I also want to point out that I�m a big napper and sleeper. I take 1-2 hour naps at least 3 times a week and need at least 9 hours of sleep a night. He can only sleep for 4-5 hours a day so he usually goes to bed at 3-4am and is up by 8. I know that will change if we have kids but to lose that much sleep to do everything while he can�t because of the OCD is giving me major anxiety. We both love each other very much but I feel like I�d basically be a single parent doing everything for the first few years if not more if we have kids.

My wife wants to name our daughter �Ebony�

quote:

Baby Names
For context, we�re both white. I told her it seems like a strange name for a white baby, but she thinks I�m reading too much into it. Thoughts?

reddit:

quote:

They should name her Mohammad.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:36

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Foo Diddley posted:

i get the feeling that OP is an "author" in the same sense that someone with a garage full of unsold mary kay poo poo is a "salesperson"

Yeah their total inexperience with the book cover creation process and accompanying etiquette suggests they've never been published or, it's vanity press.

They said in the comments they thought Ted's girlfriend should have been more excited to make the cover for fred 'out of the kindness of her own heart, to help her SO', which is also not generally the perspective a professional, paid artist has about another artist's time.

I am pretty sure OP has been taken in by a charismatic conman who scams free work out of the women in his life, and she's made the mistake of thinking that charisma is something magical and unique and worth sharing, rather than a bag of vaudeville tricks this guy uses to shirk responsibility.

Just pure naivete from the top down. Oh OP. Your book isn't going to magically earn Ted tons of money to start his business. Not only is that not how it works, Ted isn't that interesting. No one else gives a poo poo about Ted, A Guy Who Was Nice To You, to read a whole book about him. And I'm willing to bet, he wasn't that nice, considering we're already hearing about how she has been giving him money.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 14:42 on Sep 27, 2023

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:39

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

quote:

He was a heroine addict who got clean and eventually got a job with the FBI, for one. That's the biggest thing. He doesn't currently work for the FBI, though. He had to resign due to mental health issues.

I'm thinking Ted is a conman who absolutely chose the wrong mark here.

Edit: Wrong mark if all he's getting out of her is a book. He might also be getting living expenses and the book thing is just to string her along.

Fatty fucked around with this message at 14:44 on Sep 27, 2023

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:41

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Fatty posted:

I'm thinking Ted is a conman who absolutely chose the wrong mark here.

Edit: Wrong mark if all he's getting out of her is a book. He might also be getting living expenses and the book thing is just to string her along.

"The FBI, which is undergoing a hiring crunch because it can't hire anyone who's ever used pot, hired a guy who was a heroine addict".

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:45

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Fatty posted:

I'm thinking Ted is a conman who absolutely chose the wrong mark here.

Edit: Wrong mark if all he's getting out of her is a book. He might also be getting living expenses and the book thing is just to string her along.

well, he also got an 18 year old girl to move in with him, but i'm sure an upstanding guy like ted wouldn't take advantage of that situation at all

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:48

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Fatty posted:

I'm thinking Ted is a conman who absolutely chose the wrong mark here.

Edit: Wrong mark if all he's getting out of her is a book. He might also be getting living expenses and the book thing is just to string her along.

She's also paying at least some of his bills, per the post, so I think your edit is on point.

This situation sucks and the comments make it worse cause I don't think this woman is going to wise up.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 14:54

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for driving away without my wife because she can't plan?

Can�t plan, no sense of time, stuck in video games. Your wife is probably adhd as hell, dumbass

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:08

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

that must be why everyone is dragging their baggage into that story

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:11

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Fatty posted:

Edit: Wrong mark if all he's getting out of her is a book. He might also be getting living expenses and the book thing is just to string her along.

I get the sense the book is her idea, not his and he's playing along with it bc its flattering to his ego. From the outside looking it, it appears that OP sincerely thinks he's a good man who will be able to take care of himself, if she just gives him enough to launch his business.

She's trying to 'help him get on his feet' by using her skills bc she's probably unable to keep funnelling him money.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:21

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

idiotsavant posted:

Can�t plan, no sense of time, stuck in video games. Your wife is probably adhd as hell, dumbass

Okay...and? I'm ADHD as hell, and you work around it, not use it as an excuse for "You can't be mad at me because".

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:26

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

The book is also an incredible sunk cost fallacy thing. When she finally realizes he's a piece of poo poo its going to so much harder to extricate herself because she put so much work in.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:28

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

hawowanlawow posted:

that must be why everyone is dragging their baggage into that story

I mean if it�s undiagnosed adhd it absolutely affects your adult life in a myriad of ways that people will write up as you being flakey or an rear end in a top hat or a number of other things

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Okay...and? I'm ADHD as hell, and you work around it, not use it as an excuse for "You can't be mad at me because".

Sure, if you know you have adhd and know how your particular version actually impacts your life. Otherwise you�re the rear end in a top hat who�s always late, or who�s a pain because you always interrupt conversations, etc etc, and why can�t you just be normal? Well, because your brain doesn�t work normally and you don�t know it.

Not to say that every flakey latecomer has ADHD but the quoted story sounds as whole lot like it

idiotsavant fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Sep 27, 2023

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Badly Jester posted:

I gotta ask: outside of reddit posts, I have never once encountered or even heard of a bunch of people all piling on and "blowing up someone's phone" over poo poo that they're not directly involved in. Is this just something that reddit posters make up to add drama or justify their validation seeking, or is this really a common group/family dynamic in the US? Because it seems loving insane to me.

Neito posted:

It's absolutely a thing that happens in some toxic/abusive families as a method to keep people in line. It's basically a harassment technique.

Yeah, it's called 'flying monkeys' by some and predates social media, though def supercharged by it. Mostly a thing in abusive families led by a particular figure who everyone fearfully obeys lest they be made the next target, and especially when ridiculous standards are socially enforced. Probably becoming less of a thing with broader awareness of abuse and willingness to cut out abusers. And something of the dark reflection of close-knit families who'll come together like a wolf pack to help people in need.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:32

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

If it�s ADHD, that�s understandable, but she needs to seek treatment for it if that�s the case if she doesn�t want to perpetually be the Person Who Is Always Late

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:32

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for taking potatoes off a guy's plate at a wedding?

AceClown posted:

he had been served a starchy tuber against his will

r/relationships: He was maliciously served potatoes.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:32

deported to Canada: Jun 1, 2006

Sometimes I'm late for things cause I'm playing video games. I think its cause I like playing video games.

Would've neat if I could get a diagnosis though cause then I could play more video games.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:43

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Okay...and? I'm ADHD as hell, and you work around it, not use it as an excuse for "You can't be mad at me because".

Ok well have you ever struggled? Was there ever a time in your life when you weren't yet diagnosed, you were just bad at everything no matter what you did, like maybe because mostly people just get mad at you and tell you you're a bad person for being late, and any advice they give you is intended for neurotypical people and your brain literally didn't work that way so their advice didn't work?

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:44

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

PizzaProwler posted:

Why?

Pirate Radar posted:

Do women have an innate understanding of the economic possibilities of self-publishing biographies of un-famous people?

Because it had strong vibes of OP being (or wanting to be) romantically entangled with Ted, although they could just as easily be a man. It�s is more likely that they are a woman though (and it felt a bit more like it was written (badly) by a woman, but maybe I am saying that with hindsight).

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:45

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

"my question wasn't meant to be misogynist, just mildly homophobic" lol

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:47

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

StrangersInTheNight posted:

I get the sense the book is her idea, not his and he's playing along with it bc its flattering to his ego.

I think the real reason Ted is playing along with it because it�s a great way to keep her locked in to supporting him financially. While she�s writing the book extolling your virtues, she�s not going to re-think her relationship with Ted.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:49

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:31

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

Yeah one of the things with ADHD is you're always wrong about how long it'll take you to get ready. I know that about myself so I way overshoot it and then end up just sitting and staring at a wall for like ten minutes until it's a normal time to leave for whatever I'm doing. It can definitely go the other way though. Not excusing the lateness, like others have said you have to find strategies to handle it. Although I do agree that there's not enough detail for that particular incident--like if she was in the bathroom, it's possible she could have been ready to leave two minutes later.

Cowslips Warren posted:

WIBTA if I told my husband I didn�t want kids because of him

I'm always confused by people who are like, "If I don't get ten hours of sleep a night my mental health immediately deteriorates, but I'm sure I can handle a baby just fine." That said, she seems like she's being realistic about it and I hope she sticks to her decision, because yeah lol that her germ-fixated husband would be able to deal with diapers or puke.

# ? Sep 27, 2023 15:49

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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